


Crazy Little Thing 'Bout Love

by HMarvels31



Category: Celebrity Fanfiction, Chris Evans - Fandom, Chris Evans Fandom, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, Sebastian Stan Fandom
Genre: Acting, Best Friends, Comedy, Confused Sebastian, Drama, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Goofiness, Heartbreak, Hollywood, Marvel - Freeform, Misunderstandings, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romance, media, new avenger, relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2018-09-21 00:31:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 230,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9523013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMarvels31/pseuds/HMarvels31
Summary: You had always loved acting and music, and after managing to get a break on Broadway you found yourself on the set of an upcoming Marvel movie - playing a top secret and all new character who would debut in the movies before her first ever comic issue is released. Amazing right?You and Chris became friends immediately, but soon things got a lot more complicated than you could've guessed. Throw being newly in the limelight, the media, work, and the likes of none other than Sebastian Stan into the mix, and life just got a whole lot crazier.Because who could've guessed the Crazy Little Thing 'Bout Love?





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a long day at set, and all you could think about was getting back to your hotel room, taking a long, hot bath (most likely with a glass or two of wine), and catching up on the latest episode of Nashville. It had become a bit of a guilty pleasure, seeing as how you’d very nearly gone down the music path before the opportunity of acting presented itself to you. The music was still a huge part of your life, you just wanted to hold back and see where acting would take you. After managing a part on Broadway you’d been approached by Marvel, which had taken you completely by surprise, to play an all-new character, who wasn’t even released in the comics yet. She was a top-secret surprise, coming from a very similar place as the one and only Bucky Barnes, and you’d been too excited for words to accept. 

“Hey! Claire! Wait up; you cabbing back?” You were nearly startled by the familiar voice behind you, and looked over your shoulder to grin at Chris. The two of you had been in Atlanta for the past three weeks working on fight choreography together. The rest of the cast wasn’t scheduled to show up for prep for at least another week, and you were beyond glad Chris was the outgoing, friendly man he was. He’d taken you under his wing immediately; having reached out with an email once he heard you were brought on, finding you a great trainer and giving you tips about getting ‘superhero’ ready and warning you that you were going to hate life when you started the diet to stay that way until filming ended. He’d been right on all counts. 

“You bet; wanna split it?” you asked, and he slung an arm comfortably around your shoulders, adjusting his duffel bag on his opposite shoulder while the two of you walked to the edge of the lot. 

“For sure. Got any ideas for supper?” he was poking around, hoping for something exciting, and you knew him well enough to know what he was getting at. Chris hated eating alone, especially with the sad diet the two of you were restricted to for the film. Even worse he hated cooking for himself.

“I was seriously thinking about ordering a double cheeseburger with bacon and pickles and poutine fries with extra gravy and extra cheese and smothering them in ketchup and drinking a few beer and—” 

“God Claire you’re killing me!” he groaned, tipping his head back and putting a hand to his chest, as if to show that you were stabbing him in the heart. “My mouth is watering and everything!” 

“I know… Chris it’s been like six months since I’ve even touched a burger. Touched one. I smelled one the other day walking downtown and just about had a meltdown,” you pouted, and got a hug from the much taller man. 

“I know, I know. I feel your pain, so much,” he sighed, and flagged down the yellow cab that was coming down the street toward the gates of the movie lot.  
“How about we have a cheat night?” you whispered, and saw an eyebrow raise up as he looked over mischievously at you. Soon there was a sly grin on his face, and you knew Chris was as invested in the idea as you were. 

“A cheat night? Do continue,” he said as he opened the cab door for you. You slid in easily, dropping your bag between your knees and waiting for Chris to walk around to the far side of the car and get in. He buckled in and easily rattled off the address for the short-term rental building that both of you were currently living in.  
“I’m thinking… we go grocery shopping separately. Harder for somebody to rat on us that way,” you said, keeping your voice low and conspiratory. Marvel always seemed to have eyes and ears everywhere and you both knew it. Chris leaned in, nodding excitedly to every word you said. “You go grab a box of beer, I’ll go to the market, buy some groceries, you go to a different one and get a few of the other things. Then we convene at my apartment and make real food.” 

“Fuck this is why I love you,” he grinned, and mussed up your hair in a brotherly fashion. It was all you could do to swipe at his bear-paw hands and then try to fix the mess he’d made of your brown locks.

“It’s a deal, when we get to the apartment I’m gonna take a shower then pop over so we can figure out the details,” decision made, Chris leaned back in his seat, looking smug and pleased with himself. 

“Good; I can smell you from here,” you teased, and managed to make him laugh before he tried to pout, but couldn’t keep a straight face long enough. Scarlett had already joked to you that you’d taken up residence as best friend/little sister in Chris’s life. It was a running joke, but Chris never denied it when Scarlett brought it up, and you’d only had the privilege of hearing about it because she’d brought the kids out to visit Chris and she’d slipped the term out very accidentally-on-purpose in front of you. 

“Cuz you smell like a field of daisies right now,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes while you made eye contact with the cabbie who was grinning, listening to the two of you banter. 

“Better than you; I showered before I graced others with my presence,” you tried to go for a snotty voice but cracked and started laughing partway through instead, Chris joining in after a moment or two. 

“Graced others with your presence… God,” he was still chuckling when the cab pulled up outside of your building, and it was only after arguing with Chris that he let you split the fare, and the two of you made your way inside and up to the third floor where both of your apartments were. The identical white doors faced each other, 311 and 310, and you gave Chris a hip check and a cheeky wave before letting yourself into the fully furnished apartment that the studio had rented out for you in Atlanta while pre-production training and filming took place. It was nice; fair sized for one person, with two bedrooms, two baths, and an open concept living area, kitchen and dining room. It was a lot nicer than the little studio you had hardly been able to afford in New York while living and working there. Dropping your bag beside the grey, overstuffed couch you quickly took stock of your kitchen – which was a quick task. You were on set so much there was hardly time to cook, and then you were so limited in what your training regiment allowed anyway there wasn’t much there – and then collapsed onto the couch to channel surf until Chris showed up.  
It took him a half an hour, which was no real surprise. Chris was infamous for starting to sing in the shower and staying in there, which you couldn’t tease about because you were bad for doing the same thing. You just hadn’t been caught doing so yet. As per usual, he let himself in with his spare key and made himself comfy beside you, cuddling up and setting his head on your shoulder, still damp hair included. 

“Feel better?” you asked, and he nodded, stifling a bit of a yawn. The two of you had done a two-hour workout today, followed by four and a half hours of fight choreography and then some training in sparring and bits and pieces of jiu jitsu, some parkour, a little bit of boxing, and some judo to try and help bring more realism to the movements. In all, it meant you were both exhausted. 

“God yeah. Although I’m ready to fill my face and go to sleep,” he chuckled, and then looked up at you with those ridiculous blue-green eyes that could charm a mountain into moving. 

“Same here,” it was a simple fact, and he laughed again before sitting up properly. 

“So, cheat meal… what we thinking here?” 

“Burgers? Lasagna? Pizza?” you were soon rattling off all of your favorite foods, which coincidentally were all on the can not eat list. 

“Goddamn… can we eat all of those things?” he asked, and you burst out laughing before giving his shoulder a slight shove. His excitement was admirable but ridiculous… there was no way they could pack back all of that. Although it was Chris… 

“What have you been craving the worst?” you asked, and he chuckled. 

“Carbs. Anything with carbs… or bread,” he replied, and it only took moments to make a decision from there. 

“Pizza,” the two of you immediately answered in combination, and laughed afterward. Two peas in a pod, the Russo’s called you. 

“All right, so from the aforementioned plan… you pick up some beer, and I’ll send you to get these ingredients…” you grabbed his phone and began making a shopping list in his notes. “I’ll get the rest… we reconvene here and make pizza, and then pig out hard. Deal?” 

“God I love you,” Chris shot you his award winning smile before the two of you headed to do the shopping necessary to make the cheat meal you’d both craving for weeks. Hopping into your car, you quickly gave Chris a thumbs up and a wink where he was seated in his own rental in the spot beside you. He quickly backed out of the space and peeled out, leaving you to shake your head before following him out of the parking lot at a more reasonable pace. Chris always seemed to have a bit of a flare for acting like a sixteen-year-old who just got his license. 

After a quick trip through the local grocery store, picking up ingredients to make the crust, along with veggies for toppings and a ridiculous amount of cheese, you made the split second decision to grab a tub of ice cream before making your way back toward the outskirts of the city where you were now living. Chris hadn’t arrived back yet, and so you quickly took your grocery bags into your apartment and began getting organized enough to make pizza crust. 

Marvel had so kindly taken it upon themselves to help stock the small kitchen; there were mixing bowls, baking pans, everything a person would need short of the actual ingredients, but with so little off-time you hadn’t really had an opportunity to learn your way round the space or make use of most of it. After bumbling around to find a large enough mixing bowl and a pizza pan, you were soon flicking through recipes saved on your tablet to find your mother’s pizza dough. It always tasted better from scratch anyway, and some of your favorite memories were with your mother and grandmother cooking and baking. Once you’d found it, you quickly put on some music, and although a glass of wine would’ve been a nice final touch, you settled for a bottle of flavored water as you began measuring out ingredients.

“Honey! I’m home!” Chris called with a flourish as he let himself in, making you chuckle as you wiped the flour from your hands onto your leggings and took two of the grocery bags off of his hands. With a cheeky grin he pecked your cheek, before he brought out a bottle of wine with a flourish. 

“Thought my best girl would be craving her poison of choice,” he explained, and you cupped both of his clean-shaven cheeks in your hands and pressed an eager kiss to his nose before swiping the bottle from him and trotting back to the kitchen. His booming laugh followed you as he began taking cans of beer from their box and placing them in the fridge to cool. 

“That’s why you’re my best guy,” you told him, and then gestured to the bottle. “Want a glass?” 

“Why not? It’s cheat night after all,” he smirked, and you poured him a generous glass before taking a sip, savoring the sweet, fruity flavors on your tongue before returning to your earlier task. Chris watched you with interested eyes as he leaned back against your kitchen table, wine glass looking dwarfed in his large hand. He was ruggedly handsome with a beard, yet looked the spitting image of a proper gentleman like this; clean shaven, with his hair a little longer and combed just so. Your mother and best friend thought he was the perfect man. It was trying to make them understand that he was the big brother you never had that became interesting with them. 

“What? Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you didn’t bother turning your head to look at him, and heard him snort as he laughed. 

“I just might,” and then you heard the distinguishable sound of the shutter of his phone and let out a groan before flipping him the finger for an instant, knowing it wouldn’t have the gravity you hoped considering your hands were covered in pizza dough. He laughed again before your phone buzzed on the counter top. You weren’t as big on twitter as he was but he’d obviously shared the photo to his followers. 

“Now everybody knows how cute and domestic you are,” you could hear the teasing in his voice and silently mocked him, knowing full well he knew what you were doing. 

“Me? Cute and domestic? You wound me, Evans,” 

“Come on… you know you love it. You’ll make a great wifey to somebody,” he continued to torment you while you mixed up the dough and then covered it so it could rise. Taking another slow sip of your wine you turned to face him, eyebrow raised up as best as you could manage as the two of you stared off. 

“I will not be a ‘wifey’ to anybody,” you declared, and then Chris gestured behind you to the messy set up in your kitchen. 

“Looks pretty wifey material to me,” 

“Oh shut up and make yourself useful… ain’t nobody gonna wife you up if all you did is sit and watch,” you snarked back at him, and he put a hand to his chest as if you’d just stabbed him. 

“How could you… Claire there are tons of people out there who would love to wife me up, thank you very much. My mother didn’t raise a useless man,” he informed you, and then set down his glass to roll up his sleeves. “What would you like?” 

“How about you grate up the cheese for me?” you asked, and with a nod he soon set about the task you’d given him. It was companionable and easy, the two of you working in the kitchen together, dodging around each other for your glasses of wine or whatever else you needed. Chris had soon grated up the cheese and sliced up the meat for the pizza while you chopped vegetables and seasoned the sauce. He was soon watching you work the dough before you began spreading it into the pan, the way your grandma had taught you, both of you singing along to the Aladdin soundtrack that had queued up on your tablet. 

“There we go, in thirty five minutes we are going to have the food of the gods,” you announced as you set the timer. Chris let out a happy groan and made himself comfortable on your couch, patting the seat beside him for you to join him. 

“So… you doing okay?” you quietly asked, taking another sip of your wine. Chris tensed for an instant before relaxing again and shrugging his shoulders. He and his girlfriend had split up partway through this pre-production training, and you knew he’d taken it harder than he’d let on to the rest of the crew. You’d woken two nights after hearing the news to Chris banging on your apartment door, eyes red and puffy, and he’d all but broken down on your couch about it. It had been a rough week, and you’d made sure he knew your apartment was a safe place he could come and rant or cry or talk and he’d taken you up on it. More than one night he’d spent sleeping on your couch with your arms around his torso as he leaned against you. It was hard trying to get used to sleeping alone when something that monumental happened, you understood. You’d gone through the same thing after taking the job in New York. It was just nice to make sure Chris had support while he went through the same thing. 

“Okay as I can be, I guess. She started posting pictures all over Facebook and twitter with somebody else last week,” he mumbled, and you felt your heart drop for him. It was like somebody pulled away a mask slowly and the light in his eyes dimmed, the corners of his mouth dropped and his shoulders sagged. 

“It’s only been like two months! How could she?” you growled, and pulled Chris in, wrapping your arms protectively around his shoulders. He let out a sigh and nuzzled in against you, glad for the warmth and safety you could provide him. 

“I don’t know… but it hurt. A lot,” he admitted softly, and you nodded, running your hand through his hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head, the way your mom did whenever you’d been heartbroken when you were younger. 

“You’ll get through it Chris. I know how shitty it is right now, but you’re strong. And you’re sweet and smart and funny and you’ll find the right girl. If she’s capable of this she obviously wasn’t good enough for you,” you retorted, and managed to get a dismal chuckle from the much larger man. 

“You’re funny,” he allowed, but you rolled your eyes and cupped his cheek, making him look up. 

“I’m right, though,” you insisted, and he gave you a smile. It was important to check in with him like this; Chris was so good at burying things and pretending all was fine you needed to make sure the man behind the actor was still managing. He’d even admitted that he struggled with it a lot, and it had been the cause for a lot of his partying when he was younger, trying to deal with and hide whatever was really going on in his life. 

“I hope you are,” he agreed, and let out a long breath, settling against you more as the two of you were content to sit curled up together until your dinner was ready.


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh my God… can I wife you up? This pizza is amazing,” Chris was speaking through the largest mouthful of pizza you’d ever seen, his words garbled and mushed together as you got an unpleasant glimpse of his half-chewed food while he spoke. You made a face at him and then made a point of politely chewing and _swallowing_ your food before speaking. 

“I don’t know Chris… you know I expect a lot out of somebody who’s putting a ring on my finger…” 

“Name it. Name it and I’ll do it if it means you cook for me,” he deadpanned, and you giggled before pretending to think on it as you swirled the rest of your beer around in the can. He was demolishing his fourth piece of pizza, and you hadn’t even sprung the news about there being ice cream in the freezer on him yet. He was going to freak out. 

“Hmm… well… I hate doing laundry,” 

“Done. I’ll hire somebody for that,” 

“I want lots of dogs,” you continued, and he smiled and took a swig of his beer. 

“Also done. Dodger is going to love you,” he easily shrugged it off, and you gave him a devilish grin, wondering if you could throw him off his game. 

“I also expect a lot physically…” you trailed off, again getting a nonchalant shrug before an expected flex of his biceps for your viewing pleasure. 

“Easy peasy. God you thought this was going to be difficult?” 

“… in the bedroom,” you finished, and saw his eyes nearly bug out of his head and he began to all but choke. After you realized that Chris was in fact still breathing and wasn’t dying in front of you, you began to laugh, having finally found a way to shock the usually go-with-the-flow man. It wasn’t easy; there wasn’t much that didn’t roll off of his shoulders with an easy grin or a snort of a laugh.

“Jesus Christ Claire… you can’t _say_ shit like that! My god…” he finally groaned, and you simply laughed before downing most of your can and getting up to get both of you another beer from the fridge. 

“Well, you said name it, so…” with an equally nonchalant shrug you sat back down and handed him the fresh, unopened can and he gave you a dirty look as he accepted it. Continuing to eyeball you over it he cracked the can open and took a long drink from it, eyes never leaving your face as you went back to finishing your first drink.

“Well then, get ready for me to rock your world… but we might need another few boxes of beer before either of us want to see the other naked,” he allowed, and this time it was you sputtering and struggling and you realized beer had actually exited through your nose. It burned, and all you could smell was the yeasty, hops smell of the brew he’d picked up as you coughed. 

“Gonna be okay there?” he asked, thumping you on the back to make sure you weren’t truly choking. “Hey, what can I say? I like a woman who can cook?” 

The joke was enough to dissipate some of the awkwardness his earlier comment had made, and then the two of you were laughing hysterically at the situation you’d just created. It wasn’t that you didn’t find Chris attractive, or he you; he’d told you on more than one occasion how beautiful he thought you were, with exotic, olive-toned skin, grey eyes and dark raven colored hair. But it was the familial relationship the two of you had created that made it so strange and outlandish and almost uncomfortable to picture the other as anything more than friendly.

“I don’t know… Chris, hon, don’t take it the wrong way… but…” 

“You don’t want to see me naked any more than I want to see you naked?” he suggested, and you nodded, glad for his easy understanding. 

“No problem, no offense taken. But you get to explain to my mother that we won’t ever have children because the thought of seeing me naked makes your ovaries want to commit suicide,” he shrugged, and you let out a gasp before swatting at his arm, your face hot and bright red. And he said that you had no filter.

“Christopher! That’s a terrible thing to say!”

“Well she’s gonna ask!” he defended himself, and then raised his hands in the symbol of defeat. “I swear, it’s like she lives for being a grandma; you would not believe how many times I get asked when I’m going to get my shit together and settle down, because _I’m not getting any younger you know_.” 

“Oh, poor Christopher…” you cooed at him, making him swat and pout, even though it didn’t really do much to sway your guilt. “At least you don’t have a _biological_ clock ticking… my parents like to remind me of that all the time.” 

“Biological… Jesus Claire… you’re only what? Twenty-five? Twenty-six? That clock isn’t winding down for a long time,” he gaped at you, and you shrugged before taking another bite of your dinner. It was cold hard truth you’d basically accepted.

“Doesn’t change the fact it’s there and it comes up, you know? You can have kids till you’re old enough to worry about breaking a hip getting it on… us women are on a time limit and the world won’t let us forget it,” you continued, and while Chris flushed slightly at your slightly crude explanation he nodded understandingly. 

“Hey… so don’t murder me on sight for this… but…” he suddenly perked up, and you had a bad feeling in your gut he was going to propose some kind of crazy ass scheme. He always got that look on his face when one came to mind, like crazy maniacal bad guy expression and then one eyebrow raised up and he got that devilish grin… and you knew you were in trouble.

“Chris…” 

“Why don’t we fake-date each other? Just for our parents?” he asked, and you felt your jaw drop as you stared at him, waiting for the punch line to his joke even though you had a damn good idea that it wasn’t coming. This was beyond ridiculous, this was the kind of shit that you and your friends laughed about celebrities being crazy and dating each other for PR… and now it was being suggested to you by the man who’d become one of your closest friends. But it wasn’t for the publicity; it was for your parents. Well, more so his parents than yours, but after splitting from someone who everybody had thought you’d marry – yourself included – you had to admit your parents were getting a little overbearing about the whole ‘getting back on the horse’ thing. 

“You’re absolutely insane, Chris,” you shot it down, but he obviously was thinking hard on it. 

“Just hear me out! Okay, so obviously not right now – way too early, even to fake date someone,” he managed a bit of a sad grin, before he concealed it and continued. It was a slightly painful reminder for both of you exactly what kind of emotional state he was in, even though he covered it well. “Then it’s just slipped into conversation, oh hey I’m going on a date with someone next weekend, oh I’m going to a movie with someone… etcetera etcetera. Maybe a mysterious picture on Instagram or Facebook or something – mine is super private, yours is too right?” 

A short nod was all you could manage as you listened to the evil genius mind of Chris Evans seated in front of you. 

“Enough to get our parents intrigued, start asking a few questions here and there, but we tell them we’re keeping things really hush-hush. That we work together and want to see where things go privately without worrying about media or people in our faces or telling us that we’re a PR stunt for the movie, you know. And I don’t know about you, but after this relationship blow up I don’t want to be worrying about dating for a long time, so then when you move to LA – admit it, you’re probably going to have to for all of this mess – you can move in with me. Saves you a shit ton of rent money and freaking out, I have like five extra bedrooms so you can take your pick, we just tell our parents things are getting more serious, and then whenever we decide we’re ready to get back into the game we split. The whole ‘we think we’re better as friends… we’re so close but we don’t think we’re the marrying and having kids relationship’ kind of idea. Not a bad plan, is it?” he asked, sitting back in his chair, eyes bright as he waited for you to answer. 

There were algebraic equations studied in engineering that seemed less daunting and complicated than what Chris had just suggested to you. It was ridiculous, it was beyond outlandish; your parents and friends would never in a million years let you live it down if word of it ever got out. Hell, even you were embarrassed about the idea of fake dating your best guy friend, even if it was a desperate attempt to get the parents off of both of your backs. 

But the worst part of all of this? The more you thought about it, the slightly more appealing the idea got. It made you crazy, absolutely certifiably insane to even be considering going along with this, but you couldn’t deny the tiny part of you that thought maybe Chris wasn’t so out to lunch as you’d thought. 

“Oh my God, you’re thinking about it,” he sounded surprised, maybe even shocked, but you could tell he was nearly radiating with excitement. 

“Maybe… but Chris, it’s insane, it’s…” 

“It’s not a bad idea, really,” he insisted. “It solves like all of our problems for the immediate future and as long as we want it to, Claire! You don’t have to worry about your parents, and you have as much time as you want to do the things you want. I can finally get my parents off my back about finding a nice girl to settle down with for now, especially if we’re in one of those call each other pet names and sit at home every weekend watching Netflix kind of relationships – which is basically how we hang out anyway. Then it solves any potential housing issues for you in LA; even if you have to come down for media you can just crash at my place and our parents can make whatever assumptions they want about it. Claire it’s practically foolproof.” 

“Oh my God Chris… I can’t believe I’m even _considering_ this right now,” Your dropped your head into your hands, knowing all too well that Chris was wearing a shit eating grin, knowing that he had you on the ropes. The fact you were even thinking about what he said told him more than you would care to. 

“Ah? Ah? Give it another month or so… then I’ll take you out to dinner and you can tell your bestie all about it,” you raised your head just enough to see him, and Chris shot you a wink before sitting back in his chair. “You said that Annie and your mom gossip about your dating life all the time, right? Set the ball in motion.” 

“My god Chris… we’re insane, it’s official,” you sighed, and Chris let out a whoop before standing up and then physically pulling you out of your chair and lifting you up, spinning around before very gently setting you back on your feet. 

“It’s not insane if it works,” he corrected you, and you managed a small smile for his crazy ass before you began puttering around cleaning up the kitchen for something to do. Your brain needed a simple task to complete while you tried to comprehend what the hell you’d just agreed to. 

“Here, let me help. You did most of the hard work making supper,” Chris stepped in, taking the plates from your hand before shooing you toward your couch. It surprised you, to be honest, because in the two months you’d known him – first through texting and emailing and then phone calls before both of you had come down to Atlanta – you’d learned he despised doing the dishes. But it was nice; to cook a meal and not have to clean it up, to put your feet up and finish your beer while you heard Chris tinkering around in the kitchen to your right. 

“There,” you heard the dishwasher start before Chris was settling onto the couch beside you, grabbing the remote and kicking his socked feet up onto the coffee table. Such a boy. 

A quick nudge from your feet had him put his feet back down, even though he pouted a little, and he flicked through movie options on Netflix. He hovered for a few moments over a few of them, before taking a slow breath and then moving past it. You knew what had transpired; movies that for whatever reason made him think of his very-recent ex, and you leaned your head on his shoulder, so he knew that you understood. His arm soon worked its’ way around your shoulder while you looked through options. 

“Just for being such a sweetheart and doing the dishes… I’ll tell you a secret,” you piped up, and he raised an eyebrow at you while looking at you from the corner of his eye, finger frozen just above the scroll button on the remote. 

“Do tell,” 

“There’s ice cream in the freezer,” you stage-whispered, and were nearly knocked off the couch by Chris jumping up and running for it. 

Once he was re-situated on the couch – the tub of ice cream between you with two spoons, because who needed to dirty bowls when the dishwasher was already running, he resumed his search of Netflix, but it seemed the longer he looked the lower his mood got, until you were rubbing his arm and it was mostly Chris eating the ice cream while you tried to unobtrusively soothe him. You’d felt the change in the atmosphere around the two of you, on top of watching the line between his brows deepen, his mouth turn down and his shoulders slump further into the couch. It pulled at your heart, watching the usually very happy Chris sink into this.

“Is… Can I…” he mumbled softly under his breath, and you squeezed Chris tighter before looking up at him. His gaze was carefully trained on the television screen, his face arranged into a pretty blank expression in an attempt to protect himself, even if he couldn’t erase the line between his brows.

“Of course you can, Chris,” you answered, and felt him relax slightly against your side. He hated asking if he could stay at your place, hated feeling like he was weak and couldn’t manage on his own, but you understood. It was shitty to feel all alone after a relationship ended the way his had; not only had he been dumped out of the blue he’d been cheated on and now his ex was parading around some other guy, it seemed, very specifically for Chris to see and hurt over. You would do whatever it took to make sure he was okay. If that meant watching kids cartoons and falling asleep with him on your couch that was fine, if it meant waking up in the middle of the night when you heard Chris trying to keep the tears at bay, and crawling into his bed to hold him while the tears fell you’d do that too. Just the same way he’d come running to your apartment the night that Kyle had tried calling you five times and then resorted to texting you a menagerie of awful and hurtful things and you’d been in a teary panic attack; he’d burst in without question and had held you and murmured reassurances to you before carrying you back to his apartment and curling around you in his bed to make sure you were safe. 

“You’re the best… wifey,” he smirked softly, but cuddled in closer to you and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as well.


	3. Chapter 3

“All right; left, right, uppercut…” you mindlessly went through the combination, having memorized it thanks to Chris spending a few hours with you the day before going through the choreography. He struggled a bit more with finding timing than you did, but if there was music playing in the background it was like the two of you became entranced; you’d both grown up dancing and it felt like second nature to move to the music. Everybody on the crew liked to tease you about it, but they had to admit it looked pretty cool played out the way they practiced. 

“Good, good – you and Chris have been working on the choreography?” Mark asked, and you nodded with a grin before emptying your water bottle. He rolled his shoulders in a move to loosen up the muscles, seeing as the two of you had been working for nearly forty-five minutes already, and you did the same, shoulders too tight to relax from the small movement. 

“Yeah, he’s been helping me out,” you agreed and then sat down on the mat with him to start stretching out. Jeremy had also been helping you with some fight choreography, having also been an experienced hand at it, and you were glad for all of the help that everyone was more than willing to extend. The two of you had ran lines as well, which had you feeling a bit more comfortable. 

“Hey, finished up already?” speaking of the devil, he appeared, Chris and Lizzie in tow from one of the other studio spots, and you gave a small wave before reaching and wrapping your fingers around your foot as you stretched toward it. He and Chris shook their heads, already grumbling under their breath about your flexibility while they made their way closer. Mark simply laughed and shrugged it off, naming your dancing history as reason for the ‘extraordinary’ flexibility you had; and while you’d never mention it to any of them you really didn’t feel as flexible as you had when you were dancing regularly. 

“Just about; just need to finish stretching,” you allowed, and Lizzie nodded while Chris rolled his eyes. 

“If you stretch any further you’re going to turn into rubber,” he teased, while Lizzie swatted at him before joining you on the mat. She was dressed comfortably in a loose, light sweater and leggings, and soon was doing the same stretches, as she was a dancer as well. The guys just stood around and grumped good-naturedly while you finished up, and with a laugh the two of you stood. You’d gone to a barre class together last week and were planning on trying to attend a few others while shooting took place.

“Well could be worse,” you allowed, and Chris slung an arm easily around your shoulders as the four of you began making your way out to the parking lot, seeing as everyone was done for the day. Chris had promised cold drinks on a nice patio somewhere downtown, and you couldn’t get there fast enough. Lizzie and Jeremy looked like they were in the same boat. 

“That is true,” Jeremy allowed, before raising an eyebrow at Chris’s arm around your shoulders. You simply shrugged it off, knowing he wouldn’t make a big deal about it if you didn’t give him anything to go off of. However, if he saw you do so much as blush he would start needling away at you with a grin, trying to get a response. 

“So, is this whole cool drinks on a patio thing still happening? I could use a cool drink on a patio,” you piped up, making Chris laugh, his hand over his chest as his head tipped back. 

“One track mind, eh Claire?” he asked, and you rolled your eyes before hip checking him while you walked. Chris hardly stumbled, taking the check in stride as all of you headed toward the vehicles. You and Chris had both drove, which was normal, while Lizzie and Jeremy tended to Uber or cab in and not deal with the traffic themselves. On odd occasions you would cab as well; if there was a big event in the city and you knew traffic would be too overwhelming or something to that extent, then if Chris didn’t offer you a ride you would find other means of transportation.

“I call hopping in with Claire!” Lizzie chirped as soon as the vehicles were in sight, and bolted from between Chris and Jeremy to the passenger door of the vehicle you had rented. Jeremy let out a groan before sheepishly looking over at Chris who was giving them the hurt puppy-dog expression. 

“Sorry man, but you’re a little… scary, to drive with,” he explained, and Chris’s expression only worsened. “It’s just… you drive like you’re on set for Fast and Furious… only without any trained drivers or a closed course and that scares the shit out of me.” 

Chris could only sputter and flounder for some kind of response but was coming up short. You remained standing beside him, hand on his back while his arm was across your shoulders, trying to hide your smile. 

“I am _not_ that bad,” he finally insisted, and Jeremy simply crossed his arms and gave Chris the dad look. When you could tell he was getting ready to slowly explain something the same way he would to his little girl. 

“Chris, be honest with yourself… you like to ignore speed limits and use the e-break when it isn’t necessary,” Jeremy started, and Chris let out a whine. 

“I’m not that bad! I like to have fun; sue me,” he grumped, and then headed toward his rented car, making you chuckle to yourself as you unlocked the vehicle and Lizzie hopped in, immediately adjusting the stereo as you were getting in. You immediately handed over your phone, knowing she’d find something interesting to listen to even though it was only about a ten-minute drive back to the apartment complex. 

“So… you and Chris are pretty touchy-feely lately,” she grinned, making your face turn bright red. You’d noticed the odd thing here and there – but then again Chris was a very physical person as it was, so you hadn’t thought much about it.

“We’re just friends – you know that,” you insisted, but she snorted as she leaned the chair back slightly, stretching out her legs and putting her feet on the dash. Everything in your body was screaming at you to say something but it really wasn’t your car in the first place. As if she’d read your mind, she gave you a guilty grin and put her feet back down, even though she was keeping her knees up against her chest. 

“Looks like a little more than just friends,” she sing-songed, and you groaned. 

“We’re just really close, okay? There’s nothing more to it than that,” you giggled, and while she was giving you a piercing look she finally appeared to relent. 

“I think you two would be adorable,” she decided, and you let out a small huff as you rolled your eyes, shoulder checking and changing into the exit lane. Traffic was already slowing down from the day’s rush hour, thank God, and Chris had long since passed you, Jeremy giving you an exaggerated scared face out the passenger window as they went by.

“I think you should re-evaluate,” you teased, and she laughed before scoffing at you, turning in her seat to look at you better.

“Come on; you gotta admit the two of you look pretty cute together, and you’re both the biggest Disney nerds I’ve ever seen… good height ratio… and it’s obvious he thinks the world of you,” she explained, and you shot her a look while keeping your eyes mostly trained on the road in front of you. 

“Seems like you’ve put a lot of thought into it,” 

“Well, you can’t blame me! Both of you deserve someone wonderful after everything you’ve been through. Then seeing the two of you together? I’m not the only one thinking about it Claire – lots of people seem to be speculating about the two of you. And you hang out so much off set too… I mean, really,” she shrugged her shoulders, leaning back while you gaped at her and nearly missed your exit. 

“What? People are talking about us?” 

“I’d ignore it – people were talking about me and Chris last movie and there was nothing for them to go on at all. You just have to ignore it and go about your life. Dwelling on it gets you nowhere,” she informed you with sage-like wisdom, leaving you to mull things over in your head the remainder of the short drive. 

“Sorry if I stuck a bunch of things in your head – you know that’s not what I meant to do, right?” Lizzie’s hand was soft on your arm before you got out of the car, and you nodded, giving her a smile. You knew Lizzie meant the best; teasing you about how ‘cute’ you and Chris were together but wanting to keep things light about it to get a laugh out of you. Sometimes she forgot you truly weren’t used to this whole ‘movie business’ thing.

“I know you mean the best, Liz. Just a lot to process,” you admitted, and she nodded before giving your arm a soft squeeze. 

“Always is. And hey, Chris’ll make sure you’re taken care of. If people started talking or saying things he’ll shut it down. He’s a sweet guy,” she reassured you, before adjusting her hair and grabbing her shoulder bag from the backseat. You rolled your eyes and changed the subject and the two of you spent the walk up the stairs to Lizzie’s apartment talking about wardrobe that was coming up for both of you. There was some concept art for your character already, which you’d been shown, and it had you a little bit worried. Your character, Alessandra, was a kick-ass soldier type, and yet she seemed to be showing off quite a bit of skin in the concept art for the comic. Which wasn’t necessarily bad, but it didn’t seem necessary for her to be overtly sexual in order to be feminine with her backstory. 

“Did you see me in Cap 3? I swear my boobs just about hit me in the face running in the airport scene!” Lizzie complained, making you bust a gut as she unlocked her apartment and walked in with you on her heels. “It can’t be worse than that!” 

“Uh, Lizzie?” you reminded her, and she doubled over laughing when she realized what you didn’t need to say out loud. You were built a little curvier than Lizzie was, and it only took her an instant to realize the issue. 

“Oh my god, yours would have hit you in the face!” she teased, and soon you were both giggling and laughing before you got identical texts from Chris that you’d both better be ready to go in forty minutes or he and Jeremy were going without you. 

“Okay – see you right away! We meeting at Chris’s?” you asked as you re-shouldered your bag and headed out the door. 

“I think so!” Lizzie replied, already heading toward her bedroom to get ready. You were only a floor above her, so it only took a minute or two to get up to your apartment from hers. Piling your hair on top of your head you stepped in for a quick shower to wash away the worst of the sweat and heat from the day, keeping your hair dry. Some dry shampoo would make it passable for a messy ponytail suitable for some drinks outside. A pair of cutoffs and a flowing tank top completed the look; some mascara and lip color thrown on just so you felt a little more put together. If there was any plus outside of all the amazing-ness that was getting to be part of Marvel, it was the fact that you felt like you were in the best shape of your life, and you felt like your clothes wore a lot better with the changes. 

“Ay! Ready to go McAdams?” Chris called into your apartment, poking his head in from the hallway. You nodded, grabbing your purse while putting a hand on Chris’s shoulder to use him to steady yourself while you slid into a pair of wedges. He patiently stood still as you did so, while Jeremy chuckled to himself from behind the two of you. 

“There, now I am. Lizzie here yet?” you asked, and both men shook their heads. 

“Here!” you could hear her voice ringing down the hall from the stairwell and the three of you couldn’t help but laugh as she soon appeared in the doorway, looking slightly out of breath. 

“When I said forty minutes there was a little wiggle room,” Chris informed her, his arm comfortably moving across your shoulders as she straightened her romper, dressed perfectly for summer in strappy sandals and beach waves in her hair. Lizzie always looked flawless and you were still trying to figure out how she did it.

Thirty minutes later found the four of you relaxing on a rooftop patio, laughing at one of Jeremy’s latest stories of his daughter’s exploits. She was his little princess, that much you knew. She was always busy as a bee, finding new ways to entertain her dad and keep him on his toes, and she was adorable doing so. Jeremy just finished telling a story about her last tea party when there was an adorable, awkward cough approaching the table. 

“Hi… I’m sorry to bother you… but you’re Captain America and Hawkeye, right?” a girl, who couldn’t have been older than fifteen, asked, and Chris and Jeremy both immediately had winning smiles on their faces as they immediately tried to put her at ease. She absolutely loved the Captain America films, she told Chris, and that he was her favorite Avenger. Jeremy teased her about it; going on about how much cooler Hawkeye was to get her to laugh while Chris autographed a picture for her and then took a selfie with her before she asked Jeremy to do the same. It was then that she seemed to notice yourself and Elizabeth, and it took her a second to recognize Lizzie and gush about her in the Avengers, but then her attention turned to you, and it was obvious she had no idea how to place you. 

As if he’d done it all his life – seeing as how Marvel hadn’t really even began to tease about you being present in the film, let alone the fact that your character was new to the Universe, Chris flung his arm around your shoulders again and shot the girl – Jen – a winning smile.

“This is Claire; I met her when she was in Rent last year. Me and a couple of friends went to the show and she was just wonderful, I got the chance to say hi and we’ve been great friends since. She’s out here working on a project so we managed to wrangle her out for an evening,” Chris answered smoothly, and you nodded quickly to agree with him. 

“Hard to say no to these three,” you teased, and soon had everyone laughing and it was obvious that Jen didn’t have so much as a question for you about why else you could possibly be in Atlanta, and Chris had managed to steer the conversation away quickly before she excused herself and thanked him and Jeremy once again for the pictures and autographs. 

“So, Rent?” Jeremy asked, and both you and Chris nodded. 

“Yeah, I managed to accidentally walk into an audition three years ago and they took me,” you nodded, grinning fondly at the memory. “I felt like such a dumbass, stumbling into the studio room they were using and then realizing what had happened. But they asked me if I’d still wanted to audition and then they gave me the part of Maureen. I was in the production for a little over two years and it was amazing,” you explained. Jeremy nodded appreciatively and Lizzie was immediately asking questions about the production and how it had been. 

Two hours passed talking about past projects and experiences working on them; Chris told them about some of his college drama experiences, Jeremy about some of his first movie projects, and Lizzie about taking drama at University in New York and then abroad in Moscow, until the wait staff politely informed them that the restaurant was set to close in twenty minutes. The two of you paid – even though Chris and Jeremy fought over paying the entirety of the bill while you and Lizzie managed to sneak away and split it during their argument. The look on Chris’s face when he realized what you girls had done was priceless, and you had the presence of mind to snap a picture of it and post it to Instagram with a goofy caption before you made your way back out to his car and everybody piled in. Chris and Jeremy occupied the front seats – having the longest legs anyway, and you and Lizzie continued browsing cute shoes on her phone while they talked about football for the drive back. 

“See you guys tomorrow!” Chris waved as Jeremy and Lizzie both got off the elevator at their floor, and the two of you continued up to your own floor. 

“So, had fun tonight?” he asked, leaning on your doorway before letting himself in as you slid the wedges off and collapsed onto the couch, sprawling in a very un-lady like fashion and looking over at him. Two seconds later Chris toed his shoes off and then all but fell into your armchair. 

“Yeah, it was lots of fun tonight,” you smiled over at him and he chuckled before nodding, running his hands through his hair and smiling. 

“It was good! I knew that you had nothing to worry about; everyone’s great on these movies,” it was just short of an ‘I told you so’ but you let it slide instead. Chris always meant well. 

“Yeah, yeah, you did,” you pushed on his huge bicep lightheartedly, making him play like he was wounded over it but instead you both ended up laughing over it anyway. He stayed long enough to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother, before Chris was snoring softly in the chair. 

“C’mon… Chris. Chris, wake up,” you whispered, and he let out a mangled sound before curling up on himself in the chair and continued snoring a moment later. You let out a whine and shook his shoulder again. 

“No… come on Chris,” 

“I don’t want to move,” he whined against the side of the chair, and you managed to half ass haul him up. 

“Come on, you can sleep here,” you sighed, and he let out another throaty noise. You got him onto the couch, and tucked a blanket in around him before heading back to your room. After getting a second pillow you carefully slid it under Chris’s head, hearing his content little noises as he snuggled into the couch and that was where you left him before changing into your pajamas and then going about your nightly routine. Brushing your teeth and taking off the little makeup you’d put on, then crawling into your bed and making yourself comfortable, glad to be able to change the alarm so you were able to sleep in an extra three hours. 

You weren’t sure how long it had been but you froze when you realized that your bedroom door opened and closed again. Heart pounding in your chest, immediately wide awake you laid there, wondering if somebody had broken into your apartment and whether they were going to murder you or not. Being frightfully aware of the fact that all that separated you from an intruder was a thin sheet, a cotton tank top and pair of pajama shorts. Instead of being attacked, however, the murderer shuffled around your room for a second before the other side of your bed dipped down. Right when you were about to scream, strong arms wrapped around your waist and you got a strong whiff of Chris’s cologne, and then the bristles of his scruff were on your shoulder as he cuddled up against your back. 

“Chris,” you sighed, feeling the adrenaline still pumping through your system at the scare he gave you. 

“Sorry. Need to cuddle,” he mumbled against your back, and then you felt him pull you back against him completely, so his chest was pressed to your back. You relaxed back into him for a second, before realizing that something was just a bit off.

“DID YOU TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF?” you gasped, sitting straight up and moving away from him; after blinking hard at you a few times he nodded. Chris looked confused, like he couldn’t figure out why you were freaking out at him for having crawled into your bed uninvited without his pants on. No shirt, you could handle, but as close as the two of you were him crawling in with no pants was pushing it.

“Can’t sleep in jeans…” he yawned, before grabbing at you to pull you back in close. “Still got boxers on…” 

“Jesus Chris,” you shook your head, but let him pull you back down to the bed and cuddle up to you, this time he slung his leg over yours so you couldn’t go anywhere. 

“You love me,” he mumbled, and then kissed your shoulder before he was snoring yet again. 

“Goofball,”


	4. Chapter 4

“Dinner? Tonight?” Chris called to you as your stunt coordinator was working to hook you up to the harness that would help you become airborne to begin working on a new stunt that would take place with Scarlet Witch. It made you nervous, but the crew were so talented and Chris and Lizzie had reassured you time and time again that you’d be fine and you would do great and so you were doing your best to swallow your anxiety about being fifteen feet in the air. But you were the one who insisted on doing as much of your stunts as was physically possible, so there wasn’t any room to complain or wimp out. 

“Sure… if I don’t fall and break my neck, Evans,” you called over to him, doing your best to sound cocky, but knew the shake in your voice had snuck out. The look on Chris’s face told you so, and he gestured to the stunt crew to give you guys a minute as he walked over, still in his gym shorts and an under armor shirt from his own stunt work practice. He was a seasoned pro at this sort of thing.

“Hey, hey… doing okay?” he asked, and you swallowed hard, wrapping your arms around your middle. You were similarly dressed; wearing gym shorts and a tank top over a sports bra so you had full range of motion to go through the stunt work with. You would do more pre-runs through all the stunts with the actual costumes on, but this was just to get used to the actual effects and gear.

“I’m just being stupid,” you grumbled, but Chris shook his head and tipped your chin up in his huge hands. 

“No you’re not, you’re anxious with every reason to be, okay? If you have any questions or need any reassurances these guys are the best of the best,” he softly told you, and you nodded, trying to lose yourself in his blue green eyes. Chris had been through all of this countless times before, he knew the ins and outs of it and he wouldn’t feed you bullshit just to get you to do a stunt. If he were even slightly concerned for your wellbeing he’d tell you to back out and have the stunt double do it. So instead you stared at his face and tried to match your breathing to his in an attempt to settle down your racing heart. 

“Okay,” your voice was small, and Chris pulled you in for a quick hug, patting your back and then giving you a soft smile. 

“You can do it, okay? I’ll hang out until you’re done, be your emotional support,” he decided, instead of leaving to go shower and get ready he made himself comfortable on one of the large, thick foam mats that he and his stunt man had been using earlier in the day for some floor work. Phone in hand, he gave you another grin and a thumbs up as Mark came back over and continued walking you through the harness and attachments they’d be using to lift you onto the cables. Once you felt comfortable enough with that, Gina and Andrew came over to walk you through the stunt a few more times before you would be hoisted into the air. With a death grip on the cables attached to both sides they slowly lifted you off of the floor, and once you could sense that you were no longer moving you heard some clapping and cheering from below. 

Cracking one eye open you saw Chris making an ass of himself cheering you on as if you’d just finished a marathon, and you found enough nerve to stick your tongue out at him before opening the other eye and taking in your surroundings. This set room was all but empty; just your team and Chris left in it. All of the other cast had been filtering in over the past four weeks, starting to work with their stunt doubles and teams and beginning to really get into the grind of fight choreography. So far you’d really only been introduced to Lizzie, Scarlett (who you already had the pleasure of knowing through Chris) and Jeremy Renner, while it seemed that most of the other cast would be showing up over the next two weeks. Sebastian Stan was wrapping up a different project in Vancouver, Robert Downey Jr. was apparently organizing moving his entire estate, cats included, to Atlanta (which somehow didn’t seem as surprising to everyone else as it was you), Anthony Mackie had run into a minor family emergency and was just taking the time to be with his family and his sick baby. Technically filming didn’t start for another month and a half anyway, but it seemed odd to have such a mish-mash of people here and away all the same. It felt like you’d already been here forever, even though it really was only a couple of months. 

“Shut up, Chris!” you giggled, and saw his smile even from this far away. Soon you were too preoccupied with going through the movements and instructions that you were being given from Gina and Andrew, with plenty of encouragement from both of them as well as Chris, and before you knew it the forty minutes of scheduled training was up and they were lowering you back down to the ground. It was almost like a high, the way your face was flushed and your heart was pounding as your feet touched down again, even though your hips and abs were aching from the harness and having to keep yourself upright you were excited. 

“Hey! Atta girl! How you feeling now?” Chris asked as he gracefully lifted himself up from the mat and high-fived you as Mark unhooked you from all of the equipment. 

“That was so cool! I was scared shitless to go up but once I was up there it was super exciting!” you gushed, and felt your face blushing harder as you babbled on about it. Gina, Andrew and Mark were all more than understanding, having coached so many of the Marvel actors through the same thing, and Chris was eagerly listening to all of the nonsense you were spewing. Once you were finished he pulled you into a one-armed hug and waved to the crew who were packing up while gently steering you in the direction of your gym bag and the door. 

“God I can’t wait to do that again next week,” you finally got it out of your system, before trying to awkwardly stretch your legs as you attempted to keep pace with Chris’s considerably longer legs. While five foot seven was a good achievement for height in your family, it was nothing compared to his six foot two. When Chris remembered he would shorten his pace for you, but usually if he was excited or thinking about something he forgot and you were left to do an awkward speed walk thing along after him. 

“Okay, I’ll drive you back to the apartment and you can get ready,” Chris announced, shouldering your gym bag for you before you even had a chance to get close enough to grab it. 

“Get ready?” 

“I am taking you out to dinner, remember?” he winked, and you resisted the urge to groan at him. If he’d never come up with this stupid fake-dating idea life would have been easier, especially considering all that had conspired in the month since. His ex Ashley was very publicly flaunting some (according to Chris) C-list actor around and making sure paparazzi was around to catch their every outing, making sure Chris didn’t miss a thing, which had led to him working out harder to allow himself more cheat food as his mood dipped. You’d been doing your best to help him out, but there was only so much you physically could do. Then Kyle, your ‘lovely’ ex, had been trying to contact you to no ends, to the point where blocking his number and deleting him from everything was no longer enough. You were seriously considering a new phone number altogether, and if it wouldn’t have been for the hassle of doing so would have already changed it. So you and Chris had been trading off nights of all but crying into a sappy rom-com movie for nights when you both went to the gym and ranted and worked out your anger and while it had brought you closer together, definitely, it also made Chris want to throw his fake-dating plan into action. Because his parents were seeing all of his ex’s escapades and asking him questions he didn’t want to field about being single and how he was, etcetera, and your parents were all but relentless (because darling you aren’t even trying to find yourself a nice boy). 

“I didn’t realize it was a dress up affair… I don’t really have anything here for that,” you worried your lip for a moment before Chris gently flicked your nose, his way of getting you to quit biting your lip before you chapped it beyond recognition or tore the skin enough to bleed. 

“Not a dress up fancy kind of affair, do you have any sundresses?” he asked, and you thought on it hard for a moment before remembering the little navy and white patterned dress your friend Anne had made you pack along, nodding at Chris and relaying the information to him. 

“Great; something like that and some cute sandals. Now, we have two hours until the reservation and it’s gonna take twenty minutes to get there… you’ll have to hop to it,” he grinned as he held open the passenger door for you before closing it gently. After depositing your gym bag onto the back seat – alongside his own – he got in and with a turn of the key brought the sports car to life while you buckled your seatbelt. You’d seen Chris drive… it could be frightening at times to say the least. You’d witnessed his driving firsthand more times than most of the cast who were present already for pre-production. 

“I don’t know Chris… that’s cutting it close,” you teased, and he shot you a look before putting on his sunglasses and putting the car into gear. 

“Well if you look like a half put together ragamuffin that’s on you,” he allowed, and both of you were laughing as he turned onto the asphalt that would take the two of you to the apartment building. 

“Just remember you’re the one taking me out,” you shot back, and both of you continued to laugh and chuckle as he turned on the radio.

This you could get used to; the Atlanta heat made bearable thanks to the air conditioning in the car, the window rolled down and the warmth of the sun on your skin. While there wasn’t much for a view where you were driving along now, Chris had promised to try and tourist you around a little bit while you all were here to help make things a bit more bearable. Usually the cast tried to go out together, but he’d admitted that nine times out of ten it was the guys who went out and drank together while everybody else went home to families or that sort of thing. The usual crowd was himself, Jeremy, Anthony and Sebastian, with other cast switching out here and there to join in. Lizzie had only gone out twice with them for the last movie, deciding it was far too testosterone filled of an event to continue with, even though they’d all behaved acceptably according to Chris. So he’d made sure to promise that you would get to see whatever Atlanta had to offer that wouldn’t cause Marvel fan-induced riots. 

“See, it’s not all so bad,” he teased, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you leaned back in your seat to pull your knees to your chest. A habit developed on long road trips with your dad for dance competitions as a kid as you watched scenery pass. 

“No, it’s actually really nice here,” you agreed, and Chris patted his hand on your knee for a moment before hesitantly letting it rest there. You didn’t think twice about it, just shot him a small smile before flipping the sun visor down, wishing you’d remembered to bring your sunglasses along. The day after tomorrow both of you had a rare day off, and you’d put your foot down, insisting all you wanted to do was sit beside a pool and suntan, and while Chris had pouted, wanting to do more exciting things, you knew he’d choose company over task. He was too social of a person to do otherwise. 

“Okay, countdown is on!” he called as you slipped into your apartment. A shower was definitely necessary, and after a hesitation you decided to say fuck it and plug in the curling iron. If you were actually going along with Chris’s plan may as well do it right; he was going to be knocked off his feet with the effort you put in. Not the results – because to be honest hair and makeup were not your strengths – but the effort would be noticeable. 

A fifteen minute shower had you feeling human and made sure your legs were smooth, because it was a pet peeve your mother had passed on through habit to you, before quickly blow drying your hair and then standing staring at the closet in your underwear trying to figure out where the hell you’d put that dress after you’d arrived. It took ten minutes to unearth the sun dress and then find a pair of shoes that would look reasonable with it, and you couldn’t help but grimace when you realized even that small exertion in this heat had your face flushed and some sweat on your brow. 

You took a lot of time and care in curling your long, dark brown hair, making sure it looked beachy and soft but still sophisticated enough to go somewhere nice. It took some precision – and a small burn on your thumb – to get your bangs to swoop back in an almost ‘50’s style that kind of completed the sophisticated edge it needed, and a small pin kept them in place with some spray. Makeup was simple; skipping foundation completely because of the heat and humidity, you went for soft brown tones on your eyelids, a dark cat eye liner, and then the debate between red lipstick or a nude tone was on while you carefully got into the dress and the heels. Which would have gone smoother if you’d been able to zip it up in the back yourself. 

“Claire? Ready to go?” Chris’s voice echoed its’ way into the bathroom where you were attempting to contort yourself enough to get at the zipper. 

“Just… about…” you replied, and soon heard his footsteps coming toward the door, hesitating and stopping just before it so he couldn’t see in. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Ugh… I need your help, please?” you asked, and pushed the door open wider with a heeled foot. Upon seeing the shoes he walked into the doorway, and you caught his bright eyes widening as he took in the expanse of skin exposed at your back. You were blushing again, before letting out a whine. “Zip me up, please?” 

“Right, right. Sorry – caught me off guard,” he apologized and you felt his large hands take the zipper from your fingers as gently as was humanely possible, and with the same care and attention he pulled the zipper up and did the clasp at the top. 

“Thanks Chris,” 

“Of course. You look gorgeous, by the way,” he answered with a soft smile, making you blush even more, if it were humanely possible. 

“Just one last problem,” 

“Okay…?” 

“Red lipstick or a nude one?” you asked, holding up the two offending tubes of makeup. Chris’s eyes darted between the colors and your face for a few moments, before he picked the nude one from your fingers and held it out to you. 

“As sexy as red lipstick is, I think we’re going for a little more understated,” he told you with his lip pulled up on one side in a bit of a smirk. You echoed his grin and quickly applied it, making sure there was no color on your teeth before announcing you were ready to go. 

Chris was dressed simply, in charcoal grey slacks and a dark blue three quarter sleeve button up, the top few buttons of his collar undone and revealing the top of a white tank undershirt. Classy and understated yet still sophisticated, which was what you were hoping to achieve with your own look for the evening. 

In the silver heels you were sporting you reached an impressive five foot eleven, and were just shorter than Chris, able to take the arm he offered with ease and keep stride with him as you collected your phone and clutch, slipping the tube of lipstick in it and then checking that all the lights were turned off and that the curling iron was unplugged. With that you locked up and let Chris lead you down to his car, again helping you into the passenger seat before getting in himself. Thankfully, your sunglasses hadn’t been forgotten and you slid them on, smiling when you realized Chris had done the same. 

“Ready to be blown away?” he asked, and you laughed out loud this time as you shrugged and looked at him. 

“I haven’t set my expectations too high so I’m sure you’ll do okay,” you teased, and he groaned before taking off into the city. The sky was just beginning to show hues of oranges and purples as the evening progressed, and you couldn’t help but marvel at the lights of Atlanta and the skyline poised against the colors. It looked like something – ironically enough – out of a movie. 

Chris pulled up in front of a fancy looking restaurant, the kind where a valet was standing outside ready to take the keys and park the car for you, and chivalrously helped you out of the vehicle, keeping your arm tucked in against his elbow as he received the ticket for his car and the two of you made your way inside. It was obvious he’d been recognized when he’d made the reservation; the hostess was quick to jump up and assist the two of you, a wide smile insisting that you looked absolutely stunning and that they’d reserved a table with a gorgeous view of the city but out of the way so the two of you could enjoy some privacy. Chris kept his megawatt smile on and nodded and ‘yes’ and ‘thank you’-d as many times as was necessary until the two of you were seated in an adorable little corner booth with – as promised – a view of the Atlanta skyline. 

“Wow, not bad Evans,” you grinned as you picked up the drink menu placed between the two of you. He puffed up his chest and pretended to adjust a tie before winking. 

“You can’t say Chris Evans doesn’t know how to show a lady a good time,” 

The evening was spectacular; Chris ordered a bottle of wine, you split some hors d’ouevres before indulging in a meal that mostly fit into both of your training diets while still being exciting and new. The conversation never dimmed, and the two of you laughed and told stories for several hours before deciding to split a small dessert to top it all off. You felt a little lightheaded, mostly from the wine and food, but in all honesty trying to recall the last time you’d had so much fun out on a date was difficult. And Chris was wonderful. 

“Well, M’lady, should we retire back to the apartments?” he asked after the waiter had brought the check and Chris had written his tip amount and signed the receipt, slipping his credit card into the billfold for the waiter to process before you could even argue. 

“I guess so, unless you had any more big plans,” you agreed, and Chris shrugged. 

“Well we could go dancing, but that might gain a lot of attention. And you look like you might be a little wobbly in those shoes,” he chuckled, and you feigned surprise before failing to keep your smile off of your face. 

“I’ll have you know I’ve been dancing since I could walk, Evans. And if it wasn’t for three glasses of wine I’d waltz you right out of here,” you snootily informed him, and Chris’s smile widened as he graciously thanked the waiter and slipped his card back into his wallet. 

“Well, next time I’ll hold out on the wine and we’ll go dancing instead,” his blue eyes showed greener as they seemed to almost sparkle in the light, and you took his hand to walk with him back out to the car. It would have been a picture perfect evening except for one small thing.

You heard the click of a shutter as Chris leaned to say something to you and you laughed, and realized exactly what had happened. Chris seemed oblivious, but then again you were giggling rather close to his ear. In an attempt not to bring down the mood you ignored it, but heard a second one as he helped you into your car, and as you buckled in you let out a long breath. 

This was all about to blow up in your face, and you knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to apologize now... I'm not going to be great at updating this story. I just find it so much more challenging to write this (cuz... you know... these are real people being written about and having a character created for them as opposed to writing a character... which is weird) and the past few weeks have been crazy and the next month or two will be the same. But I hope that's all right and I hope everyone reading is enjoying this so far! :)


	5. Chapter 5

“Claire, Claire I am so sorry, I…” Chris barged into your apartment, cell phone in hand and he was waving it around wildly as he babbled. You were frozen in the middle of your living room, halfway through putting a cover up on over your bikini as the two of you were going to meet in the car park to head to a pool to laze away your day off. 

“Chris? You all right?” 

“No. Yes. Sort of. I’m really sorry Claire,” he repeated, and you gently sat him down on the couch and pulled his phone out of his hand, seeing what the screen was open to. 

A TMZ article with pictures of the two of you leaving the restaurant covered the screen, both of you looking happy and perhaps a little intoxicated with each other. In the first one Chris was leaning in, speaking right to the shell of your ear, and a secretive smile was on your face, the second one both of you were laughing and his arm was wrapped around your waist, your hand on his stomach as you both kept your balance on your path out. They were good pictures, it was just the fact that they were splayed across a gossip website that was the problem. 

“It’s okay Chris… it’s not your fault,” you assured him, but got a stubborn face in reply. 

“Claire this wasn’t what either of us wanted, now we’re going to have to deal with all kind of media shit and I’ve already gotten a call from someone in the office at Marvel about it…” 

“What?” 

“It’ll be fine. It’s just… the fact that your character hasn’t been unveiled and so now there’s all kinds of speculation about who you are and who you’re playing that Marvel wasn’t ready to release and then they want to meet with us and go over all kinds of ‘contractual information’ which is basically going to be ‘if you’re going to date here’s what you can and can’t do’ shit and I’m so sorry for dragging you into this mess with my stupid idea,” he blurted it all out and collapsed back against the couch once he was finished, looking like a hundred pounds had just been pulled off of his shoulders. You quickly shrugged the rest of the way into the cover up and sat beside him, his chin in your grip as you turned him to face you. 

“Chris, relax. It’s fine, to be honest we should’ve seen something like this happening. You’re Chris Evans, after all,” you tried to joke, but he didn’t even hint at a smile. 

“But—”

“No buts. I agreed to your stupid idea too, remember? So we’ll just have to deal with it. You can tell them whatever you want; we just went to dinner as friends, that you were nice enough to show me around, or that you’d asked me out on a date and we don’t know if we are going to be dating or if we are dating or whatever. You know how all this stuff works, Chris. I trust you,” you made sure that your grey eyes were locked with his as you said it, and you could see him searching your face, looking for any hints that you were just trying to be reassuring and make him feel better as opposed to believing what you were saying. Once he’d realized you did in fact mean every word of it he relaxed even further and then pulled you into a hug. It was a fierce one, the kind of hug that told you he’d been pacing his apartment freaking out since the moment he saw the article and had been worrying about what you’d say or think.

“I’ll just tell them it was one date, we’re just feeling things out and go from there? If they want to talk to you about it I’ll try and intervene, they don’t need to be worrying you with all of their ridiculousness,” he mumbled against your hair, and you rubbed his back. Chris was such a thoughtful person, but sometimes he was too careful about those around him. 

“I can handle a meeting telling me I need to act like a mature professional if I go out on a date with you,” you giggled, and then rested your head against his. “It’ll be fine. Did your mom freak out yet?” 

“She must not have seen it yet. She tends to be old school; like if its on a magazine at the grocery store she’ll buy it and flip… this sort of stuff she doesn’t hear about unless it makes it onto TV or somebody tells her,” he chuckled, and you smiled, glad he was calming down. 

“Same here. So it’ll be fine,” you quickly brushed it off, hoping you could get his mind off of his anxieties about the situation so he would be able to enjoy his day off. The anxiety both of you suffered from could be overwhelming if allowed to take hold or spiral. 

“I can’t believe you aren’t freaking out over this,” he let out a long breath, staring up at you as you got up, ready to head to the pool to distract him from this whole mess. 

“I am a little on the inside. But Chris, like it or not we’re in it together… and I trust you. You’re one of my closest friends – weird as it is – and I know we’ll be okay,” you shrugged, and he sat for a moment looking like he was trying to process what you had just said, and then he ran a hand over his face, the new beginnings of a beard looking rough and scratchy beneath his fingers, before shaking his head. 

“You’re putting a lot of trust in me, Claire,” he sighed. 

“You’ve earned it,” was the simple answer to the question. Chris had been supportive, been a great friend whenever you’d needed him since meeting him, and had been just as open back. He’d let you in, trusted you with information as well, and that had spoken volumes about him in your opinion. If he was as trusting and giving to you as he wanted you to be, it meant he was willing to put himself out there for you before expecting or wanting you to do the same. It was a huge step and difference you hadn’t seen in a lot of people. 

“You’ve only known me a couple months…” 

“And you’ve only known me a couple months too, Chris. Time doesn’t measure connection,” you quoted, remembering it from your college days. “You give as much as you want to be given, and that says a lot to me. You don’t just expect trust in any amount without giving part of yourself to help work toward it and that means a lot. I’ve always felt safe with you or talking to you and I hope you feel the same with me.” 

“God Claire…” his voice was a little rough as he stood up and pulled you into a hug, arms locked tight around your back as he buried his face in your hair. It was grounding, and both of you recognized it. All you did was simply squeeze him back as tight as you dared to let him know you were there as well. It took a few minutes for both of you to calm down and push the worries away, but when you pulled away from the hug it was easy to see Chris was feeling better and had corralled the worries he’d came over with. 

“Some days I feel like I’ve known you all my life,” Chris told you, and your cheeks heated up a little as he walked into your kitchen and helped himself to a water bottle. “Its weird, like you said, that time doesn’t measure connection, but I get it. Completely.” 

“Sometimes I feel like maybe people are meant to encounter certain people, you know? Like we’re _supposed_ to have people in our lives for particular reasons… sometimes I feel like you’re one of those people for me,” he informed you, and you felt your heart flutter a little. It was such a heartfelt look into Chris as a person and how he was feeling and even more so what he thought about you. 

“Sometimes I feel like that’s right too,” you agreed, and put a hand on his back for a moment, before going back to gathering your things. It took a few moments for both of you to kind of snap out of it, and then headed down to the car park to head to the pool Chris had decided to visit. Apparently it would be quiet, whether that was coincidence, prior knowledge or if he’d made sure that the pool wouldn’t be very occupied ahead of time. Either way, you made sure that you were driving this time; it was less frightening that way. 

“Big big booty, but you got a big booty…” as soon as you pulled the cover up off you heard Chris singing behind you, making you roll your eyes and groan over at him. Should’ve known better than to wear a bikini around a goofball like him. Even if you did have a fairly well-sized behind, it didn’t mean he had to acknowledge it.

“Shut up, Captain Little-Ass,” you smirked back, and he pouted for an instant before turning around and striking a pose, sticking his hip out hard to the left in an attempt to bring emphasis to his butt in doing so. 

“I’ll have you know I did a lot of work on that for this movie. Not bad, eh?” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows at you while you laughed and began shuffling things around in your bag. 

“Not bad, but nothing on me sweetheart,” you teased back, and he fake-collapsed, walking toward you looking like a kicked puppy. 

“Nobody’s got a damn thing on your booty, Claire. Just so you know,” there was his cocky grin once again, and you rolled your eyes before settling yourself down on your lounge chair. Some of the stunt crew were going to come out, and Scarlett was going to bring her little girl to come play in the pool for a bit, but the first part of the afternoon was just the two of you. Chris must have booked the area because there wasn’t a single soul around aside from the staff, which was nice but strange at the same time. 

“Can’t believe we’ve got this whole pool and you’re gonna sit there and read a book. So Hollywood,” he bumped you with his elbow, earning himself a dirty look as he settled in beside you. It had been after a careful conversation with the Russo’s that it would be all right if you got a tan, seeing as you were a bit ‘blurry’ on being placed ethnically as it was. With such dark hair and skin but fairly Westernized facial structure and then grey eyes… most people didn’t know where to place you. Hell most days you weren’t sure where to place yourself, your parents had such diverse backgrounds and you were a culmination of all of them. Some of the cast, like Sebastian and Scarlett, weren’t supposed to get a tan or have one showing while filming. 

“Oh relax! I didn’t know you were renting a whole pool either,” you complained, and he shrugged. 

“How else were we supposed to go out and take in a pool day? You know what kind of shit storm would happen if we just showed up to a pool,” Chris argued as he stretched to his full height on a lounge chair before relaxing with his hands behind his head. At least it wasn’t like a full-blown community pool; it was smaller, no diving board or anything like that, so you didn’t feel quite so bad about the fact there could be tons of people out enjoying it while the two of you lounged. 

“Well… I don’t know. Maybe we could’ve bought a blow up pool and put it on the roof of the apartment?” you suggested, and Chris sat up like a rod, staring at you with an open mouth smile. 

“No!” 

“Oh my god can we?” he asked, and next thing you knew Chris was kneeling on the cement in front of you begging. 

“Chris we are not doing that,” 

“Come on, it’ll be so much fun!” 

“Chris, no. We’ll be normal and go to a pool,” you giggled, and patted the top of his head in a friendly manner before settling back into your chair. He tried to pout for a few more moments before giving up and settling back into his chair, stretching and then going back to his earlier position, like he was about to take a nap in the sun. It was a little surprising, seeing as the lifeguard on duty was a really pretty blonde who’d been ogling him the moment the two of you had walked in and Chris hadn’t paid her much more attention than a smile and a thank you when she’d let him know everything was ready to go. Even now, while she was trying to inconspicuously catch his attention she may as well have been wearing an invisibility cloak as far as Chris was concerned. 

“Hey babe?” he asked, and you jumped when you realized Chris was addressing _you_ and obviously had spoken more than once to get your attention. 

“Uh, yeah?” 

“Think you can pass me a bottle of water? I’m a little thirsty,” he asked, and you were about to retort about the fact you’d told him like ten times that morning to pack one when you realized what he was doing. The blonde had blushed hard and immediately stopped staring at him when she’d heard Chris address you. 

Right. The dating thing. 

“Yeah, sure thing, _babe_ ,” you drawled out the word, making him smile as you fished around in the tote bag for the water bottle and handed it over to him. Chris’s large fingers brushed over yours as he took it and he quickly downed a few gulps before screwing the lid back on and returning it to you. 

“How long before we can go swimming?” he asked a few minutes later, and you giggled before squinting over at him. 

“You can go swimming whenever you want, Evans, I want a little bit of a suntan on my one day off,” you informed him, and before you could even protest Chris was picking you up off the lounge chair, giving you ample time to drop your cell phone onto it, and while you shrieked and swatted at him you knew he wasn’t letting go until he’d dropped you in the pool.   
“You can be such an ass,” you grouched as he hovered on the edge of the deep end, you in his arms. 

“It’s okay, you still love me,” he grinned, before stepping off the end and depositing both of you in the cold water. You came up for air laughing, and made sure to splash him as soon as his head had surfaced, starting an all-out war that you were quickly losing. You were a better swimmer, but he could simply overpower you to catch you or dunk you. 

When you finally crawled out of the pool and flopped down onto the ground you were exhausted and working for breath, and Chris simply rested his forearms on the edge of the pool beside you and smiled. You returned it, looking to your left at him and without thinking cupped his cheek for just an instant. 

“You’re a goof, you know that?” 

“I’m your goof now, so suck it,” he stuck his tongue out at you and you laughed again before looking up at the perfectly blue sky above you. It was a gorgeous summer’s day in Atlanta, and the two of you stayed like that, nearly dozing, until you heard a commotion at the building. 

“Well lookey here,”

“Renner! How are you man?” Chris asked, not lifting himself up out of the pool but simply waving from where he was. You sat up and waved, and Chris made sure to reintroduce the two of you as Jeremy settled his stuff onto a chair and soon was chatting away about something or other with Chris as Lizzie and Scarlett showed up together, Rose toddling along beside them. 

“Hey, how’re my girls?” Chris asked, and Rose soon had a bright smile as she toddled over toward him. You grabbed her before she could walk right into the water, and while Scarlett was watching her daughter with hawk eyes, hurrying over to her to prevent any more close calls, Chris pulled himself out of the pool to help distract her in the meantime. 

“Hey Rosie! How are you?” he asked and she was making grabby hands at him and he obliged with a wide smile. 

“Cwis! Cwis!” she chanted as he lifted her up over his head and then settled her down onto the cement beside him as Scarlett was pulling out her life jacket. The little girl suddenly turned to you again, as if realizing that she didn’t know you before playing shy and curling against Chris’s side. 

“This is Claire; she’s my friend,” he told the little girl, and she peeked over at you with big, gorgeous eyes so like her mothers. 

“Hi Rose,” you smiled and gave her a little wave, and got a toothy grin and a wave in response. It didn’t take long for her to warm up, and you helped her out of the little sundress that was on over her swimming suit and into the life jacket so that she could paddle around in the water with you and Chris. Chris had slipped back into the water, more than happy to play with the little girl, but she’d wanted you in the water with them as well which made you smile and giggle and do as she asked without question. While everybody else seemed happy to lounge around and visit; some of the stunt crew had shown up and apparently Anthony Mackie was on the way to Atlanta, possibly even in time to show up to the pool for a bit, you and Chris kept the little blonde girl occupied, blowing bubbles and towing her around in the water. Scarlett even relaxed to the point where it was just a glance here and there to make sure the two of you still had her daughter completely enraptured in whatever new game it was she had dreamed up, and it was so easy to slip into something so simple with him as playing with a three year old. 

Chris loved kids, and it was obvious the moment you saw him with a child. His whole being lit up; his eyes got bright, his smile widened, and it was like some incredible energy just emanated from him, and kids were drawn to him. They loved him the instant they set eyes on him, whether they knew him properly or not, and Rose just adored him.

“Well I’ll be damned. Look at this; Chris Evans looking domestic as all hell,” it was unmistakably Anthony Mackie’s voice that was soon ringing through the pool area, and while Chris bashfully laughed Scarlett was immediately on his case for the language he used in front of Rose. It was hilarious, because he went from cool and collected badass to apologetic and bashful in a millisecond for Scarlett. Soon he’d said his hello’s to everybody and was settling into the group when he all of a sudden perked up and stared straight at you, realizing you hadn’t been introduced and weren’t a familiar face. 

“And who might you be, gorgeous?” he asked with a flirtatious grin, and you smiled as Rose tugged on your hand to help her chase after Chris. 

“Claire McAdams, at your service,” you replied with a grin, and he nodded before reaching out to shake your hand properly. 

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Claire. I can see my boy’s got you pretty busy,” he asked with another grin, and you had to laugh as you propelled Rose at Chris, who made a big show of being tackled by her and sputtering and splashing all the while. 

“Busier than he keeps anybody else?” 

“Well, TMZ seems to think busier than he keeps everybody else,” Anthony insinuated, and you felt your face heat up red-hot as some of the conversation lulled and everybody kind of quieted, looking between you and Chris. 

“Relax; I took her out to a nice dinner. What’s the story in that?” Chris asked, like it was the most nonchalant and ridiculous thing in the world to even speculate about, and you had to laugh even though you weren’t doing as good of a job playing it off. 

“Just checkin’, just checkin’. I’d be pretty upset if my boy managed to find a lady as gorgeous as you and didn’t say a word, that’s all,” Anthony assured you, and you couldn’t help but smirk over at him as everybody fell back into their regular conversations. He was a smartass just like Chris, you could tell. You were going to be in for relentless teasing from him, but part of you looked forward to it. If he was anything like Chris he’d be able to take the teasing just as well as he dished it out and you were going to have a hell of a lot of fun with that. 

“Don’t worry Mack, I’d let you know,” Chris rolled his eyes and winked at you, making you chuckle before Rose launched herself at you and nearly managed to submerge your head on an inhale. That had _everybody_ laughing and Lizzie giving you an interested look before Chris suggested putting up a volleyball net and playing in the pool. 

“Sure!” Anthony and Jeremy soon had dove in, making Rose shriek and clap her hands looking for them. Scarlett insisted she was fine, more concerned with watching her daughter than playing, and Lizzie soon was coerced into playing along with Mark, Andy, and Gregg from lighting. 

It took all of five minutes for you to realize you were terribly out of your league, and soon Chris and Mackie were both jumping in front of you to _defend_ you more than anything else, and after that you resigned and pulled yourself up onto the ledge, tagging in Alex as he showed up to the pool. Lizzie, Scarlett and Rose were much safer company. 

The entire afternoon was wasted away in this fashion; everybody visiting, laughing, splashing around and enjoying the beautiful Atlanta weather. As Chris lamented, it wasn’t so bad when you weren’t in a full spandex bodysuit, to which Scarlett and Jeremy soon agreed, making everybody chuckle. By the time everyone was packing their things, splitting off and waving goodbye, you felt that familiar, almost homesick pang in your stomach, wishing that the day didn’t have to end.

“Hey, hello… Chris to Claire; you copy?” he asked, bumping you slightly and startling you out of your thoughts. Chris was uncanny about that. 

“Yeah, sorry, I zoned out,” 

“I could tell. Relax, you’re okay. Come over to my place; I think I’m gonna grill for supper. I’ve got lots for two,” he offered, and with a smile you nodded. You knew you needed company when you got like this, and Chris knew he could cheer you up. 

“Sure, thanks Chris,” 

“Anytime, _babe_ ,”


	6. Chapter 6

“CLAIRE WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” 

You had to literally hold the phone away from your ear as your best friend Annie screeched on the other end of it. The past three weeks you and Chris had gone out a few times, and after leaving a club somewhere downtown – they’d had swing dancing and you’d all but begged Chris to go so you could learn – you’d been photographed leaving together looking fairly couple-y. It hadn’t been intentional, after the exercise and adrenaline of the dancing paired with a few drinks, both of you had been a little loose. Smiling, laughing, leaning on each other slightly and sharing a cab back to Chris’s apartment where you literally kicked your shoes off and collapsed on top of his bed. Thankfully, he’d had the foresight to convince you out of the dress and into one of his T-shirts for comfort so you didn’t feel completely disgusting this morning. 

“Because of this. This is why I didn’t tell you,” you sighed, and saw Chris’s shit eating grin where he was leaning in the doorway of his bedroom, arms crossed over his muscled chest as he took you in. You rolled your eyes and got a snort from him before he padded back down the hall to the living room, and you could hear the television turn on. “We’re just feeling things out. Taking it slow… I was going to wait to tell you until there was a for sure something to tell.” 

“Well going out dancing to a popular club and getting photographed sure seems like something to tell,” she teased, and then let out a long breath. 

“How long has this been going on?” 

“Just a couple of weeks. We went out for dinner a few times, went out dancing last night, that’s about it. We just hit it off really well, but after all that happened with Kyle, and then with his ex… we don’t want to rush things, you know?” the explanation was logical enough, you knew, because it was how the two of you truly felt, but you could tell Anna was gearing up for one of her pep talks. 

“Just because those two people were assholes does not mean you two need to hold back if you really care about each other. Come on Claire, I have never seen you smile like that with a guy, and I wasn’t even there, I just saw the pictures on TMZ of you on the arm of sexiest-man-alive Chris Evans,” she insisted, and you snorted at her but let her continue as you flopped back against Chris’s overstuffed pillows and stared at the ceiling. “You like him, I can tell. And if the way he looks at you is any indication he likes you too. Don’t be too afraid to let things happen, okay? And I need to meet him. Not just because oh my god he’s Captain America, but I’m not taking any chances after dickface.” 

“I thought you just said no need to hold back and take extra precautions or be too afraid?” you drawled, and heard her huff. 

“Yes, that counts for you. As honorary sibling, I have to take regular to extra precaution. It’s different,” 

“You don’t have to worry. Chris isn’t like that,” you softly assured her, and nearly blushed at the way the words came out. Too honest, even though it was the stone cold truth and nothing less. They felt too intimate almost, for you to say in this context. It felt too much like you and Chris were a thing beyond friends fake-dating.

“Aw sweetheart, you really like him don’t you?” 

“He’s great Annie; he’s smart and sweet and funny… he just. He gets me, if that makes sense. We get each other,” you answered, twirling a piece of hair around your fingers for something to do while you spoke. You caught yourself doing it and groaned internally, wondering how badly you looked like a love struck teenager at the moment. 

“That’s great Claire! I’m glad. That’s the hardest thing to find; I mean it’s great when they’re attractive as hell but if there’s nothing underneath it… even good sex can get boring after a while,” Annie grumped, and you gasped before you were giggling like a thirteen year old. 

“You can’t say shit like that Annie! Oh my God!” 

“Well it’s true,” she insisted with a whine. “Although if he looks as good as Chris I’m sure it would take quite a while to get boring.” 

“Okay, whoa. I’m stopping this train right there,” you butted in, and after she laughed at you turned the conversation back to more acceptable things. Annie had gone on a few dates with some new guy but it wasn’t going anywhere. Her sister was ready to pop in the next three weeks and was already wishing that the baby had arrived. Things with the parents were all good and nothing exciting was going on. The same old small town things that always went on. 

Soon your phone buzzed in your hand, and you moved it from your face to select the message. Annie was bugging you, wondering who was messaging you since she’d heard the vibration as well. Chris had texted you, wondering if you wanted to go out and get breakfast or if he should start making pancakes because he was starving. He needed fuel to keep up the muscle mass that he’d packed on for filming.

You covered the mouthpiece of the phone as he walked to the doorway again whispered to him. “Pancakes, please,” with a smile. He nodded and grinned at you, winking before stopping. Turning around slowly, hand on his hip, his shit eating grin told you he was about to do something that would make you blush.

“Hey babe, you want whipped cream and berries or syrup on those pancakes?” he asked, and you could’ve swatted him, knowing it was loud enough that your best friend would definitely hear him.

“WHAT?” 

“CLAIRE DID YOU SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HIM?”

“You’re an ass, Chris,” you muttered, and he shot you a megawatt smile before laughing to himself as he made his way to the kitchen to start work on breakfast for the two of you. The sounds of him bumbling around his kitchen soon reached you and distracted you momentarily from your friends’ outburst.

“I crashed with him when we got back, but nothing happened,” you insisted, and soon were being bombarded with questions from her about it. 

“You crashed at his place and nothing happened? Don’t lie to me,”

“I’m not, I swear. I just crashed at his place and he was a complete gentleman,” you defended him, and heard Annie sigh to herself on the other side of the line. 

“Okay, okay. If you say so,” she relented, and you smiled to yourself. 

“Thanks girl. I’ll text you later, okay?” the smell of pancakes was becoming too irresistible to leave any longer. 

“The smell of those pancakes getting to be too much?” Annie asked, and you groaned. 

“Yes. And they smell like real pancakes, not protein ones, so I’m going to demolish them and then die when I workout,” you informed her, getting some more laughter before the two of you hung up the phone and you made your way out to Chris’s living room. By the time you realized you were wearing nothing but Chris’s T-shirt and your underwear it was too late, and he only raised an eyebrow at you before turning his attention back to tending the griddle. 

“So, what’s new?” he asked, and you relayed the boring information Annie had passed on. You had to admit, Chris looked pretty good flipping pancakes in his pajama pants; armed with a flipper in one hand and cup of coffee in the other.

“Same old then?” 

“Yeah, exactly. God Chris, those pancakes smell amazing. Better wife you up while I can,” you teased, leaning against his arm for a moment as he laughed. 

“Well, you could fool just about anybody right now,” he teased back, and you blushed before tugging down on the hem of his t-shirt. Thank god it was black and not white and opaque. 

“Oh shush. Where do you keep your pajama pants?” you asked, already heading back down the hall to his bedroom. 

“Bottom left,” he called back, and you soon slipped into a pair of shorts and then traipsed back into the kitchen to get out plates and set the table up. 

“Voila; your pancakes, darling,” Chris set the plate down in front of you with a flourish, making you laugh again. 

“Well merci beaucoup darling; they smell divine,” you played along, and he was grinning as he gathered his own plate and sat down next to you, slathering them with syrup while you patiently waited to do the same. 

Breakfast was fairly quiet; the two of you more intent on devouring the food than anything else, and once the pancakes were gone you cleaned up; insisting on Chris’s favorite reason that since he cooked you should clean. Whenever you tried to argue with him after cooking that was his go-to reason for you to let him clean up. He only pouted for an instant before he was back on the couch watching the sports highlights. That boy and his football; he fangirled harder over Tom Brady than most Captain America fans did over him and it was adorable and hilarious all at the same time.

Dishes done you flopped onto the couch next to him; eyes scanning the screen before realizing you had no idea what sports were on this time of year anyway. Chris saw this take place and soon was teasing you about being a nerd and being clueless about anything sports related. Not that it wasn’t true, but he was nearly as bad as you were and you both knew it. 

“Come on, drop it!” you giggled, and shoved at his shoulder again. 

“Nope! Big ol’ nerd, right here! I’ll get you a sign; you want LED or neon?” 

“I’ll tell Tom Brady you said that,” you threatened him, and watched his eyes go big as saucers in front of you. 

“You would _never_ …” 

“I just might…” you told him, raising an eyebrow to try and hit your point home. Soon Chris was fussing over you instead, and it was all you could do not to break and laugh at his immediate change of heart. Fluffing the pillow behind your head, pulling you in to snuggle against his side, and soon you broke, laughing at him but making yourself comfortable under his arm, his shoulder a good pillow as you took his body heat. You had no desire to get back to your own place, or even off of Chris’s couch as the two of you lazed around for a few hours. Once his sports news was done you channel surfed and ended up watching trash daytime TV for a bit, nearly dozing off together before there was an odd buzzing sound from somewhere in the apartment. It took a few moments before Chris woke up enough to realize it was his phone going off somewhere. Groaning, he got up from the couch and began shuffling around before he found his phone on the counter in the kitchen. 

“Shit…” 

“What Chris?” you asked, looking up over the back of the couch at him. He was staring at his phone, both hands going through his hair before he looked at you. 

“It’s my brother,” 

“And…?” 

“It means he saw those pictures. And that there’s a good chance my mom has too,” he explained, and your eyes widened when you understood what that meant. That made it as real as it could be; that whether you were prepared to be ‘dating’ each other or not, everybody thought it was going on. 

“I see… well you better answer him Chris,” you giggled, realizing the phone was still vibrating. 

“Are you… are you okay with this?” he asked, and after a moment you nodded. 

“Are you?” 

“I… yeah. Yeah, I think so. Just be prepared; my mom can be a handful,” he gave you a halfhearted smile before finally picking up the phone and connecting the phone call. 

“Hey, Scott. What’s up?” you could hear that Chris was trying to hide his feelings from his voice, but hadn’t quite managed it. You could also hear his brother – very loudly – on the other end of the call, even from your place in the living room. His voice was slightly muffled; with the phone being pressed against Chris’s cheek and all, but it wasn’t enough to keep you from being able to hear every word, whether you wanted to or not. And you weren’t sure if it would be too awkward to excuse yourself, because the only option for you to really go to was Chris’s room and that was just a tiny bit weird, truthfully.

_What is all this? You haven’t said a damn thing about a girl and all of a sudden you’re being photographed all over with this one? Dude, what the hell?_

“Whoa, Scott, relax; I can explain, okay?” Chris groaned, and put his forehead down on the counter top in front of him. “We work together, okay? We’re just figuring things out and well… we were hoping to keep things quiet for a while. She’s… she’s not used to all this.” 

_Not used to… she’s an actor, isn’t she? And still to not even say one thing? Chris, come on man…_

“She was in a Broadway show, and that’s it. This is a whole other monster and you know it,” he sighed, and you felt yourself sinking into the couch. Chris had told you he hoped to be able to tell his family before anything got out, to avoid the kind of conflict that was currently happening between him and his brother. 

_But why didn’t you say anything bro? We’ve always told each other this stuff._

“Because it’s new, and… and I want to do this right, you know? I wanted to just keep things between us and make sure she was comfortable with everything. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, I just…” 

_You really like her?_

Chris stood there quietly for a few moments before letting out a long sigh. He gave you a soft smile before taking a big breath. 

“Yeah, I really do. And I know she’s going to have enough stress going on with just being with me… I wanted to wait until she was good with all of that and we were a little stronger before subjecting her to all of you guys,” he chuckled, and you felt your cheeks heating up as you listened to him. He sounded so sincere, and so sweet… no wonder he was the rom com king. 

_I get it, I guess. But you could have said something; I could at least help fend off Mom and Carly for you. Scott continued, and Chris laughed and stood finally, running his free hand through his hair before he waltzed into the living room and flopped down beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he continued his conversation._

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry. Her name’s Claire,” he said, and gave you a warm smile as his fingers found your and intertwined. 

_Claire, that’s a pretty name. Keep spilling; you’ve got a lot of making up to do, Scott prodded, and Chris laughed again, a natural one this time as he leaned slightly against you and you did the same, snuggling in together on his couch in your pajamas._

“She’s twenty six…” 

_CHRIS SHE’S ALMOST TEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU?_

You had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from busting a gut laughing at Scott’s reaction. While both of you were very aware of the fact he was thirty-five and you only twenty-six, it had never felt like there was nine years difference. You’d connected right away and were usually on the same page. 

“Relax, will you? I just… it’s never felt like there’s a gap, it hasn’t mattered,” Chris explained, and you squeezed his hand for some support before he continued. “So please don’t rag on me for that. And don’t you dare tell me it’s a midlife thing or I will drive out to LA and smack you myself.” 

_All right, all right. Jesus Chris… Mom’ll flip her shit when she hears you’re dating a twenty six year old._

“Just let me handle mom, okay? Please don’t say anything until I can talk to her,” he begged, and soon Scott agreed. “She’s from Ohio. She loves Disney the same as me; she sings, she acts, she writes… she’s smart and funny and interesting. Scott she’s great.” 

He nudged you, grinning when he saw that you were blushing at his honest words. You nudged him back, burying your face slightly against his chest, his skin warm and familiar against you. 

_Wow… Chris you haven’t rambled about a girl in years, Scott teased, and you saw Chris himself blushed slightly._

“Shut up,” he grumbled, and you couldn’t withhold the giggle before Scott was laughing on the other end of the phone line. Chris looked like he didn’t know which of you to tell to be quiet first. 

_She’s there? Chris…_

“Don’t even – she’s picking on me about that too,” he growled playfully, and Scott continued to bug him through his laughter. 

“Yeah she’s here; we crashed at my place last night,” Chris finally caved, and after listening to an onslaught of advice and griping from his brother iterated and reiterated that nothing happened between the two of you. He informed his younger brother he’d been nothing but a gentleman and gave you a place to sleep after the two of you had left the club exhausted and a little intoxicated. When Scott relented with a chuckle he began poking about speaking to you on the phone, which immediately caused you some concern and anxiety. You had no idea what to say to Chris’s brother, and worse didn’t want to be lying to his family about anything as it was. 

“Just say hi?” Chris asked gently, and you nodded. Chris handed the iPhone over and after a deep breath lifted it to your ear. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi! Claire?” Scott’s eager voice was soon in your ear, and you could pick out a tone similar to that of Chris immediately. It helped you relax a little bit. 

“Yes; this is Scott?” you asked, and soon he’d jumped into all kind of happy conversation, which only made you smile as you leaned further against Chris and took in the energy that was Scott. 

“It’s so great to get to meet you! Well, talk to you – I mean obviously it’s not the same as meeting you, but you know. So how’d you meet Chris? Ah, movie, right sorry. How are you liking Atlanta? How on earth did a smart lady like yourself end up with my lug of a brother? You look like the kind of girl who knows better, if I do say myself,” soon you were laughing too hard to remember that you were nervous talking to him, while Chris was making all kinds of gestures and faces that indicated he was embarrassed to death and would rather die than listen to the teasing his brother was dishing out. 

“Yeah, he contacted me after he heard I was cast so I would know somebody when I came out here, and we just really connected. And he’s a sweetheart, Scott; underneath that big, tough guy lumberjack act; he really is,” you admitted, and you could’ve sworn Chris blushed at your words before his arm squeezed you a little tighter, a thank you for rescuing his reputation from his brother. 

“Aw, he must be working pretty hard then,” was the jest you got in response, and soon the two of you were chatting away, and Scott was just about to get into some embarrassing stories about them as kids when suddenly the phone was out of your hands and Chris was making ridiculously lame excuses for having to go, and Scott was grouching at him before Chris ended the call with a “Bye! Talk to you soon; gotta go; see you later,” and hung up. 

“What was that for?” 

“You are _not_ getting that kind of dirt on me this early on,” he replied, and you gasped at him before trying to ambush him to get the rest of the story out. 

“No! Not happening! It’s gonna be bad enough when you meet Scott in person and the only way to get him to be quiet is physically and then I’ll hear about it for weeks from my mom for picking on him,” he lamented, and you put on the best pout you could muster. 

“But Chris, I was having fun talking with your brother,” 

“Too much fun. That sounded dangerous,” he decided, and then pulled you into his arms, catching you off guard. Somehow it didn’t feel like the same silly, friendly interaction the two of you always had, and the fact you were wearing a pair of his shorts and his t-shirt while he was still only clad in pajama pants may have had something to do with it. Pressed against him and so close together you could feel the heat radiating off of him, his blue eyes intently studying your face. It was distracting, to say the least. 

“You’ll get to meet him and then you can get into all the trouble you want, okay? I like not having all my childhood idiocies being held over my head right now,” he teased back, and you could only smile before putting your head on your chest. His arms closed in around you slightly, and then you felt his hand move up until he was nearly cradling the back of your head against him. It felt soft, and sweet, and right, somehow. Right enough you didn’t question it, and agreed when Chris suggested lazing around and watching some more TV until the two of you had to hit the gym at five o’clock. It was too tempting to turn down. 

“Aw shit,” he groaned, throwing his head back and scratching at his beard after he got a peak at the clock on his wall. You knew what that meant, and stuck out your bottom lip at him as if he could somehow decide whether or not you had to make your workout session as well. 

“No, none of that,” he chuckled, pushing you slightly until you stood up, allowing him up off of his couch. “Come on, no rest for the wicked. Or the super, apparently.” 

“Ugh, why did I sign up for this again?” you asked, and heard Chris’s laugh follow you as you retrieved your dress from the night before and your heels from his bedroom floor, realizing you had zero desire to put them on to scamper across the hall. 

“I’ll give these back,” you told him, and his eyes widened before he was grinning at you when he realized what you were going to do. 

“You’re going to do a walk of shame?” 

“Well, there’s no shame if nothing happened,” you shrugged, but still peaked your head out and looked at the hallway before doing so. Key already in hand so you didn’t have to waste time fumbling for it, you were in the safety of your own apartment before Chris had even walked to his front door. 

“Well, see you in a few,” he called across the hall, and you waved before closing the door and heading for your shower, sighing as you realized that the little pocket of peace and quiet the two of you had enjoyed for most of the day was over.


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey! Claire! You know Seb, right?” Chris called as he spotted you across the set. You paused, coffee halfway up to your mouth in an attempt to chase away your early morning tiredness, lifting your eyes up to the two men who were making their way toward you. You were just heading to set with the Russo’s to start some of the light set up for the first shots later that afternoon. Chris had finally, begrudgingly, gone completely clean-shaven, taking a solid five years off of his appearance, which you liked to tease him about. He still looked unfairly handsome compared to the general population, but complained he felt exposed without the beard. 

“I don’t think we’ve properly met,” you smiled, extending a hand to the equally handsome brunette beside Chris. With wide, intelligent blue eyes and an adorable crooked smile he swapped his Starbuck cup to his left hand and took yours, giving you a firm handshake. 

“Sebastian Stan,” 

“Claire MacAdams,” you answered with a grin, which seemed to coach one onto his lips as well, his earlier smile softening and relaxing into something more natural than what he’d approached with. He was basically the same height as Chris, with shoulders that also looked like they were difficult to fit through regular doorframes. Jesus did the men ever get big for these movies.

“Nice to meet you. So, they tell me you’re the big surprise?” 

“I guess you can say that; they aren’t releasing the new Cap series that Alessandra’s part of until the film’s premiere date,” you replied, and he chuckled at you. 

“Pretty cool,” he decided, and Chris was eagerly looking between the two of you. It was obvious he thought the two of you would get along and was waiting for the magical ‘click’ to happen in front of his eyes. You almost burst out into laughter just watching him fidget like a five year old.

“Yeah it’s not too bad,” you agreed, and soon the two of you let out a chuckle at the slight awkwardness between you. 

“So, have a favorite superhero?” he asked after a few moments, and Chris began laughing to himself while your face heated up a bit. 

“What?” Sebastian asked, looking between the two of you. 

“Well… my favorite comic series are the Cap ones,” you started, tucking some hair behind your ears. “But actually… um… Bucky’s one of my favorite characters.”

“What? Really?” he asked, eyes widening as he leaned forward. You were blushing still, and Chris was standing back a half step, watching the two of you interact. “That’s so cool. Why Buck?” 

“He’s just… there’s so many characters that ended up with powers accidentally, or were changed… but there aren’t many that had to fight back the way that he has. He almost died, but didn’t. Was tortured, beaten, brought through hell and back and lost himself, was a bad guy through no will of his own. Now he’s trying to find redemption, trying to find himself as a new person. It’s just really interesting,” you tapered off when you felt like you were rambling, and then looked back up saw instead that Sebastian was all but hanging off of your words. 

“That’s exactly the way I look at him too… it’s not just that he’s trying to make up for it, he’s also trying to find a new place for himself, live his life in what he thinks is the right way. I think it’s because he’s so tortured but so determined to make it right. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who reads him like that,” he eagerly told you, and soon you both got a little carried away talking about how juxtaposed Bucky was against other characters. It was an easy conversation that the two of you were lost in until Chris interrupted when they were calling you to come through for some readings and screen testing for lighting and stuff. 

“Sorry, nice to meet you!” you gushed, and Sebastian nodded with an open smile as you rushed off in the direction of the Russo’s, Scarlett, and Anthony Mackie. You were slightly out of breath when you arrived, and rolled your eyes when you saw Anthony’s expression. 

“So… met Mr. Stan I see,” he was elbowing you lightly, teasingly as if you were his little sister somehow. 

“Yeah, Chris literally just introduced us, you saw it,” you answered, rolling your eyes at him while noticing that Sebastian had wandered over to speak with some of the special effects team that was taking specs on the sound stage. “He seems nice.” 

“He’s a great guy,” Chris allowed, sneaking up and spooking you before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in close. “I kind of had a feeling the two of you would click.” 

His whisper was laced with conspiracy, as if it was some big huge deal, and you snorted out a laugh before turning to look at him. His blue-green eyes were sparkling and he winked at you. Anthony was otherwise distracted, having been called on to start finding marks with the lighting.

“That’s… nice of you? I guess?” you suggested, chuckling even as he let out a laugh himself, one loud enough to catch the attention of most of the crew around you, the man in question included. 

“”Ah come on Claire, throw me a bone! He’s a great guy, he’s handsome…” 

“And I’m supposed to be ‘dating’ you remember?” you countered, and Chris stuttered for a moment before grinning sheepishly. With that he pressed a quick kiss to your temple, and then let his arm drop. 

“Right. I momentarily forgot that,” 

“Well it’s not like we have to—”

“Nope. You’re still stuck with me,” he refused, and then put his hands on his hips as he thought for a moment. “I just thought I was going to have a great matchmaker moment… but I guess I’ve already had a better one.” 

With that you couldn’t hold in your laughter at all and soon were almost doubled over, leaving Chris looking embarrassed and silly all at once as he stood there and tried to keep the blush off of his face while quietly trying to get you to tell him just what was so funny. By the time you got control of yourself there were actual tears coming from your eyes. You couldn’t remember the last time you had laughed so damn hard. 

“You’re a piece of work, Christopher,” 

“Claire…” he whined, following along behind you as you saw Anthony gesturing you over. He kept just a step and a half behind you the whole time, and Anthony and Joe were both doing a very good job at withholding their own laughter at Chris’s decidedly childlike behavior at that moment. They knew – probably better than anyone – that he was prone to goofing off at times or being silly, but seeing it in glorious action like this was always an interesting reminder. A thirty five year old following you around and whining like a five year old was never _not_ going to be funny. 

“What happened this time?” Joe asked, sounding like a resigned parents as Chris stuck his lip out, very intentionally playing it up now. 

“She’s picking on me,” 

“Chris, I’m not picking on you,” you sighed, cupping and patting his smooth, beard-free cheek with a smile before stepping up onto the platform of the soundstage on the marker they’d taped down to begin adjusting lighting. 

“Are too,” 

“Are not,” 

“Are too,” he repeated, huge arms crossed across his chest and head cocked to the side watching what was going on. He couldn’t resist himself, his interest in directing always peaked out when technical things were happening, and he was like a sponge taking it all in.

“Why do you think she’s picking on you?” Joe asked, without even looking up from the monitor, and Chris huffed.

“She was laughing at me and wouldn’t tell me why!” he announced, and soon everyone in a five foot vicinity was doing their very best not to laugh at him either. His pout only last another thirty seconds or so before Sebastian walked over. 

“Keep your lip stuck out like that and a bird’s gonna shit on it,” he announced, knocking into Chris lightly with a shoulder as he came to stand beside the man who was his on-screen best friend. With that Chris snapped to attention, putting away his pout and letting his arms drop to a relaxed position, which made you chuckle to yourself even as you met Sebastian’s steel blue eyes. They were almost sparkling; a smirk on his lips as he caught your gaze and winked.

“Is it pick on Chris day? Did I miss the memo?” the blonde asked, and soon everybody was shaking their head at him. 

“Oh Chris,” you sighed, shaking your head and moving when directed. He shot you an unhappy glance before Sebastian asked him a question about something and soon the two were so engrossed in their conversation that Chris must have forgot he wasn’t pleased with you. Some twenty minutes later, all marks captured and lighting notes made, you were allowed to leave the soundstage, and Chris slung an arm over your shoulders as the two of you and Sebastian walked toward the direction of everybody’s trailers. It was almost time for lunch, and you were starving. Two mismatched grumbles from the stomachs of the men walking beside you let you know they were in the same boat, even as their cheeks heated up simultaneously. 

“Good, I’m starving too,” you announced, helping ease some of their embarrassment as Sebastian shot you a sheepish grin and Chris just laughed. 

“Well, what kind of sad lunch do you think it is today? Salad?” 

“I’m really hoping for a chicken burger,” you sighed, picturing it. Granted, you were picturing a crispy, fast food style burger, not what you would actually see if that’s what catering had for lunch. They tended to the actor’s diets to a T, which was lovely and considerate of them but not much fun for the actors. 

“Don’t do that to me,” Sebastian pouted. “This whole ‘get huge’ for a role thing has not been as much fun as everybody made it sound. I would kill for a pizza.” 

The playful whine in his voice made you laugh, and nod in agreement. You understood his pain all too well, and you didn’t have to worry about bulking up the way he and Chris did.

“I know what you mean. Like, before I literally only worked out so I could still eat pizza and all the good things… now I can’t even do that. It’s awful,” 

“Welcome to my world guys,” Chris added, and shot you a smile. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

“Cheat night?” you whispered, and Sebastian’s steel-blue eyes widened before he scooted closer to your left side. He took a quick look around, before turning back to you, his gaze intent as he leaned in a bit to whisper.

“What’s this now?” 

“Oh my God man, when we were doing pre-production, we made homemade pizza and drank beer and ate ice cream… it was the best moment of my life,” Chris told him, and Sebastian groaned, head tipping back and long hair moving slightly in the breeze. 

“That sounds like heaven…” 

“It was amazing,” you agreed, and soon his blue eyes were pleading. 

“Can this happen? I feel like this needs to happen?” he asked, and you and Chris shared a look before nodding and shrugging. 

“I think we should,” you agreed, and Chris grinned. 

“Thank fucking God. So what are we gonna make? Pizza again?” 

“Anything else you guys want?” you asked, looking between the two actors who both got lost in thought for a moment before they refocused. 

“What about lasagna?” 

“Oh damn… Claire please tell me you know how to make lasagna? I’ll help, I swear,” Chris begged, and you laughed and nodded. Thankfully that was something you were quite good at making. 

“I happen to know a good recipe,” you teased, and both men let out a happy groan, Chris putting his arm back around your shoulders and giving you a squeeze, his smile wide as he winked. 

“I knew I keep you around for a reason,” he joked, and you faked a hurt face before turning to Sebastian who was hardly keeping from laughing. 

“You hear that?” 

“Just rude,” he agreed, cracking and chuckling as you came up to the long row of trailers. Chris let out a whine and leaned his head against yours, trying to suck up a little and only making you and Sebastian laugh some more at him. 

“Hey, text me when you guys are done for the day? I don’t know what all I’ve got planned but I know I have to be in special effects at one thirty,” he said, and with a wave hopped up the two steps, unlocked and opened his door. 

“Sounds good; you can catch a ride with us if you want,” Chris offered, and Sebastian nodded before looking a little confused. 

“You guys drove together?” 

“Well yeah, we live across the hall from each other. Why waste twice as much gas?” you pointed out, and Sebastian nodded before chuckling. 

“Yeah, sorry; makes sense. I’ll talk to you guys later,” with a quick wave he went inside and the two of you continued on to your trailer, Chris following you inside and immediately making himself at home with you, getting a glass of water and settling into the couch. You did the same, and were surprised when Chris pulled you closer to him on the couch, keeping an arm around your shoulders as the two of you simply relaxed a little. It was the same odd but comforting feeling as when the two of you had been relaxing on his couch the day after the club, but again you simply leaned against Chris and let out a long breath; letting your eyes close for a moment as all the tension seemed to just kind of seep out of your body. 

“I could literally just take a nap right now,” he mumbled, and you let out a sigh and nodded. 

“Me too. You make a good pillow,” you agreed, and heard Chris chuckle before his paw of a hand softly patted and caressed the side of your head for a moment before going back to its resting place on your shoulder. Moments later he was snoring softly, and you smiled to yourself as you set a twenty-minute timer on your phone and settled in to do the same. 

“Hello? Hello?” you managed to crack open an eye at the strange voice invading your nap, and then saw Sebastian nervously poking his head in your trailer door, a light blush across his pale cheeks as he sheepishly waved at you. 

“Sorry… shit I didn’t realize you guys were… sleeping,” he admitted, but you waved him off and sat up properly, stretching a little as Chris’s hand slid off of your shoulder and flopped down to his side, not making the sleeping man do so much as twitch. 

“It’s okay; I set a timer on my phone but apparently slept through it,” you chuckled, and Sebastian shot you a small smile from where he stood on the front steps, still only his head poking into the trailer. 

“You can come in you know,” 

“Sure, thanks, I uh, sorry didn’t want to intrude or invite myself in or whatever,” he rambled, walking in and closing the door behind him before eyeing up sleeping Chris. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. God only knows how long I’d have slept if you hadn’t – so thanks for that,” you smiled, and he relaxed a little before sitting down at the tiny kitchen table. 

“So, uh, you two…?” 

“We’re just kind of feeling things out,” you blushed, your face immediately feeling hot at Sebastian being so forward about how the two of you must have come across to him. Damn Chris and his stupid ideas. 

“Oh, I gotcha. Makes sense; I kinda figured, I mean, Chris isn’t usually like this with a costar. I mean he’s super friendly and all but not quite so… cuddly,” Sebastian was tripping over his words a little, cheeks still an adorable shade of pink as you giggled at him. He was cute, in his slightly awkward, bashful way that contradicted his huge shoulders, muscled form and scruffy facial hair. 

“Really? I kind of got the impression he’s like this with just about anyone. Minus this… part,” you waved to explain the situation of him napping with his arm around you, and Sebastian shrugged. 

“Depends. He can be, but usually not so intensely. I mean, not like I’ve seen much but… I’ve known the guy for like eight years now. Kinda easy to see when he’s a little more involved. I’m surprised Anthony hasn’t bugged the hell out of you two yet,” 

“I’d appreciate if he doesn’t,” you groaned, finally making the blue-eyed man laugh and relax fully at your pained expression. “He already likes to tease the hell out of me without any real ammunition.” 

“He means well,” Sebastian immediately defended him, and you nodded. 

“I know he does. Still doesn’t mean I’m good at handling his teasing,” you argued, and with that Sebastian gave a nod in agreement before his phone buzzed in his pocket. He made a slightly unpleasant expression, something between a wince and a grimace, before he seemed to realize he’d outwardly emoted. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah… just… some shitty stuff going on at home,” he sighed, before waving his phone where you could see an incoming call screen. “Sorry, but I’ve gotta go take this.” 

“Yeah, of course. Thanks again for waking me up Seb; give us a text whenever you’re done for the day if you still want lasagna, okay?” you asked, and saw his grateful smile as he looked back to you, already halfway out of the trailer. 

“That would be great. Although after this call I might need a shot or two of tequila to go with it,” he sighed, running a hand through his shoulder-length locks before exiting your trailer. You could just hear him answer the phone call as he walked away, before you turned to Chris and softly shook him. 

“Chris? Chris?” 

“No… five more minutes…” he whined, and you couldn’t help but smile at him. 

“Come on… we have to go get lunch,” you reminded him, and saw one blue eye hesitantly open. 

“Lunch?” 

“Yes, lunch. Then we only have a few hours of light prep and stunt work and then we can go to the grocery store and go home and make lasagna,” you told him, and with a sigh and a pout that could melt a heart of ice he opened both eyes and then yawned loudly. His huge arms stretched the expanse of the couch as he extended them, whole body tensing slightly as he stretched himself out and then sat up properly. 

“Okay. You’re lucky that you’re my favorite. I don’t wake up for just anybody,” he informed you. With that you managed a laugh, even though he shook his head and snaked those huge arms around you to pull you back down to the couch beside him. For an instant you were afraid he’d tickle you, because that was one weakness you couldn’t shake, but instead he nuzzled his face against your neck and closed his eyes again for a moment, simply breathing. It took you by surprise, Chris needing to be held and cuddled in the small, dare you say dingy, trailer you had to retreat to while on set, but you wrapped your arms tight around his shoulders. There was heat radiating off of his skin through the thin grey Underarmor T-shirt, and the material was sticking to him thanks to the Georgia heat, even though there was a small air conditioner going around the clock in the trailer. 

 

“You okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m all right. Glad you’re here, though,” he mumbled against your neck, and you felt a small shiver go down your spine at his lips brushing against warm flesh. It was a weird response, one you’d never had to Chris, and you shook it off, deciding it was just the fact it was so unexpected that made you react. 

“Yeah? Bad dream?” you ran a hand through his short, lightened locks. The streaks of blonde were back, ready to show his Steve Rogers, but the hairs were still silky soft between your fingers. 

“Not a bad dream, per say,” he started, and you could tell he was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Just… ever have one of those dreams that felt real? Then you wake up and realize it’s not?” 

You immediately felt a wave of sympathy hit you. Chris had, for the first few weeks, had dreams like that where the whole cheating/breakup fiasco hadn’t taken place, and was convinced it had been a bad dream and he’d gone about his life. Then woken up and found out the twisted truth was the opposite. It had really wrecked him for a bit, especially because, as he said, the dreams were just so damn _real_. For him to be going through them again was a torture the poor man didn’t deserve. 

“Oh Chris, it’s okay,” you murmured, pressing a friendly kiss to the top of his head and rubbing his back, pulling him in tighter against you. You could feel his slow, controlled breaths, and held him until he moved, letting him decide how much comfort he needed. When he did pull away though, he managed a small, crooked smile for you that comforted you a little bit. 

“I know, I’m getting there. How about we get a bite to eat and you talk dirty to me about this lasagna you’re gonna make,” he suggested, making you all but cackle in laughter. 

“Talk dirty to you about lasagna?” 

“Yes. You know… food porn? Tell me how amazing it’s gonna be, make me drool a little bit…” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and had to catch you when you nearly fell off the couch laughing from laughing too hard. It took you a moment to control your self, but when you did you cleared your throat and threw him your best over the top sexy face. Even if you were afraid you maybe looked more like Ben Stiller in Zoolander than anything else. 

“Oh baby, this lasagna isn’t like anything you’ve ever had before…” you started, making your voice low and husky and you trailed your fingertip across the collar of his T-shirt. Chris let out a groan and his blue eyes begged you to continue. 

“All that meat… layers and layers of cheese…” you drew a little design on his chest, noticing how dark his eyelashes were against his cheekbones as he closed his eyes and wet his lips. You had to stifle a giggle at the fact he seemed to be enjoying this weirdness. 

“Oh god… Cheese…” he sighed, and you had to do some quick thinking to continue. 

“Oh yeah… and wanna know what my secret is?” 

“Secret? Please,” he begged. 

“Cream cheese… a whole layer in the middle of it… creamy and rich…” 

“Oh shit…” he actually groaned, and you hardly bit back your laugh this time. 

“Homemade sauce… think of all that melted cheese and tomato and the carbs in the noodles… you excited?” you asked, and Chris let out another groan and an over eager nod. 

“Good lord… I never thought food could be so sexually charged,” he admitted and you lost the fight, dropping the ridiculous persona and laughing at how damn awkward the situation was. 

“I can’t believe you just had me try to turn food into porn for you,” 

“Hey! You liked it… your voice got all husky and everything,” he argued, but you simply raised an eyebrow. 

“Honey… I’m an actor. I can make my voice all husky and everything talking about… I don’t know… anything,” you informed him, doing just as you said, continuing to draw little circles and curls along the collar of his t-shirt and making him squirm, just a tiny bit. 

“Goddamn. You could read the phone book and make it sexy, couldn’t you? You and Scarlet should do a project together like that,” he babbled, and you laughed before standing up and stretching. 

“I think I need a few more big projects under my belt before I announce that I’m reading the phone book. And then to decide what city in what county in what state? Goodness Evans you make a tall order,” you teased, to which you got a huff before he had picked you straight up off the floor and caught you off guard. A small yelp was all you got out before you had clung to him for dear life. He was nearly as tall as the trailer, a mere few inches between the top of his head and the roof, and he looked even bigger than he actually was in the small space. 

“You, Missy, have some kind of attitude,” he informed you, before setting you back on your feet. You huffed, straightening out your clothes before grabbing your phone and marching the four steps to the front door. 

“It demands a lot of attitude trying to keep up to you, Evans,” you informed him, before shrieking and taking off, knowing he’d be hot on your heels to catch you and make you take back the statement. Chris’s surprised holler told you as such, as did the smacking sound your trailer door made as he exited through it in hot pursuit of you. You ran full blast down the row of trailers toward the catering tent, hoping somebody that would prove to be an ally would be there to protect you from the unrelenting tickling machine that was Chris Evans. Hopefully before he caught you, anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

“And… end scene! Good job today guys! We’ll see you all Monday!” Joe announced after the camera stopped rolling, and you, Sebastian, Chris and Anthony all stood normally, rolling out your shoulders and stretching in various ways. The chase scene that you guys had been working on the whole day had been physically demanding, and ended with you guys crawling through a tiny grate space which was cramped and awkward. 

“Working for the weekend…” Sebastian was mumbling under his breath, keeping mostly in tune and you couldn’t help but laugh and bump into his shoulder as Chris walked over to help you down from the ledge you were currently stationed on. He offered a hand and slipped his other arm around your waist, easily lifting you and then setting you on your feet in front of him, close enough that your shirt rode up your stomach slightly from rubbing on his own T-shirt. It was enough to make you blush a little even as Chris offered you a knowing smile and a little wink. Sebastian seemed to duck his head and soon hurried off in a different direction, which was odd for him, but he’d been stuck in his own head a bit the past week or two. Anthony said it was issues with his girlfriend and to just leave him be, that Seb would talk when he was ready to, so neither you nor Chris had pushed the issue. 

“Thanks Chris,” 

“Of course,” he smirked, and pressed a minute kiss to your temple as the two of you walked off of the set together, his arm still comfortably around your waist. Everybody else had begun noticing, and neither of you corrected them when they made silly comments about the two of you together. Chris’s mom had called him – not once, not twice, but three times – after a second set of pictures had been taken of the two of you out on a jog together and then relaxing in a park for a bit, and so now the cat was as out of the bag as it could possibly be. The media was trying to splash as many pictures of you together as they could across magazines and gossip shows, even though there weren’t a whole lot of pictures, and both your mother and his parents had let off of the whole dating thing. It was a nice in between place, where there wasn’t any expectations from anybody else regarding the two of you and your relationship, but everybody seemed to quietly accept it. 

“So, I’m thinking dinner and a movie tonight?” he suggested, and you giggled before looking up at him. 

“I have enough Scene points for two free movies,” you told him, and he let out a playful whoop. 

“Sweet! Then it’ll only cost us like, thirty dollars for popcorn and something to drink,” he joked, laughing at the fact it was truer than anybody would like to admit as you continued toward the costume trailer. You both changed back into your regular clothes; which today consisted of gym shorts and tank tops, as you knew you’d be dirty and sweaty when coming home, and quickly returned to Chris’s trailer to gather the last of your things before heading back to the apartments. The whole weekend was ahead of the two of you, and you were looking forward to a little R&R finally. It had been a rough three weeks of filming and the only reprieve that you’d had was Chris coming and relaxing at your apartment or going to his and doing the same. He’d gone through some kind of catering company that he’d used for the other Marvel movies that basically packaged and delivered pre-made meals that fit into his diet and needs and sent them to his apartment so he didn’t need to cook at all while filming, and was helping you to do the same. It was just easier in the mix of the crazy hours and hard work than trying to worry about making food once you managed to get back if shooting went late.

“God I cannot wait to shower,” you groaned as you gathered up your tote bag, making sure your phone, tablet, headphones, wallet and spare shirt were all still in there along with your keys. Chris was shuffling around looking for God-knows what before getting a water bottle out of the fridge and tossing it to you. You gladly accepted it and guzzled about half of it back before taking a breath. 

“Thanks Chris,” 

“You’re welcome. And I know – I can’t wait for one either,” he agreed, before insisting he was good to go, and locking up his trailer behind the two of you as you headed to the parking lot to head back. 

“Did someone say shower?” both of you froze, and shared a look of sheer panic. 

“NO!” you screamed torn between trying to run and simply throwing your tote bag so your electronics wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire. Chris took off running, and with a groan you started a dead sprint, knowing you couldn’t outlast Mackie for long. His booming voice hadn't been far away as it was, so you didn't have much of a head start.

“Shit, shit, shit…” you were already running out of breath. Chris was like fifteen feet ahead of you, and you could hear Mackie’s pounding footsteps getting closer and closer behind you. 

Finally you tossed your tote bag onto the grass and tried for one last burst of speed before letting out a scream as you were doused with a bucket of ice cold water. It soaked you through, and you could hear Mackie killing himself laughing as you sputtered and gasped for air, dancing on the spot to try and get some heat back into your system. 

"And... CUT! Cut the check!" he announced, laughing.

“You, sir, are an asshole,” you declared, before flipping him – and his recording iPhone –the finger. He circled you, to get the full view of just how doused you were, before chuckling to himself.

“You said you wanted a shower, I heard you say it all the way back there,” 

“You mean you heard me say it in the trailer. I was talking about a hot shower!” you whined, trying to keep your teeth from chattering. 

“And here’s your knight in shining armor now, perfectly dry,” Anthony sing-songed as Chris sheepishly approached. 

“NOT FOR LONG!” neither of you had time to react as Sebastian popped out from behind a work truck and doused him with his own bucket of water, and by extension, you, because you weren’t totally out of the way. 

“Jesus Christ that’s cold!” Chris yelped, and flung his car keys in the general direction of your bag. Thank God his phone had been with yours. 

“Like you said, you wanted a shower,” Sebastian’s smirk was almost contagious, before it quickly turned into an ‘oh shit’ (rivaling that of his performance in Civil War when Black Panther came at him on the rooftop) as he turned tail while Chris took after him. 

“FUCK FUCK FUCK!” all you could hear was Sebastian hollering before he was taken down by Chris, pinned to the grass and given a nougie that made you wince from twenty five feet away. You elbowed Anthony quickly, and made sure he got a picture when Chris finally let Sebastian back up. The wet ass-print on the back of his t-shirt was too funny to ignore. 

“Send that to me, please!” you asked, and heard the ding from your tote bag that meant Anthony had complied. 

“I have a headache now. I hope you’re happy,” Sebastian huffed as they made their way back over to the two of you. 

“Serves you damn right. Now we’re going to go back to the apartment and have a _real shower_ , a _wanted_ one,” Chris informed the two of them with a death glare that only made you giggle. 

“Sorry, got to agree with Cap on that one,” you said, and gave them each a cheesy grin before gathering up your things and walking away, you posted the picture of Sebastian to Instagram, tagging him in it, and had a text with angry and embarrassed emojis from him before Chris had even parked at the apartment.

There was a lot of activity in your building, which both of you shrugged off as nothing, until you got up to your floor and realized what the activity was. 

“Mr. Evans? You’re the occupant of 311 correct?” A man in a maintenance uniform asked, and Chris nodded, face paling considerably. 

“I’m terribly sorry but there’s been a leak in the apartments upstairs and the whole east side of the building needs some severe renovations and fixing. I’m afraid you may want to find another place to stay for the next couple of weeks,” he explained, and Chris swallowed hard. 

“Is my stuff all right? Like can I go in and get my things?” 

“Yes, yes of course. The worst of the damage is the kitchen and living areas spreading into the bathroom,” the older man told Chris, and they walked in. You were going to wait outside, but Chris’s hand grabbed yours and you could feel him shaking. He was pretty calm and collected on the outside but he was freaking out on the inside. 

“Jesus…” 

It was a good thing Marvel had furnished the apartment and Chris hadn’t brought his own things. The jip rock on the walls was sloping in slightly, waterlogged completely, and there were puddles on the floor and the ceiling looked like it had been torn open. Chris’s large blue eyes took in every detail, and you took a step up to stand beside him and gave his hand a squeeze in an attempt to support him. He was nearly vibrating with contained emotion, and so you decided to step in. 

“Have you contacted the company? They’re renting it for Chris,” you spoke up, and the man nodded. 

“They’re aware and insurance will cover most of it. It’s just the actual time needed for repairs that Mr. Evans won’t be able to occupy the space for,” 

“That’s all right, Chris can just stay with me. Can you guys give us some time to get organized and move some of his stuff? I know you want to get to the repairs as soon as possible but it’ll be easier if we aren’t in the way while doing so,” you asked, and the man, Mr. Greer, was more than happy to comply, letting his team know that they’d be off for an hour or two until you let them know. With that he bowed his head slightly and stepped out, the team trailing behind him and then you turned to Chris and pulled him into the hug you knew he needed. 

“It’s okay, it’ll be fine; you’ll just stay with me until everything’s fixed,” you murmured, and he took a shaky breath before nodding. 

“Thank you Claire,” he whispered, and you nodded. 

“Of course. Now, let’s get your bags, and get as much of your stuff over to my place as we can. We can get it all organized after it’s all there,” you softly but firmly informed him, and with a dazed nod he headed toward his bedroom. You picked up the single, framed picture he had of him and his family on the counter and quickly ran it to your place, setting it in approximately the same spot on the counter in your apartment, dumping your tote bag and things before returning to help him settle. His two suitcases were on the bed, and you noticed the carpet in his bedroom and the wall that bordered the bathroom were in rough shape as well. 

“Okay, tell me what to grab so I can help,” you instructed, and Chris stood there for a moment before shaking himself slightly and then asking you to get the button downs and stuff from the closet while he emptied the dresser. Between the two of you, you made short work of clearing his clothes out and moving the suitcases to sit in your bedroom. Then it was a quick return for the toiletries; his shower stuff, electric razor, etcetera, then it was the random things; emptying the night stand, bringing his alarm clock, and then going through the apartment for the few other odds and ends he had, before his pre-planned meals were brought over and stashed in your fridge. 

In all it only took about an hour or an hour and a half to empty his things fro the apartment and deposit them in yours, and once that was done you sat Chris on your couch before informing Mr. Greer that you were finished. That done you returned to your apartment, and found Chris not on the couch but instead leaning on the counter, eyes intently moving over the picture frame you’d moved earlier. 

“You don’t have to do this Claire; I can hotel it for a few weeks,” 

“Chris, com on. You’ll stay here, it’ll be fine,” you insisted, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your cheek against his arm. He let out a long breath before turning to lean his hip against the counter and wrap his arms around you. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, and kissed your cheek before resting his head against yours. You could feel the tension beginning to ebb out of his body once he realized things were, in fact, going to turn out all right, and you were glad Chris felt comfortable and safe enough in your apartment to relax. You’d seen his mind start spinning as he’d assessed the damage in the apartment and knew that he’d begin panicking himself quickly over it.

“Well, why don’t we get some of your stuff unpacked then we can go see a movie to break it all up, okay?” you suggested, rubbing his arms softly. Chris nodded and followed you to your bedroom where you began moving things around to clear closet space for him. Thankfully, just the week before you’d gotten a small set of drawers that fit into the closet, so you emptied your drawer of pajamas and the one full of socks into those drawers so Chris had two full dresser drawers for his things as well. 

“We might have to buy some more hangers…” you worried, realizing that you hadn’t really grabbed any of the ones from Chris’s place and that you only had ten or so extra ones. 

“Well I can leave stuff in my suitcase too,” Chris insisted, but you put your hands on your hips and gave him a determined look. It was bad enough he had to leave the place that was supposed to be his home for another three months, you weren’t going to have him living out of a suitcase for that time either. 

“Chris…” 

“Okay, okay; we’ll get some hangers,” he relented, and then wrapped his arms around you, effectively tucking your head beneath his chin as he simply took a few deep breaths. “I do really appreciate this, you know you didn’t have to offer to share your place with me.” 

“I know, but I don’t want you having to try and find something else when it’s easy and comfortable to just stay here. Besides, we’ve only spent like a handful of nights totally apart in the past month anyway,” you joked, getting a soft chuckle from him before he was softly rubbing your back. 

“Doesn’t make it any smaller of a gesture. Thanks Claire,” he insisted, and you were surprised when Chris’s lips softly met yours. It shocked you, but as he pulled away you realized that you didn’t totally hate it; it wasn’t as awkward of an interaction as you’d assumed kissing Chris would be. He didn’t say a word, simply rested his chin on top of your head again and stood there trying to ground himself.

“How about we make some food and go check out the movies, all right?” you suggested, and Chris nodded, keeping his arms as close to around you as he could while the two of you went to the kitchen and each decided on a pre-made meal to heat up and eat. The TV was a soft background noise while you ate, neither of you sure what to say and so it was a quiet meal. Chris was still reeling a little bit, and you’d just come to the very real conclusion that Chris was going to be living in your one bedroom apartment for the next few weeks and he had just kissed you. In the privacy of said one bedroom apartment, even though the whole ‘dating’ thing was supposed to be a ruse between two friends. It was starting to feel like a whole lot more than that, and you realized it even if Chris maybe hadn’t. 

“So, uh, what movie do you want to see?” he asked, the two of you showered and dressed ‘incognito’ – you were wearing yoga pants and a tank top, a thin cardigan covering your arms even though there was no need for any extra warmth in the Georgia night, and Chris was wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, a ball cap pulled low over his eyes as he scanned the possible movie options. 

“Hmm… there’s a new action movie out? That looks all right,” you mused, and Chris nodded beside you. “How about that one?” 

“Okay, well if you want to get tickets I’ll get in line for the concession,” he offered, and with a nod the two of you went your separate ways. He’d only moved up about two spots in the lineup by the time you’d purchased your tickets and went looking for him. He was texting away on his phone, ignoring everybody around him as you stepped into place beside him and gently leaned against his arm. Without even looking up from his phone he lifted his arm, letting you slip underneath it and against his side while he finished his message. 

“Sorry, just letting mom know what was going on,” he apologized, but you shook your head. You’d thought it was weird that he hadn’t already been on the phone with her. 

“Not a problem. So, know what you’re getting?” you asked, handing him his ticket while your eyes scanned the giant boards with all of the combination options in front of you. 

“That one has popcorn, a candy and two drinks? I know you don’t really like popcorn,” Chris pointed out, and you nodded. 

“Sure,” 

The movie was a nice reprieve – Chris lifted the arm rest up so the two of you could effectively cuddle up together while you watched, although neither of you paid tons of attention to the film going on in front of you. Chris’s eyes were trained on the screen but they had that faraway look in them that told you his body was here but his mind was elsewhere. You were content to mindlessly follow the movie, even if you wouldn’t have been able to tell anybody what happened afterward. Sometimes you just needed to get away and immerse yourself somewhere else, like this. 

Leaving the theater was something else though. Somebody must have recognized Chris and by the time the movie let out a small crowd of about fifteen people were waiting in the lobby looking around for a glimpse of him. You could feel Chris stiffen beside you as he noticed the crowd before they noticed him. Any other day he’d have been happier than hell to go and talk to everybody, take pictures and sign autographs, but today had been way too much for him. So instead you tugged him toward an exterior exit, one that was probably more of a fire exit but didn’t have a ‘fire exit only’ sign on it and the two of you slipped out that way. 

“Sorry, I know you usually love meeting people, but—”

“No, I just don’t think I can do it tonight,” he agreed quickly, and again pulled you in tight against him as the two of you hurried to his car. Chris would feel guilty about avoiding the crowd all night, but you both knew it was better that he did and took this time for himself when he wasn’t in the best of shape to begin with. 

“Thanks so much Claire… I don’t know what I would’ve done without you today,” he breathed against your ear outside of the car, pulling you into a nearly bone crushing hug before pressing another whisper soft kiss to your lips. Your arms hung loosely around his shoulders before you removed his hat and carded your fingers through his hair, standing on tiptoes to do so. 

“It’s okay Chris; I’m always here for you,” you reminded him, and he let out a sigh before giving you a small smile and pressing his lips to your temple before opening your car door for you. 

“Ready to go home?” you asked as he got into the driver’s seat. He nodded and soon had the two of you back in your – now shared – apartment. 

“You sure you’re okay with this? I can sleep on the couch,” he reiterated as he stripped off his T-shirt, hands on the button of his shorts. You rolled your eyes as you gathered your pajamas and started walking toward the bathroom. 

“Like you’ve stayed on the couch any of the times you’ve stayed here anyways, Chris,” you teased, and saw his face even flushed slightly. “Yes, I’m sure it’s fine. I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t.” 

“Okay, I… sorry I just…” 

“You’re worried I’m offering just because? Chris, you know that’s the anxiety talking. I know it’s hard, especially when this is such a shitty situation, but it’s okay. I’m more than happy to have you here and help you out,” you softly reminded him, and once in the bathroom changed as quickly as was possible before returning to your room, tossing your dirty clothes into the hamper and crawling into bed. Chris was still awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, looking unsure as to whether he was going to strip off his shorts and crawl into bed or go out to the living room to curl up on the couch. 

“Come on, you need some rest,” you flipped back the covers on the right hand side of the bed and patted the mattress gently. At that invitation Chris finally unbuttoned and slid out of his shorts before crawling in beside you and then wrapping his huge frame around you. Your face still burned hot, knowing he was in nothing but a pair of boxers, but it wasn’t the first time, and definitely not the last that Chris would do so. 

“Breathe with me?” you asked, and he nodded, the outline of his head just visible to you in the dark once you turned off the lamp. He pressed his forehead to yours, and matched his breath to the deep, even ones you were taking. A small meditation exercise your therapist had suggested as a way to wind down the night; if anybody needed it that night it was Chris. 

“Thanks again Claire; you’re the best,” he mumbled a few minutes later, breath warm against your neck as you rolled in his grip, both of you facing the same direction. 

“Anything for you, Chris,” you murmured back, eyelids feeling like lead as you drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to apologize now. I totally intended for this to be a totally happy, goofy-ass story... and instead it's turning a bit dramatic. Partially because I had a new idea, and partially because my jokes are lame, and I know they're lame so I won't force them on you guys. Please let me know what you think, and if you like where the story is going as it progresses, because I can always try to bring it back to what I had originally intended, which was more of 'snapshots' of stories of the stupid shit that they would all get into together. (Think more _Friends_ than drama). 
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, because I included a Mackie prank :)


	9. Chapter 9

“So… Chris has… moved in?” Sebastian asked, plopping himself down into the seat across the table from you at catering for lunch. The two of you had really similar filming schedules for the next couple weeks, seeing as your characters were technically on the run _together_ and all, while Chris, Scarlett and Anthony were all running on a separate schedule. You blushed but shrugged, not sure of how to explain the situation to him. Chris’s apartment fiasco had happened a week ago already, and the more digging the repair crew did into the building the more problems they seemed to find. What had first sounded like a three-week project was slowly losing its timetable. Not that you minded; Chris had been working to make himself ‘useful’ while staying in your place, which meant he insisted on doing the dishes, apparently, and he liked to keep on top of the vacuuming, which again you couldn’t complain about. The two of you jived well together. 

“Well, I’m sure he told you about the mess that happened with his apartment?” you asked, and Sebastian nodded, his fork chasing around a piece of zucchini on his plate. “So I suggested he just stay with me while it’s getting fixed. We spend most of our time between each others’ places anyway, so why not?” 

“It’s just… isn’t that a big step? I mean, seeing as you’re dating and all?” Sebastian asked, before stuffing a large bite of his lunch into his mouth so you couldn’t ask him to elaborate, effectively forcing you to answer his question. Your face was burning so hot you were sure he could feel the heat from where he was sitting. 

“I… no? Yes? I don’t know… I didn’t really think of it like that,” you admitted, and he raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I understood, obviously, but like… he needed a place and I had the room and we always hang out anyway, so it just makes sense.” 

“But your apartment is a one bedroom,” 

“Yeah, and…?” 

With that you realized what Sebastian had just implied and learned all without asking a damn thing, and you became hyper focused on the asparagus and salmon sitting on your plate. Sebastian had this really frustrating way of just getting to you and flustering you without even trying, and you didn’t know whether it was his bright blue eyes or easy smile or the way he always seemed such a contradictory combination of relaxed but hesitant and goofy but serious all at once. 

“I see,” 

“Seb… it’s fine. Chris’s staying with me until his place gets fixed, it’s not weird… and yeah it’s a one bedroom but we work together really well. I mean, we work well living together… I guess is what I’m saying. We get along and haven’t had any issues with it,” you stumbled over your words until you were too embarrassed and stuffed a mouthful of salmon in to shut yourself up. 

“I’m just saying… it’s a big step to move in with someone. Rita and I… we’ve been together like four years and we’ve never even discussed moving in together,” he sighed, and with that your head snapped up. Sebastian’s eyes were down, as he chased another piece of his dinner around his plate with his fork, and you quietly waited for him to elaborate. He rarely ever talked about his relationship, at least to you, to the point that you hadn’t even been sure he’d been in one at all, except for Anthony Mackie’s comments here and there. 

“It can be a big step,” you allowed, and saw his shoulders droop slightly. 

“So is committing four years to somebody,” he sighed, and you realized what it was. Maybe Sebastian was on a very different page about all of this for a reason. 

“Are you wanting to move in with her?” you asked, and saw him tense up visibly before his blue eyes slowly connected with yours. His cheeks heated up before he shrugged. 

“I mean… four years is a long time. I guess… I just always thought… if you were gonna be with someone that long it’d be this super serious thing. Living together, talking about getting married, having a family, you know?” he spoke so quietly you could hardly catch his words, but you felt your heart break for him all the same. That must have been why he was so concerned about Chris moving into your place for the time being, about the seriousness of it all because as far as the world knew you and Chris had only been together a little over a month. 

“Seb… I’m sorry; that must be incredibly difficult. Have you talked to her about it at all?” 

“Tried to. Seems like if I try to talk about it we fight. So I’ve talked about it less and less,” he answered, and then ran a hand through his long hair before those steel-blue eyes were on yours again. “Just… I just don’t get how the two of you living together can be so blasé while I’ve been with someone for four years and it’s not even on the table.” 

“Well…” you started, mulling over your words and trying to find some kind of non-confrontational way to continue the conversation with him. “Everybody’s different, but more than that every relationship is different. And Chris isn’t moving in permanently, at least we haven’t talked about it being permanent. So I think that makes a big difference. It’s more like one person is in the other’s city visiting so you’d just stay together, but you know at the end of it you’re both still going to your own homes. Does that even make sense?” 

“Yeah, yeah it does. I understand… it’s not permanent so it’s not as serious. But then isn’t it weird when you’re basically playing house with someone knowing it’ll stop?” he pushed, and blushed at his choice of words. Sometimes he worded things strangely, thanks to English having been his second language, but that seemed oddly intentional on his part. 

“I… I haven’t thought about it, to be honest. And who knows what will end up happening after. Maybe… maybe we’ll want to keep staying together,” you quietly answered, and saw Seb openly stare at you before he closed his mouth with an audible little snap and returned his attention to his meal. 

“Sorry… I didn’t want to upset you. I just… I just don’t understand, I guess,” he apologized a few minutes later, and you nodded. You accepted the apology, you just weren’t done processing all of this new information and weren’t sure what to say until your brain had gone through it. 

“I just… just don’t want you guys to get hurt if this whole living together thing doesn’t work, I guess,” he blurted out yet a few more minutes later, and you blushed again. 

“We’ll be fine, Seb. We’re adults, we’ll figure it out. But… thanks for worrying,” you offered him a small smile, which he struggled to return before the two of you finished your meals in silence, and then Chris and crew filed into the catering area, all talking and joking loudly. Chris’s grin grew when he spotted you, and only faltered a moment as he took in Sebastian and the fact you were both sitting in silence and mulling things over. You gave him a small smile, and he soon had seated himself on your right, thigh touching yours and brushed his lips against your temple before eyeing up Sebastian. 

“You okay? You look a little out of sorts,” he asked, and Sebastian seemed to prickle at the question; he tensed, and forced himself to relax before giving Chris a pointed look. 

“Just thinking through some things,” was all he said, and you groaned internally, knowing that wasn’t enough to satisfy Chris’s curiosity and odds were it was going to bite him in the ass. It usually did. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. Like how some people can be with someone for years and never move in together and some people can see someone for a month and move into their place,” Sebastian dryly responded, and Chris paled as Anthony and Scarlett both gawked at him. You shook your head slightly, and then Chris seemed to sort of steel himself. 

“Okay? Everybody moves at their own paces, you know? All depends on the people and the relationship. There’s nothing wrong if it’s good with both of you,” he answered, and you felt your face heating up again under your cast mates intense looks as Chris draped an arm over your shoulders, his sea blue eyes locked with the ice blue ones across from the two of you. 

“Hold the damn phone; you two moved in together? I only found out like two weeks ago you were even seeing each other?” Anthony demanded, and you nearly chuckled at him. 

“Chris’s apartment is one of the ones that was affected with that huge water leak thing. I couldn’t let him be kicked out to the streets or a hotel,” you joked, and Anthony nodded before turning to Chris. 

“So you just moved into her place?” 

“She insisted! Claire offered and insisted, and I mean, we spend so much time together anyway, and it’s only for a few weeks…” 

“You guys, let me tell you something. You’re telling yourself now it’s just for a few weeks but when those few weeks are up it ain’t gonna stop. Believe me. If you’re doing this you’re in for it, both of you,” Anthony told you, and both you and Chris shared a look before shrugging. You really didn’t mind sharing a place with him, even if it could be a little odd at times crawling into bed with your best friend. 

“Well so far it’s been really great, so who knows?” Chris allowed, and with that Sebastian abruptly stood up from the table and left, leaving the four of you a little shocked. 

“Is he really okay?” Scarlett asked, and you sighed and shrugged. 

“I don’t know, he didn’t really want to talk about it. I think it’s something with him and Rita… but you know he doesn’t really talk about her either,” you explained, knowing it didn’t really answer Scarlett’s question. She nodded, before watching him walk away in the direction of his trailer. Your lunch break would be up in another twenty minutes, but you were content to sit and visit with Chris, Anthony and Scarlett for the entirety that was left. 

“I think he’s just a little shell shocked you guys are moving so fast when he and Rita aren’t. I think he’s got the baby bug and she is calling a hard no on anything and everything lately,” Anthony casually explained, and you nearly choked on your drink, as did Chris. 

“Sebastian? As in, _our_ Romanian Sebastian, has the baby bug?” Chris gasped, and Anthony shrugged. 

“He’s been talking a lot about wanting to settle down and the whole nine yards lately. Just sounds like Rita isn’t on the same page and that’s where all their fighting is coming from,” Anthony told you, and you felt bad for Sebastian all over again. You couldn’t imagine wanting those things and the person who was supposed to be your partner in all of it not wanting them. 

“That would be awful…” you mumbled, and soon Chris’s arm was around your shoulder giving you a soft hug. 

“Yeah, it would be. But they’ll get it figured out, don’t worry too much okay?” he asked, and you nodded even as Anthony and Scarlett both told you the same thing. 

“Well, I gotta head to set or Joe will have my head,” you joked a little while later, standing up to throw out your garbage and head out. Chris stood and walked with you, and pulled you into a hug once you’d dumped your trash. 

“Seriously; Seb will be okay. Anthony and I’ll talk to him, so don’t worry,” he repeated, and you gave him a thankful smile. You hated seeing people unhappy and hurting and even worse than that you hated seeing your friends in that state.

“Thanks Chris,” 

“And don’t let anything he or Mackie said about me staying with you get to you either; they’re just being guys. You know how much I appreciate you letting me crash at your place while mine is out of commission,” he added, and you nodded once again, your eyes fluttering shut at the soft kiss Chris pressed to your lips before you knew you were about to be running late. 

“Thanks Chris. I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?” you gave him a smile and a squeeze of a hug, waving to Anthony and Scarlett over your shoulder as you took off in direction of soundstage B where you’d be shooting again. Sebastian was already there, and wasn’t looking any better than he had been when he’d stalked away from the table twenty-five minutes earlier. You offered him a small smile, and while he attempted to return it, he failed kind of miserably. You both listened to the quick rundown Joe gave you, referencing the script and he then gave you both ten minutes to re-run through the lines before they got the cameras rolling. As soon as you had the opportunity you wrapped Sebastian up in a hug, which caught him off guard before his arms slowly and gently wrapped around you. 

“I’m so sorry you’re going through all of that right now. You don’t have to tell me anything about it, just know we’re here for you, no matter what, okay?” you whispered, and then Sebastian squeezed you tight as he nodded. 

“Thanks. It’s just been rough,” his voice was thick and a little raspy with emotion, and you nodded before letting him go. He offered you a sad smile this time, and then the two of you had to pack real life away and get into character good and proper. 

“If you don’t want to have to find something yourself… Chris and I are making chicken with asparagus for supper. Just… if you want company or something,” you offered once Joe had called cut for the two of you for the night. Sebastian seemed startled at the offer, before he shyly shrugged. 

“I... uh… well…” 

“No pressure, I mean it. But the offer’s on the table if you’re interested,” you repeated, and after debating with himself for a few minutes he nodded. 

“Yeah, uh, that would be nice. Thanks Claire,” he answered, and you gave him a smile and a nod. After heading to the costume department and getting changed back into your own clothes you went looking for Chris. After poking around a bit you found him and Scarlett still shooting on one of the smaller sets, and Anthony informed you that there were a few other scenes that they wanted to have done before the day was over. 

“It’ll just be another hour or so, if that’s okay? Do you wanna head home and I’ll cab out?” Chris suggested. You nodded, and he told you where he put his car keys that morning. With a quick squeeze of a hug he jogged back to his mark and gave you a wave. You returned it, and headed back toward your trailer to gather up your bag and head back to your apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going to apologize first for all of my recent apologizing... (I'm Canadian, what can ya do?) but amongst all aforementioned issues, my new place does not yet have internet. And seeing as I don't know if I'm going to be staying here (due to other issues... you don't wanna know) I'm not sure what my posting game is going to be like. But I hope you guys like this chapter!!


	10. Chapter 10

“Come in!” you called, wrist deep in slicing up chicken breast and making the sauce that Chris’s mom had emailed him the day before as an option for changing up the slightly boring meal plan you were both on. The door slowly opened and you heard tentative footsteps before seeing Sebastian, cheeks a soft shade of pink, as he slowly let himself in. 

“Sorry, I would have got the door but…” you shrugged, and he nodded with a bit of a chuckle before he seemed to shuffle from foot to foot.

“So, uh, nice place,” he offered, and you chuckled. 

“It does the trick. Come on in, make yourself at home; if you want something to drink there’s water, juice, milk… there might even be a beer in the fridge from that last cheat night we all had,” you told him, and saw his eyes light up a tiny bit before he sheepishly made his way to the fridge and got one out. 

“Do you want a drink?” he asked, and you gestured to the glass of wine sitting on the counter. 

“Thanks, but I’m covered,” you giggled, and he awkwardly stood in the middle of the kitchen. 

“Can I help? I feel so weird just sitting here while you’re busy,” he finally blurted, and you laughed, feeling some of the awkwardness fade away from the room as you soon had him set up with the tablet showing the recipe for the sauce. Sebastian took a sip of his beer before rolling up his sleeves and busying himself beside you, humming something under his breath as he did so. It was comfortable, the two of you making some small talk while preparing dinner, and you realized that you’d completely relaxed – like, the kind of relaxed you were around Chris or your family – and found yourself smiling at the thought. 

“What? Am I making an idiot of myself and not knowing it?” Sebastian asked, eyeing your grin. The way one corner of his mouth was tugged up slightly told you he was teasing, but there was just enough concern in those steel grey eyes to let you know he was also a tiny bit worried. 

“Just thinking, that’s all,” you tried to shrug it off but her persisted, until you raised an eyebrow at him. “Just thinking… sometimes it’s really hard for me to be relaxed around people. Like… outside of my family, a couple friends and Chris it hardly ever happens. I was just thinking about the fact I feel really relaxed here with you.” 

You could feel the heat on your cheeks as they turned pink, and you quickly busied yourself with getting asparagus out of the fridge and a few other vegetables so that Sebastian wouldn’t see the blush. 

“I… wow. Thanks, I guess,” he responded, and you saw he looked similarly as flustered, which helped you relax a tiny bit. 

“You’re welcome?” it came out as a question, and after a moment’s pause the two of you broke out into laughter, letting the tension fade away once again. 

“I get it; when I was a kid I had a really hard time getting comfortable with people too,” Sebastian told you, and used his elbow to push some hair from his face. “I was the weird foreign kid who didn’t speak English… and then I learned English and I still didn’t fit in… some of the kids were just so… determined to be mean to me. It just kind of went from there I guess; it’s hard to let your guard down when you’re so used to having to protect yourself.” 

“Seb that’s awful; I can’t imagine. I had a hard enough time in school and I did speak English… I just never could understand how some people are so determined to be mean,” you sighed, and he nodded before shrugging. 

“Me either. But I mean, not like we can change it. I think I learned a lot about myself after all was said and done and the friends I made were amazing,” he quickly added, and you sent him a smile. 

“I’m glad… I only had like two good friends when I was in school… one of them I unfortunately lost touch with and the other is still my best friend,” you continued, and he smiled. 

“That’s good. It’s nice to have those people who know you that well,” he agreed, and again you fell into comfortable, companionable silence. 

“Hey, look, about earlier today—”

“Seb it’s okay, honest,” 

“No, I just… I’m sorry I was kind of an ass. It’s just… a lot for me to wrap my head around,” he continued, and you shrugged. 

“Understandable… from what you said… I’d feel the same way in your shoes,” you told him, but he sighed and turned to face you, leaning on the counter facing you and you realized just how damn close he’d gotten in that movement. 

“No, it’s not understandable. I was an asshole about it and you and Chris didn’t deserve that. So I am sorry,” 

“Well, apology more than accepted Sebastian,” you smiled, and he nodded, before grinning and eyeing you. 

“You know, you can call me Seb; seems to be everybody’s favorite nickname for me,” 

“Well… is there one you prefer?” you asked, and he thought on it for a second before he burst out into laughter. 

“When I was a kid… there was a girl I was friends with when we moved to Vienna and she called me Baz; I never really figured out why but that was it. I kinda like it,” he told you, and after a moment, rolling the name over in your mind you tried it out. 

“Well, ‘Baz’… it does kind of suit you,” you grinned, and he laughed before shrugging. 

“So, I mean, if you wanna use that I’m cool with it,” he chuckled at you, before you both turned back to finishing up putting dinner together so it could all go in the oven. Sebastian hovered, wanting to help but understanding that there wasn’t much to be done except for everything to be put into the pan. That didn’t stop him from asking several times if there was anything else he could do.

“So… you and Chris eh? Can’t say I saw that coming,” he asked as you closed the oven and set the timer. Sebastian washed his hands and retreated to the couch with his beer can, having evidently relaxed considerably more in the past fifteen minutes than when he’d arrived. 

“Yeah, seems kind of crazy sometimes,” you replied, getting your glass and savoring a few sips of it before joining him. Sebastian didn’t scoot over to the far side of the couch, remaining where he was, his knee nearly touching yours when you sat down on the far right, leaning against the arm rest slightly. 

“I just… seems like a weird match. I mean, not that you guys don’t seem good together and all, but…” he was soon tripping over his words a bit, and you let him blush and stammer for a few moments before breaking and giggling. 

“It’s okay, I think I understand what you mean. You just wouldn’t have ever guessed it?” you supplied, and he let out a groan, leaning his head back before giving you a very good puppy-dog pout. 

“You let me suffer through that when you knew exactly what I meant?”

“Come on, it was funny,” you insisted, patting his cheek before he broke and grinned as well. 

“Sure, sure. And yeah. I guess I just wouldn’t have pegged the two of you for being a couple,” 

“Me either, to be honest,” you admitted, and saw the surprise on Sebastian’s face. “Don’t look at me like that Baz! He’s like my best friend… in my experience best friends tend to stay best friends, you know?” 

“But I mean… don’t you want to be with someone who’s your best friend too?” 

“Yes, but I… oh jesus…” you groaned, wondering how on earth you were going to explain the ridiculousness that was your and Chris’s ‘relationship’ without outing the fact it was a front that kept getting more confusing as time went by. “We just connected really well off the get go, but we became such good friends… I didn’t really think that it would go anywhere else. And come on… look at the girls he’s dated and look at me… he’s very definitely out of my league.” 

As soon as the words were out of your mouth you felt ridiculous… this wasn’t the sort of thing Sebastian needed or wanted to hear, and you didn’t know what had possessed you to say it in the first place. It had just kind of come out and now you felt ridiculous for admitting it. The fact was true; when you saw pictures of the girls Chris had dated – even his most recent ex – you saw beautiful, model-esque women, and when you looked in the mirror you tended to see average. 

“That’s bullshit,” Sebastian told you, startling you out of your embarrassment. 

“Huh?” 

“You’re every bit as beautiful as any one of those women, if not more,” he insisted, his voice soft, and you felt yourself swallow hard as your face heated up and you felt like your body didn’t want to behave normally. Like any movement you tried to make was awkward and uncoordinated and you were so unsure of what to do. Sebastian appeared to feel it a moment later and soon was fidgeting in a very similar fashion. 

“I, uh, thanks,” you mumbled, head down as you stared at your hands, and then felt Sebastian’s hand on your shoulder. 

“I meant it, I just, sorry it came out so weird,” he chuckled, and you finally braved a glance up at him. His eyes were soft, and after taking in his features you were a little surprised to see that he was being completely honest. 

“I—”

“Hey! Sorry I took so long, but you know how Scar gets sometimes about wanting to just _nail_ a shot, man it smells good in here. Did Seb come over? I know you’d invited him…” Chris burst in, in almost full monologue fashion, which was really common for him. He tended to get on a roll and could talk for several minutes without another half of conversation until he realized what was happening. In this case, it was seeing you and Sebastian sitting awkwardly on the couch together. 

“Yeah, he helped me get supper ready,” you answered, standing up and making your way over to Chris as he dropped his duffle bag and smiled over. You walked into his arms, feeling his hands settle softly just above your hips and met the soft kiss he pressed to your lips. “How was the rest of your shoot? You look exhausted.”

“A little bit. Just a lot of movement in that sequence, but it’ll look awesome. So, welcome to the place, Seb,” he spoke over your shoulder to his friend who had stood moments after you had, and when you turned slightly you could see he was awkwardly standing in the living room, looking as unsure of what to do as he had when he’d first arrived. 

“Thanks for inviting me, I appreciate it,” he answered, and then Chris let go of you to make his way into the living room, sitting in the easy chair and gesturing for Sebastian to sit back down. You went and checked the progress of dinner in the oven, before you got the last beer from the fridge and took it into the living room for Chris. 

“Oh, thanks babe,” he grinned, and you took your seat back beside Sebastian, picking up your phone and taking a moment to go through Instagram while the two of them visited away. 

“Hello? Claire?” your head snapped up at Chris’s voice, and you blinked slowly, which let him know you’d been a million miles away while they’d talked. 

“I was just asking if you’d be interested in going out for a run on that trail on Monday? Mackie, Renner, and Hemsworth are all in,” he explained. 

“Oh, uh, well how fast do I have to run?” you asked, making both men chuckle. 

“Well, you can jog if you want,” Chris allowed, and you smiled. 

“Then I’ll come check it out. You coming?” you asked, turning toward Sebastian who seemed to deflate slightly for a few moments. 

“No, I uh, Rita is supposed to come out and visit,” he mumbled, which seemed confusing. He should be excited that his girlfriend was coming out to visit, because it had sounded like he hadn’t had the chance to see her for a couple of months between his previous filming project and starting this one. 

“Oh that’ll be fun! Aren’t you excited to see her?” you asked, and he shrugged, picking at the tab on his beer can. 

“I… yes? But no,” he sighed. “I want to see her… I’m just not sure it’s gonna be a good visit, I guess. She’s been really distant lately and every time we talk it seems like we fight… I’m a little worried.” 

Your heart shattered, and you were almost sure Chris could hear it. Sebastian was afraid they were going to break up. It must have been even worse if Anthony Mackie was right and he was really gearing toward settling down and wanting to get married and have kids and the whole thing. 

“Oh God… Baz…” you mumbled, putting a hand on his shoulder. He was shaking very slightly, and he swallowed hard before shrugging. 

“It is what it is, I guess. Maybe I’m wrong… I hope I’m wrong, but…” 

“You have a bad feeling?” you finished the sentence for him and he nodded. Chris’ brows were knit together and he took a long swig of his beer. 

“I’m sure it’ll be okay Seb, don’t worry too much, all right?” Chris offered, and Sebastian nodded before trying to force a smile. The entire atmosphere in the apartment changed, and you were unsure of what to do to try and remedy it. The three of you were quiet for a while, until Chris finally blurted something awkward about wanting to start looking at some new scripts to find a new directing project and wondering if Seb would take a look at anything he went through. While Sebastian reiterated he had no interest in directing, he would be more than happy to take a peak at any scripts that Chris was interested in if he wanted a second opinion. Soon they were talking about projects and scripts they’d seen and what sort of projects they were interested in looking at. Slowly the tension diffused and Sebastian came back out of his shell, thankfully. 

When the timer went off you quickly excused yourself from the living room to take dinner out and get the salad you’d premade out of the fridge, bringing out the ingredients to put together the dressing. Chris was soon helping, getting out plates and cutlery and setting the table for the three of you while Sebastian hovered and was again trying to find ways to help. 

“It’s okay, honest Baz. Just sit down, enjoy yourself. Can I get you something else to drink? Sorry we don’t have any more beer,” 

“Just water is great, thanks. I can get it Claire; you’re trying to get that organized,” he insisted, and soon the three of you were enjoying dinner, laughing and visiting, even if Sebastian seemed to make a rushed exit after he’d helped the two of you clean up. There was a bit of weird tension between him and Chris that you had never seen before, and while you wanted to ask knew better; with Seb being so all over the place emotionally you didn’t want to bring up something that could make it worse. You gave him a hug before he managed to escape out the door, and he pulled you in close, his shoulders drooping as he leaned slightly on you before whispering a thanks and then leaving with a quick wave to Chris. 

You and Chris both stood a little shocked after the door had closed behind him, before you turned to each other and simultaneously shrugged. 

“That was… different,” Chris acknowledged, before eyeing you up. “You two seemed pretty cozy when I got here.” 

“Don’t even Chris,” you rolled your eyes, walking over to him and leaning on him while he instinctively wrapped his arms around you. “We had just been talking, which was nice, considering we haven’t done tons of that. He also apologized for kind of storming off earlier today, and now I know exactly why he was upset about it. Poor guy.” 

“Yeah, fuck that’s an awful situation. I really hope he’s wrong and that’s not why Rita’s coming out to see him,” Chris agreed, resting his chin on top of your head while both of you stood there and just breathed; Chris’s scent was comforting and familiar and you inhaled it, feeling yourself relaxing in his arms. 

“You’re tense,” he murmured, and you nodded. 

“A lot on my brain,” you admitted, and he kissed the top of your head before he pulled away. He made his way into the bathroom, and so you puttered around the kitchen doing a few last things before he was back, wrapping himself around you from behind as you looked out the window. 

“I’ve got a bath running for you; you need some time to just relax,” Chris informed you, his voice soft as he rested his chin on your shoulder and leaned his head against yours. 

“Chris you didn’t have to do that,” 

“Yes I did. Now go; I can clean up,” he insisted, and you kissed his cheek before doing as he said. He’d even put lavender scented Epsom salts in, and you could smell the soft, calming scent the moment you walked into the bathroom, a smile coming to your lips at the thought Chris had put into this for you, even if it only took him a few minutes. You’d never been with somebody who didn’t just say you needed time to yourself, but ensured you got it in a way you enjoyed. 

And you weren’t even with him, really. It was starting to worry you, though, that maybe you were catching feelings for your best friend, because he was starting to act more and more like a boyfriend with you, and not just around other people. Even in the privacy of the apartment he had very boyfriend-like tendencies, and it was starting to get to you. You quickly stripped down and got into the tub, content to let it fill the rest of the way with you already in the water as your brain worked over all of this. Chris was… in a word, amazing. But all of this was based on the understanding you were best friends, nothing more. You _couldn’t_ start feeling things for him; it was only going to make life messy and ruin your friendship. 

With a loud sigh you sunk into the water, closing your eyes and trying to convince your brain to relax. Sebastian’s pale blue eyes floated in front of you, behind your eyelids, and you wondered why on earth he was on your brain as well. Maybe it was the fact that the two of you had actually connected on something and now you knew just how badly he was hurting, but there was something about his little half smile and knowing looks that tugged at your insides a tiny bit. 

God you were a mess.


	11. Chapter 11

“Come on, you need to get out of this apartment for a night,” you burst into Sebastian’s bachelor suite, already knowing he was going to be a little startled before arguing with you. It had been a month since he’d been at your and Chris’s place – and it was still yours and Chris’s place, much like Mackie had said – and while Rita hadn’t come out that first weekend she had the week after and, much like Sebastian had been afraid of, they’d gotten into a huge fight and called everything off for a bit. It left Sebastian an emotional mess who didn’t like to leave his apartment except to go to work, and you were worried about him. Even though the two of you had gotten closer in the past month – his new nickname of Baz having stuck completely for you – he was pulling away as of late. He was pulling away from everyone, and everybody was getting more and more worried about his emotional well-being.

“Claire, please,” 

“Baz, come on. You only work and then burrow yourself in here and don’t talk to anyone,” you sighed, flopping onto the couch where he was currently wrapped up in blankets like a burrito even though it was a million degrees and you could see the sweat beading on his forehead. It was like he was trying to punish himself somehow. 

“That’s not true,” 

“Oh yes it is. Wanna know how true it is Baz? Your mom managed to find my number and call me because she hasn’t talked to you since you and Rita broke up. Me, Baz… she doesn’t know me from Adam and wanted to talk to me because you’d mentioned coming over to me and Chris’s for supper the last time she’d talked to you,” you gently reprimanded him, and he groaned before dropping his head into his hands. You put a supportive hand on his back, rubbing the muscle before you began unwrapping the layers of blankets from him. 

“Claire I just… I just can’t right now,” he mumbled, making no move to stop you as you soon had peeled him out of three layers of blankets, the last one slightly damp with sweat and smelling like him. His t-shirt was clinging to his skin, leaving little to the imagination; he may as well have been sprayed down with a hose. 

“I know it’s hard, I know,” you soothed, again rubbing his back before gently turning his chin so he would look at you. “But this? This isn’t healthy either Sebastian. I’m worried about you; everybody is worried about you. So we are going to go out for dinner and get you out of this apartment for a few hours, and then you’re going to give your mom a quick call. You can even use me as an out if you start getting upset, all right?” 

“I hate when you’re right,” he grumbled, but his eyes were still soft before he leaned over and rested his head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him, before realizing again just how hot he’d been under those blankets and how sweaty he was now.

“First things first; get your ass into the shower, okay? I don’t know what possessed you to wrap yourself up in three blankets when it’s a million degrees outside…” you teased, getting a bark of a laugh from him as he stood up, letting the blankets fall to the couch from where they’d been around his waist. His gym shorts also looked slightly damp, and you crinkled your nose at how gross that had to feel for him. 

“Okay, I’m going. Can we… can we just go for dinner though? I’m really not up to doing anything else,” he begged, and you nodded. 

“Just dinner. Then you can come back to our place and watch a movie. Chris is dying to see that new horror movie that’s on Netflix and I have zero interest in giving myself nightmares for the next week,” you informed him, and he groaned but continued on his way to the bathroom and went in. It only took moments for the water to start running and you pulled out your phone to text Chris that so far so good. 

_He’s going to come get dinner… and then I’m bringing him back to the apartment to watch a movie with you. He only complained a bit._

_Good! Great! I’ll get popcorn! You two have fun, ok? Wish I could come out for dinner too… Chris answered, and you chuckled at him, knowing he’d be pouting at his phone. He and Mackie were working on some stunt work today, and almost everybody else had the evening off._

_I’ll pick you up something, okay?_

_You. Are. The. Best. I don’t care what anyone says_ was his reply, and with that you sent him back a smiley face before slipping your phone back into your pocket. Sebastian’s apartment showed the fact that he’d been neglecting himself obviously; aside from the blanket situation there was a pile of dishes in the sink, a few emptied beer bottles on the counter and a half-empty vodka bottle shoved into the corner. You made quick work of the dishes; unloading the dishwasher – noticing he’d been taking dishes out of it to use instead of unloading and reloading – and loading it back up, getting it ready to go as soon as he was out of the shower. From there you gave the counter tops a quick wipe, placing the beer bottles into the sink so you could rinse them once he was out, and then tidied up the small table and his living room. The blanket that was in the worst shape was put into the washing machine hidden away in the closet off of his living room, again ready to be turned on once he was out of the shower, when you heard the shower turn off. 

You turned to head back to the couch as the bathroom door opened and instead you found yourself looking at Sebastian in nothing but a towel, and he turned the same shade of pink you did when you both realized the situation you were in. 

“Uh, sorry, I, uh,” he gestured with his thumb toward the wall that mostly separated his bedroom from the rest of the apartment, even though the fourth wall was open facing the outside wall and window. You blushed and stuttered and averted your eyes to the floor, trying to ignore his huge, defined shoulders and incredibly toned abs as you retreated toward his kitchen and he all but sprinted behind the wall that hid his bed from the rest of the apartment. You let out a long breath and tried to relax as you started the dishwasher, rinsed the beer bottles and moved to start the washing machine for him, as if that would somehow eliminate what had just transpired between the two of you. 

“Sorry, I should’ve said something or taken clothes in or something,” you jumped when Sebastian’s voice startled you and he emerged from behind the wall, a T-shirt haphazardly thrown on and a pair of shorts on. He gave his hair one last tousle with the towel before tossing it back into the bathroom, and walking to where you were standing, his cheeks still a little pink. 

“No, uh, it’s fine, I mean…” you stuttered, and then dropped your head once again as you failed to figure out what you meant to say. 

“Can we pretend that never happened?” he asked, and you could’ve cried with relief. 

“Yes please,” you agreed, and then both let out an awkward laugh before he seemed to realize you’d gone through his tiny space. 

“I… you didn’t have to…” 

“Sorry, I know I should’ve asked, I just… didn’t want to sit here awkwardly,” you mumbled, but he shook his head. 

“You didn’t have to clean up my mess,” he argued, and you simply raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s okay to need a little help,” you softly reminded him, and he gave you a thankful smile before walking back to the bathroom. 

“I’ll just comb my hair and we can go, okay?” he called, and you nodded, moving the beer bottles to the little plastic recycling bin he had by the door. He came back out looking more like his usual self, hair combed back off of his face, and you couldn’t help but grin. 

“Can I?” 

“Oh god… do you mean…?” he asked, and you gave him your absolute best pout. Everybody had been teasing him about wearing a man bun; Scarlett had even gotten one on him and it looked decent. He’d worn it before, after Cap Two, but seemed to be fighting it since. 

“Please? Puh-lease Baz?” you asked, and after rolling his eyes he sat down on the edge of the couch and turned his back toward you, giving you full access to his hair. 

“You’re the best,” you grinned, squeezing his shoulders in a hug before running your fingers through his long, silky hair. You still had trouble believing sometimes that he’d grown it out three times before to be Bucky Barnes and that he had no issues in doing so. Chris’s hair started to bother him if it got too long and he got very vocal about it. You’d heard all about the stories. 

Soon you’d finger combed his chocolate colored locks into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck and teased the strands into a small messy bun. 

“It really does look good on you,” you insisted, and he raised an eyebrow at you as he stood. 

“I look like a goofball,” 

“You look handsome,” you corrected him, and he laughed and shook his head but didn’t move to pull the ponytail holder out of his hair, leaving it be. With that he followed you out of his apartment only grabbing his keys; after a few moments of debate his phone stayed on the coffee table. 

“So, what do you feel like eating?” you asked as the two of you got into your car. Sebastian hummed for a moment, blue eyes focused ahead of him as he weighed his options. 

“I could really go for a burger,” he finally responded, and your stomach let out a happy gurgle in response, making you giggle even as he smiled over at you while he did up his seatbelt. 

“Should I take that as a yes?” he asked, and you nodded. 

“So… where’s the best place to get burgers around here? You’re going to have to be my GPS,” you informed him, and soon Sebastian was reading Yelp reviews on his phone and asking your opinion while the two of you made the ten-minute drive into the main part of the city. By the time traffic started getting heavier you’d decided on a place, and he easily instructed you through the turns and everything to get there. 

“Ooh, Baz this looks good!” you excitedly told him, gripping his arm for an instant. He laughed and nodded in agreement, patting the back of your hand on his bicep for a moment before leading the two of you to a table. 

“God… look at this! Chocolate milkshakes… banana splits… Baz this might have been a bad place to come eat,” you worried, chewing on your lip for a moment before catching yourself. 

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he mischievously grinned over his menu at you, and you let out a laugh before nodding. You ordered essentially the same thing; a loaded burger with a salad as a side – to help counter act how unhealthy everything else was – with a chocolate milkshake for you and a strawberry milkshake for him. After that the two of you started visiting away; you told him about Mackie’s latest stunts on set while he told you about the stories Chace told him last time they’d talked. You didn’t mention that Chace had gotten a hold of Chris, also trying to see whether Sebastian was all right or not after the whole breakup thing. Rita had dropped Sebastian’s stuff off at his apartment and picked up her things, and left her key with Chace so that she and Sebastian didn’t even have to see each other over it, which you thought was a little unnecessary. You pulled out your phone as it buzzed – a text from Chris – before sending one to the number that didn’t have any contact information attached to it in your phone. You hadn’t anticipated Sebastian leaving his phone at his apartment, but you knew his mother was at the end of her frayed nerves worrying about him. 

Your phone began to buzz, and you spent an extra second looking at the number - even though you truly did recognize it – before handing it over to him with a pointed look. It took him all of five seconds to pale slightly and know who it was, as the waitress dropped your food off at the table. 

“Claire, I can’t…” 

“Baz, just say hi, let her know I’ve got you out of the apartment for a bit, having dinner, and that you’re going to hang out with us after. She just wants to know you’re okay,” you softly insisted, putting your hand over his. With a sigh and a pointed look that told you that you weren’t out of the woods with him yet he connected the call.

“Hi Mama,” he said, a tired smile on his face as he tried to disguise his voice a tiny bit for her. 

“Yes, yes I’m fine, honest I am,” he answered, the pauses where his mother was speaking to him a bit lengthy. 

“I’m out for dinner with Claire right now… Mama! Jesus… no, she and Chris are… yes, I know… she’s just being nice. She all but hauled my ass out of the apartment,” he sighed, giving you a grin as he rolled his eyes. While Sebastian may never have admitted it he seemed to come to life a little bit when talking with his mom, and you were glad you’d given him no option. 

“No… Mama, se întâlnește cu unul dintre cei mai buni prieteni,” he told her, and you contented yourself with eating your salad, having no qualms about letting him speak with her as long as he needed to. 

“No, please don’t say that… Rita nu este o persoană rea ... ea vrea doar lucruri diferite, cred,” he continued, and after that you zoned out slightly watching the little television in the far corner of the restaurant. It wasn’t a conversation you should hear, even if you somehow could magically understand Romanian. 

“Ea și Chris au grijă de mine, îți promit. Am nevoie doar de ceva timp. Voi fi bine, eu promit,” he insisted, his foot brushing yours and he shrugged as if in apology and gave you a soft smile. 

“I should go though, Mama; our dinner is here and I’m being poor company,” Sebastian explained, and after a quick pause he promised his mother he’d call the next day, and after a quick goodbye, letting her know he loved her, he hung up and handed your phone back to you. You were a little sheepish, but knew you’d done the right thing; it both comforted his mother and even in the forty minutes or so that the two of you had spent together since you’d gotten him out of his apartment he’d perked up considerably. It was getting him out and about so he couldn’t wallow on the breakup that would help; making sure he took care of himself in the meantime of dealing with everything. 

“Sorry, I just—”

“No, I understand. Mama was worried, and she can be a little overwhelming when she wants something,” he chuckled. “But you were right… I should have called her before and I’m glad you made me do it.” 

“I’m just glad you aren’t pissed at me,” you admitted before taking a bite of your burger and nearly groaning at how amazing it tasted. “God… Baz…” 

“That good?” he asked, face lighting up as you nodded, and he quickly got a hold of his burger to take a bite. His expression mirrored how happy you felt, and how amazing the burger topped with cheese, pickles, onions, lettuce, mushrooms and bacon tasted after months of very limited – and fairly bland – healthy food. It was like heaven in food form, literally, and the milkshake helped. 

Burgers demolished, the two of you sat there visiting for a little while, needing to take a moment to digest, and to be honest you felt like Sebastian wasn’t quite ready to go back, even if it was going back to your apartment instead of his own. Maybe it was the fact that it was slowly becoming ‘yours and Chris’s’ apartment that made him hesitant, because he was now worried about not getting to have those things. Even if it was an unrealistic worry, you knew what it was like to be in that position. So you were more than happy to sit and visit as long as he wanted to, until either he suggested heading out, or Chris called asking where the two of you were.

“Well… Chris is probably wondering where we are, hey?” Sebastian asked, and while Chris had only sent a text to let him know when you guys were heading back you nodded. You ordered him a bacon cheeseburger to go, because he would be heartbroken if you didn’t, and the two of you paid up, only waiting on Chris’s food before heading back to the apartment. 

“Thank you, for this. I really appreciate it,” Sebastian said, hesitantly putting his hand over yours for a moment and giving it a soft squeeze before letting go. You sent him a smile, hoping he’d understand. 

“Not a problem, Baz. You know we just worry a bit. And seeing as you seem to be the only person who doesn’t ever just drop in to come visit…” you teased, and he chuckled before shrugging. 

“Sorry it’s just… with everything I sometimes still have a hard time with the whole you and Chris jumping in headfirst thing. I mean come on, he has no intention of going back to his apartment, right?” Sebastian pointed out, and you shrugged. In all honesty it seemed like he wasn’t going to go back, because living together was still going great, but you could see how it could be hard on Sebastian seeing that. 

“I don’t think so, it’s been going really great,” you admitted, and he nodded. 

“I know it makes me a real dick… it’s just hard to stomach you guys living together after a couple months and being more serious than my last relationship was after four years. But I mean, I am happy for you guys – don’t get me wrong on that part,” he was quick to jump in and make sure you didn’t assume anything, and you could only nod. 

“I get it; it would be really hard to be in your shoes Baz. So don’t worry, okay?” you asked, and he nodded, taking a deep breath. 

“You sure you’re okay coming and watching a movie with Chris? You don’t really seem okay,” 

“I will be, I promise,” he answered with a weak smile, and you left it at that as you pulled up in front of the apartment building. He grabbed the bag that held Chris’s burger and the two of you went upstairs. Chris was spread out on the couch, looking like he was somewhere between awake and asleep, as he started slightly when he heard the door open and close. 

“Hey, god something smells like heaven,” he groaned, and Sebastian took the takeout bag over to him. He ripped into it with a gusto you could’ve only imagined, making both you and Sebastian laugh before the two of them settled in, Chris pulling up Netflix and telling Sebastian all about this new movie he wanted to see. Sebastian was eagerly nodding along, looking completely at ease and enthralled, which surprised you considering his hesitation about coming to the apartment and hanging out just minutes earlier in the car. 

“Well, I’ll leave you boys be… I’ll be in the bedroom watching happy movies,” you informed the two of them as Chris selected the movie. They both grinned up and over at you, Sebastian asking if you were sure you didn’t want to stick around and watch; that he was positive if you sat between Captain America and Bucky Barnes that you’d be safe. 

“If only that meant safe from nightmares too,” you drawled, voice dripping with sarcasm as both of them chuckled and laughed at you. 

“What? Captain America isn’t enough to keep the nightmares at bay?” Chris teased, and Sebastian looked away for a moment, even though he forced out a small chuckle.  
“Sorry babe, but even Captain America can’t keep this kind of scary shit out of my head,” you told him, and ruffled up his hair before kissing his temple. On pure impulse you ruffled Sebastian’s hair as well as you walked by, making him yelp and swat at your hands before complaining loudly that first you’d made him wear his hair in a bun, and then had the audacity to wreck it. Chris was killing himself laughing, and you merely gave him a cheeky wave before shutting yourself in your bedroom.  
Sliding on headphones you started up Suits on your laptop, needing something to cancel out even the sounds of the horror movie that was playing in the living room, content that Chris and Sebastian were enjoying themselves. It was nice to see Sebastian happy for the first time in far to long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I apologize if anyone speaks Romanian and it's incorrect or wrong - I don't speak it myself so it's literally from Google translate... which is bad but I only know how to say a handful of things and nothing helpful in regular conversation!
> 
> Hope you guys liked it!


	12. Chapter 12

“Come on, just for the week? Then you can go home?” Chris pouted, your hands in his as he tried for the millionth time to convince you to go out to LA with him. Filming had ended, and so you’d thought you’d have some time to go home, catch up with Annie and your mother, and just take a step back from the crazy acting life for a bit. Chris, it seemed, had other plans. 

“Chris, I just booked my flights…” 

“If you can’t change them I’ll pay for your flights out. Come on, Claire; please? You can meet Scott and hang out at the house; it’ll be super low-key. We don’t even have to leave the house or the backyard if you don’t want to,” he continued trying to convince you, but you could tell that your resolve was slowly failing. He was just so damn excited about it, and then there was the fact that the idea of sitting poolside at his secluded LA home for a few days with him wasn’t exactly unappealing. 

“Ugh, fine. You’re insufferable, I hope you know that,” you told him, and he nodded eagerly before kissing your cheek. 

“It’ll be fun, I promise,” he insisted, and you rolled your eyes but let him wrap you up in a hug nonetheless. 

“Okay, so, see if you can get swapped to the eleven thirty direct flight to LAX – that’s the one I’m on. If not, text me and I’ll get your flight organized okay?” he asked, and you nodded, before watching him walk away excitedly to go and answer his ringing phone – his mother, from the ringtone. You sighed and pulled out your laptop, pulling up the booking website you’d just used the day before to see if switching your flights was even remotely possible. The apartment was all packed up, and the two of you were hanging out at Marvel’s mini, temporary office that had been set up just outside of the movie lot doing a few small interviews and some Instagram stuff.

“Hey, what’s this I hear about you going to LA?” Sebastian asked as he plopped down beside you, making himself comfortable. He was finally coming back into his own, the past couple of weeks, and he, Chris and Jeremy had gone out a few times to a pub or a bar and Chris said Sebastian was acting more like his usual self as well.

“Yeah, Chris is talking me into going and staying with him for a week before I head home,” you answered, and he chuckled. 

“He’s going to ask you to move in to his place there, any money,” he grinned, but you noticed that the smile didn’t quite reach Sebastian’s ice-blue eyes. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you shrugged him off, but he shook his head. 

“I’m not. I’m saying it because it’s true. He was talking to Mackie about it the other day,” Sebastian continued. You were a little floored; of course Chris had figured at some point you could, quote unquote, ‘move in with him’ if it made sense with the whole you guys dating thing. While the paparazzi and media seemed to love following the whole idea of the two of you dating, your friends and family were all pretty low-key involved about it. Your parents were just happy there was someone, and seeing as it had only been five months they weren’t concerned about meeting him. Chris’s mother was in the same boat; she was just happy her boy had someone in his life who kept him in line and he was happy with, and she was fine waiting for things to happen between the two of you at your own pace. Annie was finally over the fact that it was Chris Evans you were ‘dating’, so life was pretty normal. In fact, you were sure you could’ve just gone home and only really have seen Chris a few times over the next few months and nobody would have batted an eye. But for him to seem so fully immersed in this whole ‘dating’ thing now was still absolutely wrecking you emotionally. You still hadn’t managed to say a damn thing to him about it. 

“O-oh, well,” you stammered, and Sebastian grimaced. 

“Sorry. Shit, sorry I shouldn’t have said a damn thing, I’m sorry,” he repeated himself over and over, putting his arms around your shoulders as you sat there a little stunned by the new information. 

“No, Baz it’s okay, honest. I’m just… really surprised, is all,” you assured him, but he look at you in a way that made you somehow irrationally afraid that he could see right through you. 

“Do you… do you not want to move in with him? That’s more of a… permanent basis,” Sebastian softly asked, and you swallowed hard. You were such a stupid mix of emotions as it was, you had no idea how to even try and explain it to him. You knew you liked Chris; more than you should have, more than he knew. Through all of this stupid fake dating stuff you’d started enjoying the way he treated you, of being with him even if it was all supposed to be some big ruse. 

Then there was Sebastian. He understood you on such a basic level, and the two of you could sit and talk for hours. Of course he was ridiculously handsome to boot, and could somehow seem to make you blush without even trying. You weren’t really sure if you had real feelings for him or not, or if he was just stirring up the confusion you were feeling by the fact he was handsome and supportive and sweet. Ugh. 

“I… I don’t know. I mean, it just never even crossed my mind,” you answered. Because we aren’t actually dating. I just assumed we’d talk about it and go from there. 

“Fuck. Here I’ve gone and wrecked it all on you guys,” he swore, running a hand through his newly-shorn hair, having chopped it off the day after re-shoots ended. You shook your head and leaned against him, glad that Sebastian immediately opened his arms and wrapped them around you for support while your head spun.

“No you didn’t Baz,” you told him, but he sighed. 

“I just… maybe it’s something you should think about the next little bit? I mean… maybe it won’t be such a hard shock if he does ask? If there’s any silver lining to me being a dumbass,” he told you, and managed to pull a chuckle from you as he did so. 

“You’re not a dumbass Baz, relax. I just… don’t even know what to think about the whole thing… I didn’t see it coming even,” you explained, and his eyes widened slightly. 

“Claire… don’t take this the wrong way… but the two of you have been living together for like three or four months and you didn’t expect him to ask you to move in to his actual home?” 

Well, when Sebastian put it that way it did seem a little ridiculous, you had to admit. 

“Well… no?” you could’ve laughed at his expression, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open before he shook his head at you. 

“You are something else. The two of you are living together Claire… and you guys keep saying how things are going good, how would you not expect to keep living together? Or… shit… Claire are things not going good? Are you guys okay? It never even crossed my mind…” 

Soon Sebastian was rambling again, his brain on a whole other tangent of worry he’d created for himself. You shook your head and leaned against his chest again, feeling his arms circle back around you fully as he took a breath and then focused his attention in on you. 

“Are things okay? I know I’ve been kinda caught up in everything that’s going on with my mess but you’d say something if you weren’t okay, right?” he asked, cupping your cheek in one large hand, his fingers just slightly calloused thanks to all of the stunt work he’d been doing over the past six months. It somehow felt intimate in that moment, the way his eyes moved over your features with such intensity, the way his thumb softly caressed your cheek as he did so. You couldn’t seem to look away from him, but after a few moments you noticed Sebastian’s quick intake of breath, and saw his tongue dart to wet his bottom lip for just a moment before he pulled away.

“I think… I’m think I’m okay, but I’m just, I feel a little lost lately,” you whispered, and he nodded, pulling away a bit before giving you a distinctly friendly pat on the shoulder. 

“You know I’m here, right? Same as you had said for me, no matter what,” he repeated, and you nodded, giving him a soft smile as if that could somehow cover up the fact that Sebastian had, in single-handed fashion, turned your world upside down. It shook you to the core, the way you somehow reacted to those few small instances you’d shared, and wondered what the hell that meant for you and Chris and everything. You weren’t ready to date someone, you didn’t think, but the way you enjoyed being with Chris told you otherwise. The way you felt about Chris seconded that… and somehow so did these conflicting feelings about Sebastian, even though the thought of breaching that idea to either of them caused you the kind of anxiety that also told you that in no uncertain terms were you ready for a real relationship or commitment. 

“Hey… Claire? Are you okay?” Chris’s voice startled both of you, and Sebastian swallowed hard before giving his friend a half-smile. 

“I… you should just talk to him Claire, he’ll understand,” Sebastian whispered, before turning his attention back to Chris who looked a mix of bewildered and possibly even angry. “We were just talking… Claire’s got some stuff she wants to talk to you about. I’ll see you guys in a few weeks, okay?” 

With that he was up and gone, patting Chris’s shoulder and mumbling something you couldn’t catch. Chris stood there for a moment, and you realized that perhaps the way you’d been sitting on the couch with Sebastian had somehow upset him, so instead you stood and walked to him. Chris’s look was questioning, and you sighed before offering him a bit of a shaky smile. 

“Baz said… he said you were talking to Mackie about… when we’re in LA…” you couldn’t make yourself confront the topic, but soon understanding dawned on Chris’s face and he blushed. 

“I… Claire I know we need to talk about it and all but…” 

“It just caught me really off guard,” you assured him, and felt his hand softly rest on your shoulder. “But yeah, I think we need to talk about it.” 

“Come on, we’ll go pickup dinner and head to the hotel and we can talk, okay?” he suggested, and with that he gently led you out of Marvel’s mini headquarters and into his car. The drive-through was quick – a celebratory fast-food meal – and he soon had you in the parkade of the hotel and up to the room the two of you were sharing. The two queen sized beds were almost taunting you, because you had no idea if Chris intended on sleeping in his own bed or simply crawling in beside you the way he had for the past several months out of habit, even though it would twist your insides around a bit more from your confusion. 

“I’m really sorry that you found out like that, Claire, I just… it kind of makes sense for all of them, right? We’ve been living together for the past like four months on set, wouldn’t it be weird to everybody to just pull apart? I mean, it’s not like you can’t just go back to Ohio and do your own thing and me go to Boston and do the same, but… I really had wanted to talk to you about it first, so I’m sorry,” Chris blurted once you were safely in your hotel room with the door closed and the TV on low to disguise the conversation from anybody possibly listening close by. 

“I just… is it weird? That we would be moving that fast and all? My mom will flip if I tell her I’m planning on living with you whenever I’m in LA,” you told him, and he let out a slow breath before shrugging, keeping his head down and hiding his expression from you. You picked at a thread on your shorts, wishing you could just own up to everything that had been going through your head, but it was too difficult and upsetting to try and think about. 

“I… shit, maybe. Did she say anything about me living with you?” he asked, and you nodded. 

“She did… but I mean I explained your apartment went through all those repairs and she definitely agreed that it was the best option. I just… this is different, you know? This is a conscious, moving-forward dating step to everybody around us and it might be too serious or too soon to them. What would your mom say about us moving in after what? Five months?” 

“That either there’s something wrong with me or that I found the right girl… there’s no middle ground there,” he admitted, and you groaned as you flopped onto the bed closest to the window. That wasn’t a good situation to be in either way. 

“So what? Do we hold off then?” he asked, and you shrugged your shoulders before looking over at him. Your appetite was basically gone, because this made the fact you and Chris were an entire ruse that much more realistic. It felt like everything was crashing down on your head right now, all the things that you’d thought of before agreeing to this that had been all but swept under the rug with how well things had been going.

“I don’t know what the right thing is. If we were actually dating would you be considering asking?” you posed the question and he stuttered on an answer for a few moments, before shrugging. 

“I don’t know. I’ve never asked a girl to move in with me before,” he admitted, putting the takeout bag on the table and running his hands through his hair before looking over to you and then settling onto the second bed. That seemed to stun you as much as everything else had. He was making a point of taking a step back, putting some separation between the two of you while you had this conversation. It almost stung, even though it was stupid and it shouldn’t because you weren’t dating that he wouldn’t have came to sit beside you, or been able to see through your anxiety the way he usually did. As muddled up as you were at the moment, a hug from Chris would feel magical about now.

“Really?” 

“Really. Why do you sound so surprised? It’s a huge deal,” he answered, and you rolled your eyes. You’d only lived with one ex but you had dated for a couple of years. 

“It is a huge deal but usually if that person means a lot and you can see a future it doesn’t really matter outside of that,” you shrugged. 

“So you’ve lived with someone before?” 

“Yeah, I have. We dated for a year and a half, and then moved in together and lived together for a year and a half before we broke up,” you answered easily, and he shook his head. 

“How does that sound so casual when you say it?” he asked, and you snorted. 

“And you proposing we live together because we stayed together while filming doesn’t sound casual?” you retorted, but Chris sighed. 

“I just… it seems like what we would do, is all I’m saying,” he told you, and you nodded before turning your eyes up to the ceiling. You tried to take a few steadying breaths, the kind that usually helped with your anxiety, but you realized you were a little too far gone for it at this point. Tears were starting to prick at your eyes, and you chewed on your lip in an attempt to stop them in their tracks. 

“Claire… please don’t cry,” Chris murmured, and you heard him shifting around on the other bed before he closed the space between the two of you and pulled you into his arms. Even though you didn’t really want to, well you did but the part of you that knew you were swimming in shark infested waters emotionally didn’t, you leaned in and breathed in deeply, the soft scent that was all Chris reaching your nostrils. Somehow he seemed to have a calming presence, even though he was part of the reason you were anxious. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I am,” you sputtered out, and he kissed the top of your head before pulling you further up the bed, so both of your feet were no longer hanging off the edge. Chris then tangled the two of you up, slipping one of his legs between yours as he wrapped his arms tight around you and let you tuck your head beneath his chin. He was breathing slow and measured, and you desperately tried to match him and do the same. 

“I’m sorry, I just dumped a whole bunch of scary stuff on you, of course you’re upset and anxious and overwhelmed, Claire,” he murmured, and you shook your head but let him softly quiet you. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Why don’t we just hang out this week? Then you can go home for a bit and be with your family, and I’ll do the same, then in a couple months or something we’ll both fly out somewhere and do a vacation before shit gets crazy okay? And we can talk about this then? But until we do that trip, no more talks of moving in with anybody. Deal?” 

“Deal,” you whispered, and he kissed the top of your head again before snuggling in, and you could tell from the way his breath was evening out that Chris was falling asleep. If only you were able to fall asleep as easily as he was, it felt like sometimes life would be easier that way. Instead you laid there, trying to get a hold of yourself while your brain ran a million miles a minute. This whole ‘fake dating’ thing was a terrible idea, and now the reasons why were on parade for you. Of all things you were stupid enough to start actually falling for him, and now it made everything so much more complicated for you while you tried to act and reason the same way you would without having those feelings. When the two of you were just best friends, totally platonic, the way you had been before this whole mess. 

You braved a glance up, and sure enough Chris was out; eyelashes dark and long against his cheeks, mouth open slightly as he breathed – he always ended up breathing through his mouth when he slept, not loudly or grossly but it happened – and the tension lines gone from his forehead. Your eyes moved over his features slowly, before you dropped your head again and closed your eyes as tight as was physically possible. You were going to have to put and end to the fake dating thing, you knew… but the prospect of going through that whole process with your friends and family wasn’t a fun one. Neither was the repeat performances of your parents insistence that you needed to find somebody. Or the possibility of hurting or losing Chris.

Another day. Those were problems for another day, you told yourself, willing yourself to try and fall asleep and recharge some of the energy that was lost from this mini emotional blowout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun... okay, so I've got drama coming up, but like I've been saying... please let me know how you guys are feeling, because this story changed direction HARD from where it started and what I meant it to be originally. I really hope you guys are liking it!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains mature scenes and sexual content. If you don't want to read this, I've entered a page break - so the first and last sections are fine, but the middle section contains the sexual content, and you won't miss any of the story with avoiding that section. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and I apologize in advance for any feels it may cause

\- six months later – 

Eleven months. So much for ending the fake dating after the whole moving thing had come up. You’d spent a week in what you could only call paradise with Chris at his LA home. The two of you lazed around, swam in the pool, drank and played beer pong, watched movies, took Dodger for walks, and generally just ignored the real world in favour of doing whatever the hell you wanted for eight days. You ended up meeting Chris’s brother, and he came over and spent an evening hanging out, watching movies and eating dinner with the two of you, which had only twisted the knots in your stomach worse. Scott accepted you immediately; he greeted you with a warm hug and a bright smile, chattering about being so excited to _finally_ meet the girl who had Chris acting like this. From there it only got better, the two of you hitting it off and telling stories, nattering away while Chris only cringed and blushed at some of the stories and tried to intercept and explain himself. It felt so natural and homey and right that you’d nearly started crying when you’d excused yourself to the bathroom to try and catch your breath. 

You couldn’t keep this up. Lying to people who cared about you, both of you, and lying to yourself that you didn’t have feelings for Chris. It was all becoming too much. So while you hated to say goodbye; hugging Chris tight and letting him squeeze you against his chest while he whispered how much he was going to miss you, and that you had to call him as soon as you landed so he knew you were safe, in a way you were relieved. You wanted nothing more than to be a shut in at your apartment back home in Lancaster and do nothing, see nobody, and be a hermit in general. Even if you were going to miss Chris like crazy too after having been living with him for months and seeing him every single day.

That had lasted all of three weeks before Anthony, Seb, Scarlett and Chris were all calling and texting constantly wondering where you were and what you were up to. Next to Chris’s, Seb’s calls got answered the most often with an actual call as opposed to a text. He sympathized so much with the whole fear of moving in with Chris thing – and he was still worrying over thinking he somehow caused a problem with that, but he was so easy to talk to. So quick to jump to your defence or normalize whatever was going through your head, knowing anxiety as intimately as you did. He could make you laugh when you were crying, in a way that only rivalled Chris. And every single time the two of you were about to end a phone call he reminded you that he had a very empty spare bedroom that you were more than welcome to any time you wanted, with or without Chris. And every time he offered your heart fluttered just a tiny bit, because you had a safe place and knew that Sebastian was the lease judgmental human being you had possibly ever met. 

But thanks to a new film project, you and Chris hadn’t gone on your vacation, hadn’t done the whole ‘talk it out’ thing where moving to LA with him would come back up. You’d assured and reassured him that it was fine; he was so excited for this new film and he’d jumped at the main role when they’d offered it, even before he’d really thought about it. It was shocking to hear him apologize for taking the role without having talked to you, because you couldn’t fathom why he’d need some kind of consent from you to be flying out to London to film. When he’d explained that it threw the two of you going on vacation to an unknown time, you shrugged it off. There would always be time later, this film was happening now. So you told him to go have fun in London, not get into too much trouble and have a pint of Guinness for you while he was over there for two and a half months, before he was over in Asia doing some Marvel stuff. You managed to snag a small supporting role in a couple of films that put a few weeks of filming into your schedule too, and while Chris was upset about the fact that it seemed like one of you was always busy, neither of you could complain that you had work coming your way.

The smallest, guiltiest part of you was relieved to not have to face the music yet, even though you knew it was poor of you to think so. You’d even admitted it to Sebastian – that in a way you’d been okay with delaying the vacation and impending conversation about moving – and instead he’d shushed you and assured you it was normal. You were having nerves about a huge life change and to make things worse you and Chris had just spent real time apart for the first time and that was going to impact your feelings. He made it seem so normal and acceptable without even knowing all the other details of what was going on, and you were so grateful for him. Even his mother had called to wish you a happy birthday two weeks ago, something he’d been sheepishly pleased about when you called him out on it. Apparently his Mama thought you’d had some instrumental part in helping him get over his breakup and was very grateful for it, he’d told you.   
-

 

Then Chris had flown out to Lancaster and surprised you, taking you out to dinner and the movies before you’d both retired to your little apartment, chatting away, drinking wine, and almost falling back into normal friendly patterns before he’d wished you a quiet happy birthday and surprised you with a soft kiss, and that had sent a tingle all the way down to your toes. One so bad that you’d pulled away from the kiss almost abruptly, feeling your face heat up as both of you kind of stuttered and fell into awkward silence. After a few moments Chris apologized, and you quietly shook it off, but the awkwardness didn’t leave. After another few awkward beats Chris turned to you again, and when you opened your mouth to speak he pulled you in again, and this time you melted. His lips were perfect, soft and willing and pliant against your own, just dominant enough to guide the kiss. His tongue flicked against your lips and you let him kiss you deeper, tasting him as he slowly leaned the two of you back on the couch, the majority of his weight supported on an elbow while he laid over you. 

When his mouth began to move from your lips, along your jaw, to your neck, part of your brain screamed at you. That you had to stop this, that this didn’t make any sense; you weren’t _really_ dating, why was this happening? It wasn’t that you didn’t want it to, but it just confused you. 

“Chris?” your voice was small, but his head snapped up immediately, beautiful, ocean blue disappearing to a thin line around blown out pupils. His mouth was just slightly agape, and he licked his lips before his gaze locked to yours. 

“Claire? Do you want me to stop?” he breathlessly asked, and while every part of your brain that craved logic and understanding and explanation told you yes, the part that had fallen for Chris at some point in the past few months was quite fine with simply knowing he was willing to stop if you so much as asked for it. 

“Why…?” you couldn’t help it, and he smiled softly, almost dare you say _lovingly_ at you before he cupped your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked in response, and while it didn’t answer your question, it didn’t answer anything, really, you met his next kiss, and didn’t say a word as he tenderly picked you up and carried you to your bedroom. Lips were against lips, followed by warm skin against warm skin, and you let yourself get lost in him. In his bright eyes framed by dark lashes, in his warm smiles covered by hot kisses, his strong muscles holding you and moving in a manner that was tender and unbelievably gentle. 

“Do you want me to stop? Claire?” he asked some time later, his naked body hovering above yours, the heat of him matching the fire he’d ignited deep within your belly, an ache that you knew only he could satisfy. You shook your head and reached for him, hand cupping his cheek before moving to cup the nape of his neck, fingers threading in between strands of silky soft hair as you pulled him back down to you. The soft breeze that had moved between your bodies had felt delightful for a moment, before it became too much and you needed him against you, covering you, filling you. 

“Please don’t, Chris,” you breathed against his lips, and with a low moan that sent a shiver along your spine, down your center and to your toes he kissed you. Hands that you had seen deliver forceful punches in training delicately trailed along your skin, before his fingers were teasing at you, testing you. A small whimper was all you could vocalize, before you were groaning in pleasure with him as he guided himself to and inside of you. He was huge, and you gasped as he bottomed out and you realized he was finally completely inside of you. 

“Claire… god Claire…” he panted against your neck, hips canting gently and rhythmically against you. He started with a gentle pace, more rolling his hips against you, letting you get used to the feel of him, of how tightly the two of you fit together. His hands slid up your arms, fingertips brushing along your skin and leaving behind trails of goose bumps as the cool air met flesh no longer covered by the heat of his skin. 

“Chris,” you murmured his name against his cheek, lips brushing against his earlobe and making him tremble at the sensation. It was soft, drawn out, Chris taking his time as he touched and kissed and explored you, or what of you he could reach while inside of you, and you did the same. Hands roamed his abs, his chest, his arms and his back, taking in every small detail as he kissed along your neck and collarbone. His hips were narrow, and your legs fit perfectly around him, holding him close as the two of you began to move with more intensity as the need began building up in both of you. 

“Claire… come for me… please…” he begged, thumb softly stroking your nipple as he ground himself against you, his pubic bone applying pressure to just the right spot, sending waves of pleasure through your body as his mouth soon took your other nipple. Every point on your body that caused you pleasure was being stimulated, and it took all but moments for you to do as he asked. With his name in a moan on your lips you finished, and buried your hand in Chris’s sandy brown hair, pulling his mouth to your lips for another searing kiss. His hips were moving more erratically now, and all it took was for you to whisper in the shell of his ear, to ask him to let go, and with a grunt and a groan his hips stuttered and he did so. Collapsing against you, chest heaving for breath he laid there, his face nuzzled against your neck as the two of you breathed, and somehow your foggy brain tried to come to terms with what had just taken place. 

You’d slept with Chris. Your best friend. Good lord, you could already feel the blush on your cheeks. You weren’t _that_ drunk, you didn’t think, yet somehow here you both were.

After a few moments Chris rolled off of you, and sauntered in the direction of the bathroom to clean up. You laid there, feeling delightfully leaden and pleased but still confused about what all had just taken place. When he returned it was with a cloth to wipe his mess from the inside of your thighs, which he did with a kiss, even if the gesture startled you slightly. 

“I’ll just go to the bathroom,” you told him, even as you wobbled slightly on your Jell-O legs as you got up. Chris chuckled and held you steady, letting go as you made your way to the bathroom as quickly as was possible. After cleaning up, and splashing some water on your face – as if that would clear up everything – you returned to your room, welcomed back to your bed by Chris’s open arms and the blankets turned back so that you could curl up against him, letting him wrap himself around you as you drifted off to sleep. 

-

“Oh shit…” 

You woke when you heard Chris cuss, and cracked open an eye to see him attempting to tip toe toward the bathroom, but having stubbed his toe on your dresser in the process. Your head was pounding, your mouth felt dry – damn alcohol – but beyond that… Chris was naked heading to the bathroom? 

So were you. Good God. 

Then it came flooding back. 

“Sorry, didn’t want to wake you up,” he sheepishly told you before making his way to the bathroom, hands covering himself from your view as he did so. Once he was down the hall you let out a long breath and hid your face in your hands… what the hell had you done? Sleeping with Chris was never part of any plan, hell it wasn’t even a good idea, and yet both of you had crossed that line without really looking back. However, now that reality had set in, you were going to have to figure out how on earth to deal with the decisions you’d both made. 

“Hey… you okay?” he asked, pausing in the doorway before quickly walking to the side of the bed and, after searching for a moment, pulling on his boxers from the previous day before he slid beneath the covers. He hesitated, and then reached out to you, his hand cupping your shoulder before moving down your arm as his eyes searched you. What he was looking for, you had no idea. 

“I don’t know,” you admitted softly, and his eyes widened before he slowly pulled you in. “What did… what were we…?” 

You couldn’t finish your sentence and Chris seemed to understand. His hand was gently rubbing your back, in soothing circles, and he simply held you while keeping the sheet between your bodies, probably more for your modesty than his.

“We slept together,” he allowed, your head tucked firmly beneath his chin, which didn’t let you see his face as he spoke. “Do you regret it? Was it a bad decision?”

You pondered his questions for a few moments. Was it? From your side of things, yes it was a shitty decision to make. You had feelings for somebody you weren’t supposed to and then to top it all off slept with him. It made things so much more complicated for you. As for the two of you as a whole, you had no idea. You had friends who had slept together and remained friends afterward, their relationship seemingly unchanged. Whether that was the case here, you had no idea. There was no way to get inside of Chris’s head and figure out what he was thinking, even as the two of you laid beneath the covers, sunlight beginning to filter into the room and add color to your surroundings. 

“I… I don’t know… Chris…” 

“You kind of look like you think you shouldn’t have,” he allowed a few minutes later, loosening his grip enough that you could look at him. 

“Chris,” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I don’t really know what I was thinking either,” he sighed, and soon had slid out of bed and was collecting his clothes off of the floor. You were left speechless, as blindsided by this as you had been by the realization that morning that the two of you had slept together. 

“I... Chris… what’re you… where are you going?” you finally blurted out, and he paused before buttoning up his jeans and then pulling a sweater over his head. 

“Gonna go grab some coffee, I think we maybe both need some time to decompress and think,” he told you without even looking at you as he left your room. You managed to slide into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and follow him; unable to find words but knowing that there was something you needed to say to him. 

“Chris, please,” 

“Claire – it’s fine. We were a little bit drunk, and we did a stupid thing. It’s okay; we’ll talk about it when I get back, I promise,” he insisted, and after a second he pulled you close enough to press a quick kiss to the top of your head before he was out the door. All you could do was stand there and stare at the now-closed door he’d just left through, wondering what the hell had happened. This was all going to implode or explode or whatever the right term was, you could feel it. A few tears escaped then, and you swiped them away, trying to organize your brain enough that you could talk with Chris when he got back – whether he liked it or not – and try to salvage your friendship through all of this.


	14. Chapter 14

“Hello? Earth to Claire?” your head snapped up from where your chin had been resting against your chest as you’d dozed. You had forty-five minutes between meetings at your agents’ office in LA, and so there was no point in trying to leave and find your way back in that time. What you hadn’t expected however, was for the one and only RDJ to show up and wake you up from your awkward nap. Looking as flawless as usual in some kind of band T-shirt underneath a blazer, sunglasses on even inside, you almost thought your brain was playing tricks on you for an instant until he waved a hand in front of your face for good measure, grinning all the while.

“Hi Robert, sorry I…” 

“Snoozing, I got it. You snore, just a teeny bit, did you know that? Super quiet, almost undetectable even, do you even call it snoring when it’s like that?” he asked with a cocky grin and made you laugh even as you scooted over so he could sit beside you on the leather loveseat. At least you weren’t snoring sleeping in the main lobby; they’d been kind enough to seat you in what used to be an office but was now some kind of lounge with furniture and a mini-fridge full of mineral water, away from any general public that could be going past.

“I used to wheeze a bit when I slept as a kid, never been told I snore though,” you told him, and gently stretched your neck. The twenty some minute nap in the weird position had your muscles a little stiff, and Robert didn’t appear to be bothered by it as he quickly checked his phone and adjusted his glasses. 

“Well, first time for everything,” he shot you a wicked grin before sobering up a little and fidgeting slightly. While Robert wasn’t exactly known for sitting still, this was beyond his normal pent up energy kind of moving. 

“So, what brings you here?” you asked, and after a moment Robert turned to look at you. 

“To be honest? You,” he answered, and shocked you. Your brain was racing; trying to find any kind of reason why on earth Robert would have came out to see you. You’d gotten along with him great while filming, even though there wasn’t a lot of overlap in your filming schedules, but nothing that warranted him going out of his way like this and without any kind of text or warning. It just didn’t quite make sense. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, I… sorry, I know it’s awkward. But I talked to Chris a few days ago and he’s really on a tail spin and I’m positive it had to do with you, so I’m here to help everyone get to the bottom of it,” he explained, and you felt your heart drop down in your stomach as it began to churn. You’d tried calling and texting Chris non-stop for the past two months since your birthday, and had been basically stonewalled. One word answers here or there, and if he did manage to actually answer your phone call it was short and abrupt, to the point, and he never let you bring anything about what happened up. If you did more than _breathe_ a word about needing to talk about the fact that the two of you had slept together magically something happened that needed him to end the phone call. 

In all honesty, the reason you’d flown out to LA instead of meeting your agent at their New York office – which was considerably closer to you – was because you had planned on confronting Chris in person about it. After sneakily texting Lizzie about it to make sure he was home and that none of his family were out visiting, just in case. You didn’t want to make a scene in front of anyone. 

“O-oh, yeah,” you swallowed hard, and raised your eyes up to Robert’s brown ones. There was nothing but concern there, which made you feel a little better. “To be honest, that’s part of why I’m here too.” 

“Not just doing some castings?” he asked, and you shook your head. 

“Chris has hardly talked to me the last two months… I just… I thought if I came here for the castings I’d go see him and try to talk to him,” you admitted, and saw Robert’s eyebrows raise up considerably. 

“So you’ve been trying to get a hold of him?” 

“Well of course I have! He just kind of stormed out of Lancaster and we never… we kind of left things in a weird place and I don’t want us to be stuck there, if that makes sense,” you told him, not wanting to explain anything else about it. The surprise across Robert’s face, however, told a slightly different story. That whatever he thought was going on was very different from what you’d just said. 

“Well then,” he started, before checking his watch. “I… well I didn’t anticipate that answer, to be honest. From the little I’d managed to weasel out of Chris, he painted a really different picture.” 

“What… what picture is that?” you asked, a little scared of what the answer might be. Did Chris hate you now or something? He was the one who said that sleeping together had been a stupid mistake and stormed out, after all. He didn’t even give you a goddamn _chance_ to say anything else. 

“Just… the two of you need to talk. Really, need to talk. So, whenever your readings are done head down to his place, from seeing you today I can see whatever the hell happened is wearing on you too kiddo, and that’s not good,” was Robert’s fatherly advice, before he stood up. A quick stretch, and then he gave you a funny look before sighing and extending his arms. 

“Am I getting a hug goodbye or not? My car is going to be here in five, so unfortunately I can’t stay and hash this out with you,” he said, and with a giggle you obliged, giving him a tight hug and thanking him for trying to help anyway. He and Chris had become good friends when working on the first Avengers movie, but you hadn’t realized maybe just how close they really were, if Robert was willing to try and stage some kind of intervention for whatever he thought was going on between the two of you. 

It was enough to concern you and occupy your brain while you waited for them to call you back into the office and go over a few TV scripts that had been sent your way. While the readings went well, you’d seen a couple looks that meant you’d be hoping for a call back to read with somebody as a second chance. Thank god the two movie scripts you’d been sent had been gone over earlier in the morning, before Robert had stopped by and messed with your head accidentally. 

Walking out to the street, hoping your Uber ride was already there, you fired off a quick text to Sebastian, and while you knew it was fruitless texted Chris to see what he was up to. It was coming up to noon, so maybe if you swung by and caught him off guard you could invite him to lunch, or if he would answer his damn phone you could just pick him up and get something. 

Sebastian knew something was wrong. He’d called you just a few days after Chris had left – when Chris was _supposed_ to have left – to see how the ‘romantic birthday’ had gone. When you’d started sniffling he immediately backtracked, knowing something had gone terribly wrong and asking over and over what happened and if you were okay. Even though it would’ve been a pain in the ass for him he offered to fly out from New York to hang out with you and be there for you, even though you insisted it wasn’t necessary. A choppy explanation of Chris having left early, of something having happened that got miscommunicated and then not explained or talked out, and you could practically _hear_ the melancholy coming from his side of the phone call. Now he was as up to date as he could be, knowing that Chris still wasn’t really talking to you, he and Chris had even gotten into an argument over Sebastian trying to get him to go see you or just have an honest to god phone call over it, because he said it was killing him to know that the two of you were both hurting over whatever it was. That hadn’t been pretty; Sebastian had sent you a picture two days later, and Chris had been so worked up he’d _swung_ at Sebastian, landing a punch that managed to put a bruise on his rib cage. After that you’d made him promise to not bother Chris about it, that the two of you would figure it out. It was safer for him to not get in the middle of it, in case it made Chris more upset. 

Of course, Sebastian continued to insist that his offer hadn’t changed – that his spare room was ready and waiting whenever you wanted to head out to New York and visit, sight-see, whatever, and because he was lonely and missed the Marvel crew. He’d even tried to get Chris to come out and visit and have you come out at the same time, the sneaky bugger. But when he was caught red handed over Skype, he merely shrugged and mumbled about hating seeing you so unhappy. Cue the almost tears and wanting to hug your favourite Romanian and wishing you _were_ in New York with him and not in Ohio. 

_Anything?_

You smiled and adjusted your purse to text him back, seeing that Chris had in fact read your message but not bothered to respond. 

_Nope. Read and no response_

 _What a dick. That’s just rude._ He answered, making you chuckle as a car pulled up just a few feet from you. After double-checking your Uber app you walked over, making sure it was in fact the car you’d asked for before doing anything else. 

After giving Chris’s address, hoping beyond hope that this wasn’t going to be a terrible mistake and that you guys could at least go back to being friends again if Chris wanted the sex-mistake to be forgotten. You could do that, pretend it had just been a drunken night and not let it affect anything moving forward. But the fake dating, you’d long decided would have to end. Especially with what that had led to and caused. There was nothing worth losing your best friend over. 

_Be nice, Baz. He could have other stuff going on too_

_He could’ve sent back something, jesus. Oh hey, I’m gonna be in LA on Thursday, wanna hit the beach with me if you’re still around?_

You rolled your eyes, paying a little bit of attention to the street signs going past to make sure you were going the right way. Thankfully the driver was content to listen to the radio and not make much conversation, because you would’ve been shitty company for him anyway as you texted away your other best friend. 

_Sure, sounds good Baz. I’ll talk to you later, all right?_

_Okay! Fingers crossed for ya_

With that you checked Chris’s conversation again, making sure that he hadn’t responded in the twenty minutes the ride had taken, but again the little read receipt was simply haunting you from underneath the bubble of your message. Even when you were busy you liked to at least _respond_ to a message if you’d taken the time to read it. Sometimes you forgot, but those were accidents and you always apologized profusely for it. 

“Thanks,” you quickly paid the driver and got out, having asked if he’d stay for an extra fifteen minutes ‘In case my friend isn’t home’, rather than having to sit on Chris’s sidewalk and wait for another car or cab if he didn’t answer or wasn’t there. That would be too embarrassing for life. 

You steeled yourself and let yourself into the gate, remembering the code from the week you’d spent out here with him months ago. He hadn’t changed it, so that had to be a good sign right? 

It wasn’t a long walk up to his front door, maybe forty or fifty feet, but it felt like a mile as you could feel your confidence dropping with each step. What if he got angry? What if he slammed the door in your face? So many what ifs that had you chewing on your lip and wringing your fingers together that by the time you finally got to the front door you wanted to turn around and run back to the waiting car. Squaring your shoulders you pressed the doorbell, heart trying to pound its’ way through your chest as you did so. There was no turning around now. People couldn’t play knock knock ginger when your house had a locked, passcode required gate at the street. 

It took a minute or two before the door opened, and when it did your words just kind of disappeared. 

You’d thought maybe Chris hadn’t really rolled out of bed yet; he liked to laze around when he had time off, and it was only around eleven o’clock. So maybe he’d needed an extra moment to crawl out and throw something on to open the door. That would have been explainable. 

The five foot ten plus blonde who looked to be _only_ wearing one of Chris’s button downs (one of his favourite ones, might you add), hair artfully dishevelled, was not what you expected. You blinked dazedly a few times, before you realized she was waiting for you to fucking _say_ something.

“H-hey, uh, sorry, is Chris home? I tried texting earlier,” your words stumbled out, and immediately kicked yourself for it. Way to look like a loser in front of her. All you could do was hope beyond hope she wasn’t what she looked like. Because she looked like she’d crawled out of Chris’s bed. 

“Yeah, he’s just in the shower, we’re going down to the beach this afternoon. I can let him know you dropped by?” she asked, and that was when you went from intimidated to enraged. She was being so blasé, looking down her nose a little at you (regardless of the height difference… you were wearing wedges. You were only a couple inches shorter, even though you weren’t standing on the top step). This girl knew exactly why you’d came to Chris’s house, and she was rubbing it in as she played with the sleeve of his shirt, trying and mostly failing to repress a smirk. And it wasn’t just her, it was the fact that Chris obviously didn’t give a shit about any of this. That’s what really, _really_ ticked you off after all had happened.

“No need to bother, I just thought we could grab lunch and catch up if he was free, the rest of my trip is booked up. Thanks though. And you might want to put on some fucking pants next time you answer a door, someone might get the wrong idea about you,” the snarky comment slipped out before you could stop yourself and with that you turned on your heel and began walking down the sidewalk back toward the street, not even bothering to see the shocked look on the girl’s face before that damned smirk would be back. She didn’t have to say anything back, she was the one answering Chris’s door in one of his shirts, and almost anything you could have said wouldn’t have had enough power to change the dynamic. 

“Well considering I was about to _join_ him when you knocked…” she trailed off, and the heat of tears was at the back of your eyes. She knew exactly where to hit with a few nonchalant words.

“Hope you like listening to Aladdin in the shower then,” you threw the comment over your shoulder, hoping to throw her off a little if nothing else as you power walked, wanting out of there as quickly as was humanely possible without running away. Thank God the Uber was still sitting there, and he gave you a little salute of a wave when you rushed into the backseat. 

After giving him the address of your hotel you let a few of the tears sneak out. That hurt, more than Chris leaving so abruptly months ago had. You’d known it hadn’t been good, but you’d never thought he’d do this. Not like you were his girlfriend… not like you had any reason to expect him to just be waiting around and all. You shouldn’t even be mad, or hurt… but damn it he’d _slept with you_ and that should have at least meant something. It meant something to you, and yeah maybe it was stupid and a mistake but you guys were friends and meant something to each other therefore at least a little courtesy about sleeping around, right? Maybe? Or were you being ridiculous because you had developed these stupid feelings and blowing it up worse than it needed to be? You hadn’t been with anybody since you started ‘fake dating’ Chris, you’d just assumed the same for him, or that he’d have at least said _something_ if he thought or wanted otherwise. Either way, it hurt. A lot. . Sebastian didn’t know that there was no reason for you to truly be this upset, but you did. There was no reason the tears in your eyes should’ve been real, or the little pain in your chest

“Baz?” you asked as soon as the call connected, and heard a long exhale of a sigh. Your voice had shook, and now you were powerless to stop it.

“Shit, what happened?” 

“Can I come see you in New York when this LA trip is over?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... chapters might be a little slow coming. I'm totally revamping everything I'd had written from the last chapter forward because I didn't like where it was going, there was way more drama than I wanted and I couldn't really reign things back in to where I wanted them to end up without breaking hearts (mine included)
> 
> So please keep me updated on what you guys are thinking and if you like where things are headed! Thanks! :)


	15. Chapter 15

You’d waited out four days in your hotel room in LA, too upset to even go and lie out on the beach and enjoy the sand and the sun. The probably irrational fear of running into Chris and the blonde was also very present, and there was no way in hell you wanted to have to see them together after what had transpired at his place. Sebastian had flown in, but you knew he was jam-packed full of work meetings for the first day so you hadn’t texted him, not wanting to distract him when you knew he was already concerned about you. Your blubbery phone call after leaving Chris’s had put him on high alert, and while you kept trying to insist it was fine and that you would talk to him on Thursday, that everything going on could wait until then. He was staying until Friday, and catching a red-eye back home to the east coast. Now, the plan was for you to be on that flight with him, needing to get the hell out of LA but not wanting to go back home. There were already too many questions from Annie and your parents about you and Chris; Annie knew that shit had gone down but you hadn’t felt like divulging any details, and especially didn’t want to now. And to make matters worse, of all times now your parents had started asking when you were going to bring Chris around to meet them. 

“Hello?” you jumped, startled when there was knocking at your hotel door. You hadn’t been expecting anybody and hadn’t ordered room service, so you were a little on edge. 

“Open up Claire; it’s me,” you nearly collapsed on yourself at Sebastian’s voice, and hurried over to unlock the door, falling into his waiting arms as he pulled you into a tight hug. You knew you looked like a damn mess, your hair haphazardly piled on top of your head, a tank top on and a pair of gym shorts, trying to combat the Los Angeles heat, whereas Sebastian looked stylish in a nice pair of shorts, a V-neck t-shirt, and sharp looking sneakers as well as his Ray Bans. 

“Hey, draguta how are you doing?” he murmured against your hair, walking you back three steps to let the door swing shut behind him. You melted easily against his muscled chest, feeling the hot sting of tears behind your eyes again as you took a shaky breath and hoped you could get through it. 

But that wasn’t really fair to Chris either. For Sebastian to just assume you’d been cheated on, when really, there had been no lines set. You couldn’t do that to him, even if this was kind of ripping your heart out. 

“I... it’s… it fucking hurts,” you whimpered, and he quieted you before picking you up and carrying you over to your bed, gently putting you down and crawling up beside you after he toed his sneakers off. The invitation was taken eagerly as he raised his arms for you to snuggle against him again, needing the comfort he could provide. 

“Walk me through it, Claire, let me know what happened. I know it can’t be good,” he softly said, pushing some stray hairs off of your face before thumbing the offending tears from your cheeks as you sniffed and tried to get yourself together. 

“Claire… talk to me, please?” he asked, voice soft and frightened as he tipped your chin toward him. “You’re scaring me.” 

“I just…” you were still at a loss for words, and instead of talking when you opened your mouth like you had intended a sob escaped and Sebastian pulled you tight against his chest, holding you and trying to comfort you as best as he could. 

It wasn’t just tears; it was full blown, ugly crying and sobbing, and bless Sebastian’s heart he held you and murmured about how you were going to be okay and smoothed down your hair and rubbed your back while you did so. When the tears finally subsided, he rested his cheek against the top of your head, hand moving to gently thumb the tears off of your cheeks again before he tipped your head up so he could look at you properly. 

“What did... did you guys break up? Was there… was there someone else? Did he cheat on you? Because Claire I know he’s my friend but he is an absolute _asshole_ if he can do that to you,” Sebastian insisted, blue eyes determined and solemn as he spoke to you. 

“I just… I can’t believe… Baz it just _hurts_ ,” you gasped, and he nodded, pulling you in against his chest and surrounding you with his arms, somehow making you feel at least a little protected. 

“I know, I know puiuț, it’s going to hurt and hurt a lot, but you’ll be okay,” he cooed, and smoothed your hair back away from your face again. “You’re strong, Claire. I know it’s awful, puiut, but you’ll get through it.” 

“Thanks Baz,” you whimpered, and let him hold and comfort you because there wasn’t really anybody else you could turn to about it. But you wanted him to know, that as poorly as he might think of you and Chris for it that you couldn’t stand to leave it like that. It scared you shitless, that maybe you could end up losing Sebastian too, but you couldn’t lie to him. Not after all the two of you had been through together now.

“Baz… I…” you blurted it all out. Chris suggesting this stupid idea, to you starting to get feelings for him and then what had happened when he’d come out to see you for your birthday. Sebastian just sat quietly and took it all in, and his silence scared you more than anything else. Once you’d bared all – even the fact that while you didn’t feel like you had a right to be so hurt by Chris sleeping with some other girl, having taken her to his _house_ , but still were because of how you felt and everything that had transpired – you sat there, eyes focused on your hands clasped together in between the two of you, waiting for the verbal reprimand from Sebastian. You were deathly afraid of losing him too, after all this. 

“So… so you guys weren’t really dating?” he asked, and you shook your head, eyes still down. The two of you laid there in silence for a few moments before Sebastian’s hands invaded your line of sight; he put his hands over yours before cupping your cheek with his left hand and gently urging you to lift your head. 

Your eyes met his, and you didn’t see any of the things you’d expected there, but it made relief surge through you the likes of which you’d never experienced before. 

“It’s weird, gotta admit it, but I get it,” he chuckled, and his thumb softly stroked your cheek. “He’s still an asshole for doing this, don’t try and sell your feelings short. He didn’t know all about how you felt, but he still made a commitment to you, and he should know that you can’t sleep with somebody and turn around and go home with somebody else and not expect it to hurt.” 

With that Sebastian kissed your forehead, catching you off guard. 

“Can I admit something too?” he asked, and you nodded, before noticing Sebastian was blushing. He readjusted himself so he was stretched out more comfortably on the bed, wrapping one arm around your waist as he did so.

“Of course, Baz,” you quietly replied, and he took a deep breath before shuffling just a little closer to you on the bed. He floundered a few times, before squaring his shoulders and raising his steely eyes to meet yours.

“It wasn’t just what was going on with Rita that had me so off about you and Chris,” he told you, one hand holding both of yours, the other now moving to cup your cheek. “As much as I hated to admit it I knew Rita and I were going to end. It killed me, it killed both of us I think, that we wanted different things. Things that were too different for us to be able to stay together through. But I think… I was holding on so hard because… because I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was jealous as hell of Chris being with you.” 

The next thing you knew, Sebastian’s lips were soft against yours. It was chaste, and sweet; completely unassuming and somehow so definitively Sebastian. Your eyes had fluttered shut, body responding to him before your brain caught up and you processed what he had said. 

He was jealous of Chris? 

You pulled away, eyes wide and brain screaming at you that all of this didn’t really make sense, and saw Sebastian’s eyelashes dark against his cheeks, his lips full and pink, mouth open slightly as you’d backed away so fast he hadn’t quite reacted.

“Baz…” 

“Sorry, sorry, fuck I’m as big of an asshole as he is, aren’t I?” he groaned, pulling away more and giving you some space, before you reached for his hand again and held onto it. You could see surprise in his bright blue eyes but he laid there silently, waiting for you to say something. It was obvious Sebastian was trying to put you in control of the situation, because he didn’t want you to be hurt or upset. 

He was trying hard not to take advantage of you, you realized, and wondered just the tiniest bit if Chris had. Your closeness and maybe your attraction to him hadn’t been as subtle as you’d thought – it had been easy and safe and comfortable for him to sleep with you, even if it hadn’t meant shit all to him. But you couldn’t help but wonder how many other girls he’d been with since the two of you had started fake dating. You’d never expected it from him, especially not with the way he behaved even when the two of you were together, even in private, but obviously it hadn’t been the same for Chris as for you. Again, though, you felt guilty because it wasn’t like he should have had to be faithful in that sense because the two of you weren’t dating… but maybe he should’ve laid that out or said something about it so you weren’t so hurt and blindsided by it. Especially after the way everything went down. But Sebastian was trying desperately to not do something that would hurt you, even though his feelings were on the line too. 

“No, you’re not an asshole, Baz,” you assured him, and he let out a long breath. 

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure kissing you when you just got your heart trod on by somebody and you didn’t want me to constitutes as being as an asshole,” he insisted, but you shook your head and tugged on his hand, giving him the okay to get as close as he’d been previously. He scooted over slowly, before wrapping his large hand around yours and then turning his eyes to your face, his expression a little guarded.

“You’re not completely correct,” you told him, and felt that weird little unsettled, butterfly feeling that Sebastian had given you on and off since meeting him. 

“Oh?” 

With that you pressed your lips to his, hoping you weren’t making another mistake. Sebastian cupped your face, kissing you back gently but thoroughly, and as he went in for a second kiss he wrapped himself around your body. Your hands were resting on his chest, still large and muscled from portraying Bucky, and sighed against his mouth. It felt… right, as weird as it was, to kiss Sebastian. Like everything else could kind of just… melt away, while his lips were on yours and his arms were around you. 

“Claire,” he murmured against your mouth, and you froze. Maybe he knew you were making a mistake, maybe he didn’t want this. You’d just admitted to having slept with Chris, after all. You didn’t want him to be some kind of rebound or for him to think that he was either. Sebastian meant far too much to you to ruin your friendship with him too.

“What? Baz… I’m sorry, I—”

He cut you off with another soft kiss, reassuring you, before he pulled away and smiled at you. 

“It’s okay, Claire relax. I want you to kiss me, you know that,” he chuckled, making you laugh. “I just want to make sure you’re okay… you’ve been through a lot. I don’t want to push you into anything. You might need time after Chris and all. And I mean, you weren’t _really_ dating him, but… even if it wasn’t said it kind of really only a couple days ago… I don’t want to rush you.” 

“I… you’re right, Seb. I just… I like this,” you admitted, your face heating up unbelievably quickly. “I mean… you’ve felt this before, with us, haven’t you? Cuz… cuz I have… where you kind of gave me butterflies but at the same time it wasn’t like anxious ones.” 

It was a shitty explanation even if you did say so yourself. Sebastian was taking your words away, your ability to think straight, as your brain replayed the fact that he’d just admitted feelings for you and had kissed you. Wonderfully kissed you. 

“Yeah, I did. I tried to deny it, a lot; I mean, I was still with Rita and then you and Chris… But you’ve got to me right off the get go,” he agreed, and kissed you once more, languidly like he had all the time in the world. “I just don’t want to rush you and have you regret anything.” 

“I won’t, Baz,” you insisted, and this time his lips met yours with a little more force. He was still gentle and sweet, but a tiny bit more demanding as his tongue traced your lip and you opened to him. He kissed you thoroughly, passionately, all the while his thumb softly stroked your arm where his hand rested, as if a silent reminder that he was with you the whole way, and you knew if you so much as paused for a second too long he’d pull away to check in with you. Somehow that knowledge made you a little braver, knowing Sebastian was so considerate and almost hyper-aware of your feelings, and you kissed him back eagerly, making a little sound escape his throat as you did so. 

“So… uh… Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night, or when we get back to New York? If… if it’s not too soon and all? I mean, I know things have been shitty and off for a couple months, but really it only happened a couple days ago,” he breathily asked against your lips, and when you nodded he kissed you again. 

It was so easy to lose track of time, lying on the bed in your hotel room, the two of you making out. His phone buzzed a few times from somewhere, but he never so much as paused or looked in its’ direction, his attention was solely on you. It made you blush a little, the focus that he had and the fact that it was all for you. It was almost enough to make you self-conscious, except for the fact that Sebastian seemed so completely enamoured with kissing you that you couldn’t possibly be.

When he slowly pulled away, eyes still closed and breath still a little shallow, he left only an inch or so of space between your lips, simply breathing. You swallowed hard, and raised your hand to run through his hair and cup his cheek, which made him chuckle deep in his throat as he tilted his head to lean against your hand. With that his blue eyes finally opened, and the soft smile that graced his lips made you blush a little more. It was the kind of smile that you rarely saw on his face; and somehow it was the kind of smile you pictured would be on his lips after waking up slowly on a Sunday morning. 

“You might have to pinch me to make sure this is really happening,” he told you with another chuckle. You didn’t pinch him, but instead pecked his lips once more.   
“Really happening,” you reassured him, and he smiled before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into an embrace, before he flopped over backward and pulled you with him. You let out a startled shriek before you were both laughing; Sebastian holding you against his chest and you were basically lying over top of him. He went quiet for a moment, eyes moving over your face before his smile was wide and he stole another quick kiss. 

Sebastian stayed, holding you and coming up with little goofy comments here and there before he was channel surfing and found a movie to put on to help waste away the afternoon, knowing you weren’t really in a mood to leave. But you were feeling considerably better now than you had been about an hour ago. 

“You didn’t have any other plans today, did you Baz?” you mumbled some time later, the moving getting close to an end. He made a sleepy noise in his throat before nuzzling his face against your hair. Moments later he lifted himself up a little on his elbow to blearily look out toward the window and then back down at you. After a quick few blinks he shook himself, and you realized that he’d nearly fallen asleep curled around you on your hotel bed. 

“No, no I didn’t. I was hoping I could come take you out to the beach or something in case you were still in a downer mood. And if you didn’t talk to Chris I was going to go chew him out for it. Again,” he yawned, and you shook your head, still able to vividly remember the bruise Sebastian had sported for a week after the last time he’d tried to chew Chris out for everything that had gone on. 

“No, I’m glad you aren’t doing the last part,” you said, and he chuckled. Almost without thought your hand had flown up to the right side of his ribcage, where that awful bruise had been from Chris the last time.

“Yeah… I just didn’t see it coming. I don’t think he did either,” Sebastian told you, before stretching and partially flopping over top of you. It made you giggle and playfully try to shove him off, and with a grin he simply rested more of his weight on you until you were full on laughing at him.

“Baz! Come on,” 

“God it’s good to see you laugh again,” he said before rolling back onto his side an instant later. He put a blush on your face even as you stretched and pushed yourself up on your elbows. “I missed that. I was really worried about you.” 

“Thanks, Baz. How about… how about we go to the beach?” you tentatively asked, and watched him light up beside you. 

“Sure, I’d like that,” he agreed, blue eyes sparkling as he stood up and offered his hand to you.


	16. Chapter 16

“Here we go, home sweet home, as long as you want to hang around the city,” Sebastian announced, stifling a yawn as the two of you shuffled into his apartment. The five-hour direct flight hadn’t been that long, but neither of you had slept on the plane, and the time difference made your bodies all the more messed up. Having left at eleven o’clock west coast time, been in the air for five hours and then arrived at seven am, the city already bright and awake, was wreaking havoc on you. All you wanted to do was crash and pass out on whatever closest available furniture there was. 

“Thanks Baz,” you mumbled, leaning against him as he shut and locked the door. His apartment was bright and airy, with several large windows showing a bit of a view of Manhattan from where you were on the eighth floor. 

“Ugh. Okay, we need to at least get a little sleep. Till noon? Maybe one at the latest?” Sebastian suggested, and you nodded, too exhausted to say much else. He walked around closing curtains before he gently took your hand to lead you across his living room and to the hallway. 

“Bathroom’s right here, and I’ve got towels and all that stuff in the hall closet. And uh… well the guest room is here… but…” he was stumbling over his words, and you looked up and over at him, sleepy brain unable to process what was going on and why he was having a hard time explaining everything. 

“Baz?” 

“I just… sorry. I,” he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and you noticed his cheeks were a little pink as you looked up at him. “I was going to say that – if you wanted – you could… you could bunk with me. If you want someone to cuddle with, you know. I uh, wasn’t sure if you’d wanna be by yourself but then I didn’t want to be pushing myself at you and—” 

A quick peck of a kiss silenced him, and he relaxed exponentially, wrapping his arms softly around you as he kissed you back. He rested his forehead against yours, just breathing for a moment before pulling away. 

“So, your call. I’m going to go crawl in, and uh, if you want to join me feel free, okay? If not, totally cool,” he said, pecking your cheek before opening the last remaining door on his hallway and smiling back at you before closing it partway. 

Did you want to crawl in with Sebastian. Yes and no. You wanted so badly to curl up against him again like you had yesterday afternoon, the two of you watching movies and hanging out, but part of you didn’t want to jump that headfirst into something. Again. You had a bad habit of making the wrong call on shit like this – look what had happened with Chris. So as much as you wanted to fall asleep with Sebastian’s warmth wrapped around you, you picked up your bag and drug your feet into his spare bedroom. A few quick moments had your bra off – thank _god_ – and you changed into sleep shorts, leaving your tank top on before you flopped onto the incredibly soft mattress. There was no point in getting under the covers because it was going to be a hot day and you’d only sweat, so instead you pulled the pillow down to your head and let yourself finally fall asleep. 

When you woke up, you were a little disoriented. You didn’t recognize the room you were in, and somehow you weren’t sure you’d been under the sheet when you’d passed out. After making a sound in your throat you lifted your head, and found that yes, you were still in the guest room of Sebastian’s apartment. However, you were now under the sheet, carefully tucked in, with the rest of the covers folded down past your feet, the blinds shut as tight as they could go and your phone charging on the nightstand. That hadn’t been you. 

After checking the time and realizing it was already quarter after one – and you didn’t want to sleep too long in case it threw you off for tonight – you decided it was time to actually get up. Dressing in a clean tank top and deciding the sleep shorts were fine until you decided if showering was on the agenda for what little of today was left, you grabbed your phone and walked out to the rest of Sebastian’s apartment. 

He was awake, and looked like he had been for a while as he went through his fridge, looking for something. It was apparent he’d had the same idea as you; he was dressed in a pair of gym shorts and a muscle shirt, which looked to have been a t-shirt with the arms cut messily off. 

“Morning Baz,” 

With a yelp Sebastian jumped, and you winced as you heard his head connect with the top of the inside of the fridge before he spun around, and you saw the panic on his face for an instant before relief flooded him and he all but collapsed back against his kitchen counter. 

“Iisus Hristos, you scared the shit out of me,” he admitted, and you grimaced before walking over to inspect where he was rubbing the top of his head. Without argument he dipped his head down, letting you move your fingertips across his scalp, feeling only a little bump and not seeing a cut or anything. 

“I’m sorry Baz, I didn’t mean to,” 

“I know, I know, I just didn’t even hear you come out here, that’s all. Did you sleep okay Draguta?” he asked, lifting his head to pull you in against his chest, his chin on top of your hair as he rubbed your back softly. With a sigh you melted in against him, and nodded. 

“I think I died the second my head hit the pillow,” you chuckled, and felt the rumble in his chest as he did the same. 

“You were pretty out when I checked on you,” he allowed, and you raised your head to look at him. His cheeks were flushed again, and he offered you a tiny lopsided grin before explaining. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I uh, I covered you up, just in case you got a little chilled. The AC cut in.” 

“Thanks,” you whispered, and pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. Sebastian caught you off guard when he cupped your cheek, tilted his head just a little to kiss you better, and his tongue flicked against your lips. With a sigh you opened to him, and felt him grip you a little tighter as he deepened the kiss, tasting you as you slid your hands up his arms and around his shoulders. When the kiss ended he let out a little growl from his throat, before playfully nipping at your lip to make you giggle at him before he kissed your cheek and your neck. 

“I like this… I’m sorry if it’s kind of forward and all, but…” Sebastian’s voice was soft as he kept his face buried against your neck, but you had to agree. Sebastian was warm and inviting and strong and safe, amongst many other things. Kissing him was nice, and being here with him so far was great. 

“No, I agree,” you told him, and felt his smile before his lips were softly moving against your skin again. When he kissed you this time you met him, opening your lips to his almost before he asked, and you nearly missed the little sound that came from his throat as you responded to him. But the way he kissed you told you that Sebastian was very excited at this new prospect. 

“Well, I was going to try and make something to eat, but between my limited cooking skills and the fact that I apparently don’t grocery shop enough… want to order something in or go grab something?” he asked, making you laugh as you pulled away from his embrace, much to both of your dislike, to peruse the fridge yourself. Unfortunately Sebastian was right, and there wasn’t much in there, and even the carton of milk was a little bit suspicious. Considering he wasn’t sure _when_ he’d bought it, you didn’t want to risk it. 

For a second your brain was back in Chris’s rented apartment in Atlanta, him making pancakes after going out dancing, or when he just hadn’t wanted to be by himself and invited you over for something to eat. More than once you’d been hanging out and he’d decided to make something for dinner, since you were there anyway, and with a sheepish grin admitted to not having much in the fridge that wasn’t in a pre-sealed container meant to perfectly meet his macros. You had to shake yourself a little, and when you looked up saw concern in Sebastian’s stormy eyes as he watched you, having realized your mind went somewhere else for a couple of moments, but thankfully he simply let you have the time to sort it out in your head rather than feeling the need to say or do something about it. He just held you and waited for your mind to wander back, so he could assess what you needed afterward.

“Maybe we can grab something? And then go grocery shopping later?” you suggested, and with a chuckle he nodded, kissing your forehead tenderly. Thankfully, he understood that you didn’t want to talk about what your brain had been sent back to with a slight sense of déjà vu and spaced you out for a little bit. He’d let you talk about it in your own time. 

“Sounds good to me. I’m just gonna throw nicer clothes on,” he said, heading toward his room. You nodded and followed him, turning into the spare room and closing the door. Jean shorts were a little more acceptable than your pyjama shorts, and after running a brush through your hair you ponytailed it, pulling a Cincinnati Reds cap on over top to hide your slept-on hair. Makeup was just going to be a waste of time if all you were doing was running to a deli or something, so you didn’t bother. Once your wallet was in your back pocket you walked back out to the main area of Sebastian’s apartment, and when he saw you he frowned. 

“What?” you asked, and he walked over and flicked the peak of your cap. 

“That’s gross. We’re going to have to fix that,” he teased, still keeping a straight face even as you crossed your arms. 

“Nope, not happening. You can take the girl out of Ohio but you aren’t taking the Ohio out of the girl,” you told him, and after a moment he broke and grinned, sliding his arm around you as he picked up his keys and wallet on the way to the door. 

“We’ll see about that; if you’re here long enough you’ll start to come ‘round,” he joked, making your cheeks heat up as he did so, even though he couldn’t see it. 

The thought that Sebastian was planning and _hoping_ for this to turn into a long-term thing put those little butterflies back in the bottom of your stomach. The little happy ones even, not anxious ones.


	17. Chapter 17

“Oh my god, can you just move back to New York? I know you said you liked living here when you were in _Rent_ ,” Sebastian begged, blue eyes wide as he shovelled some more of your spaghetti and meat sauce into his mouth. Grocery shopping had thankfully been uneventful; nobody had recognized Sebastian and so the two of you had been able to meander the store, going through and getting the essentials before finding something to make for dinner, and then even indulging on some junk food. Sebastian’s weakness was ice cream, you learned, and yours was anything with chocolate. So, naturally, there was now a tub of ice cream in the freezer and chocolate sauce in the fridge to have for dessert. Not wanting to spend a lot of time cooking, spaghetti had been decided upon for dinner, and Sebastian was on his second plateful. Apparently any semblance of healthy diet had gone out the window tonight. 

“Yeah, I did like living here,” you acknowledged, before taking another small bite. You kind of had done a really good job of making the sauce, and that’s what makes or breaks spaghetti after all. “But it was affording to live here that was a little problematic Baz.” 

“We’ll figure something out. We’ll make it work,” he assured you, before letting out something between a moan and a groan as he took another bite. “Because I _need_ your cooking in my life. All the time.” 

“Well, thanks Baz, nice to know I’m good for something,” you teased, and in moments he was beside you, nuzzling at your cheek and your neck and tickling you until you were nearly in tears and shrieking from laughing so hard. He was too fast, and you weren’t able to keep his fingers away from your sides, so you just gave up, laughing until you could hardly breathe and he finally quit his playful assault. 

“You’re good for lots of things. Cooking is just one of them,” he told you, and with a devilish grin leaned in for what you thought was a kiss before he licked a stripe up your cheek, leaving a disgusting amount of saliva on your skin. 

“Ew! Baz! What the hell?” you asked, still laughing even as he sat up properly to let you do the same. 

“Just letting you know I appreciate you,” he innocently told you as you swiped at the spit that was now on your cheek. Before he could react you’d wiped it on his sleeve, and he made a face while swatting at your hand. 

“Ew! I don’t want it back!” 

“Too late! I just like to share Baz, that’s all,” you giggled and he laughed before shaking his head at you. 

“You are something,” he teased before you found yourself pulled into his arms for a deep kiss. The kind that sent a little shiver down your spine as his tongue swept over yours and his fingers threaded into your hair. Even the taste of spaghetti sauce wasn’t enough to dissuade from the absolute tension he created when he kissed you, like your body was humming on energy coming from wherever Sebastian was touching you. 

You raised a hand to cup his cheek, feeling the hint of stubble that was on his skin beneath your fingertips, and when you let your hand slide to the nape of his neck, your fingers winding in his hair you felt the little shiver that went down his spine. A tremor that started with your touch and seemed to engulf his whole body for an instant. The thought that you could even have half the effect on Sebastian that he seemed to have on you was incredible, and you gripped his hair lightly, as much to see what his reaction would be as because you simply wanted to. 

“Claire,” he breathed against your lips, voice deep, husky and throaty before he kissed you hard. He pressed into you, his chest against yours, his hand splayed across the small of your back, the other moving to caress your cheek as his lips moved over yours. 

With ease he leaned you back, until you were lying down on the couch beneath him, still wrapped around each other as you kissed. It was easy, and it felt right to be there with Sebastian, in the peace and safety of his apartment, where neither of you had to worry about anything else. 

It took a few minutes, but soon you could hear buzzing from somewhere in the apartment, and after a few moments of ignoring it Sebastian let out a huff, lifting himself up onto his palms above you, blue eyes tracing your face. You chuckled at how annoyed he apparently was that his phone was going off and interrupting the impromptu making out that had taken place on his living room furniture. You ruffled his hair, making him smile before he pecked your lips and then, with a grunt to show how much effort it took, got up and wandered toward the kitchen cupboard where he’d put his phone down earlier. He nearly growled, catching you off guard, before he all but flung his phone back down at the counter and came back to the living room, picking up his fork and plate to bring with as he did so. 

“Hey, Baz, you okay?” you asked, and the look he gave you softened his expression, but not enough to not see that whatever had taken place had really irked him. He angrily ate the last two bites of his dinner on the way to the living room.

“Well, I was,” he huffed, flopping down beside you and putting his dinnerware on the coffee table beside yours. “But I think I’m putting the cell on silence or airplane mode for the rest of the night.” 

“Throwing it at the countertop wasn’t enough?” you teased, but when he didn’t so much as crack a grin you had a feeling you knew exactly what had transpired. “Was it… was it Chris?” 

“Yeah, yeah it was. The fucking nerve… trying to call me to talk to you. _Because you aren’t answering his calls_ , and I went to LA while you were there and now neither of us are there so odds are you came back to the city with me; and funny how shitty it is to be on the receiving end of that isn’t it?” he drawled, sarcasm and a little venom dripping off of his words as he said so, before he blew out a long breath and turned to you. 

“Sorry, sorry I’m acting like a total jackass. I just… god it just _pisses me off_ how he can ignore you for months and pull all this and then oh my god, you don’t answer his calls for a day or two and he’s freaking out,” he explained, running a hand through his hair and making it stand on end. You couldn’t resist, reaching out to run your fingers through it and help pat it back down, making Sebastian sigh and lean into you. 

“Just grinds my gears. He needs to grow up; if he hadn’t been an asshole you’d answer his calls. Or be in LA with him instead of here with me. That simple,” he finished, and you wrapped your arms around Sebastian’s shoulders, lost in thought as you tried to process everything that was going on. 

Chris was trying to call. You hadn’t noticed because your phone was sitting in the kitchen too, and you weren’t sure you’d taken it off of airplane mode anyway once you’d arrived in New York. Your parents might be freaking out a little bit, but you’d enjoyed being off the networks for a few days. You’d seen a picture of Chris and the blonde on a magazine at the grocery store, and while Sebastian had quickly steered your attention away, you knew that if there were pictures of him with her there would be stories and gossip about what happened to the two of you out there. Maybe he just wanted a straight up story for everyone about why you’d broken up, who knew. 

You weren’t angry with him, _really_ ; you were just… a weird mix of still very upset and then numb when you thought about it. Sebastian helped keep most of those thoughts away, even though you knew you’d need to process all of it better than you had while being a teary fucking mess in your hotel room in LA waiting for Sebastian to get there. That had been more of wallowing in the hurt than going through it or doing much about it, and you were really aware of that fact. But at the same time, you definitely weren’t ready to try and have a phone conversation with him because that was just going to get messy. And the fact that Sebastian was so worked up about it didn’t make it any easier. He was so concerned and upset for you and how all of this was affecting you that you weren’t sure either of you were ready for you to talk to Chris yet. 

“I don’t really want to deal with all of that tonight… I’m having far too nice of a time here with you,” you softly explained, and his warm smile met your eyes before he kissed you sweetly. 

“Same here. So… I’m setting my phone to airplane mode and leaving it until tomorrow,” he suggested, looking toward the kitchen where the offending phone was. You grinned and nodded, glad for his understanding and like-mindedness. 

“Sounds good to me, Baz,” 

“Thank God. Can I ask you a terrible question?” he asked, and you nodded as the two of you slowly untangled yourselves and stood up from the couch. Sebastian’s arms snaked around your waist from behind, and he leaned his chin on your shoulder, walking along behind you as you carried the two plates to his kitchen sink, rinsing them off before loading the dishwasher, even as Sebastian loudly insisted that you didn’t need to do so, even tugging at your arms playfully to try and get you to quit. A quick look was all it took to silence his complaints, and he rolled his eyes before kissing your temple. Then you realized he was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, as he reached past you to disconnect his phone from service. 

“So… question? Don’t hate me for it,” he spoke up as you turned in his arms, facing him while leaning back against the kitchen counter. His fingertips trailed along your arm, as you studied him for just a moment, wondering why he was suddenly acting a little nervous.

“Shoot,” 

“Any way you want to cuddle tonight?” he whispered, looking as nervous as you’d ever seen him. You pretended to think on it for a moment, watching him squirm nervously before you were laughing and kissed his cheek. “I mean, I know you didn’t want to last night, I just… just was wondering…”

“I do like cuddling,” you allowed, and he laughed in relief before kissing you again. 

“Good. Because I really, really want to wake up to you in the morning,” he confessed, making you blush again at how goddamn adorable he was. Another kiss and then he was gently leading you toward his room after having picked up your phone and checked the screen, seeing the little airplane in the corner that meant you hadn’t turned the service back on. Gently taking it from his hands, you took it off airplane mode and watched it have a little seizure as the mass of missed texts and calls flooded in. Chris even had Mackie and RDJ try getting a hold of you, it looked like, as you saw several missed calls from Robert followed by a text with a sad face wondering why you were ignoring him. Mackie was a little less covert about it, and after trying to call four or five times sent a couple texts wondering what was going on and why Chris was ‘losing his freaking mind’ trying to get a hold of you. Two hours after that text he sent another one because his wife saw a picture of Chris with another chick on a magazine and had asked him what was up, and because he didn’t know he was asking you. It was partly to satisfy the curiosity, partly to entice you to respond, you knew, but that had been four hours ago already. 

Then there were the missed calls from Chris. Twenty-three of them, to be exact, and five voicemails, on top of the small mass of texts he’d sent; a mix of apologies and wanting to explain and please call him back’s. It was almost overwhelming, and then there was Lizzie who’d seen the magazine, bought it, and was apparently losing her mind over it, telling you she was going to storm right up to Chris’s front door and give him a piece of her mind if she had to, but to please call her as soon as you were feeling okay or if you needed to talk or anything, because she was one of the most amazing people you knew. You let out a sigh, felt your hand tremble a little bit before Sebastian took the phone out of your hand and turned the screen off, holding you tight and kissing your forehead before picking you up with an ease that should’ve been unnatural. Instead of saying anything, however, you wrapped your arms around him and leaned in, content to let him carry you down the hall and into his bedroom, where he gently sat you down on the bed. With that he walked toward his dresser, and rifled through it for a moment.

“Here, if you want different pyjamas,” he offered you a t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, and you took the t-shirt but let him know you had your own shorts to wear. Not that his didn’t look comfy, you assured him, but you’d feel better not wearing his underwear to bed. Sebastian simply shrugged, insisting it was your loss, before chuckling and heading to the bathroom. You slowly walked back down the hall and changed in the spare room, pulling your charger from the wall before nervously walking into Sebastian’s room. He emerged from the bathroom a few minutes after, shirtless and jeans hanging low on his hips, the waistband of his Calvin Klein’s showing. You knew he was trying to take your mind off of your phone, because he’d seen the influx of missed calls and messages too, but there was a hint of awkwardness in the air that hadn’t been there before, and it had everything to do with the fact you’d agreed to sleep in his bed.

“Want me to wear pyjamas?” he asked, and your eyes widened. You’d assumed he’d be wearing nightclothes of some kind.

“God... I mean… instead of my boxers? Like actual pyjama pants? I’m not sleeping buck-naked,” he quickly backtracked, grabbing a pair of said plaid pyjama pants and waving them at you to make his point, and both of you laughed awkwardly before you both relaxed a bit. Assuring him that whatever he normally wore would be fine – as long as he was wearing _something_ , he stripped out of his jeans, and pulled the covers back, crawling in before patting the space beside him. You only hesitated an instant before sitting down on the mattress – as feather soft as the one in his spare room – and sliding beneath his silky-soft sheets.

“If it’s too weird, just boot me out,” he informed you a few minutes later as he cuddled up, his chest pressed against your back, his arms around you. 

“Baz I am not kicking you out of your own bed,” you reprimanded him, and he simply laughed. 

“The beds are the exact same… so really, just give me a boot and I’ll go curl up in there. I sleep like a rock, so it’s easier for me to swap beds than you,” he explained, and kissed your shoulder before resting his head back on the pillow. 

“I’m still not kicking you out of your own bed,” you told him, eyelids feeling heavy as you settled into the soft mattress and silky sheets. Sebastian was the perfect temperature for you to snuggle against; his body putting off just enough heat to keep you toasty warm beneath the covers but not be too hot where you were uncomfortable. Before you’d realized it consciously you’d pressed yourself back into him, and Sebastian squeezed you a little tighter, holding you against his body as he gladly accepted the movement. 

“Night Claire,” he mumbled, voice already thick with sleep. 

“Night Baz,” you replied, and found yourself drifting off almost immediately.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things are about to get steamy - just wanted to throw a warning in here for anybody who may not want to read it. I don't know why (Because I normally don't write stuff that gets... well... a little more explicit) but these two seem to just do their own thing no matter what I think is going to happen :S 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter
> 
> Also, because I ended up in the middle of one of the most traumatizing situations ever to have happened in my life over the past week, if anybody has any idea/requests for short (like one shot or just a couple chapter) stories revolving around the Marvel characters I like to write or something like that, I'm more than happy to work on a few. I'm not really able to go to work and do that sort of thing yet and would really like a way to distract my brain in the meantime :)

You woke up slowly, comfortably, and sighed as you snuggled into the warmth that was wrapped around you. Arms tightened around your waist, and lips pressed softly to the nape of your neck, breath gentle and warm against your skin before you forced your eyes to open. Sebastian’s room met your eyes, and you sighed before rolling in his arms and meeting Sebastian’s waiting lips. His kiss was sweet and gentle, full lips pressed to yours before he kissed the tip of your nose and then your forehead, the two of you manoeuvring wordlessly so that your head was tucked beneath his chin. The smile that came to your lips was easy, and you couldn’t believe how comfortable you felt lying there with Sebastian. Your chest didn’t even have that wrenching pain in it that was there the night after going to Chris’s place and instead being met with that blonde girl. Somehow he’d eased that away. 

“Morning, puiut,” he told you, voice quiet and raspy with sleep. You held back a small giggle before you let your lips graze his neck, and then whispered a reply to him. Goosebumps broke out all across his chest from the action, and after a moment of you restraining your laughter he chuckled and then scooted down the bed a little, so that he was face to face with you to kiss you once again. 

“Sorry, I have morning breath,” he mumbled, keeping his kisses chaste. You raised an eyebrow at him, making him laugh, before reminding him that you were in the exact same state. 

“Claire, hush. I’m trying to impress you here,” he teased, and then nuzzled your face before those full lips began moving down along your jaw and neck. You hummed, tipping your head back to give Sebastian better access, and when you felt his teeth graze against your skin at the neck of his t-shirt you couldn’t help the little gasp. It was like he’d sent a tiny shock across your skin that you felt all the way in your toes. 

“You like that?” he asked, and you let out a tiny nod. Sebastian then kissed and almost nipped his way across the collar of the t-shirt, letting his teeth nibble your skin along the way until you were nearly trembling in his grip. One hand had snaked up into his thick, beautiful brunet hair, and he made a little groan in his throat as your fingers tightened slightly in the strands. 

He kissed his way back up your neck until your lips met, and after curled physically into each other; Sebastian’s hand on your thigh helping you sling a leg over his hip and holding you there, before your free arms were both exploring a little. Your hand moved over his bare chest, across his muscular shoulders and back. His moved up your thigh to your waist, before his hand spread across the small of your back and pulled you tight against him. Your body was responding to him, your skin feeling warm and flushed, and Sebastian’s skin felt like it was on fire, hot to the touch against your fingertips. 

When he lightly ground his hips against you he drug a moan from your throat, and he let out a small whine once it reached his ears, kissing you with gusto as the two of you pressed into each other. With only a t-shirt, a pair of cotton shorts and a pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs separating you it was easy to feel almost the entirety of each other. Especially when every hard angle of Sebastian’s body was pressed against you, and he was making no point of pulling away; he was hard and aroused, pressed against your belly as he kissed you passionately. 

“Do you want to wait? Want me to stop or…?” Sebastian breathlessly asked, and you swallowed hard. You wanted this, with him, badly, but considering the last time you were with someone… you were terrified of fucking things up. And considering wanting to take Sebastian’s feelings into account after having been with Chris made it even worse.

“Baz, I want to, I really do… I’m just scared of screwing it all up,” you admitted, knowing that Sebastian would understand. His expression softened as he cupped your cheek, blue-grey eyes searching your face before he kissed you so tenderly your knees would’ve buckled had you been standing. 

“We do this however you want to, Claire. You won’t screw it up,” he assured you, pressing chaste kisses to your lips and cheek. 

“You’re sure?” 

“As sure as I can be. I can go hop in the shower if you want to stop this, or we can just keep making out or we can let this go where it seems to be going and at any point you want to stop we do… whatever you want,” he repeated, and after a split moment’s hesitation you pulled his lips back to yours. Sebastian groaned into your mouth, his tongue teasing at your lips to let him in as you let a hand slide down to his ass to pull him tight against you. With that he did the same, letting his hand move from the small of your back to cup your ass and pulled you in while simultaneously grinding his hips against you, nearly making you whimper from the feel of him rock hard and straining against his boxers. 

A small tug on his shoulder had him rolling the two of you so he was on top, your leg still hooked around his hips and holding him tight against yours as he lavished your skin in kisses, his hands moving to the hem of the t-shirt you had borrowed the night before. 

“Yeah?” he mumbled against your lips, and waited until you nodded to begin tugging the material up your body. Slowly your stomach was exposed, and then your breasts, and to Sebastian’s credit he pulled the material over your head before really paying much attention to your now exposed chest. But the moan he let out and the way he pressed wet, sloppy kisses down your neck and between your breasts told you he appreciated what he saw. Soon his lips, tongue and teeth were on your skin, and it was all you could do to arch your back into him, pushing your hips up against his and making him grunt. 

“Fuck… you’re beautiful Claire. I mean, I knew it before, but la naiba …” he mumbled, and you chuckled at his enthusiasm before carding your fingers through his hair again. He keened, eyelashes fluttering at the sensation of your nails just hardly scraping against his scalp while you ran your fingers through the brunet tresses. 

Your hands wandered slowly down his body, leaving a shiver to go down Sebastian’s spine and a moan to spill from his lips as your fingertips played with the waistband of his shorts. His eyelashes were dark against his cheeks as he froze, holding himself up just inches above you and heaving for breath, before he turned his eyes to meet yours. They were all but black; his pupils blown with desire as those expressive orbs begged you for something that Sebastian wouldn’t say, unless he knew you were one hundred and ten percent okay and invested. So instead you kissed his cheek and pulled away enough to see his expression as your hand slid over the bulge of the front of his shorts and cupped him, and his eyes nearly rolled back into his head as his mouth fell open a little, exposing his pink tongue before he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and worried it with his teeth as he moaned. 

“Claire…” 

“Baz,” you whispered, letting your fingers stroke him through the material. His arms were shaking now, and his breath was coming in short, shallow pants as he held himself still. With that you pushed the elastic waistband down, careful to not let it snap against his skin, before dragging your toes along his leg as you raised your foot to catch the waistband and drag the shorts over the swell of his ass and down his sculpted thighs. 

“Claire…” he choked out your name and as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders he lowered himself to you, nuzzling into your neck and kissing you sloppily as he ground his now naked hips into you, needing friction against his erection. You let your hands slip down to cup his bare ass, and he buried his face into the pillow at your shoulder to help cut off his groan as he first pushed his ass back into your hands, wanting you to squeeze his flesh, and then ground forward against your hips again, your hands gripping him tightly. 

“Baz,” you squirmed beneath him, wanting, _needing_ your shorts to come off and to feel every inch of his hot bare skin against yours. As if he’d telepathically heard you Sebastian was soon shoving at the thin cotton sleep shorts, working them down your hips and then thighs without lifting himself off of you. Inch by inch he exposed your skin, and instead covered you with his own, and once they were halfway down your thighs you were able to shimmy them down to your knees and kick them off. 

Sebastian’s hands were moving again then, sliding up your legs to grab at your hips and pulling you to meet his. Then he slid his hand along your stomach between the two of you, and lifted himself up slightly. You couldn’t help but groan and egg him on, giving his ass a little pat that put a devilish smirk on his face before his hand slid between your thighs, fingertips teasing you and making you groan and squirm beneath him. 

“Feel good, drăguţă?” he asked, and you nodded, feeling him slip a finger between your folds and stroke you. You threw your head back and arched your spine underneath him, making him groan in pleasure as he slid a finger in, finding you hot, wet and ready for him. 

“Claire… damn it,” he groaned against your neck, before sucking on the skin just hard enough to make you yelp in surprise. 

“Tell me if it feels good, tell me if you like it,” he urged you, and you moaned before turning your head to meet those beautiful steel grey eyes. 

“So good, Baz, it feels so good,” you panted, and he groaned as you slid a hand around his hip to grasp him. Slowly, in measured motions you began to stroke him, and soon Sebastian was not only gasping in time, but he was stroking you at the same pace. You kept it up until neither could stand it any longer, and Sebastian captured your lips in a hot kiss, sliding his hand from between your legs to instead hold your thighs and spread them a little further so he could properly settle in between them. There was no need for hesitation or second thought; you were safe, here with Sebastian, and you wanted nothing more than all of him in that moment, the same as he did with you. When your lips met you felt his hand move over yours, and you let him guide himself to your entrance, your hands at his hips, urging him, and both of you pulled away from the kiss with a heavy moan as he slid his full member into you. It took a few seconds to adjust; he was thick and long and all hard male. 

“You okay drăgă?” he asked breathily, and when you nodded and again lightly smacked his ass with a smirk he began to move. Sliding out nearly all the way before slowly screwing himself home into you again, bottoming out as his hips ground against yours. 

“Baz, please,” you begged, and with a nod and an open mouthed kiss he picked up the pace until your nails were digging into his the skin of his back and every snap of his hips pulled a breathy ‘oh’ from your lips. He continued to kiss and suck along your skin wherever he could reach, pausing for a moment to put your knees over his shoulders for a few minutes, the angle letting him penetrate even deeper and create an even more intense sensation. Until it was too much for you, and with a quick reassuring kiss he leaned back enough for you to wrap your legs back around his hips and pull him back down to you.

It hit you like a brick wall; suddenly the earth shifted out from under you and you were falling, before your body exploded and wave after wave of pleasure was washing over you. Sebastian groaned and finished; the pull of your body orgasming too alluring for his own to not respond in kind. The two of you laid there, covered in a mix of your own and each other’s sweat, skin overheated, and both feeling leaden with pleasure as you panted for breath and placed feather soft kisses to each other’s skin. He lifted himself to pull out and you groaned, earning a concerned look from the brunet’s wide blue eyes. 

“Don’t want you to,” you mumbled, earning a proud little smirk from him before he kissed you sweetly. 

“You think I want to?” he teased, kissing you again and then cupping your cheek a moment, his eyes moving over your face intently. 

“Nothing feels more right than being here with you,” he whispered, and pecked your lips again before pulling out with an unimpressed sound coming from his throat. 

“I’ll be right back, ‘kay?” when you nodded he stood and padded his way to the bathroom. You could do nothing more but lay there and bask in the delightful feeling thrumming through your body, your limbs too leaden to do much else anyway. Sebastian knew how to thoroughly take care of you. 

“Here… shit I’m sorry,” he groaned as he returned with a washcloth, and your eyes widened immediately as he reacted. Once he saw it, he was soon beside you, covering you with reassuring kisses even as he wiped the warm washcloth over your thighs. 

“I just… I didn’t use a condom,” he admitted, looking like he was about to have an anxiety attack. “I’m so sorry – god Claire I just… I couldn’t not be with you… I didn’t think… do we need to go to a pharmacy?” 

It took a few moments for your brain to comprehend all that Sebastian was saying to you, and once you did your cheeks were hot and pink. You hadn’t thought of it either, and it had been at the very, very back of your mind with Sebastian’s hard length pressed against your stomach and his finger inside of you. 

“I’m on the pill, Baz, we’ll be okay. They won’t give plan B to someone who’s on the pill anyway,” you told him, and after a moment he nodded, looking slightly less panicked than he had a moment ago. 

“Okay, okay. So we just need to... uh… keep an eye on things, then?” he asked, and you nodded. After a condom break with a boyfriend – a long time ago, fresh out of high school – you’d found out that pharmacies didn’t think Plan B was necessary if you were on the pill, good, bad, or otherwise. Thankfully things had worked out then, and all you could do was hope the same would happen this go around. 

“Yeah, but I’m sure we’re okay, we just can’t make a habit of it,” you assured him, and he shot you a wavering smile before sliding beneath the covers again and sidling up next to you. 

“I won’t – I’ll buy some today,” he decided with a quick kiss to your temple. The washcloth was discarded on the floor, and you were about to sass him about it when he cut you off with another kiss, mumbling about you not worrying about his neatness at that point in time and instead that you should be concerned about kissing him back and deciding where you wanted him to take you to dinner later on. It was enough to make you giggle and relax, and you wrapped your arms around him as the two of you settled in, apparently not getting up for a while yet. Both phones were lying on Sebastian’s bedside table, and it was obvious Sebastian had little intention of checking on them for a while. Which was fine by you; he’d created a safe, happy little bubble for the two of you in his apartment and you were more than content to stay there as long as was physically possible. Sebastian’s fingers lazily traced designs along your skin as both of you lay there, breathing in sync and hovering on the edge of sleep yet again. 

“We don’t have to get up yet, right?” you asked, and Sebastian barked out a laugh before kissing your shoulder as he pulled the sheet up to cover the both of you and snuggled up. 

“Hell no we don’t have to get up yet. I’m planning on keeping you in here a while,” he responded, and with a smile on your face you curled into him and closed your eyes. 

“Good. I like that plan,”


	19. Chapter 19

Two weeks. You spent two weeks in the comfort of Sebastian’s apartment, all but ignoring the real world and real life going on outside of Manhattan and his building. The two of you went to the gym, the grocery store, doing every day, usual things. He even introduced you to his ‘Gym Mafia’ buddies, bringing you along one morning to the Drive 495 club. It had made you blush a little, but Don and the guys were all great, and he even invited you to work out with them, giving you pointers and information here and there that you definitely appreciated. 

Sebastian – as he’d promised numerous times trying to coax you (with or without Chris) to the city since filming had ended – touristed you around the city, making sure you saw every landmark that was a ‘must see’. Central park, Soho, the zoo, Statue of Liberty, Rockafeller Center, the beach in Brooklyn, all of it was captured by your phone’s camera as Sebastian led you around, taking you on subways and walking down the bustling streets, as at home as he could possibly be while doing so. With your hand tucked in against his elbow, you were more than happy to just be there with him, watching the excitement all over his features as he shared his home city with you. It was easy and simple to see the way he loved this place as he excitedly pointed out his favourite book store, a coffee shop that held a memory of getting a part or meeting someone, the intersection where he almost got hit by a car running to an audition he was late for that turned out to be the role of Carter Baizen on _Gossip Girl_. All of it held so much life, so much of Sebastian, it was hard to think of it as anything else. 

But real life was going to start interrupting, and you knew it. As nice as it was, it wasn’t realistic that either of you could afford to live in a cellphone or social media free bubble forever, not when getting parts depended on being able to be contacted for said parts. So, after crafting an apology letter to your agent – about needing some personal time and having spent it basically off the grid, you reconnected your phone to send it. Once again, you had to set the phone down and leave it be as it tried to process the influx of missed communications that were flooding its’ system. Sebastian’s phone was no different, as he’d disconnected himself mostly in solidarity, spared for a quick Skype phone call with his mother to reassure her that he was fine and well. You’d retreated to the spare room, letting him have privacy while he spoke to her even though the conversation was mostly in Romanian anyways. Being able to speak his native language with someone helped him keep use of it, and you knew that he felt that keeping the Romanian helped him feel connected to his past and where he came from, so it was hugely important to him, and you didn’t want to be impeding on it. 

When he lightly rapped on the door and let himself in, both of your phones in hand, you smiled up at him. He soon was curled up around you, tucking your head beneath his chin, pressing his chest against your back as he snuck an arm over your waist, putting the phones down on the mattress in front of you. They’d stopped seizing, thank god, but now the real moment of truth came; seeing what all the messages were and who they were from. 

“We don’t have to do this tonight, if you don’t want to,” Sebastian murmured against the shell of your ear, lips brushing against your skin and putting a little tingle down your spine. “I can open that bottle of wine and we can watch Netflix and deal with it all in the morning, fresh slate and all that. Today was good, I don’t want to wreck it.” 

“I know Baz, but… we’ve been avoiding it for too long already,” you sighed, feeling his hand slide down across your stomach and to your hip. His lips no longer simply brushing your skin, Sebastian was now gently mouthing along your neck, tongue flicking out from between his teeth to raise goose bumps along your skin. Somehow, in a very short period of time, Sebastian had learned to read you like an open book. It was both exhilarating and terrifying, because he knew exactly how to elicit a response from you. He knew when to pull away, or when to push if he was afraid you weren’t okay. Like he was in your head at all times, somehow. 

“I know, I know. I’m being selfish; I like keeping you to myself draguta,” he purred, and you bit your bottom lip in an attempt to keep a small moan from slipping out. His strong hand was now caressing the curve of your hip, fingertips teasing at the hem of your shirt as he crowded himself against your back a little more, letting you feel his pelvis pressed against you, member already hard. The moan did escape then as he pulled you tight against him, kissing your neck roughly, scraping his teeth ever so lightly before the two of you rolled and he was holding himself over top of you, mouth desperately and passionately taking your own. 

“God Baz,” you nearly whimpered as he lowered himself down, keeping most of his weight off but settling his hips against yours between your legs. You could feel every hard plane of his body, his gym shorts doing nothing to disguise his form from you. 

“Like that?” he mumbled, kissing his way down your neck and between your breasts, slightly calloused hands coming up to cup your chest while he kissed his way down to the hem of the shirt, even flicking his tongue out to cover more skin underneath the fabric. 

“Off, please,” you begged, pushing lightly at his chest and tugging at his T-shirt, wanting the fabric off of him as well, knowing he’d understand exactly what you wanted. With a grin he sat back on his haunches, slowly reaching for the bottom hem of his shirt before gracefully pulling it over his head, giving you a bit of a drawn out show as inch by inch his beautiful torso was exposed; the Adonis lines that disappeared into his shorts, the discernible lines of abs, the swell of his pectoral muscles, before he flung his t-shirt to the floor somewhere and reached to help you out of yours. That done it was Sebastian’s turn to moan as he laid back down, kissing you hard as he drug his fingertips over your newly exposed skin. You were doing the same, trailing your fingers over his chest, tracing the lines of his abs, the V lines of his hips until you were playing with the hem of his shorts. His breath was coming in short bursts then, the material straining slightly to accommodate him aroused as he lavished your skin with attention before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and giving them a hard tug down. With a slight jump you lifted your butt up to help, and he pushed the material down to your knees before his hands were sliding back up your thighs to squeeze the swell of your ass. Most of you was uncovered; the thong you wore meaning his hands were on bare skin, and he pulled your hips up toward him to grind against his hard length, needing friction.

It was easy to make quick work of his gym shorts and his Calvin’s, pushing them down in one motion and seeing Sebastian’s length bob as he was freed from the material. You let your hands slip down to cup his bare ass, and he buried his face into the pillow at your shoulder to help cut off his groan. You’d discovered the first time the two of you had been together that among other things Sebastian may or may not ever admit to outside of a relationship, he did enjoy when you grabbed his ass. He’d even breathily asked for you to smack his ass once, but had backtracked when he’d seen the shock on your face from his request. You had been a little surprised, and he’d backtracked before you could say or do otherwise; however this time you gave his ass a firm pat, making him keen against your neck as he pressed his body against you.

Already a little red and swollen with anticipation, he groaned into your neck when you wrapped a hand around him, and he was gently thrusting his hips forward into your hand. A few strokes later and he was making quick work of your bra and underwear, his patience having been worn thin with desire even as he took his time dragging his fingertips as lightly as possible over your skin, teasing – even though he was panting trying to control himself as you stroked him. Deftly he touched, stroked, and brought you to a shaking, quivering mess around two of his fingers, nipping at the juncture of his shoulder and neck, unable to think of anything else but having him. 

“One second, okay?” he murmured, and shot out of bed with a speed you hadn’t seen. Your system was nearly overloaded, so close to the release you needed but shocked by the sudden lack of heat and contact from Sebastian. The change in stimuli was hardly processed before he was back, condom in hand and kissing you as he slid back onto the bed. 

“Just needed this,” he explained, as if it were necessary, and without complaint let you take it from his hand. Blue eyes bright and focused, even if his pupils were blown out, Sebastian leaned back on his haunches, giving you a great view and full access to his body as you opened the foil, tossing it in the garbage before carefully rolling the latex onto him. Those blue eyes were glued to your fingers where they touched his skin, his length twitching lightly at the contact, before he pulled you in for a deep kiss and laid the two of you back down, lining himself up as he did so. He froze then, blue eyes turned up, moving over your face, his tip pressed against you.  
“Yeah?” 

“Jesus Baz, _please_ ,” you begged, unable to handle his all-consuming need to check in at this moment, even though you actually found it very sweet and endearing. But when you were this riled up – thanks to Sebastian – you could pass on the stop and talk it all out when all you needed was for him to be inside you. 

Moments later you got exactly that; your body stretching to take him in, the room filled with low, pleased moans as he filled you, stopping for air when his hips were pressed against yours and he was fully sheathed inside of your body. That feeling was still so new, so tantalizing that neither of you could find words or move for the first few seconds, needing to simply process what being together felt like. You loved the way he was almost too big, your body having to accommodate him but in a way that wasn’t too overwhelming; Sebastian always left you feeling incredibly satisfied and full after sex, being a very thorough and talented lover amongst all else.

Some time later the orgasm hit you hard, your back arching, chest struggling to fill your lungs with enough air as your body shook and tightened around him. His name left your lips in a groan, which made Sebastian’s jaw drop ever so slightly as he bucked his hips. He had told you that nothing was sexier than hearing you say his name during sex, and while you never did it just to make a point of doing it, because it felt natural, his reaction never got old either. Like you’d given him the highest praise there was and he was shocked every time to receive it. 

“On top for a bit?” he panted, and you nodded, taking a few long breaths before the two of you moved, Sebastian making himself comfortable on his back before you straddled his narrow hips, his large hands helping to steady and support you as you lifted yourself up to slide down onto him. Blue eyes nearly rolled back into their sockets as he moaned, head pressed back into his pillow, hips rising up to meet you. As much as it wasn’t your favourite position, getting to watch Sebastian like this was making a valiant effort to change your opinion. 

Chest glistening slightly with sweat, skin flushed from exertion, some of his hair plastered down to his forehead while those blue eyes hazily watched you from under his thick lashes, he was the epitome of sexy. His muscles always looked more defined, his body having been working, muscles clenching and moving and so the definition in his arms, chest and stomach were more apparent. You could feel his thighs trembling, knew when he bit his lip and his fingertips dug slightly into your hips that he was trying to stave off the inevitable as you moved your hips, seated on him. 

“God Claire… this view…” he rambled, hands reaching to cup the swell of your breasts as you leaned down, capturing his lips while re-positioning your legs, getting your knees underneath you. He nipped at your lip, feeling the angle change, and one large hand moved from your breast to cover your lower back, holding you tight against him. You tucked some hair behind your ear as you pulled back from the kiss, not wanting it falling in his face as those steely eyes opened and stole your breath away.

“I can say the same about you,” you whispered, your voice a little husky. “God do you look hot like this.” 

He keened, bucking his hips up against you as his mouth worked to find skin to kiss and suck on. However, you’d anticipated this reaction and pulled back just a little, rolling your hips as you did so and bringing a whimper from between his kiss-swollen lips. It was like he craved you taking control sometimes, with the little mewls and whimpers that could escape his lips when you did something like this, but the way his grip on your hips tightened you knew he loved it. The knowledge that you were able to make those sounds come from Sebastian was an undeniable turn on.

“Jesus… Claire… oh god...” 

“Want me to make you come?” you whispered against his ear, and an obscene moan ripped from him as he nodded eagerly. 

“Oh please, yes please, _please_ ,” 

One hand on the mattress just above his shoulder to help steady you, the other hand gently gripping his hair – because you’d learned Sebastian loved it if you tugged at his hair a little bit – you began to really ride him. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered shut, dark eyelashes contrasting his skin as his mouth hung open, every exhale of breath a small _oh_ escaping until he was making a mix of a keen and a groan, and you felt it the instant he came. As his body stuttered beneath you, his fingertips gripping and digging into your hips as he groaned, pulling you tight down against him as those blue eyes locked onto you as he panted. You ran a hand through his hair, knowing his skin was extremely sensitive right after, and that even caressing his cheek could send goosebumps down his body and make him whine a little; his tight grip on you letting you know that his orgasm hadn't quite subsided yet. 

“Jesus… fucking… Christ…” he choked out after a few moments when his body had finally relaxed, arms limply falling to his side as he laid there and tried to force more air into his lungs. You laid down, chest pressed to his as his arms circled around you, thumb gently stroking your sweat-dampened skin. 

“Was that good baby? Did you like that?” you asked, fingers still intertwined in his hair and Sebastian nodded weakly, looking as exhausted as if Don had just kicked his ass in the gym, but a million times more satisfied. 

“Oh my god yes, there’s nothing on earth I like more than that,” he softly rambled, letting his head flop to the side to press sweet little kisses along your arm. Although you hated it, you lifted yourself off of him, Sebastian’s member sliding free of your body before you snuggled in against his side, feeling one arm wrap around you as he kissed your temple. 

“Fuck this is the worst part,” he complained a minute later as he sat up and turned to plant his feet on the floor. You knew he was referring to interrupting the cuddling as opposed to dealing with the condom, and simply laid there, a yawn escaping before he threw away the used latex and soon was lying back down, wrapping his body around you. 

“I’m so ready for bed now,” you mumbled against his shoulder, and he nodded. 

“Me too. D’we wanna sleep here or in my bed?” he asked, and you simply snuggled in, nuzzling at his shoulder. 

“I’m not getting up and walking,” you informed him, and he chuckled before kissing the top of your head. He somehow managed to maneuver the covers out from underneath the two of you and soon had you both tucked in, happy to pull you in close so you were using his chest as a pillow. 

“Night babe,” 

“Night Baz,”


	20. Chapter 20

“You really have to go?” Sebastian’s soft voice reached your ears, tugging at your heartstrings in the absolute worst way. He’d already convinced you to spend another two weeks out in New York, and it had been a month since you’d been home. Cleaning out the fridge was going to be a disgusting job, because you’d only anticipated being gone for something like four days when you’d left for LA. While there was nothing you wanted to do more than go curl up beside him where he was sitting on the end of his bed while you packed your clothes up into your suitcase, you knew one of you had to be logical about this. You’d be back in three weeks anyway for two table reads for parts, it wasn’t going to be the worst stretch a couple had ever experienced, that was for sure. Even if his puppy dog pout was going to kill you in the meantime.

“Yes, Baz I do. I have to go take care of my place and wash clothes for the millionth time and let my parents know I haven’t died,” you teased, walking over and sitting on his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Almost instinctively his arms snaked around your waist, and he buried his face against your neck. 

“I just… Claire this has been so amazing having you here…” 

‘I know Baz. Trust me, I’d rather stay,” you mumbled, and felt him pull away a little before he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “But I’ll be back in three weeks; that’s not so bad, right?” 

“No, it’s not. I know Lizzie wants to go visit you so that’ll make the time go by faster,” he acknowledged with a heavy sigh before he flopped down onto his back, catching you off guard. With a shriek of surprise you fell on top of him, before both of you were giggling. 

“You’ll keep busy, right Baz?” 

“Yeah, yeah… Chace wants to have a guys’ night and I’ve got another audition and then Mama wants to have me out for the weekend next weekend to help her with some house stuff…” he began rattling off the laundry list of things that had been piling up and he’d been putting off since you’d spent a month in New York with him. You felt a little guilty, knowing these were things he normally jumped at doing. 

“Hey, hey, puiut, none of that. I wasn’t avoiding any of those things because you were here. I knew at some point you were going to want to go home and I just wasn’t going to miss out on any time with you,” he assured you, pushing some hair behind your ear as you grinned down at him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“You aren’t just saying that to make me feel better?”

“I’m not, I promise,” Sebastian insisted, before pecking your lips once again. “So, how about we go out for dinner tonight? Seeing as your flight leaves early and all tomorrow. I’ve only _really_ taken you out a couple of times.” 

You nodded, even though part of you worried a little. Not because you cared who saw you out and about with Sebastian; every magazine had splashed breakup stories of you and Chris across their front pages for the last couple weeks, even if there didn’t seem to be any more new pictures of him with that blonde, but it was more out of concern for Sebastian. He and Chris were friends – even though he was angry enough on your behalf to not really be talking to him right now. On a friend level, you were sure Chris kind of understood. You weren’t sure how he’d take you now being _with_ Sebastian. 

But he had tried to set the two of you up when he’d first introduced you, so maybe he wouldn’t care after all. That his ‘matchmaker moment’ had just taken some time to come to fruition and make something happen for the two of you. God only knew, but you were positive Chris seeing a picture of the two of you together on a magazine wasn’t the way for him to find out either way. Even though he’d been the one to go to other people first.

“I think that would be nice,” you agreed, but the look he gave you told you that Sebastian saw right through you. He quirked up an eyebrow before his hand softly cupped your cheek, thumb stroking your skin. 

“Hey, what’s going through your head? You don’t wanna go out?” he asked, and you shook your head. 

“Baz, it’s not that. You know I do, it just… worries me,” you admitted, and he looked confused at your statement. Instead he cupped your face with his hands, blue eyes moving over your features softly before he gave you a reassuring smile.

“Babe, what worries you? There’s not a lot of paps here, we don’t have to worry as much about photographers as we would out in LA or something. And nine times out of ten people just leave you be rather than freaking out or causing a scene,” 

“I know, I know, I just… I don’t know how to say this the right way,” you admitted, and confusion turned to concern, and immediately you knew Sebastian had probably already inferred the wrong thing. You groaned, knowing you were so awful with this feelings stuff. At least with being open about the feelings stuff… and you did not want to hurt Sebastian over your lack of ability to convey what was going through your head once your heart got involved.

“Claire…” 

“I want to go out with you,” you assured him, cupping his face in your hands and kissing the end of his nose for good measure. “I just… what if Chris or Mackie or whoever finds out seeing a picture of us on one of those stupid magazines? I don’t care about them knowing, I want them to know when we want them to; what I care about is Chris not losing his shit on you again and fucking _punching_ you if for some reason he loses it… again.”

“Oh Jesus Claire, you scared me for a second,” Sebastian let out a long breath before chuckling. With a quick push up onto his elbows he kissed you, until you relaxed enough to really properly kiss him back. 

“Babe, it’ll be fine, they’ll understand. And if for some reason they aren’t happy for us that’s their problem, not ours. Fuck Chris, to be honest. He doesn’t get a say in what you do or who you go out with or how he finds out, because he’s not in this relationship. I know… I know that’s still going to be kind of hard for you, I do draga, but we can’t try and decide our own lives based on him, all right? And I’ll make sure to be on guard next time I see him, just in case,” he gave you a smart-assed wink before his grin was wide and bright again. You couldn’t find any words, and instead buried your face against his chest, breathing in the comforting, almost woodsy smell that was Sebastian as he held you tight; understanding you just needed him in that moment. He kissed the top of your head, rubbed your back, until you could lift your chin up and face him properly. 

“You’re amazing, has anyone ever told you that?” you whispered, and Sebastian’s expression softened.

“Not really… but I think you’re the only person who I’d believe,” he replied, and you felt your heart miss a few beats as you kissed him again. 

“As much as I want to let this keep going where I know it’s going… if we’re gonna go for dinner we better get ready,” Sebastian groaned some ten minutes later, lifting himself up on an elbow to only slightly untangle himself from you. You playfully huffed out your cheeks and let out a groan, making him laugh as he rolled onto his back. 

“My sentiments exactly Claire, but my stomach’s growling too. Come on, it’ll be fun. I’ll show you off real good,” he joked, and you laughed, getting up and fishing your curling iron out of your bag before sauntering to Sebastian’s en suite bathroom and plugging it in. 

“I don’t have to dress up too fancy, do I? I really didn’t bring clothes for that,” you worried, and after a moment Sebastian appeared behind you, your makeup bag in one hand and the flowing, almost gauzy dress you’d worn your first day out in LA in the other. 

“This’ll be perfect. You look amazing in it,” he whispered, kissing your neck before walking back into his room to change. As quickly as you could you tried to tame your hair, putting on just a bit of mascara and lip color before slipping into the dress. With a fairly high slit that came up to mid thigh, the base layer of the dress fell a few inches above your knees, the lacy, gauzy over-layer going down to your ankles. With a halter-style top it was summery and cool while still looking a little bit glammed up or sophisticated, and thankfully you’d brought your wedges with you to pair with it. 

“How do I look?” you asked, and Sebastian’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he paused in buttoning up his shirt as his eyes positively raked over you. In an instant, and three long strides he closed the distance between the two of you, large hands resting at the small of your back as he placed a butterfly soft kiss to your forehead. 

“Like a goddess,” he mumbled, making you blush as he pulled away. He grabbed your shoes for you, letting you lean on him as you put them on, and after grabbing your phone and clutch, and Sebastian his wallet, he called for an Uber and the two of you locked up his place and went downstairs to the lobby. 

The car pulled up just moments after you’d stepped out of the elevators, and Sebastian helped you into the backseat before getting in on the other side. His arm slid around your shoulders as he rattled off the address of the restaurant he wanted to go to and soon the two of you were in the middle of Manhattan traffic, visiting a little over the radio show that the driver had playing. You were a little nervous, Sebastian obviously reflecting that energy as he kept fiddling with his hair. Finally with a giggle you grabbed his free hand and held it in your own, making him laugh as he laced his fingers in between yours. With a steady glance, his eyes locked on yours, he brought your hand up to his lips and kissed your knuckles, full velvet lips just ghosting over your skin, making your cheeks blush even harder. 

“Ah, Mr. Stan, lovely to see you,” the host at the restaurant immediately ushered the two of you in, and while you fought the blush on your cheeks Sebastian had noticed it, smiling secretively at you as he linked your fingers and walked with you to the table the host was heading toward. After pulling out your chair and everything Sebastian sat across from you, and ordered a bottle of your favourite wine for the two of you to share. 

“Wow, _Mr. Stan_ , swanky place,” you teased, making him chuckle as he shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Needs to be a swanky place to take out an amazing woman,” he answered, shell shocking you a little bit as your cheeks undoubtedly turned fire engine red. You mumbled something about him being a smart ass before he’d reached across the table and took your hands in his, smiling at you as his thumbs caressed your skin. There was nothing you could do but grin back at him, even as the waiter came over with the wine, pouring two glasses and setting the bottle on ice to chill. 

“So, three weeks, huh?” Sebastian asked after your food had arrived. He wasn’t tearing into it with the gusto you’d expected after hearing this was one of his favourite ‘splurge’ places to eat, but you realized why when you saw where his mind was. Sebastian’s mood had been a little all over the place in the two days since you’d broken the news about having to go back home after he’d started making plans to see if you’d go to one of Chace’s parties with him two weeks from tomorrow. That was when you realized Sebastian really had no inclination for you to leave, and while you adored that and didn’t want to go, you couldn’t let yourself jump in headfirst the way you and Chris ‘had’, you had to be responsible about it. And responsible meant not basically living with him for the first four months or whatever of the relationship until Sebastian was ready to let you go back home for any real length of time. 

“Yeah, I know Baz, three weeks is a long time, but we’ll be okay. I’ll Facetime you every night if you want,” you grinned, and he laughed before reaching across the table and sliding his hand over yours for the third or fourth time already that evening. 

“I might have to take you up on that,” he replied, and smiled when you turned your hand palm up to hold his hand properly. “I just… god you’re going to think I’m so clingy. I just… hate the thought of having to be apart so soon, you know?” 

“You’re not clingy, Baz, you know that. I know exactly what you mean. To have to change everything and be long distance when we’re just figuring it all out,” you agreed with him, and he let out a bit of a sigh before the smile was back on his face. 

“Exactly. But I get it; you need to be home too. Maybe… if three weeks starts feeling stretched out… maybe I can come see you for a couple days? I mean, the flight’s only like an hour, right?”

“Ooh careful Baz; if my parents catch wind that there’s a boy in my life willing to fly out to see me because three weeks is too long they’re going to be all over you,” with that he laughed, his nose crinkling up a little and you knew that had eased him out of the funk he’d kind of settled into. 

“You’ll find I’m great with parents,” he winked, making you giggle. 

“Ever met Ohio parents?” 

“They can’t be different from New York parents, can they?” he played along, and you shook your head, _tsking_ him as you did so. 

“Oh honey, so sweet, so naïve,” you cooed patting his cheek playfully as you did so, making him giggle a little. “New York parents probably expect their children to have a more… adventurous, lifestyle, per say. I wasn’t allowed to go on a date until I was sixteen, and then my dad _chaperoned_ it. When both my date and I were old enough to drive. I couldn’t go to parties where alcohol might be… my parent’s were farm kids who moved to the city for work, and still had very… small town ideas about city life, we’ll say. You prepared for those kinds of parents?” 

“Claire, baby I got this. “Hello, sir, so great to finally meet you, Claire has told me so much about you. New York? Yeah, yeah it’s great, but it’s just so busy, sometimes it’s a little much. The flight? Better than I expected, and even better because Claire was lovely enough to pick me up from the airport, she’s really something isn’t she? Must be the small-town Ohio values I’ve heard so much about. So, she told me you grew up on a farm, what was that like? I’ve only ever lived in big cities, I’ve always been so curious about what it’s like growing up with space like that,” he monologue-d, making you laugh as he did so. 

“Not bad, not bad,” you allowed, making him chuckle as he sipped at the Pinot Grigio in his glass. “But here’s the real kicker… my parents… ugh, they like to think that bringing someone home is pretty much like… a sealed deal. It’s brutal, like even I know how ridiculous they are about it… They tend to scare people off being too intense, and while that may ring wedding bells and all kinds of scary shit in their heads, even the _idea_ that I may have an adult relationship with somebody…” 

“But Claire, draga, I respect you as a woman and I know that a girl like you is somebody you treasure and cherish. And that’s why I offered you the spare room at my apartment, because I know we have something special and I want to make sure we do this right. Of course I want to settle down, but with my career picking up that’s a few years away, and, I mean, with your career taking off we would want to wait and make sure you take advantage of every opportunity you want to as well. You know, before we move out to something more suburban to settle down and raise a family,” he grinned, sitting back in his chair looking like a seasoned pro who’d just won himself a big shiny trophy. “I can be smooth babe.” 

“Damn, well then Baz, if you meet them don’t be surprised when my mom is needling you about a ring, just saying. I don’t think I’ve ever heard somebody handle it that smoothly,” you teased, and he laughed before the two of you started to eat, visiting away about crazy stories about your parents. For once, somebody understood the level of marriage-crazy your parents were about their only child.

“You think your parents are bad? My god, I’m pretty sure my mom thought I was going to _marry_ my first ever girlfriend. I was like, fifteen and we dated for like eight months,” he laughed, shaking his head at just the thought. “My god, the things she would say… “Seba, honey wouldn’t it be nice if your kids had that dark hair and your eyes?” “Seba, dear would her parents want you to live closer to them? I mean, worrying about the acting thing and all,” it was the absolute worst. I think she dumped me more because of my mom than anything about me.” 

“You poor thing, your mom’s been lovely the couple times I talked to her back when we were filming,” you pointed out, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Oh God Claire, that’s because she was talking _to_ you… you should’ve…” he trailed off, paling a little before blushing like a schoolboy. There was a story there and damnit you needed to know what it was now, especially if it had Sebastian this embarrassed over it. 

“I should’ve what, Baz?” 

“Nope. No…” 

“Baz, come on,” 

“I just… god it took like a week after that day you hauled me out of my apartment to go for burgers before she was pestering at me that I should ask you out. That you were such a lovely girl and that I needed someone like you, even though I told her _every single time_ that you were dating Chris. She seemed to think it would be nothing for you to dump Chris on the spot to go on a date with me because she thinks – and I’m apologizing in advance – she thinks that we would have really adorable kids. Amongst everything else, that’s a hard argument she likes to make whenever you come up… and she’s been doing that for like a year already, she doesn’t even _know_ we’re together yet,” 

Sebastian’s face was burning red, and while you were a little shocked, after listening to stories of Sebastian’ loving, doting – if a little over enthusiastic – mother, you couldn’t help but be a little touched. You’d never met her, and had only talked to her maybe two or three times, but to somehow have had such a positive impression with her was great. Even if it left you reeling a tiny bit to realize his mother had somehow been rooting for the two of you to have a chance together for that long. It was sweet, even if she was hell bent and determined about it. But you knew from what Sebastian told you as well as speaking to her that she always meant the best and had a huge heart, even if she sometimes went a little far. Like picturing you and Sebastian having children when you were just friends and had been dating someone else. 

“Well, you do have gorgeous eyes and an amazing chin,” you allowed, and he gaped a little bit at you before realizing you were teasing him again and he shook his head before chuckling. 

“Oh my God, after the last time I talked to her? I swear to God she doesn’t even _care_ if they look like me, she just wants them,” he explained, and you laughed. 

“Baz of course she wants her grandbabies to look like you; you’re drop-dead,” 

“I was not as a kid. Puberty took a long time to be kind to me,” he grimaced, and you shook your head. 

“Oh god, me too. Maybe we shouldn’t ever _think_ of having kids,” you groaned, and he leaned back hard in his chair. You’d seen a couple of pictures of Sebastian in his middle-school years, and while you thought he was cute he had admitted to struggling a lot with his self-image. Something you understood all too well, because you’d had the same issues.

“If they don’t stand _any_ chance of a good high school experience it would just be cruel, wouldn’t it?” he joked along, and both of you were laughing before it settled out into companionable silence. Both of you undoubtedly measuring what had been said, trying to take it all in.

Was it weird, the two of you talking about children as casually as this? Obviously there was no pressure or implications from it, but you had never before been in a relationship where talking – or _joking_ – about the parental pressure and the whole kids thing had come up before dating for five or six months. And never as easy and playfully as it did with Sebastian. Any other relationship you’d been in, this kind of serious talk would’ve sent them running for the hills. Even Kyle hadn’t wanted to talk about that sort of thing until you’d been dating longer than six months, and he had pushed so _goddamn_ hard to try and move things along once he’d realized that acting actually had a chance of going somewhere for you. But this felt nothing like that, and you couldn’t help the few little butterflies that fluttered around in your stomach at the fact you and Sebastian were having this conversation and _enjoying_ it.

“But we have to admit, by like twenty two, twenty three? We would have some damn good looking kids together,” Sebastian whispered a few moments later, making you giggle as you took a sip of your wine, and smile to yourself when he took your hand again. 

“I think I can admit that,” you softly told him, and he smiled before leaning over the table to kiss you sweetly. 

“Anyhow, enough of that talk. How did we get so off topic from me wanting to go visit you in Lancaster?” he asked, and the two of you began to bust a gut, even attracting attention from a couple of other patrons in the restaurant as the absolute absurdity of the conversation came full circle. It wasn’t enough to dampen your moods, and you were still giggling as you lifted your glass to take another sip of your wine, Sebastian in the same state.

“I have no idea,” you allowed, and he shrugged, his thumb stroking your hand again. 

“Well, either way I’m glad we can talk about it,” he whispered, and you nodded. 

“Me too, Baz,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's some more cuteness... because I feel like we can all use some cute and fluffy in our lives :) I hope you all are enjoying the story!
> 
> And I promise I haven't forgotten about Chris and solving their drama... I just like the happy stuff too and want some of that in here :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter gets graphic again... just a heads up. Claire and Baz obviously needed some private time, so if you aren't okay with reading this kind of material, the first few paragraphs until they get back to the apartment are all safe, and then you really aren't missing anything plot-contributing after that... (so sorry but kind of not sorry?) And we will resume our regular programming in the next chapter.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

“Hey babe, fuck I’m sorry, I just—” you cut Sebastian’s explanations off with a kiss as you flung your arms around those strong shoulders. The two of you were probably garnering a lot of stares, kissing in the middle of the airport, but three weeks would have turned into six, with the table reads for the new project you wanted to be a part of being delayed due to some schedule conflicts for the director and producers, and Sebastian had been devastated at the news. It had been written all over his face, his features falling when you broke it to him over Facetime, chewing on your own lip as you immediately offered to find some other way to see him before then. He’d shut down the idea of you flying out again when you’d already flown out to see him once, and the next morning he’d announced he was going to come to Ohio and spend four or five days with you to help break up the time before you were back in New York. And that when you were back Chace was throwing another house party and he damn well expected you to be his date to it, which had made you giggle and blush as you agreed. 

The instant he’d walked out of the arrivals gate and toward you, your heart had done a little summersault in your chest. Looking devilishly casual in a pair of skinny jeans and a V-neck T-shirt, sunglasses on, leather jacket thrown over his shoulder, Sebastian was the picture of casual celebrity. Nobody looked that good getting off a plane, no matter how short the flight was. And yet there he was, looking amazing and as he had perched his sunglasses on top of his head to scan the waiting area for you, you stood up. In an instant those intense blue-grey eyes were on you, and you could’ve sworn they sparkled as his face lit up when he saw you. That was enough to put some more butterflies in your stomach.

“I know, I missed you too,” you mumbled against his lips before he wrapped you up in his arms, burying his face against your hair for a moment and just breathing deeply. Two movies he’d been tentatively signed on to be a part of had fallen through; one due to budgeting issues and the other arguments between writers that had ended up with the script being tossed. Knowing he was sitting in that apartment by himself, probably having an anxious meltdown had killed you, and so you’d also jumped at the opportunity for him to come to Lancaster, so at least you could be supportive and keep an eye on him if he wasn’t doing okay. 

“I didn’t think three weeks would be that bad; I’m thirty-three for god’s sake,” he chuckled, before letting out a long breath. “But it’s been killing me. Worse than waiting for anything.” 

“I know Baz, I’ve hated it too,” you agreed, and kissed him deeply once more before snatching his duffel bag off the floor and slinging it over your shoulder, to his loud protests. You adjusted the strap so it was comfortable, and pushed yourself up on tiptoes again to kiss Sebastian’s cheek even as he was trying to grab his bag back from you, and loudly arguing about you carrying it. Apparently causing a small scene in the airport was not above him to get his way, which made you chuckle to yourself.

“I can carry my bag, Jesus puiut,” he said, grabbing at it again as you danced just out of his reach, a shit-eating grin on your face that you knew was just going to rile him up and make him laugh all at once. 

“You’re the company; I carry the bags. And it’s not like it’s heavy; did you even pack enough underwear?” you teased, and he groaned, his head tipping back as he followed along behind you through the airport. Much like an exasperated parent would, Sebastian trudged along behind you, and that made you snicker to yourself as you kept your eyes on him and unable to keep the grin off of your face.

“You’re insufferable. Absolutely insufferable. Do you know my mama will have my hide for letting my girlfriend carry my bag?” he whined, but you held fast, keeping a grip on it even as you let him sling his arm over your shoulder and kiss the top of your head. 

“I’ll handle your mama,” you told him, pecking his cheek as you fished for your car keys in your pocket. Pulling them out you unlocked the car, seeing the lights flash as the two of you walked the few parking space-distance to it and got in, Sebastian’s bag deposited on the backseat. 

You turned back to face the front and do up your seatbelt but instead were held fast in a hug, Sebastian holding onto you for dear life. With a kiss to his temple you squeezed back, content to sit there as long as he needed. The past week had been hell for him, and to make it worse his stepfather had had another incident and his Mama had called him upset and needing to talk to someone. Like the sweetheart he was he sat and listened and consoled her, and after he’d hung up the phone with her he’d called you, nearly breaking down as he finally unloaded everything that had been building up and weighing him down, the tears streaking down his cheeks even as he vehemently denied they were there. He needed this even worse than you did. 

“Let’s get you home Baz, and we can curl up with blankets and watch movies and drink wine and not leave the apartment until tomorrow,” you softly told him, and he nodded, pulling away and sitting up properly in his seat, quickly fastening his seatbelt so he could lace his fingers between those of your free hand. 

The drive was somewhere around forty-five minutes, and you could see Sebastian was a little enraptured by what he saw. While there wasn’t any ‘real’ farm area between Columbus and Lancaster, the houses got pretty spread out between the edges of the two cities, and the amount of green space captivated him as his eyes stayed glued out the window. For a boy who’d grown up in apartment buildings, that had to be something special. 

“Here we go,” you pulled into your parking space, and this time let Sebastian grab his bag, before taking the hand he offered as the two of you walked up to the lobby from the parkade and took the elevator to your floor. Blue eyes wandered over the space for a few moments while Sebastian toed off his shoes, before he slumped down, letting his duffel bag slide off of his shoulder and then he was lifting you up and carrying you to your bedroom. 

Once you were deposited – gently – on the bed, he pulled his t-shirt over his head and was soon emptying his pockets and working on the button and fly of his jeans. You hadn’t expected _this_ , and realized you were sitting there blinking at him when he paused and realized you weren’t on the same page. 

“I just need to curl up with you, Claire; I’m leaving my boxers on. You know I hate sleeping in my clothes. And I really want the contact,” he blushed a little as he explained, and instead you stood and kissed him, gently pushing his hands away and undoing his jeans yourself, pushing them down over his lean, narrow hips and far enough down his muscular thighs until they dropped to the floor of their own accord. 

“Crawl in babe, I’m just going to grab my laptop in case we do want to watch a movie,” you told him, and he nodded, doing as you asked. You grabbed both his duffel bag and your laptop, double-checking that your door was locked before walking back into your room. Duffel bag on the floor at the end of the bed, Sebastian’s eyes were hungrily on you as he watched you strip off your tank top and shimmy out of your shorts to crawl in beside him. Immediately his arms were pulling you flush against his body; you could feel his pecs against your shoulder blades, the hard lines of his stomach and hips against your back and your ass, and the warmth his skin gave off was comforting and familiar in the air-conditioned temperature of your apartment. With his face buried against your neck you could feel his breath whispering along your skin, leaving goose bumps as you simply placed your hands over his and let him hold you. You’d missed this.

“God Claire, this whole being apart thing is going to be the death of me,” he whined a few hours later, face nuzzled against the curve of your shoulder, muscular arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You could feel his half-aroused member against the small of your back, knowing it was due to the close proximity and lack of clothes as opposed to Sebastian’s conscious thought process at the moment. His mind had only slightly been on the movie, as he was more concerned with cuddling, kissing, and touching you as if to reinforce the fact that you were really there with him.

“It’s been worse than I thought,” you allowed, pressing butterfly soft kisses along his knuckles and wrists. An affirmative grunt from Sebastian was all the answer you needed as he pressed himself in closer, crowding your body as much as possible without him literally lying on top of you. 

“Same here. And I knew it was going to suck,” he sighed, making you grin at the slightly petulant tone in his voice, before he shifted and accidentally ground his hips against you. A small gasp escaped your throat before you could even think to check it, and you felt your cheeks heating up even though Sebastian probably couldn’t see it. Almost three weeks was a long time for other things when you’d had a month of having full access to Sebastian whenever you wanted him, whether it was for kisses, cuddles, or the more physical stuff. 

“Draguta I know,” he purred against your throat, brushing his Calvin Klein clothed hips against you, having realized you’d _missed him_ missed him too, and soon his teeth were lightly nibbling along your skin, driving your core temperature up and through the roof. Every nerve in your body was singing, crying out for his touch as Sebastian’s hands slowly moved over your stomach, stopping to rest right underneath your breasts. Which was just short of where you wanted them at the moment. 

“Baz _please_ ,” you didn’t bother with formalities, the pleading obvious in your voice as Sebastian moaned and obliged, large hands cupping your breasts over your bra and fingers gently kneading and massaging the skin. With a sigh you let one hand slide down to grab a handful of Sebastian’s ass, making him bite a little into your neck as he pushed himself firmly against you. 

“Have you been good, draguta? Want me to take care of you?” he crooned, and you nodded avidly, needing his warm fingers on your body anywhere you could have him. 

“So beautiful, my girl,” he mumbled against your skin, fingers making quick work of your bra and you moaned again when his hands were on the bare flesh of your chest, working you over until you were grinding your ass back against him, needing him as riled up as you were so that he would do something about it. Your hand on the swell of his ass holding him in place as you ground backward, making sure that the friction was there and enough to make Sebastian pant against your ear. 

“Goddamn, my dirty girl…” he gasped, and before you could even process it Sebastian had flipped you onto your back and was pushing his knee between your thighs, parting them so he could lay down and settle his hips against you. Gladly you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him in against your warm skin, and when Sebastian began kissing down your neck and over your breasts your breath hitched. There was no helping it, realizing what he was planning on doing. 

“Baz, it’s okay, you don’t have to,” 

“Baby I want to, so badly you have no idea,” he groaned against your navel, tongue flicking out of his mouth as those blue eyes stared up at you, a dirty smile on his face as he tugged your underwear down to your knees, pushing them off of your legs before he was kissing up the inside of your thigh. Arms under your legs, palms tenderly holding your thighs apart so they were resting over his shoulders, his lips and warm breath were soon so, so close to your throbbing center you couldn’t even think straight. 

“Want me baby?” he asked, eyes locked onto yours, knowing exactly what he was doing. 

“Yes Baz,” you whimpered, and felt him blow a tiny stream of cold air over the sensitive skin between your legs. 

“Say it for me baby, tell me what you want me to do,” he asked again, and you wet your lips, flushing hard as you wound your fingers into his hair and gave a little tug, making Sebastian keen and rut his hips lightly against the mattress. 

“Take me Baz,” 

“Now now, draguta, let’s not rush,” he teased, dragging his tongue along the innermost part of your thigh, making you tremble with how close he was to where you needed to be touched. “I think we both know what you want from me first.” 

“Baz please fuck me,” you begged, and Sebastian’s head shot up, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. That wasn’t what either of you had expected; it was obvious he’d planned on exploring some foreplay, but you couldn’t take it anymore. His skin was electricity, pulsing over every part of your body and you were aching for him. With the way Sebastian’s hips were gently rubbing against the mattress to keep some friction on his cock it was obvious he was feeling it as badly as you were. 

“Goddamn,” he breathed, before he was over you again, kissing you hard and grinding his body down against yours, making you whimper into his mouth. 

“So sexy, babe, hearing you beg for me like that,” he was mumbling and rambling against your cheek and the corner of your jaw as his hand reached and scrambled for the nightstand. Thank God he’d blushed and asked if you’d pick up some condoms yesterday when you’d talked, knowing neither of you would want to leave the apartment to go to a grocery store or pharmacy the day he arrived. And he hadn’t wanted to take any chances, knowing that you didn’t like the thought of leaving this up to birth control pills. 

“You like that Baz?” you asked, sounding lost already as he slid a hand between the two of you to experimentally slip his finger between your folds. Finding you absolutely wet for him he groaned, sitting back on his haunches, cock bobbing slightly with the movement as he opened the foil. 

“So much baby, so much,” he told you, sliding the latex on as your hands pulled at his hips, thumbs stroking little circles where his hipbones protruded ever so slightly. “Want to tell me again?”

“Fuck Baz I need you in me, I need you to fuck me, please,” you begged, all insecurity gone with the intense desire so obvious in Sebastian’s eyes as he stared at you like he was about to ravish you; his bottom lip caught between his teeth, chest heaving slightly for air, and heavy, condom-wrapped length in his hand as he gave himself a couple of strokes, unknowingly making some more heat pool between your legs. Seeing his hands on himself was so unbelievably sexy. 

“You don’t just _want_ me to fuck you, draguta, you _need_ me to?” he asked, drawing this out as you squirmed beneath him, nodding. 

“I fucking _need_ your cock in me Baz, please,” you pleaded and with a rather feral grunt he did as you asked, sliding home in one swift motion and burying himself in you. The resulting groans filled your bedroom as Sebastian began to roughly thrust, sliding out nearly all the way and filling you up again. 

“This what you need baby? This what you wanted?” he asked, voice growly against your ear. 

“Yes Baz, so good,” you whimpered, nails dragging along his back looking for purchase as he took you, the pace unrelenting and you could feel the heat coiling up inside of you already. 

“Baz, I’m gonna,” you couldn’t say it, gasping for air as he ducked his head to suck on your neck. 

“Come for me baby, I’ve got a couple planned for you before we’re done. Gotta take care of my puiut who needed me so bad while we were apart,” his voice raspy and hoarse, saying things the likes of which you’d never heard come from between those plump lips. You came for him, making him groan out a yes as he watched his length disappear into you again and again, making you ride out the orgasm. The dirtiest thing Sebastian had ever really come out with during sex was when he’d asked you to spank him, and even then nothing had truly come out of it. Maybe he was hiding a little bit of a kinkier side and was just starting to let it show. It was obvious that hearing the words slip from your mouth had turned some kind of switch on inside of him. 

“C’mere,” he whispered, pulling back, and you whimpered when he slid from your body, until you did as he said. A deep, open-mouthed kiss turned you to jelly as Sebastian tugged your hips toward him, knee pushing yours apart on the bed as he lined himself up behind you. “This okay, draga?” 

“Yes,” you breathed, letting your chest drop to the bed so your ass was in the air in front of him. The broken groan that came from him sent a tingle through your system as two fingers were soon stroking you, making you tremble in anticipation. It felt _good_ , but Sebastian’s cock felt _better_. 

“Gonna beg for me again baby? So pretty like this,” he praised you, one hand smoothing over the swell of your ass as the other teased you. With your fingers biting into the mattress and bunching up the sheets he finally gave you what you wanted, and with his chest pressing over your back he brought you to the edge and over a few more times before finally letting go himself. You could feel him stuttering, hips bumping against you a couple times as the force of his own finish hit him, and saw his powerful arms shake slightly as he held himself up, not wanting to leave all of his weight on you. 

“Holy fuck Claire,” he mumbled, kissing the nape of your neck before slowly pulling out. You let yourself flop down onto the mattress, still breathing too hard and feeling too much like jell-o to do anything else. 

“Uh huh,” you agreed, and once he’d taken care of the condom Sebastian was wrapping himself around you, thighs and arms still trembling slightly from exertion as you held him tight. 

“That was fucking hot,” he sighed, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you lifted your head to lightly nip his chin, getting him to drop his head so you could kiss.

“It really was. You kiss your mother with that mouth?” you asked, and he groaned. 

“You can’t talk. Jesus Christ I’ve never got so hard so fast hearing you tell me to fuck you baby, I never knew you had a dirty mouth on you,” he retorted, before stretching slightly and then settling back down. 

“I didn’t know either, to be honest,” you admitted, and he stared at you before letting out a laugh. He nuzzled your cheek then, before reaching over you for the laptop and bringing the screen back to life. The two of you had been going through a space documentary series before getting… distracted. 

“Well, I’m honoured to bring that out in you,” his smile was soft and sly all at once as he pecked your lips and started the show up again, pulling you as close as you physically could be before bringing the sheet up to your waists. With a happy sigh you snuggled into him, knowing you wouldn’t see any of the show and would instead be dozing, just glad to have Sebastian back around.


	22. Chapter 22

“Hey babe, what do you want for dinner?” you asked, bending to peer into the fridge. You were chewing on your lip again, knowing that since the two of you hadn’t left the apartment yesterday or so far yet today that the grocery situation would be less than optimal. The fact you were still wearing Sebastian’s tee shirt and a pair of boy shorts instead of real clothes attested to the fact the two of you had done nothing but laze around since he’d arrived. 

“Can it be you?” he teased, catching you by surprise when his hands were on your hips and pulled your ass back against him. You let out a tiny yelp before shooting him a slightly scathing glance, as you’d nearly nailed your head on the fridge. 

“Babe, I don’t think I can to be honest… five times is a lot in two days,” you playfully whined, even if it was a little true. You’d hardly been able to walk this morning, much to Sebastian’s delight. He wasn’t pleased that walking seemed out of the question for your Jell-O legs, but pleased he’d managed to ‘take care’ of you that well that you were still feeling it this morning. And that hadn’t stopped him from gently taking you again after the fact. 

“I know baby, I just can’t help myself when you look like this,” he winked, before wrapping his arms around your waist as you stood up. “My clothes have never looked better.” 

“They look pretty damn good on you,” you shot back, turning in his arms to lean your head against his bare chest. He’d decided on lounging around in nothing more than a pair of gym shorts. You were pretty sure he wasn’t even wearing underwear. Not that you were complaining. 

“Not this good. So, you were saying something about dinner?” he asked, leaning his chin on top of your head and reaching an arm out to re-open the refrigerator door. You could tell his blue eyes were scanning the meagre contents as you sighed.

“I think we’re going to have to go grocery shopping,” you allowed, and with a heavy, dramatic sigh, he nodded. 

“I concur. I just don’t want to put clothes on,” he grouched, making you laugh. 

“Well I’m not taking you out like that. God I’ll have to fight off every girl in the city,” you joked, making him blush as you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes for a peck of a kiss before you were wandering toward your bedroom. “Come on, you can wear shorts and a tank top or something light, we’ll run to the store quick and then we can put comfy clothes back on when we’re back.” 

“Deal,” he agreed, following behind you, and soon had dressed as you’d said while you threw on some shorts and a bra, leaving Sebastian’s t-shirt on. With a small knot tied at your hip the V-neck actually had a nice shape, and Sebastian’s wicked smile when he realized you were wearing his clothes out in public was enough to make you grin. 

“At least when I’m fighting off every guy in the city they’ll know you’re actually there with me,” he teased back, laughing as the two of you grabbed your phones, and once the keys were in hand you were out the door. 

Wandering around the grocery store with Sebastian was entertaining. He seemed to have the attention span of a six year old when going up and down the aisles, even though he stayed walking beside you with an arm around your waist. However, the amount of sweet kisses he pressed to your temple as you talked or thought about things had your cheeks in a light but permanent blush. 

“Claire! Jesus girl I thought you died!” 

“Annie!” you felt Sebastian pulling the basket from your arm to let you turn and go hug your best friend. Admittedly, you’d been a pretty shit friend lately, kind of retreating into your own space since everything had gotten murky with Chris. You’d talked a bit, but not like what was usual. You knew she attributed it to the ‘break up’, but wondered how she’d react when she realized Sebastian was there with you. You’d mentioned that things had changed, that you’d stayed with him and that the two of you had kissed and all, but in a slightly selfish move you’d kept the new relationship mostly to yourself, wanting to just enjoy it with him for a bit. 

“God almighty! I was wondering if I was going to have to march myself to your place and drag you out. I was worried,” her last words were quieter, spoken against your ear so nobody else would hear them. You hugged her tightly, feeling her tall, model-esque frame lean slightly so you were closer to the same height. 

“I missed you too,” you mumbled, and when the two of you pulled away you saw her eyes flit to Sebastian, looking him over for just an instant before realizing he was awkwardly standing there not because you were in his way, but because he was there with you. Then her eyes widened and she gave you a knowing look before turning toward him.

“And who might this handsome fella be?” she asked, and you watched Sebastian turn fire truck red in two seconds before he floundered for something to say and then offered her his hand. 

“Uh, Sebastian, you can call me Seb, if you want,” 

“He’s my… boyfriend,” you had wanted to introduce him as such, but then realized neither of you had truly talked about that. If the whole ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ label thing was where you were at or not, and you blushed a little before realizing Sebastian was grinning brightly at you. Apparently boyfriend was a title he was more than happy with. “Baz, this is Annie, my best friend.” 

“Oh my god! When did this happen!” Annie gasped, ignoring Sebastian's outreached hand and instead pulling him in for a hug. His surprise was only there for a few moments before he was chuckling and hugged her back, putting an arm back around you afterward. 

“When she came out to New York. I uh, well I’d had a thing for her for a while,” he blushed a little more, making you chuckle and not be able to resist the urge to kiss his cheek. 

“Oh really?” 

“So he says,” you rolled your eyes and teased, making Annie’s eyebrows rise up while Sebastian gently knocked your shoulder laughing at you.

“Well it’s true, draguta. But when we met I was with someone, then you and… so yeah. There was no way I was saying shit about it, even after I was single, because you still weren’t,” he chuckled, having cut himself off from mentioning his friend. You nodded, before turning back to your redheaded best friend. 

“So when everything happened in LA, well Baz had already planned on coming and hanging out with me for the day while he was there. But then shit hit the fan and he offered for me to go back to New York with him, and it all just kind of… happened. I think we had kind of had that reaction to each other before we had even realized what it was,” you explained, and Annie positively gushed over how adorable the two of you were. After a few moments however, she turned toward Sebastian with an expression that made him swallow in almost fear for a moment.

“So you’re the one keeping my girl in New York city for months at a time,” she chided him, putting her hands on her hips as if she was a mother giving him shit, even though her green eyes were sparkling with laughter. 

“Guilty. So guilty, I didn’t want her to come back,” he admitted, and Annie nodded at him as he visibly relaxed, realizing she wasn’t truly giving him shit about anything. 

“Well I’d be a little worried if you had,” she told him, making him chuckle before she turned back to you. “So it’s been…?” 

“Almost two months, I guess,” you said, turning to Sebastian for confirmation. He nodded, and you felt his thumb slip beneath your shirt to gently stroke your skin from where his hand had been resting at your hip.

“Yeah, it’ll be two months this week,” he agreed, and saw Annie swoon once again. “Claire was supposed to come out to New York then, but some table reads got moved and delayed… I couldn’t wait another three weeks just to see her again.” 

“God, you’re so cute, Claire I’m so happy for you!” she squealed again, hugging you tight before giving Sebastian’s shoulder a playful little shove. 

“Better watch it bud; you’re fighting with me for Claire’s attention now. No more of this being in New York for months at a time,” 

“Oh we’ll see; I think you liked being in New York with me, didn’t you Draguta?” he playfully shot back, and you held your hands up and backed away. 

“I’m not choosing sides! Not choosing sides!” you laughed, making both of them crack up. “But Annie yes I missed you and Baz of course I liked being in New York with you.” 

“It’s a tie this round,” Annie finally said, and Sebastian cocked an eyebrow at her. 

“We’ll see how the next one goes,” he played along, making her laugh so hard she was nearly in tears. She even had to lean on Sebastian for a moment as she got a hold of herself before finally straightening up. 

“I like this one. Keep him around, unless he wants you to move to New York,” Annie finally said, making you grin as you wrapped your arms around her. 

“Thanks Annie; I’m planning on keeping him,” you giggled, and while Sebastian chuckled the way his smile had softened spoke louder than words. He was happy, here with you, seeing you with friends and hearing you talk about him like this. It was something you hadn’t had in a long time, and when you took a half step toward him he reached out and took your hand, lacing your fingers together while he listened to you and Annie visit a while longer. 

“So brunch on Saturday – I expect both of you to be there. I’ll try to get Jaime and Chloe to wrangle their boys to come with so you aren’t drowning in a sea of estrogen okay?” she said, and Sebastian chuckled and nodded, giving Annie a tiny wave as she made her way toward the produce section, saying goodbye. 

“Well, you just met the sister I never had,” you told him after the two of you began walking again, and Sebastian pulled you in tight to his side and kissed the top of your head. 

“That was fun, I can’t imagine what this brunch is going to be like,” he admitted, and you groaned. 

“Usually it’s a lot of the girls talking about their boyfriends or hook-ups or whatever, thrown in with a little gossip and bitching about work,” you told him, and he groaned. 

“What did I get myself into?” 

“Don’t worry, if Jake and Mike come it won’t be that bad. You guys can talk football or something,” you teased, and saw Sebastian still pouting at you as the two of you continued to fill the basket going through the store. 

“But babe I don’t really _watch_ football,” 

“It’ll be okay, unless you don’t want to go,” you said, realizing hat maybe there was a little more to it than Sebastian had let on. Annie could come on a little strong, you knew, and while he’d handled her extremely well and had appeared to have fun teasing back and forth with her, maybe you’d read it wrong. 

“Babe, I’m coming to brunch, even if I’m the only guy there,” he assured you, hands gently on your shoulders as those blue eyes grabbed yours and held them captive, unable to look away. “I’m just… nervous. This is meeting your friends, this is being part of your life here, I don’t wanna screw it up.” 

“Baz you won’t,” you reassured him, cupping his cheek and kissing him softly. “Because you’re part of my life too, and they’re probably just as nervous about you liking them as you are about the opposite.” 

“If you say so babe. How about we make chicken tacos for supper? I actually know a good recipe,” he suggested, steering the conversation away from his nerves and instead refocusing on why the two of you were even in the grocery store in the first place. It was because he was worried, and trying to hide it from you especially because you were out in public. Once back at your apartment, however, it would be safe to bring it back up.

“Whatever you want babe. Should we stock up on wine again?” 

“And probably… some other things,” he whispered, leaning in. You resisted the urge to giggle, wondering if he meant what you thought he did. The way he’d dropped his voice and looked around to see if anybody had heard him was too cliché not to.

“What other things? Do you need toothpaste? Deodorant?” you asked, acting oblivious, while he groaned and made a face. 

“No, I mean… condoms,” he whispered, and you laughed before cupping his cheek again. 

“Come on Baz, you’re a big boy; you can say it out loud,” you teased, making him pout again as he let out a huff. 

“I can say it, I just don’t _want_ to in a grocery store full of people. Or with those girls taking pictures or recording or whatever they’re doing,” he mumbled, and you felt like he’d dumped ice water down your back. You’d been so caught up in just being around Sebastian and seeing Annie you’d never even thought about people watching you. You’d never been ‘big enough’ to worry about it, but with the movie coming out in a few months you’d been in commercials and on TV, and well, Sebastian was _Sebastian Stan_ ; he garnered attention everywhere he went. But home had always just been home, where you were normal. It had never crossed your mind that things weren’t just the same anymore. 

“Oh god, I didn’t…” 

“Babe relax, I doubt they can hear us anyway,” as if sensing your mini impending freak-out, he wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. And for the record, I can say it; I just don’t like to out in public. _Regardless_ of who’s there.”

“Okay, okay Baz, if you say so. We can run down to CVS and get some; I think I need dish soap too so may as well grab a few things while we’re there,” you agreed, and soon the two of you had grabbed the rest of the groceries you could think of – at that point you didn’t care if you had to come back to the grocery store in two days or not – paid and left. 

“So, you gotta help orientate me here babe,” Sebastian called from the kitchen as you put the new bottles of hand soap in the bathroom and the box of condoms he’d picked up in your bedroom. After helping to put away groceries Sebastian had insisted he would make dinner for you, which was sweet even if it was a little concerning. You knew cooking wasn’t exactly at the top of his resume.

“With what?” 

“Where to find things,” he informed you, and when you looked over couldn’t see him in the kitchen. 

“Are you even in there?” you grinned, walking across the living room until you saw Sebastian was crouched down going through cupboards looking for something.

“Frying pan?” he asked, and you mussed up his hair as you walked past him to the other side of your kitchen, opening a bottom drawer and pulling out a frying pan. Sebastian let out a sigh and let his shoulders slump for a moment before getting up and taking it from you, pecking your cheek as he did so. 

“Okay, I promise I’m making you dinner, I’m just going to need your help with finding things,” he repeated, and you nodded as you wrapped your hands around his waist. 

“That’s okay. What else do we need?” you asked, and soon he was rummaging through your kitchen for other things until – most – of what he’d decided he needed was on the counter. 

“Okay, now you go have a glass of wine and relax. Go on Pinterest or Facebook or something,” he shooed you out of the space toward the living room, and once you’d sat down he brought you a glass of wine with a kiss, insisting it was his turn to pamper you, seeing as how you’d cooked and stuff while in New York with him.  
It was nice, to put your feet up, watch some cheesy reality TV show and visit with Sebastian during commercials as he half-watched while making dinner. You could even hear him humming and quietly singing to himself now and then as he went about cutting vegetables and doing whatever else it was he had going on in there. Once the aroma of his cooking hit your nose your stomach began to grumble; whatever he was cooking with that chicken smelled like heaven. 

“Baz when’s it going to be ready? I’m dying over here,” you teased, and he laughed at you before pointing at you with the flipper. 

“It’s done when it’s done, missy,” he informed you before winking at you and going back to whatever it was he was doing. 

“Anything I can help with?” 

“Well… maybe grate some cheese?” he asked, and before you could even get up to go to the kitchen and do so he was plopping a bowl with the grater and a block of cheese onto your lap. It surprised you enough that you sat there for a moment staring at it, before finally raising your eyes to those beautiful blue ones and seeing him smirk at you.

“I’m only letting you help because I don’t want anything to have to sit while I do that,” he said, and you nodded before turning your attention to your new task. Your phone buzzed on the coffee table in front of you, Annie letting you know that both Jake and Mike had agreed to go to brunch in order to meet your new ‘hottie’ as she called him, and you relayed the information to Sebastian who laughed before asking if Annie secretly needed glasses. While you made a face at him you responded, telling Annie that the two of you would be there, and that you were excited too. You hadn’t been to a brunch in a couple of months, and you’d missed it. It was routine, and normal and part of your everyday life and you wanted Sebastian to be part of it too.

“Okay, come dish up,” he announced a couple minutes later, and you walked to the kitchen with your bowl of grated cheese and felt your jaw drop a little. Not only did dinner smell amazing, Sebastian had basically plated up both of your meals, save for some of the extras because he wasn’t sure what all you wanted on them, and it looked wonderful. 

“Baz, wow,” was all you could say as he put a few dishes in the sink and wiped his hands on the towel. 

“Look okay?” he asked, having the audacity to sound worried about this near-gourmet meal he’d managed to put together for you. You nodded and pulled him in for a deep kiss, before going back for your phone and putting the two plates on the table as Sebastian got himself a glass of wine and topped up yours. 

“Happy two months babe,” he murmured as he kissed you sweetly, and you held him there for a second kiss that he gladly met, tongue warm and just tasting of the spices he’d used on the chicken, as Sebastian had obviously been taste testing as he went to make sure everything turned out the way he wanted it. 

“Just a second,” you said as he went to sit down and pull his plate toward him. With a confused face he watched you take a picture of it, before one eyebrow was up, trying to figure out what the hell you were doing. After getting a nice picture you’d pulled up Instagram and posted it, Sebastian’s words a few weeks ago about not living your lives or running your relationship because of anybody else at the forefront of your mind. Which was true; you’d known he was right the moment he’d said it, and you didn’t want him to feel like you were hiding him away or something stupid because of it. Sebastian deserved far better than that. You wanted to give him better than that. Anyway, odds were if those girls were taking pictures that in a day or two they’d be splashed everywhere and you wanted it to come from the two of you, rather than some tabloid story leaking out. Besides, it just kind of… felt right, considering he’d just met your best friend since childhood as well and had flown out to see you and now made a beautiful dinner to celebrate two months of being together (even if it was three days early).

“Claire…?” just then his phone dinged, and he slowly pulled it from his pocket and unlocked the screen. Opening up his own app he soon saw what you’d done, and pulled you in for another kiss once he realized what you’d posted, his name tagged in the picture of the beautiful meal he’d just made.

_2 whole months; I’m the luckiest girl in the world – he made a homemade celebration dinner and all <3 _


	23. Chapter 23

“Oh my God! No way!” Chloe burst as soon as the two of you walked into the back half of the restaurant where the group’s table was. You were in a sundress and a pair of wedges, a few beachy waves in your hair to compliment some light makeup. Sebastian looked sharp in dark grey slacks and a white, fitted v-neck tee, his wavy hair looking artfully dishevelled even though you knew damn well he’d woken up that way. With a quick understanding he’d realized that brunch wasn’t a ‘formal’ affair but it usually meant dressing up a bit, and so the one nice pair of pants he’d packed had come out of the suitcase. He looked incredibly good, and you’d actually considered skipping brunch to simply strip him _out_ of said clothes. You waved, keeping step with Sebastian so his arm didn’t have to fall from your waist as you saw everyone, and soon you were being bombarded by the petite brunette and the much taller brunette, Jaime. 

“I know, I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA,” you apologized, hugging both of them before letting Mike and Jake pull you in for half-assed ones, giving Jake a little punch to the shoulder for good measure. He’d been dating Jaime for something like four years, he was practically family at this point, and you were about to introduce Sebastian, seeing the eager looks on your friends’ faces, when Annie cut in. 

“Blame this stud muffin for that – he’s been keeping her all to himself in New York,” she announced, patting Sebastian’s shoulder and making him blush bright red as he ran a hand through his hair to fidget before she gave him a quick hug to make him laugh.

“I, uh,” 

“Thanks Annie, can you leave him alone now?” you teased, and leaned back into Sebastian’s side, his arm automatically wrapping around you once more.  
“Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Sebastian. Sebastian, everyone.” 

“What? When? I thought…” Chloe was visibly confused, making you chuckle. She could be a little ditzy on a good day, but she had a heart of gold. 

“Two months,” you told her, and couldn’t resist putting a hand on Sebastian’s chest. “He even made me dinner the other night to celebrate.” 

“Wow, looks and he can cook,” Jaime teased, and Sebastian laughed and shook his head. 

“I _try_ to cook, please don’t ask her about it because you’ll hear some of the horror stories,” he joked back, and soon had everybody laughing and relaxing as you introduced everybody to him individually before sitting down, knowing that Oksana and Stacey would likely be another ten or fifteen minutes as it was. They apparently didn’t own a clock between the two of them and it had been a running joke for as long as all of you had been hanging out. 

“Sounds like somebody I could mention,” Chloe elbowed Mike, making him squawk in indignation at her comment, even though there was no use in denying it. However, Mike was rather talented at grilling, which he was quick to point out as the waitress came and took drink orders for everyone. After that, the on set stories were being told, because the girls had been _dying_ to hear what it was like being on a Marvel movie, apparently.

“So after _that_ prank, we decided to get this jerk and Anthony back,” you said, taking a sip of your mimosa, trying not to laugh as Sebastian groaned, hand over his face in embarrassment. He’d told the story about him and Anthony _soaking_ you and Chris after filming one day, with him jumping out from between trailers and everything, and had everybody cracking up over it. Revenge was sweet. 

“It was so _bad_ ,” he complained, making Annie grin at you. No stranger to the odd prank war, this group knew you could hold your own if you had to. 

“We waited like, three weeks,” you started, and bumped Sebastian with your shoulder. “He relaxed after the first like three days, it was hilarious. But we wanted to make sure Anthony wasn’t going to be too suspicious, so it took a while. It was _perfect_ – we were the only two people not filming for like six whole hours, so we went to Wal-Mart, and Target and bought them all out of water balloons—”

“Oh _shit_ man,” Mike groaned, giving Sebastian an apologetic look. “You should’ve known better.” 

“I know that _now_ ,” he lamented, causing some more laughter. Even the two of you were having a hard time holding it in to get through the story. 

“So we spent like two hours filling up all these goddamn water balloons, and we knew that Anthony was going to be catching a ride back to his apartment with Seb, because we so nicely set it up that way,” you smirked, and saw Sebastian’s eyes widen. Maybe he hadn’t worked out every part of the prank. 

“That was you?”

“Well yeah, how else would we get both of you?” you asked, and he shook his head, getting a pat on the shoulder from Jake in solidarity. 

“And we filled the _entire_ car with water balloons. They were like three feet deep. We unplugged everything we could so that we wouldn’t cause like a short circuit or a spark or anything, and we put plastic over the seats, we weren’t stupid about it, but we were dumping them in the window so we wouldn’t have to open the doors!” you started to crack up yet again, taking a moment to get under control before continuing on. 

“So Anthony for whatever reason had taken a cab to set that morning, and we’d all been talking about heading out and doing something after wrap, and Baz offered to just drive him back and save him cab fare. So the two of them go back, completely unassuming as it’s getting dark out, while Chris and I were hiding behind Joe and one of the production assistant’s trucks with a bucket of our own water balloons. We were nice, we’d had Mark in on it so he had their phones, I don’t even know what reason he came up with, and Baz opened the door and the balloons just like, started rolling out toward them and quite a few of them exploding. They just started making a ruckus when we came out from behind the truck and started throwing the other balloons at them!” 

“My god, I was _soaked_ , and there was nowhere to run!” Sebastian continued, casually throwing his arm over your shoulders. “So I basically just stood there and took it until she and Chris ran out of balloons, and by then they were laughing so hard they were almost rolling on the ground. And Mark the bugger got all of it on video. On his phone _and_ mine.” 

“It was so good, the look on your face,” you sighed, nearly having to wipe at some tears coming from your eyes. It had been pretty funny, and damn good payback for getting a bucket of ice water dumped over your head. It had also been big enough to discourage any further pranks for the rest of filming. 

“I know, you made me watch it like, three times,” he reminded you, making everybody at the table laugh again. 

“God, I can’t believe it took you two so long to get together,” Jaime teased, even though you could feel Sebastian tense slightly beside you. She meant well, but it was still… kind of touchy territory. Especially when you knew it would bring questions from the friends less informed in the whole Chris-fiasco. 

“What do you mean why did it take so long? Guys?” Stacey asked, sipping on her drink as Sebastian chuckled and rubbed your shoulder. 

“Well, uh, when we met… I was in a shitty relationship. And, um, when it ended it took me a while to be okay enough to be with someone again. And, I mean, Claire had been seeing Chris, so it’s not like I could really do anything then either,” he mumbled, and soon you could tell that the awkwardness had reached everyone at the table. 

“You should’ve scooped her up day one, I like you,” Annie instead continued as she took a bite of her bagel. “And besides, I haven’t seen Claire smile the way she does with you in a long time.” 

Well if that wasn’t enough to make the both of you blush and stammer over your words nothing was, and soon everybody at the table was teasing about how ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ the two of you were. You were grateful, in a way, because Annie had known that was the reaction everybody would give, and it did guide things away from the whole Chris thing, so nobody felt the need to ask questions. You gave her a small smile that she returned with a wink as she joined in on the fun. 

“So, any big plans for the premiere?” Mike asked, and Sebastian shrugged before looking to you. 

“I don’t know… the only thing I know for sure is who my date’s gonna be,” he answered, getting a guffaw out of the other man. You raised an eyebrow, and saw Sebastian quirk his up in response. 

“Oh? Who’s that?” 

“Well see there’s this girl who co-starred? Just gorgeous, and I mean, I’m pretty sure she likes me, so I figured I’d go with her,” he played along, cracking Jaime up as she watched the two of you. You were doing your best not to smile, but it was hard watching how animated and happy and downright _comfortable_ Sebastian seemed with everybody even after a short period of time. 

“Oh you think so? Did you ask her yet?” 

“Well… no?” he offered sheepishly, to some more laughs before he pulled you in and kissed your temple. “But I’m also really betting on the fact you’ll say yes. Don’t make me go solo _Draguta_.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you responded, meeting his quick, chaste kiss as everybody was soon chattering away about other things, even though Chloe ‘awed’ at the two of you. 

“What does ‘Draguta’ mean?” Stacey asked about an hour later once everyone had finished their meals and were only there to visit. Sebastian blushed a little. You’d heard him use the name lots but had never actually bothered to find out it’s English counterpart. 

“Well, it’s uh, kind of interchangeable with a few things I guess. Kinda like calling someone baby or sweetheart would be the closest way to translate,” he explained, and you felt yourself swoon a little bit at him. It was sweet and adorable and the fact that he had that warm little smile on his lips for you was enough to kiss him sweetly. 

“That’s so sweet,” you mumbled, and he pressed his forehead to yours for a moment before kissing your temple again. 

“You have nicknames for me too,” he quietly argued, but the girls rolled their eyes. 

“But they aren’t in a foreign language,” Jaime pointed out, and Sebastian seemed a little lost. “You’ve got pet names in Romanian, that’s like, a whole other level of cute.” 

“Why’s it make a difference?” 

“If she knew French and started calling you something sweet in French wouldn’t you think it a little bit of a step above calling you ‘babe’ or whatever?” she countered, and after a moment Sebastian shrugged and nodded. 

“Yeah I guess it would be pretty cool,” 

“Damn it Jaim, now I have to learn French,” you complained obnoxiously, making everybody laugh yet again, Sebastian even joining in. 

“You don’t have to, I swear,” 

“But you’re just outdoing me on every level Baz,” you played along, and he squeezed your shoulders lightly.

“You can just call me puiut, then we’re even,” he decided, and after making him repeat it slowly a few times for you, you tried it out. You’d heard him call you that before on occasion too but not as often as the other pet names he used. The word felt a little thick on your tongue but it was nice, and you grinned before kissing his cheek. 

“So are you going to tell me what puiut means or do I have to google translate it when we get home?” you asked, and he shot you an award winning smile. 

“We’ll see if you can guess it before we get home and go from there,” he answered, and while everybody began talking and joking, all you could feel was the warmth inside of you at what had just accidentally taken place without anybody realizing it. 

You guys were referring to your apartment as ‘home’ together, he hadn’t called it ‘your place’, and the feeling was kind of nice. Sebastian realized you were lost in your own head and soon gave you a gentle but questioning look, to which you shook your head and kissed him. You could explain your little giddy moment later and not in front of everybody else. It was easy to explain though, you liked feeling like you belonged with Sebastian, and the fact he belonged so fully to the little world you had just helped to bring that point home.

Soon Jake and Mike had him enraptured in some kind of conversation, so you turned your attention to the girl’s talk, Sebastian’s arm still comfortably around your shoulders all the while. Stacey was still hitting the party scene pretty hard, not interested in settling down or even really dating yet, Oksana was going on a third date with some guy she’d met on Tinder, and you were pretty sure it was the first third date in something like two years – she didn’t tend to stick to one guy for very long. But catching up on the general every day stuff was wonderful, and you felt a little guilty for having been so removed from all of it for the past several months, caught up in your own drama and emotions. 

“So, I have to ask, how did the two of you happen? I mean, last we all knew you were dating Chris, and that was like, for a whole year,” Oksana finally asked, and you felt your chest seize up a little. Sebastian’s thumb gently rubbed your shoulder, having felt your reaction but not able to find a gap in the conversation with the boys to butt in and help you. Not that he should have felt responsible for needing to do so anyway, but you took a deep breath. 

“It got… messy. We had a bit of an argument, when he came out for my birthday, and there was a lot of misunderstandings and that meant really hurt feelings. He left, and we didn’t really talk for a couple of months. So when I went to LA I figured I’d go see him, we could sort it all out. I mean, I kind of had the feeling that things maybe weren’t going to be salvageable, just from how things had been even a month or two before my birthday, but uh…” you swallowed down the little lump in your throat, unsure about what you even wanted to _say_. Truly you didn’t want to throw Chris under the bus, because it wasn’t fair to him; he didn’t have any real obligation to not be with anybody else through your arrangement but the pain was very much the same of having been cheated on. 

“So I went to his house, and um,” 

“And he had some bimbo there, even let her _answer the fucking door_ when Claire went to fix things,” Sebastian seethed, unable to restrain himself it seemed, having jumped into their conversation and left the boys with their jaws hanging slightly. 

“Yeah, so uh, that was… that was it,” you mumbled, and Sebastian wrapped you up in his arms. 

“Claire was… a mess. She’d texted me, we were going to hang out when I got to LA anyway, but after _that_ , we spent the afternoon watching movies and then went to the beach and she caught the red eye back to New York with me. It was… let’s be honest draga it was probably a real shitty move on my side, but… I’d liked Claire for a long time and hadn’t been in a place to do anything about it. I knew things had been really rocky and shitty with her and Chris for months, but I hadn’t wanted to say or do anything because if they could fix it then I would’ve wanted that for her, and we were such good friends I was scared of fucking _that_ up, and um…” 

“And we kind of got talking about it and how it hurt and it was shitty but it had kind of felt like things had been over for a while, and Sebastian blurted out his feelings and kissed me, and it just… it was right,” you finished for him, and the two of you sat quietly, nearly squirming under the gaze of your friends as they all processed what had just been told. It was a lot, it was kind of strange, but nevertheless it was essentially the truth and it was still your lives being under the microscope.  
“So you literally made your move like the day after she and Chris split?” Oksana asked, and Sebastian blushed. 

“It was like four,” you corrected, knowing it wasn’t any better. “But to be honest? I think, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, that Chris and I were over, that there was no saving whatever we’d had. Sometimes things just… have an expiry date, you know?” you asked, and soon everybody had nodded. “I just hadn’t realized I’d kind of accepted it until it slapped me in the face. I was just more hurt about the fact it hadn’t been actually over before he was with somebody else, I think.” 

Sebastian was quiet now, and you realized he was probably feeling unbelievably self-conscious. The way Oksana had called him out, _hard_ , even if she hadn’t meant to about how quickly he’d taken advantage of you being single must have been eating at him, worrying him. He’d already been nervous about your friends liking him, you knew he was now concerned they’d think poorly of him for how the two of you had got together. 

“Well I’m for one glad that you did,” Annie piped up, making Sebastian’s head snap up, blue eyes wide as they were focused on her. 

“Come on, Claire hasn’t been this happy in a long time, it was easy to see that things were on a downhill slide with Chris months before this happened. Who cares how long you were technically split before the two of you got together? What matters is that you’re together now and you’re happy and you two actually had the decency to do things right, unlike _him_ ,” there it was, the best friend seal of approval that made relief seep through Sebastian’s muscles so hard that you could feel him slump in his chair a bit. He’d expected reprimand, to be given a side eye or a questionable glance about his behaviour, but instead soon everybody was chipping in their two cents about how much better off you were with him. Annie had pulled through so hard for you and you were so grateful to have her as a friend, and even more grateful that she liked and approved of Sebastian so you didn’t have to try and win her over. She could be a real pain when she didn’t approve of someone, and you’d seen it first hand. In Annie’s defence though, when she didn’t approve, she generally had good reason and her instincts were hardly ever wrong, so that was another reason to be happy and grateful that she liked Sebastian so much right off of the bat.

“Can I get you anything else?” the waitress weakly interrupted, visibly uncomfortable jumping into the conversation, and after a quick check with everybody all that was requested were the bills. Once they were paid up and every one said goodbye with a promise to get together next month, the two of you were seated in your car, letting out long breaths. 

“So, did… did I do okay? D’you think they liked me?” Sebastian finally blurted, and you couldn’t restrain the laughter then. 

“Baz they _loved_ you, couldn’t you tell?” you asked, cupping his chiselled cheek and letting your thumb brush over his full bottom lip just a little. 

“I thought it was going okay, then the whole Chris thing came up and I kind of lost it, and I mean, I kind of was a douche for making a move on you so quickly and all, and—”

“Puiut they loved you, I mean it,” you softly repeated, and Sebastian smiled and kissed your thumb as you used the nickname he’d suggested in his native tongue.

“Yeah?” 

“Oh yeah,” you agreed, and met his lips for a quick kiss before the two of you started the drive back to the apartment. You managed a whole five minutes before you couldn’t resist any longer.

“So are you gonna tell me what puiut means?” 

 

“Nope,”


	24. Chapter 24

“Okay, so do I wear the blue?” you held the dress out in front of you, analyzing yourself in the mirror. You and Sebastian were in LA for the world premiere of the Avengers movie, and you’d narrowed it down to three dresses but hadn’t actually decided on one, and you had something like… an hour to do so. Sebastian’s tux had been picked out weeks ago, because he was good at things like this, and because every tuxedo he’d tried on had made him look incredible. You’d gone through something like twenty dresses total, always able to find a flaw or something that didn’t look good. It was more because of you and your body than the dresses, you knew, but it was still stressful. 

“This black one?” you held that one out, knowing Sebastian was watching your reflection in the mirror with the dresses in front of you. You then hung the blue one up on the rod before pulling the third option down to hold in front of yourself. “Or the red?” 

“Goddamn… the red. Definitely the red,” he decided, walking over to you, gently pulling the black dress from your hand and hanging it back up on the rod. “That will be stunning on you, draga.” 

It was a striking dress; a halter top with a plunging neckline that went nearly to your belly button. Low enough you’d debated putting it in the ‘no’ pile something like five times but hadn’t been able to yet. The dress was gorgeous, you knew, and you loved it, but felt insecure with the idea of actually wearing it. You hadn’t been going to the gym as regularly as you had before and during filming, and you were worried your figure couldn’t pull off the stunning floor length gown and it’s thigh-high slit now. 

“I just worry, I mean I haven’t been working out as hard and—”

“And you still look like Wonder Woman,” Sebastian cut you off with a quick kiss. “You look amazing, Claire; I know you’re all worried because you haven’t been working out as hard, but you haven’t put on weight or anything that would make you worry. Are you not comfortable with how much skin it shows?” 

“I just… worry I can’t pull it off. I mean, I’m not built like Scarlett or Lizzie and…” 

“And neither of them could wear this dress the way I know you can. Just relax; you’ll look amazing, draga,” he reassured you, before reaching around you to unbutton the blue plaid shirt you’d ‘borrowed’ from him when you’d been in New York with him last month. Wearing it had meant you didn’t have to wreck your hair after Sandy had done such a beautiful job styling it for you, and he slowly guided the soft material down your shoulders. 

“Come on, let’s get you dressed, because I know Sandy wants to touch up makeup and stuff before we head out for the carpet,” he murmured, and you took a deep breath before nodding and trying to steel your nerves a little bit to do as he said. You’d never done anything like this before, and wished you were sitting at home in comfy PJ’s watching on TV the way you knew Annie and the girls were back in Ohio. Never once had you worried about whether or not your belly paunched a little bit while wearing PJ’s with them. 

Sebastian gently helped you into the dress, holding it for you to step into and then doing up the small zipper at the back; it was mostly open, the material coming up just above your butt and leaving a large amount of exposed skin. Thank God Lisa, who’d been organizing the dresses, had found some kind of padded tape on bra things that weren’t exactly comfortable but helped you feel at least a little more covered rather than going completely braless under the dress that did not have enough coverage for a real bra. Doing up the clasp at the back of your neck he gently pulled your hair back over your shoulder and let the waves of hair and few clip in extensions cascade down past your shoulder blades. Your hair covered most of the exposed skin at the back, leaving your lower back open, and you watched in the mirror as Sebastian’s eyes moved over your body and over your reflection in front of the two of you, taking it all in as you slightly adjusted the material here and there.

“Absolutely stunning, draga,” he decided, blue eyes meeting your reflection in the mirror. The color was beautiful on your skin; it was just the cuts in the dress that made you so nervous and self-conscious about wearing it. However, knowing that Sebastian would be there beside you – his tie and pocket kerchief matching your dress no less – would definitely help. 

“Thanks babe. You look incredible,” you told him, turning to kiss him softly, caressing his clean-shaven jaw as you did so. His tux jacket was still hanging over the back of the desk chair, Sebastian not wanting to get too hot wearing it until you were both ready to leave. He gave you a smile, before those blue eyes were all but boring into you again. 

“I could wear a garbage bag and it wouldn’t matter – every single pair of eyes is going to be on you tonight,” he murmured, making you swoon a little before kissing him again. With that there was a knock on your hotel door, and the two of you pulled apart so you could let your hair and makeup artist in so you could finish getting ready. The older woman let out a happy shriek when she saw what you were wearing, making you blush and Sebastian laugh as she came in, huge bag of supplies in tow, and began setting up at the mirror. 

“I’m so happy you picked that one! You look like an Amazon in that red!” she gushed, and Sebastian’s face had ‘I told you so’ written all over it. 

“My point exactly,” he pointedly told you as you carefully sat down. Sandy put a paper towel over your chest to keep any loose powder or makeup from getting on the dress and closed your eyes to let her work her magic. 

“When I’m done with you _everybody_ is going to think you came right from Themyscira,” Sandy giggled, making you crack a grin and making Sebastian chuckle as well from where he was seated on the bed, playing on his phone. It only took her something like twenty minutes to have your face fully done, and with a groan Sebastian took your place, letting her put some concealer and a little powder on him. He playfully grumped about it, even though he knew it was part of the process by now, and you ruffled his hair before carefully smoothing it back into style, not wanting to kiss him until your lipstick had dried and set. 

“So handsome,” you grinned, making him scoff and roll his eyes before he finally let himself admire the makeup Sandy had put on your face. 

“Damn girl, and I get to have you as my date tonight?” he asked, and you blushed, looking at the brown and purple toned smoky eye, false lashes and nude lipstick look that you’d been given. It made your eyes stand out, and you had cheekbones thanks to her incredible contouring skills. Not quite like Sebastian, but you’d take what you could get. 

“Sandy’s got the magic touch,” you grinned, and Sebastian soon had his phone out to take a picture of the two of you. He snapped a couple before insisting he needed one floor length pic of you. Sandy even arranged your dress so the slit was perfectly positioned on your thigh, exposing just enough leg and a hint of your platform heels as you posed for him even though you were trying not to laugh. 

“Mama thinks you look stunning too, by the way,” he grinned, and you blushed when you realized he’d sent the picture to his mother. “But she wants a picture of both of us.” 

“I’ll take it! Oh it’s just like prom… I feel like a proud mother,” she joked, laughing as she took Sebastian's phone and waited for him to stand beside you, one hand on your waist and the other in his pocket as the two of you posed for a couple of pictures. She even adjusted the lighting to get a better shot before handing the phone back over and checking her watch. 

“We better get you two kids downstairs so you aren’t late – the limo’s waiting,” she announced, and Sebastian nodded as he shrugged into his jacket. You double-checked your clutch – making sure that your phone, debit card, ID, and key card to the room were all present, before the three of you turned off all the lights and exited. After giving Sandy a hug in thanks and a goodbye the two of you got into the elevator and made your way down through the lobby and to the limo that was idling in front of the doors. Sebastian opened the door for you with a flourish and helped you in, before sliding in beside you and closing the door. Apparently the two of you were showing up with this huge ass car alone, because everybody else had organized their own rides. It kind of did feel like prom, except that there would be hundreds of camera flashes and tons of reporters and stuff rather than just going to the school gymnasium for a dance. 

“Doing okay?” he asked, rubbing your back a little. You took a deep breath and nodded, glad for the water bottle Sebastian offered you. The nerves were beginning to set in, and God if you let yourself so much as think about the fact if you’d worn the black dress you were more covered and all you might just panic for real. 

“I’m not sure yet,” you admitted, and he kissed your temple. 

“Nothing to worry about babe, I’ll be by your side the entire time, I promise,” he told you, and you kissed him softly, inspecting his lips for a moment afterward to make sure you hadn’t left lipstick on his skin. Sebastian snorted, and joked that nobody could mistake you for anybody else’s date that way, so maybe you should leave a big old lipstick print on his cheek which made you laugh hard enough to relax a little and lean against him. 

Pulling up outside the theatre was absolute and utter chaos. There were two cars ahead, so the two of you were left to sit there, able to hear what was going on but not really see and let the nerves get worse and worse all the while. Even Sebastian’s knee was bouncing as he waited for the car to pull up and the driver to announce that you could get out, even though he shot you a tight grin and kissed the back of your hand in a show of support. 

“All right, here we go,” the driver smiled back at you, and you thanked him before Sebastian opened the door and started to get out. A wall of sound hit the both of you, screaming fans and photographers calling his name you saw him turn and give a little wave, before he was leaning over and offering his hand to you. With a little wink, he whispered just loud enough for you to hear. 

“Ready to let the whole world know you’re my girl, draguta?” 

You smiled wider and took his hand confidently as he helped you carefully get out of the car, helping to block you from view as you made sure your dress was lying properly, and the screaming somehow intensified once you stood up enough that you were in sight of the craziness that was the Avengers premiere. The camera flashes were nearly blinding, and you stood there and blinked a couple times, so caught off guard before Sebastian’s hand was gently resting on the small of your back, urging you to walk with him down the carpet toward the reporters and the cast who’d already shown up. 

A little girl caught your eye, waving a poster and jumping up and down, a huge smile on her face, so you tugged on Sebastian’s arm and gestured to her. With his own wide grin the two of you made your way toward the gate dividing fans from media and cast, and signed a couple of autographs, took a few pictures, and then you turned your attention to the little girl. 

Addie, her name was, and she was so very excited to see you in the movie that her mom had even ordered the first issue of the new Captain America comic book for her to read when it came out, so you cooed over her cuteness, thanked her and signed her poster and took a picture. She was also a very big fan of the Winter Soldier, and Sebastian was more than happy to do the same for her, the three of you crowding in for a picture that one of the crew helping to organize the flow of the carpet event took. After being thanked multiple times by both Addie and her mom, the two of you were ushered to your first TV interview of the event.  
One of the organizers or handlers or whatever they were technically called tried to herd Sebastian to one reporter and you to another, but Sebastian firmly wrapped his arm around you and took you with him, making you laugh at his stubbornness. 

“I said we’d do this together, I meant it babe,” he explained, and the organizer simply sighed and let him have his way, instructing Anthony over to the reporter and camera that was left empty in your wake. With your best smiles on the two of you smiled and nodded, giving just vague enough answers about the movie but being as candid as possible about your excitement for it. 

“So, one last question, even though I’m sure it’s obvious… are we looking at a real life romance between the Winter Soldier and Alessandra?” she asked with a knowing grin, and Sebastian’s smile relaxed considerably as he looked over at you. You couldn’t resist the dumb grin coming to your own face as you looked up at him before both of you turned back to the reporter. 

“I’d think it’s safe to say that,” he allowed, and kissed your temple before thanking the reporter and the two of you were being ushered to the next interview. Apparently the news of the two of you officially dating spread across the red carpet faster than you did, and soon you were being hit with questions about your relationship just as much as questions about the film. It made you a little nervous, but Sebastian was wonderful at fielding them. Giving just enough information to mostly answer a question but not get too personal or intrusive, and soon you were taking cues from him in how to answer the same way. When your cast mates came into view, however, neither of you seemed to be able to wipe the dumb grins off of your faces at the mix of surprise and glee.

“Oh my GOD!” Lizzie squealed and pulled you into a hug, making you laugh as you squeezed her tight. “The two of you look so. Damn. Good!” 

“Thanks Liz! You look amazing!” you gushed over the pale pink dress that hugged her body like a glove. She always looked incredible, and tonight had just turned it up another notch. 

“But you! Claire! And you even got Seb in a matching tie, so cute,” she told you, and Sebastian laughed. 

“Had to make sure everybody knew she was here with me somehow,” he teased, and she swatted at his shoulder playfully before hugging him as well. 

“You took look like you walked off a magazine!” she insisted, and soon the two of you were joined by Jeremy whose response was similar. He looked dapper in a dark grey suit and navy shirt, and you’d seen his little girl running around the hotel earlier, knowing she was around somewhere to see the movie, which had him in an even better mood.

“Claire, you look absolutely spectacular,” he grinned, and you pulled him into a tight hug. 

“You’re looking pretty good yourself Jeremy,” you replied with a smile, making him chuckle. 

“Sebastian, lookin’ sharp,” 

“You too man,” once they’d hugged the four of you visited for a few minutes until everybody was being pulled to interviews again. After escaping a reporter who could only seem to talk about the fact you’d dated Chris and were now at the premier with Sebastian, the two of you were waved over by Robert, and, incidentally, Chris who’d been standing beside him. Even if the latter seemed a little shell shocked and uncomfortable at the sight of the two of you walking over.

“Claire, darling you look wonderful,” Robert met you with a warm hug that you returned with a smile. Susan was there also, and as per usual looked beautiful. You made sure to hug her and tell her so, even though she tried to shrug it off like she usually did. Robert was a lucky man. 

“Looking dapper, Robert,” Sebastian grinned, and Robert puffed up a bit as he adjusted the lapels of his jacket. 

“I try. Have to look good enough to be here with my wife, you know,” he answered flippantly, making you all laugh. 

“Chris,” you nodded, and gave him a tiny smile. He looked a little rough, you noticed, and undoubtedly the hints of shadows under his eyes were worse without the concealer that his team must have insisted upon for all of these interviews. His blue eyes looked pained and tired, and he tried to smile back for you.

“Claire, it’s uh, good to see you,” he replied, and you nodded, giving him what had to be the shortest and most awkward hug of life. He and Sebastian simply nodded at each other and shook hands, and you realized Robert had carefully placed himself and his wife between the two of them and the cameras, hiding most of the awkward interaction from the media frenzy surrounding you. God were they ever wonderful people. 

“So, you even got to match?” Robert asked to start some conversation, making you laugh. 

“All my idea; she’d been going back and forth between these three dresses for weeks and I was really hoping she’d wear this one because she looks amazing in it. And I mean, if I wasn’t matching somebody might think she came here alone… can’t have that when she looks this stunning,” Sebastian teased, making Susan and Robert crack up, and while Chris cracked a smile you knew it was fake. It was forced, and it was obvious, and you wondered why he seemed to be in such poor shape tonight. You knew he hated doing shit like this, because it drove his anxiety through the roof. Usually he was able to hide it, but it seemed like more than that. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something and snapped it shut again, ducking his head and shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“I understand completely; exhibit A, and the only evidence necessary, my beautiful wife,” Robert agreed, and before you could visit much further he and Chris were whisked away, while you and Susan promised to catch up at an after party or something similar. 

“Awkard?” you whispered, and Sebastian nodded, keeping his smile on his face for the cameras as he leaned in. 

“So fucking awkward… I’m sorry babe,” 

“Nothing you did,” you assured him and pecked his cheek before you were being pulled away from Sebastian and into a hug. 

“Damn my girl; you look dope!” Anthony Mackie announced, cracking you up as you hugged him back. 

“Thank you – but really all credit goes to Sebastian, he’s the one who insisted on this dress,” you answered, and Anthony looked surprised before turning to his friend who was grinning like the devil. 

“You’re responsible for this?” he demanded, and Sebastian nodded. When Anthony let out a laugh and raised his hand for a high five you couldn’t help but join in on their laughter. 

“Hot damn, do you two ever look good,” he repeated, and Sebastian wrapped an arm around your waist as he nodded in agreement. 

“I know; well I mean it’s all Claire, but still,” Sebastian agreed, making you swat at his chest. 

“Not true; you look incredible,” you insisted, and turned to Anthony for support. Thankfully you got that goofy grin and a nod from him, which meant he was in your corner on this one.

“That he does, that he does. It’s those damn blue eyes of his, they make you feel at home and like you drowning all at once,” he pointed menacingly, making you chuckle some more as Sebastian rolled said blue eyes at the two of you being ridiculous. 

The rest of the carpet went by in a bit of a blur, you’d signed some more autographs and spent a little more time with some of the fans at the front of the barricade, feeling bad that they’d been waiting for God knows how long and were being mostly ignored due to how busy everybody was. It was no one’s fault; when you’re being handled from one interview to the next to pose for pictures for this camera and then to move here and do it all over again, it was overwhelming and exhausting and the only reason you and Sebastian were able to do so was because you’d essentially cut your interview times down by doing them all together. You’d even posed for the carpet pictures together, which had both of your ‘handlers’ exasperated and ready to give up. You listened, went where you were needed, but did it all together; hands laced together or with Sebastian’s hand at the small of your back or on your hip. 

“Okay, we’re going to escort the two of you in now,” Sebastian’s handler announced to the two of you, knowing there was no point in trying to organize you separately anymore, and with a grin you nodded and the two of you waved to the crowds waiting on either side before going into the theater. Now the fun but not-so fun part; watching the actual movie. The movie you were excited for, having to see yourself in it, not so much. 

The two of you were seated between the Downey’s and Lizzie, and after making a crack about not having any popcorn Robert was soon brought several extra large bags, making everybody laugh and him stutter as he’d obviously been kidding, before he was graciously divvying it up between everybody in the row. With that you settled into Sebastian’s side, and after some teasing from Robert he faked a yawn and then settled his arm around your shoulders a la a cheesy rom-com, making you and Lizzie giggle and everybody else laugh before you kissed his cheek and turned your attention to the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so sorry for being so awful about updating my stories... school hit me like a bus. I'm working on it though, I promise! Hope you guys liked it! :)


	25. Chapter 25

“Oh my God I never thought having to watch myself would be so _painful_ ,” you complained as a waiter offered you and Sebastian each a glass of champagne. The after party in full swing, the two of you had stopped by the hotel – for you to change into a shorter, easier to move in dress that Lisa had picked out for you, and to have your makeup checked and fixed a bit – before coming here. Everybody was here, except for Chris, who was notably absent. You heaved a breath, because Robert admitted to seeing him walk in but not having seen him since, and you had a damn good idea of where he was. 

“I know, I _hate_ having to watch myself,” Sebastian agreed, before you excused yourself over to where Chris Hemsworth, his wife, and Paul Rudd were all standing visiting. Chris was a little further back from the group, so you took the opportunity to tap his shoulder as you stood beside him.

“Could you… go check in the alley, he’s probably having a cigarette,” you mumbled to Chris, who seemed shocked by your suggestion. You knew the two of them were really good friends, and that Chris’ distraction was probably worrying about where the hell Chris Evans had disappeared to. Everybody had noticed how off he’d been the entire night, and you knew more than one person was worried about him.

“What? I thought he quit?” 

“Except when he’s really anxious… I mean, at least that’s what it was the last time we’d really spent any time together. Just… please? I’m sure you’ll find him out there,” you silently pleaded with Chris to not ask questions, and thankfully he nodded, patted your shoulder with his giant bear-paw of a hand, and wandered in the direction of the exit sign. You didn’t really want to put yourself in an alley alone with Chris, too worried you might actually lose it a little bit and snap at him, which Sebastian seemed to think was a healthy thing that you _should_ do. You didn’t want to ruin what was supposed to be a huge and happy night, and so had decided that maybe trying to keep distance between you and Chris was the best option. And to keep Sebastian from Chris, knowing that if he had a few drinks in him he might just step in to ‘speak up’ for you and that would cause a scene, maybe even a fight, and you couldn’t bear the thought of that happening. So instead you walked back over to your boyfriend and tucked yourself against his side, sighing as he wrapped his arm around you and nuzzled your cheek playfully. 

“Can you guys believe it? I must be the luckiest guy here,” he joked, making the Russo’s and Anthony laugh even though it had been his running joke the whole evening and he still made you blush every single time. 

“You do look amazing, Claire,” Joe agreed, and you thanked him before the talk went on to how amazing the film had looked, the Russo’s looking extremely proud as the three of you praised their work and vision. It was true; the angles and wide shots had been spectacular, which was no surprise, and they’d managed to capture and tell the story beautifully without sacrificing the ‘action’ that was necessary of a superhero movie.

“It wouldn’t have been anything without all of you guys,” they insisted again and again, until they were called over by somebody else and moved to visit with them. Within a few minutes the two Chris’s wandered back into the party, and you had to forcibly keep yourself from wincing at Chris’s haggard appearance. Even his clothes looked a little dishevelled, and Sebastian hugged you tighter to his side as his eyes landed on his friend. 

“It’s okay, we can just kind of… avoid him,” he whispered, and you nodded, tearing your eyes from him and looking up at the amazing man who was your boyfriend and softly kissing his lips. 

“Thanks Baz, I just… this isn’t a night for any of the bullshit and the drama and I just want to enjoy it and remember it like this,” you mumbled, to which he nodded and soon steered you over toward the far corner to get new drinks as well as visit with Lizzie and some of her friends. After being introduced to Lizzie’s roommate and the two other girls who’d came with, you soon got on topic of having been in New York with Sebastian, and Lizzie let out a gasp. 

“God, I _thought_ I saw you in Greenwich the one day but told myself there was just no way… I knew it had to have been you! You should’ve texted me!” she reprimanded you, making you blush. Sebastian had toured you around Greenwich for an entire afternoon, the two of you having lunch in a little bistro and going through shops. It hadn’t really crossed your mind to call Lizzie up that visit as you’d only had a week with Sebastian and he’d planned a lot of things. 

“I’m so sorry… it never even occurred to me,” you blushed, and Sebastian jumped in. 

“It’s my fault; I kept her so busy the last time she came out,” he admitted with a shy grin, making Lizzie’s friends swoon a little at him. “What can I say? Everybody I know wants to meet her and that meant being busy every single night, and then there was still so much of the city to show her… next time she comes out we’ll have you over for dinner, how’s that?” 

Lizzie nodded approvingly at his suggestion before winking at you. “I think that’ll make up for it! You’ll have to come to a ballet class with me next time you’re out; it would be so much fun to go with somebody,” 

“That would be great, but I don’t know if I even remember anything anymore; ballet was a long ass time ago,” you told her, which she shrugged off with the comment that ‘ballet was like riding a bike’ which was terribly untrue, but you let it slide. Lizzie was too excited and happy and you wanted nothing more than to just be the same. 

You recounted all about going to Chace’s house party with Sebastian when you were out; the gorgeous modern apartment and little rooftop patio he had that had been strung up with fairy lights so everybody could enjoy the New York night. There had been food and plenty of alcohol, and Sebastian had spent the first hour of the party essentially showing you off to all of he and Chace’s mutual friends, introducing you and proudly telling anyone who would listen about your role in _Rent_ on Broadway from a walk-in audition and getting a Marvel contract for four movies. His bragging had kept you with an eternal blush on your cheeks, but the fact he’d looked at you with a proud smile every time had made butterflies dive around in your stomach. Being introduced as his girlfriend had also made the butterflies act up, because it had been an amazing evening. You’d even made it to the final game of the beer pong tournament, losing only to Chace and his friend Bryan. Lizzie had laughed and gushed, insisting that the two of you were so cute it was unbelievable, which made you laugh, your eyes wandering to your boyfriend who was visiting some five feet away with Mark Ruffalo, Robert and a few others. 

“He’s something,” you agreed, and she pulled you into a quick side hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re happy; I was really worried when I heard about you and Chris… and especially _how_ it all happened? God I can’t even imagine Claire,” Lizzie told you, and hugged you tighter. “I’m so happy you have Sebastian because he really, really cares about you. It’s all over his face every time he looks at you.” 

“Really?” you asked, your eyes wandering back to him as you took in his handsome profile yet again. You could look at that jawline all day every day and never get tired of it, the same with his beautiful grey-blue eyes and the way his smile was always warm and sweet even if he was tired or grumpy first thing in the morning. 

“Just like that,” Lizzie teased you, making you giggle as Sebastian turned and sent you that little smile with a wink, before excusing himself from the guys to walk back over to you. 

“What kind of trouble are you two planning?” he asked, making you swat at his chest while Lizzie made a face. 

“Why do you think we’re always getting into trouble?” she complained, making him chuckle as he kissed your temple and snuck an arm around your waist, letting you rest your head against his chest. 

“Because you just have that look… and the two of you always look like you’re scheming something together,” he explained, and when Lizzie stuck her tongue out at him they both cracked and began laughing at the absurdity of it. 

“We were just talking about New York,” you offered, and he nodded, putting his other arm around you and effectively hugging you to his chest. You were getting tired rather quickly, knowing it was the amount of drinks you’d had seeping into your system. 

“Yeah? You gonna start taking dance classes together?” he asked, and you shrugged. 

“I’ll go check a few out next time I’m out,” you allowed, and Lizzie clapped her hands together in glee about you mostly agreeing to it. The two of you hadn’t seen nearly enough of each other since filming had ended which had sucked; she’d quickly become an extremely close friend to you.

“So, do you think you’re going to be spending a lot more time in New York?” she asked a few minutes later, and you opened your mouth to answer before closing it, realizing you weren’t sure. You hated the idea of you and Sebastian spending so much time apart, but after the whole Chris thing, the idea of moving to be with someone or moving in with someone so quickly was a little… terrifying to say the least. 

“I… Well I’ll probably be in New York considerably more than I was,” you allowed, and felt Sebastian tense a little beside you. 

“We haven’t really figured out how we’re going to do the distance and travelling yet; so far Claire’s come out to stay with me three times and I’ve gone to Lancaster twice, so I think fair’s fair that I head out her way next time,” he teased, and you nodded, turning your head up to look at him and try and read his expression. You could see the tension around his eyes, knew he was trying to hide whatever was going through his head and instead turned into him and wrapped your arms around him, the alcohol more than enough to cloud and overwhelm your thoughts a bit. You didn’t want Sebastian to be sad or upset or to think you _didn’t want_ to be with him all the time, it wasn’t him it was the situation and the way those things always seemed to end. 

“And we’ll figure it out from there. We’ve only been together a few months, there’s no way in hell I’d expect Claire to come out to New York on a more indefinite basis, same way she wouldn’t expect me to relocate to Lancaster. We’ve just got to find a good balance in the meantime,” he continued, and you felt Lizzie’s hand on your back for a moment trying to console you. 

“She’s a little drunk,” you heard Lizzie whisper, and felt Sebastian nod. 

“Yeah, tonight’s been a lot, and we kinda… well we’ve had a few drinks too,” he agreed, and kissed the top of your head. “I think it might be time to head back to the hotel?” 

His question was directed at you, and while you shook your head no a yawn erupted, making him chuckle before softly kissing your lips. 

“We can head out; it’s already one am, and we’ll see everybody tomorrow for lunch, right?” he asked Lizzie, who nodded. 

“Of course. You get some sleep all right? Maybe we can even go shopping tomorrow afternoon,” her bright smile was enough to get a small smile out of you as you gave her a tight hug. 

“It’s okay; it’s okay. I’m sorry for asking; I know the whole distance thing sucks and probably the idea of solving it is scary,” she murmured against your hair as Sebastian disappeared to go reclaim his suit jacket from the chair he’d left it on. 

“I just… I don’t want to hurt him because I want to spend all the time together but I can’t… I can’t just jump in the way I did last time because then we’ll just get hurt,” you quietly admitted, and Lizzie held you tighter, and soon you felt another pair of arms around you. You looked up to see the face of Susan Downey, in what looked to be full mom mode. 

“You okay sweetheart?” 

“I will be,” you allowed, realizing you were probably slurring your words a little bit. You had drank a considerable amount of champagne and wine, and to be honest you were surprised you were still functioning as well as you were. Lizzie’s observation of you being ‘a little drunk’ was probably an underwhelming one.  
“Is it the distance thing? Robert said Sebastian mentioned it had been a little hard on you two. It’ll get better once there’s a routine and a system honey,” she assured you, and Lizzie nodded from beside you. 

“Does it though?” 

“Distance will always suck, I’ll be honest. But once the two of you have a routine it really does get a little easier because you know when you’re seeing each other and you’ll start to learn how to cope both together and apart. And Sebastian really cares about you sweetie, I’m quite positive he’s the kind to hop a flight in the middle of the night if you needed him,” she told you, gently finger combing some hair away from your face. 

“He’s the best,” you agreed, and she smiled. 

“There you go. Now, no worrying about how other relationships ended or things you did then that you’re afraid to do now. Sebastian isn’t any of those boys, and he’s a wonderful young man who cares about you very much, so try not to let yourself panic so hard, okay?” she told you, and pulled you in for a much-needed hug. “I know it’s hard, especially when the last thing to go south wasn’t terribly long before you two started dating, but you can talk to him about it, I promise. He wants to be there for you no matter what.” 

“Thanks Susan,” you mumbled against her shoulder, and she squeezed you tight before you felt her hand you off to said boyfriend who wrapped his jacket around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head. 

“Sorry ladies but I think it’s time for us to hit the hay,” he apologized to them, getting a hug goodbye while you hugged Lizzie close and thanked Susan again, the two of you waving and making quick farewells to everyone– knowing you’d see almost all of them tomorrow anyway – heading toward the front doors and hopefully to a waiting car. 

“Claire? Claire can I… can I talk to you?” you nearly tripped over your own feet hearing Chris’s voice come through, scratchy and like he’d been sick or crying or something. His voice was usually a much smoother tone; it was a huge giveaway to what all was going on in his head. 

“Chris, it’s really not a good time; Claire’s exhausted and drunk,” Sebastian’s whole body was tensed; you could feel him getting defensive even in your sleepy and intoxicated state. You squeezed him tighter, willing him to somehow read your mind and not start anything, and when he put his arms around you, you hoped he’d done that. 

“I jus’… I need to talk to you,” Chris tried again, ragged voice slurring his words a little and you realized he was even more drunk (drunker?) than you were, and Sebastian put himself in between the two of you when he realized it as well. 

“No, go home Chris, sober up a bit, if you’re still wanting to talk to her tomorrow you can,” Sebastian argued, and physically stepped in front of you when Chris went to argue. 

“Claire can talk for herself,” he told the slightly shorter brunette, Sebastian not backing down in the slightest from Chris. You tugged on his hand, one of the bouncers eyeing the situation carefully as you tried to get Sebastian to leave with you, seeing one of the black town cars rented for the Marvel event pulling into the loading zone right outside of the doors. 

“I know she can, but right now she’s tired and drunk and we’re trying to leave, so if you can’t—”

“Baz, puiut let’s go. We can… we can talk tomorrow Chris, okay?” you mumbled, a hand on Sebastian’s tensed bicep turning him slightly toward you. Sebastian deflated a little, his expression softening as he looked you over before kissing your forehead and nodding. 

“Of course draga, we’re going,” he told you, and after Sebastian gave Chris a pointed look his shoulders slumped and he took a few steps back, burying his hands into his pockets so the two of you could go by. 

“Claire ‘m sorry,” you heard him whisper, nearly breaking your heart as the two of you walked by him, and you turned to look at him. His head was down, eyes trained on the floor, shoulders slumped, and you realized Chris was very not okay, for some reason. Maybe he missed being friends too, the way you still did. Sebastian was arguably the best boyfriend you’d ever had, but you missed the friendship you and Chris had created before the stupid fake-dating thing, and maybe he missed it too. Neither of you had a lot of people who fully understood the anxiety and all; Sebastian did, thankfully, and had become somebody you relied on a hell of a lot in the four months the two of you were together, but it was always nice having more people in your corner; something all three of you understood from personal experience. 

“It’s okay babe, it’s okay,” Sebastian murmured in your ear as he helped guide you out to the car. Once inside you snuggled against him, glad he was more than happy to wrap his arms around you and hold you tight the entirety of the ride back to the hotel and even the trip up to your room.

“Baz, I—”

“It’s okay draga, we’ll talk in the morning, about anything and everything, okay?” Sebastian said, kissing your forehead gently as he undid his tie and took it off. “Today was a big day, and I know you’ve got a lot running through your head right now, but we both know you like some time to think on things, so don’t feel like you have to pick it all apart for me right now, okay? You can talk about it whenever you want to.” 

“You’re the best Baz, I just… I just wanted to say… I’m sorry I got upset and acted weird and we had to leave, I know you were having fun,” you mumbled, sitting on the end of the bed a little dejectedly. Sebastian came over, gently tipping up your chin so you could see his smile before he was on his knees in front of you, undoing your shoes and sliding them off of your feet.

“Claire, don’t you worry about that, okay? I was getting ready to come back anyway,” he insisted, kissing you softly before pulling you to your feet so he could undo the short zipper at the back of your dress and the clasp at the neck to help you out of it. “And it’s okay, there’s nothing to be sorry for, so don’t think about it.” 

“But I do,” 

“I know draga, I know,” he kissed you again, and you sighed. 

“I just… you were upset when Lizzie asked me about New York. I want to spend all the time with you I do but the idea of moving somewhere scares the fuck out of me,” you blurted, and he let out a sigh, that familiar, fond smile on his lips as he cupped your cheeks and kissed you again. 

“It’s okay babe, like I said, don’t worry about it. I know it scares the shit out of you, and that’s okay. It’s only been four months, there’s no reason for us to be worrying about any kind of moving, and that’s okay too. We’ll get there when we get there, so there’s no need to panic. There’s no need to panic,” he repeated, kissing you slowly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He always knew what to say. 

“I know, I just, I saw you get upset and I think it’s because of everything that happened with Chris and I’m trying not to let it affect anything else but—”

“Shh, Claire, breathe with me, okay?” he asked, pressing his forehead to yours and taking slow, steady breaths. You started to copy him, and soon had relaxed a tiny bit. He made sure your breathing had evened out considerably before he started to speak again. “I know you think that the two of you living together was a step you maybe shouldn’t have taken, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel however you want about it; but you don’t have to panic about us. Whenever we’re ready to talk about maybe somebody moving or spending considerably more time in one place or the other, we’ll talk about it, but baby I’m not upset that Lizzie asking if you were going to be in New York all the time caught you off guard, and I’m not upset because you didn’t say yes to it. I know it scares you, I know you want to take things a little slower and do it right, and I want that too. I just want to do this right with you draga, because I l—because you mean the world to me, okay? So don’t worry about any of it.” 

With that you kissed him again, tears in the corners of your eyes at his sweet words. After helping you get out of the god awful sticky bra thing he pulled one of his old, weathered T-shirts from his bag and pulled it over your head for you to sleep in. Stealing his old t-shirts was quickly becoming a bad habit because a) they smelled like him, b) they were soft and comfy, and c) they helped you feel like part of him was there when the two of you were apart and it helped calm your nerves or anxieties. You felt like a dog in a thunder jacket but liked the t-shirts too much to care about it. It took him a few minutes to figure out how to help you get the few extensions that had been clipped into your hair for volume out but he did, carefully laying them out on the bathroom counter even though he said it was weird. You hadn’t asked him for the help, but in your drunken state couldn’t exactly argue with him either, and so let him fawn over you a bit before you slid his dress shirt down his shoulders and off, and after a lot of difficulty – and maybe your tongue peaking out a little with focus – got his belt undone and out of the loops so you could undo his slacks and slide them down his legs. 

“Ready for bed sweetheart?” he softly asked a minute or two later, and you nodded, scrubbing at your eyes one more time with the makeup cleansing wipe before throwing it away and scooting over to him. You pressed your face against his neck, breathing in that familiar, soothing scent, and felt Sebastian sigh happily as he relaxed and draped himself over you. 

“Night Baz,” you murmured against his skin, and with a kiss to the crown of your head you barely heard him mumble it back before you were out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So kind of happy and silly but kind of sad... sorry for a little more roller-coaster life! Updates are probably going to get a wee bit more scarce the next few weeks, just because school and work is insane and in between all that I'm going to try and celebrate my birthday (yay me lol) 
> 
> Hope you guys like the chapter! :)


	26. Chapter 26

“Oh my God – London is beautiful,” you whispered, mostly to yourself as you stared in awe out the cab window. Sebastian was sitting beside you, blue grey eyes as tuned to you as you were to the scenery going by. The London premiere had been the night before, and Sebastian had insisted the two of you go together before taking a couple days off to simply be tourists in the city, as you’d never been out of country before. You and Chris had never had the chance to talk things out – after the World Premiere the whole cast had met for lunch with the exception of Chris, who had apparently been puking away his hangover – and so you and Sebastian had tried to avoid a second fall out at the London premiere as well. It had been so busy that it hadn’t even really been purposeful, and neither of you had had the energy to attend an after party, instead calling it a night right after the film and retiring to the hotel to drink wine sitting in the Jacuzzi and go to bed. 

“It is,” he agreed, large hand moving to your knee as you turned back to look at him, knowing you were grinning from ear to ear. Sebastian had told you London would definitely be your kind of city, as he’d been here for a semester during his BFA working with the Globe Theatre, and knew the city well. 

“So, what are we doing first?” you asked, nearly bouncing in your seat as you turned to face him fully again. Sebastian laughed, and the cabbie grinned back at you. 

“We are headed to the Tower of London,” he replied, and you let out an excited squeak before leaning over to press a kiss to Sebastian’s lips. He’d planned out two full days of activities and sightseeing for the two of you, so that the remainder of your little holiday could be spent relaxing or doing whatever you wanted to. 

“That sounds amazing,” you replied, and he kissed the top of your head, pointing out things as you drove by until the cabbie pulled up along the sidewalk. After paying and exiting, Sebastian’s arm was comfortably around your shoulders as the two of you were soon carried into the throng of people that was London’s foot traffic. The weather was still lovely, but it called for jeans with the early fall weather as opposed to the lounge clothes the two of you had spent the summer in, and you buried a hand into the back pocket of Sebastian’s jeans as you walked, making him jump in surprise. His grin soon took over and he kissed your temple again as the two of you wandered toward the tower and bridge. 

After spending the entirety of the morning going through the exhibits and listening to the tour you were back in a cab, with Sebastian again not giving anything away about where you were going. Before long, however, you were in front of the British Museum, and with both of you readily admitting to being nerds, the excitement thrumming through your system was also in his. 

“C’mon, this museum is amazing,” he told you, and while holding hands the two of you purchased tickets and spent the entirety of the afternoon wandering around. There was a little bit of everything in the museum, and between reading the information on the little placards in front of exhibits and Googling for more when the placard didn’t satisfy your curiosity neither of you realized how long you’d been in the museum until you checked your phone and saw it was already four thirty in the afternoon. With a shared surprised look the two of you hurried through the last exhibit and soon found yourself walking down toward the river, Sebastian wearing that same knowing smile before the London Eye came into view. 

“No way,” you grinned, and he nodded, pulling two passes out of his wallet.

“We don’t even have to wait in line to go up.” 

“You are incredible!” you told him, pulling him in for a kiss that he met eagerly before both of you were hurrying down the last few blocks to where you could see the queue that neither of you had to stand and wait in thanks to Sebastian’s thoughtfulness. 

You stayed leaning against his side the entire trip, able to point out other landmarks and taking pictures from up in the glass bubble, before getting a few pictures of the two of you together. You managed to get him to sit nicely for two before he was making silly faces and sloppily kissed your cheek for the last picture, making you laugh even as he snapped the photo. While it wasn’t the polished picture you’d wanted, it definitely was more reflective of the two of you and you knew as soon as you saw it that you were going to want to put that one in a frame; it was too adorable not to. 

“Today has been amazing Baz,” you mumbled against his shoulder, letting out a long breath as your eyes took in the last of the view as the glass bubble you were in was on its descent back to the ground.

“I’m really glad you liked it,” he softly replied, and you nodded before kissing him. He snuck an arm around your shoulders and leaned his head against yours, blue eyes taking in the view as well before he turned back to you. 

“I’ve just got one more thing planned for tonight,” he told you, piquing your interest yet again. How he’d managed all of this amongst press and everyday life you had no idea but you were so touched that he had. Your mini-vacation had only been a day so far and it was at the top of your all time list. 

“And what’s that?” 

“Dinner,” he answered, and you nodded, knowing he wouldn’t give you any more information than that. Considering the fact he hadn’t told you to dress up and you weren’t going back to the hotel first it was safe to guess it wasn’t some kind of fancy dinner, thankfully, because your makeup was minimal and your hair was in a messy half-ponytail to combat the wind and keep it out of your face. 

“Trafalgar square, please,” Sebastian told the cabbie once you were in, and you were nearly squirming in your seat with excitement. You knew that Trafalgar square and Picadilly were side-by-side, and supposed to be a really cool tourist spot to go and see.

“I thought we could wander around, see what there is to see – I know it’s kind of later so I’m not sure if much will be going on – and then we can find some place to eat,” he suggested, and you nodded. It sounded absolutely wonderful to you to be able to wander around and just take in whatever of the city you could. You knew tomorrow Sebastian had organized for the two of you to take a day trip to Stonehenge, Windsor Castle and Bath, so the day would be jam-packed with interesting things to see, so it was nice to be able to take today at your own pace with him. 

Arms linked together you wandered the squares and streets, able to see bits and pieces of what the daily buzz was like even though many of the shops were working on closing up for the night. A little café tucked in against the wall was where you stopped for dinner, and after walking around for another ten or fifteen minutes Sebastian hailed a cab to take the two of you back to the hotel for the evening. 

“So I was thinking, I know there won’t be time for it tomorrow, but maybe Monday we could go somewhere nice for dinner and go to a show?” he suggested, stripping off his t-shirt and stretching out his arms before he flopped down onto the bed beside you. 

“I think that sounds absolutely lovely,” you answered, looking up from your novel. The two of you had decided on a movie, and while Sebastian planned to go hit the treadmill in the gym for a little bit you were content to sit and catch up on some reading before he came back upstairs. While you liked to accompany Sebastian to the gym most times, seeing as this was your vacation you’d decided on saying to hell with it. 

“Yeah? I’m going to see if we can get tickets at the Globe, I think, and base dinner around that,” 

“Sebastian that’s… you don’t have to do all that. Let me get the tickets,” you insisted, but he shook his head. In a smooth motion he crossed his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at you, his jaw setting slightly in a way that meant he was going to argue with you as he sat up properly.

“Nope, my idea, my treat,” 

“Sebastian this whole vacation so far has seemed to fall into that category and that’s not fair,” you accused him, setting down your book and crossing your arms as well. “Let me get the tickets or pay for dinner or something.” 

“No, babe, just… please? I want to do this for us, please let me,” he insisted, sticking out his bottom lip just a little and pouting, almost looking too adorable to argue with. Almost. 

“Baz…” 

“You can buy lunch tomorrow out on our tour, how’s that?” he offered, making you groan even as he laughed and pulled a gym shirt over his head before shucking his jeans and digging through his bag for gym shorts. 

“That’s still not fair,” 

“Just let me have Monday, okay? Then we can go from there,” he repeated, and with a sigh you relented, letting him kiss you sweetly before letting you know he’d be back up in forty five minutes to watch the movie. 

“Wow, Baz this place is… beautiful,” you whispered as you took in the restaurant Sebastian was leading you into behind the host. When he’d told you to dress up you’d expected nice but this… this was borderline palatial, and you understood in a whole new way why Sebastian was wearing an actual suit and had asked you to wear a dress that was as nice as the one you’d worn to the premiere just a few days previous. With high ceilings and gold trim along the crown moulding and wall panels, crystal chandeliers and wait staff dressed just short of full tuxedos, you were a little aw-struck at what surrounded you. Sebastian had even combed and styled his hair and tied a bowtie for the evening, and his hand grasped yours just a little tighter as he took in your response. In all you felt nothing short of a princess, and you were so glad to be here with him.

“Do you like it?” he asked as the host gestured with a flourish to your table, and as he moved to pull out your chair Sebastian waved him off in order to do it himself. With a grateful smile you sat and helped as Sebastian pushed your chair in closer to the table before he took his own seat across from you. Once the host had given you the evening menu and wine list he bowed and left, insisting the waiter would be there shortly. 

“Like it? Sebastian this is… this is breathtaking and unbelievable,” you told him, and placed your hand in his upright palm on top of the table. The small, relieved and adorable smile on his lips put one on your own as his blue eyes watched you. 

“I’m really glad, I just… I wanted this to be really special, you know? It’s… today’s six months since I kissed you, I don’t… I mean I don’t know if that really counts as our real six months or not but, I mean…” he mumbled, cheeks heating up and flushing a light shade of pink even as you squeezed his hand and ran your thumb across his skin. 

“I know… and here I thought we were just going to grab dinner and a show or something and hang out at the hotel… Baz, puiut, you didn’t have to go to all of this,” you told him, to which he simply shrugged. 

“I wanted to, Claire… these last six months have been amazing, and I just wanted to make sure you knew just how happy and grateful I am to have you in my life, is all,” he explained, bringing your hand to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles, making you blush even as you swooned at him. 

“Baz…” 

“Claire, draga I—”

The waiter, who had recommendations for the evening meal as well as for wine, cut him off accidentally, and Sebastian’s smile was only dimmed slightly as the two of you chose a bottle of wine and ordered your food. He never once so much as lightened his grip on your hand, even though you saw the waiter kind of eyeballed the display of affection. You couldn’t care less, because it wasn’t inappropriate or affecting anyone else in the high-class restaurant, and because it was a pretty major relationship milestone and you wanted to celebrate it the same way Sebastian did. 

“What were you saying, Baz?” 

“I just… I’m really glad we decided to make a vacation out of this trip; it’s been a lot of fun,” he told you; smile relaxing as he slipped into his natural grin. With that you squeezed his hand, and the two of you launched into a rundown of your favourite parts of the matinee show you had seen that afternoon before changing and getting ready for dinner. It was easy to see Sebastian’s love for stage, and you knew he’d really got his start in theatre from high school and then with his degree, even though most of the parts he got were smaller until after he’d had a few TV roles. Sometimes you didn’t always get to end up where your heart wanted you to be, even though you knew he loved working with film as well.

“Would you want to go back to theater?” you asked, taking a small bite of your steak as Sebastian had just gushed over the acting you’d seen earlier that afternoon. He nodded enthusiastically, and that grin of his widened as he began speaking. 

“Oh definitely; I would really love to go back to it. It’s just… with the whole Marvel contract it’s really hard to find time for other projects, and that’s when you’re only really turning up to shoot for a couple months. Theatre… well you know Claire, to do a production you’ve got some six or more months of rehearsals then the actual run is a six nights a week thing for how long, there’s just no way I can swing it while I’m still playing Bucky,” he tapered off a little and you felt your heart go out to him. 

“I mean, I love it and I’m so grateful, it’s just… a little upsetting that I’m kind of moving through the part of my life where there’s so many roles for guys my age and I’m so limited, you know? But I wouldn’t give up playing Bucky regardless, I just…” 

“It stings a little knowing that while you’ve gained so much you’re giving a lot up at the same time to do it?” you gently supplied for him, and he nodded, looking relieved that you understood. Ungrateful was a word that never applied to Sebastian, and you knew that well; he knew what it was like to struggle and work hard and he never took a single job or opportunity for granted because of that, and it was part of what made him such a wonderful and endearing person, at least in your opinion. 

The remainder of your meal went by in what felt like a blur; the food was amazing, soft classical music playing throughout the venue, and the low, constant chatter of other patrons visiting over their meals. Whether Sebastian tipped off the waiter or he’d caught wind of your conversation dessert was brought for you, and the two of you shared the chocolate mousse while giggling like teenagers all the while. By the time the two of you were almost visited out – the entire bottle of wine having been finished along with your dessert – you realized you were a little dejected to have to head back to the hotel. Being out and about with Sebastian was always fun, regardless of whether it was something big like this or even just going to grab a burger a few blocks from his apartment in New York. 

“So, draga, did you have fun tonight?” he softly asked as the two of you left the restaurant, your hand securely in his as he helped you down the front steps. 

“How could I not? Baz this was the best,” you assured him with a soft kiss to his cheek, and he turned his head to peck your lips. There was shouting, hooting and hollering, and both of you froze, whipping around to see the source of the commotion and seeing a swarm of paparazzi headed toward the front of the restaurant. Sebastian sighed and put himself between you and the impeding crowd of cameras, ready to protect you it seemed, but soon there were three large men in tailored suits herding the people off to the side. You blinked in surprise and looked up to Sebastian for explanation, but found him to be just as caught off guard. Minutes later it was all explained, however, as more suited private security came out escorting none other than Will and Kate, and the two of you blushed and quickly moved out of the way, excusing yourselves. Getting a bright smile and a ‘no need to apologize’ from the royal couple, the two of them even _apologizing for their security_ , which had to be the most absurd thing you’d heard as they obviously _needed_ it, and congratulated the two of you on the film, then they were in a private town car and leaving. The two of you were left a little gobsmacked as Sebastian walked you toward the car that had been sitting waiting for the two of you, and you heard a few snaps and flashes as a couple of the paps realized who the two of you were. In all honesty you were still too stunned to care. 

“Baz… Baz we just met Will and Kate!” you finally blurted, and he nodded before laughing, probably at the absurdity of the situation. 

“Jesus, and to think we were panicking that those paps were coming for _us_ ,” he teased, rolling his eyes. “I think our egos have grown, draga.” 

“Oh god,” you giggled, before leaning your head on his shoulder, his arm comfortably around yours as the town care soon was winding its’ way back toward your hotel. 

“Tonight was magical, Baz,” you whispered as he unzipped your dress back in your room. His fingers lingered along the skin of your lower back, sending a small shiver down your spine. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he whispered, voice a little gravelly, although you weren’t sure why. You turned to look at him over your shoulder and found Sebastian’s blue eyes wide and staring at you, almost a hint of moisture in them that confused you. With a soft caress you cupped his cheek, eyes roaming his face for any hint that something was wrong before you kissed the corner of your lips. 

“Everything okay?” 

“More than okay, everything’s perfect,” he insisted, helping to slip the dress off your shoulders as you stepped out of it, pulling on a robe before taking the garment from him and hanging it on its’ hanger in the garment bag. 

“You sure Baz? You look a little choked up or something,” you murmured, pulling him into your arms, glad you were closer to his height with your high heels still on. He eagerly met your embrace, taking a few long, slow breaths before kissing you softly and tenderly. 

“I love you, Claire,” he whispered, and your heart stopped for several moments before it was nearly beating out of your chest. “I’ve wanted to tell you all night, but every time the moment felt right I got interrupted.” 

With a soft smile he kissed your cheek, gently brushing a tendril of hair off of your face. 

“Baz, I—”

“I know it’s soon, draga, I understand. I just, I had to tell you,” his voice soft and quiet between the two of you as he kissed you again. 

“I love you too, Baz,” you whispered against his lips, and when he kissed you this time it was with a newfound energy and passion, his arms encircling you, his tongue playing at your lips before exploring and tasting you as if it was the first time all over again, and you were along for the ride. 

“Best trip ever,” Sebastian breathed against your cheek a moment later between kisses. You chuckled against his lips, making him smile as you nodded. 

“Best trip ever,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's some cheesy lovey-dovey-ness for these two :) Don't worry, the Chris conversation is coming... I just had to write some more fluffy things :)


	27. Chapter 27

“Hey babe; how’s LA treating you?” he asked, flopping down onto his couch and sprawling out, turning his gorgeous blue eyes toward his phone or laptop – whichever he had Facetime running on – and smiling at you. You couldn’t help but grin back, glad that the whole distance thing had gotten easier the past few months. But now you were finding yourself running to LA more often for auditions and reads, and while Sebastian was more than supportive you knew it was taking its toll. Especially when your one-year anniversary was in two weeks and he was going to be out of country filming a movie while you would be here doing a four episode guest-spot on a new TV show and then appearing on Agents of SHIELD. 

“So far? It’s been great. But it would be better if my boyfriend was here,” you teased, making him groan. He’d wanted to come with you, badly, but a script he’d had his eye on for _months_ was finally being picked up by a studio and they were doing casting reads immediately after he was done filming, and neither Sebastian nor you wanted him to miss that. So he was pouting in France in his hotel room while you were in a short-term rental soaking up as much sun and sand as you possibly could. 

Sebastian’s birthday a few months ago had been a fairly small affair; some friends from Chicago and LA coming out to New York to celebrate and hang out at the beach in Brooklyn before going for dinner and drinks at his favourite restaurant. It had been a lot of fun, and you’d blushed for hours at Sebastian’s slightly drunken grin and insistence that he was the luckiest man around, to have such great friends and such a wonderful girlfriend. 

He’d made you blush endlessly while his friends laughed, and Chace had ruffled your hair up and confided that he was so happy to see Sebastian this happy in a relationship and his life. Then he made you blush even worse after teasing that the two of you needed to get on with having cute little ‘Romanian-American babies’, which had made Sebastian laugh. After Blake and Ryan had made an appearance for a half hour with their two little girls – who had been adorable and taken to you and Sebastian right away – you hadn’t missed the look you got from your boyfriend and his friends. Later that night, once the two of you were alone for a moment Sebastian whispered in your ear that he couldn’t wait to have that with you. To go somewhere and be taking your adorable little children along, using Chace’s earlier term of ‘cute little Romanian-American babies’. It had been a little out of the blue, and mostly due to alcohol, but while most of you was on top of the world hearing that, another part of you knew you weren’t ready to settle down _that much_ quite yet. In the morning he’d wanted nothing more than to cuddle and close all the blinds, complain about being too old for this and nurse his hangover, and no other mention of ‘Romanian-American babies’ had been made since. 

Birthday dinner at his mother’s had been lovely and quiet; it was your first time meeting her and she was every bit as warm and friendly as you’d expected her to be. After teasing Sebastian endlessly for waiting so long to introduce you to her she settled in to get to know you, and the conversation never dulled the whole afternoon and evening the two of you were there. When you left it was with a huge hug, and with Mrs. Fruhauf insisting you call her Etta because anything else was too formal. On the drive back into the city Sebastian had held your hand the entire way and quietly thanked you for meeting his mother, and that it meant the world to him that the two of you got along. You could only nod and smile, knowing exactly what he meant. You’d been worrying over him meeting your parents for a month or two at that point; knowing your mother would adore Sebastian while your father would undoubtedly grouch about his field of work. Hopefully, his adorable personality would overrule that, but you hated the thought of your parents disliking Sebastian for any reason he couldn’t control because it wasn’t fair to him. Maybe you were over-worrying, but with how much Sebastian meant to you, you really couldn’t help it.

Just a month later he’d managed to surprise you; while you’d known to expect Sebastian flying out to Lancaster for your birthday, he’d organized a surprise party with your family and friends, both from home and from Broadway and Marvel; Lizzie and Scarlett even having flown out to make an appearance. You’d burst into happy tears, hugging Sebastian so tightly he teased you were going to choke him out. But the amount of time and effort he’d put into organizing the restaurant and making sure everybody was there had touched you, and you could only whisper ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ so many times. That had been the first time Sebastian met your parents, and you’d never been so relieved to hear your dad laugh and tease that you’d found a good one in all your life. He and Sebastian had laughed and joked about baseball amongst other things, and your mother could only gush about how cute he was, with those gorgeous cheekbones and stunning blue-grey eyes and aw-shucks grin of his. After eating way too much cake and having a few drinks the two of you caught a cab back to your apartment, the promise of everybody getting together for a one o’clock brunch later, and had collapsed onto your bed together, a giggling, kissing mess as you were hit once again with how lucky you were to have him. 

Thinking about it made you smile, your fingers absent-mindedly playing with the pendant necklace he’d given you for your birthday, the small diamonds framing a beautiful sapphire in a teardrop shape. You’d worn it every day since he’d given it to you. 

“I know, I know… you sure you’re okay? You’re a little… spacey, draga,” Sebastian worried, full bottom lip between his teeth. You snapped out of your little reverie, blushing slightly at the fact that you’d been so lost in your little daydream while he’d been patiently waiting for you to answer him. 

“Sorry, sorry, you know how I get after long flights,” you giggled, making him laugh at you even as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“I know babe, I know. At least you get most of the day out there – I know Lizzie’s ecstatic to be working on a project with you. And a little birdie told me they’re sticking both of you into a few episodes of the new Agents of SHIELD? To help tie everything in?” 

“Well, I’m not supposed to say…” you trailed off, the jokes of the Marvel snipers going round in your head. It was everyone’s favourite tease, that they kept their secrets by tailing and bugging everyone a la SHIELD agent style to ensure nobody leaked any information. 

“C’mon babe, I’m the new Captain America; I already heard a pretty for-sure synopsis of what they’re doing, just wanted to see if you’d heard or not,” 

“So Captain America gets special treatment hearing what everybody else is up to?” you teased, and he barked out a laugh again. You’d been giving him the gears over that since he’d got the news just a few weeks ago. The lead up had all been there, but Marvel had left just enough teasers to make it seem like Falcon could take over as well to make sure it stayed interesting.

“It’s because I can keep a secret,” he shot you a winning grin, making you laugh some more even as he cracked and began laughing as well. “But seriously, that’ll be awesome. The only problem I have with the show is that they’re too disconnected from the rest of the MCU. And they keep talking about having characters go back and forth and making appearances now but they need it to all be more intertwined before that will work. Look at what happened with Inhumans.” 

“I know babe. Maybe Cap better start throwing his weight around in those Marvel office meetings, sounds like he’s got some good ideas,” you said, sprawling out across your mattress and resting your chin on top of your hands to see better. 

“I’m just begging them not to do the Secret Empire storyline; I mean we’ve already deviated so far from there – I mean, your character wasn’t even _in_ those comics, so it wouldn’t make sense now, right?” 

“Unless they do something like that to try and put Bucky and Widow together – you know everybody’s dying to see that happen,” you grinned, and Sebastian blushed before groaning. 

“You know I regret making so many jokes about that after the second movie, that’s all I’ve heard or read online too is ‘when are Winter Soldier and Black Widow gonna get together?’ I mean yeah it’s a big part of the comics… but in all honesty I think our characters would work better together with where they’ve taken the story now. If they were gonna throw us together they should have done it right after Civil War. Put her on the run with us and let it evolve, you know? Now it won’t make sense. And I am NOT getting beat to shit by the Hulk for stealing his girlfriend,” he joked, and you couldn’t contain your laughter at the thought of Sebastian and Mark having to film a scene of the Hulk beating him up over Scarlett. 

“Now that you say it, that _would_ be pretty fun—”

“No, no, no. I’ve seen the rope rigs they did for some of the Hulk stunts when people get smacked out of the air, that does _not_ look like fun,” Sebastian cut you off, and you grinned at him, seeing that he was dead serious. In all honesty those rigs did not look fun, and you’d seen some people with massive bruises from them.

“Okay, okay, I’ll believe you,” you relented, and saw him smile. 

“Thanks babe. So, what’s Lizzie got planned for you this week?” 

“Booty Barre classes, I might die; she signed us up for three of them this week, and that’s on top of the gym workout that Don sent to Maddie for me,” you groaned, flopping face down onto your duvet while your boyfriend tried to hide his laughter. Don had been building you a few workouts over the last four months and you’d noticed a crazy difference in how your body built lean mass since then in preparation for these TV roles and knowing that just a month afterward there would be preparation for the next Marvel film, and you had a solo one to film immediately after. So rather than yo-yo a bit between all of it you’d decided to get in shape and stay that way until the big filming was done. The projects you had lined up after that didn’t require the same extensive, superhero shape that these did thank God. 

“Uh oh, gonna need me to come save you? I can even send Mackie, I’m sure he’d bust you out of Booty Barre class,” Sebastian couldn’t even say it with a straight face, and you rolled your eyes at the fact the word ‘booty’ made him giggle like a thirteen year old boy. 

“They’re fun and I love them and they keep my butt in shape but oh my god are they hard,” you groaned, and he nodded. 

“But your butt does look amazing,” he piped up, laughing at the look you shot him and knowing you couldn’t playfully swat at his shoulder with being on opposite sides of the country. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” 

“Well, your butt always looks amazing, but it’s looked especially amazing the last couple months,” he argued, and made you blush a little while he winked at you in his victory.

“Well thank Lizzie for that – those damn classes are like forty five minutes of squats,” you play-grouched, and Sebastian winced and at least had the decency to look like that sounded as bad as it sometimes felt. 

“I’ll send her a thank you note,” he joked, and then the two of you fell quiet for a few moments. 

“So, uh, my mom wants to know when you’ll be home; she wants us out for dinner sometime,” Sebastian spoke up, and you smiled. Etta had texted you a few times since meeting her to make sure all was well and wish you the best when Sebastian told her about new projects you were working on. It always brought a smile to your face to know she was rooting for you.

“Well, I think I’m done filming before you are, so just let me know when you’re back and it works and I can fly into the city,” you answered, and he nodded, pulling out his phone. 

“I think I’m back… the morning of the twenty-third. So maybe we can go the twenty-fifth or twenty-sixth? It would be nice to have a day to unpack and relax and maybe just spend a day the two of us before going?” he suggested, and you nodded. It was nice to just have a day with nothing to worry about after spending so long apart. 

“Yeah, that would be good. I can fly in late the twenty-third and we can go from there?” you suggested, and he nodded. Soon your phone was vibrating and it fell over onto the mattress, and while you reached to pick it up knew what was going on. Lizzie’s flight was due in about two hours ago so you’d expected some time for her to get through security and get to her room and settled and stuff before getting a phone call. 

“That’s Lizzie coming to steal you away?” Sebastian teased, but you could hear he was a little weary. He hated spending so much time apart, and the night of your birthday he’d tried to start a conversation about maybe doing more than having a few changes of clothes staying at each other’s apartments. You’d shut the conversation down for the night, because both of you had been drinking and it wasn’t a drunken kind of conversation, but you’d wondered if maybe you’d done so too harshly because he had yet to bring it back up. He tiptoed through conversations that edged too closely too it, and it had taken you a while to catch on to it, but it made you feel bad every time you caught it happening now.

There was no reason to not be thinking about one of you possibly spending more time in the other’s city; you were going to have been dating for a year in just a few weeks, but the thought of moving still terrified you. As much as the thought of babies and all of that did, even though you didn’t want it to be scary and you’d never really thought of it being that way before. Those things had never truly scared you, but now? Facing all of that as being very real in a not-so-far future was enough to make your heart pound in your chest. 

“Yeah, sorry babe. You want me to call when we get back? What time will it be over there?” you asked, knowing Lizzie wanted to go and wander around and go for lunch and stuff like that. Have the girls day that the two of you had so desperately needed since you’d only seen each other a handful of times since filming had ended. 

“It’s seven o’clock now; if you give me a call by ten? If not, just shoot me a text, but I’ll probably be asleep; I’ve got a six am call time tomorrow and that’s gonna suck,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair again. 

“Okay, I’ll try to give you a call before then, all right?” 

“Sounds good babe. You guys have fun, okay?” 

“I always do with Lizzie,” you teased him softly, and saw him smile, eyes crinkling slightly as he did so. 

“Love you,” 

“Love you too Baz,” you told him, before he reached over and then disconnected the Facetime call. With that you called Lizzie back, and heard her excited voice letting you know she wasn’t just on the way but was already at your building and waiting to be let in so the two of you could get going. 

“Sorry, sorry! I was on the phone with Baz so I’m not quite ready,” you sighed, letting her in after having buzzed her up. She waved you off, insisting she could scroll Facebook and Instagram and otherwise keep herself occupied while you finished getting ready. 

“So, all’s good in paradise?” she asked, and you grinned, leaning out the bathroom door even as you put up the top layers of your hair in order to get ready to curl it. 

“Things are great; I mean, it would be better if we weren’t on different continents at the moment, but that’s a minor detail,” you told her, and soon she was leaning against the bathroom door to visit while you did your hair. 

“Ugh that must be so difficult! But I mean, what can you do right? Don’t want him passing up jobs he’s excited for or you doing the same just for the sake of staying close, unfortunately. The joys of all this that nobody tells you about,” she huffed, and you nodded, careful not to burn your finger on the curling iron as you did so. 

“Yeah, exactly. But otherwise we’re good; I still can’t believe he organized all you guys for my birthday,” you smiled with a sigh and she nodded, eyes lit up.   
“I know! I can’t believe he got everybody to keep it hush hush so long! I thought for sure somebody would blab!” 

“He can be persuasive when he wants to be,” you giggled, and let down another layer of hair to do. “It was so nice of him to do all that; I wish I’d thought of doing the same for him earlier, but Chace and Charlie already had most of his party planned by the time I contacted them about it, so I just helped where I could.”

“And I know he appreciates that too Claire,” Lizzie insisted with a hand on your shoulder before she finger-combed out a section of hair you’d missed with the iron and held it out to you so you could fix it. “So… any new talks of moving things along?” 

“Lizzie…” 

“I’m just curious! You guys are always at each other’s places… I guess I’m just wondering if you’ve had any talks about it. You know I want a ballet buddy in the city,” she was trying so hard to be nonchalant about it that you were immediately tipped off. You finished curling the last piece of hair before letting the top pieces down and analyzing it to try and figure out how to keep the kind of relaxed beachy-wave look you were going for before calling her on it. 

“So… sounds like somebody’s been talking to you about it or fishing for advice on it… spill,” 

“Shit,” she sighed, smacking her forehead before giving you a slightly apologetic look. “He just… wanted me to feel it out a little. Claire it’s just because he loves you and doesn’t want to scare you when he does ask. He, uh, told me you kind of shut it down hard at your birthday.” 

“I didn’t… shit. I hadn’t meant to shut him down on it Liz… I just didn’t want it to be a drunk decision, you know?” you mumbled, before taking the curling iron to a chunk of hair and wrapping it around. Guilt was slowly swirling in your stomach again, and you felt awful knowing your boyfriend thought you’d put the brakes on hard about moving your relationship any further. The blonde girl nodded in agreement, her eyes carefully on you the entire time, before she put a hand on your shoulder. “I just… I know we’ve been dating almost a year, and I know it’s a step we could take and maybe should take… but it just… it still scares me, a lot. And then I had Chace and him making comments at his birthday about babies and I just—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa – babies?” she gasped, and you nodded before letting the newly made curl drop down. 

“Yeah; Blake and Ryan brought their little girls to stop in and say hi for a little bit. James is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen; she like, latched on to Baz and it was adorable and wonderful and then wanted me to hold her. He’s amazing with kids and it’s so hot to see him with them. It was great, but I don’t… I’m not ready for that Liz. I’m really… I think I’m terrified Baz is. Seeing how happy he was playing with those two little girls? Even though they interrupted the drinking and shenanigans of his birthday party? It was written all over his face,” you quietly admitted, wishing you weren’t being such a spaz about it as a few tears pooled up in your eyes. You knew Sebastian wanted those things, knew it had been part of what drove he and Rita apart in the end, and it had been terrorizing your brain for a while. It wasn’t that you didn’t want those things, or didn’t want them with him; you just didn’t want them _now_. 

“Oh girly,” Lizzie pulled you in for a hug, hand on your wrist to make sure she knew where the hot iron was at all times. “That’s a lot. I totally get why it’s all freaking you out, that’s a lot to take in in a short period of time. And it’s only been a year – it’s not like you guys have dated for several years and all of that’s really on the table in a more sooner than later way.” 

“And I just… I mean it’s not like I can’t see myself having all that with Sebastian, just… not for another like six, seven years, maybe at the least. I’m not ready for all of that, and I know… I know it’s part of why he and Rita split and…” 

“And if the two of you move in together, all of that is the next logical step, because we all know the marriage thing isn’t a necessary step as far as having a family goes for him. So if you delay moving in, you delay that?” Lizzie quietly asked. You’d never coherently put your thoughts together that way, but maybe subconsciously that’s exactly what you were doing. That and the knowledge that the last two people you’d moved in with had ended up breaking your heart and you couldn’t stand the thought of losing Sebastian maybe had been guiding your actions and thought process. The guilt got worse, wondering if you were just delaying him thinking about those things by not wanting to move and that made you felt even worse because what kind of person did that?

“I… maybe? I’d never thought… but I mean that makes sense… and I just… I don’t want to lose him Liz but I can’t give all this up yet either,” you whispered, before letting out a groan and swiping at the few tears that had managed to spring free from your eyes. Lizzie hugged you tight again, before pulling the iron from your hand and moving to finish doing your hair for you. 

“I wish I knew what to tell you Claire, I really do, but you need to talk to him about it. All of it. Just like you said to me; it’s not that you don’t want those things with him, you just don’t want them now. And if you want to be married before you have babies – regardless of whose they are – you tell him that. If you aren’t ready you aren’t ready, and if he is? The two of you will figure it out, okay? But Claire he loves you, I know if you aren’t ready he’ll wait for you. Like I said, it’s not like the two of you have been together for years and everybody’s holding their breath for the announcement,” she softly reassured you, and you leaned against her for a moment in thanks before letting her finish your hair. A few eye drops later for redness, with some eye liner and mascara on, you deemed yourself ready to go, slipping into wedge sandals that went with your outfit better than your flip flops did. Paparazzi were just enough of a concern around here that you always felt you needed to dress nicely in case you were photographed. 

“So, we’re going to get lunch, and then shop till we drop, sound good? Steve Madden opened a new shop and I want some new shoes, so we are going to shop until we can’t think of anything else,” Lizzie decided, and you nodded, glad for her support and her understanding that sometimes you just needed to be distracted so you couldn’t overthink things. 

“Sounds good. You know there’s always room in my closet for more shoes,” you teased, and made her laugh. 

“That should go on your demands list; he’s going to need a place with a closet just for your shoes if he even _thinks_ he’s going to get you to move to New York,” she cackled, and you couldn’t help but join in even if it sounded ridiculous. You didn’t have _that_ many pairs; you had a lot, but not that many. 

“Ha, ha, ha – you’re so funny,” you rolled your eyes and got into the backseat of the Lyft car with her, even as she rattled off a street address to the driver of the restaurant the two of you were going to that was walking distance to all of Lizzie’s favourite LA shopping. 

“It’s why you love me,” she chorused, making you laugh some more as she began to plan out the shopping route for the afternoon, your mind officially eased for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long! I had anticipated this chapter being out last week but things got a little crazy! Hope you like it!


	28. Chapter 28

“And… cut! That’s a wrap for today guys! Good work!” the director called, and you and Lizzie both groaned and pulled yourselves up to a seated position. When they’d said the two of you were getting spots on the new SHIELD spin-off, you hadn’t figured you’d be getting your ass handed to you in a bunch of fight scenes. Seeing as SHIELD had supposedly fallen with the events of the Winter Soldier movie, having been secretly rebuilt by Coulson for Fury, there was some discord between the agents and your characters, only having recognized the spy agency for everything that had gone wrong. They’d wanted Sebastian for a quick cameo too, but with him being so busy and out in France it just hadn’t worked out. It was possible they would work a small one in later in the season but it wasn’t a for sure. In the mean time, you were covered in fake dirt and blood and your back was killing you. A person could only be flipped over so many times before they started to feel it.

“Oh my god… I need a massage,” Lizzie groaned, echoing your exact thoughts. It was like she was in your head sometimes.

“Yes – I’ll call and book one for both of us,” you agreed, not leaving any room to argue as Chloe and Clark came and gave you each a hand to your feet. 

“Ugh I wish my arms looked like yours,” Chloe fake-pouted as she’d watched your bicep move as you pulled. Don had you doing some pretty impressive weights for the kind of muscle definition you were working on. 

“Dude, call Don Saladino – Baz got me working with him and he’s insane good; this is months of zombie arms though,” you teased, and she laughed before the two of you were chatting away about fitness routines as all four of you left the set and headed for the makeup and wardrobe trailers to get changed into your own clothes again. Quake was a character that Marvel was hoping to pull into the movies, as long as they could get a better flow between film and television going.

“I am so sore this is unbelievable, and we haven’t even shot all of the first episode yet,” you pouted, flopping into your chair even as your makeup artist came over. Your bag was tucked beneath the cupboard, but it was out of reach at the moment. Once you’d grabbed it and went fishing through it you let out an exasperated sigh – your phone was nowhere to be found.

“You’re telling me,” Lizzie agreed, pulling her phone out of its’ drawer and checking it. “By the way, call your boy toy – he’s getting worried about you.” 

“I can’t till we’re back at my place, I must have forgot it at home,” you sighed. “Please just let him know that? I’ll call him once I’m back before I book us those massages. Chloe, Lil, wanna come with?” 

You called down the trailer for them and got a couple of pouts and no’s as they had previous commitments. After giving you some ribbing about it you also invited Clark because he was complaining about being left out before turning around with one of the girls’ wigs on and asking if he could go along now. It was enough to crack both of you up, and you asked if he would do it again so Lizzie could film it and you could post it to Instagram, which, because Clark Gregg is amazing, he did, somehow even better the second time around, and you hardly ended the video before you all cracked up laughing. 

“Oh my God – greatest thing ever,” you told him as Lizzie signed out of Instagram to let you sign in and post it – also sending a quick DM to Sebastian that you’d forgotten your phone and that as soon as you were back you would call him before logging back out and handing Lizzie her phone back. She snorted when she watched it again, and quickly liked it and reposted it because it was too cute not to. 

“Well, see you guys tomorrow, right?” Lizzie called into the trailer, and after getting a yes and a goodbye from everyone the two of you left, having already called a car to come take you to the apartment building you were in, because that’s where Lizzie had left her stuff that morning. 

“There it is! Jesus; it must not have gone in my bag like I thought this morning,” you sighed as you picked your phone up off of the floor and checked the screen. Sure enough, a couple missed calls from Sebastian several hours ago, and two texts to call him when you got the chance, and while Lizzie went to claim your bathroom for a shower you Googled the time difference, which made you hesitate to call him back. It was like three in the morning over there and you knew he’d been working long days. Instead you sent him a text, apologizing about forgetting your phone and hoping he’d had a good day and hadn’t been worried before you set it down on the kitchen counter to find something to drink. Moments later it was ringing, and you connected the call. 

“Hey Baz, I’m so sorry – I hope I didn’t wake you up?” 

“Hey draga – no we’re doing a night shoot for some scenes so I’m up anyway. Sorry for getting worried, but you always have your phone,” he teased and hid a small yawn. You knew he’d probably gotten up early and had worked straight through into this night shoot, likely without an afternoon nap to recharge. 

“I’m sorry, I think it slipped when I thought I put it in my bag because it was on the floor when we got back,” you explained. “So, other than sounding exhausted, today was okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah today was fun; we did two car chases which was awesome,” he told you, and you chuckled at his almost childlike enthusiasm for these kinds of things. “It’s going to look super badass when all is said and done.” 

“That’s awesome! All I did today was get my butt kicked,” you groaned, hopping up to sit on the counter while you opened your water bottle and took a sip. “Apparently, Quake and I don’t see eye to eye on things.” 

“Ooh, interesting stuff draga. Got any big plans for tonight?” 

“Lizzie and I are going to go get massages I think because we’re both so sore,” you explained, and heard her holler from down the hall that she’d booked couples massages because then you each saved ten bucks. 

“What was that?” 

“She said she booked us in for a couples’ massage so we each save ten dollars,” you relayed the information to him which had him laughing, hard. 

“So I need to worry about Lizzie stealing you out from under my nose, eh? Couples massages, booty barre classes together, going for dinner… goddamn it you should’ve gave me a heads up,” he teased, and you laughed hard enough you had to lean against the fridge to keep your balance. 

“Oh yeah Baz, we’ve got a real spark going here. Mostly it’s because we like discounts on things,” you drawled back, making him chuckle some more. 

“Well, I won’t commit to doing one of those classes with you, but the gym is doing some cool boxing bootcamp classes in March we could try together, is that a foot in the right direction?” he suggested, and you thought on it for a second. It was something you liked watching; there were a couple boxing classes in the gym that always looked interesting but intimidating whenever you were there.

“I think that would be fun, actually, but I mean, might depend when our filming starts and stuff too right?” 

“I’ll check out the details with main office and if it works I’ll sign us up, how’s that?” he asked, yawning once again. 

“Sounds great babe. So, enjoying any French culture yet?” you asked, and heard him sigh. 

“I saw the Eiffel tower out my car window this morning, does that count?” he asked, and you said you’d allow it. “Otherwise, just whatever room service I can order that I can either pronounce or google translate. It’s really quite sad.” 

“Maybe our next mini-vacation can be there to make up for it,” you softly suggested, knowing he hated being in such wonderful places and not getting to see any of them. You knew one of his favourite places was Rome, and also knew that both trips he’d made there had been with his ex, whether that had influenced his feelings for the place or not. It was a place on your bucket list too, and he’d offered more than once for your next little vacation together to be there because he actually knew how to find a few of the landmarks. 

“That would be great, babe. Think, we can go for a romantic boat ride, see the Eiffel tower all lit up…” he was soon listing things that made you sigh.

“That would be incredible,” you agreed, and heard him chuckle. 

“Well once things calm down we’ll start planning it, okay? I’m so sorry draga but they need me back on set here,” he apologized, which you immediately shrugged off. He was still at work, and you understood that completely. 

“It’s okay puiut; take care. I love you,” you told him, and smiled hearing him say it back before you hung up the call. 

“You two are adorable. Claire I know we just talked about this, but in ten years when you two have babies I will be your nanny just to get to see the cuteness that is the two of you put together,” Lizzie told you as she walked out of the bathroom, wet hair combed and braided. You groaned and rolled your eyes at her before hopping off of the counter and putting your half-drank water bottle back in the fridge. 

“You’re ridiculous,” 

“But I’m right. You two are almost too cute for real life. Have you guys talked about…” 

“No, with nine hours difference we kind of always have hit-and-miss conversations with our schedules. It’s usually short and sweet like this so we haven’t talked about it. I figured at least once he’s back in New York it’ll be easier to sneak in time for full fledged conversations.”

“Good, good. Okay, now let’s go – the spa is calling my name girl and I am going to eat them out of cucumber slices while we’re there,” she announced, sliding into your spare pare of flip flops to avoid having to wear her cute little kitten heels. You shook your head laughing at her, and after double-checking this time that your phone was actually in your purse the two of you left and caught a cab to the spa that Lizzie had called and booked your massages at. Los Angeles’ beautiful, palm tree-lined streets went by, and you caught several glimpses of the ocean through your window as the cab driver took you to wherever it was you were going. You rolled the window down a little to let the warm, salty air waft in, and sighed as you sat back against your seat. The sun was just starting to think about setting over the ocean, one of your favourite parts about being out here. 

“It’s so beautiful like this, isn’t it?” Lizzie asked, sounding just as pleased with the view as you were, and you nodded. 

“Yeah it is; when I was… when I came out here with Chris it was pretty much our favourite thing to do. Sit and watch the sun set over the water,” you felt your mood dampen realizing that one of your favourite memories of this city was with him, but soon pushed it away. If you guys were able to become friends again, it wasn’t like it was a memory you hated to have associated with him; it just made it sting, a little bit. 

“And to think, this is winter weather – this isn’t even the hottest or best time to see it and it’s still so incredible. Friday when we have late call on Saturday we’ll take a car out to the beach and watch the sun go down – it’s always so beautiful to watch from that close to the water,” Lizzie offered, and you smiled and nodded, grateful for her yet again as she caught on to exactly what had happened. “You guys ever talk about it?” 

“No, we haven’t. I wasn’t ready to… then Baz said that Chris wanted to talk to me at the premiere’s after party, but that was when we were trying to leave… and then we just haven’t really seen each other since and nobody’s made an effort, I guess,” you shrugged, not sure what else could be said on the matter. Lizzie nodded, and moments later the car was slowing and pulling up to park at the curb. After paying the driver and apologizing to him for having to listen to the two of you gossiping away you got out, stretching slightly before eyeing up the beautiful and modern building in front of you, trying to get a feel for what the spa would be like inside.

“So, all bad thoughts out,” Lizzie instructed, and while it was silly you indulged her, taking a deep breath and letting it out long and slow. “And good energy in. We came to feel better and we will do that!” 

With that the two of you walked in, only getting a slightly odd look from the receptionist about your couples’ massage package when your picture was on the cover of a gossip magazine on their waiting room table, holding hands with Sebastian while he kissed the top of your head and you looked decidedly couple-esque. The two of you kept in your laughter over it until you were in the locker room changing into the robes that the spa gave out to guests. Then you lost it laughing over how absurd and ironic it was to have to try and ignore the fact the two of you were claiming a couples’ massage for the deal while the evidence of it not being so was like ten feet away. Thankfully, the receptionist couldn’t _deny_ the two of you the couple’s package, and with cheeky grins the two of you held hands as you walked down the hall to the room you’d been assigned. 

“Girl, to heck with boys. Let’s just get an apartment together and have a bunch of dogs and go to the spa every weekend. That sounds so much less stressful,” Lizzie sighed, the two of you lying still and letting your facemasks dry as the two aestheticians stepped out for a few minutes. You couldn’t hold in the giggle at her words, and peaked over at her. 

“I think your current roommate might object,” you teased, and she snorted, before you saw her patting around on the little table between the tables and grabbing more of the cucumber slices meant to cover peoples eyes, popping one into her mouth. 

“So we get a three bedroom place. You and Jess got along great,” 

“Lizzie you’re something,” you allowed, smiling widely as you relaxed back into the table. A little girl time was something you’d definitely needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like the new chapter! Sorry Baz isn't really there still, but it's all for a reason! Let me know what you think!


	29. Chapter 29

“Claire, Claire don’t panic; I’m so sorry,” Lizzie immediately smothered you the moment you walked into the back banquet room at the restaurant, which had been cut off and reserved for cast, and their family and friends. It was a half-season wrap party, mostly being thrown because you and Lizzie were done filming with the crew and everybody wanted to be able to hang out and properly say goodbye. There were several people not from the show there as well; a couple other actors who were in the area who had worked on various projects with everyone else. Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his wife were there, and you almost thought you’d seen Scott Evans walking toward the bar when you’d came in. 

“Sorry for what? Lizzie is everything okay?” you asked, and she let out a long breath, basically herding you toward a back table and blocking you from everyone’s view while blocking everyone else from yours.

“I was so stupid! I was talking to Chris about having been out here and I felt shitty for not even stopping in and saying hello,” she worried her lip. You’d told her a million and one times that you had zero issue with her and Chris still being friends or hanging out and hated that she felt guilty every time they seemed to talk. “He asked what I was doing tonight and I said I was busy with a wrap party, apparently someone invited Scott and Scott had asked him to tag along. Chris had said no then changed his mind after he must’ve realized we’d be at the same party and now he’s here and Sebastian's not and it’s all my fault.”

“Lizzie, Lizzie it’s okay; it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong. He’d already been invited; it’s whatever and it’s fine. I’ll manage,” you insisted, but she shook her head. It was obviously eating away at her pretty badly, her eyes wide with concern.

“He wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t said anything Claire! Sebastian’s not going to be very happy,” she worried, and you pulled her in for a quick hug. She was such a good friend, always worrying over you and trying to make sure you were okay, even if she didn’t have to worry quite so much. But it was a quality you definitely loved about her.

“I know, but I’m going to call him and talk to him in about fifteen minutes because that’s when he should be through customs and security at the airport and I’ll talk to him about it, okay? It’ll be fine. If shit gets awkward I’ll say goodbye and go home; I can use Baz as an out. We haven’t Facetimed in like three days and I miss him like crazy,” you explained, and saw Lizzie deflate. 

“I don’t want you to have to miss out on this because I opened my mouth,” she mumbled, but you hugged her again until she relaxed. It took a few moments, but finally she got there, and you hoped she wouldn’t keep worrying and worrying over this. Realistically, the game plan _had_ been to just hang around for a couple hours and then duck out to Facetime with your boyfriend. Not that anyone else knew that, though.

“I’m not, I promise. I’ll just… kind of avoid him until I can talk to Baz and gauge the situation, and then if we talk, we talk; I’m not going to be rude about it. We’ll figure it out and things will be fine, I promise,” you insisted, and she nodded finally. 

“So… a drink then? I can help run interference until you talk to your boy toy,” she offered, making you snort. Why she’d started calling Sebastian that you had no idea but it was kind of hilarious. 

A familiar dark head of hair was turned toward you as you walked toward the bar, and while you were trying not to stare couldn’t help a little tiny bit. But it didn’t make sense; surely Sebastian would have said _something_. You shook it off, figuring you were probably just imagining things; realistically there were a lot of dark haired, tall guys in the movie business anyway. It just would have been nice to have another friendly face in your corner with everything. 

“Claire!” 

You let out a squeak as Chace picked you up, your feet coming right off the floor as he hugged you, making you laugh while Lizzie looked a little petrified. It _had_ been Sebastian’s friend that you’d seen, and you squeezed back before he set you back on the floor. Beyond thankful for his presence there, even if you could tell Lizzie wasn’t sure whether to call for help or not. With your feet planted firmly back on the ground, however, she didn’t seem quite so worried. 

“I didn’t know you would be here!” 

“I didn’t know you were in California!” you shot back, and he laughed, slinging an arm over your shoulders and joining you and Lizzie on your way to the bar.

“It was kind of a last minute thing; came for an audition and they gave me the part and wanted to start filming ASAP so I’ve been out for three days,” he explained, and you nodded. “So, what are you doing out here?” 

“Filming for a TV show; we both made appearances,” you gestured to Lizzie beside you who looked a little bit confused. “I’m not sure if you guys have met; Chace this is Lizzie, Lizzie this is Chace.” 

“Oh! Sebastian’s friend right?” she asked, realization on her face before offering her hand for him to shake as he nodded. 

“I’m a big fan; loved Wind River,” he told her with a charming smile, nearly making her blush as you all started visiting and catching up, ordering a couple of drinks. Chace checked his phone and grinned before sliding it back into his pocket and then trying to nonchalantly rejoin the conversation, which instantly made you a little suspicious. 

“Chace… come on…” 

“No! It’s nothing. It’s… there might be a girl,” he finally admitted, and you let out a happy squeal before hugging him. You’d been teasing him about finding a girl for a little while – always playfully, never pushing, and usually only when Sebastian made a joke first – and had even joked about setting him up with Lizzie. He was such a sweetheart it had astounded you that he _wasn’t_ locked down already. 

“Finally! Come on, give me some details,” you whined, making him laugh and rustle up your hair as he chuckled and ordered drinks for the two of you, waiting for Lizzie to give the bartender her order as well and then pulling out his card. Both of you argued but, with his long arms, he managed to hold the two of you back and give the bartender the card to charge the drinks to. 

“Stinker,” you grumbled, making him shoot you a hundred watt smile before taking a drink. 

“You love me anyways,” he insisted, before the three of you sat down. You knew he understood he didn’t have to give up any information, that you were teasing for the sake of making him laugh, but he indulged you anyways with a sly grin. Apparently he’d just met this girl, and so far things were going good; they were texting back and forth, that sort of thing, and when he was back in New York they were going to go for dinner. 

“I’m so happy for you! I hope it goes well,” you told him, putting your hand on his arm and smiling. 

“Thanks Claire. So… a little birdy told me somebody is really hoping you might start spending some more time out our way,” he asked, and you smiled even though you knew it was a tiny bit forced. Undoubtedly Lizzie was making gestures behind your head for him to cease and desist, but it was Chace and he meant the best. He’d told you – several times – he wanted you in New York more often, because apparently you brought his house parties up to the next level; after bringing dip with you that all the boys had drooled over and devoured, you were a ‘necessity’ for a good party. And he’d snuck in that seeing Sebastian so happy didn’t hurt either, which had made you laugh, because according to Chace your party-hosting and feeding skills were the main draw. When Sebastian had invited a bunch of the guys over to watch a basketball game you’d made some snack food up ahead of time before heading out to do some shopping and pick up more beer – and coincidentally getting to avoid some of their antics – and came back to hugs from all of them over you going out of your way and keeping them well fed. Since then Chace had been nearly relentless in his teasing. 

“I… we haven’t really talked about it. He tried to bring it up at my birthday but we were drinking and…” 

“And Seb’s a shithead for bringing up stuff with liquid courage; you forget I’ve known the guy a long time,” Chace laughed, arm still comfortably around your shoulders as he did so, bringing a tiny smile to your face. “But I mean… if it’s not wanting to be in the city – which hurts my feelings, I’ll have you know – he’d go to Lancaster. If you asked, he’d do it. In a heartbeat. I’ll never forgive either of you, but he’ll do it.” 

Your jaw nearly hit the table and you could tell Chace knew it, because he was surprised by your reaction. It had never crossed your mind for Sebastian to move to Lancaster with you, because it didn’t make sense for either of you work-wise. At some point you’d either have to be spending most of your time in New York or LA or somewhere that handled castings and had offices and stuff. 

“Did that never cross your mind?” he asked, and you shook your head. 

“No, because it wouldn’t make sense. I mean, I know eventually I’ll have to leave there for somewhere that works better with work and all,” you shrugged, and he nodded. 

“I see, so it’s really the moving _in_ part that’s getting you?” you stiffened up, and he felt it before he was pulling you into a side hug. You caught Lizzie dragging her finger across her throat in a ‘kill the conversation’ attempt and laughed at her even as she blushed. 

“It’s not… it’s…” 

“You could always get your own place? Hey, we can be roomies! I just don’t want to hear the two of you at night,” he teased, unknowingly making you choke on your drink a little bit as you sputtered. Sometimes he was too blunt for his own good. 

“Chace!”

“You guys can’t keep bugging them about moving in together and babies!” Lizzie burst, and you let your forehead drop to the table. That wasn’t the kind of save Lizzie had been going for either. The look of horror on her features told you she’d hoped for something a lot smoother to come out and come to your rescue. Chace looked petrified as well.

“I… shit. Shit. Claire you know I’m teasing right; Seb told me that when you were out a long time ago you’d talked and joked about it so I just thought… I didn’t realize it was a touchy subject. I’m so sorry,” 

“It’s okay, Chace, I know you weren’t… weren’t like pushing it or anything, I’m just… I’m just not there yet and I can’t seem to stop stressing over it,” you sighed, and he hugged you tighter, rubbing your back slightly and you were so very glad that Sebastian’s friends had been so accommodating to you too. Chace had taken you under wing the first time you’d been introduced, and you were lucky enough to be able to call him a friend of yours as well.

“I’m sorry, that’s still… that was awful of me to do. I just, you guys would make cute kids! That’s all I meant – and if Seb had given me _any_ indication that I shouldn’t have joked about it I’d never have said a word, I swear,” he continued, and you leaned your head on his shoulder for a moment. Chace really was too sweet for his own good sometimes. 

“I know, I just, couldn’t really _say_ anything about it because everyone was there and then Baz made a comment about it too, and—”

“Whoa, _Seb_ is making baby comments? Like not just the whole you two talking about both wanting kids _someday_?” he asked, and you nodded, face hot and flushed as you took a few sips of your drink in an attempt to calm it down. “Your Seb? _Our_ Seb?” 

“The one and only,” you nodded, and said hi to a few of the crewmembers who stopped by the table quickly while making their rounds. Chace gracefully nodded and smiled along, keeping the conversation on pause until they were out of hearing range again.

“I just… can we be straight with each other for a second? Like, Sebastian will never hear a word of it straight with each other?” Chace asked, and you swallowed hard, not sure if it was a good thing or not before nodding. 

“Do you want to have kids? With him?” 

“Well, yeah, one day. Just… not right away, not for a while. And it’s not because of him, it’s… it’s me,” you quietly admitted, and he nodded. 

“It’s okay – Claire I’m how much older than you and _I’m_ not ready for that either,” he chuckled, helping to relax you a bit. “But you guys really gotta talk about this stuff, okay? I know it’s hard and shit while he’s so far away and all, but…” 

“He’s talked to you about it,” you stated, and Chace let his gaze drop to his drink, having been caught red handed. The pink starting to flush his cheeks was giving him away, and you closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose slightly to ward off the pending stress headache that was slowly working its’ way in. You and Sebastian hadn’t even had a proper conversation about _moving_ and he was talking to his friends about… about having kids? And now you’d put poor Chace in an awkward spot because he’d outed himself but didn’t want to say anything more, understandably.

“I… I shouldn’t say, I mean, he wants to talk to you about it…” 

“Chace please?” 

“I’ll go get the next round,” Lizzie offered, nearly running from the table as Chace squared his shoulders a bit. She disappeared easily into the party, and you looked around, seeing groups of people happily visiting away, drinks and food in hand, a few people even dancing. Nobody else seemed to have anything to worry about at that moment except having fun. Here the two of you were having a massive deep conversation without one of the main players it involved. Awesome.

“He… Claire he loves you. He wants you guys to move in together and settle down and have a family, all of it. Seb sees that future very, _very_ clearly with you,” Chace explained, and you felt your mouth run dry a little bit. You wanted all that, you knew you did and you loved Sebastian, but something just felt… 

“But he wants that sooner than later, I’m assuming?” you supplied, and Chace let out a sigh and finally nodded. He downed the rest of his drink then, probably as much to buy himself time before answering as for the extra courage to keep talking.

“That’s all I can say, Claire, really it is because you two need to talk and he’ll kill me for even saying this. I’m breaking the bro code right now,” he teased, lightening the mood a little bit. The party was in full swing around the two of you, but you weren’t really in the mood for a party. Hadn’t really been before it started but more and more you wanted to go back to the apartment and relax with a glass or two of wine, wishing Sebastian was in the same city. Even though all of this had to do with the two of you, you wanted to curl up against him and have him tell you everything would be fine, even if you didn’t actually talk anything out or clear anything up.

“I’m practically a bro for you,” you teased back, making him laugh and nod. “But I appreciate it, Chace. I really do.” 

“I know, now we need to change the subject and have some fun, all right? This is supposed to be a big night for you two,” he decided, and you nodded as Lizzie came back with drinks. You thanked her, and soon you and Chace were teasing her relentlessly about trying to set her up with any of the single guys currently at the party that ‘met the standards’ you and Chace had. It was getting hilarious; a welcome distraction from the earlier conversation, and then you remembered you were going to call Sebastian. You excused yourself from the table, and when it went straight to voicemail you thought it was weird. Maybe he had forgotten to take his phone off of airplane mode when he’d landed, and so you left a message and hung up, knowing he’d call the minute he could, before joining your friends once again. 

“Come on, he’s cute! What’s wrong with that one?” Chace demanded, making Lizzie laugh almost uncontrollably as she shook her head. The fact Chace was this invested in finding her someone was hilarious in itself, and you snapped a picture of the two of them before walking back to your seat and making yourself comfortable.

“No! Just no! Claire help me; he’s killing me here!” she pleaded, and laughed when Chace made a pouting face at her. 

“Hey, Claire,” you froze as you looked up, seeing Scott on the other side of the table, looking surprised to see you. It immobilized you for a moment, mostly because you didn’t know what to expect from him. The two of you hadn’t spoken since things started going south with you and Chris, and well, he was Chris’s brother so you’d expected him to be hard core on Chris’s side to the point of not really talking to you either.

“Scott, hey; it’s nice to see you,” you nodded, and got a smile that looked as anxious as you felt. Finally you stood, and after an awkward pause he pulled you in for a quick hug. Both of you relaxed slightly; you’d gotten along great with Chris’s brother every time the two of you had seen each other. 

“You too, I’m so sorry about everything,” he told you, hands on your shoulders in a rather brotherly way. 

“Thanks Scott, it means a lot. I hope you’re doing well?” 

“Yeah, I’m good; been working on a new show, kind of the same old. What’s got you out here in LA?” he asked, and soon the two of you launched into a catch up conversation, the same ease setting in that had been every other time you’d seen him, and you relaxed slightly. 

“I actually just wanted to apologize,” he said, making you snap back to attention even though you had no idea where this was coming from. 

“What? Scott what would you have to apologize for?” 

“Bringing my brother. I hadn’t realized it was _your_ wrap party and, I mean, I know you guys don’t talk or anything. I wouldn’t have offered if I’d known, I really hope I haven’t ruined your night,” he said, and you pulled him in for another hug. 

“You didn’t Scott, I mean it. Don’t worry about it; we’re adults, I’m sure we can act like it,” you assured him, and he hugged you back tightly, glad for your acceptance. It wasn’t like you could be angry with him for inviting his brother to something. 

“I… still. I felt like shit when he called me saying Lizzie had told him about the party and that he was going to come along. I didn’t put two and two together until I saw you walk in,” he grimaced, and you shrugged. 

“Minor details. So, tell me about this show!” you urged him, and after a moment Scott joined the three of you at the table. “Scott, this is Chace Crawford, and I’m positive you know Lizzie. Chace, this is Scott Evans.” 

You saw the strange look Chace shot you, and knew you’d have to do some explaining when all was said and done, but thankfully he let it be until later. It was nice to sit and visit; Chloe, Lil, Clark, and the rest of the cast coming and saying hello and visiting for a bit here and there and interrupting, but in all it made the time fly by. 

“Claire?” you felt someone lightly tap your shoulder and jumped, not having expected it. Lizzie had carefully re-arranged her expression while Chace did no such thing, nearly glaring over your shoulder and angrily taking a drink. Scott sighed, and after seeing an apology all over his blue eyes you knew who it had to be. As if Chace’s expression hadn’t given it away completely before all of that. 

“Chris, hi,” you managed a tiny smile, turning to look up at him. While the beard was his usual look outside of filming, he looked rough. Worse than he had at London; there were circles beneath his eyes and he just emanated a tired, worn-out kind of energy. It was nothing like how Chris usually was.

“Hi, I… Can I talk to you?” he quietly asked, picking the label off of the beer bottle he held, needing to fidget somehow. You looked to Chace quickly, and after a moment he gave you a minute nod. He was your reference point for what your boyfriend was okay with, and gladly seemed to understand you wanted his input in Sebastian’s absence. You stood and followed Chris a few feet away, close enough that you didn’t feel too uncomfortable; Chace, Scott and Lizzie were right there, but they wouldn’t be able to hear over the music and conversations. 

“So, uh… how have you been?” you asked, and he swallowed hard, eyes down on the bottle in his hand. 

“All right, I guess. Finished up a new film just a couple weeks ago,” he offered, and you nodded, feeling terrible about just how goddamn awkward the two of you were around each other. You’d never experienced this with him, even right off the bat the two of you had connected almost immediately and effortlessly.  
“That’s good; congratulations,” you said, and he nodded. 

“So, um… what about you?” 

“Been pretty busy; shot an indie film right after the London and Shanghai premieres, then took a bit of time off for training and stuff, then did a guest appearance for one show and now just finished up filming on this,” you answered, feeling a little long winded for doing so. 

“That’s awesome; I’m happy for you. You and…?” 

“Yeah, yeah we’re good. He was just shooting a new project in France the past two and a half months, then he’s got reads for a new show next week,” you explained, filling Chris in on something that normally – before all this shit had happened – he would know. 

“Wow, he must be excited,” 

“He really is. He’s had his eye on this script for a long time,” you agreed, and fell into awkward silence again. 

“I just… Fuck. Claire I’m so, so—”

“Chris…” 

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he choked out the words, sounding broken and small and nearly breaking your heart. His shoulders slumped down, highlighting the fact that he hadn’t been keeping up the extreme fitness he’d had to in order to play Steve Rogers, now that he was no longer holding that mantel, but somehow it just seemed… wrong. Like Chris hadn’t just stopped working for the character but had stopped taking care of himself a bit. He looked a little thin, his skin kind of pale even though he lived under the LA sun. All of it screamed at you that something wasn’t right. 

But it wasn’t your place to step in and fix him, and you knew that. 

“I—”

“Claire I mean it; I don’t… I can’t _believe_ I was so stupid and hurt you like that,” he told you, finally looking at you. Tears were welling up in his eyes, and you felt your sharp intake of breath. Chris was very not okay. He was also a little drunk, again, it seemed, which only amplified what he was going through.

“Chris…” 

“I get it; I hate me too,” he whispered, before his eyes dropped back down. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Claire, I just… I had to apologize. I can’t stand knowing you hate me and I didn’t do anything to try and say I was sorry.” 

“Chris I don’t hate you,” you insisted, and he swallowed hard, squeezing his eyes shut tight. 

“You do. You should. I fucking hate myself for it,” he told you, the words coming out sharp and harsh and you took a half step back, caught off guard. You knew that three sets of eyes were watching the interaction, and that undoubtedly Chace was going to come and step in, seeing you withdraw that quickly, in case you weren’t okay. He liked to watch out for you as closely as Sebastian did, but in a brotherly way. 

“I just don’t understand why, Chris,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around yourself. 

“Because it fucking _hurt_ ,” Chris burst, and you nearly flinched from how loud his voice was, because he’d spoken so softly the entire time. With that hands were gentle on your shoulders, and when Chris opened his mouth to say something he promptly shut it again, his eyes travelling upward and focusing on something behind and above your head. He looked a weird mix of embarrassed an almost frightened, and seemed to shrink back into himself a little as he met the gaze of whoever was behind you.

“I think this conversation is done for tonight,” you whipped around, eyes wide at the voice. It wasn’t Chace, and it wasn’t even Scott behind you. 

Sebastian. 

“Baz,” you whispered, flinging your arms around his shoulders and hugging him tight to you, nearly in tears from being overwhelmed with emotions. He kissed your cheek and cupped the nape of your neck with his hand, drinking in the attention. 

“Seb…” 

“Chris, I get it. I know you guys need to talk, but you need to fucking man up and do it without the booze, okay? If I ever have to see my girlfriend _flinching_ while talking to you again…” Sebastian nearly growled the last few words out, and Chris visibly cringed at your boyfriend’s response. A soft hand on Sebastian’s chest calmed him enough to kiss your temple and nuzzle his face against yours. With that Chris took a few steps back, giving you more space before walking dejectedly back toward the bar, and while it killed you to see pain etched all over his features you didn’t really know what to do in that moment.

“I’m so sorry Claire,” moments later Scott’s hand was on your back and you gave him a quick hug, knowing he was probably leaving to haul his brother out of the party. He apologized to Sebastian too, even though your boyfriend took his cue from you and waved it off, insisting it wasn’t Scott’s fault. After Scott found and nearly drug his older brother along with him toward the doors, you buried your face against Sebastian’s neck, drinking in the clean scent that was all him. 

“How… you little bugger is this why your phone was off when I tried to call?” you asked, pulling back enough to see his face. 

“Guilty. Chace helped me organize all this; I managed to get off six hours early and Tina – bless her heart – managed to get all my flights changed and arranged to come out here and see you,” his PA really was magical, and you made a mental note to send her flowers or _something_ as a thank you. 

“She’s the best! And that little shit had me all excited that he was texting some girl, not making sure you were coming out here,” you grumped, and Sebastian laughed, full and loud before pulling you in for a languid kiss. 

“I’m sorry draga, he was just trying to help me impress my girlfriend. Seeing as I have to steal you back from Lizzie and all. How many couples massages and trips have you done now?” he asked, making you laugh as you pressed yourself tight against him. 

“Just a few; we save a lot of money doing it that way, and we needed the massages after all those fight scenes anyway,” you weakly argued, knowing he was just doing it to tease as he kissed the top of your head again and buried his face against your hair. 

“Fuck did I miss you draga,” 

“I missed you too Baz; so much,” you breathed, knowing Sebastian was just as affected as you were. It took a couple minutes, but once you were both comfortable with the fact he was _really_ there and you could let him far enough away to hold hands instead of hugging the two of you went back to the table. Chace greeted him with a hug, and as Lizzie let out a happy shriek and hugged him you gave Chace a little punch to the shoulder, which he immediately pouted over. 

“Little shit. There’s no girl,” you furrowed your brow, and he was about to pull the puppy dog eyes on you when you pulled him in for a hug. “But thank you.”

“See I redeem myself, usually. Sometimes. I knew you’d want him out here, even if it’s only for two days,” he grinned, patting your back before you sat down next to said boyfriend, nearly on his lap as he pulled you as close as he could get. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your middle as everybody visited around you. 

“Draga? Ready to head home?” Sebastian asked softly, several hours later as the party began winding down. You nodded, and let him inform everybody that the two of you were heading out, and after countless hugs, goodbyes, and promises to keep in touch the two of you left the restaurant, standing at the curb to hail a cab. Chace had pulled him into a tight hug, speaking quietly against his ear, and you’d simply averted your eyes. Whether Chace had tipped him off about your earlier conversation or simply wanted to speak about something you didn’t know, but didn’t want to intrude, before you got a knowing look and tight hug from Sebastian’s close friend. He’d even walked the two of you out to the curb, hailing one for Lizzie who was also calling it a night before going back inside, leaving you and Sebastian alone on the sidewalk.

“Love you Baz,” you whispered in his ear, curled into his side as he stepped out slightly, arm up to wave down a cab. 

“I love you too Claire,” he mumbled against your hair, kissing the side of your head before opening the door for you to get in and go back to the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fluffy and angsty all at once and I actually quite like how this chapter turned out; I need to find a way to include more Chace... and maybe set him up with Lizzie because I feel like that's a good plan? Any thoughts on it? 
> 
> And this isn't the only conversation we're going to be having with Chris, so don't worry about it being a super anti-climactic not solving anything conversation!
> 
> Let me know what you think! I hope you liked it! :)


	30. Chapter 30

“So he never did call after all that, did he?” Sebastian asked, and you shook your head, eyes focused on the furniture catalogue in front of you. You’d spent the last two days in New York with him since filming for AoS had ended, and since Sebastian was apparently in the market for a new couch – wanting a sectional – you’d started looking with him. Partially because he’d said he wanted your input, partially because you loved shopping for things like this anyway. It was a lazy morning, with the sun filtering in beautifully through the many big windows in Sebastian’s apartment. The warm light put a golden touch on everything – even Sebastian’s warm, chocolate brown hair, and added to the homey feeling his well-lived in apartment always had. For a bachelor’s pad it never really _felt_ like one; Sebastian had an eye for decorating, and there were picture frames on the walls, a throw blanket on the couch, little touches that meant he loved to be there rather than it just being an apartment to stay in. Touches you’d never really seen a single guys’ apartment have, but that made you smile because each piece there told a story or captivated him in some way and it was amazing. With the blanket wrapped around you and your feet curled beneath Sebastian’s legs on the couch, you were the perfect temperature, happy to have contact with Sebastian, and the light streaming in was optimal for going through the furniture flyers. It was to your surprise that he’d brought up you talking to Chris at the wrap party. Usually – and understandably – he kind of liked to avoid those conversations. Especially on the soft, quiet days like this where the two of you were in your own little bubble.

“No, he didn’t. He just apologized… Baz he seems really… I don’t know. Off. Not good,” you worried your lip a little bit, thinking back to just how haggard Chris had appeared, even though he’d been drinking, and felt your boyfriend stiffen slightly where he sat beside you on the couch. 

“Oh?” 

“I just… I don’t know. He didn’t seem okay, but who knows what’s going on,” you sighed, not wanting to get into it. The two of you were driving out to Sebastian’s mother’s place that afternoon to spend some time and have dinner with her before coming back later in the evening. Tomorrow morning was free to relax and do whatever the two of you wanted, and in the afternoon he had the first table read for a mini-series he was hoping to be cast in. And just like that the two of you would be back into the swing of work. The day after he started filming on a different project while you had a few weeks to yourself before getting back into the Marvel machine. They’d altered their filming schedule to allow Sebastian to finish this project without rushing and so he could bulk up again before he had to be on set. Luckily it meant just a little more time for the two of you to spend together. 

“Yeah, I don’t know either. I haven’t really talked to him since the two of you started having problems,” Sebastian admitted, and you gaped slightly at him. 

“What?” 

“I just… I mean we still casually talked, but can you blame me? Claire it was so obvious you were upset and hurting and that killed me, especially when it really seemed like it was coming from his end and he wouldn’t even talk to you about it,” he continued, picking at a loose thread on the hem of his shirt in order to keep from meeting your gaze, the book he’d been reading hanging from his left hand, all but forgotten at the moment. “Then when it all blew up… well I knew what he did, obviously. I couldn’t just pretend all that hadn’t happened. And with us… draga my loyalty’s with you, you know that.” 

“I just… I mean I knew you hadn’t _really_ talked with him but I didn’t think you’d just totally cut everything off,” you were a little dumbfounded to say the least. Sebastian looked sheepish and maybe a tiny bit embarrassed, blue eyes downcast, the light hitting them just so and making the blue transparent. They were like water, in light like this; where you could almost imagine you were seeing right through them, but the softest hue of ice blue remained. Unsure of what to say, you shifted and leaned against his shoulder, furniture flyer flopping against his knee as you did so. His arm wrapped around you, pulling you close as he leaned his head against yours. The apartment around you was exceptionally still, as if it was holding its breath in the warm fall light that was pouring in from the windows.

“Are you… upset? Because of that?” he asked slowly, as if he was afraid of what you’d say. 

“No, not upset! Just… surprised, I guess. I mean, you guys have been friends like three times as long as you’ve even known me, Baz,” you explained, and Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. 

“Time isn’t the be all and end all, Claire. You’re… you’re my world. Yeah Chris is a friend but I mean… realistically? My future’s with you, and that means more to me,” he whispered, dumbfounding you yet again. That was _the_ most concrete thing either of you had said. Yes, ‘I love you’ was huge, and you did, you loved Sebastian. But this was him all but saying that the two of you were in it for the long haul, white-wedding-kids-and-a-minivan-till-death-do-you-part. And it came from so far out of left field you’d had no idea it was coming. 

“I… Baz…” 

“Shh, it’s okay; I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” soon he was stuttering over himself, cheeks flushed and hot, and you felt your stomach drop. It was because of the moving thing, you were sure, especially after having talked to Chace. He was afraid of scaring you off now, of being too serious for what you wanted, and you hated that he was embarrassed to say things like that. Sebastian was wonderfully sincere and open and those were all qualities you loved about him.

“Baz, it’s just… I just didn’t expect that, is all, it’s okay,” you soothed him, cupping his cheek and moving to straddle his lap so you were able to face him. His blue eyes were wide, slowly studying your face, unsure about what to say or do, and you felt guilt knot up your stomach yet again as your eyes ghosted over the features you had memorized months ago. 

“Still, I know that it’s not what you—”

“Nobody said it’s not what I want, Baz,” you softly told him, nearly giggling when his jaw dropped visibly, full pink lips parting. “I just… I just don’t want all of that _right now_. But I never said I don’t want that.” 

With that his cheeks burned hot beneath your hands and he dropped his head, which tipped you off to something. Even when you gently pressed your fingertips against his cheeks, he didn’t lift his gaze. 

“Seb what’s wrong?” you asked, almost afraid of what he might say. That he wasn’t interested in waiting, or god forbid an ex had walked back into his life and he’d realized he was madly in love with them still and that they wanted those things now too. 

“I just... fuck. I’m sorry draga,” instead he pulled you into a tight hug, chests fitted against one another as he buried his face against your neck. “I just, I can’t help it, I guess. I know I want that with you, and I know you’re not ready. I just… I’m sorry I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut about it.” 

“Oh Baz,” you sighed, finger combing his hair as you searched for the right words. You didn’t want to throw Chace under the bus with this either, as Chace had only talked about it because he’d hoped it would help, and even then he’d been reluctant, not wanting to damage Sebastian’s trust. “You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to keep your mouth shut about anything. I love that you’re an open book with me when you aren’t trying to hide a surprise trip to see me.” 

A soft kiss to his temple helped drive your point home, but his shoulders were still slumped, face still buried against your skin. “I’m sorry I’m not ready for all the things you want and you should have. It’s just… there’s a lot of things I want and need to do before I settle down and have kids; but that doesn’t mean I don’t want them or… or that I don’t want them… with you.” 

With that his head whipped up, jaw hanging open as he stared, before you saw moisture pooling in those clear blue eyes. 

“Draga… you mean that? You really do?” he whispered excitedly, and you nodded. 

“I do mean that Baz. But I mean… I’m talking down the road. Like six, seven, maybe eight years. Are you… you have to be happy too, and you can’t be miserable trying to wait for me puiut,” you mumbled, that same anxiousness gripping at your insides as your mind screamed at you; _what if he can’t wait? What if he doesn’t want to? Who are you to ask him to?_ All of which seemed like reasonable worries and fears; you’d never blame him for feeling that way, but it would break your heart if he did.

“Claire, baby I can wait, I can. I won’t be miserable; I’ll have you,” he explained, before leaning in and kissing you passionately, his large and lightly calloused hands moving up to caress your cheeks. 

“Is that why moving’s off the table? Was I… was I pushing settling down too much?” he asked a few minutes later, once he was satisfied enough to let his lips leave yours for more than a moment or two. While your brain was still a little hazy from the way his kisses always seemed to intoxicate you, it only took a few moments to find your words for him, even as you snuggled into him.

“I don’t think so. And I hadn’t meant to take it off the table Baz; I just hadn’t wanted it to be a drunk talk,” you admitted, your own cheeks flushing slightly at the admission. “It just came out a little wrong when I said it.” 

With that Sebastian shrugged, nonchalant as ever, the fingers of his dominant hand lightly winding into and playing with tendrils of hair near your face, his other hand comfortably at your hip. You were becoming hyper aware of the fact you were straddling his lap and you hadn’t seen him in person in months, but Sebastian’s mind was obviously elsewhere and you knew this talk needed to happen. There just could’ve been a better time for it, seeing as you had about two hours before leaving for his mother’s place. But the warmth and cosiness of his apartment had felt safe from the moment you’d first stepped foot inside; everything screamed Sebastian to you, from the furniture to the paint to the knick-knacks and bits of clutter. And that safety net feeling seemed to keep this much-needed conversation open, which you knew was a good thing.

“So, it’s not off the table?” his voice was hopeful, and you shook your head. 

“Not off the table, just shelved for a slightly later date? It’s only been a year, Baz, and I mean… this isn’t the two of us in the same city deciding to downsize to one apartment. This is somebody moving several hours from home to make a new one, and I just… we’ve gotta be totally ready, you know?” you said, running a hand through your hair, wishing this didn’t seem as frightening as it had become the past couple of months. Sebastian nodded before moving to take your hands in his larger ones, pulling them against his chest. 

“I understand, completely. Whenever you’re ready, I want you to come talk to me about it, okay?” his voice was soft but authoritative, and you nodded. 

“But if it’s really, I mean… I don’t want you to be putting things you’re ready for off just because I’m not there Baz. Relationships are compromise and I feel like you’re doing all of it and that’s not fair,” you blurted, and heard his warm chuckle as you covered your face with your hands. So much for a mature conversation; you felt awkward for five seconds and start blurting things out. 

“I’m okay with these compromises draga; these are little. And I mean, things can change; not that they will or that I’m betting on them but sometimes they do. Maybe in four or five years we’ll be in different places; maybe you’ll want to settle down. Maybe I’ll decide I don’t want to yet and we want to wait longer. For me to put all of that aside right now and wait for you to be ready for those things? Minor details draguta,” he insisted, cupping your cheek again before those lips were over yours, gently stoking the fire inside of you while Sebastian appeared to be oblivious. How he was so amazing was beyond you, especially when you felt like his life plans were being put on hold because of you. That wasn’t fair, and you didn’t want him to have to do that either. Nobody should have to put their life on hold for another person, and especially not when that someone was as warm and giving and supportive as your boyfriend was. You wanted to be in the same place as him, to be as excited and ready to move toward all that but just… weren’t. As bad as it was you knew that if you tried to push yourself into it you wouldn’t be happy, and that was unfair to the both of you. 

“I love you Sebastian,” you murmured against his lips, and felt his hands slide down from the small of your back over the swell of your ass, as he pulled you flush against his warm and solid body. 

“I love you too draga. Now, I haven’t had you home in months; time to take advantage of it?” 

“Two hours before going to see your Mama?” you worried, but tilted your head back anyway when he nipped at your jaw to get better access to your neck and the soft skin there. 

“C’mon, if we’re quick we can even shower before we leave,” he tempted you, lips working their magic along your skin, leaving goose bumps in their wake. You slid your hands beneath his t-shirt, feeling every muscle beneath your fingertips as he groaned into your mouth, making your mind up for you. 

“Before we totally lose our conversation,” he huffed, panting slightly as he stood from the couch, carrying you with your legs wrapped around his waist. “We revisit this in six months? The moving thing, not the rest, I mean. And maybe just keep touching base like that? Seeing how things are going?”

“Yeah, yeah that would work. Can I just ask one thing Baz?” 

“Of course babe, anything,” he nodded, sucking lightly at the skin over your pulse as he walked toward his bedroom. 

“Can… can we please lay off the drunk talk of American-Romanian babies for a bit?” you whispered, closing your eyes tight. He froze mid step, nearly toppling the two of you over before he closed the rest of the space to his bed and gently set you down on it. His eyes were staring at you, shock written all over his face. 

“The… the what?”

“Oh god… maybe you don’t even remember saying it,” you worried, and he shook his head. It had been a stupid, awful, terrible decision to even say something and now you couldn’t even take it back. Goddamn it.

“I really don’t… but I think you need to enlighten me Claire,” 

“I just… I’m sorry,” He didn’t let you pull away, wrapping an arm tight around your waist as he knelt on the floor at the end of the bed, gaze locked on yours as he looked up at you. 

“At your birthday, Chace made a joke to me about us needing to get on having babies after Ryan and Blake and the girls stopped by. Then you… well you said you couldn’t wait for that… for that to be us. With our kids,” you admitted, and saw him swallow hard as he processed the new information. 

“Jesus, no wonder you were freaked out when I tried to bring up moving not very long after. I’m sorry, Claire; I mean, I can’t deny that I want that with you, but I mean, I was drunk. I probably didn’t mean to say it, and you know how I get sometimes,” he decided, and you nodded, even though your stomach told you that wasn’t quite the whole story. Something in his eyes was giving him away, but you didn’t know to what degree and exactly what all was going through his head; he was doing an exceptional job at masking it.

“You were pretty… God Baz you were so happy with them and then when you said that… I know how badly you want that,” you hung your head, and Sebastian sighed before crawling up onto the bed beside you and pulling you down beside him so he could wrap himself around you. 

“I’m so sorry Claire, I really am. I’m a douche when it comes to this apparently,” he chuckled, his tone humourless and flat. That cut you worse than the rest of this did. 

“No you aren’t, Baz, I mean it,” you told him, leaving no room for argument. “I just… that was hard. Seeing how happy you were with them, hearing you _say_ it. That you couldn’t wait for it to be us when I’m so far behind you on all of those things?” you were almost in tears now, having worked yourself up over it. “I’m sorry Baz, I—”

“Shh, draga relax, relax. I’m sorry; you should’ve called me out on it as soon as I was sober. I’m so sorry babe; you know it’s drunk talk. I’ve been honest with you about all of this; you know I want that, yes, but you know I’m happy to wait. So don’t panic over it, okay?” 

“I love you so much Baz,” was all you could choke out, and his grip on you somehow tightened as every inch of his body crowded yours, trying to be as close as was humanely possible. 

“I love you too Claire; so, so much,” he rasped, and swallowed hard as he kissed your forehead. “How about we just doze and cuddle until we have to leave, yeah?” 

“Okay,” you agreed, kissing those full lips softly before letting him tuck your head beneath his chin.

“Okay,” he echoed, and buried his face against your hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I changed the description of the story because it's really left the goofy-vignette idea that originally started The Crazy Thing 'Bout Love, and I feel like it's maybe a little more accurate now? 
> 
> I've been having some trouble coming up with ideas and figuring out where the story is going to go; I've written a few chapters ahead and some I'm really happy with (like the next one - I cannot WAIT for you guys to read it!) and some I'm still picking apart and redoing. I'm really not sure whether this will be a really long story or if things should wrap up in a shorter manner and that's really causing some havoc on figuring out where the story is going to go for me, so if you have thoughts, comments, concerns, opinions, etcetera, that would be greatly appreciated! I don't have anyone being a beta (is that the right word?) or proofreading so it's literally just me trying to figure all this out. Any help is appreciated!
> 
> Thanks!


	31. Chapter 31

“Hello?” you picked up your phone, pinning it between your shoulder and ear while you continued folding laundry. You and Sebastian had spent the day doing some cleaning around his apartment – including getting caught up on laundry. Seeing as how you hadn’t managed to get home to Lancaster in longer than you could believe, you’d asked Annie if she wouldn’t mind sending some of your things to his New York address to avoid buying more new clothes or re-wearing your two suitcases an unbelievable amount of times. So she’d mailed a hockey bag full of your clothes out, which meant all of them needed washing along with the laundry that had been slowly accumulating over the past few months. With Sebastian having been living out of a couple of suitcases while filming, and you doing essentially the same for how many months between staying in New York with Sebastian and then having been in LA filming as well, it was a large amount. So to say it was needed was the understatement of the year. Sebastian had been very helpful in separating colors and whites and putting them in the washer and dryer before he’d passed out on the couch, snoring softly all the while. He’d had to fly out for a few production meetings in Atlanta the day before, and had caught a redeye back to spend as much time as possible at home, and now it had caught up to him. You couldn’t blame him, as he’d probably only managed something like four hours of sleep between flying out, his meetings, and flying back. 

“Thank God you answered your phone! I’ve tried to call you three times already!” Annie’s voice filtered through, and you grimaced. You’d seen the missed calls half a second before she’d called again and her picture had popped up on the screen.

“Sorry, I left it sitting on Baz’s bed while we were doing laundry. What’s up? I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever!” 

“Wow, that sounds exciting and domestic,” she laughed, and you snorted even though you agreed with her. It was as boring and domestic as it sounded. And you _hated_ matching socks with a passion. It was why you bought all the same colors and just threw them in a drawer at home, because no matter what two you grabbed they would always match. Sebastian apparently didn’t have that luxury, needing different coloured socks to wear with different suits. And some of the wacky patterned ones he owned you just _couldn’t_ explain.

“I know, I know,” you chuckled, before grabbing the last load of clothes out of the dryer, before it could loudly beep, and taking them into Sebastian’s room with you so that you could fold them while continuing the phone call and not disturb his much needed nap. “So, how’s Lancaster, what’s new?” 

“Not much, the same old same. You know not a heck of a lot changes around here. Although a little birdy told me that Chloe and Mike are getting engaged pretty soon,” Annie replied, and you barely contained a happy little shriek at the news. You’d expected it to happen at some point; they’d been together something like five and a half years and had just closed a deal on buying a house together, so all things were pointed in that direction, but it was exciting nonetheless. 

“That’s wonderful! Does he have any big plans for asking her?” 

“Not that I’ve heard yet, but I’m sure it’ll be sooner than later. So… I’ve heard that things are a little crazy for you out in Hollywood,” she said, and you froze a little bit. Something in the tone of Annie’s voice meant that something was up, even if you weren’t sure what it was. She was fairly up to date on everything that had been going on, thanks to texts, Snapchat and Instagram even if you hadn’t managed an actual phone conversation in longer than either of you would like to admit.

“Oh? I mean, nothing crazier than normal. I’ve finally got a few days off with Baz around so we can actually spend some time together, which is fantastic. He’s been so exhausted filming and flew out to LA to surprise me and then he had to fly out to Atlanta real quick yesterday for a couple of production meetings and got back at like six o’clock this morning, so he’s snoozing on the couch,” you recounted the last few crazy events to her, and heard her chuckle. Thankfully, she’d realized this kind of craziness was unfortunately the norm for the two of you and understood.

“Well, that’s good of him, but that’s not what I meant. Do you ever look at TMZ? Hell even been on Facebook lately?” 

“No, I try not to keep up to the TMZ thing; Baz said nine times out of ten whatever they post is kind of crap,” you said, and worried your lip, before putting her on speaker phone. It had been ages since you’d even opened your Facebook account to check up on things; thankfully most of the people you stayed in contact with were on Instagram and updated it as much as the other social media accounts. Instagram was just easier. “Is there something I should be looking at?”

“Probably… I’m surprised your PR people or whoever keeps an eye on this stuff hasn’t gotten a hold of you over it,” she answered, and you pulled up the site, before letting out a frustrated groan. Splashed all over the website were pictures of the wrap party; you hugging and talking to Scott, and you talking to Chris, before Sebastian was photographed walking over with an upset look on his face and then wrapping his arms around you, and visibly growling at Chris before the two of you were photographed leaving the party. Of course, no pictures of you and Lizzie hanging out, or of the fact Chace was there the whole time, with all kinds of speculation of what was going on between the three of you. 

“Jesus H. Christ…” you groaned, and heard Annie’s sarcastic laughter on the other end. 

“I told you I’m surprised nobody stomped it out already!” she reminded you. “So, big love triangle going on in Hollywood eh? Apparently you and Chris are ‘reconnecting’ and Sebastian is on edge about it? Or is it the other story where all three of you are trying to ‘reconnect’ and you’ll all end up in a polyamorous group somewhere because you love Sebastian but can’t let go of Chris and they’ll both do anything for you and probably had man crushes on each other anyway?”

The teasing nearly made you chuckle, but your chest was still tight. Sebastian would be incredibly upset to see these pictures and read the kind of things people were saying about the three of you. It was enough to have to be under scrutiny all the time, it was worse for people to be very openly stating whether they thought your girlfriend should be with you or her ex, regardless of how far removed they were from the situation. And it seemed like there were a lot of people commenting on how happy they were you and Chris were talking again, even though it made no sense and the two of you hardly _talked_ at the party.

“Ha ha ha; as fun as that might be I’m not really the sharing type in these situations,” you rolled your eyes at her and Annie dissolved into a fit of giggles. 

“Don’t knock it till you try it girl – although how the hell is it fair you’d manage to get two of _the_ hottest men ever when some of us can’t even get _one_?” she teased, and you snorted before pinning the phone between your ear and shoulder again to hang up a couple of Sebastian’s dress shirts. 

“That’s so not the situation and you know that,” you pointed out, and she giggled some more. 

“Oh come on, I’m sure if Seb got drunk enough it _could_ be the situation…” she continued to tease, and you shook your head. 

“Nope. I don’t think there’s a level of drunkness that would have Baz wanting that, and I think if he got there he’s way past the point of consent. Besides, I don’t think there even _exists_ a level of drunkenness where I would want that either,” you argued, and heard Annie sigh. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she allowed, and you grinned to yourself. “So, when are you two coming back out here? The guys miss him. They said he needs to be around more if you expect them to take him in.” 

“Take him in? What is he, a lost puppy?” you asked, making her laugh some more. 

“No, just – Mike and Jake really got along with him, and Seb was really open to getting to know everybody. I think all of us agree he fits into the group, you just have to bring him around enough to make it happen properly,” she explained, and you felt your cheeks heat up. 

“Well unfortunately it’s not gonna be for a while; our work schedules are about to go insane. But we could do brunch or a Friendsmas on Boxing Day or something? Is everybody around?” you asked, and she hummed. 

“Y’know I’m not sure but I’ll find out and organize something, okay? We can do it at my place, or Mike and Chloe’s new house if they’re all moved in and they’re around,” 

“Thanks Annie. I’d offer my place, but…” 

“It’s like the shirt with mothballs in the pockets in the back of the closet?” she suggested, making you laugh again and try to stifle the noise so as not to wake up Sebastian. 

“Exactly,” 

“Girl you just need to cave and move to New York, as much as I hate it,” she sighed. “Not necessarily with your boy toy, but just to the city. You’re there so much and then you can just get up and go to castings rather than flying or crashing with Seb, you know? Might be something to think about.” 

“Yeah, I know,” you allowed. “It’s just… I don’t know if I’m ready to let go of my place in Lancaster yet, you know? It kind of… signified me being a grown up there.” That made you laugh, and Annie chimed in, even though you knew she understood. “And I don’t know how to move to New York yet; I mean, I don’t know if me and Baz are ready to move in _together_ , but I don’t know how to move to the city and not with him and not hurt his feelings either.”

“Yeah that’s a tough one. I’m sure you’ll figure it out though, okay? Just something to think about because moving would definitely make your life easier. Now get your PR – they’re called PR right?” she asked, and through your laughter you let her know she was correct. “Get your PR person on the job about shutting down the stupidity TMZ is trying to blow up before it ends up in a magazine at the grocery store. That’s what you’re paying them for right?” 

With that you were both laughing, and soon the two of you were reminiscing about the theatre club days when you’d daydreamed about what it would be like to be a ‘star’ and have ‘people’ and the whole glamorous nine yards television made acting out to be. Never once had you imagined all the work that would go into it until you were in the middle of it, and now there were days you wished you and Sebastian could just go somewhere without it being news that _‘Marvel Star Sebastian Stan and girlfriend went grocery shopping together – could things be getting more serious?’_ on Instagram and Facebook and TMZ. Because a grocery trip to Whole Foods wasn’t difficult enough on it’s own without cameras in your face. 

“Draga? What time is it?” you heard Sebastian’s voice, still gravelly with sleep, come from the living room. He sounded adorable and sexy all at once like that. You could hear some half-hearted movement from the living room, but knowing Sebastian he wouldn’t actually haul himself up for a few minutes.

“Well, thanks for the heads up Annie; sleeping beauty is coming to and I need help finishing this laundry,” you said, and heard her snort. 

“Sleeping beauty… oh you’re funny. I’m so calling him that next time I see him,” 

“And he’ll be clueless,” you chuckled, but soon the two of you said your goodbyes, and you sent an email to Kelly to check out the pictures and sources and call you when she had a plan. It was easier that way sometimes rather than a hundred back and forth calls with new developments. 

“Afternoon, babe,” you smiled as you walked back out to the living room, Sebastian still lying on the couch, and arm over his face to block out the sun. 

“Why do I feel like total shit?” he whined, and held out his arms to you, making grabby hands. You chuckled and closed the distance to him, sitting on the edge of the couch and dropping a kiss to his forehead as you began to finger comb through his brown hair. It was getting a little long, beginning to wave on it’s own, and you absolutely loved it like this. He let out a little sigh, tilting his chin up slightly so you would gently scratch his scalp instead of just sliding your fingers through his hair, and you grinned at the little content smile on his plush lips. 

“Because you slept for like four hours and then tried to take a short nap?” you suggested, and he pouted a little, bottom lip full as he stuck it out. 

“Ugh, but I thought a nap would _help_ … I swear to God I feel like Bucky being pulled out of Cryo…” he complained, and you laughed at him. 

“I’m sure this isn’t _quite_ that bad; your heart doesn’t stop and freeze over when you sleep, does it?” 

“Well, I sure hope not,” 

“Then not quite as bad as Bucky being pulled out of Cryo,” you decided, and when he pouted harder you softly kissed his lips. Your phone dinged, an email from Kelly letting you know she was all over the TMZ article and pictures and that she would keep you updated if she needed a statement. She was also going to let Sebastian’s PR team know so they could approach it however they saw fit. 

“Fine, fine, not _quite_ as bad as Bucky coming out of Cryo, but goddamn close,” he decided, and then he softly pushed some hair out of your face, his thumb stroking your cheek as he smiled up at you. “God you’re pretty like this, d’you know that?” 

In an instant your cheeks were hot, blushing at his out of left field compliment, and while you struggled to say something back he chuckled. Pulling himself up with pure abdominal muscle he pressed a kiss to your lips, and sighed as he wrapped himself around you. 

“Th-thanks?” you managed to sputter out, and he chuckled at you before covering your cheek in kisses. 

“It’s true, draga; well you’re beautiful all the time, but… I like getting to see you just being you when we’re together like this. Like this is the Claire only I get, you know?” he explained, and you buried your blush against his chest as he held you. 

“I know. I feel like that with you too,” you mumbled, and felt his hand softly cup the back of your head, holding you to him for a moment before he was softly carding his fingers through your hair. The dark strands were at contrast with his pale hands, and you felt your eyes almost transfixed by the soft, sure movements of his fingers as you watched him for a moment. 

“Well, how ‘bout we go get something to make for supper and then fold that laundry?” he asked with a yawn a few minutes later, and you giggled. 

“It’s like, half done,” 

“What? Why didn’t you wake me up? Most of it’s my clothes,” he sounded absolutely scandalized, and you shrugged. 

“Because you needed some sleep and it’s just laundry?” you supplied, and he shook his head at you. “Don’t worry, I left all the socks.”

“Well I guess I’m making dinner now,” he mumbled through a smile, flinging an arm around your shoulders as the two of you left his building a few minutes later. The walk to Whole Foods only took about five minutes, and thankfully the store was mostly empty. With a basket on his arm the two of you took your time wandering through the store, deciding on chicken parmesan for dinner and then strolling around to see if there was anything else you wanted. After discovering they still made fruit roll ups (you always used to have them in your lunch as a kid) and having Sebastian laugh at you, a box was deposited in the basket, and you stuck your tongue out at him when he teased you over it. And after deciding a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream wouldn’t ruin either of your diet and exercise plans the two of you went to go through the till to pay for your food and head back. 

“Ah shit,” Sebastian grumbled as the two of you approached the door. There was a crowd of four or five people with cameras waiting just outside the door, and you felt your grip on his hand tighten as you thought of the pictures from earlier. The store had been quiet, and you thought you’d been paying attention, but somebody must have snapped a picture to twitter or Instagram or tipped off a website when neither of you were looking.

“I’m guessing Kelly and your team couldn’t quite snuff everything out,” you sighed, and he looked to you. 

“What?” 

“Shit, I thought they’d have let you know, sorry puiut,” you apologize, pushing yourself up on your tiptoes to peck his lips. “Annie told me TMZ got a bunch of pictures from the wrap party; of me and Scott and me and Chris and then you coming in later… they’re trying to blow it up. Somebody here must’ve seen it and then seen us and tipped them off that we were here.” 

“Draga that’s not your fault, nothing to be sorry for. I am surprised that nobody told me though,” he insisted, kissing you once more before adjusting his fingers and giving your hand a little squeeze. “You know the drill? Stay in front of me, head down and if anybody gets in your space raise your voice?” 

“Yessir!” you gave him a play salute, which was kind of ruined by the grocery bag in your hand, but it made Sebastian laugh anyway. This wasn’t really a big enough crowd of paparazzi to worry about, but he’d made you memorize his ‘drill’ of making sure you didn’t get separated or hurt when going through bigger crowds. If there was no security available Sebastian didn’t like you being out of sight, just in case. He’d heard horror stories of actresses being grabbed or worse and didn’t want any of that to happen to you on his watch.

“Okay, let’s go,” he decided, and waited for you to lead the way. With your head down, watching your feet you exited the glass doors, and immediately realized there were more people than you’d originally thought. Closer to twelve or fifteen paparazzi and reporters were there, and you managed a tight-lipped smile before trying to squeeze through them. You could only hope they wouldn’t follow you back to Sebastian’s apartment because then he’d have photographers waiting outside the building at all times and that would be awful. Sebastian’s grip on your hand tightened slightly when he realized the same thing, and both of you could hear the clicks of cameras taking pictures.

“Claire! Sebastian! Over here!” 

“Any comment on Chris Evans?” 

“Why did you and Evans break up?” 

“Sebastian how could you date one of your friends’ exes?” 

“Sebastian does it bother you Claire and Chris are talking again?” 

“Any comment on being together for a year already? Are we going to be getting engagement news any time soon?”

“Is there any merit to the rumour that Claire and Chris went to the wrap party together and you didn’t find out until you got there?” 

“Claire is this relationship a rebound from Chris? We heard that while you hadn’t been photographed together it was only a few days before you and Sebastian started dating,” 

“Are you and Chris reconnecting? We’ve heard from sources the two of you have started talking again?”

“Was Chris cheating with model Joy Rowans? Is that why you split?”

“Is it true you cheated on Chris with Sebastian?” 

“Are you and Chris getting back together?”

“Did—”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Sebastian snapped, just loud enough to catch the attention of the small horde of people following you. “Look, we’re just trying to get some groceries; we’ve both been working apart a lot and only have a few days before we’re gone working again. No, we weren’t together while Claire and Chris were together, and no, they didn’t go to the wrap party together. Chris went with his brother Scott and Claire went with Lizzie; I got done filming early and flew out to LA to surprise her, that’s why I wasn’t there off the get go. Now can we please just go home in peace?” 

He managed to silence them for a few seconds, the two of you trying to hurry away while people were trying to write or make notes, before there were new questions being hurled at you and you took a shaky breath. Usually paparazzi – at least the kind that followed you – were fairly unobtrusive. They might ask about the newest movie or magazine interview, ask for a few autographs, but usually that was about it; the majority of them just stood and took pictures before leaving. And it normally didn’t happen out doing random things like grocery shopping; that usually only happened with Sebastian, and he was very good at avoiding them when he wanted or needed to. A skill learned from a long time of doing so.

“It’s okay Draga, I stalled them long enough. Chace is here,” Sebastian whispered, and sure enough you saw the sleek Audi pull up to the curb, the passenger window rolling down and Chace’s face peering over the empty seat, sunglasses on as he looked for the two of you. 

“C’mon, hop in,” he waved, and you let Sebastian have the front – it was his best friend’s car and he had longer legs – and soon the three of you were pulling away from the horde of reporters and leaving them in the dust. 

“I’m taking a rather scenic route, just to put them off the scent,” Chace announced, and you both thanked him profusely as you could both finally relax. Sebastian turned back to look at you as best he could, hand searching for you before his fingertips brushed your knee. He then gave you a sure squeeze, and you put your hand over his own, the skin soft but slightly calloused at his fingertips and the top of his palm, as you laced your fingers with his. 

“Jesus, that was worse than usual, you okay draga?” 

“Yeah, just a little shaken up,” you admitted, and saw Chace was inspecting you in the rear view mirror as he waited for the light to turn green. 

“You sure? Did the drill not go as planned?”

It was almost enough to make you smile, Sebastian’s ‘drill’ was well known amongst his friends. “No, that was fine. They weren’t being pushy, it’s just the questions they were asking.” 

“Like what?” 

“TMZ got pictures of the wrap party. They’re trying to spin it like Claire and Chris are getting back together behind my back, if what these reporters were asking is any indication,” Sebastian answered, and Chace’s face went pale before he looked absolutely pissed. 

“What a load of shit. That backstabbing bastard cheated on her and she’s just going to cheat on you with _him_? Do they think she’s stupid? Sorry – no offence Claire,” he quickly added, and you nodded, letting him know all was well. “Did they not care that she came with Lizzie and I watched Scott and Chris come in like a half hour before the girls even showed up? Or the fact that she looked uncomfortable as hell the whole time she talked to him?” 

“They’re only showing what they want or what’ll make their story. You know how it goes,” Sebastian reminded him, and his thumb stroked your knee softly. “It’s just shitty they can’t let any of this mess die down. Marvel is going to be tickled pink over it.” 

“They won’t be mad, will they?” you worried, and immediately both men’s expressions softened as they turned back to look at you, Chace a moment or two later than Sebastian as he finished parking the car out front of Sebastian’s building. You remembered vividly having a meeting with someone from the office when word got out of you and Chris being together, about protocol and whatever. There had been no call about one when you and Sebastian got together, so maybe they’d just assumed you would go by the same rules? 

“Baby no; it’ll be fine. They just don’t like having to comment or deal with this kind of stuff if they can avoid it and we can sort it out ourselves, okay? Everything will be fine,” Sebastian insisted, and you nodded at the calming, sure tone of his voice. Like he just knew it would all be okay. 

“Yeah, it’ll all die down once everybody knows what actually went down. PR will give you guys some pointers and probably release statements and I’ll even post a few Instagram pictures of me with you and Lizzie to help reinstate _who_ you were at the party with; and Lizzie snapped a good one of you two lovebirds when you weren’t looking so maybe see if she’ll post that too. It’s awful and shallow and superficial but what everybody wants to see is kind of what you have to show them, y’know? I mean, we all know everything’s good, but they only know what you put out there for them. If all the public reads is this triangle shit storm with the three of you that’s what they’ll believe and it’ll follow everything you do. If you show them that you and Seb are good and happy that’s what they’ll follow,” Chace told you, and you nodded before reaching up and giving him the best hug you could considering you were sitting in the backseat. 

“Thanks Chace,” you mumbled against his shoulder, and felt him pat your back gently before you pulled away. 

“Now, you two go have a nice dinner and relax; like cell phones off, watch movies and turn the world off relax. You need it,” he instructed, and Sebastian gave him a quick hug too before the two of you got out. 

“And if you need anything give me a shout – I’m not doing anything today or tomorrow so if you don’t wanna leave the apartment I can help out. I only demand some of Claire’s cooking in return,” he gave you a shit eating smile and you nodded and waved, thanking him again for the rescue before he drove away.

“Well draga, I think Chace had some good advice,” Sebastian decided once you were inside and groceries were put away. He pulled your phone from your pocket and set it on airplane mode, doing the same to his and putting them in the kitchen drawer that held odds and ends. 

“You know we’re going to forget they’re in there,” you chuckled, and to remedy that he wrote a note to himself on the fridge. 

“There, now we won’t have a panic tearing the apartment apart looking for them,” he declared, and then wrapped you up in his arms. “Sorry today got so crazy.” 

“It’s not your fault, Baz,” you nuzzled into his chest, inhaling the soft, almost earthy scent of him and feeling tension drain out of your muscles. 

“Now, I know you’re gonna argue because the laundry isn’t done—”

“Baz we _need_ to finish it…” 

“But I vote we do this first,” he pulled a bottle of red wine out of the cupboard, and handed it to you along with instructions to open it and pour each of you a glass. You did so, wondering what in the hell your boyfriend had up his sleeve as you stood there and took a few sips, the tart red wine putting a little shiver down your back as you took a moment to get used to it. Usually you drank white (because it was sweeter) but Sebastian was slowly introducing you to some of his favourites and once you got over the fact it didn’t taste like juice you began to enjoy it. 

He emerged from the hallway a few minutes later, a soft smile on his face as he grabbed his glass of wine, kissed your lips and then tugged gently on your free hand. You followed him, admiring the way his shirt seemed to be clinging to his back a little, before he tugged you into the bathroom. Sebastian had filled the tub, even finding bubble bath somewhere (although admittedly it may have belonged to an ex and had been stashed in his bathroom for a long time – neither of you really used the stuff) and lighting a couple of candles so the two of you could sit and just enjoy it. 

“Baz…” 

“C’mon. Lizzie got to take you to the spa all the time, and I know this isn’t the same but I’m doing what I can here without us going outside and potentially dealing with _that_ again,” he chuckled, and set his wine glass down on the counter before pulling yours from your grip. 

With that he began to push your cardigan down your arms, softly kissing at the exposed skin of your collarbones, his fingertips the lightest brush of skin down your arms as the material slowly fell. The friction of his touch and the material dropping raised goose bumps on your arms. There was already steam covering the mirror as he gently kicked the door shut and dimmed the lights, leaving the soft yellow lighting from the candles and just a little bit of light from above you, casting warm shadows across everything. 

Sebastian then lifted your shirt over your head, before running his palms lightly over your newly exposed skin, making a hum come from deep in your throat before you turned to face him and strip him out of his shirt too. The sweet kiss and loving smile you received were enough to warm you all the way to your toes.  
Once the clothes were off he held onto your arm as you stepped into the tub, sat down and groaned as you sank into the hot water. With that you lifted your hand and curled your finger, asking him to join you, which Sebastian eagerly did. He carefully stepped in behind you and settled down into the water, only hissing slightly at how hot it was, because you liked bathwater or showers much hotter than he did, and then pulled you back against his chest, letting your head rest on his shoulder. Soon he was gently cupping water in his hands to bring up and let it trickle down over the skin exposed above the water, and then his thumbs were gently working the knots in the top of your shoulders. If heaven were a place this was it, with the soft scent of vanilla and what could’ve been sugar cookies wafting from the candle, the warm lighting, and the amazing human being who was your boyfriend massaging your shoulders in a bubble bath. With both of your glasses of wine easily in reach to make things impossibly better.

“You are incredible,” you murmured, eyes falling closed as Sebastian’s hands worked their magic. He paused for a moment and then you found your wine glass in front of you, which you accepted with a smile and took a sip of, as Sebastian did the same before balancing it on the side of the tub and going back to his massage of your shoulders

“All for you,” he whispered back with a soft kiss as you let yourself slump back against him. “We needed something like this, more than I think either of us realized.” 

“You’re probably right,” you agreed, and reached a hand up to cup his cheek. “We need another vacation. And be careful or you’re going to have that wine in the tub.” 

“I will not! I’m being careful, draga. And as soon as we have enough days off together I’m whisking you away somewhere,” he decided, and you chuckled before meeting his lips. That sounded perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this lengthy and well-inspired chapter is due to the fantastic idea that Me left in a comment on the last chapter! I had wanted some way to kind of bring in the celebrity-side of things, because while Claire and Baz work apart sometimes they really seem like they live totally out of the celebrity scope, and while New York is great for that it isn't perfect. And because I'm procrastinating my very last paper of the semester I found some awesome inspiration for this chapter around their idea of TMZ and media jumping on the 'story' of Claire being out at a party with Chris there and Sebastian not. So any and all thanks can go to them :)
> 
> I hope you guys like it! It's some more inconsequential fluff but in hectic times like finals we can all use some inconsequential adorable fluff (there's only tidbits of other things here and there in this chapter so it's easy to call it all fluff) 
> 
> On an unrelated note... this is what I actually do with socks. I used to have all kinds of crazy patterned ones back in the high school days... and then as an adult I no longer like wearing them so I literally just buy white walmart socks and dump them in the drawer so I can just grab two and go... because I am _so_ good at adulting (not...)


	32. Chapter 32

“Where are you CHRIST-MAS!” you flinched as Chace burst through Sebastian’s front door, nearly making you drop the ornaments you were carrying from the cardboard box to the tree, singing at the top of his lungs and off-pitch. Sometimes it was so easy to forget the goofball had his own key, because rarely did he ever use it to let himself in without warning. Apparently the Christmas Spirit was getting to him and would be getting to the two of you by association. 

“Jesus Chr—CHACE I TOLD YOU THAT KEY WAS FOR EMERGENCIES!” Sebastian hollered from in his bedroom, having heard the commotion and your yelp of surprise. He was currently working on digging out any Christmas decorations he owned, seeing as you were spending actual Christmas day in New York with him before flying out for two days with your parents. Thank God Marvel had decided to give everybody a Christmas vacation off from filming. It had felt like a school winter break; everybody doing more talking about plans than actual work the last day, filled with hugs and best wishes and talk of meeting up in the New Year to be back to work. 

“This is an emergency! Dude it’s like four days till Christmas and your place still looks like the Grinch took up residence!” Chace declared, shucking off his coat and going into the kitchen. You huffed, having felt that the decorating you two had done that morning – seeing as your flight got in late last night – was a considerable improvement. 

“We’ve only been decorating for like ten minutes; we had to go buy stuff,” you informed him as he was soon clambering around in the kitchen making noise, and soon had appeared with what could only be eggnog in hand. “Baz doesn’t own a lot of decorations.” 

“I usually spend the holidays at Mama’s house, why decorate this one?” he argued, coming out with a small cardboard box that held all the decorations he’d owned prior to that morning. It was sad at best. Not that your place was any better, sitting quite neglected for the past few months. 

“You need a tree,” Chace decided, handing him a glass of eggnog. Sebastian took a sip and nearly choked on it, coughing a little before eyeing the glass warily. It was almost enough to make you chuckle but you quickly rearranged your expression before Sebastian could give you a hard time about teasing him. And to try and not hurt Chace’s feelings on top of that.

“Is there even any eggnog in this? Or is it just coloured rum?” he asked, and you were glad you’d set yours down to continue with the little window display you were trying to set up. 

“It’s a Crawford special,” Chace smirked, before he was sifting through the boxes the two of you had brought in. “So… about that tree…” 

“We have a little one, it’s right there!” Sebastian complained, pointing to the little three-foot tall fake tree that was still in its box, but leaning in the corner the two of you decided it would look best in. You’d been a little sad about not being able to help decorate a Christmas tree properly this year, but you’d take what you could get. 

“Hell no. That, my friend, is bullshit. You actually have a living room big enough for a tree, why not have one?” Chace crossed his arms, and Sebastian sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose. The two of you had really hoped for a quiet, Christmas decorating day to yourselves. Now there would be no rest and relaxation in the decorating. Chace was a Christmas fan to the nth degree. But at least getting to visit with friends was a plus; it felt like the two of you had been pretty isolated due to work lately, outside of the co-stars and co-workers who you’d gotten close with. 

“Because we’re only here for a couple days and we’re going to go see Mama anyway, Chace; that’s a lot of work for a few days just to take it all back down again in a rush when we get back from Ohio,” Sebastian informed him, and you nodded. 

“It’s true,” you seconded, and Sebastian gestured to you with a smug expression, glad someone was on his side. 

“Why doesn’t she come out here? You tell me like every year that she doesn’t really decorate the house up because it’s a lot of work for just her, why not bring her out here and go all out? Have a real Christmas?” Chace suggested, and you nearly giggled at the look on your boyfriend’s face. It must not have even occurred to him; the tradition was going to his mother’s and so that’s what he was going to do. 

“I… I just…” 

“Just call her and ask. I’m sure she’d be just as happy,” Chace was soon prodding him before he began putting up decorations as well, thankfully looking to you for direction on where you wanted things. He’d also cranked some holiday music on his phone to help ‘festive up the house’ while he was there. Sebastian had merely rolled his eyes and excused himself back to his room to call his mother, and you could only laugh and shake your head at these two. They may as well have been brothers the way they could get along perfectly one moment and irritate the hell out of each other the next, without their relationship ever changing.

“So, excited for the first real Christmas together?” he elbowed you playfully as he grabbed a garland and carefully extricated it from its cellophane packaging. You could only smile as you pulled out a Rudolph figurine and inspected it, trying to figure out where it would go. 

“You are too! Have you ever done this before? The whole, y’know, practically living together celebrating Christmas with each other’s family kinda deal?” he asked, and you nodded. 

“Yeah, when I was in my first year of college I moved in with my boyfriend, and we lived together for like a year and a half. We did all this stuff but… this is different, still,” you shrugged. “I’m a lot more excited, and a lot more nervous at the same time.” 

“Nervous? C’mon; Seb’s Mama loves you, even I know that,” 

“I’ve hardly seen her, Chace; I’ve met her like all of four times thanks to being so busy,” you worried your lip between your teeth, deciding Rudolph could go beside the TV. “And all my parents can do is ask about when I’m bringing Baz out to Lancaster, and then they lay into the grilling hard; is he gonna move out there with me? Am I moving here with him? You know, not just the ‘how are things been? Are you guys happy?’ kind of stuff. It’s just putting a lot of pressure on everything and I don’t want it to affect how happy I am to spend Christmas with him.” 

“Aw c’mere,” Chace closed the few steps between the two of you and pulled you into a hug. “I think you’re just worrying because of everything else you two have been dealing with; and it’s totally normal. But did you ever think they’re asking you those questions because they like Seb? That they’re happy you’re with somebody who loves you as much as he does and they just want to see the two of you happy together? Parents have like a sixth sense about shit like this, I saw it with my sister and Tony.” 

Well if that wasn’t the most introspective you had ever seen Mr. Chace Crawford, you didn’t know what was. You squeezed him tighter, nearly feeling tears pricking at the back of your eyes before you finally let him go. 

“Can I just make you my official big brother already? Jeeze louise,” you teased, and he laughed before ruffling up your hair. 

“Dude I’m so down with that! I mean, considering my little sister married Tony Romo who is like, _the man_ , it’s gonna be hard to not keep favourites, but dating my best friend still leaves you in contention,” he teased, and made you laugh even as Sebastian made his way back into the living room to check in on what was going on, sliding his phone into his pocket. He raised an eyebrow at the two of you, before cracking a grin and walking over, sliding his arms around your waist and resting his chin comfortably on top of your head. 

“Why does it look like you two are plotting something in here?” he asked, and you snorted. 

“When _isn’t_ Chace plotting something,” you teased, and he looked hurt for a moment before grinning too as he flopped haphazardly onto the couch. The new black sectional that you and Sebastian had picked out together fit the space perfectly, with some new throw pillows helping to keep the couch from being too dark amongst the warmer brown tones in his apartment. Sebastian hadn’t liked the two shades of brown that the couch came in but had been determined that this was the right one, so the two of you were doing the best you could to make sure it didn’t stick out like a sore thumb.

“That’s true. Your girlfriend is now officially my little sister, so you know what that means,” he pointed a menacing finger in Sebastian’s face. “You watch it or face my wrath, dude.” 

“Oh my _God_ you two…” Sebastian groaned, before laughing and tugging you back with him, making you wobble on your feet and giggle at him. “And you totally put the bug in Mama’s ear about coming here; she said she was just waiting for me to ask her!” 

“Well, what can I say, I’m a genius and she knows it.” 

“You’re a doofus, that’s what you are,” Sebastian snarked back, and Chace raised his hands, pretending he was offended. 

“Good comeback no comeback. Claire you shouldn’t let him sass people around like that; tighten up the leash!” 

“Leash? Leash? How dare you! I’m a man! Claire knows it! She lets me do what I want as long as it isn’t leaving my socks all over the floor! Or leaving the toilet seat up!” Sebastian gasped, dialling up the dramatics to eleven just like his best friend. They were so alike it hurt sometimes. 

“Don’t even! You probably still love him more than me,” you swatted softly at his arm around your waist, and made Chace snort cockily while Sebastian aggressively shook his head. 

“Not a chance,” 

“You know it,” 

With that they shared a surprised look while you burst into laughter so hard that Sebastian was now the sole thing keeping you on your feet as tears were in your eyes. Chace looked so shocked and betrayed it was ridiculous and hilarious, blue eyes as wide as saucers and mouth hanging open, while Sebastian looked surprised and lost. 

“Dude…” 

“ _Dude_? What the hell?” Chace demanded, crossing his arms and accidentally draping himself in a green sparkly Christmas garland. “How could you?” 

“Chace, c’mon man…” Sebastian started, but Chace turned away, playing pout in full effect while Sebastian let you slump to the couch, laughter no longer making a sound that human ears could pick up. Your boyfriend looked concerned for a few moments until he realized you were in fact still breathing and mostly okay. Then his full attention returned to his friend making a scene in his living room.

“No. I see how it is.” 

“Chace, c’mon, you’re my best friend, of course I love you man, just…” 

“Not as much as Claire! Apparently!” he nearly hollered, and Sebastian groaned, dropping his face into his hands. From where you were sitting you could see Chace struggling to keep the smirk off his lips. 

“Dude, we’re dating! I’m _in_ love with her; it’s a whole different thing, you know that,” 

“Is it because she has boobs and I don’t?” 

Your side was going to split open if he kept this up, you were sliding off of the couch and unable to do a goddamn thing about it while Sebastian floundered for something to say to his best friend. He was trying desperately not to laugh himself, and was struggling hard in both departments as he tried to figure out how best to play it to win the argument and put an end to it.

“Y’know it might have a teensy bit to do with it, but it’s not—”

“Sexist jerk. Sis, you can’t date him anymore. I’m no longer allowing it,” Chace announced, and breezed past Sebastian, flipping the garland dramatically over his shoulder like it was a scarf. The tears were streaming down your cheeks and Sebastian just looked exasperated. 

“Jesus Christ… why do I let him in the house again?” he asked you, tugging on his waving brown hair, and you simply held your hands out to him, making grabby hands so he would come over because you still couldn’t talk. He shook his head, smiling softly at you as he walked over and squatted down in front of you, gently thumbing the tears off of your cheeks before kissing you sweetly. 

“You two are something,” he sighed, before standing up and eyeing Chace. 

“If I say we can go get a real tree and you can help decorate will you love me again?” he groaned, and saw Chace’s bright, wicked smile as he whipped back around to face the two of you. 

“Deal. Okay, Claire you don’t have to dump his ass,” 

“I wasn’t really… planning on doing that in the first place,” you choked out, Sebastian’s hand softly on top of your head while you struggled to breathe. “He’d just have to be my secret boyfriend until you two made up again.” 

“I can’t say I expected any less of a sibling, in all honesty. So let’s go get this Christmas tree! Once Claire can breathe, that is,” Chace decided, and Sebastian flopped onto the couch beside you, groaning while you wrapped your arms around him and kissed his temple. 

“Relax, it’ll be fun,” you mumbled against his hair, and he sighed. 

“You should call Lizzie; if we’re going to have a circus in this house we may as well have all three rings,” he decided, and you snorted before kissing him and pulling out your phone while the two of you began to pay attention to Chace’s ramblings of what kind of tree you needed and where to look. 

Four hours later found the four of you sprawled across the living room, glasses of eggnog in hand (poured by yourself, not Chace) while your lasagne finished baking in the oven. The tree was partly decorated with Christmas lights on – the only thing Lizzie had deemed simple enough for the boys to do themselves while you two made something for dinner. It had been a quick and easy way to feed the four of you, as Lizzie had been more than happy to jump in on the Christmas tree excursion, even if three or four different people mistook her for Chace’s girlfriend. Chace had laughed it off every time while Lizzie had blushed, and you and Sebastian shared a few knowing looks. They looked couple-y, walking so close and pointing things out to each other, almost forgetting the two of you were there. You and Sebastian had even managed to sneak into a different, empty row of trees to make out for a minute or two before you could hear them calling and looking for you. It had brought out a kind of exciting, high-school sneaking around feeling that had both of your eyes bright and cheeks flushed, holding hands while you re-joined your friends, pretending that you’d just seen something you’d liked and had wandered off. Not mentioning that the something you’d liked had been each other’s lips. 

“God girl, why does your cooking always smell as good as TV cooking show food looks?” Lizzie pouted, looking over at you while you laughed. Sebastian just beamed proudly, and slung an arm around your shoulders. 

“Because she’s a damn good cook and I’m a lucky sonofabitch,” he said, running the words together to sound like one while the three of you laughed. 

“I’m just glad you decided to officially adopt me, this means I can eat over here whenever I want now,” Chace piped up, and Sebastian groaned. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue when Chace wasn’t looking, making the two of you laugh harder while Chace continued to gloat.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” 

“What the hell?” Lizzie asked, and you began laughing, nearly blowing eggnog out your nose as you did so. You had almost forgotten she hadn’t been present for all of the previous conversation.

“As my unofficial official brother, not as my kid,” you quickly corrected for her, and she looked relieved. Her cheeks were a little pink from the eggnog, as Chace had gotten his hands on pouring the first round. 

“Thank God; you had me worried for a moment. Not about you,” she waved in Chace’s general direction, making him chuckle. “But just… that’s fuckin’ weird man.” 

That caused you and Sebastian to both bust a gut, leaning on each other for support until the giggles died down, and Lizzie looked thoroughly embarrassed by her outburst, eyeing her drink as if it were the sole cause of her problems. Even though it likely was the main culprit. 

“We’ll get there some day. With real kids, not the thirty two year old should-be-living-independently-but-isn’t kind,” Sebastian assured her, and she chuckled to herself while Chace nearly had a full pout on again. 

“Aw c’mon, you guys love me! Why do you always act like you don’t when other people are around?” he whined, and you reached across Lizzie to muss up his hair.  
“Aw, honey everybody would get jealous otherwise, so we just razz your ass constantly in the company of others to make it fair,” you informed him, and Sebastian was nearly howling in laughter at Chace’s surprise and your answer. 

“Oh God… this is why I love you draga,” he managed to choke out the words, kissing your cheek as your timer went off for dinner. The smell had been tantalizing for the past fifteen minutes, and all of your stomach’s had been growling on and off because of it, impatiently waiting for dinner to be done.

“Well, hopefully not the only reason,” you teased back; meeting his lips an instant before getting up. 

“Ey-oh,” Chace let out, holding out his hand for a high-five, but Sebastian groaned and slapped his forehead, looking quite embarrassed at Chace’s outburst.

“Oh come on! _Now_ you’re too cool for that?” Chace argued, while Sebastian was trying to explain how ‘inappropriate it was to make a sex joke in front of his girlfriend and her best friend while watching a children’s Christmas movie’. Chace apparently didn’t see an issue because he didn’t _explicitly_ say anything, and Lizzie decided that helping set the table was her out to be able to avoid being sat in the middle of their argument. 

“Those two are something,” she giggled, leaning on the counter as you pulled the pasta dish out of the oven, the smell wafting over both of you and making your mouth water. There was just something about lasagne that got to your senses in the best of ways. 

“They are. I’m pretty sure they’re the brothers they never had,” you agreed, and let Lizzie know which cupboard the plates were in while you pulled out the Caesar salad and the dressing to mix it up. 

“Oh God; they’re your real life Steve and Bucky,” she soon was cracking herself up, while you rolled your eyes. You’d been a bit of a comic nerd before getting a job in Marvel, but you weren’t that bad. 

“Sure, Lizzie. I think you’re cut off from the eggnog for the rest of the night,” you pestered back, and she just waved you off, still laughing as she set the table. 

“God sometimes I’m funny,” she shot you a silly face, sticking her tongue out and making you laugh too, hard enough you’d caught Chace and Sebastian’s attention. 

“What are you two doing in there?” Sebastian asked, pushing himself up on the couch so he could see over the back. One eyebrow was raised, and you nearly giggled at his expression as his forehead and eyes came into view over the back of the couch, nothing more. 

“Oh nothing. Girl stuff,” you flippantly answered, and heard Chace groan. 

“They’re plotting your death, man. Or your wedding, one of the two,” Chace sagely told him, and you and Sebastian shared a look for an instant before both of you were laughing again. Lizzie had looked worried for a moment, before she joined in when she realized you were fine with the joke. Maybe _all_ of you needed to lay off the eggnog for the night. 

“I’m so glad that being married to me is right up there with death, Chace. That makes me feel so awesome,” you sarcastically drawled, and soon he was tripping over his words trying to fix what he’d said. 

“Just stop; you’re already six feet down with your foot in your mouth, bud. I now know why you can’t hold down a girlfriend,” Sebastian told him with a pat on his shoulder as he got up to come poke around in the kitchen. Chace looked sad and stuck out his bottom lip before realizing nobody was paying him any mind, joining the three of you to dish up and eat. 

“Well, I gotta say I’ve never had a pre-Christmas quite like this,” Sebastian whispered. After dinner was eaten and cleaned up, the tree had been decorated while you all sang obnoxiously to every Christmas song Chace could find. The eggnog was also polished off, and it was now nearly eleven o’clock at night. The apartment looked a little bit like Christmas had thrown up in it, but in a good way, and the two of you were curled up leaning against the couch while Chace and Lizzie were both snoozing hard. Lizzie had passed out somewhere between the star going on top of the tree and the Grinch starting, Chace had dozed off with about ten minutes of the film left. So the two of you had sat quietly, snuggled up together and watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer together. 

“Same here; I imagine it’s what Christmas is like in a big family,” you agreed, nodding and pressing your temple against Sebastian’s jaw. His skin was warm against yours, and you felt his Adam’s apple bob slightly as he took a sip of his drink. 

“Yeah, I bet you’re right. Or more accurately, with two kids,” he chuckled, left hand stroking your arm absentmindedly as he eyed your friends. “But with these two it’s debatable.” 

“You join in enough to have lost any kind of adult or parent status,” you joked pushing against him lightly and making Sebastian grin again as he shrugged absentmindedly. With that he got a bit of a wicked grin and pinched lightly at your side.

“I can say the same for you,” he reminded you, and kissed you softly. “Still, I never had a Christmas like this. Where the house feels so… alive and busy and just like, fun, doing stuff like this. I used to think decorating was a chore so I hated it.” 

“I know what you mean. I was the only one to help my mom do it so it just sucked. I mean, we tried to make it fun; but I liked baking cookies and stuff way more than the decorating,” you agreed, and felt him lean a little more on you. He made himself comfortable, pulling you in closer against his side, leaning his head against yours while his gaze moved over the decorated tree and the rest of the Christmas-themed ornaments that were adorning his living room, dining room and kitchen. His arm snuck around you and his thumb softly stroked your hipbone; nearly making you melt into him, your face warm from the rum in the eggnog as well as Sebastian’s proximity.

“But tonight was really fun,” he whispered, and you nodded, kissing his jaw softly. 

“It really was. Is your mom excited to come here for Christmas? Even though we’re leaving on Boxing day for my parents?” you asked, and he smiled. 

“So unbelievably excited. I think this is my ‘becoming an adult’ moment for her; inviting _her_ to _my_ place for a family get together. She’s so excited you’re going to be here too, almost more excited than she is to see me I think,” he answered, and kissed the top of your head. “She, ah… I’m going to warn you in advance. She might be hinting _real_ hard at me, especially when you can hear.”

“Hinting real hard?” you asked, and looked up to see his blue eyes shining a little in the soft light coming from the Christmas tree. 

“About us getting engaged. Just wanted to let you know. It’s not in the game plan, so no need to freak out. At least not this year,” he winked, letting you know he was teasing and that all was well even while your face got hot. “It’s just because she loves you, draga, and she wants you to be around. And it’s the first time I’ve done something like this with a girlfriend, so she’s just reading as much into it as she possibly can. We both know we haven’t been dating long enough to be worrying about a ring yet, and that’s what matters.” 

He chuckled, his eyes moving over your face before kissing you softly again. You met his lips, kissing him back and cupping his jaw. 

“I love you, Baz,” you whispered, and he smiled back before kissing you again. 

“I love you too, draga. Now how ‘bout we get these two crazy kids to bed and hit the hay?” he asked, and you couldn’t repress the giggle that came from you as he moved to get up. 

“What?” 

“Whatever you say, gramps,” you teased, and he rolled his eyes. 

“It was not that bad,” 

“But honey it was; you sound like an old man when you talk like that,” you told him, pulling him in for another sound kiss once you were standing beside him and he was trying to figure out what to do with Chace and Lizzie. 

“Well I’m your old man so joke’s on you,” he retorted, before grimacing when he realized how bad that sounded. You even snorted when you realized what he’d said.

“That… did _not_ come out right,” 

“Oh Baz, good thing you can get away with saying English isn’t your first language, hm?” you told him, before kissing his cheek and going over to Lizzie. You managed to get her to half-walk while you sort of carried her to the spare room, where she immediately crawled in and fell back asleep, mumbling nonsense to you and herself. Sebastian managed to manhandle Chace up onto the couch properly instead of half-hanging off of it, and you found him a pillow and a blanket to make him comfortable with. 

“Not gonna lie, I can’t wait for Christmases like this with you,” Sebastian murmured a minute later when the two of you were getting undressed to change and crawl into bed. He wrapped himself around you again, bare chest against the skin of your back, and you hummed and leaned into him. 

“You mean like next year? Puiut we haven’t even had this Christmas yet,” you told him, letting your fingertips dance across his cheek, his skin smooth and soft beneath them. He kissed your fingers softly, before dipping his head down to capture your mouth, tongue moving surely over your lips before you let him in. 

“No, just… like what you were saying earlier. About this is what Christmas would be like with a big family? I can’t wait for more of them; whether it’s us and Chace and Lizzie or with our parents out or eventually our kids. This is the best Christmas I’ve had in a long time and it’s not even here yet,” he explained, and made you tear up as you kissed him thoroughly, burying a hand in his hair and making him sigh into you. You could feel the way any tension in his body seeped out as he wrapped himself around you, going lax and letting you take control as you kissed him.

“Get your ass on that bed, Stan, and I’ll make tonight a whole lot better,” you growled against his neck, and with a cut-off whine he did as you said, pulling you with him and grinning as you fell into bed kissing, arms wrapped around each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I was definitely in the festive mood and I really love this chapter. Chace is easily one of my favorite additional characters because somehow I feel like he can walk the line of being a really great supportive friend and total goofball without it being out of character? 
> 
> And the second reason I was super inspired is because I am definitely freaking out. I'm MEETING Sebastian in January and I might just die of happiness afterward.. so I'm apologizing in advance if that happens and this story doesn't get finished. Every time I realize it's like a month until I get to see him _in person_ I have another mini excited freak out and can hardly contain myself :D 
> 
> Hope you guys like the chapter! :) (And for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas I'm sorry... Happy Holidays, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Winter Solstice!)


	33. Chapter 33

“Uh… hello? Seb? Claire? You guys waking up anytime soon?” 

You groaned and rolled over, burying your face against Sebastian’s chest in an attempt to block out the light and the sound coming from his bedroom door. Your head was pounding from the eggnog you’d drank the night before, your feet frozen because you’d managed to kick the blankets off partially and Sebastian had stolen them, and your mouth was so dry you weren’t sure your tongue was still there. It took moments for an identical groan to come from Sebastian, his chest heaving slightly as he let the air out, sounding just as unimpressed with his current situation as you did. 

“No… go the fuck back to sleep,” he growled, before rolling carefully to his side – thankfully blocking the light from the window from your face – and wrapped himself around you, tucking your head beneath his chin. You hummed happily and snuggled in, and Sebastian only winced a little when you stuck your cold toes between his calves. 

“Damn icicle feet,” he muttered, but lifted his leg a little so it was easier for you to tangle yourself up with him and warm up. “We gotta get you some thick ass socks to wear to bed.” 

“That’s so uncomfortable Baz,” you whined, and then grimaced when it felt like somebody had smacked you on top of the head at the sound. “Ugh I drank way too much eggnog last night.” 

“I think all four of us can say that,” Sebastian quietly allowed, finally cracking open one sleepy eye. “My head is killing me.” 

“Mine too,” you whispered, and softly pecked his lips before you heard Chace clear his throat just outside the bedroom door. The clothes the two of you had taken off the night before were still strewn across the floor, and all you were wearing was one of Sebastian’s tank tops, while the Adonis of a man curled around you was wearing nothing but the bed sheet. Thankfully Chace respected occasional boundaries and hadn’t burst in. He may have gotten a pretty inclusive view of Sebastian’s bare ass. Which was now being covered up as he adjusted the covers to keep the two of you warm. 

“Jesus… Chace what do you want?” Sebastian asked, and the two of you heard a squeak from the door. 

“I just think—”

“Good GOD don’t open that door!” Sebastian hollered, making your ears ring and you pressed your forehead to his chest to stifle it. Sebastian was grabbing at the covers, pulling them up and adjusting them to ensure the two of you were, in fact, well covered, even as the door froze where it was, still 99.99 percent closed.

“Oh god… I did not need _that_ mental picture,” Chace made a gagging sound, and you almost rolled your eyes at him before Sebastian sighed. 

“Dude… really?” 

“Yes really. Now put on some clothes and get out here… you uh… need to see this. PR is gonna have a heyday and I’m surprised Etta hasn’t blown up your phone yet Seb,” Chace said, and the two of you shared an uneasy look. He wasn’t teasing or making a joke, Chace sounded a little concerned, through the croakiness of being hung over and feeling a little shitty. So the two of you reluctantly crawled out of bed, Sebastian shuffling around to find the sweats he’d only had on for like two hours the day before – before Chace had drug the two of you out to look for a tree – and pulled on a clean T-shirt. You simply pulled on clean underwear and leggings, then slid into one of Sebastian’s hoodies and deemed yourself presentable enough for company that was Chace and Lizzie. Sebastian grabbed his phone and lumbered toward the door, his hand softly on your hip as he walked right behind you into the living room. 

“I just went to grab some coffee because I felt like a bag of shit when I woke up,” Chace explained. “I don’t even know how they get this shit out so fast, but it’s all over fucking TMZ and People online and I swear to god it was on a freaking gossip rag at the coffee shop.” 

“What was?” 

Sebastian’s phone rang then, and he paled slightly when he saw his mother’s name. She would be coming out in the evening, and he mumbled an apology as he ignored the call and set down his phone, even though she wouldn’t hear it. 

“This,” Chace handed his phone over, and you saw the TMZ headline, before seeing a picture of you and Sebastian making out at the Christmas Tree place, your hands on his jacket holding him close while his were pulling you in, his mouth firmly over yours while both of you were hiding grins against each others’ lips. It looked far worse than it had been, but then you paid attention to the headline. 

_‘Marriage in the Cards for These Marvel Stars?’_ it read, and your eyes nearly bugged out of your head. 

“What in the hell?” 

“Look really close at the picture, Claire,” Chace urged, and your eyes were scanning it again, Sebastian doing the same thing over your shoulder. 

“Jesus Fuck, those morons…” Sebastian cursed, and you looked to him to point it out. Maybe it was because you weren’t quite awake yet, but you still hadn’t seen anything beyond the two of you having been caught having an intense kissing session in the middle of some Christmas trees. Which was embarrassing enough on its’ own – the two of you looked like a couple of college kids who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. 

“Your necklace draga; it’s resting on your hand and it looks like a fucking ring,” he sighed, adjusting the screen and zooming in. Then you saw it as well; your coat just perfectly hiding most of the chain, the pendant sitting on your hand, the sparkle just being picked up by the camera in just the right place. You groaned and flopped back on the couch against your boyfriend, who plucked the phone from your fingers to read through the article properly himself. 

“Well at least they think it’s adorable, although they’re basically tearing me up for not waiting until Christmas to propose properly because that would be so much more romantic,” he drawled, handing the phone back to Chace. “That and the whole fact where I’m older than you and we’re really rushing into it because you seem like a smart girl who could do better.”

“They did _not_ ,” you gasped, pulling it back. Chace let his phone be pulled from his fingers without so much as a complaint, blue eyes a little morose as he took in the two of you trying to wrap your heads around what was going on. There was only eight years between the two of you, and while on occasion you noticed it – in the fact that his friends seemed a lot more ‘settled’ into their lives, more of them married or engaged or having families than yours, and the whole settling down yourselves thing – most of the time and especially in the day to day life, the two of you didn’t notice the difference. Never had, the same way you’d never experienced it with Chris. Even ‘noticing’ it in Sebastian wanting to settle down and you not had never been attributed to either of your ages as far as the two of you were concerned; you simply weren’t there or feeling as established in your life and career as he was, and that could’ve happened regardless of the age gap. You’d seen it in your own friends and Sebastian’s as well. “It’s eight years – big deal!” 

“Oh yeah, apparently I might even be having a midlife crisis and chasing a younger woman to help combat it; that pops up every month or two,” he rolled his eyes, before kissing your temple. “You know I don’t care about that, right? I mean, I know I’m older, we’ve celebrated birthdays together, it’s whatever.” 

“Doesn’t mean they should be throwing it in your face or saying it’s a reason for things to not be good between us! Look at Blake and Ryan! They’ve got an age gap and they’re so adorable and happy!” you grouched, and Chace nodded, looking a little too rough to be properly contributing to the conversation. 

“They got a lot of flack too at the beginning until the general public realized they were in it for the real deal. I promise it doesn’t bother me, as long as it doesn’t bother you,” Sebastian reiterated and kissed you softly again, keeping it chaste as Chace was in fact sitting a few feet away. You leaned against his solid chest, breathing in the earthy, distinctive male smell that was Sebastian and felt a little tension drain from your body. He had this unbelievable calming effect on you that nothing else could seem to match. 

“So what do we do?” 

“Well, first of all I vote we call our PR people and let them know we are not, in fact, engaged,” Sebastian said, and you nodded, getting up to get said phone and text poor Kelly who was probably already celebrating with her family. “Then… I’m not exactly sure what the best thing is. Probably tell our parents before this circulates too hard?” 

“Maybe get papped out and about without a ring on in the next few days?” Chace suggested, still sipping at his coffee and looking like he’d been drug through a knothole backward. “I know it’s shitty to have to deal with them but once people see you aren’t wearing a ring it might make a difference.” 

You quickly retrieved your phone – already blowing up with messages from your friends who’d seen the article wondering if you’d gotten engaged and hadn’t shared the news, and groaned. If they knew it would only take an hour or so before your parents were texting and calling wondering whether or not to start telling family members who weren’t as connected with the internet. That would be a whole lot of fun.

Sebastian and Chace were still quietly talking, Sebastian’s hair now standing up on end as he’d been running his fingers through it. What a way to ruin a perfectly good day; with all this bullshit right off the get go. With your headache still at the front of your mind you quickly helped yourself to a glass of water and a Tylenol, before refilling your glass and bringing it with you as you settled back onto the couch beside your boyfriend, feeling his arms wrap protectively around you as his chin rested on top of your head. 

“So, come to any conclusions?” you asked, and Sebastian sighed. 

“I hate it, but I think Chace’s idea is probably the best one. We release a statement that we aren’t engaged and probably just have to let some people photograph us without any ring for it to get through peoples’ heads,” he admitted, and buried his face in your hair for a moment. “Sorry draga.” 

“Or, we can do this,” you decided, pulling up Instagram and snuggling back into him better, turning slightly to find a more flattering angle. You then held up your bare left hand and made a goofy face, and after a moment Sebastian took the hint and did the same. It took a few shots to try and remedy the ‘got drunk the night before and just rolled out of bed’ look from the photos, but once you had a good one you quickly edited it – just to help the colors and reduce some shadows from both of your faces, and added a quick caption and posted it. 

“Does this sound okay? _Hey everybody! No ‘ringing’ in the holidays going on in this house_ And a winkey face, then; _Lots of love and happy holidays from the two of us!_ ” you read out what you’d written, and Sebastian nodded. 

“Sounds perfect and just like you. Mind if I steal the same thing for mine?” he asked, and you nodded, sending him the picture, your phone dinging when he posted and you were notified of it. “That’ll catch a few hundred-thousand people’s attention between the two of us, at least.”

“Good call, I hadn’t thought of that,” Chace agreed, and then you heard stumbling and mumbling that signalled Lizzie had rejoined the world of the awake before she walked into the hall, blinking sleepily at the three of you up and seated in the living room. 

“Why’re you all up so early?” she asked, and you gave her a small smile. 

“We have to field some PR,” you explained, and she nodded, before gesturing to the bathroom. You grinned before realizing that she hadn’t really brought stuff – not having expected to stay over – and that there wasn’t much for means of toiletries in regards to showers in the main bathroom. Sebastian looked to you, realizing the same thing, before clearing his throat. 

“Uh, if you want to use our bathroom you can; Claire’s got shampoo and everything in there, as long as you don’t mind the mess,” he called out, and you got as enthusiastic of a thanks as Lizzie could muster as she wandered into his room, closing the door behind her. Moments later the shower kicked in, and you rolled your eyes. She hadn’t grabbed a towel. In ten minutes you’d have to go save her, but Sebastian simply shrugged and hugged you close. The lack of toiletries in the bathroom had never mattered because aside from you – your shower things stayed in his en-suite bathroom – any other guests usually brought their own.

That was when you noticed his phone was going off again, and you picked it up to see that he’d managed to miss six of his mother’s phone calls already. 

“You have to talk to her puiut, or she’s gonna catch the next train out freaking out that we’re getting married,” you told him, and he nodded, before selecting her contact and connecting the call. It took half a second for her to answer and from Chace’s expression even he could hear Etta’s excited mix of English and Romanian coming through the speakers. 

“Mama, Mama! Calmeaza-te!” he said, and blew out a quick breath. “Just… please! Let me talk? We’re… Mama we aren’t getting married!” he blurted, and you heard the dead silence on the phone line, and squeezed his knee for support. 

_You what?_ Her voice came through quietly, and Sebastian sighed before he was pulling you in close again, his thumb stroking your arm. You snuggled in, knowing he needed the reassurance of you being there.

“We aren’t engaged, Mama; I didn’t ask Claire to marry me. Somebody took a picture of us and her necklace was sitting just right and it looked like a ring, but it wasn’t,” he continued, and you heard the little – dare you say disappointed – sigh she let out. 

_Oh drag, eram atât de încântat pentru tine…_ she told him, and while you didn’t understand the words aside from her calling him honey, you could hear in her voice that she was disappointed in his debunking of the news. 

“Mama e în regulă, e mult timp pentru asta. Chiar nu am fost împreună atât de mult, îți amintești?” he replied, and you and Chace shared a slightly bewildered look at meant neither of you understood a word of what he was saying before you felt Sebastian’s hand on your arm grip you just a little harder, letting you know he was being very attentive to your body language and that he was worried about you. Your phone went off then, your mom’s picture coming up on the call display, and you sighed and excused yourself to answer the call and take Lizzie a towel all in one go. 

“Hi mom,” you answered, trying to sound chipper as you knocked on the bathroom door and whispered to Lizzie you’d set a towel on the counter for her. She sighed and gratefully thanked you before you walked back into Sebastian’s room and collapsed on the bed. 

“Hi honey. So, according to your friends there’s a picture of you all over the internet saying you and Sebastian are engaged? Why did you not tell us sweetheart; we’re so happy for you!” that was a lot more to the point than you had expected. 

“Apparently; we just heard about it this morning too. But it’s not true; he didn’t propose, we aren’t getting married, we were just out looking for a Christmas tree,” you quickly told her, and heard her little _hmph_ that meant she wasn’t quite convinced. 

“And why would he be kissing you like that if something big _hadn’t_ happened?” she asked, and you groaned. 

“Mo-om,” 

“Claire?” 

“We… ugh. It was just… exciting and sweet and a little romantic and we went with some friends to look at trees and just wanted a moment to ourselves and somebody caught it on camera. He’s never done this before; both of us doing the whole decorating and doing Christmases with the parents together and whatever. Like doing Christmas as a family with his partner included. And I mean, I did that with Jake that Christmas we lived together but this? It just feels different,” you admitted, and heard a happy little sigh. 

“Because he’s the right one, honey that’s exactly why it feels different. I’ve never seen you as happy with someone as you are with him; I just can’t wait until he _does_ put a ring on your finger and I can say ‘I told you so’ as much as I want,” your mother gloated, and you groaned, burying your face in your pillow. Sometimes overly supportive parents were worse than the other way around. 

“Mother…” 

“What can I say? You two are going to have gorgeous little babies, and you can’t deny that man wants nothing but you sweetheart. It’s nice to know somebody else loves our baby and thinks she’s as wonderful as we do,” she pointed out, and you couldn’t even argue with her. Sebastian had made it so very clear that he did, in fact, want marriage and those ‘gorgeous little babies’ on more than one occasion.

“No comeback? Claire, you aren’t—”

“NO!” you nearly yelled, face turning bright red. “No, most definitely not. No babies here, not for quite a while.” 

“Oh honey you almost gave me a heart attack! Don’t do that!” 

“I didn’t do anything!” 

“You didn’t _say_ anything and that’s different!” she argued, before you were shaking your head. “Although I wouldn’t mind a Christmas surprise down either of those lines. Just to plant that in both of your minds.” 

“Mom I don’t _need_ to plant that in his mind. It’s very much already there,” you sighed, and she went incredibly quiet. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, it is. We’ve talked about it; I’m just… I’m not ready for all of that yet, and he knows and he’s okay with it. It’s not like we’ve really been together all that long, either,” you said, and heard her make a little sound in her throat. 

“That’s understandable sweetheart, we aren’t pushing you. Just don’t make him wait too long; a man like that isn’t going to stick around forever in hopes that you’ll eventually get on his level, and none of us want you to lose him because you just aren't sure,” she said, and after a few more quick exchanges you made up a white lie about having to speak to your PR about the picture – which wasn’t false, just that you were emailing rather than calling – and hung up. That awful sense of dread you’d been carrying off and on for months was in your stomach again and seeping into your muscles and bones. Even your _parents_ thought you needed to get your shit together and be ready for the commitment of marriage and kids with Sebastian, and they were the ones who had enforced a strict no dating rule until you were sixteen, and an even stricter chaperone rule from then until you’d moved out. How could that not be a sign? 

“Hey, you okay? I’m stealing these sweats by the way,” you looked up to see Lizzie exiting the bathroom, towel wrapped tight around her as she was going through the few clothes you had hanging up in Sebastian’s closet. In Lizzie’s defence, you kind of had stolen them and they were now hanging on ‘your side’ of the closet.

“Oh, those ones are Baz’s,” you told her, and she gave you a funny look that almost made you giggle before pulling out a black pair that were indeed made for women and not your boyfriend when he was on the leaner side. After sliding them on and stealing one of your t-shirts (which she promised she would actually return) she flopped onto the bed beside you. 

“You okay? I heard you like yell ‘No!’ on the phone,” 

“Mom said something and I didn’t respond quick enough so she thought I was pregnant,” you rolled your eyes, and Lizzie’s widened to the size of saucers as her mouth hung open. The same reaction you’d have had if you hadn’t had to put your mother straight about it.

“No…” 

“Yeah, needless to say I panicked a little,” you managed a tiny sad smile for her as Lizzie pulled you in to a side hug. She understood, thank God, exactly what all was going on. You talked to her about it probably more than you spoke to anybody else – Annie included.

“So what’s actually got you upset?” 

“My mom basically told me I better not make Baz wait too long on the stuff like marriage and kids or he’s going to leave me,” you whispered, and Lizzie let out the most scandalized sound you’d ever heard from her. Even with her hair wet an as-of-yet uncombed mess, she looked as if you’d just told her you’d decided to move to Alaska and become a hermit never to be heard from again. Like what you’d said was too crazy to understand.

“She did not! That’s terrible!” 

“They love Baz, Lizzie; mom was calling all excited that we’d got engaged and only a tiny bit disappointed I hadn’t told her already. Like, I’m so happy they love him but like holy shit…” 

“That’s so weird for your mom to be bugging you about the whole kids thing; you’ve got lots of time, you and Sebastian have only been together a little over a year, nobody should be pressuring you into kids. I’ve had dresses for over a year and looked back and wondered what the hell I was thinking – I don’t know how people can get _married_ that fast,” she told you, and made you crack up finally at just how sweet and honest she was. 

“Thanks Liz; I appreciate it,” you hugged her back, and she shrugged. 

“Well it’s true! I’m just saying it like it is. I know it’s your first Christmas really ‘together’ and all, so don’t let anybody spoil it okay? It’s special for both of you; I know last year you just Skyped and mailed each other gifts, so this is the real thing. If anybody outside of the two of you isn’t happy with how fast you two are moving you can tell them to go fuck their hat,” she snipped, and you laughed again before sitting up. Kelly was going to send out some press release-type things, to help spread the word that the photo was false and to help circulate the photo you’d sent that Lizzie had taken of the two of you the night before in front of the selected tree, Sebastian’s arms wrapped around you and your left hand on his forearm and definitively ring-less with your necklace hanging and shining with the light and the flash. And your Instagram post had already garnered like fifty thousand likes, so undoubtedly there was even more on Sebastian’s. 

When you walked back into the living room, Lizzie going into the spare room to brush her hair, the boys were really quiet, Sebastian looking like he was close to tears. 

“I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick,” Chace immediately made a break for it, and left you feeling awkward around your boyfriend for the first time, pretty much ever. Something had happened that you’d missed, and you weren’t sure what it was. But it had to have been monumental, because Sebastian looked unbelievably upset and he’d been fine, if not a little exasperated, when you’d left him talking to his mother.

“Hey, talked to your mom?” he finally asked, and you nodded, sitting down beside him. He put his hand on your knee, but didn’t move to pull you in close like you’d kind of thought. 

“Yeah, she was… excited, until I burst her bubble,” you told him, tucking an errant hair behind your ear. “Then she thought I was pregnant and _that_ kind of panicked me…” 

“Whoa, she thought…?” Sebastian’s cheeks heated up, and you nodded, feeling a blush taking over your own cheeks.

“Yeah… you probably heard me correct her from all the way out here,” you confirmed, and then he let out an awkward laugh and relaxed considerably. The traces of moisture disappeared from his eyes, and your heart pounded hard a few times as you watched him relax and come back into his own in a few moments.

“Jesus. I thought you yelling ‘no’ was telling her we weren’t engaged. You sounded… well draga you sounded a little horrified. But this makes a lot more sense,” he chuckled, and then reached out to pull you in and tuck you against his chest the way you’d expected. The poor guy must have been squirming in his seat and Chace had to sit there and watch it all go down, wondering what the two of you were doing if you were _that_ against being engaged.

“Sorry babe, she caught me off guard and I did panic a little tiny bit. Maybe a lot,” you kissed his cheek and he shrugged. 

“That’s okay. That’s an understandable panic. I would have done the same if Mama had assumed I’d knocked you up; she’d be here faster than you could say ‘shit’, and I don’t doubt she’d tune me in for it,” he grinned, and you raised an eyebrow. That was something you actually _couldn’t_ picture.

“I thought your Mama’s been bugging you for a while about settling down and giving her grandkids?” 

“Yeah, but she wants me married first, that’s the real kicker,” he rolled his eyes, and you couldn’t resist laughing at him. His blue eyes lit up again, having realized you weren’t horrified at the thought of somebody congratulating you on an engagement that hadn’t happened. You knew that Sebastian’s belief in marriage had been shaky at best, and mostly dependent on what his partner thought about it. But Etta remained steadfast in the idea that Sebastian – regardless of whether his partner was fine with not being married either – should be married before she got the grandkids that she wanted so badly was kind of funny.

“Ah, well, that’s pesky isn’t it?” you snapped your fingers, teasing him, and he laughed before kissing your temple. 

“I kind of had the feeling that was going to be a requirement for us anyway, but don’t tell Mama that; she’ll never let me live it down,” he whispered, and you giggled but kissed him sweetly when he leaned in. The two of you had kind of talked about it once; that you’d grown up with traditional ideas about marriage and always pictured yourself married before having kids. To his credit, Sebastian had really warmed to the idea of being married since that conversation and meeting and knowing your parents and knowing that’s something you would likely want.

“Maybe I’ll keep it a secret, we’ll see,” you agreed, and he laughed before snuggling in and turning on the TV to see what other Christmas shows were on, most of your worries forgotten for the day. At least until Sebastian’s mother arrived in the city that evening. 

“Oh! Hey; is your Mama okay?” you asked, and he nodded. 

“She’s… she’s a little disappointed it wasn’t true. I warned you that she might be dropping hints at us; she thought I just wanted to escape the Christmas pressure so popped the question early with just the two of us,” he groaned, and you ran a hand through his hair, attempting to tame the crazy waves as you pushed yourself up to kiss his forehead. 

“Poor baby; his mama just wants him married and taken care of... such a hard life,” you cooed, and he swatted playfully at your hands until he trapped them at your side with you in a bear hug. 

“Well, I’ve gotta be sure my girl is gonna say yes before I worry about all of that, and until then it is a little stressful being hounded by my mother about getting ‘too old to be a good parent’ to my possible future children. I’m in better shape now than I was in high school! It shouldn’t be a concern!” 

The whine in his voice told you he was still teasing and joking around, but it hit you again. Maybe if you hadn’t been so all over the place Sebastian _would_ have proposed during the holidays, gunshy of the idea or not. It sounded like it was something he thought over a lot, even though you knew the whole concept still unnerved him, thanks to his parents early divorce and watching their following respective relationships fall apart as well before his mother married his stepfather and they moved to New York. If his only concern was you saying _no_ , then obviously there was something the two of you needed to talk out. 

“Just tell her Jeff Goldblum had his first kid at 62; so you’re golden Baz,” you mumbled, and he kissed your temple enthusiastically and thanked you for the help before texting his mother, while you tried to zero in your focus on the television program that was on. 

Maybe everybody was right; that while Sebastian seemed to be the one for you that you might just have to sacrifice being ready for those things to make sure you didn’t lose him. But it seemed like either outcome ended with one of you being angry or bitter; you for your career being sidelined or slowed down early thanks to marriage and parenthood, or him for having to wait so long for you to be ready for the things he so desperately wanted. How in the hell did you try to solve all that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everybody likes the new chapter! A little bit of something different for their real-life to invade what's going on (because even though it's NYC they can't totally stay in a little bubble) 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Happy New Year! :)


	34. Chapter 34

“Mama, hey,” Sebastian’s smile grew exponentially when he threw open the front doors to the building. Etta had insisted she could cab over to his apartment from the train and that it was no issue, even though both of you had insisted over and over that it was no trouble to pick her up. So instead you’d met her at the lobby doors, both of you, so that you could take her bags and everything off of her hands and greet her properly. 

“Ce mai faci?” she asked, hugging him tightly and kissing his temple. Sebastian embraced her just as tightly, smile wide and uninhibited as he kissed her cheek back. It always struck you just how affectionate he was with his mother, and it always warmed you a little knowing that they’d been through a lot but had such a wonderful, loving relationship regardless of what they’d faced.

“I’m good, Mama. You?” he responded, before picking up her suitcase and the large bag that must have held gifts as she turned toward you with the same exuberance as she’d met her son with. Her thick, royal blue coat swished a little with the movement, her hair pinned up exquisitely yet somehow looking effortless, and the same kind of nonchalant charm and ease that her son had, a trait he must have inherited from her.

“I’m wonderful! Claire, my bibic, how are you?” soon you’d wrapped each other up in a hug, and you squeezed tight. Etta always made you feel right at home.

“Sunt bine! Si tu?” you asked, and her smile grew as she pulled away to hold you at arm’s length. The two of you shuffled inside of the doors to keep the New York winter away, the lobby much warmer inside as she beamed at your attempt. Your accent was still utterly shit, but Sebastian had assured you it was getting a lot better and that you were doing wonderfully. He wasn’t really going out of his way to teach you, even though he’d offered, but you were picking up phrases he used a lot, and doing a little learning on your own. Etta was always surprised and ecstatic to hear you come out with anything in their native language. It was nearly as much fun to surprise her with new phrases and words as it was Sebastian; she possibly even got _more_ excited than he did.

“Ah bibic you’re learning! Is Seba doing a good job teaching you?” she asked, going to grab her bags and then realizing they were in Sebastian’s grip. His cheeks were a little pink, and he shrugged. 

“I think mostly she just picks it up when I use it. I uh, haven’t really made a _point_ of teaching her,” he admitted, and his mother clucked her tongue at him before wrapping an arm around you and starting to head toward the elevator, letting her son bring up the rear. 

“Seba! If she wants to learn you need to teach her! Silly boy,” she lovingly teased him as the elevator doors dinged and opened. You could only giggle as Etta was soon visiting away, almost as if she’d come to see you and not her only child. He grumbled good-naturedly, but his smile was still very present as you caught her up on all things with filming and told her about the wrap party for the TV show and Sebastian flying out to surprise you. He seemed especially proud hearing you gush over how surprised and elated you’d been when you’d heard his voice and realized what had gone on.

“Well that was sweet of you, drag,” she allowed. She reached out to ruffle his hair slightly, and he puffed up a little at the praise. 

“He is sweet,” you confirmed, and saw his cheeks heat up a little bit but he shot you a wink as you got out at his floor and opened the door for him and his mother. He managed to sneak a peck of a kiss in, holding the contact for just an extra moment as his mother exclaimed at the decorating. 

“Oh wow! Minunat!” she smiled, taking in everything. Her eyes, bright and lively and the same shade as her sons, landed on the Christmas tree and teared up a little bit. “This is beautiful, dragele.” 

“We spent yesterday decorating; Chace and Lizzie came and helped us pick out a tree and everything,” you explained, taking the bag from Sebastian so Etta could put her gifts under the tree along with the ones that the two of you had already assembled there, while he put her suitcase in the spare room. 

“This is the first time I think he’s ever decorated, bibic; was this your doing?” she asked, and you giggled before sitting down beside her as she began pulling packages out of the bag and arranging all of them beneath the tree. It took a little urging but soon she’d shed her coat and let you take it to hang it up alongside yours and Sebastian’s, before you rejoined her on the floor.

“No, the tree was Chace’s doing. We’d bought a little one; the plan was to go out to your place upstate so Baz wasn’t going to bother decorating. I made him haul out the five things he had… and then after this we needed to buy other decorations… and well, you know Chace,” you laughed, and Etta joined in as she let her eyes wander over the apartment again. 

“I do. That boy and Christmas are something,” she allowed with a knowing grin. 

“That they are. So ta-da!” you opened your arms, and she laughed again before leaning over and pulling you into a hug. You couldn’t help but giggle and hug her back, feeling the same kind of pull to Etta as you always had with your own mother. The way she was unrelenting in her affection was wonderful, and the fact she was always so happy and willing to talk and visit, to bring you into her life and be a part of yours. Her thick, grey sweater was soft against your forearms, and you let your cheek rest on her shoulder for a moment before she pulled away a little.

“Oh! Before I forget, I made cookies; they’re in that Tupperware container…” Etta said, and you giggled as you stood up to pull them out of the plastic bag, taking them into the kitchen and setting the container on the counter. You’d done some Christmas baking too, knowing Sebastian had a sweet tooth and missing the smell of shortbread and sugar cookies baking as part of the holidays. It was something you and your mom had always done, and you’d corralled Sebastian in the kitchen long enough to help, even though he’d been more of a hindrance. He had been more concerned with stealing bits of dough to eat and making a mess of the sprinkles when he helped you decorate the sugar cookies. 

“I made some too; it just didn’t feel right otherwise,” you admitted, and Etta lit up as you put a mix of the cookies the two of you had made on a plate and brought them out to the coffee table. 

“Oh bibic those look wonderful! Did you somehow get Seba to help you?” 

“He begrudgingly did,” you chuckled, and saw her laugh and shake her head. “But I think he was pretty happy with having the end result so it was worth it.”

“He never was much for baking or any of this stuff,” she allowed, and took a shortbread cookie. A happy little sigh came from her as she bit into it and it melted in her mouth; you’d eaten too many of them already but knew you’d somehow nailed your mom’s recipe even with Sebastian’s interference. 

“Goodness Claire, these are perfect!” 

“Thanks; I got really lucky and they turned out,” you replied, and after debating a moment or two took a couple of Etta’s cookies. You knew she was a wonderful baker and cook, and really in the grand scheme of all you’d eaten already on your short Christmas break; two cookies weren’t going to make or break you. 

“Wonderful, bibic, absolutely lovely. I’m going to have to steal you away yet,” she teased, and you grinned. 

“You might have to fight with your son on that one,” 

“He’ll just have to visit more so he can see you,” she played right along, making you bust a gut laughing at her play-serious expression. She loved teasing Sebastian about not going upstate enough. “Then we all win.”

“That sounds like a fair trade to me,” you told her as you leaned back against the couch, savouring the incredible cookies she’d made.

“I must admit, I am a little sad though,” she sighed. “But more happy than sad.” 

“Why’s that Etta?”

“Well, sad for two reasons,” she started. “One, because I thought my boy and his sweetheart got engaged and then it wasn’t true. Which is okay, I’ll live I guess. And the second is the bittersweet one, I guess.” 

Your face was burning red hot at that, and Etta noticed, shushing you and cupping your cheeks. Sebastian _had_ warned you that she was hoping for a ring for you, you just hadn’t really expected her to be so open about it even though it was definitely in character for her. Etta had made no qualms about making it known she thought you were the _perfect_ girl to become Mrs. Stan and that she loved you very much. It made absolutely adoring her that much easier, even if it meant she usually had you and Sebastian blushing like mad. Apparently all of the girls she went to coffee with were constantly asking when she was going to bring you along and they were all waiting just as impatiently for her to announce her son was getting married.

“Oh Bibic it’s okay! It’s okay – Seba explained it’s just too early. I just don’t want him to lose a girl like you, that’s all. I know you aren’t going anywhere, but I’ll feel much better when he puts a lovely ring on your finger and I can call you my daughter for real.” She winked, and you managed a chuckle at her. “And the bittersweet? Seba’s all grown up; I’ve known it for a long time, yes, but now? Now he’s inviting his mama to Christmas at his own house, next it’ll be Christmas’s here because a little one doesn’t like long car rides or it’s easier for Bunica to come to the city than herd children to her house… it just means a new chapter. And I’m sad that this one with my little Seba is over but I’m so very excited for the next one.” 

“Oh Etta,” there were some tears in your eyes at that, you had to admit. There was no way for there _not_ to be, so you held her tight and she did the same, understanding completely. It was the utter acceptance and love that she seemed to have for everyone in Sebastian’s life, and the fact that this wonderful woman had extended it to you so fully was overwhelming. You’d only met Etta a handful of times in the past year and a bit, yet somehow that didn’t matter one iota to her.

“I’ve never seen anyone love my Seba the way you do, Claire. He lights up, you can see it in his eyes and on his face and hear it in his voice. That’s why I cannot bug him enough about it,” she told you, and you gave her a watery smile. 

“Mama… what did you say? Why did you make my girlfriend cry?” Sebastian asked as he wandered back into the living room, looking a little startled before realizing you were smiling as you wiped tears from your eyes. He’d probably gotten distracted tidying or doing something, and it hadn’t crossed your mind that he’d taken a while to drop off Etta’s bag in the spare room.

“Oh nothing Seba, just having _a mama și în curând fiică_ talk, drag,” she said, and you wished you understood all of what she said. Etta was usually very good about explaining her words when she spoke Romanian around you, but this time a wink and a sly smile in your direction, one that explained Sebastian’s dreamy expression and blushed cheeks, told you that you weren’t going to get a translation until you drug it out of her son. So instead you tried to file the words away, hoping you could pronounce them close enough later that Sebastian would understand and explain.

“Mama,” he complained, before walking over and plopping himself down beside the two of you, squirming to get comfy and knocking into you accidentally-on-purpose a few times so you’d laugh and swat at him. That effectively dried up your eyes while the three of you caught up on what was new with Sebastian’s mother. She and her girls had gone on a weekend trip last month, spending a couple of nights at a spa where they could visit away to their heart’s content, and Sebastian’s smile was contagious, how utterly happy he was for her. It tugged at your heartstrings how close he was to his Mama and how much and openly they loved each other.

“So, why so many gifts? It looks like there’s enough for a whole school here,” she teased, and Sebastian shrugged. 

“We have a lot of friends? Some of them are going to Lancaster with us,” he said, and soon had launched into explaining about the Friendsmas that was essentially a go for the twenty-seventh with your friends back home and the gift exchange that was happening, as well as having gifts for Will and his fiancée, Chris and his husband, and Chace, along with Annie and Lizzie placed under the tree and then the ones for your parents. 

“Will they ever come out to New York?” Etta asked you, and you shrugged. “It would be lovely to meet them.” 

“Oh hold your horses Mama; I know when we’re being cornered,” Sebastian smirked. “That’s not happening without promises on _paper_ that there will be no hauling my ass to a jewellery store or constantly nagging us about getting married. Or you driving us to a courthouse. Then, and only then, will they come to New York to meet you before Claire actually does have a ring.” 

That brought a bit of surprised silence over the three of you, and Sebastian’s eyes widened when he seemed to have realized just what all he’d said. After swallowing a little hard he turned to you, and you could see the moment he realized you looked gobsmacked but maybe not actually upset about it. The two of you talked about the future in a definitive way, of course, and he made jokes all the time, but there was a seriousness in his tone that told you he _meant_ every word of what he was saying. In front of his mother, no less.

“Draga…?” he quietly asked, and you could feel Etta’s gaze on you too. 

“You’re adorable, Baz,” was all you could mumble, and you buried your face against his chest to hide the blush. God what the hell was wrong with you for not wanting him on one knee ASAP and to have his babies? He was like a walking Nicholas Sparks novel… and he’d just told his mother that he very _definitely_ planned on asking you to marry him at some point. That had to be crazy brownie points somewhere too, right? If you were watching this moment play out in a movie you’d be a watery-eyed, snotty-nosed mess blubbering about how adorable the two of you were.

“Just for you, Dragul meu,” he murmured, kissing the top of your head and wrapping his arms around you properly to hug you for a moment. Etta looked positively delighted, and when you chanced a second look at her saw that her eyes were a little moist, she was nearly on the verge of tears as she put a hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay, bibic; you know he’s just a big softie for you. And you know we like to tease because we love you,” she soothed you, and you nodded, almost self-conscious that since Etta had been here you’d been an embarrassed mess and nearly in tears more than once. This time Sebastian had caused a few to slip out. 

“I know, it’s why I love him,” you agreed, quickly wiping a stray tear away. Sebastian kissed you softly then, letting his lips linger on your cheek for just a moment as he continued to rub your back. You could feel he was nearly humming with excitement at how everything was going so far. Both of you had been a tiny bit nervous to essentially be hosting Christmas with his mother, especially with the whole TMZ ring-thing. Mostly you were sure _he_ was nervous about how _you_ would take everything after the whole fake-engagement blow up.

“Seba, honey why don’t you get some hot chocolate or something started so we can have a drink and watch some TV and visit before we go to sleep?” she asked, and after kissing your temple he reluctantly did so. Both of you could tell that she had an ulterior motive for asking him, because normally Etta would rather do something herself than ask anyone to do it for her. Your suspicions were confirmed when she pulled you into a tight hug, the kind only mothers can seem to manage, and softly stroked your hair, murmuring at you in Romanian as she helped you to get a hold of yourself again while also making the tears threaten to come back. You adored how she’d immediately taken you in, no questions asked. 

“Oh bibic, I can’t wait for the phone call that you’ll be my daughter,” she whispered, and you squeezed tighter. “Seba’s never loved anyone as much as you, and nobody’s ever loved him as much as you. Except maybe me.” 

That was the ultimate compliment, especially coming from a woman who loved so fully and deeply as Etta did. It was obvious in the way she spoke to anyone, the way she was around her son, and even the stories she told. Of how she taught piano to kids because she loved helping them find a passion and a way to deal with the other things in their life they maybe couldn’t control. For her to say that you loved him as much and as deeply, when she was the epitome of a loving person, was incredible. 

“He’s amazing. You raised an incredible man, Etta, I just got lucky enough to find him,” you replied, and she sniffed. 

“I got lucky; he was a wonderful boy from the get-go,” she answered, and you both heard Sebastian groan from the kitchen. He must have been able to hear at least a little bit of what was going on. 

“Mama what did I say about telling stories from when I was a kid?” he whined, and soon the kettle was starting to make the odd little whistle, so you knew he was in fact making hot chocolate. “No embarrassing me to death, Mama.” 

“Who said I was doing anything of the sort?” she shot back, playful smile and a wink for you before the two of you settled onto the couch. “I was just telling Claire about that time you got lost on the bus in Vienna…” 

“Mama I swear to _God_ if you tell that story…” 

“What?” you asked, and he shook his head, jogging around the corner of the living room and into view, dragging his thumb across his throat in what was supposed to be a menacing way, that instead had you laughing while his mother chuckled to herself. 

“It was about a month after we’d moved and—”

“Mama no!” he was soon all the way in the living room; smothering his mother with a hug and making her laugh too hard to continue speaking. “You don’t want her to think I’m a moron and _leave me_ , do you?” 

“Oh Drag, I doubt that would happen,” Etta managed to say through her laughter, and while your curiosity was definitely piqued, you’d manage to tease the story out of your boyfriend when he was comfortable enough telling you. 

“Oh come on Baz, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad! Dad told you about the time I got my head stuck in the bannister!” you complained, and Sebastian snorted while Etta let out a cute little shriek of laughter. 

“Oh bibic, you didn’t,” 

“Yeah, I did. In my defense, I was only four and I watched the dog do it and we were like the same size. Dad almost had to cut the bannister to get me out,” you added, and the two of them had a moment laughing, before Sebastian kissed your forehead, his eyes saying a soft ‘thank you’ for redirecting the attention off of his potentially _life changing_ embarrassing story as he went back to the kitchen to attend to the now shrieking kettle. 

“Oh you are a darling, aren’t you?” Etta asked, and you rolled your eyes before making a silly face. 

“And somehow I managed to snatch up all of this handsome,” you joked, gesturing toward your boyfriend. Sebastian nearly dropped the two mugs he was carrying around the corner of the couch, as his face turned red faster than you could’ve believed was possible. 

“Claire…” 

“Oh Seba she is wonderful isn’t she!” Etta exclaimed, wrapping her arms around you and squishing your cheek against hers as she beamed at her thoroughly embarrassed son, who was acting like an awkward twelve year old instead of a thirty five year old. 

“Mama… Claire…” he whined, setting down the mugs and covering his face with his hands as he tried to make a hasty exit.

“But honey you’re just the _cutest_ , especially when you get all embarrassed,” you cooed, pulling his hands from his face and exposing the fact his cheeks were absolutely hot to the touch, his Mama could see his blush without moving from her seat. He whined and tried to shake your hands off of his so he could hide, but you shook your head and pecked his nose instead. 

“Draga…” 

“Oh Seba you have always been just the sweetest little thing,” his mother joined in, recognizing that you were giving him the same kind of rough time she liked to, as she gave his cheek a little pinch. With a groan he pulled away to go back and get his own mug of cocoa and probably let his face cool down while the two of you stifled some laughter at his expense. 

“Why did I ever let you two meet?” he lamented as he came back into the living room, carefully placed his mug on a coaster on the coffee table and then proceeded to dramatically fling himself at you on the couch. Once he was draped over you in the most uncomfortable way imaginable he let out a theatrical sigh, while you squirmed and wiggled and tried to get out from underneath him. 

“Because you love us, Seba,” his mother informed him, pushing some of his waves off of his face and cupping his cheek. “But if you don’t move you’re going to suffocate my poor bibic, darling.” 

“She’s tough, Mama. You’re fine, right draga?” he asked, and in response you managed to wiggle a hand free and pinch his butt, which made him yelp and jump up in a hurry. You hadn’t pinched to hurt, but mostly to just catch him off guard and surprise him. 

“Air… oh god…” you took a few breaths, overdoing it for Etta’s entertainment while Sebastian kept a hand firmly over his behind as if you were a threat to pinching him again. Once Etta realized _how_ you’d gotten her son up she was positively busting a gut laughing, and Sebastian’s face turned red again, even though he warily kept an eye on you as he sat down beside you.

“That was rude, Claire,” 

“So is suffocating your girlfriend, Baz,” you reminded him, and then couldn’t keep a straight face any longer, cracking a smile. He broke too then, and kissed you quickly, even though both of you blushed from having kissed in front of his mother. She seemed incredibly delighted though, and soon was starting up a conversation to help alleviate both of your awkwardness. 

You talked and visited, eating through the Christmas cookies until the only light was that coming from the Christmas tree, New York having fallen as asleep as the city possibly could, the traffic dying down completely and the night sky turning dark. There were still light in the streets; the bright spots of streetlights interrupted by traffic lights and lobbies that never went dark, always waiting to welcome their tenants back. The blanket of snow covering everything made the city look like a Winter Wonderland straight out of a fairy tale, and it had fallen late enough that it was still white.

“Well, I am going to call it a night. See you in the morning, my loves,” Etta hugged both of you, taking the empty mugs to the kitchen, although you reprimanded her, letting her know you’d wash them, and then she retired to the spare room. You stood for a moment staring out the kitchen window, unable to believe how breathtaking New York City could be like this. Everything was quiet, and soft, like a spell had been cast over the city.

“Beautiful view, isn’t it?” Sebastian whispered as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. 

“Incredible. Picturesque,” you sighed, as you leaned your head against his and let your hands rest on his arms, feeling his warm skin beneath your touch as the two of you watched. 

“Just like you, draga,” he murmured, kissing your collarbone softly, and then resting his chin again. 

“Just like you, puiut,” you countered, and he chuckled softly to himself before he reached over and opened the window, a gust of icy air sneaking in and chilling both of you. He then pulled out his phone to try and take a picture that would do the scene justice, without the window glare. The beginnings of goose bumps were starting on his arms, and you pressed back into him to try and salvage some of the body heat between the two of you. 

“That one, that’s perfect,” you told him, pointing to it, and with a nod he quickly closed the window back up. 

“I’ll send it to you. Kind of like… some extra incentive to always come back home, no matter how far away work takes you; to come back here to me,” he whispered, and your heart melted as you looked up into his eyes, so honest and vulnerable as he watched you. All Sebastian’s guards were down, as you turned in his arms and wrapped yours around him, before cupping his cheek. The stubble on his cheek was rough against the pad of your thumb, your skin looking dark against the paleness of his skin. 

“I don’t need extra incentive, Baz, I’ve got all the reasons in the world,” you replied, and felt the little intake of breath, letting you know he understood you were being as open as he was. The two of you were never secretive or guarded, per say, around each other, but the kind of people you were meant that it was rare that every single wall was ever down. Life had made it necessary, and to force every guard down for each other was about as intimate a moment as could be imagined. The air was thick around you, every small sound and movement more prominent as you took him in. 

Sebastian chewed on his lip a little, the pink color they usually were stained a darker red in the middle from being worked over. His hair, mussed and waving, was falling into his face. His eyes and focus were locked onto you, his heart pounding a little heavily in his chest where the two of you were pressed together. He was unbelievably handsome, heartbreakingly so, and yet somehow looked world-weathered and full of child-like innocence all at once as he considered your words and all of their implications.

“You promise?” 

“Nothing could ever beat this view,” you answered with a little smile, and then kissed his lips tenderly. He pulled you in tight against his body, kissing you with everything he had and you met every ounce of his passion. The edge of the countertop pressed into your lower back as he pushed you against it, large hands and long fingers pressing into you, to crowd you against him, his lips full and a little rough from having worried them between his teeth earlier. A hint of chocolate still lingered on his tongue, and you buried a hand in his soft waves, wanting to lose yourself in the amazing man you loved more than anything.

“I love you, draga,” he whispered, his forehead pressed to yours, his breath warm and teasing at your skin. It left a small trail of goose bumps, the skin standing up at the air whispering along it as your body responded to him. As if he’d brushed electricity along your skin with his touch and his breath, making your body hum and feel alive as he nudged you toward the hall and his room, flicking off the kitchen light behind you. 

“I love you too,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's some super sappy and adorable and sweet, hallmark made-for-tv-movie kind of holiday fluff! :) I hope you guys like it! (Etta is incredibly fun to write like this - I obviously have no idea what she is like but in my head and for this story she is just like a ball of happiness and love and that's a lot of fun. With an itty bitty mischievous side where she loves to tease her baby!) 
> 
> Hope you guys like it! :) 
> 
> (BTW, I _promise_ there will be a re-entrance of Chris in this story, I just love some of this stuff and have a few things that need to happen first. But it will happen. Pinkie swear


	35. Chapter 35

“Okay… so how long do they want you out there now?” Sebastian asked, sounding exhausted and a little exasperated. You chewed on your lip, completely understanding what he was going through. In the past six months you’d seen each other for maybe two of them. Work had picked up astronomically for you, and your final filming schedules for the Avengers had hardly even lined up before you were filming your solo movie, and once that wrapped you were going back to LA for more AoS, while Sebastian returned to New York. Your schedules had only overlapped for about three weeks, with there being such a large cast again, and that definitely hadn’t helped the situation. At least you hadn’t been filming when Chris had, even though it was sad because it was his last Marvel film – and just a few small flasfback scenes with Robert, Sebastian, and Mackie – but you weren’t sure Sebastian could have handled that situation. The stress was becoming killer, and he was having a worse time handling it than you were. You at least had Lizzie around, thanks to your characters being close, whereas he was kind of left on his own for a lot of it. 

“They want me as a season regular,” you whispered, shutting your eyes tight. This was something you’d always pictured as being happy news; able to see Sebastian’s face light up as you told him you’d landed the job, able to hear it in his voice how excited he was for you. Instead you were met with a small sigh and dull silence. You were working a supporting role in a rom-com, and so you were still away from Sebastian even when it wasn’t Marvel keeping you busy.

“I… that’s great, Claire, it really is, I just…” 

“I know, Baz but I can’t turn it down; even though it’s not _technically_ part of the contract it’s—”

“It’s an awesome opportunity, I know,” he nearly cut you off, and you found yourself swallowing hard at the sharp tone in his voice. You knew he was upset over how things had been going the last six months, especially since the two of you were supposed to be going for dinner and re-evaluating the whole living situation as per your agreement, and to be in a kind of shitty place was putting a damper mood on the both of you. 

“Baz I’m sorry,” 

“Shit, no I’m sorry. I really am excited for you Claire, I’m sorry I’m just in a shitty mood and I’m taking it out on you. It’s not fair; I’m sorry draga,” he sighed, and you could almost hear him pinching the bridge of his nose, could imagine him pacing his apartment as he did so, his bare feet padding softly on the hardwood. 

“It’s okay Baz,” you mumbled, playing with a loose string on your comforter, knowing you were going to need to call Lizzie after all was said and done, maybe Annie too for some more emotional support. You were scared Sebastian was slipping away, both of you becoming too overwhelmed in the shit going on in your separate lives to work on being together. And knowing how outwardly unhappy he was about seeming to be even farther from living together than you had been six months ago only made it worse. 

Etta had called you last month, just a day after your usual bi-weekly chat, worried because Sebastian hadn’t sounded like his usual self on the phone. You’d been heartbroken, trying to explain that the two of you weren’t getting to see much of each other and work schedules meant it was hard to even get a decent phone call a couple of times a week, that the stress was overwhelming. 

She’d been nearly in tears, fretting over the two of you; that your health was being compromised because she knew Sebastian’s was, and that your relationship could suffer because of all the craziness. That Sebastian had confided in her that he was petrified that this scale of work was going to pull the two of you apart. Apparently the thought of Sebastian losing you was enough to put her in tears and you’d been a mess, calling Sebastian in the middle of the night several hours later, even though you _knew_ he’d be sleeping because you just couldn’t handle not talking to him after that. Knowing that the two of you were not talking about things as much _because_ it was so difficult to even have happy conversations, let alone burdening each other with what was causing you stress, was hard to handle and had meant a teary, painful, late night Facetime because neither of you could stand to not see the other while talking. That was a huge wake up call in itself for the two of you. 

“No… fuck draga I’m really sorry. You should be celebrating. I’ll… what’s your schedule like this week and next week?” he asked, and you put him on speaker quickly while you checked your phone. You had two days off back-to-back but that was it. At least for the next couple weeks.

“I… I can fly out Saturday afternoon and spend all Sunday with you babe, but I have to be back on a plane Monday for meetings and stuff for the new series,” Sebastian’s voice was heavy as he realized yet another attempt to get together was foiled by your schedules. It made you bite at your lip, knowing that this would only sink his mood some more. Maybe before you called your friends for an emotional SOS you’d call Chace to go check in on your boyfriend, because he was worrying you. 

“Is that going to be too stressful babe? I know you’re excited for this show,” you worried, and heard him sigh. The sound was harsh, not sad or disappointed as his words had led you to believe they would be, and there was almost a hint of a growl in his voice. None of this was like Sebastian at all, and only added to your concern. 

“Do you not want me to fly out?” that slight, sharp edge was back in his voice, likely due to exhaustion and anxiety, but it still made you wince a little. Sebastian had never gotten short with you over something like that – he hardly got short with anybody over anything, and you knew that it meant something was wrong. A giant red flag waving right in front of your face, and even though it hurt you knew he was obviously experiencing a lot worse to be acting like this.

“Of course I want you to fly out Baz, you know that,” you quietly answered, and heard the shake in his inhale. It was like he flip-flopped back and forth, unable to keep a hold on what he was feeling. 

“Fuck Claire… why do you even put up with me like this? I’m so sorry,” it took seconds for his voice to waver and for him to sniffle. His emotions had been so all over the place the last few weeks, and you knew he carried a lot of guilt for when things got the best of him and he acted out. Even if he needed some way to let some of it off of his chest, both of you knew this wasn’t the way he wanted it to happen. It was like his emotions kept swinging between uncontrollably upset and almost accusing, his overworked brain jumping from one thing to the next and not giving him time to process. 

Chace had called you too, worried and wanting to let you know that when Sebastian got too overwhelmed, mired down in anxiety and stress that sometimes he could withdraw a bit, and kind of lose his hold on his emotions, that sometimes it made him do or say things he never would. Like the anxiety and fear rooted themselves so badly into his mind that his worst fears seemed like they were impending rather than just something he had thought up. It would even keep him up at night, pacing and panicking, and more than once it had nearly broken him to the point where Chace and Will had hauled him to a therapist before calling his mother. Chace had let you know all of this, even though he knew it would be difficult but stated that you needed to know, and that if you ever needed help or advice or even someone to talk Sebastian straight in person while you were gone, to call him, regardless of what time it was. That he couldn’t bear to think of the two of you fighting or having problems because neither of you were coping well and Sebastian let the anxiety take over instead of reaching out for help, either to you or anybody else, and so wanted to make sure you knew it wasn’t really _him_ talking but the _anxiety_ when shit like that happened. 

Sebastian had even broken down over it, after the first day he’d been really, outwardly agitated over the distance, and you’d spent the night at Lizzie’s bawling over the fact he’d been crying; painful, chest-wracking sobs as he worried that the anxiety was getting to be too much, that he couldn’t seem to pull himself together worrying about the two of you and the fact that he knew it was too much and that he was ‘letting’ it seep into his daily life. He was already panicking about letting it affect your relationship to the point that you couldn’t handle it anymore, that he was nearly paralyzed at the thought of losing you over something like this. 

It was the dream; to be busy working, _acting_ , but now that both of you had it all at your fingertips it could cause you to lose each other, and Sebastian had tearfully admitted that if it was too much he’d give it up if it meant keeping you. That he’d been so worried about bothering you on set that he hadn’t been telling you the worst of things, trying to keep the conversations the two of you had happy and upbeat, clinging to that to try and manage. The fact you’d been obsessing over the same fears hadn’t helped, and at least now the two of you were being more open about the anxiety and everything, and had friends who understood and were trying to keep an eye out for you. Chace and Will had been unbelievable in helping Sebastian, and Lizzie was just a godsend. But it didn’t make it hurt any less when it was still Sebastian that the words were coming from. Hearing him fall apart after realizing what he’d done or said was even worse.

“Because I know this isn’t you; I know you’re tired and upset and overwhelmed and I wish I knew how to help you better,” you explained gently, and heard him let out a bark of a pained laugh. 

The plain, bare walls of the apartment Marvel had rented for you while filming was mocking you; so similar to that of the one you’d been in during your first Avengers movie. Of the one you’d shared with Chris. And all these walls did was make you feel lonely and like they were closing in, because it wasn’t home and it wasn’t right but you had no other option. The last rental-white apartment you’d lived in Sebastian had avoided because of how quickly you’d moved with Chris; now he wasn’t here because of how slowly you were moving with him and he’d agreed to work projects while you were shooting. It was like a painful, karma-induced full circle that kept pushing him away. 

“I don’t think anything can help me more than talking to you, draguta,” he answered, voice soft and sounding more like himself, even if he was on the verge of tears. 

“Are you okay? Baz?” you asked, and heard him freeze, even holding his breath for a moment or two before he swallowed hard enough you could hear through the phone line. His breathing had become more ragged, uneven, and your own heart was beginning to pound in your chest with worry for him. 

“I’m not sure,” he allowed, and your fingers itched to put him on speakerphone and text Chace that instant, to get his ass over to your boyfriend’s apartment as quickly as he could. Sebastian was terrible for trying to hide what was going on, simply because he didn’t want others to worry about him. He was always so concerned for everyone else, usually choosing to go to his therapist first and start working on things before broaching the subject with anyone, even you. But sometimes he just shoved it all down and put on the happiest face he could manage for everybody, even though it did nothing but cause him pain. For him to admit this was a little disconcerting, in all honesty, especially the raw, pained edge in his voice. “There’s… Claire there’s something I’ve gotta tell you.” 

Ice water being dumped over your head would’ve felt better. Less shocking. Less intimidating. Less terrifying. It was like he’d reached into your chest and wrapped his hand around your heart, and you were just waiting to see if he was going to tear it out or not. There was already moisture pooling behind your eyes and you didn’t even know what he was going to say. 

“B-Baz?” 

“I… I saw Rita, a couple weeks ago,” he told you, and you felt that hand in your chest twist a little. He’d been with her for something like three or four years; he’d loved her, had wanted to marry her. You knew he had, and he’d been very honest talking about the relationship after the two of you had kind of established yourselves. There were no secrets about any of that between you. But as far as you knew he hadn’t been in contact with her since they’d split. 

“O-okay? And?” you managed to ask, and he sniffed. 

“She has a kid,” that rocked you to your core. That child basically symbolized all of the things she’d refused to have with Sebastian. No wonder he’d been edgy and upset; to think she’d left him because she _didn’t_ want kids and now had one after leaving him? That would’ve really done a number on him, whether he’d wanted it to or not. Sebastian was, most days, fairly self-confident, but that was a big low blow for anybody. Even if he no longer had any feelings for Rita, that would’ve shaken him to the core and you couldn’t blame him for it.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, and heard him take a shaky breath. 

“That’s not the worst part,” he said, and you squeezed your eyes shut tight, willing and praying with everything in your body for him to not say what you had a bad feeling he was about to. _No…_

“Baz…” 

“He’s old enough to be mine,” Sebastian whispered, and you slapped a hand over your mouth to stifle the sob that ripped loose. Surely Rita would have said something to him if she’d found out she was pregnant after they’d split, there was no way she’d have kept it from him. You weren’t even positive she’d have kept a baby regardless; she’d been dead set against having kids. You’d heard that from Sebastian himself not very long after they’d broken up.

“Baz…” 

“I’m… I asked for a paternity test. He just turned two, and I did the math. She won’t… she won’t say anything to confirm or deny he’s mine, Claire, but I have to know. I have to know if that’s my baby,” he finished, and you nodded, tears streaming down your face. Of course he did. You’d be upset for him if he didn’t want to know. 

But that didn’t make it hurt any less. Sebastian was having everything he wanted waved in front of his face like this awful reminder that you were currently the reason he didn’t have those things. Like the universe was cruelly taunting him and hitting him where it would hurt the most. God knew he would be devastated if the boy was his and he’d missed two years; but damn it would kill him if he had his hopes up and the boy wasn’t his. And if the baby was his, what was that going to mean for your relationship and bringing that baby into his life? 

“So… so what does all this mean, Baz? I mean… sorry I don’t know how to… if he’s yours, what do you want?” you choked on the words, not sure how to explain as it was, and he let out a shaky breath. 

“I don’t know, in all honesty I was going to wait until… until I knew what was going on so I could talk to you. I know you don’t want all this Claire but if that’s my _baby_ …” 

“Then you need to be involved in his life, Baz, I understand,” you whispered, and heard him let out a long breath. “That’s what you want, that’s what I want for you, I just… I need to know what you’re thinking here because honestly right now I’m feeling really lost.” 

Your brain was spinning out of control, all the ‘what ifs’ and maybe’s flitting around too fast for you to latch on and focus on any of them. It was an anxiety attack starting and you knew it, but didn’t want Sebastian to. He was under enough stress. Jesus and you’d just told him you’d be spending the next six months or so filming in LA. On the opposite side of the fucking country from him, from where he needed you, when something this monumental was happening. What the hell kind of girlfriend were you?

“Draga I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything, I just didn’t want you to be upset if you didn’t have to be, if he isn’t mine,” Sebastian explained, and while you knew he meant well it still hurt a little bit. “Of course if he’s mine I want to be involved, draga, because my dad wasn’t around and I can’t _do_ that to a kid. I could _never_ do that to a kid, but I can’t force that all on you and I don’t want to do that to you.” 

“So what does that mean for us? Because Baz if you’re in his life and we’re together… that doesn’t leave a lot of room for anything else; that’s a commitment to him no matter what. It’s not my decision to make, Baz,” you told him, and felt thick silence on the line. 

“What… what’re you saying, draga?” he asked, his voice whisper soft and full of trepidation. 

“What I’m saying is you need to make that decision on your own, Baz; there’s no worrying about forcing anything on me. If he’s your son, _you_ decide to what degree you want to be in his life and on what terms. I’ll… I’ll figure it out as I go, I guess. And if he’s not… then…” you were still having trouble piecing it all together, making the words come out, and tried to get a few stuttering breaths in to help calm yourself. 

“But, but Claire I know you don’t want—”

“Sebastian this isn’t us having kids; this might be you already having one. It’s different,” you told him, and he fell silent again. 

“Will you hate me? If he’s mine?” he asked, sounding like he already feared the answer. It broke your heart. 

“I could never hate you, Baz,” honesty made your throat feel raw as you spoke to him, and you sniffed again, hoping he didn’t hear. “I just… I wish you’d told me, right off the bat. I get why you didn’t, it’s okay puiut, but I wish you had. Now we just have to figure it out as we go along, okay?” 

“Okay, draga. I love you,” Sebastian was still quiet, and you nodded, fisting at the tears on your face as you tried to get your shit together to keep talking to him. 

“I love you too, Baz. Do you… Do you know when the results will come back?” 

“They told me it’ll take about three weeks to a month,” he answered, and you nodded. 

“Okay, so we’ve got three weeks to sit and wait and then we’ll go from there,” you decided, taking another shaky breath as you stood up from your couch and paced over toward the kitchen to stare out the window. LA was beautiful in the late spring, even if this view wasn’t the one you wanted to be looking at.

In all honesty, you longed for the winter you’d just had; a few busy and heart warming days in New York with Lizzie, Chace and the rest of Sebastian’s friends, as well as his Mama who came out to spend two days with the two of you, even after the whole ‘engagement’ picture scandal issue thing that had thankfully died down in just a few days thanks to PR and your Instagram followers. A cozy second Christmas waking up wrapped in Sebastian’s arms, the two of you nestled away from the world in your Lancaster apartment for the few days you spent in Ohio to see your family. If only you could turn the clock back. Even if you hadn’t had a lot of time together, what you’d had had been wonderful. Nothing had been on the radar then, it was just the two of you and trying to figure out when you were going to see your parents versus spending time with his mother. Those were the biggest worries you’d concerned yourself with and you’d do anything to go back to that at this moment. It had been late nights talking and day dreaming about the future, staring up at the ceiling of either of your bedrooms with Sebastian’s arms around you. Days filled with laughter and love and just an ease that hadn’t been present in your lives or even your relationship since then. 

Even the two consecutive weeks filming Avengers had been amazing. The two of you had shared a trailer – even though Mackie had teased you both endlessly over it – so that when there was any downtime you could spend it together. The anxieties had quieted down considerably, for both of you, feeling like you were at least coming home to each other through the busy days, or able to grab a quick lunch or say hi or whatever. Getting to go to work and come home to Sebastian had been wonderful, falling asleep with his strong arms wrapped around you, chest solid against your back as both of you were too exhausted to even talk when you hit the sheets, but knowing that just _being there_ was enough. That you were both so proud of the work each other was doing and getting to share that accomplishment, and it had been amazing. 

“Okay,” he agreed, and you ran a hand through your hair. It was getting long, the ends hanging past your shoulder blades, but it worked so much better for shots like this; bringing a little bit of an anime quality to some of the frames. Even if the hair was turning out to be a pain in the butt to deal with for your everyday life. You knew you were stalling, knew it was time for you to be as open as Sebastian just had been, but you were terrified it would be too much for him. When he got overwhelmed it was hard to pull him back out of his own head, and you were too far away to be able to do it in person.

“And I wanted to talk to you about something too,” you told him, trying to mentally prepare yourself. “I… Chris texted me this morning. He’s in town filming… he wants to talk. A sober, lay it all out on the table kind of talk.” 

“He what?” 

“Yeah, it surprised me too,” you agreed, chewing on your lip. “But I think we need to. We were really good friends before all of that stupidity Baz, and I think both of us miss him as a friend, even if we don’t admit it. And Scott… Baz, Scott is worried about him. Worried enough to have called me.” 

“Why did… what do you mean? Draga?” Sebastian sounded panicky now, and you put him on speaker to type out a message to Chace. Without exposing any details of the conversation you were having you told him that Sebastian needed somebody to keep an eye on him, that he was overwhelmed and panicked, and knew Chace would understand. He was a godsend who knew Sebastian inside and out. Within seconds of him reading the text message he’d responded with a quick ‘on my way’ and there weren’t enough words to tell him how thankful you were.

“The drinking’s been really bad. He’s been smoking like a chimney again, not eating right. He didn’t even go home at Christmas and Scott thinks it’s because he’s scared his family will do something if they saw how much of a mess he is,” you explained, and were again met with silence. Sebastian knew how much family meant to Chris, would’ve known those were all huge red flags that the man they’d both been such good friends with was falling apart.

“So why did he call _you_?” that small, barbed edge was in his voice again. Defensive. Sebastian was scared somehow. 

“I don’t know? Because when we were friends and then… whatever it was, we were good at reading each other. I could talk him down when he got anxious the same way I can with you. The same way you can talk me down when it happens to me. I think Scott’s just running out of ways to help his brother short of hauling his ass to some kind of center, Baz. That’s fucking scary. Did you… did you see the pictures Lizzie posted of that party in February?” you asked, and heard Sebastian shuffling around. 

She’d ended up at the same LA party as Chris had, and had gone to say hi. To say he’d looked awful had been, in Lizzie’s words, the understatement of the century. He’d looked sick; thin to the point she was worried he wasn’t eating _at all_ , and just wasn’t like himself. Lizzie had bugged him for a picture with her, as much to show him that he wasn’t okay as anything else, and nobody had really seen him or heard from him since. Even RDJ had sent a quick text out wondering if anybody had talked to him after he’d disappeared from the Marvel set. 

“So what does he want you to do about it, Claire?” Sebastian asked, voice still tense and you could picture him nearly vibrating on the verge of his own panic attack. You knew Chace lived a solid ten-minute subway ride away, and hoped he’d get there as quickly as was humanly possible. 

“He wants us to go see him, talk to him. Because he’s shutting everyone else out and he reached out to me to talk,” was your answer, and the heavy silence settled in again. He didn’t like the idea, you could tell; he was just trying to find a way to maybe make peace with it or say it in a way that wouldn’t hurt your feelings. You couldn’t help but fiddle with the necklace he’d given you for your birthday, waiting for him to say something, anything. 

“I… Claire…” 

“Baz,” you let out a long breath, wishing you knew how to better handle this situation, and heard something make a solid thud on his end of the line. “Babe, are you okay? What happened?” 

“Sorry, I just… threw a shoe,” he admitted, and you resisted the urge to laugh, the hysterical feeling bubbling up your throat because your emotions were dialled up to eleven. “I just… the logical part of my brain knows you need to talk to him because you need closure and he needs help but fuck if I don’t hate the idea of everybody thinking you’re the one who needs to put him back together. _He_ fucking hurt _youknowing_ this was out of character for him as he was over everything else.

“Baz?” you asked, glad to hear him make a little questioning noise in his throat. He was still listening. “What’s going on, babe? You’re not… you aren’t acting like yourself. Are you okay? Do you need me to come out there?” 

“I just… I…” with that he broke down. You could hear the ragged sobs that were being pulled from his chest, felt your own tears begin to roll down your cheeks from how broken he sounded. He needed you there, badly, but your hands were tied for the next few days.

“Baz? Puiut?” you softly asked, and felt your phone buzz in your palm. Chace texting to say he just got out of the subway and was a block away from Sebastian’s building; that he’d brought his spare key and would let himself in if he had to. That eased a tiny bit of your concern, knowing Sebastian wouldn’t have to be really and truly alone, but knowing you were so far away? That was killing you. 

“Claire I’m so sorry,” he wept, and your tears kept streaming down your face having to listen to him breaking down. 

“Don’t be sorry Baz; it’ll be okay, we’ll figure things out and we’ll be okay,” you insisted, and heard him gulping for air on the other end of the line. 

“But I just…” 

“I know baby, I know,” you cooed, doing everything you could to keep him from hearing your own distress and tears, knowing he needed the support more than you did in that moment. “We can talk it all out later, okay? Do you want to fly out that weekend? I know it’s still two weeks away and I know it’s only for a day Baz but we’ll feel better. Then I’ll talk to the producer and director here about taking a few family days to come out and see you.” 

“Y-you’d do that? I’ve been a fucking ass the whole time we’ve been talking and you still want to come see me? God draga I’m surprised you haven’t told me to fuck off yet,” he sniffed, breaking your heart all over again. It was painful how down he could get on himself, how terribly his anxieties were eating at him that he was worried and partially expecting you to leave in some capacity. It made another rush of tears spill down your cheeks.

“Of course I want to see you Baz; you’re my boyfriend and I love you. So, so much,” you gently reassured him, and heard a few more shaky breaths. “And I’ll always want to see you. Right now things aren’t okay, and I’m sure they’ll give me a couple days to be with you and help get things back on track, so we’re feeling better.” 

The sobs were getting quieter, less painful sounding, and you let out a long breath when you heard the buzzer go off in his apartment. You could hear Sebastian moving through his apartment, softly reassured him when he apologized for having to see who it was, before you were gently urging him to let Chace in. That while Sebastian didn’t want his friend to see him like this, it was more important that Chace was there for him and that Sebastian wasn’t alone. He even admitted to knowing you were right, but that pride was a small contributing factor. 

“He just wants the best for you puiut,” you reminded him, and he made a small noise in his throat. “So maybe you two should just hang out for a little bit? Watch some TV, order some pizza, and relax? Would that help?” 

Sebastian hummed and hawed over it, his voice gravelly from his breakdown, and then you heard the buzzing noise that meant he’d opened the door so Chace could come into the building. That was more like what you knew Sebastian on a normal day was like. While he was obviously afraid of Chace having to deal with him in crisis mode, you could only feel relief that Sebastian’s safety wasn’t in any kind of question with Chace there. 

“Sorry draga, I don’t want to cut the conversation short,” Sebastian pouted slightly, and you heard him slide open the deadbolt and then open the door. 

“I know baby. You call me the moment you need anything okay? I’ll keep my phone on me and we can text the whole time,” with that offer on the table he slowly agreed, and after saying goodbye several times – Sebastian apologizing again and again – you told him you loved him once more, getting to hear it back before he reluctantly disconnected the call. The moment the line went dead, your phone dropped to the cushions and you collapsed onto the bed, crying and sobbing in honest now that you no longer had to try and conceal it from Sebastian. 

Life was about to get a whole hell of a lot messier and you had no idea how to cope with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I managed another update!
> 
> So... I did the whole thing where you can set what day it posts so I have zero clue what actual _time_ of day this is going up... but likely when y'all are reading it I am on my first grown-up flight (as the adult, no more adult-like adults coming along) (my best friend is definitely more mature but we're the same age so it doesn't count) off to Phoenix, and to see the one and only Mr. Stan himself! (I'm still freaking out, can you tell I'm freaking out?)
> 
> So, my arm still looks like a mess, but that's okay. Hopefully he'll get a chuckle out of the irony that is a Canadian pulling a dipstick move and getting freezer burnt before meeting the Winter Soldier (I guess the Canadians are a few steps behind the Russians in this department :P and I'm aware my jokes are terrible. BTW how did Bucky never get freezer burnt? Just wondering...)
> 
> I hope you guys like the chapter, and if I can figure out how I'll even try and post a couple of pictures on here at the end of my next chapter (If anyone is interested in seeing the Grand Canyon and whatever grainy and likely far away pictures I can get of Seb, Chris, and Mackie during their panel, etc) if people are interested! And Steph, you know an email is coming your way lol, so no worries I haven't forgotten! Likely nothing will be up on here until the weekend of the 20th; I get back and go right into practicum and assignments and catching up on the homework I'm missing Monday and Tuesday so things will be crazy next week!
> 
> Again, thanks so much for your support and all your awesome comments; I love reading each and every one of them and you guys always bring the biggest smile to my face and totally make my day. So hugs and high fives all around and I will talk to y'all when I get back!


	36. Chapter 36

“Scott, I know, and I want to sit and talk with him but right now Sebastian’s not okay and I’m not sure I am either,” you sighed, and heard him do the same on his end of the phone call. Chris had been texting you faithfully once every day or two, even just a quick hello, usually accompanied by yet another apology, and then wondering if he could see you. Even just for a few minutes to talk, before he would usually apologize for bothering you yet again and then would say goodbye. Apparently he’d finally spoken to his younger brother about it, and Scott had called to see if you were okay and see what was going on. But the fact that Sebastian was still a broken up mess over this whole new ‘he might be a dad’ thing, you weren’t sure you were ready to add Chris stress to his life when he was having a hard enough time on his own. 

Between Chace and Will, you knew Sebastian had good support, but it was still eating away at you that you were so far away during all of it. And hadn’t been able to keep the tears at bay when Chace had called to check in on you two nights after Sebastian’s breakdown on the phone. So now the poor boy was worried sick about both of you and torn about how he could help. Sebastian had told him everything; about Rita and the baby that could be his and how he was petrified that he could have missed two years of his child’s life or on the flipside that he could have somehow hurt your relationship because of this. Thanks to the anxiety he suffered from regularly he’d sunken so low that there was no looking for positives; as far as he could see every outcome only had negatives and it was hard to turn him around after that. And according to Chace he was petrified that every outcome with that mess was going to lead to the two of you splitting up, and that made it all so much worse and much more painful for him.

“Are you guys okay?” 

“I… I don’t know, at the moment. We just kind of had our world possibly turned upside down and I’m stuck out here and in LA for the next like six months while he’s busy with projects back in New York and it’s just making for a really stressful time,” you explained, and Scott made a little sound that was somewhere between pity and comfort. 

“I’m so sorry Claire; I wouldn’t have called if I knew. I know how you’re feeling,” you knew he meant with Chris, who had continued to kind of close himself off from everyone from what you’d been told. The fact he was texting you had really surprised Scott, because it was all he could do to talk to Chris on the phone for five minutes. 

“I know, I’m sorry Scott. I have been texting him back, I just… I need to make sure Sebastian’s okay first before anything else, you know?” 

“I know, I know. I’m just… I’m glad Chris is reaching out to _someone_ , you know? And I’m sorry I’m probably being more overbearing than my mother about it,” he joked, getting a small chuckle from you as you left the hair and makeup trailer to head to your car to go back to your apartment. It had been a long day on set; interrupted for about an hour by a phone call from Sebastian – thankfully you’d explained that the two of you were in a difficult situation as best as you could and the director, crew and cast were being amazing about it – but that had meant making up for that lost hour after the day was supposed to be done. Now all you wanted was a glass of wine and a bubble bath and if only magic was real you’d have wished Sebastian to your apartment so you could hold him and be reassured he was really okay. Chace had hauled him down to the financial district to get out of his apartment and some fresh air and was now ‘holding him hostage’ at his apartment, where Sebastian would likely crash on the couch for the night. It made both of you feel better to know somebody was there immediately if something were to happen. Chace had spent a few nights on Sebastian’s couch the past week, for just in case. Thank God it wouldn’t be long before he was in LA for the day to see you.

“No, you’re not; I would be exactly the same way,” you assured him, waving to a couple of the sound crew guys as you passed them. “I totally understand. I just… I don’t want to risk making anything harder on Baz right now, if that makes sense. I want to fix things with Chris, you know I do, but Baz and I both need to be doing that, and I feel like leaving him out of it is only going to make things more difficult.”

“Is he… a little controlling? I’m just… I’m not prying, it’s just… seems a little odd that he wouldn’t want you to talk to Chris without him, if that makes sense?” Scott quietly asked, and you could imagine the pained look on his face as he tried to stutter out what he meant. 

“No, he’s not. He’s just… things have been rough the past few months, and I think he’s just too overwhelmed. He’s scared that I’ll get hurt, because Chris and I ended on such bad terms and he saw how it affected me; he’s upset that after all that I’m the person Chris has reached out to, I guess. But with all the other things that have been going on, it’s really put a lot of stress on both of us and our relationship, and I think he just gets so worried that one of these stresses could be the last straw, you know? And neither of us want that, so it’s more of a trying to handle what we have going on before adding to it,” you weren’t sure if your explanation made any sense, but your brain wasn’t able to put together any better way of telling Scott about what was going on. You’d been such a mess lately, going home and crying or having a mini-breakdown before calling your mom, Annie, or Lizzie, and then going to bed; putting on a brave face for the crew of the film again the next day, and so your brain was too tired for things like this. It just seemed like nothing ever relented and stopped and you just wanted some time to breathe. 

“Shit, Claire… if there’s anything I can do,” 

“Short of getting Sebastian’s project to give him more than two days off or the show or movie giving me the same?” you teased, managing to make him laugh a little bit. “I appreciate it Scott, but I think it’s something we just have to try and figure out. I’ll keep you updated if Chris really says anything… but… oh damn it…”

Your thoughts trailed off as you saw the man in question standing beside your car, looking almost frightened and embarrassed as he saw you coming. He’d shaved his beard for this new film, and it unfortunately only highlighted the new gaunt lines of his face; his cheekbones far more pronounced than they ever had been, and he fidgeted as he waited, as if he wasn’t sure if he should actually be there or not. His t-shirt hung off of his frame, and you let out a long breath as you tried to steel yourself. Chris had already seen you coming; there was no avoiding this now. 

“What? Claire…” Scott’s voice was a little panicked in your ear and you debated making a quick excuse and hanging up the call. 

“Chris is waiting by my car…” 

“Shit. Shit. Tell him it’s not a good time. Fuck I’ll call him and tell him it’s not—” Scott was immediately trying to problem solve, not wanting to do exactly what the two of you had just been talking about, but you quietly cut him off.

“God Scott, he looks rough,” you admitted, voice trembling. You’d missed Chris, you really had; the friendship that the two of you had built had been so close to your heart, and he’d known you so well. It would have been impossible not to miss that. “I’ll… I’ll just talk to him for a little bit; make sure he’s okay. I’ll text you.” 

With that you hung up and slid your phone into your bag, trying to square your shoulders and push away the myriad of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. You weren’t done being strong and putting on a face for the day, you told yourself, and so closed the space between you and Chris, trying to put on a small smile for him. 

“Chris, hey,” you acknowledged him, and his eyes snapped up to your face, looking red and tired as he weakly tried to do the same. The corner of his lips lifted a little, but that was all he managed. 

“Claire, hi, I’m sorry for this, but I just—” he was on the verge of a breakdown too, you could see all the signs that you’d known intimately something like two years ago, and remembered clear as day. They were the signs that you’d become skilled at hiding since you were a teenager; ones Chris had a harder time keeping from his face around people he was comfortable with, and always had. While he was an amazing actor he carried his heart on his sleeve and his feelings were always in his expressions. Especially when someone had known him as well as you had before.

“Chris, it’s okay. I… why don’t you come to my place and have dinner, okay? And we can talk?” you gently asked, and after warring with himself for a few moments he nodded. 

“You’re okay with that? Sebastian’s okay with that?” he asked, not moving from his spot beside your driver door. You took a deep breath, hoping you were going to be right about this. 

“I’m okay with it, and I’m sure Baz will be,” you told him, trying to sound reassuring. In all honesty you weren’t really sure that Sebastian wouldn’t freak out, at least a little bit, but seeing as Chris had kind of taken the waiting for everything else to settle down out of the equation, you didn’t see much choice. And with him being so keyed up there was no way for you to have this conversation out in the open like this. Undoubtedly it was going to end in some kind of tears from both of you and no way did any paparazzi need to be snapping pictures of that. It would only hurt Sebastian worse. Better to have a private conversation, be able to subtly check in on Chris’s well-being and then talk to Scott, Chace and Sebastian and go from there. You couldn’t brush him off, to leave him alone when he was in the same kind of emotional state Sebastian was; hardly able to keep himself together to get through the day. In no good conscience could you do that to him, regardless of what happened between you.

“Come on, I was going to make chicken burgers, if that sounds okay,” you gestured toward the passenger side, and after nodding Chris ducked his head and walked around the car, silently getting in and buckling up. You took a deep breath, depositing your bag on the backseat before getting in yourself. The drive was quiet; the radio the only real noise in the car, and you wondered how on earth you were supposed to bring anything up when you felt just so awkward. 

“Here we go, home sweet home in LA,” you announced as you opened the door and gestured for Chris to walk in. He managed another part smile, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he walked past you, blue eyes moving around the space. 

“It, uh, looks a lot like the place you had when we were filming together,” he quietly noted, and you nodded, swallowing hard. Thankfully he hadn’t referred to it as the place the two of you had lived in together. It was a little easier to kind of remove yourself from the memory that way. Realistically, the set up was quite different, but you could see similarities between this place and the last you’d spent a lot of time in in Atlanta, and knew Chris would see the same. 

“Yeah, rental white makes everything look the same,” you tried to joke, and heard a small noise come from his throat. At least he’d seen some of the humour in it. 

“Well, I’ll get started on those burgers… do you want something to drink?” you asked. Chris shook his head, awkwardly hovering before taking a seat at the island. He was fidgeting with a cigarette, flipping it over and over in an attempt to keep his fingers busy, and you watched him from the corner of your eye as you pulled chicken breasts out of the fridge and the other veggies. 

“Here, why don’t you cut up lettuce so we can make a salad?” you suggested, and Chris nearly jumped at your voice. “Unless you need one of those right now?” 

“I…” you knew he’d hated smoking, but it was so addicting, and especially when the nicotine sent a calming rush through the system it was even easier to get addicted in a high-stress environment. “I don’t want to need it… I just…” 

“I know, it’s hard,” you agreed, before slowly reaching out and pulling it from his hand. He didn’t resist, letting you take the cigarette and put it on the counter beside the toaster. “Baz hasn’t smoked in something like two years and still craves them sometimes. Do you want something to snack on right now? If you want to smoke, you can, but if you don’t want it we’ll keep you busy.” 

“Thanks Claire,” his voice was small, but the honesty in it spoke volumes, and you handed him a granola bar before settling your lettuce and vegetables onto the island in front of him, knife and cutting board and a bowl as well, to leave him to his task as a way to distract him. As you put the bowl down he held out the pack, and his lighter, silently asking you to put them on the counter out of his reach with the other cigarette. With a little hesitation you took them, putting the lone one back in the carton before setting them all down, letting him know if he really wanted it he could have it; you weren’t trying to say otherwise, just trying to help. 

“So, how’s the movie going?” you asked, trying to make some kind of conversation. Chris was zeroed in, heavily focused on what he was doing, and it took him a few moments to respond. 

“It’s been okay. It’s been a lot,” he admitted, and turned his blue eyes up to you for a moment before letting them drop back down to the tomato he was cutting. “But I really love the script and the story.” 

“That’s good,” you told him, having flattened out the chicken breasts and seasoned them, moving them to a pan to begin to cook. “That’s how I’ve been feeling too, lately. It’s been a lot.” 

“Sebastian’s been busy too? I’m surprised he isn’t out here,” Chris quietly told you, and you nodded. 

“Yeah, he’s been really busy. Which, I mean, is good, but it’s hard on him too,” you said, glad Chris seemed at least willing and able to have a conversation. Scott said he basically stonewalled anyone else, not wanting to have to talk. Even Lizzie was having trouble getting through to him lately, to even get more than a couple texts back was now unusual.

“Yeah, I can imagine,” he nodded, and let out a hiss a moment later. You whirled around, and saw he’d managed to nick his finger. As if you’d never stopped, immediately you were at his side, gently taking his hand in yours to inspect the cut. Chris was silent, head hung as he let you, before you led him to the sink to rinse it off while you got a bandage. It wasn’t an awful cut, but it was enough to keep bleeding even after applying some pressure. 

“Sorry,” he quietly apologized. 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” you told him, and gently squeezed his bicep before he went back to his seat at the island. You wondered if it wasn’t a bit of a safety thing for him; having the island between the two of you, keeping some kind of physical distance. You turned on the television, the two of you only commenting on the news stories as you finished cooking, and then the two of you sat down at the table to eat. 

“Chris, you’ve gotta eat more than that,” you insisted, seeing his half-eaten burger and hardly picked at salad. No wonder he’d become so thin. Normally he would have destroyed the first burger and been debating a second one at this point. 

“I’m really not that hungry,” he tried to argue, but your eyes caught his and saw his cheeks flush as he ducked his head. 

“Chris,” 

“’M sorry, Claire, I really am. I shouldn’t have… shouldn’t have bothered you,” he was scrambling, a little panicked, and instead you stood and walked over to him, putting your hand on his shoulder. Immediately he stilled beneath your touch, and you realized that today was the first time you’d had real physical contact with him since he’d left Lancaster. A quick forced hug at the movie premier had been expected, almost required to save face publicly, but this was the first time either of you had really voluntarily touched since.

“Chris,” 

“Claire I’m so, so fucking sorry. You have no idea,” he finally burst, and you realized there were tears in Chris’s eyes. He was sitting there, beginning to tremble, with silent tears moving down his cheeks. The air in your apartment had changed, become tense, and you weren’t sure what to do.

“Chris—”

“No, please,” he interrupted you, finally lifting his head and looking at you. “I fucked up, in the worst, worst way, and I hurt you so fucking badly. I can’t… I still can’t get over it. I can’t come to terms with what I did and knowing you _hate_ me…” 

“Chris I don’t hate you, I told you that,” you quickly assured him, putting a hand on his bicep to try and steady him, ground him as his emotions began to take over. This had been bubbling beneath the surface for months, maybe even since the two of you had stopped talking, and you knew how bad the blowouts could be when Chris was struggling emotionally. 

“Claire I basically _cheated_ on you and she all but threw it in your face! I didn’t even… fucking _realize_ until the next day… Afterward you wouldn’t even text me back; even now it’s like you can’t hardly even _look_ at me!” 

“Because it was hard, Chris! It’s painful,” you told him, before checking yourself and lowering your voice, blowing out a breath to take a softer, calming tone. “Because it really fucking killed me. You were my best friend, we’d made that stupid agreement and… and sometimes it felt like it wasn’t an agreement. I knew I shouldn’t have been so upset, but I mean, Chris we _slept together_ and then you didn’t talk to me, at all. I went to go and try to fix things, to talk to you, and you’d been bringing girls to your home. I had to see her smug little expression as she realized what was going on and she waved it in my face when she answered the door when I went to see you; you think that wasn’t difficult?” 

“I should’ve never ever… it was so stupid. But I was… fuck I was hurting so much; it felt like you ripped my heart out of my chest! You rejected me, Claire, and fuck that was _awful_. I had it slapped in my face that I wasn’t the kind of guy somebody like you wanted to be serious with! I wasn’t _good enough_ ,” he explained, and you simply stared at him. 

“I what?” 

“You didn’t want me, and I mean I’ve been rejected before but it was never as painful as having it come from you, like that. God, Claire – I was in l… you were my best fucking friend… I told you everything, and we were so close, I thought there was just no way we were meant to only be friends, with how I felt. I’ve never woke up to someone every day and just been like ‘yeah I can do this’ and never worry about what’s coming next, like I did with you. And to put myself on the line and have it bite me in the ass like that was probably one of the worst things I’ve ever felt,” he told you, and fisted away some moisture from his cheeks while you tried to figure out what the hell he was saying. He’d pulled away a little, fidgeting again beneath the table and probably aching for a cigarette to try and calm his nerves while your poor overworked brain tried to put it all together.

“Chris, I slept with you,” you reminded him, voice maybe a little harsher than you’d meant it to be. “I’d hardly call that rejecting you; that’s not what that was at all.” 

“Well not that part. I thought… I thought we could be together, for real. I’d thought… I’d thought we’d go on our vacation and I could lay it all out and we’d be together and happy, but then it never happened. I know… I know it was freaking you out, and that as much as the excuses to push it back were real that you were kind of looking for them, but I was too wrapped up in my head and scared to bring it up to you. And then when we slept together… it felt right Claire. It really, really did. Then the next morning you were so fucking _horrified_ that I was in your bed and that you’d crossed that line with me, I knew you didn’t want what I did,” he said, eyes staring across the table and out the window, trying to cut himself off emotionally from what he was saying. “And obviously I’m right, I mean, look at you and Seb. You’re amazing together. Mackie told me a while back you guys are really serious; like, long haul serious. Might even get married kind of serious. I uh, well _everybody_ saw those TMZ pictures at Christmas because they were everywhere after, where everybody thought you guys got engaged…” 

“I love him, Chris; it’s that simple, but I don’t know what you’re—” you told him, and opened your mouth to continue when he cut you off, blue eyes piercing and confrontational but _alive_ for the first time you’d seen since the blow out. 

“Well I was fucking terrified that I loved you, okay! My fucking _mother_ kept asking when I was bringing you back, how much she and my sisters were dying to meet you, how happy I seemed with you. Goddamn it Claire you’re the only person I’ve dated that she actually wanted me to marry!”

“Chris…” you were beyond shocked, and stood there with your mouth gaping open for several seconds. 

“I know, I know; it doesn’t make anything better or change anything, but fuck Claire… I’ve thought I was in relationships before where it might go all the way, be the real deal, and Mom always knew they were gonna be a bust. Do you realize what that meant to me? When I realized I liked you that way and _everybody_ was rooting for us? That you could be it? And I was a jackass and made a move on your birthday and you were fucking _horrified_ that you’d slept with me? How could I ask you to be anything else to me if the thought of having sex with me was so terrible? You couldn’t have loved me, not the way I loved you and I get it, but _fuck_ I never thought it would feel like somebody ripped your fucking chest apart, and to have to try and go on like _nothing had changed_? I couldn’t fucking do it,” he burst, and you felt hot tears starting to threaten your eyes as a hand came up to cover your mouth. You’d had no inkling about any of this, that Chris was having these concerns or thoughts going through his head and it was killing you.

“Oh damn it Chris, that’s not… I wasn’t horrified, not for the reasons you’re thinking,” you admitted, feeling that familiar ache in your chest. Sebastian meant the whole world to you, but undoubtedly Chris still held some part of your heart, mostly because you didn’t have closure. You’d loved him as a friend before anything else, and that would take a long, long time to fade or change. 

“What?” 

“Jesus Chris, I was so confused, but mostly I just froze; I couldn’t believe that we’d… and then you didn’t even give me time to process, you told me you didn’t know what you were thinking and stormed out. Fuck Chris I _liked_ you, as more than a friend, and I was scared I’d fucked it all up and lost you because we’d drank too much and had sex. God, you just _bolted_ out of my apartment and from Lancaster and left me in the lurch. I thought _you_ didn’t want _me_ ,” you told him, and saw his eyes snap back to your face, mouth dropping open slightly in shock. His whole body had gone stock still beneath your hand, and you could see his eyes moving slightly over your face as he tried to wrap his head around the new information.

“Y-you what? You liked me too? Shit, Claire I—” 

“Of course I did Chris! Sometimes it was so easy to forget… to just go along like we really were dating,” you whispered, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around yourself to create a barrier between the two of you, Chris too close for comfort now. You took a small step back, understanding now his earlier need to have the kitchen island between the two of you. The safety net that helped you to physically and emotionally remove yourself a little farther away from the situation. 

This was baring yourself in a way you weren’t used to, and your usual safety net – Sebastian – was too far away to be a lot of help for the aftermath. “You were my best friend too, you made me feel safe and important and a lot of other things I thought I shouldn’t have been feeling because we were faking the whole relationship, but shit Chris a lot of the time it didn’t feel like we were faking it. Like I was faking it. And that pulled my heart out because my parents thought you were gonna be it too; my mom and even Annie were always asking about when we were going to move in together permanently, was there going to be a ring… and that made it so much harder to keep pretending when I was scared I maybe wanted that too.”

“You wanted…Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, and you let out a ragged laugh. It felt like Chris was somehow twisting your heart and wringing it until the pain was becoming overwhelming in your chest. He looked like he desperately wanted to jump up out of his chair but was too afraid to do so, strong hands gripping the edge hard enough veins appeared in his arms, but he didn’t push himself up onto his feet.

“Why didn’t I say anything? I thought I was making a huge mistake! Being an idiot! Why didn’t _you_ say anything?” you asked, and he collapsed on himself a little, letting his hands drop from the table. 

“I… the same reasons, I guess. I was so scared of not being what you wanted, seeing as you agreed to fake date me I thought the idea of really dating me must not’ve been that great,” he mumbled, similarly crossing his arms in front of him, the same move you’d just pulled. 

“Look, Chris, I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you, because I do miss you,” you told him, and saw his face light up more than you’d seen in over a year and a half, unknowingly shoving a little dagger into your chest. “But I love Sebastian, and he loves me, and… and I can’t and won’t give him and that up.” 

Chris deflated a little then, and you couldn’t believe that maybe some part of him had hoped that outing his feelings would have become something. In a way you understood it, but hadn’t expected it. He knew you and Sebastian had been together for a long time, and obviously had a good idea about your relationship thanks to outside knowledge from Mackie and maybe some of the other cast members. Most likely it was the fact that some of that harsh tension had seemed to be vacuumed out of the air, leaving both of you exhausted and upset, and unsure of what to do.

“I couldn’t… I would never ask you to do that Claire. I know he loves you; I think he loved you when we were… us,” he choked on the word, not able to say ‘together’ because really you hadn’t been. His going to other women after a misunderstanding had been a clear indicator of that. 

“I just… I miss you so much. It feels like I’ve just been… empty. Everything I told myself I would never do to someone, I did, and I acted worse than an asshole and I hate myself for it,” he rasped out the words, and you couldn’t help it. You stepped toward him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he began to tremble and you felt his hot tears on your arm as he leaned into you. The tears welling in your eyes were dangerously close to spilling over too, but you willed them to stay put.

“Chris it’s okay,” you murmured, but he shook his head. 

“It’s not. I hurt my best friend, in a way you should’ve never, ever been hurt… and I fucked up my chance with you all in one go. To make it worse I’ve been an ass and I lost you over all of it and I just…” 

“You haven’t… haven’t lost me, Chris,” you told him, running your fingers through his hair, trying to calm him the same way you did Sebastian. “But things will be different. We’re starting over; square one, as far as everything goes; friendship, trust, all of it. And it’s going to be different because I’m with Baz, and you have to respect him and what he wants too, you know?” 

“I know, I know. He won’t want me anywhere near you, Claire, and I can’t say I blame him. If I wasn’t so fucking selfish I wouldn’t want me near you either. But I can’t… I can’t stand not even being able to talk to you,” he admitted, coughing a little as his words got caught on another small sob. “He lost it on me, the first time he saw me after it all happened. I kind of lost it too; because I was so fucking confused and hurt over it all. He’ll never forgive me, even if you somehow do, Claire. I just… I don’t know if I can never talk to you again even if he tells me not to. Nobody’s ever understood me the way you do.” 

You weren’t sure what to say to that, so instead you held him a little tighter and let him cry until the tears were gone. He wasn’t wrong; Sebastian might lose it and be angry over Chris wanting to be friends again. Even just talking about it still got him worked up a year and a half after the fact, because unfortunately Sebastian had seen first hand the effects your and Chris’s fallout had had on you. But if you and Chris could rebuild your friendship, you weren’t sure you’d want to never speak to him again either, even if it upset Sebastian. God even Annie would murder you if she knew you were even _considering_ being friends with him again.

“You’ve got to be honest with me Chris, one hundred percent,” you softly told him a few minutes later when his tears had calmed to occasional sniffles. “You need to tell me how you are and what you’ve been doing because you look like death and everybody is worried shitless over you.” 

He at least looked bashful; a hint of color on his cheeks that breathed a little bit of life back into him. 

“I just… kind of… broke, I guess,” he mumbled, picking at a little scab on his arm. He must’ve scraped himself on something a day or two ago. “I started smoking again because I didn’t know how to keep my nerves down because anytime I went to do something the anxiety got so bad, like everything was too loud in my head. Then I was so fucking paranoid that I was going to see you or Sebastian somewhere, end up auditioning for a part in a project you were part of… and I was a fucking coward. I couldn’t even handle the _idea_ of facing you after what I did. 

“All of it… it was awful. I’ve had my heart ripped out, fuck I’ve even been cheated on once and I know how awful it felt, and somehow I turned into the kind of person who could do that to someone I really cared about and that was destroying me from the inside out. I couldn’t eat because my stomach would get so touchy and then I just… wasn’t ever really hungry, I guess. I couldn’t sleep at night so I’d take some sleeping pills, or drink… Taking Dodger out was about the only thing I could find the willpower to do. I just hated myself for what I did, because how the fuck do I deserve to just keep going about my life after doing something like that, you know? I didn’t get drunk and fuck up, I just… I did it, because I was hurt and couldn’t man up and fucking talk to you. Scott was threatening to haul me home to make Mom get involved so I took this script; I mean I’d loved it before but I just had no desire for anything and so I was going to pass on it even though I hated myself for it. I’m a fucking mess and I know it but I can’t… can’t seem to fix it.” 

He was depressed; depressed and anxious and hurting… and alone. Even you were able to tell that was a huge part of the problem; Chris was a social person. He’d managed to isolate himself so completely that the thought of somebody interrupting his new solitude was frightening. Thank God he had Dodger or who knows what kind of shape he would actually be in. 

“We’ll help you Chris; this might not be something you can do on your own, but you don’t have to do it alone,” you told him, and felt him lean in against you, taking comfort in you being there. “We’ll help. Scott, your family, Robert, Lizzie… Baz and me. I’ll talk to him; I know he misses you Chris but he’s just… he’s hurt about it all too. And he’s got a lot on his plate; so just… don’t be upset if it takes him a while to come around, okay? But we’ll help you. First things first; no more drinking to sleep at night, please?” 

Chris nodded, before slowly reaching out and wrapping his arms around your middle, hugging you against him, and you wondered how long it had been since he’d let someone close enough for something like this. 

Too long, your brain supplied, as you finger-combed his hair and noticed his dark eyelashes were resting against his skin, eyes closed. It took moments for his breathing to begin to even out, and you realized Chris was falling asleep sitting in his chair leaning against you. 

“Come on, to the couch with you,” you gently roused him, and while he was embarrassed and insisted he should go home you gently stonewalled him, helping him to the couch and tucking a blanket in around him, a pillow beneath his head. Sitting on the very edge of the cushions you gently finger combed his hair until he could no longer keep his eyes open and drifted off. Once he began to snore softly you got up, cleaning up as much as you could without making too much noise, and putting what was left of Chris’s dinner in the fridge in case he got hungry. His cigarettes and lighter were still sitting abandoned on the counter, and you sighed as you left them be, before picking up your phone. 

If this evening had been hard, trying to explain to Sebastian was going to be near impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-Da! Here's a remarkably long chapter that's _FINALLY_ bringing what I've been promising you guys for several weeks now!
> 
> So.... what'd you guys think of Chris waltzing back into Claire's life? Was it what you thought? Is it a satisfying re-introduction?
> 
> While I (very) obviously don't know Chris, I kind of took his vice's from what I've seen - in the odd article here or there they actually talk about the fact that he smokes (this could be just a once in a blue moon thing or maybe he's quit since I have no idea, but it surprised the hell out of me) and that drinking is unfortunately a very common way for people to attempt to numb their vulnerability, pain, fear and shame, so that's the path he's chosen here. He also speaks quite openly about the anxiety that he suffers from so I feel that attempts to quiet that would also be quite in character (especially for the character in this story)
> 
> On a slightly interesting but totally non-related note, I had to make a small change here; originally the line was that “Baz hasn’t smoked in something like seven or eight years and still craves them sometimes. " because there's been a tiny mention here and there of Sebastian smoking back when he was starting out. But then through the _I, Tonya_ press junkets (And I apologize I don't remember which one it was) he actually spoke about having only quit about a year or a year and a half ago, and how it was easy to spend a lot of down-time on sets sitting in your trailer smoking cigarettes. Just thought it was an interesting tidbit to include and not just one character having smoked for the sake of drawing a parallel and for normalization for another.
> 
> Please let me know what you guys think! :) I love to read comments, thoughts, and criticisms!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:This chapter contains mature scenes and sexual content. It's pretty much the entirety of the chapter; so if you aren't comfortable reading it skipping will not really alter or take away from the rest of the story.

“Baz… just breathe…” you softly coached him, and could see from how wide his ice blue eyes were that it was going to be a struggle. He had been more strung out than you’d originally thought, because he’d done a good job of hiding it, being fairly calm and put together in the airport. As usual he’d pulled you into a tight hug and a long kiss, both of you needing to just hold each other, knowing your time was limited. You’d texted with Chris but hadn’t seen him in person since bringing him to your apartment for dinner and him spending the night on your couch the week before, just in case Sebastian had reacted adversely… but apparently that wasn’t quite enough. Once the two of you were in your apartment you’d laid it all out for him, not leaving anything out because you wanted his honest thoughts and opinions, not wanting to damage his trust in any way by not telling him what had happened, and apparently it was too overwhelming for him. Almost immediately he’d hit full blown panic mode. And was nearly seething over the fact that Chris had approached you.

“I’m sorry, I just… I can’t…” he gritted his teeth, pacing the living room, the hardwood floor creaking just a little in protest. “Why would he corner you like that? I just wanna…” 

“Baz, babe, I know, I know,” you stood up and wrapped your arms around him, effectively trapping his arms at his sides and hugging him, burying your face against his neck and pressing a whisper soft kiss there. He was shaking in frustration, hands curled into fists at his sides as he tried to hold it all in and process. “But what else could I do? Baz he’s in such awful shape…” 

“I know! I know and I’m sorry but it’s not your job to put him back together draga, it’s not,” he insisted, gently shaking off your grip so he could cup your cheeks as he struggled to calm himself. He made sure his touch was light, not wanting to cause you any kind of discomfort, and took a few deep breaths before his blue eyes were boring into you. “It’s not right of him to push you into helping him when he was so awful to you. And just the… just the way he looks at you Claire… makes my blood fucking boil. It has since we first met, even when I had no fucking right for it to bother me because you were with him and he was supposed to be looking at you like that.”

You pulled back a little, eyes searching his features, wondering if he was loopy or not; you had no idea what Sebastian was talking about now as he pulled you back in tight, one hand gently cupping the nape of your neck before he kissed you hard. With a sigh you melted into him, letting his mouth ravage yours as he held you as close to his body as was possible, nearly making you dizzy while his hands groped at you. It only took an instant for his right hand to be beneath your shirt, flesh of his palm hot against your skin before the other hand slid into your cut off shorts, his fingertips digging in lightly as he held you flush against his body, his skin feeling like it was a hundred degrees against yours as every hard plane of him was pressed against you.

“What do you mean, Baz?” 

“He looks at you like you’re the only person in a room, draga, like you’re the light of his life. Whatever he did or didn’t feel, I can’t really speak for him, but I’m sure he has those kinds of feelings for you and I’ve seen Chris head over heels for a girl before,” 

“Baz he’s not head over heels for me,” you started, even if you weren’t a hundred percent sure. He’d round aboutly admitted to some kind of remaining feelings, but hadn’t said anything outright. It had been made very, very clear to Chris where your heart was, and he’d promised over and over to be nothing more than friendly. “And if he were, it wouldn’t matter. I love you, Baz.” 

With that you pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, letting the small sigh escape you as he tilted his head and his tongue traced your bottom lip before he gently sucked and nibbled at it, quickly stoking up the fire he’d started with his first kiss. You opened to him, feeling his hand grab at your ass and pull you in against his hard body again, need surging through the two of you in a way you’d both missed. It had been a while since you’d just been taken over by desire; the last few months the two of you had been so busy and stressed that while it was no less meaningful or satisfying the sex had cooled down a tiny bit. You’d very honestly missed feeling like he needed you so badly he couldn’t control himself.

“Claire, draga,” he mumbled against the soft skin behind your ear as he trailed hot, sloppy kisses wherever he could reach, teeth gently working at the skin and making you shiver. 

“I know Baz,” you panted, tugging the bottom hem of his shirt up and he pulled away just far enough for you to strip it off of him. He made quick work of your tank top before those god-designed hands were skirting over your skin, making you feel like he was igniting a fire in your veins as you nearly ached for him. “Please.”

Both hands were on the back of your thighs and he lifted you up, carrying you four steps until you were pinned between him and the wall. His hips ground against you, his hands at the fly of your jeans, fingers working desperately. Once he’d opened the button and let down the zipper you let your legs drop from around his waist so you could shimmy out of the shorts while he stripped off his own, his now naked body on glorious display in front of you, nearly making you drool as heat pooled in your belly and your eyes ravished his bare skin, a small groan slipping past your lips and putting a smirk on his. The moment both of your ankles were free of the clothing he had you up against the wall again, mouth hot on your neck as he slid his hand between the two of you, and two fingers into your underwear, the groan rumbling in his chest when he found you ready. There was no helping the moan that escaped your throat when he teased at your entrance before sliding one finger in, closely followed by the second, slowly working you over until your nails were digging into his shoulders. 

“Please Baz, I need you,” you whispered, voice sounding heady and husky even to your own ears as he took your mouth, before he pushed the thin lace aside and guided himself to you, entering you in a measured thrust. It took your breath away, how completely and utterly he filled you, how amazing his bare skin felt against yours as he bit into your shoulder to help stifle his own sounds. You could feel the ripples of his abs against your stomach, the firm pectoral muscles against your chest, his large, strong hands beneath your ass helping to hold you up. 

“Sebastian,” his name escaped your lips as he drew himself out completely before sliding home again, relentless in his thrusts as every nerve in your body was singing with pleasure at having him again. 

“Claire, draga,” his voice was growly and deep with need, hips snapping against you as he took you against the wall. His breath was hot against your neck, as he panted to try and get oxygen into his system. 

The drywall was rough and cool against your back, Sebastian’s skin warm and smooth against your front, and your overwhelmed senses came to a point as you called out his name, body beginning to spasm around him as you hit your climax. Sebastian groaned and picked up his pace, and you could feel his entire body tensing up as he got near his own finish. With a groan that sent a tingle down your spine, your name leaving his full, kiss swollen lips, he finished. 

It wasn’t until a few moments later that your endorphin-crazed brain began to function properly again, and you realized what had been different. He’d been bare, too engrossed in what the two of you were doing to stop and grab a condom, and when you felt some of his mess leaking along the bottom of your thigh you slumped your forehead against his shoulder. It wasn’t a smart move on either of your parts. Especially not with the conversations you’d been having and what he was going through with Rita.

“Everything okay?” he whispered, and you swallowed before moving to drop one leg and feeling even more uncomfortable. 

“Um… Baz we… kind of forgot something…” you mumbled, and as he adjusted his hands on your ass, he froze. The fingertips of his left hand brushing against the sticky dampness on your thigh, and he looked at you with such a heartbroken expression it pulled at your very being. You could see understanding and guilt written all over his handsome features in moments.

“Fuck. Fuck Claire I’m so sorry—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay just… can you carry me to the bathroom?” you asked, cheeks bright pink. He did just that, as quickly as he could, and then realized there was going to be an issue with containing the mess that was now slowly making it’s way round the bottom of your thighs to attempt to drip on the floor. Once he pulled out, there would be nothing to stop it. 

“Shit, I really fucked up didn’t I?” he asked, and you shook your head, pecking his cheek. The last thing he needed was another problem to berate himself over. And really, it was just as much on you as it was on him.

“No, you didn’t. I didn’t think of it either, Baz,” you reassured him, combing lightly through his hair before you sighed, and then let out an awkward giggle. “We may as well get this part over with.” 

He grunted out something between a laugh and a sigh before doing so, making a face as the two of you indeed made a bit of a mess of the bathroom tile, before he offered to go and get a cloth to help clean up with. After cleaning you up and then wiping the worst of it off of the floor he vacated the bathroom, leaving you to finish washing. He met you at the bathroom door with a fluffy robe – where he’d got it from, you had no idea – and wrapped you up in it with a kiss before carrying you into your room and laying you down on the bed. Small sighs escaped both of you as you snuggled up, slipping your arms out of the robe in favour of wrapping yourself around Sebastian and being as close as was physically possible beneath the thin sheet. Thankfully he seemed to feel the same way as he slung a leg over your hips and wrapped his arm around you. 

“Sorry babe,” 

“Seb, it’s okay, honest,” you giggled awkwardly, pushing yourself up on an elbow to look him over and kiss him softly. “Just as much my fault as yours.” 

“But it did feel good,” he sighed, sounding disappointed in the fact. You couldn’t deny it either. 

“That it did,” you agreed, before the two of you chuckled a little. Part of you was dying to ask if he’d heard anything about the Rita situation, the rest of you hoping it wouldn’t come up, wanting this night and the next day of having Sebastian utterly to yourself wrapped up in a little bubble where nothing else could affect either of you. 

“I missed you so much,” he admitted, a few moments later, eyes trained up at the ceiling. You nodded, feeling the same way as your fingers traced little designs onto his bare chest, feeling the light sprinkling of hair he had. When he had to do shirtless scenes he usually waxed it off, but you liked the slightly sparse, soft hairs that were smattered across his chest. 

“I missed you too. The next few months are gonna be shit,” you told him, snuggling in closer and feeling him pull you in. You were pressed as close as you could be to his warm chest, feeling body heat radiating off of him and keeping you from getting chilled.

“I know draga, I know,” he mumbled, kissing the crown of your head before taking a deep breath. “So… he’s not mine.” 

He’d dropped the bomb so unexpectedly your head snapped up, hitting his chin and connecting with a solid thud. Even though your head was now throbbing a little bit all you could do was gape at him, one hand over the now sore spot while his fingers were pushing at the bottom of his chin where you’d made contact, a grimace on his face. 

“Say what?” 

“He’s not mine… the paternity test was negative, Claire,” he repeated, but sounded almost… sad about the fact. Like he’d hoped the little boy had been his. It struck you as if lightning had shot out of the sky that maybe he had wanted the boy to be his; because you knew he wanted children. That maybe it would have been the kick-start to him having a family of his own, and that was a bit of a bitter pill to swallow, being reminded yet again that you were the reason he didn’t have those things. 

“I… Baz, honey I don’t know what to say,” was what came out, your voice softening as you cupped his cheek. “How… how are you feeling?” 

“Weird,” he answered, and sighed as he stretched before gently tugging at your arm to get you to snuggle in to him again. “Like, a huge part of me is relieved, because fuck I would’ve missed so much and it’s so shitty of me to have been away and I don’t know if Rita and I would… would have been able to co-parent all that well. But then part of me? Claire I’m so sorry but part of me is a little upset that he’s not mine. Not because of Rita – baby you know that – but just because… because when I saw that little boy and realized he could be mine it was like somebody flipped a switch in my chest. I knew I wanted it but I just didn’t know how badly.” 

You laid there, not sure of what to tell him as he explained what was going on. It made your heart ache a little bit. “I’m not saying any of this to try and pressure you draga, you know that, right? I’m just… it’s part of why I’ve been such a mess the last few weeks, because it’s just so conflicting and then I felt awful and wrong and guilty about even the slightest hope of that boy being mine because he would never be ours, you know? And that’s a lot to ask of you. And now that he’s not mine…” 

“You realized just how ready you were for all of that?” you whispered softly, tears welling up even though you wished for them not to. Burying your face against his chest was useless, because he’d feel the tears against his warm skin, and so you simply laid there, holding onto him and wishing life could’ve been just a little fucking simple for once.

“I’m so sorry draga. I meant what I said, I’m happy to wait because I know you’re not ready,” he softly explained, kissing your bare shoulder. 

“But you won’t be, Baz. It’s easy to say now, but in a year from now? Two? Are you really going to want to wait another three or four or even five years for me then?” you asked, and felt him freeze beside you for a moment. 

“Yes, I will. I’ll wait because it’s the right thing to do for us, and because I love you, Claire. Will I occasionally get jealous of friends of ours with all of their babies? Yes. Fuck yes. But I know that I want it with you, Claire, and if waiting is how we do it then we wait. I know you told me to lay off, but just this once?” he asked, and you chuckled, nodding at him as he gently thumbed tears from your cheeks. “I want those adorable little Romanian-American babies, okay? I want babies with my blue eyes and your dark hair and my stupid cleft chin and your gorgeous little half smile… that’s what I want.” 

“You big sap,” you sniffed, unable to keep a few tears from slipping down your cheeks as he smiled at you, looking and sounding more like himself than he had in months. 

“But you love me,” he argued, and you nodded, kissing him soundly. His goofy, almost smug smile was in full force as you pulled away and snuggled against him, pulling a little chuckle from Sebastian’s throat as you did so.

“That I do,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also... totally unrelated... HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN SEB'S NEW HAIR?! I have no idea how I feel about it. I'm so unbelievably torn. Part of me is like 'oh good GOD' but then part of me is like 'y'know... it's not awful' and I literally have zero concept of where I actually stand on the matter. 
> 
> And to anyone seeing him at Wizard World this weekend - I'm super jealous! I saw some Instagrams of the 'Platinum VIP' which seem like the _best_ way to do meet and greets with people at a con; it was a small room and they got to do like a mini panel asking him questions and then pictures and autographs and he got actual time to talk with everybody! (And the fact that he's now buzzed the hair from what he posted on Instagram from _Destroyers_ still shaken and undecided on the feelings. Somehow he still looks amazing though (doesn't he always?) and if you haven't seen the photos of him with the clown from IT - people were posting tons of edits of him in the yellow Hugo Boss jacket from their new campaign about him being the grown up Georgie from the movie and he made it happen in real life. He is amazing
> 
> Anyway... hope you guys liked the chapter!


	38. Chapter 38

Your days off had started so well. Marvel had very kindly given you four days of ‘family leave’ so that you could be in New York with Sebastian, and his own project had adjusted their schedule so that he was really only needed for a couple of hours here and there while you were out, understanding that there was a lot going on in your lives and that the star of their movie was having a difficult time, as it was starting to bleed into his ability to work.

Yesterday things had been wonderful; you’d dropped Sebastian off at set with a kiss and his favourite Starbucks iced coffee, a slightly tired but genuine smile on his face as he insisted he’d text the moment he knew when he was done for the day so you could come get him. You’d done some cleaning in his apartment, because with his anxiety taking over that had been at the bottom of Sebastian’s list of things to do, very similarly to what had happened back on your first Avengers film after his big split with Rita, and once you were satisfied with that you’d gone out to do some shopping, trying to hold off lunch in case Sebastian was done filming early enough you could eat together. 

After hitting two of your favourite stores, and the best bakery in the whole world, you’d retired back to the apartment, snuggling into the couch with a blanket to eat your bagel and relax. At quarter to one Sebastian’s message came through, you picked him up and the two of you went for lunch, talked, laughed, and then spent the rest of the day putting away a few still-lingering Christmas decorations, doing a little bit of cleaning but a lot of cuddling and simply enjoying each other. There was lots of time to get into the meat and potatoes of what was going on, you both recognized that the most important thing was being able to get reacquainted and comfortable and enjoy the fact you were together. 

Then this morning it was like life had been tipped upside down. You’d woken up to Sebastian nearly growling, and after sitting up realized he had your phone in hand. Almost vibrating, lips pulled back into what you could only call a snarl, as it was far too aggressive for a grimace, he’d looked over at you. The expression on his face had caused some kind of flight instinct deep within you that made you want to shrink back and hide beneath the covers, even though logically you knew there was nothing Sebastian would ever do that should make you that afraid. He would never hurt you.

“The fuck, is this?” he asked, working so hard to keep his voice even, but with a confused look you gently pried your phone from his fingers. You were shaking, you realized, your response to Sebastian’s anger catching you off guard. Instinctively, you knew he was bigger, stronger, and faster, that had to be the only reason you were this panicked over what was going on. Never in a million years would Sebastian ever do anything to cause you harm, but you couldn’t put a handle on your physical response to him like this.

Four missed phone calls, and a handful of desperate sounding texts lit up your screen. All from Chris, and you felt your stomach clench a little in worry. He was still having a really rough time, still very closed off from a lot of people and having some trouble with drinking and shit. There was a very good chance that something was very wrong. 

“What the hell…?” you mumbled, rubbing at your eyes in an attempt to wake up and read the screen. Your tired brain then realized Sebastian was all but fuming beside you, waiting for you to say something or explain. You didn’t know what to say, hadn’t figured out what was going on with Chris to even be able to explain to your boyfriend what was going on.

“Why is he calling you at all hours of the night?” he finally spat out, and you almost could have flinched at the venom in his voice. There was almost no trace of the Sebastian you knew so well in the angry person sitting beside you. Sebastian rarely got angry; frustrated, sure, upset, yeah, but this was so out of character it was almost like somebody else had replaced him. Maybe that was why you were having such a visceral reaction to him behaving this way.

“Baz I don’t know – this isn’t something he does,” you told him, and immediately realized it was maybe the wrong choice of words as his blue eyes widened and he all but launched himself out of bed, hastily pulling on underwear and sweats, an angry hurricane of a man ripping through things trying to find what he wanted. 

“Baz…” 

“So what does he do? Huh? Just drop in on you whenever he wants to chat? Show up at your place drunk in the middle of the night because he knows you’re too nice to say no?” he snapped, and you felt tears beginning to form in the corner of your eyes as you clutched your phone to your chest, using it as some kind of shitty ass defense mechanism as your heart tried to pound through your ribs. 

“Baz, that’s not—”

“Then what? Jesus Claire the fucking guy’s in love with you, fucking _cheated_ on you and you just take him in whenever he asks? God, I go _weeks_ without seeing you in person and the asshole who treated you like somebody to be used gets you whenever? Where the hell does that make any sense?” with that he stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. You felt the sob leave you before you could clamp a hand over your mouth to quiet it, and pulled your knees to your chest. 

Really, there hadn’t been that much actual contact between you and Chris. Mostly you texted, once or twice you’d talked on the phone, usually only when he was having a really shitty time, and you’d only spent any time with him in person once since he’d showed up at your car and laid it all out. Maybe it was just everything else Sebastian was dealing with becoming too overwhelming and this outburst was just all of those emotions bubbling through the surface. It just sucked that he was taking it out on you. Which was a tip off in itself because that wasn’t something Sebastian did. 

Part of you understood, sympathized, was angry at yourself even. Here he was, putting off things he wanted for you, keeping himself in one place in his life, all without hardly being able to see you and he felt like somebody who’d wronged you so badly was trying to slip in and take his place. That would be frustrating, terrifying and enraging all at once, and you understood that, even if that wasn’t what was happening. Sebastian had a right to be upset, you just had to explain that what was going on really wasn’t as bad as he thought it was. 

_Claire I’m so sorry, I fucked up. Can I talk to you?_

_Please, please I don’t know what else to do_

_Fuck I’m sorry I keep bothering you. You must hate me_

_I’m freaking out, I’m sorry, please, please text me back_

Chris’s texts were sitting there, so you quickly texted him back that you were sure everything would be okay, that you were sorry but you couldn’t talk. That Scott would be more than happy and able to help him out, and closer to him if he needed someone there in person. That his family and friends were there for him and that he needed to remember that, and that you would talk to him later when you could. Then you let your eyes wander around the bedroom that felt more like home than yours in Lancaster did; the soft brown color on the walls, the dark espresso wood of the long dresser against the far wall, with some of your makeup, Sebastian’s cologne, and a few other odds and ends decorating the top of it. 

At first you’d tried desperately to keep your things in your bag or in the drawers Sebastian had cleared out for you; one in the ensuite bathroom and one in the dresser, but he’d assured you over and over he actually _liked_ seeing your things in his room and his space. That it made the apartment feel a little more like it belonged to both of you rather than you just visiting, and slowly things had morphed. He’d rearranged and rearranged until you had half the dresser, and a large chunk of the closet space. Bought an organizer for the shower so you could leave shampoo and body wash in New York and not feel like you had to pack a bag to visit. He’d made it feel like coming back home rather than just staying. 

The picture frame on his nightstand was almost taunting you; the two of you looking incredibly happy when Annie had snapped a photo of you at the first ‘friend Brunch’ he’d been in Lancaster with you for. His arms were around you, his chin resting on your shoulder while he smiled at the camera and you laughed at something somebody had said, your fingers comfortably buried in his hair. He had another frame of the two of you on his other dresser; from when he’d first toured you around the city, and facing it in the frame was the two of you on the London Eye, Sebastian pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek while you blushed and grinned. It seemed like a lifetime ago that things were that fucking simple.

You slid out from beneath the thick duvet, and pulled on a pair of leggings and a hoodie you’d thankfully remembered to bring. While you desperately wanted to surround yourself in one of Sebastian’s sweaters, you weren’t sure that he’d be okay with it in this moment. Quietly you opened the door, the hinges not even squeaking, and tiptoed your way out to the living room. He was sitting on the couch, head down and in his hands, looking like he was hardly keeping it together. It broke your heart to see Sebastian like this. 

“Baz?” your voice wavered, and you cursed yourself for it, but when he looked up at you the anger wasn’t in his eyes anymore. He looked miserable and disappointed, and that was somehow worse. 

“Fuck, draga… I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I snapped at you,” he whispered, before letting his head drop. “I just… I have trouble trying to talk about it. I get so fucking _mad_ at him and… and…” 

“Baz it’s okay,” the tears were back in your eyes, and you slowly walked over, feeling the area rug beneath your toes, plush and warmer than the hardwood, before you decided to sit in the chair instead of curling up beside Sebastian on the couch. He grimaced slightly at that, and you wondered if he recognized your need for a tiny bit of distance in case this conversation got so emotionally charged again. 

“No it’s not. I warned Chris if I ever saw you _flinching_ talking to someone… and then I fucking did it to you. I’m so sorry, even though sorry doesn’t cut it,” he took a shaky breath before he braved looking up at you again. 

“Baz, I wanted to explain, I—”

“Claire, sorry, can I… I’m worried if I don’t get it out now I won’t be able to,” he whispered, cutting you off and wincing as he did it. You nodded, pulling your knees up and tucking your feet beneath you as you watched him. It took a few moments for Sebastian to collect himself, and when he looked up at you there was pain all over his features. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole the last few months, and I’ve been taking it out on you. You know I don’t mean to and I hate it when it happens, but I’ve still done it and you don’t deserve that,” he started, and you buried the bottom half of your face in your hoodie to help hide your expression. This sounded terrifyingly similar to a breakup speech and that would absolutely kill you. 

“But I just… can’t seem to keep my shit together when it comes to you, draga. It’s not an excuse - I know it isn’t, but it’s what happens. Like I turn into a goddamn Neanderthal whose only concern is making sure you’re mine,” he almost managed a smile but it died before it fully reached his lips. “It’s wrong of me. But I just… Claire you don’t understand how _awful_ it is to feel like I’m losing you to somebody who… who _broke_ you. I saw what he was doing to you even before shit hit the fan in LA. Those few months? Even though I didn’t get to see you in person I could see it. We all could; you weren’t the same. It was like he was sucking the life out of you and I hated it. God Claire, if I’m being totally honest with myself? I think I was in love with you before Rita and I split. Imagine how hard it was for me to watch you be broken down by somebody you obviously cared about when I knew I would love you so much better. It’s awful of me to say; Chris was my friend, but it was true. I couldn’t understand why you’d stay and not just dump his ass when you deserved so much better than what he was putting you through. And while I didn't know it at the time, I know now a lot of it was the uncertainty and having feelings when you felt you shouldn't and being afraid of what that meant... but it was still so hard on you Claire and I absolutely hated seeing that all wear on you.

“Then… then when we got together I was determined I would do everything to make sure you never had to hurt like that again, Draga. And I’m trying, I really am,” his voice cracked, and the tears were now running freely down your cheeks. “But knowing you aren’t ready to marry me and have kids with me and watching you slowly work your way back to him is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, Claire. I love you, more than I think I’ve ever loved anybody and I’m losing you to somebody who doesn’t deserve the time of day from you after what he did. I’m so fucking _jealous_ that you can just forgive him and start trying to be friends again because you’re such a good person and I’m hundreds of miles away and can’t even see you and then end up acting like an asshole because I’m angry and upset and envious and that makes it so much worse.” 

With that you were on the couch, pulling him into your arms while he broke down in earnest. Tears falling from his eyes, shoulders wracked with sobs while you tucked his head beneath your chin and wrapped yourself around him as best as you could. Sebastian rarely broke like this; there was always some sense of control, of a wall – however thin – being up. But this was a gut reaction to all he was feeling and going through and it took over his entire body as he let it out.

“You aren’t losing me Baz; I love you, you know that,” you whispered, your own tears disappearing into his hair. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this, I’m so sorry.” 

“Why a-are you s-sorry?” he cried, gripping you tight. “I’m the one f-fucking things u-up.” 

“You aren’t puiut, you aren’t,” you assured him, and he cried harder as he curled himself around you, trying to make himself small while you held him. Time seemed to fly but stop all at once, and you had no concept of how long the two of you sat there, but you were emotionally exhausted by the time both of your tears stopped. Soon there was nothing but sniffles coming from your boyfriend, his thumb stroking along your bicep as he leaned into you, eyes closed as he tried to simply breathe. You dropped a kiss to the top of his head, before leaning back against the couch, feeling like you needed to sleep again.

“Sorry Claire,” he whispered, voice rough and ragged, but you shook your head and pulled him back with you, so he was leaning into you and the back of the couch, making it more comfortable for both of you to relax. He buried his face against your neck again, the scruff of hair on his cheeks tickling against your skin, and you felt his warm breath as he exhaled and melted against you.

“Don’t be sorry; you needed to talk about these things, it’s important we do. I’m so sorry you’ve been so upset, Baz,” he let out a long breath, seeming to shrink into you before he finally chanced a look up at you. His blue eyes were rimmed with red, and you could see so many emotions swirling in them that tugged at your heart again.

“But I’m being an ass about things I have no right to; I… I know it’s important to you to be friends with Chris again, that you guys have to get some kind of closure over everything. I just… hate feeling like I’m being pushed out of the picture to make room for him. And it’s not what you’re doing, draga, I’m not saying you are. It’s work and my own fears and anxiety and whatever but it’s eating away at me. The worst part?” he asked, and you froze a little, wondering what on earth it could be. 

“What, puiut?” 

“I’m fucking terrified that you don’t want to move forward with me because some part of you is still holding on to him,” he whispered, eyes shut as tight as he could, fingers gripping you tight as if you would disappear if he let go. His words hit you like an earthquake, leaving you gasping for air, shocked and hurting all at once as you sharply pulled back from him, seeing his blue eyes watering again. 

“Sebastian I am not holding on to Chris,” you told him, angry at yourself for sounding angry at him, but unable to rein yourself back in. “I love you. _You_. You know this. Not being ready to get married and be a mom doesn’t equate to me holding on to somebody who pretended to date me, slept with me, and then started sleeping around with other women.” 

“I know, I know – Claire I’m sorry, please don’t be mad,” Sebastian begged, looking a little haggard with puffy eyes, dishevelled hair and the scruff of a three day beard on his face, the few little grey hairs he had showing up at his chin already. “I know, at least I’m sure I do, that it’s not the case. You know how anxiety just spins everything bigger and bigger until it’s too much. You’ve never done anything that would say you’re holding onto him, I just—”

“Freak out if I’ve mentioned him or have talked to him and snap at me if he texts or calls?” your words came out so harsh that Sebastian flinched, and he swallowed hard before slowly raising his hands, silently asking if it was okay to hold you again. You let him, but didn’t melt into him when he pulled you close. Acting like a petty teenager wasn’t your style but you were pretty upset about that accusation. 

“’M sorry, fuck Claire I’m sorry,” he repeated, over and over. “I never thought I was a jealous man until I was worried about you. I just… even the tiniest inkling of losing the future I want with you apparently drives me to stupid things.” 

“I get you’re upset and you’re worried… but don’t you trust me? Baz it never once even _crossed_ my mind when you’d said you’d ran into Rita and had been talking to her to even be worried in that sense. When I felt like you had something big to tell me, maybe part of me was concerned that you'd ran into someone from your past who was ready for those things, yeah, but once you'd said... that was all it took. I know you love me and that you respect me and us. So why are you so panicked about me talking to Chris?” you asked, feeling like an asshole but knowing your anxiety would run away with all of this information if you didn’t get down to the bottom of all of it. He swallowed hard, and then pulled away so he could hold you at arm’s length. 

“Because I’m scared that with how I’ve been acting I don’t deserve you either. That you’ll get sick of dealing with my anxious, panicked ass and you’ll leave me and I’ll have to see you back with him knowing I fucked up the best thing to ever happen to me. It’s not you Claire; it’s me. It’s all me,” he blurted, cheeks turning a little pink before you cupped his cheeks. 

“Puiut, you need to take a deep breath, okay?” 

“And I don’t fucking trust him. He took advantage of you once and I’m terrified he could do it again,” he continued, and slapped a hand over his mouth, blue eyes wide as he watched you for a response. Apparently _that_ he’d been hoping to keep to himself. 

“Oh Baz,” you shook your head slowly. “That won’t happen. Me and Chris was as much my fault as it was his.” 

“But it wasn’t. You told me you were pretty tipsy when it happened,” he whispered. You shook your head again, and cupped his cheek, happy when he leaned into your touch and put his hand over yours, covering it. 

“But it was. I was a little drunk and I liked him and some little part of me thought that maybe throwing inhibition to the wind and letting that go where it was would lead to some rom-com moment where we ousted our feelings and were happy ever after. Chris was just as drunk as I was, Baz. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but then? I’d wanted it. Now, I have zero interest. It wouldn’t matter if I was drunk or not, Baz, it would never happen because the only guy I want is you,” the soft explanation made his expression crumble, and he sniffed once more before pulling you in against his chest, a hand in your hair smoothing it down while he mumbled in Romanian to you. 

“Te iubesc,” he murmured, and you kissed his forearm softly. 

“Te iubesc, Baz,” you replied, and he let out a sigh before you felt his large hand covering the expanse of your back. 

“I know you get panicked when I talk to him Baz, but I don’t want you to feel that way. I love you. And yes I want to try and fix things and see if Chris and I can be friends again, but that’s it. Friends. Nothing more. He’s going through a really shitty time and he needs help and I know how that feels. I don’t want anyone going through that alone. And he misses you too,” you mumbled into Sebastian’s chest, the exhaustion beginning to take over as you yawned. “I don’t think we talk as much as you think; and I’ve only seen him in person twice since we’ve talked. I do tell you literally all there is to tell. I don’t know what happened last night with him but to be calling and texting like that isn’t something that happens like ever.” 

“It’s okay draga, I’m going to try and work on it, okay? Chace gave me shit last week for acting like a little bitch over all of it,” he sighed, and you nearly chuckled.   
“A ‘little bitch’, so nice of your best friend,” 

“Well, he wasn’t wrong,” his shoulders slumped a little even as he pulled you so you were now sitting on his lap and snuggled against him. “I was bitching about how I hardly get to see you anymore and that it seems like when we talk all I hear about is Chris and how angry it was making me. Chace rather forcefully shoved it in my face that I knew Chris wanted to talk things out with you, and that I knew you’d be this busy because of your contract and _I_ was the one who took other projects in what would’ve been my downtime from Marvel. So really I’d done all of it to myself. That was why I accidentally hung up on you on Wednesday.” 

“What?” 

“Chace walked into the room when we were bickering, after I’d been complaining about all this, and he grabbed my phone and disconnected the call. Then he told me I was acting like a little bitch and I needed to grow the hell up. That there was no way I could expect you to want to marry or have kids with me if I was acting like a little kid who didn’t get his way over things that shouldn’t really have been my business. He went full big-brother on me and even punched me in the arm for good measure,” Sebastian did chuckle at that, and you shook your head. 

“Were you okay after all that happened?” 

“I was a little upset – mostly I think he bruised my ego. I didn’t think I was acting that way but now I think I really was. It’s not my place to say who you can and can’t be friends with, as much as I’d love to be able to say Chris doesn’t have a place in either of our lives anymore, I know some of it is me being petty,” he sighed, and you gently scratched his scalp, making hum and tip his head back in contentment. “It’s just hard hearing it from other people, you know? But I think it was good for me. It’s just trying to keep it in mind and check myself that’s hard.” 

“We’ll figure it out, Baz, I promise,” you kissed his cheek, and he turned his head and puckered up his lips for a real kiss, cracking open an eye when you paused. When he saw you were simply grinning at him, not upset at all, he started making gross kissy noises and leaning in until finally you cracked and began to laugh and then pressed your lips to his. 

“How mad are you at me right now?” he asked, and you were surprised. Considering how awful the conversation had started you’d thought that it had really turned into a mature getting it all out kind of thing. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on, you have to be a little pissed off with me. I’ve literally been acting like a shithead for like three months, and I don’t blame you if you are. There’s no way you aren’t upset with me. You can’t bottle it all up either draga,” you shook your head, and his eyebrows raised. 

“Not even a _little_ upset with me?” he gasped. 

“No, I really wasn’t. I understand why you were angry and upset, Baz, I was just upset with myself for making you feel that way and not knowing how to fix it,” you mumbled, and he cradled you against his chest again. 

“Ah shit, draga you shouldn’t be feeling that way. It was my own damn fault and stupidity and you should’ve tore a strip off me. You got damn close a couple minutes ago,” he reminded you, and you snorted. 

“That’s because you accused me of not wanting to have your babies because I like Chris. That was rude,” you shot back, and he nodded with a grimace. 

“And I deserved way worse than what you gave me,” 

“Getting mad at each other isn’t going to fix anything though, Baz. I understood where you were coming from, and that was really important to me to be able to try and help you and fix it,” was all you could say because it was the truth. 

“That’s something I apparently need a lot of work on,” he allowed, and kissed the top of your head. “So thank you for putting up with my stupid ass. I love you.” 

“I love you and your stupid ass too,” you teased, and he laughed before pressing his lips to yours. 

“Well, in a shitty attempt to start making it up to you, would you like me to make you breakfast?” Sebastian asked, and you smiled up at him. 

“Maybe later. Right now I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep. I hate confrontational stuff like that and I feel drained,” you answered, and he nodded. 

“That’s okay draga, I understand. You crawl in and whenever you’re hungry let me know and I’ll make you something, okay?” 

“How about no,” you shook your head, and Sebastian was about to ask what you meant when you slipped your hand in his and intertwined your fingers. “Because I want my boyfriend to cuddle while I sleep, whether you have a nap or not.” 

“I can do that,” he allowed, and kissed you sweetly before getting up and proceeding to pick you up off of the couch. 

“Hey!” 

“I have a lot, and I mean a _lot_ , of making up to do draga. So I’ve gotta earn some points wherever I can,” he joked, and carried you into his room, setting you down as gently as if you were made of porcelain onto the mattress. 

“Well I can say this isn’t necessary, but I can’t deny it’s kind of nice,” you allowed, crawling beneath the covers and pulling them back on Sebastian’s side as he stripped back down to his underwear and curled up beside you. 

“That’s good,” he smiled, kissing your cheek before pecking your lips softly a few times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... maybe I can blame it on the fact I'm currently stuffed full of cold and flu meds... but I've apparently become a sucker for needing a happy ending at the end of the chapter, every chapter. (Let's say it's from the meds, shall we? I woke up with the mother of all head colds and probably a sinus infection so I feel _awesome_... not)
> 
> Anywho, I really hope you guys liked this chapter and it's still bringing things 'round without getting too repetitive. Let me know what you think!
> 
> (And anybody have any insight or thoughts on this 'WeCare4Seb' thing all over Insta at the moment? I kind of saw bits and pieces but don't really know where it stemmed from... and saw one of Seb's comments saying he wasn't really sure what caused it or started it either but that he was super thankful and blessed for all of his fans?) 
> 
> (On another totally unrelated note, he's also supporting Our Big Day Out which helps provide support and does projects to help bring happiness to institutionalized children, elderly population in shelters and impoverished families in Romania; there's also currently a fundraiser being done through some fans on Insta to raise money and then donate it in Sebastian's name - just in case anybody wasn't aware or was perhaps interested in checking into it? They did some really great stuff over Christmas and it's all done by volunteers which is AMAZING - there's a lot of shit going on in Romania right now, and Sebastian has said the group is really close to his heart because he easily could've been one of those kids, which absolutely breaks my heart that so many people are impoverished and forced to give their children to be wards of the state to try and ensure they're cared for. So just throwing that out there for you guys to mull over or possibly check out!)


	39. Chapter 39

“No. Not a chance in hell. Not happening,” Sebastian’s arms were crossed in front of him, his feet spread apart and he was looking about as intimidating as was physically possible for him to do so. Like a brick wall of strength and you knew he’d done so without even realizing it. 

“Baz…” 

“I know what I said but this is different! This is him stepping in on _our_ time to try and fix what’s going on in _our_ relationship. He is not coming here to New York to end up camping on the couch when I still want to punch him in the face. I’m working on it, but I’m not there yet. My answer is no,” he repeated, letting out a pissed off little _hmph_ for good measure. Chris had continued to text your phone the rest of the day yesterday, and even a few times this morning, and while you’d felt guilty mostly ignoring him had known it was for the best. You and Sebastian had talked out a lot of things, and while you felt like you were in a better place with a lot more of what was going on between you out on the table, you kind of felt like you were still tiptoeing around each other. And that if you were going to dive in to the whole thing, Sebastian could put his money where his mouth was. 

Chris had gotten ridiculously drunk, and more or less come to at some strange house and had no idea how he’d got there. It hadn’t been in the greatest part of town, so he’d called a cab to pick him up and take him back to his apartment. However, when he went to get up he was immediately sick and felt like his legs wouldn’t work. After twenty minutes of struggling, dealing with almost vertigo and the whole body not cooperating thing he’d called Scott, who had burst in, hauled his brother into his car and to the hospital. Chris had no recollection of what happened between the bar and waking up, and understandably was freaking out. But when he’d asked if you were in LA you’d had to let him know you were in New York with Sebastian. And he’d asked if he could come to the city, because he needed you. That was the current argument you and Sebastian were having. 

“That’s not… That’s not what’s going to happen,” you insisted, following him to the kitchen where he angrily pulled a water bottle from the fridge and twisted the cap off with so much force it went flying from his hand on accident. 

“But it is! Claire, draga I know you. You have a huge heart and it’s something I love about you. But you’re gonna take one look at his sorry ass and insist he shouldn’t be by himself and I’m going to be laying in bed staring at the ceiling, by myself, while you sit out here and let him cry himself to sleep on your shoulder and won’t move because you might wake him up. I am _not_ dealing with that when the whole reason we’ve got this time right now is because we need to work on us,” he remained obstinate about it, and you sighed, dropping your shoulders. There wasn’t going to be much you could do, with Sebastian being this stubborn about it. 

“But Baz—”

“Claire, puiut I even told Mama she couldn’t come out while you were here because we needed to work on things,” his voice softened. He closed the space between you two, setting his water down on the counter behind you to wrap his arms around you. “That’s what we need right now, right?” 

“Yeah, I just,” 

“I know, I know draga,” he murmured into your hair, surrounding you with his body. “I know you want to help. You’re wonderful like that. But he has other people he can reach out to; like his brother, who’s right there and wants to be there to help him. Let them try and work on building their relationship back too, okay?” 

“Okay,” you whispered, tears in your eyes, hidden thankfully against Sebastian’s chest as he rubbed your back. 

“Thank you draga. I know how hard it is for you and I want you to know I appreciate it,” words from his therapist – who you’d both gone to see late yesterday afternoon in an attempt to find some strategies for how to deal with what was going on – and you sighed. He was trying, he really was, as much as you felt like he was remaining stubborn in trying to keep Chris from having any tiny involvement in your life, it was hard for him, and that you had to recognize that too. His anxiety had been telling him that contact with Chris meant he would lose you, and that was a lot to contend with. 

“Thanks Baz,” your voice only sounded a little empty, and you knew Sebastian had heard it when his body froze for a moment. 

“You have to talk to me, draga, bottling it up doesn’t help,” he gently reminded you, and you sighed. 

“I just don’t want to upset you,” you admitted, and picked at a little pill on his sweater. “Like, I know it’s hard and I know you’re trying babe but this kind of feels like you’re just doing the same thing in trying to make sure Chris is cut out as much as possible.” 

He stood there, frozen, and you closed your eyes tight before looking up to see his expression. Sebastian’s jaw was tense, which meant his teeth were gritted together, and that meant he wasn’t happy with what you’d said. The beautiful blue of his eyes flashed to the color of steel for a moment before softening back into an ice blue, and he swallowed hard before forcibly relaxing. 

“Draga, I’m sorry that’s how you’re feeling. I… I don’t think that’s what I’m doing, with this,” he started, pausing as he looked for the words to help him explain. “I just think that Chris flying across the country to interrupt us being together like this isn’t necessary. You said that the two of you had to start over, trust building and becoming friends, right? And this isn’t something that people at the beginning of a friendship would do. Yeah, I’m uncomfortable with it because it’s Chris but I think I would be just as worried if it was some other random person you’d only known a couple months. I am trying, draga, I just… you gotta let me ease into it a little bit too, yeah?” 

“I know, I’m sorry,” 

“But I’m happy you told me, okay?” he tipped up your chin and pressed a sweet kiss to the end of your nose. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Baz,” you replied, feeling a little better even though you hated to tell Chris it wasn’t a good idea for him to come to New York. You would be back in LA in a couple of days anyway; surely he could manage until then. Maybe Sebastian was right and it would be healthy for him to lean on Scott a little the way that Chris used to. 

“You sure you’re all right?” 

At the sound of Sebastian’s voice you snapped out of your thoughts and blinked a few times, the familiar apartment surrounding you. You’d been daydreaming and trying to process all that had gone on the past few days, and Sebastian had caught you doing so. It was strange, having become a little bit accustomed to having space to yourself, like the apartment in LA, where nobody could catch you lost in your own head.

“Just, trying to think,” you allowed, and he nodded, moving slightly behind you. The two of you had laid down and cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie, and while Sebastian was a warm and comforting presence behind you, your mind had wandered easily in the first ten minutes of the film. 

“Okay… things you want to share or still need time to figure it all out?” he carefully asked, and you sighed. 

“I don’t know yet,” 

“That’s okay, puiut that’s okay,” he kissed your temple softly before making himself comfortable lying down again. “You can talk to me when you’re ready, all right?”

“Of course babe,” you agreed, and felt him hum slightly before his attention was back on the television screen, his fingers softly carding through your hair and lulling you into a sense of ease and comfort. It was a struggle, but you watched the last half hour of the movie, and then rolled so you could bury your face against your boyfriend’s chest. His arms slipped around you properly and you felt him kiss the top of your head. 

“I’ve been so scared that I’m going to end up losing you, Baz,” the words broke free and you felt him tense before he was covering you with kisses and reassurances.

“I’m not going anywhere iubit, not anywhere,” he told you, but you shook your head. 

“Things have been so crazy and we’ve been having such a hard time handling it when it’s just the two of us. Then all anybody can tell me is how perfect we are together and how I need to get my shit together because you aren’t going to want to wait for me. Then the whole thing with Rita happens and I feel awful because we both _know_ just how badly you want it and then had it shoved in your face, which is fucking awful. And to make it worse I wouldn’t blame you for it; I know how badly you want to have kids Baz and that I’m the reason you don’t and—”

“Shh, shh,” he soothed you, sneaking a hand between the two of you to tip up your chin. “None of that. I’m absolutely telling the truth when I say I want to wait for you, Claire. It might get a little upsetting seeing our friends with their babies and that sort of thing, but I know I want it all with you. That’s what matters, okay? Sure, right now you aren’t ready and maybe that’s _a_ reason of many that we aren’t starting a family yet, but you know what? Someday down the road you will be _the_ reason I have kids and that will be so much better.” 

Cue more waterworks from your overworked eyes as you pulled him close by the front of his shirt and kissed him for all you were worth. Sebastian took an instant to respond, caught off guard by your behaviour, but soon was kissing you eagerly, tongue playing skillfully at your lips. 

“How can you be so sure? About all of it?” you asked, eyes moving over his face. “That I’m the right one, that you’ll be okay waiting when you want otherwise and everybody else agrees that I’m the problem?” 

“Everybody who thinks that can go… jump off a bridge, or something,” he snorted, and you smacked his chest lightly. 

“Our mothers are in that group,” 

“Well… then they can just… keep it to themselves instead,” he corrected, once you’d reminded him of the fact. “I don’t care what everybody else thinks, draga. Everybody will always have expectations, and that’s whatever, but what matters is us. I’m sure because I love you, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you and raise kids and I’ll marry you barefoot in a little country church in Ohio with the whole nine yards if that means you’re mine and you want that with me too. That’s how I know waiting is the right choice, because it’s the choice that means I end up with you.” 

“You are the biggest, sweetest sap I have ever met,” you laughed out the words, a few tears falling free as he smiled and thumbed them away. It felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted off of your shoulders and your chest, to hear the words from Sebastian’s own mouth that things were going to be okay. That he meant what he said and wouldn’t leave simply because you weren’t there yet; that it was your anxiety and fear manifesting these ideas the same way his mind was about Chris.

“I’m glad you think so iubit. Why are you worrying your pretty little head over that? You know you’re stuck with me as long as you’ll have me,” he asked, and you felt your cheeks heat up even as he chuckled and brushed his lips across your forehead as tenderly as you’d ever experienced.

“Because while you’re all worried about the Chris thing I’m worried that one day you’re going to wake up and realize you can have these things with someone long before you can have them with me and you’re going to leave me for someone who’s ready to settle down and have all that with you right now.” 

He snorted then, and when he realized you hadn’t caught on he actually laughed, before cupping your cheeks and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Sebastian looked as if some kind of weight had been taken from him too, and there was a light dancing in his eyes that hadn’t been there for a while. 

“Darling if it was just about the babies, maybe you’d be right. God, have you ever _read_ the stuff people write about me on Instagram or whatever?” you nodded, because you had. There was a plethora of young women out there who would _die_ to have Sebastian’s beautiful Romanian babies and you didn’t blame them. “But it’s not just that, it’s having a family, and a future. And for that I need the right person to spend it with, and it’s going to be you, draga.” 

“God do I love you Baz,”

“Good, because I love you too,” 

“So I was thinking…” you trailed off, fully catching his attention as those blue eyes focused in on you. His easy composure slipped away a little, his bottom lip sucked between his teeth as he tried to weigh your expression and words. 

“Yes?” 

“This morning, after you stormed out of your room…” he winced, and was soon covering your cheek with kisses and your ears with apologies. Of how you should’ve at least screamed at him and thrown some things, maybe even punched him one, even though you were shaking your head that you disagreed with him. 

There was that crazy, butterfly feeling in your stomach, the one that told you that you weren’t quite sure whether or not what you were about to suggest was the right decision, but you were committed to it. It did feel right, even if it made you beyond nervous.

“No I shouldn’t have, but that’s not my point. When I was trying to get a hold of myself before going out to talk to you, I was looking around. And I realized that your room feels more like where I belong than mine does in Lancaster. This whole apartment, feels more like home than mine does, Baz. And part of it’s you – well let’s be honest all of it’s you – but this place has always felt like a home and not just a place. Then you let me leave my shit all over and ask me to help decorate and pick out couches, and you’ve got pictures of us…” you trailed off and saw a strange mix of emotions on his face. Like he was afraid to be hopeful, and you smiled a little as you realized he was catching on. “But anyhow, I was thinking while I was sitting there that I was completely petrified of losing all of this with you, and how crazy it was that even though we’d basically just started a huge fight and you’d stormed out that I didn’t feel like I was awkwardly sitting in _your_ bedroom trying to figure it out. It feels like… like ours,” 

You had to swallow hard, nerves getting a little overwhelming, and then you realized Sebastian was all but vibrating beside you, an anticipative smile on his face. 

“A-and?” 

“And I want to know, Sebastian you-really-need-a-middle-name Stan,” you paused, and he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and worried it with his teeth in nervousness as he watched you. “If you think we should move in together. For real.” 

“Holy fuck yes. Of course, yes!” he burst and kissed you hard. You had to push on his chest slightly so that he would stop and let you breathe, and he let out a whoop before you were crushed against him again. His heart was pounding excitedly in his chest, hard enough you could feel it where you were pressed against him, and it brought a smile to your lips to see him so overwhelmingly happy.

“Oh my God, draga I’m… you’re sure? It’s what you want? Not just because of the shit we’re trying to figure out?” he asked, and you nodded, so happy to see his baby blues sparkling again. His smile was beaming and lit up his entire face; there was nothing that could’ve kept you from smiling with him.

“I’m sure. I just... I guess it’s been kind of hitting me the past few days. Being here with you _does_ feel like home, and I’m worried that maybe I was afraid of putting that distinction on us in case we fell apart. Which isn’t fair to do, because that means I’m holding some part of me back and you never do that. I love you and I’m committed to you the same way you are to me and I think this… this is the right move for us, Baz,” you finished, and were surprised when a sole tear leaked down his cheek. 

“I’m… sorry I don’t even have words,” he managed to choke out, before kissing you the way you imagined the princesses got ‘True Love’s Kiss’ in the movies; it was sweet and passionate and emotional all at once. “I’m… I’m just so fucking happy, right now.” 

“Me too Baz,” you whispered, smiling against his lips before you kissed him again. 

“So, since I know it’s killing you but you won’t ask, you better call your Mama and break the good news. I’m going to have to start looking for a real estate agent to sell my place,” you told him a few minutes later, and he gasped. 

“You’re going to move here? You’re sure? I mean, I know being close to your parents was a huge reason why you’ve kept your place and all and I don’t want to pull you from there, but—”

“Was there ever any real question of where it would be if we moved in together Baz? I was holding on to Lancaster but I knew I’d have to leave eventually. Maybe eventually we can get a little place out there so we have somewhere to stay when we visit, but that’s a long ways away to worry about. Mom and Dad have plenty of room for the two of us to stay. Manhattan has been feeling a lot more like home than anywhere else anyway,” you explained, and Sebastian kissed you hard before he snuggled in, making you laugh and then cackle when you realized he’d snapped a picture of the two of you. A cute candid, you had to admit, and soon he was fiddling away on his phone, continuing to turn the screen just enough that you couldn’t see what he was doing. 

“Baz what are you doing?” you finally caved and asked, and he just chuckled and finally turned it to you. 

He’d posted it on Instagram, the two of you looking adorable and relaxed and just _happy_ for the first time in far too long, and had captioned the picture _Best day ever. My favourite person is moving to New York. I’m the luckiest guy in the world._

“Aw, Baz,” you cooed, kissing him slowly as he wrapped himself around you. 

“It’s true. And this is to show the everybody’s who think we need to be moving at a different pace that they can shove it because we’re happy doing what we want and need to do for us,” he whispered, making you melt and kiss him once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's some cuteness to help make up for the crazy dramatics that have been going on! I adore the end of this chapter and it's overly-sugary sweetness! We all need some fluff in our lives sometimes!
> 
> Hope you guys like the new chapter! :)


	40. Chapter 40

“Congratulations!” Lizzie pulled you into a tight hug the moment you stepped foot into the hair and makeup trailer. While you and Sebastian hadn’t really made a point out of telling everybody yet, outside of his adorable Instagram post, it seemed everybody who knew either of you had seen or otherwise found out that you’d made the decision to move to New York anyway. Chace had called something like a half an hour after Sebastian had posted, saying he’d only waited so long to congratulate you in case the two of you were ‘celebrating’ the decision. So nice of him, and you’d both blushed immensely even though that hadn’t been what you were doing. 

Instead, you’d been asking your friends about real estate agents and having everybody texting recommendations while also looking at condo prices to try and see what you should list the apartment for. Sebastian hadn’t wanted to put too much input in, not wanting you to feel like he was pushing the decision, but after a while of badgering him he was finally searching out one bedroom condos in the area and comparing square footage and those sort of things to try and make a list of where you should list the place at. When the two of you had finally crawled into bed that night, it had been with wide smiles and open arms, and Sebastian had made love to you in a way that both of you had sheepishly admitted hadn’t happened for a while. Soft touches, quiet smiles, and tender kisses; bodies perfectly in sync as you held and caressed each other, Sebastian a wall of gentle strength and safety as he held you through the waves of pleasure that cascaded over you until you’d urged him to the same end; the two of you lying curled around each other basking in the warmth that was the overload of emotions you were feeling and sharing, physically and emotionally.

But now you were back to reality and LA, your boyfriend home in New York; however, thankfully he was happier than he’d been in months. Both of you were. 

“Thanks girl! How are you?” you asked, hugging her back before the two of you sat down in your chairs. You were about fifteen minutes earlier than when the hair and makeup staff usually arrived, knowing Lizzie would want a play by play of how your days off had been. It had been a week and a half since you’d seen her; she’d had some prior engagements and had been gone the last week and then you were gone to see Sebastian, and she’d returned but given you space, knowing you’d talk to her when you were back on set with AoS. She knew Sebastian wasn’t doing that well but didn’t know every single detail – just the gist of what all was going on. It was only with Sebastian’s okay that you would tell all the details, and if he didn’t give it then you wouldn’t say a word. 

“I’m good! And I am so excited I almost can’t handle it! I saw Sebastian’s Instagram but I didn’t want to text and bug you guys while you were still trying to figure things out,” she explained, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Today, Sebastian had one extra day off from filming, because it was the only day he could get in to his therapist and he was a jumble of excited nerves still, two and a half days after making the decision to move in together. He knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on work anyway, and thankfully his project had given it to him, knowing he wasn’t quite at one hundred percent. And the both of you had decided there were still some things to work out before the move was organized. But knowing he was this excited and happy at the prospect had really put a bit of a bounce in your step, even though he had most of the day off today back in New York and you were here in LA without him.

“Yeah, it kind of… well, let me start from the beginning I guess,” you sighed, sipping your coffee. “I got those family days to go and see him, and the first one was really great. I dropped him off at set, did some shopping and some cleaning, everything was fine.” 

She nodded eagerly, sipping on her green tea as she waited for you to continue. “Then I woke up early Thursday morning because something felt wrong, and he was just… livid. Scary, almost. He had my phone and he was like, shaking he was so upset. Chris had texted me a bunch of times and tried calling four or five times. Baz lost it, and was freaking out. He stormed out of his room and slammed the door and everything.” 

“Oh my god…” 

“Yeah.” You nodded, and took another sip before continuing. “We ended up talking it out, which was good, and then we were all right. It was a really emotional, lay everything on the table kind of thing, which we’d needed to do for a long time. We made an appointment to go to his therapist to help us talk through things with each other and kind of mediate. There were issues with both of our anxiety and the whole Chris thing amongst others, and then… well then Chris tried to get a hold of me again. Some really bad shit went down with him and… and he wanted to come out to New York so we could talk.” 

“What? What?” Lizzie juggled her cup as she nearly dropped her tea in her disbelief. “Oh hell no. It’s one thing for you to let him back into your life in _any_ capacity after what happened, it’s a whole other thing for him to ask to fly across the freaking country and interrupt family leave with your boyfriend. Who is currently still pretty pissed about the whole situation. That’s not cool. I’m guessing your boy toy got pretty upset?” 

“Upset is an understatement,” you chuckled. “But I understand. I just… hate the thought of Chris not having anybody when he was going through all of that, because I wouldn’t want Baz or you or myself to be by ourselves dealing with it either. But Baz was right; that time was for us to work on us and get our feet back on the ground after everything.” You drained your coffee then, and threw the cardboard cup away. You settled back into your chair, before realizing Lizzie was patiently waiting for you to explain what the ‘everything’ was. 

“And…?” 

With a groan you ran a hand through your unruly hair. “I… Lizzie I want to tell you I just… it has to be okay with Baz for other people to know what all went on, okay? It’s a big deal for him and it’s definitely more his story to tell than mine.” 

“Oh god, as long as he doesn’t have herpes or something,” she grimaced, and you almost fell out of your chair in surprise before you were laughing so hard your stomach hurt. Out of any of the numerous things she could have thought of, _herpes_ was apparently the most appropriate concern. 

“Oh my… Jesus Christ _no_ Lizzie he does _not_ have herpes!” you cackled, pulling yourself back into your seat properly while holding the stitch in your side. “That’s terrible! Why would you say such a thing? Don’t you think if that was an issue it would’ve came up when we _started_ dating rather than a year and a half in? Or if he’d picked that up somewhere there wouldn’t be _bigger_ issues in our lives?” 

“I don’t know… you said it was a big deal for him, and didn’t say ‘us’, so I just had to wonder… and you almost peed a little laughing. You haven’t been in a real laughing mood in a long time so it’s way overdue.” 

This girl was amazing. You had no idea how you managed without a friend like Lizzie who knew just what to do or say to help make you feel better. Sebastian had even dubbed her your ‘girlfriend’ as a joke after the two of you had been going out to dinner and the spa together when you’d filmed together last season. Lizzie just laughed and proceeded to hug you close every time he teased like that, making him huff a little when she didn’t deny his words, and it made you grin every time at the fact that they got along so well. 

“Thanks Lizzie. We’re kind of working our way through it, it’s just something big that almost… we were both scared we might not get through it,” you admitted, and saw her expression fall. “I mean, we were on opposite sides of it, but… I was really scared I was going to lose him Liz, and he was just as terrified that I was going to leave him. So… understandably it’s still a little difficult.” 

“Jesus, you’re telling me. Whatever it is, you guys will be okay. I’m pretty sure his mother will disown and murder him if he screws up bad enough for you to leave; at least you don’t have to worry about him doing something like that,” Lizzie teased, and you snorted. She thought the stories about Sebastian’s mother were beyond adorable, like the fact that she now liked to call you ‘daughter in law’ in Romanian when she could get away with it. It had taken almost a half an hour but you’d managed to get Sebastian to cave and tell you what she’d said at Christmas the night after she’d said it. 

The convincing may have also included him getting ridiculously embarrassed; you’d started kissing your way down his neck and chest, and when your tongue flicked against his navel he’d turned bright red, hissing that his mother was in the spare room and you couldn’t have _sex_ with a parent so close, or god forbid _go down on him_ with her in such close proximity. So you’d innocently gotten him to translate everything you hadn’t understood the day she’d arrived and the next one, teasing at the V lines of his hips with kisses and nips, even putting a hickey on his hipbone before he’d come clean, and _then_ you had quietly taken care of him. In an act of desperation Sebastian had to pull a pillow over his face to keep quiet, while your lips and tongue coaxed and teased him over the edge, and he’d had trouble looking his mother in the eye the entire next morning. While Lizzie didn’t get _those_ details she knew you’d pulled a conniving move to get him to spill, and she had probably guessed that you’d done much dirtier things in order to do so. 

“That’s true. He still hasn’t told me the story about the bus that she started saying at Christmas,” you pouted, and Lizzie grinned. 

“It must be really bad Claire, you sure you want to ruin things with it?” she joked, and you pretended to think on it hard before you two were laughing again. 

“God, he must be over the moon, hey?” 

“Something like that. I’m pretty sure he texted his mom two minutes after we agreed on it. It’s all he can talk about; when I’m going to have enough days off that match with his so we can go pack some stuff up at Lancaster. He says we need to have a going away party with everybody there too, because we need to ‘do it right’ and all that. Annie agrees with him, so we have to figure that out too now,” you rolled your eyes and settled back into your chair as you heard chatter through the front door of the trailer. The crew had arrived. 

“Oh my _God_ why are you two here already?” Chloe demanded, a joking grin on her face as she waltzed in and sat down in her favourite chair. “It’s too fucking early to be here _now_ and you look like you’ve been here a while.” 

“Car came early so we got coffee and have been hanging out,” Lizzie smoothly covered for you with a wink. 

“So in other words you been divulging all the hot gossip on how good the Winter Soldier is in bed when the rest of us can’t hear it. Just rude,” Chloe crossed her arms and pretended to shun you while you broke into laughter and soon everybody filing in for the morning was following suit. 

“Oh come on, she actually _hasn’t_ told me how good the Winter Soldier is in bed, so I’m assuming he’s mediocre at best,” Lizzie teased along, and you gasped at her before swatting at her arm. That had Chloe killing herself laughing. And while you knew she was simply doing it to get a rise out of you, you couldn’t help but feel yourself giving in. It was nice to just fool around and be silly, especially with how heavy life had been the past few months. Even just the realization that you felt good enough to just let go like that made you smile.

“How could you! He’s amazing, by the way; I mean he's got cold feet but...” you shrugged and threw in for good measure, and saw devious looks on their faces even as they cackled at your ridiculous joke. 

“Amazing, you say?” 

“Do tell,” well, you’d walked into the trap so you may as well make it good. You pulled out your phone and fired off a quick text to Sebastian that would surely catch his attention. 

_Sorry babe, just wanted to let you know in advance if rumours of your sexual prowess are going around… it may have been me. Love you!_

“He’s ripped, okay? Don keeps him in amazing shape,” you drawled, and saw Chloe’s eyes widen that you might _actually_ divulge something to the girls in the trailer.

“Well we all knew that; we went swimming in Atlanta more than once,” Lizzie rolled her eyes. Like it wasn’t important information and like everybody and their dog knew that Sebastian had a glorious six pack that stuck around something like eighty percent of the time, thanks to his love of the gym. On top of an ass and thighs that could kill.

_What? Claire what are you doing?_ Sebastian’s text lit up your screen, and you giggled before replying. 

_Defending your honour. They insisted you must be mediocre at best because I never talk about it. So I’m correcting them with as few details as is possible to get the job done._

You got a crying and laughing emoji back, before he typed another quick message. 

_Tell them I know how to use the motion of the ocean with a rowboat. That’ll quiet ‘em_

That had you cracking up, and you nearly dropped your phone as you wiped a tear from your eye as you did so. Sebastian was certainly _not_ working with a ‘rowboat in an ocean’ as he so politely put it. The man was well-built in all aspects of his anatomy. 

“What? What?” 

“He says to tell you guys he knows how to use the motion of the ocean with a rowboat and that that will keep you quiet,” you giggled, and Chloe nearly sprayed her latte across the mirror in front of her while Lizzie cackled and shook her head. 

“Jesus Christ,” 

“So he’s hung like a horse. There’s no man _alive_ who would make a small dick joke at himself if he wasn’t actually packing,” Chloe decided, and you could hardly breathe you were laughing so hard. 

_So the take away from that is that you’re ‘hung like a horse’ babe. Good job. But it definitely didn’t quiet them._

_YOU ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO THEM? OMG TMZ IS GONNA END UP PUBLISHING AN ARTICLE ABOUT HOW I HAVE A MICRO NOW. THAANKS…_

You sent him back a little kissy face and a quick ‘love you’ before returning your attention to your two speculating friends. 

“Okay, okay – enough talk about my boyfriend’s junk, all right? Let’s keep it classy,” you told them, and Lizzie smirked while Chloe sent you a shit-eating grin. 

“Aw c’mon Claire; you know there’s like a couple million women who are so jealous of you it’s not even funny, and we just wanted to be in the loop,” she teased, and you shook your head at the brunette. 

“That’s all you get. He knows what he’s doing and he’s incredible at it, that’s all you need to know,” you decided, and Lizzie shook her head. 

“You realize I’m going to take one look at him next time he comes to visit you and burst out laughing now, right?” she informed you, and you shrugged. 

“That’s your own fault. You guys wanted to know if he was good in bed, I simply set the record straight. Being a good girlfriend, defending his honour and all,” you grinned, and Lizzie snorted. 

“I’m totally buying him one of those little wooden paddles. I’ll tell him it’ll be easier to steer his _rowboat_ with it and get to watch his face turn fire engine red,” she decided. You gasped, leaning forward out of your chair enough that you could feel your balance on the verge of tipping.

“You _wouldn’t dare_ …” 

“I do dare. Very much so, and it’s his own damn fault for saying it,” she cheerfully responded before the stylists were on the three of you and somebody cranked up some Taylor Swift to try and get everybody awake and in the mood for a long day of work. You shook your head slightly before sitting up straight and holding still, the three of you on your phones while your hair was being done. 

“HOLY FUCK! YOU’RE MOVING TO NEW YORK?” Chloe burst about ten minutes later, and you realized she must have been scrolling her Instagram feed. Your grin widened and you blushed a little as everybody in the trailer was soon throwing in two cents and waiting for you to confirm or deny it. 

“Yeah, we decided it while I was back there to see him,” you nodded, and soon there was whooping and congratulatory hugs coming your way from everybody, cast and crew alike, while Lizzie simply preened happily like a peacock about already knowing. 

“So, getting a new place or moving in to his place?” Elizabeth asked, and you smiled. Everybody was genuinely happy and excited for you, even at seven in the morning.

“So far? Moving in to his place. I love that apartment and it’s been his home for like five years; he loves it and it’s just… got character, you know? It feels like a home.”

“Definitely, and that way the two of you can save up money toward buying something for down the road rather than worrying about selling two places and a mortgage and all on a new apartment right now when his place makes both of you happy,” Chloe nodded, as if it made all of the sense in the world. In all honesty it hadn’t really crossed either of your minds to _not_ simply move into his Soho apartment. 

But, you’d let them all come to their own conclusions about it as you held still to have your makeup done and listened to the happy chatter around you. For the first time in a very long time, you didn’t feel that weird emptiness, the gnawing, clutching at your insides feeling that the anxiety had been giving you for the past couple of months. You were content, you were happy. You were here with your coworkers who’d become friends, things were good with your boyfriend, and you had your dream job laid out in front of you for several months. Things were finally on an upswing, and Lizzie shared a knowing smile with you when you glanced over. 

She’d noticed you weren’t okay even before you’d come to her to talk about it, that you and Sebastian were having problems and how afraid you were of losing him. Every concern you’d had, she’d been in the loop for, there was never anything but support and kind words from her and you loved that about her. Now it seemed she was just happy to see you back to as much of your old self as you had been filming your first Marvel movie, before all the mess with Chris had started. She grinned and then your phone lit up, she’d texted rather than said anything, not sure of what all you wanted everyone to hear. 

_I really am so happy for you two. When is he coming out to visit?_

You quickly scrolled through the conversation you’d had with Sebastian the night before, and then glimpsed at your calendar before responding. 

_Not for like three weeks; they’ll finish up filming and then he’ll come out between that and reshoots. He’s actually declining the TV spot he was booked for after this so he can be out here as much as possible while we’re still figuring things out._

Lizzie visibly awed at her screen before sending you a gif of a dancing cartoon cat with heart eyes that made you giggle. 

_He’s adorable, and he loves you. I’m taking you two out to dinner to celebrate moving in when he’s here, ok?_

_Deal; thanks Lizzie. I’m so glad you’re as excited about this as we are._

_Duh. Of course I’m fucking pumped. You guys are goals, legit. I know you’ve been having a rough time, but you’re working through them and coming out even stronger. That’s incredible. I’m so proud of you guys._

“Aw, Liz,” you couldn’t keep it in and pulled her into a quick hug, which she returned before you guys were deemed ready to go. You sent Sebastian a quick text that you were heading to set and leaving your phone in your bag, and that you’d text him on your break or your lunch. He’d been doing so much better since you’d gone to see him, you didn’t feel the need to take it with you today, but if that changed then you’d be bringing it back to set with you like you had working on your film a couple weeks ago. Currently you were bouncing between filming both; your role in the film was a smaller supporting one, while your character was in a different place than the rest on AoS to help compensate for your schedule. You stored your phone safely in your bag before you, Lizzie, Elizabeth and Chloe all got ready to go to set and start shooting for the day. At that moment, Taylor Swift’s ‘Ready For It’ came on, and sharing a look Chloe whipped out her phone. 

“Quick insta-video?” she grinned, and you all nodded, striking a ridiculous pose before she started recording, and then proceeding to over-act and lyp-sync the shit out of the second verse and chorus. The video ended with the raucous laughter of the crew as the four of you struck a Charlie’s Angel-esque pose, and then you wobbled and bumped Lizzie and three out of the four of you went tumbling down in a pile of giggles while the crew laughed at your fall. Somehow Chloe managed to stay on her feet and film the collapse.

“Gold! Lookin’ good ladies!” Chloe announced before typing away and posting the video before you guys left the trailer for real this time, hustling to get to set because you were very close to being late for call time thanks to your antics.

“It’s good to have you back Claire; we were a little worried about you for a bit there,” Chloe whispered as she slung an arm over your shoulders and gave you a quick hug. 

“You were?” 

“Yeah, we could all tell something was going on, but obviously you weren’t okay to talk about it. I’m just glad you’re back to your usual self,” she grinned, and you hugged her back before turning and giving your full attention to the director’s plan for this shot sequence. 

It was good to be back, you mentally answered, feeling a little smile creeping onto your lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a fluff-roll lately... I'm not sure why or what's happened to me but I'm okay with it! 
> 
> Hope you guys like the chapter and enjoyed Seb's rather out-there leopard print velvet suit jacket to Elton John's Academy Award's viewing party last night... (those are things that normally don't go together but of course he manages to pull off. He could've showed up in a garbage bag and still looked fantastic... those cheekbones... < insert sigh here>) 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think of the chapter! :)


	41. Chapter 41

“Babe, I just…” 

“Baz,” you repressed the groan, instead letting out what was almost a disappointed sigh. Chris had called, a bit of a drunken mess, asking if you would pick him up from a party because he was too embarrassed and upset to ask his brother. Who, he’d finally admitted, had a bunch of friends from college out visiting that didn’t know about everything Chris was going through. The only issue was he’d called while you were Facetiming with your boyfriend, and said boyfriend was now quite upset you planned on cutting your call short to go and pick Chris up. You’d even put real pants on, and while Sebastian had wolf whistled at you when he caught sight of your bare thigh as you slipped out of a pair of sleep shorts into something more appropriate to be seen in, he obviously wasn’t as pleased about it now.

“Claire, draga I—”

“What am I supposed to do here, Baz? He needs help; he’s asking for someone to pick him up and drive him home, that’s all. Scott has a bunch of friends in town, most of which don’t know about all this, and he doesn’t want them to. Can you really blame him for that?” you explained, and saw Sebastian’s expression fall. He stared down at his fidgeting hands, quiet now that he’d realized he was making you upset. Then you did groan and run a hand through your hair before tipping your head upside down to throw it up into a messy bun. 

“’M sorry Claire,” he whispered, and your heart broke as you sat up straight again and saw what looked to be pure anguish on Sebastian’s handsome features. This was eating him up inside. 

“This isn’t choosing him over you, Baz; this is helping a friend, that’s it. I know you know this, babe, and I know you know that I love you. And you better keep your tired ass awake because I’m calling you the moment I’m back home because I miss you like crazy,” you teased, but that wasn’t quite enough to tug a smile onto his lips. He tried, you could see he did, but he failed. 

“Okay,” 

“Baz please don’t do this,” you quietly begged, and he sucked in a harsh breath, eyes steeling slightly. 

“Please don’t do that to me, draga; you know how hard this is and how much I hate it,” 

“And you ask me every time something happens to not talk to him or not see him; how is that any different than asking you to not make me feel like shit trying to help him out?” 

The words had slipped off of your tongue before you could stop them, and you sat frozen as you heard him suck in a harsh breath. He gripped his hands together, knuckles standing out as he tried to get a hold of himself. 

“I… I do that?” 

“I… ah… damn it Baz I’m sorry, I just… it’s… sometimes. I know it’s not what you mean to do, Baz, but it still fucking hurts when the one person I want to lean on for support is the one making me feel like I’m doing something terrible,” you quietly continued, and saw his shoulders shake a little. 

“I’m sorry, draga; you know that’s not what I’m meaning or trying to do. I just… it bothers me. In ways that I’m shitty at explaining and maybe you wouldn’t understand even if I could; sometimes even _I_ wonder if it makes sense,” he managed a dry, dark chuckle at that, which didn’t settle your nerves any. “But it does. He’s in love with you, and whether you mean to or not, he’s got you in a place where you’ll all but drop everything to go to him. You can’t expect that to not hurt me a little bit.” 

“Baz, I…” 

“I know, I know; it’s okay. I know none of this is meant to hurt anyone, love, it just… it does. It does and it probably always will because I know what he did to you and how badly it hurt you, and I know that he still loves you, and to be honest he probably wants you back. He’d be an idiot not to. Even _I_ think he’d be an idiot not to, as much as I hate it,” Sebastian continued, wringing his hands together as he stared at the floor in front of his feet, not raising his gaze to meet yours through your computer screens. Every word out of his mouth seemed to pull at you, twist you a little bit until you were so unsure of what you were doing and upset that you weren’t even sure if it was okay for you to drive to go and get Chris. 

“It doesn’t matter if he does or doesn’t. I want you. I _only_ want you,” 

“I know that draga, but… just, try and see this from my shoes? If one of my exes who’d cheated on me and hurt me really bad and you’d _seen_ me have to go through all of it was all of a sudden trying to wiggle back into my life? While you’re on the other side of the country from me and we hardly get to see each other? And if you knew, _knew_ she was still in love with me and might try something to get me back, how comfortable would you be with me going and picking her up from the bar or somewhere to take her home, or her _sleeping on my couch for a night_? Even with the best of intentions that wouldn’t feel right, would it?” 

Well fuck. No it really wouldn’t, but you weren’t convinced on this whole ‘Chris is still in love with you’ thing, because the only place those words had come from was Sebastian, who was terrified of it being true. He hadn’t really seen Chris since the London premier of your first Avengers film, or really spoken to him, so it was hard to guess whether that was truth or anxiety speaking. But really, you’d be upset in that position too. 

“You’re right, Baz, it would be upsetting and it would hurt. I’d be really worried about you getting hurt again, whether they meant it or not. But… but Baz you know I would try, so hard, to be supportive if mending things was what you wanted and if you wanted that friendship back. I might be shitty about it sometimes but I’d try, because I love you and want you happy above all else,” you choked out, and heard him sigh. 

“I know you would. You’re a far better person than I am,” he chuckled to himself, the sound still melancholy and lacking any kind of humour. “Go drag his ass back to his house, then call me back, okay? If I don’t hear from you in an hour and a half I’m calling Lizzie and blowing up your phone, pinkie promise.” 

“Okay, that sounds like a solid plan to me, puiut. You know I want to talk to you more anyway,” you managed a smile, glad he was at least trying to meet you in the middle. 

“Um, Claire?” 

“Yeah Baz?” 

He finally looked a little more relaxed, his knuckles no longer white with how hard he was wringing his hands together, his shoulders not quite so tense. Even his cheekbones were less prominent as he was no longer gritting his teeth a little or tensing his jaw. “I love you, draga. Just be careful, okay? He pulls anything, you call me.”

“Yes hon, I’ll call you if anything happens, but nothing will,” you agreed, and he looked a tiny bit relieved at that. 

“Okay. I’ll talk to you in an hour and a half, draga. Te iubesc,” 

“I love you too babe. Don’t you dare fall asleep on me. I want to hear all about the trouble you and Chace got into two nights ago,” you winked, and heard him playfully groan, sounding much more like himself before he hung up the call and let you go. Chace had drug him out of the house to some kind of ‘boy’s night’ out at a club, and while Chace had been enthusiastic telling you about how great the party was the next day, Sebastian’s tired and groggy voice had told you he’d been hung-over and hurting. But it was so nice to know that he was doing well enough to go and be out and about, even if Chace’s idea of a night out was a lot crazier than the two of yours’ were anymore.

Wearing joggers and a t-shirt, you quickly threw on a leather jacket, seeing as the wind had picked up a little since dinner, and slid into a pair of sneakers, phone and keys in hand as you headed for your car. You’d asked Chris to pin and send you his location, because he’d been slurring too much to do a decent job of telling you where he actually was. It was a solid half hour drive away, and you worried your bottom lip between your teeth. Between driving there, hauling him out of wherever he was, getting him home and getting back to your place, an hour and a half might have been under estimating, and you didn’t want Sebastian upset if you didn’t call by then. Likely he would immediately think the worst; he always worried about you driving and being places you didn’t know late at night, concerned that somebody could try and jump you or mug you or something along those lines.

Once the pin popped up on the message, you plugged it into the GPS and started the drive, hoping the streets would be empty enough you could possibly drive a little faster and cut some time. LA wasn’t the same as New York; while there was always stuff going on, once you got outside of downtown or ‘Hollywood’ the city went very dark and quiet at night. New York managed to stay bright and lively during all hours of the day and night, which amazed you even still. 

Thirty-seven minutes later you pulled up outside a nice looking townhouse, the lights all on and the distinct feeling and slight sound of bass coming from within the home. Leave it to Chris to find some kind of house party where god knows what all was going on. Scott had worried, texting you when Chris hadn’t answered his phone, and thankfully you’d been able to reply that Chris seemed fine and that you were picking him up and taking him home. You left out the part where you were worried that by now Chris had had a change of heart and _didn’t_ want to go home, and that it would be a mess trying to get him to leave. The last thing you needed was any kind of TMZ story circulating about you hauling Chris out of somewhere at half past midnight, drunk off his ass with Sebastian nowhere in sight. 

The jog up the front walk was quick, and you slammed your fist against the front door a couple times and waited. There was no response, sounds, or indication anybody had heard you, and you dialled Chris’s number, hoping he’d pick up and let you in. A quick glance around told you that most of the other homes on the street had sleeping occupants, thank god, and nobody awake who seemed concerned with keeping an eye on the other houses to see you standing outside.

“Claire? Why’re you calling?” his words ran together, and you mentally groaned. He was completely hammered.

“You called for me to come get you, remember? Wanna let me in?” 

“What? You’re here?” he gasped, and soon you heard something that sounded like footsteps on stairs before the front door swung open, and Chris was there, phone still at his ear and looking surprised as all hell. There was a haze inside of the house, and you had to work incredibly hard to keep yourself from coughing or covering your nose. Somebody had brought pot to this house party, and you hoped that Chris wasn’t getting into that or other things on top of everything else he was dealing with.

“Yes, you asked me to come get you and take you home, remember?” you repeated, disconnecting the phone call and stepping into the entryway as Chris floundered for words. His cheeks were pink, eyes a little cloudy from being drunk, and he swayed slightly on his feet even as he stood still. 

“I… no?” 

“You did. Three times, see?” you showed him your phone, and he swallowed hard before nodding. 

“I, uh, ‘m sorry for bugging you Claire. I just…” you watched him lose his train of thought, and then his gaze snapped up when he found it again. “Scott’s got friends over and I didn’t wanna bug him.” 

“That’s okay; I told you it was no problem,” a small, reassuring smile and you put your hand on his arm to steer him into the house. “So let’s get your stuff and get you home, okay?” 

“Sure you don’t wanna stay? Have a drink or something?” he asked, and you shook your head. “Seems like you never go out or do anything anymore. Seb keeping you on lockdown ‘er what?” 

That didn’t sit right with you. Sure, you didn’t go out as much anymore as you had before, but part of it was the fact that you and Lizzie going for dinner on a patio and having a glass or two of wine or the girls all crowding into Lizzie’s place or Chloe’s house for a few drinks was more the norm. None of you were really big on going out clubbing, and in all honesty you’d rather go out somewhere you knew the places and the people; you and Sebastian, when things were good, did go out sometimes in New York with his friends. It just hadn’t happened lately with everything else going on. 

“No, he does not ‘have me on lockdown’; the girls and I are just more into having drinks at dinner or at one of our places. Clubbing isn’t really my thing,” you shrugged, and he shot you a look that said he was trying to call bullshit. 

“C’mon Claire; I know how much you loved when I took you dancing in Atlanta, there’s no way that’s just ‘not your thing’ anymore,” he said before he was wandering through this house as if he knew it like the back of his hand. There were groups of people in the kitchen and living room, but it seemed like the real party was in the basement. 

He wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right about it; you loved dancing, but it was more the socializing and _who_ you were going with that had made those nights for you than the dancing or drinking. Maybe you’d have to bug Sebastian about going and doing something like that. You knew he liked dancing and that he and Rita had gone to dance clubs – the kind where they taught you stuff like the Lindy hop – when they’d dated. It had just never occurred to you that the two of you didn’t do those sort of things. Going to dinner parties and having a few drinks while spending time with friends had just been right and fun. 

“I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it, I’m just saying we tend to do more casual stuff,” you shrugged, thanking whatever entity there was when you saw Chris gathering up a sweater and the biggest bottle of tequila you’d possibly ever laid eyes on, almost half of it missing. You managed a tight-lipped smile and a tiny wave to a guy who was openly staring over at you while you tailed Chris as he got organized, and the man quickly blushed and averted his gaze. Thank god nobody said anything or had their phones out to try and create some kind of issue over it.

“I didn’t drink all it myself,” he quickly assured you, and you relaxed a little. That would’ve been scary. “And he’s kind of an idiot cooping you up all the time. I ‘member you loved going out for drinks or dancing or just bein’ around people, Claire.” 

“He’s not an idiot and he doesn’t coop me up, Chris,” you corrected him, and saw his expression fall a little. Maybe you’d sounded harsher than you’d meant as you followed along behind him, making sure he still had his phone and assuring him he’d be fine if he left whatever mix he’d brought here, and that four beer in a case _somewhere_ weren’t the end of the world. If you could’ve made him leave the tequila behind too you would have. He sure as hell didn’t need it. 

“He does too. Even Mackie said so,” Chris grumbled, before realizing his mistake and looking sheepish. Why was he talking to Anthony about the two of you? You knew Mackie and Sebastian talked pretty often, and the two of you had gone out to his restaurant the last time you were home for more than a few days, but hadn’t seen him in person since a small get together about five or six months ago. 

“Excuse me?” 

“He’s just… commented on how the two of you never do anything anymore either, aside from sit at home apparently. ‘E said he invited the two of you out to New Orleans and never even heard anything about it.” 

That was news to you, you had to admit. But it could’ve been recent enough Sebastian knew it wasn’t plausible with your schedules. Or could’ve been when he was too upset to handle something like that and it had slipped his mind. “Well, considering we’ve been living on opposite sides of the country for a while without even being able to see each other it’s kind of hard to go somewhere together.” 

“Claire, you can’t keep making excuses for him,” Chris pushed, too concerned with the conversation to argue as you nudged his shoes toward him and he slipped them on, following you out to your car. “He’s so fucking paranoid of everything that he’d keep you in his apartment 24/7 if he could. God, does he even let you go out with Lizzie?” 

“Chris, that’s enough,” you snapped a little, voice sounding a tiny bit shrill to your own ears as you put his alcohol in the trunk and slammed it closed. “That’s too far. I don’t make excuses for him, and he is not ‘so fucking paranoid of everything’ that he’d keep me shut up in his apartment. We’ve had a lot of shit go on in the past few months, and yeah, sometimes that means we’d rather stay in when we actually have time together than worry about being out and about. Besides, Lizzie and I go out lots, thank you very much; we go to the spa and out for dinner and once in a while go have happy hour drinks or meet up with the girls. Sorry that this whole ‘high school house party’ thing where you can blow your eardrums from the music and smell the pot from four houses down isn’t my scene anymore. Doesn’t mean you can rag on my boyfriend about it after asking me to come pick you up. You know that if I can, I’m happy to help, but then to pull this? This is unnecessary Chris.” 

He stood there and blinked slowly once or twice, before swallowing hard and raising his palms in a sign of surrender. Never before had something like this happened, and from the way his big blue eyes dropped down to the ground you immediately felt like an awful human being for snapping at him.

“Sorry, I just…” 

“It’s fine. Just don’t rag on my boyfriend anymore, please and thanks. It’s bad enough I have to wait another week to see him in person again, I don’t need to listen to somebody try and talk shit about him when they really have no clue what our lives are like anymore,” you said, before getting in and starting up the car, waiting a little impatiently for Chris to get in the passenger side. A quick glance at the clock told you there was no way you’d be home by Sebastian’s hour and a half marker, and so you sent him a quick text that you were just hauling Chris out of the party and that you’d keep him updated. A thumbs up emoji was his response, and you knew he wasn’t terribly pleased but that thankfully he had nothing negative to say. 

“Claire… Claire look at me, please?” Chris asked, and you slowly obliged him. “I didn’t mean… I just… I just meant you were always so happy going out and doing stuff like that that it seems weird Sebastian doesn’t take you out.” 

“Well, considering paps like to blow up any picture they can get of us into us getting engaged it’s a little frustrating to try and deal with that,” you snorted, Christmas tree shopping coming vividly to mind. Chris immediately hung his head, fiddling with his phone to avoid eye contact as you drove away. Maybe that had hit a bit of a sore spot with him, but that was only possible if Sebastian’s whole _he’s still in love with you draga_ theory was right. More likely he was sheepish about being reprimanded, however lightly. “But once things calm down it might be easier. We’re trying to organize a week or so of time off together to get moved and settled in and spend some actual not-rushed time together.”

That had Chris’s full attention, ocean blue eyes wide, eyebrows raised up high on his forehead as he gaped over at you. 

“What… what do you mean get all moved and settled in?” 

“I uh… I’m moving to New York,” you softly explained, wondering how the hell he hadn’t been kept up to date on that particular piece of information if he thought he knew so much else. Even if it was weird that he seemed to keep tabs on the two of you through mutual friends. 

“You are?” 

“Yeah, we decided it a couple weeks ago. I’m uh, selling my place in Lancaster and moving in with Baz once we have enough time to get it organized,” the words hung heavily in the space between the two of you in the car, and Chris slumped in his seat, phone in a death grip, his hands between his knees while he stared out the car window and watched the neighbourhoods pass by. You didn’t know what to say, and so chose not to say anything, turning the radio up a click or two to help disguise the silence. 

It was awkward then, Chris not willing to give up a single word or hardly even look over at you as you drove to his home. Once you were in the driveway he nearly bailed out of the car, and you rolled your eyes to yourself as you pocketed your phone and pulled his liquor bottle out of the trunk. You’d much rather take it home and dump it down the sink than leave it at his disposal, but either he’d get angry and you’d have to come drop it off or he’d just buy more anyway, so you followed him in, and grimaced when you heard him heaving down the hall. Dodger looked up sleepily from his spot on the couch, and came to life in moments as his ears perked up, fluffy tail wagging when he realized somebody else had come home. Chris must’ve rushed past too quickly for the sleeping dog to give him much thought.

“Hey buddy,” you whispered, and he shot off the couch with a happy little howl, nearly bowling you over as he collided with your knees in an attempt to get as close as possibly while licking your hands and forearms. 

“Aw, hello to you too,” you crouched down to ruffle up his fur properly, giggling a little when he flung himself to the ground belly up so you would scratch his favourite spot. In an instant his back leg was kicking, his tongue was lolled out and Dodger looked to be on cloud nine. 

“Such a good boy. You wanna go outside?” you asked, and his ears perked up as he looked derpily up at you from his place on the floor. You weren’t sure what time Chris had left his house at and Dodger didn’t have a doggy door. 

He ran outside like a speeding bullet the moment you opened the patio door, and immediately began sniffing for a tree to water. With a smile you closed the door and left him to his devices, knowing he’d be a while out there and knowing you should check on Chris. After putting his tequila bottle on the kitchen counter you ambled down the hall, and found him on his knees, leaning on the bathtub in the main bathroom looking like death warmed over. 

“Hey, doing okay?” you asked, and he shook his head. 

“No…” he sounded groggy, voice croaking a little and so you gently hauled him up to his feet. Thank God for Don’s strength training, as you half-carried the much larger man to his room. After sitting him down on the edge of his bed you pulled his sweaty, smelling t-shirt off and tossed it at his laundry basket; the smell of alcohol, which had likely been spilled lingered, as well as the smell of pot smoke and sweat. 

“Take your jeans off if you don’t wanna sleep in them. I’ll get you some water,” you instructed, turning on your heel to make sure you didn’t have to _see_ him stripping off his jeans as you heard him slowly shuffling around. As if it hadn’t been something like two and a half years since you’d been here you opened the right cupboard first try – the one just to the left of the sink – and pulled out a plastic cup, the kind usually reserved for his nieces and nephews when they visited (as they wouldn’t break if they were dropped or toppled) and filled it with water before finding some Tylenol and returning to Chris’s room. He was under the covers; shaking like a leaf, sweat beading on his skin. There was no question he was in for a rough night and probably day tomorrow. 

“Here you go,” you told him, putting the water and Tylenol on the nightstand where he could see it, and pulling his garbage can right to the edge of the bed so all he would have to do was lean over if he got sick. 

“Th-thanks,” he mumbled against his pillow, and you pushed some hair off of his face before realizing he was frozen. 

“I’ll find you another blanket or two,” you told him, before going to the hall closet and doing just that. Dodger still hadn’t barked to come back in, so you weren’t worried about him yet as you unfolded two thick blankets and covered Chris’s shaking form with them. 

“Thanks Claire… ‘m really sorry for everything…” he repeated, and you nodded, before telling him the garbage can was there and that you’d let Dodger out and bring him back in before you left. He gave you a nod and as you went to walk away, Chris’s arm shot out from under the covers and he grabbed your hand. 

“I mean it, thanks… and I am sorry,” he told you, blue eyes as clear as they’d been all night. You nodded and gave his hand a quick squeeze back, before he curled around his pillow and shut his eyes tight. Dodger was sitting politely at the patio door when you walked back into the living room, and you let him in before giving him a treat, milk bones were still his favourite it seemed, and putting a scoop of food in his dish, just in case Chris had left and not noticed if Dodger needed supper, or if he slept late and Dodger got hungry in the morning. The way the dog glued himself to you and whined as he realized you were putting on your shoes nearly broke your heart, and you crouched down to pat him again, feeling him press into you before you kissed his fuzzy forehead and told him to be a good boy and go cuddle his dad. As if Chris had heard, you heard his voice, although you couldn’t pick out the words, and Dodger’s ears stood at attention before he was trotting down the hallway to go find his owner. With that you slipped out the front door, arming the security system and locking the doorknob before trotting back to your car. 

Sebastian had texted you a question mark, and you still had a forty minute drive home to make. Getting Chris organized had taken far longer than you’d though, and you should’ve known he wouldn’t have been sitting ready to go once you’d arrived to pick him up. A quick text to Scott let him know that his brother was home sleeping, probably going to be hung over as all hell in the morning, and that you’d let Dodger out and fed him, and then you connected the Bluetooth in the car and called your boyfriend.

“Draga? You home?” 

“No, I’m just leaving Chris’s. Trying to get him out of that party took longer than I thought, and I let Dodger out while Chris’ puked his guts out,” you explained, and heard him sigh. The rustling noise told you he’d crawled into bed, probably listening to podcasts in an attempt to stay awake. 

“Poor pup,” Sebastian sighed, and you nodded. 

“I know, he was so excited to see me. He cried when I went to leave,” you answered, and heard a dry chuckle, the kind that told you his next words would be absolutely dripping with sarcasm. 

“The dog or Chris?” 

“Oh don’t you be like that,” you chastised him, but heard the tiniest hint of a giggle still creep into your voice. Mostly you were happy that Sebastian was okay enough to be making jokes. Even if they were uncalled for and you knew reprimanding him was the most appropriate response. 

“All right, all right, I surrender,” he laughed, and you heard him settling in. “So where’d you have to rescue him from?” 

“Somewhere over on the east side of the city; it was a house party. I swear I had high school PTSD flash backs pulling up outside,” you groaned, and heard your boyfriend laugh some more. 

“Oh yeah? That cool hey?” 

“Oh totally. I swear to god you could smell the pot smoke from down the street. So gross,” you told him as you turned onto the freeway that should shave off some time from your drive home. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed, possibly Facetime Sebastian for a few minutes, and fall asleep. Thank god the only plans you had for tomorrow were to go out to lunch with Chloe, Lizzie, Ming and Natalia and then the five of you were going to go window shopping and traipsing down the boulevard for a couple of hours to celebrate a day off. 

“Oh that’s gross,” he agreed, and yawned. “But it went okay? He didn’t give you any trouble?” 

You chewed your lip, not wanting to upset him but wanting to rant a little about Chris’s comments about him. Maybe that was better suited for Annie or Lizzie where you could have a bitch session if you needed it but wouldn’t send Sebastian into another anxiety attack about whether Chris was right or not or whatever else. 

“No, not really. Just forgot he’d asked me to get him when I got there. Was no different than picking up anybody else’s drunk ass,” you replied, and heard him groan.

“So it sucked, then?” 

“Just a little bit. But I got to love up Dodger for a few minutes so that mostly made up for it,” you teased, and heard him laugh easily, the sound like music to your ears after his frustration with you going to get Chris in the first place. 

“He is a pretty cute dog,” Sebastian allowed, and hummed. “Maybe we’ll have to steal Chris’s boxer for a couple days when you’re home, let you get your pup fix?”

“Oh my god can we? I doubt he’d let go of him for more than an afternoon though,” you gushed, and heard your boyfriend laugh again at your enthusiasm this late at night. 

“I’ll see what I can do. Maybe we can foster a dog for a week or two or something?” 

“No, we can’t,” you immediately argued, and Sebastian’s silence showed his surprise. “If it’s coming home it’s staying. I can’t give them back afterward. Just so you know.” 

“Ah draga, your heart’s too big,” he softly teased, his tone sweet and loving. “Maybe we’ll end up on a farm somewhere and you can have all the dogs your little heart can handle, hm?” 

“Fuck Baz do not tempt me. I really don’t think you realize what you’re promising here. And I don’t know if you’d like living that far from the city,” you told him, and he snorted. 

“I can handle not living in a city, draga. You wound me,” 

“There’s no delivery. Ever. For anything. Not even pizza,” you solemnly told him, and heard an over-dramatic sigh. Some background noise told you he’d likely flopped onto his back on the mattress while doing so, and he shuffled around, making himself comfortable.

“Whatever will I do without pizza delivered to my door?” he wailed, and you laughed as you exited into your neighbourhood. The streets were empty, but thankfully well-lit as you hurried along to your block.

“Starve three nights a week?” 

“It’s two, max,” he corrected you, and you giggled at him. “But really, draga, if it would make you happy we can talk about it. And I mean, it would be kind of nice to raise a family with that kind of space too. I couldn’t even wrap my head around the idea of having a back yard when I was a kid – I thought everybody lived in apartments and just had balconies. But it would be pretty cool. Might have to put a pin in it for a later date, hm?” 

“Sure, a pin in it for a later date,” you quietly agreed, and heard him sigh and yawn again. “How you holding up, puiut?” 

“Tired, but okay. Get your butt into your apartment so that I can see your pretty face before I go to bed,” he teased, and you laughed as you pulled into your parking lot. 

“Two minutes, I’m just parking and then I can see your handsome face. God I can’t wait for next week when you’re here,” you hummed, and heard him make an affirmative noise in his throat. 

“Me either. Two whole fucking weeks of being together… draga it will almost be like the first couple of months we were dating. How amazing will that be?” he asked, and you couldn’t help but agree. You hadn’t had that much uninterrupted time together since. 

“The best thing ever,” you told him, and locked the car before letting yourself into the building. “Crazy to think it’s been that long since we’ve had that, eh?” 

“I know, it’s shitty and I hate it, but I’m so fucking proud of you doing so much and so well, draga. When I’m out we’ll talk about taking a vacation, okay? Some time off to move you out here and then I can whisk you off somewhere tropical so we can do nothing but drink, lay on a beach and have crazy vacation sex?” he suggested, and you stifled a laugh as you jogged down the hall and let yourself into your apartment. 

“I’ll hold you to it Baz. And I’m just home, let me grab my laptop and I’ll see you in a minute,” you told him, and he seconded his excitement, even if it was sleepy, before disconnecting the call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da! So... not just solid fluff in this one... Chris has made a reappearance! Thoughts anybody? 
> 
> It's so weird having Chris playing out as like... not quite the villain but kind of the villain. Like it feels wrong because he's such a sweetheart but... he fits so perfectly here. Oh boy. 
> 
> Unrelated note - anybody seen CHRIS'S MUSTACHE? It's like... there's no words. Gives me flashbacks of my dad circa 1997 and not in a good way... (my dad's was a FuManchu mustache and I to this day cannot stand mustaches on anybody who I do not view as a fatherly figure. Even then it's questionable. Extremely questionable.) 
> 
> Hope you guys like this chapter! There's some crazy stuff coming up for Claire and Sebastian... :) 
> 
> Another unrelated note - I've got some exciting personal news! I'm making a 'big city' trek (lol) for the summer! While it's not to New York (because there were issues with finding an internship and getting Visa's organized in time and stuff as I'm Canadian) I'm headed to Toronto for the summer to work and finish up my degree! Suuper excited and really hoping I can squeeze out my stay for an extra week and try and catch some of TIFF - especially after hearing that there's a chance The Last Full Measure or I'm Not Here may be screened there? And of course after typing this I don't remember which it was I had read about possibly making an appearance lol. But I've never gotten the opportunity to be around a film festival and that would be a really cool way to round out the experience. (Of course the only better way would be with a job offer from my internship place and possibly running into Seb somewhere in the city :P But I'm staying realistic lol)
> 
> Hope you guys have a great weekend and Happy St. Patrick's day!


	42. Chapter 42

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” you jumped, before sighing and turning around, ready to ask if that line normally worked or if he thought you just looked that gullible. The slight push and stress in the deep tone told you this wasn’t how this guy normally talked. Considering that your eyes were on your phone, waiting for Sebastian’s text that his twice-delayed flight had arrived in LA and that you could pick him up, you didn’t really have the patience put up with somebody trying to hit on you. Nor did you look like somebody who was looking for any kind of attention; you were wearing a ratty pair of denim cut offs and a tank top that may have been from your college days, hair thrown up on top of your head and a pair of sunglasses on while you sipped at your water and stared at your phone screen. Your look didn’t exactly scream ‘come talk to me’.

“Does that ever actually—Baz!” you gasped, and watched him chuckle as he held his arms out. Eagerly you flung yourself toward him, pulling him in for a kiss and earning a cat call from somewhere else in the lounge as his palms pressed into your hips and his arms circled you, hands sliding to the small of your back as he held you tight. His lips were warm and soft against yours, his body strong and comforting. It had been a long three weeks without him. 

“Hey draga, sorry for wanting to surprise you. I just… I love seeing that look on your face,” he admitted sheepishly against your lips, and you grinned, feeling the drag of his stubble against your bottom lip as you did so. Gently you carded your fingers through his hair, which was longer as he was beginning to grow it out to play Bucky again. He’d had shorter hair for the last movie, but due to Bucky being forced on the run the super soldier was going to be returning back to his roots, anime-style hair included to keep up with the more recent comics, such as the Thunderbolts and his miniseries with Hawkeye. Being able to finger comb through his silky hair and feel the strands wind around your fingers was nice. 

“That’s okay, I’m just glad you’re here. Three weeks is a long time,” you allowed, and he nodded before kissing the tip of your nose. 

“That it is. Well, is it okay if we ditch the airport bar for a drink at your apartment? I have that weird, being watched feeling and I don’t want to have to debunk any more engagement photos.” With a gesture toward the door and a smirk you knew he had a point. You quickly picked up your phone and keys while he shouldered his backpack and grabbed his suitcase, before you felt his long fingers slide between yours. A blush was quickly working its way across your cheeks, because while Sebastian was a very affectionate person, the two of you had learned pretty early that PDA could sometimes get thrown back in your face. But to be able to casually walk somewhere and do something as small and inconsequential as hold your boyfriends’ hand was really, really nice. 

“So, how’ve things been? I mean, I know you’ve talked about it but that’s different than getting it face to face, y’know?” he asked once he was in the passenger seat of your car, even though you’d offered to let him drive. Sebastian probably still knew the city better than you did. He’d declined, insisting he was a little too tired and he liked feeling ‘special’ having his girlfriend drive him around. 

“It’s been good, actually,” you acknowledged, and felt him take your right hand on the console, his fingers softly playing with yours, touches unbelievably gentle and sweet. “I’ve… well, I’m sure Lizzie and the girls will manage to be all about it tomorrow morning, but I feel a lot more like myself lately.” 

Immediately his fingers froze, and then you heard him take a quick breath. “Is it because… because you’re here and I’ve been in New York?” 

“No! Baz, c’mon, you know better than that,” you softly reprimanded him, gliding to a stop at a red light and looking over at him. “I’ve been really, really happy, since we had that little break together. Like the anxiety quieted down, like… like how we were before all the crazy stuff with Rita and Chris happened… you know?” 

“Yeah?” he asked, and you nodded, focusing your eyes on the road again as traffic began to move. “You’ve been talking to the therapist every week like we were suggested?” 

“Yes,” you rolled your eyes. 

“Eating good? Going to the gym once in a while to work off brunch with Lizzie? Having a glass of wine once in a blue moon? Spending time with the girls? Actually relaxing and taking care of yourself?” 

“Yes Baz,” 

“Then it could be any one of those things,” he teased, but you could hear the fondness in his tone. He was happier too, the past couple weeks, and it was in everything. In the sweet ‘good morning beautiful’ texts he sent, the way he would always do whatever he could to make extra time to Facetime or talk on the phone. Even his voice was easier, like the tone had softened and relaxed without as much anxiety gripping him.

“Those things help, I’m sure. But I’m just… I’m a lot happier knowing we’re good. It, uh, makes a really big difference,” you responded, and felt him squeeze your hand tight before his thumb was rubbing tiny circles on the back of your hand. 

“I’m so happy to hear that, draga. I know I’ve been really… wrapped up in my own shit, but I know you were struggling too. I’m just sorry I wasn’t more supportive; you were always trying to help me instead of us supporting each other,” he sighed, and you squeezed his hand. 

“It’s how relationships work, Baz; there’s give and take. You needed the support, we both know that.” 

“Yeah but you needed it too, probably more from me than Lizzie or Annie or anywhere else you were getting it from. That’s what I’m sorry for,” he cut you off, before bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing just above your knuckles. “I’m working on getting better at it. I’m pretty sure it’s in the boyfriend job description and I want to do and be the best I can for you, love.” 

Nothing could’ve wiped the stupid smile off your face then, and listening to Sebastian hum along to the radio, tapping his foot quietly in time, his thumb making imaginary circles on the back of your hand only widened it. He was happier too, you knew, and being able to have him here for two weeks could only do the two of you good. Even the change of space would maybe make a difference, while you both loved New York you’d been a little cooped up the last few times you’d been there together, whether that was due to the weather or impending paparazzi issues. Maybe being able to take in some sun, sand and surf would be just what the doctor ordered.

With a ding your phone lit up just as you pulled into your parking spot at the apartment building, and you grabbed it, fully expecting it to be Lizzie asking when she could whisk the two of you off for dinner to celebrate the move to New York, but instead you saw Scott was calling. 

“You gonna get that?” Sebastian asked, popping his head in from the backseat where he was pulling out his bags. You chewed on your lip; not wanting anything to interrupt the happy bubble yet, especially not before you even had an hour with Baz in LA. But Scott actually calling was usually not a good thing, as he liked to text when he was just being conversational, and you felt yourself being pulled in two directions already; one wanting to answer and help, the other wanting to be selfish and have your boyfriend to yourself for a while. There was still a feeling of trepidation of whether Sebastian would be upset or if something happening so soon with dragging Chris into your boyfriend’s thoughts would spoil the rest of his visit or put a damper on it.

“It’s Scott… I don’t know why he’s calling,” you answered, and you saw his brow furrow slightly for a moment before Sebastian shook it off. He’d told you he talked with his therapist a lot about the Chris situation, as much to maybe move past it as to help him get a hold on his emotions around it so that the two of you never came to a fight over it again. It still ate at him that he’d gotten that angry over something he truly didn’t blame you for, and as much as you told him it was fine and you understood and forgave him the guilt was still there, it was something only time was going to fix for him. 

“If you need to answer it, it’s okay, draga. Want to give me the keys so I can go let myself in and give you a minute?” he quietly asked. You nearly awed at how sweet he was being, even though it had to be difficult. The slight tremble in his voice, which he masked quickly, and slight shake in his hand as he held it out for you to give him the keys gave him away. His blue eyes were stormy, like there were a million contradicting thoughts flickering behind them, and that made your decision for you.

“Actually, I think I’ll just text him. I haven’t even had you here for an hour yet, and I know… I know dealing with this stuff is still tough. It’s going to be – it still is for me too. I just want some time for us, first, unless it’s a really big emergency,” you decided, dismissing the call in favour of texting Scott. You quickly let him know you’d basically just picked up Baz and were just getting home, wondering what was going on. 

_I’m sorry, it’s Chris. He got hammered and is having a meltdown – I think I can handle it. Just thought I could maybe use some extra backup. I’ll let you know. Have fun with your hunny ;)_

With Sebastian’s arm wrapped around your shoulder you shook your head, showing your boyfriend the text. He even managed a chuckle, kissing your temple before opening the door once the code unlocked it. Keeping just a step behind you he followed you to your second floor apartment, and the moment you were in the door his arms were around you and his lips were on any inch of exposed skin he could find. 

“Missed you Claire,” he mumbled, the scratch of his stubble irritating yet somehow exhilarating on your skin as you dipped your head to the side to give him better access to your neck. A hum came from your throat as he sucked softly, being careful to not leave any bruising on your skin that would have to be covered up by the makeup crew in the morning.

“Missed you too Baz,” you breathed, and soon those large hands and long fingers were sliding up your torso, pushing your shirt with them before he cupped your breasts. The sigh that escaped your throat egged him on, as he pressed himself against your back, letting you feel every inch of his hard body. With that he finally took your lips, his kiss demanding and passionate as his thumbs gently moved over your nipples, causing a jolt to go through your system even though your bra kept his skin off yours. 

“Bedroom, now mister,” you mumbled at him, yelping in surprise when he hoisted you up off the ground and carried you, mouth working at your collarbone all the while. 

“God, babe this has been killing me. I was so fucking horny yesterday I had to take care of myself _twice_ just thinking about being here with you all alone for two weeks,” he groaned as he pulled your shirt over your head and buried his face between your breasts. The scratch of stubble only heightened the sensation as those god-made hands soon had your bra off and were gently kneading and teasing at your breasts while he kissed between and over them. When his storm blue eyes turned up to you the pupils had nearly taken over his irises; the only color left was a tiny ring, making his eyes look black as they nearly burned with the intensity of his desire. 

“Jesus Baz,” you gulped, tugging at his shirt. He pushed himself up, letting you tug the t-shirt over his head before he pulled it off of his arms and flung it. Then you let your hands drag down his torso, fingers leaving little pressure trails as you let your nails lightly scratch against his skin. He panted, abs incredibly defined with every exhale before you tugged at the waist of his jeans. His hips jumped forward with the change in pressure when you tugged, his bulge hard and stressing the button and zipper of his pants almost comically. 

“ Guess I’ll just have to take my time taking care of you, my poor puiut,” you cooed, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head as he sat back on his haunches and let your hands wander his body, teasing along the waistband of his pants. 

“Please baby, oh god,” he moaned, pushing his hips forward when your fingers brushed against him, the outline of his erection visible even through the thick material.

“Lay down?” you suggested, and with a hard kiss he eagerly did as you requested, but when he moved to undo his pants you stopped his hands, instead pushing them up above his head. His mouth dropped open as he gasped for breath, eyes wide as he stared at you, surprised and hopeful that this would mean what he thought. You’d never done anything like this before, but seeing Sebastian so overtaken with pure _need_ was doing something to you, and as hot as it was you wanted to take your time with him, to enjoy taking him apart and putting him back together the way he did with you. The fact he was so _eager_ for it only heightened the experience and gave you the necessary little confidence boost to go through with it.

“These stay here; you’ve got to touch yourself a lot more than I have this past month,” you purred at him, and he moaned again as you let your nails rake down his arms and chest. His eyes followed your every move, darting here and there and sharp as an eagle even while his mouth hung open slightly as he breathed heavily.

“This is even better than…” he blushed a little then, and you couldn’t help but smile, index finger trailing along the sensitive skin just above the printed elastic of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs that were peaking out above his pants. The tiny trail of dark hair from his belly button down was traced next, and he groaned as he pushed himself against your fingers.

“C’mon, spit it out,” 

“Even better than I imagined when I was touching myself,” he finally admitted, and you moaned, feeling his words root deep in your belly as you began to kiss your way down his torso, tongue lavishing his hot, smooth skin. A small nip at his hipbone made him whimper in need, not pain, and as your tongue soothed the skin you sucked at it, making him gasp and his hips push up off the mattress toward you. A firm hand on his left hip held him down, and he was nearly hissing as he tried to breathe through gritted teeth. 

“Please, draga, I need these jeans off,” he begged, and you lifted your head, a little pleased at the dark mark you’d left on his hipbone, replacing the one that had long faded from the four days off you’d had with him in New York. He was yours, after all, and aside from three weeks ago, you’d never really marked him like this before. With the jobs the two of you had it wasn’t really a thing you could indulge in, and in all honesty it wasn’t something you’d really _ever_ done. He’d enjoyed it though, and Sebastian had smirked a little and flashed you the remnants of his hickey more than once after you’d returned to LA, even pouting a little when it had completely faded from view. But nobody would be able to see this one but you, and he had two weeks of lounging around with you for it to fade away without detection. 

“Of course, puiut,” you told him, and popped open the button on his jeans before slowly letting down the zipper and letting your fingertips trail down the outline of him to the inseam. With that he groaned again, and lifted his hips so you could pull the jeans off of him, leaving him in a pair of tented boxer briefs, a damp spot at the front of them. 

“Baz you weren’t kidding, were you?” you mumbled and he shook his head, thighs trembling with need beneath your touch. But he was behaving, arms up above his head, right hand holding his left wrist as if to forcibly keep himself there. His grip was tight enough his knuckles were almost white.

“No I wasn’t… baby we went a long time without having sex because of work, then we had four days and only had sex like twice because we were working through so much shit… then we were doing so good and we were on opposite ends of the country and last time we Skyped you were only wearing one of my shirts and a thong and I was fucking hard just looking at you. Your voice all husky and sleepy and ooh…” his words left him as you nuzzled the inside of his thigh, high enough for your cheek to brush against his sex. His shuddering sigh made heat pool in your stomach, and after pressing a kiss to him through his underwear you pulled those off too. 

Sometimes you could almost forget just how unfairly perfect this man truly was. While you’d been introduced to him bulked up and trained to be a mass of bulging strength, even when he was lean, he was still all _muscle_ , with every body part working in fluid, perfect tandem, like water flowing effortlessly but powerfully. Getting to see him naked and laid out on your bed, eyes begging for your touch was a humbling and exhilarating experience all at once. Somehow, he only had eyes for you, a man who looked like he’d been handcrafted by the gods themselves. 

“Fuck Baz,” you mumbled, and he managed to look cocky for all of a few seconds. 

“Like what you see, draga?” 

“Always,” you answered, before licking a slow stripe up the length of him. You saw his face go slack, eyes rolling up before they refocused, watching you intently as you licked and kissed your way up to his tip, before taking him into your mouth. Even closing in on two years together you struggled to take much of him in off the get go, and it took a few tries to get much more than his head in your mouth. A swirl of your tongue made his hips rise off of the bed and he groaned out your name when you dropped your head down further, taking in about half of his length and pulling a gasp from between his lips. 

“Jesus Christ…” he moaned, stomach tensing as he gently pressed his hips up, wanting you to take more of him. Gladly you did, and heard his moans gain volume with every bob of your head, until each exhale of his breath was accompanied by a moan, and you lost track of time enjoying his pleasure. 

“Please draga, please,” he begged, fingers twitching with desire to touch you, and you nodded, pulling off of him with a soft popping noise. He brought his hands down and cupped your cheek, before gently pressing his tip toward your lips. “Can I? Just once?” 

Even though your cheeks were on fire you nodded, and opened your mouth, keeping eye contact with him as you took him in. He was beyond gentle, softly thrusting his hips up, never giving you more than you’d taken just moments prior when it was you doing the work, and after a few seconds he groaned and let his ass fall back to the bed, tugging you up to him to kiss you. 

“That was so sexy,” he moaned into your neck, deft fingers undoing your denim shorts and shoving them down your hips. His hands spread out, squeezing your ass as he exposed the skin before he was sliding his hand down between your legs, keening when he found you ready for him. 

“You like that?” 

“Fuck draga you take me so nice… how could I not?” he asked, and then flipped you onto your back. “Now, you lay back and relax; it’s my turn.” 

The breath was stolen from you before you could even respond as he settled himself between your legs and drug his flattened tongue along you. Even with the thin lace between his tongue and your center, a shot like electricity travelled up your spine. His breath was warm against the insides of your thighs, putting a tremble in the muscles as though you’d just done hours of cardio when in reality you’d done nothing but have him touch you. There was already a clench in your stomach, the anticipation of his tongue and fingers on you building exponentially, and a small whimper escaped when he paused, teasing you with his breath and watching your reaction.

“Baz…” 

“Mmhm, draga I know,” he purred, the vibration making your toes curl as he teased his finger beneath your underwear at your hip. “Should these come off? Or do I tease you some more?” 

“Off, please,” you whimpered, and with a rough kiss to you he did as you asked, pulling them down your legs before making himself comfortable between your thighs again. The slight callouses on his fingertips and at the top of his palms contrasted the soft skin of the rest of his hands, making his touch tantalizing and almost raising goose bumps as you arched your back, begging for him without saying anything as he smirked a little and his eyes flashed with desire.

“I don’t know why I don’t do this at least once a day,” he moaned to himself as he lapped at you, tongue moving in luxurious strokes up your folds, and you had a white-knuckled grip on the bed sheets. Only his grip on your hips kept them down on the mattress. “Look so beautiful arching up for me, and my god do I love to taste you.” 

“Oh my god,” you gasped, feeling his tongue press into you, his fingers softly kneading into your thighs, adding to the sensation while simultaneously keeping you from pressing them together against his head while he overloaded your body with sensation. 

“C’mon baby, that’s it, tell me what you like,” he mumbled against your thigh, as your hips bucked beneath his grip. You were so close, the heat of his mouth and skill of his tongue driving you there quicker than you could’ve imagined. 

“Please Sebastian, please,” you begged, and his tongue moved up to tease at your clit while he slid two fingers in easily, curling them forward to stroke you perfectly. That was the push you needed and you came, his name on your lips as you did so. You could feel him moan, his mouth still on you as he worked you through it before swiftly moving up your body, his lips dragging and kissing along your skin the entire way up to your neck. While you still felt leaden in the best way, he lined himself up and softly entered you. After three weeks apart – and like he’d said, with not a whole lot of sex happening due to all the other chaos – it was just as intense as it had been the first few times the two of you had been intimate. 

“Holy fuck Claire…” 

“Jesus Sebastian you feel so good…” 

Soon neither of you could manage real words as he thrust, pace picking up as the two of you found your rhythm again. His breath was hot on your neck, the skin of his back damp where your fingers dug into the solid muscle of his shoulders. There was nothing but the sound of breathing mingled with moans and his body meeting yours, and all too soon the heat was coiling deep in your abdomen again. 

“Baz, baby I’m—”

“Yes, come for me,” he panted, thrusting a little harder and shallower to get you where you needed, and it felt like somebody set off fireworks behind your eyelids when it hit you. Your body wound tight before it felt like somebody snapped a string holding everything together and an immediate burn went through you. You went lax beneath him, fingers still loosely on his shoulders before you moved one hand into the damp hair at the nape of his neck, holding onto him while he gently rocked into you. His movements were soft, not wanting to overwhelm you and make it uncomfortable as wave after wave of pleasure washed over your body.

“So good baby, you’re so good,” he murmured praise at you, before he thrust hard once. Earning a pleased gasp from you, he took it as the okay to move faster, and you knew that he was working toward his own finish as well now. Even if you were pretty sure you were going to get one more out of him before he was done. 

His muscles moved in lithe, fluid perfection, as his hips snapped against your body and you had to hook one leg over his ass in an attempt to move with him and keep up to his movements to help him chase down his orgasm. It was becoming apparent, however, that unless he made a point of not doing it he was going to leave you hanging, on the precipice of another finish but not quite there.

“God… Baz…” 

“Fuck… shit. Hold on, I want you to come again,” his tongue peaked out from between his lips as he scrunched up his nose in concentration. You knew he was close, but it had hit you that you were right there too, and now he was trying to stave off his orgasm to get you to another one. 

“Please, Baz, it’s okay,” you whimpered, body oversensitive from the previous two orgasms, but he wasn’t having any of it. 

“C’mon babe, just want you to come, need you to come on me, please draga,” he groaned and begged, thrusting harder and faster, hands gripping your hips tight enough that you were pretty sure he’d leave a couple of fingerprint sized bruises. 

It hit you then, and with a cry your nails dug into the swell of his ass, and he groaned as his hips stuttered and he let himself go. Once he finished he all but collapsed on top of you, hips still occasionally giving a little jerk as his body came down from the high. Slowly his body relaxed, letting more of his weight rest on you, his skin overheated and clammy with sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead and his grip on your hips relaxing until he was simply holding you while he lay on top of you, trying to slow his breathing. Sebastian’s face was buried against your neck, your own sweat mingling with his between your bodies, your hairline damp while you slid your hand up his back, caressing his warm muscles before burying your hand in his sweaty hair. 

“Jesus… that was incredible,” he mumbled, voice near your ear and breathy from exertion. 

“You’re telling me,” you agreed, and got a throaty, sexy chuckle from your boyfriend as his left hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb stroking the skin even while his face was buried into the pillow beside your head. 

“Is this what honeymoon sex is supposed to be like? I kinda get the feeling we reached that kind of intensity,” he teased, and you laughed. 

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been married before. Got any insight?” 

“Hell no I don’t,” he snorted, but it was half-hearted. “Guess we’ll have to make notes and compare in a couple years, eh?”

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and you swallowed hard before turning slightly to kiss the inside of his palm. “I guess so, eh?” 

You could almost hear the change in his expression, knew he was grinning broadly as he used his hand to pull you closer, his lips brushing your cheek for just a moment. 

“Sounds like a plan. But my current plan is we take a nap, then worry about some supper?” he suggested, and you laughed before nodding. 

“I’m down with that plan, Stan,” you smirked, and he groaned, pulling out and rolling off of you to lay on his back beside you. 

“Worse dad joke, ever,” he complained, and you shot him a questioning look. 

“Not even close. Nothing will ever hit the level of ‘but I’m your old man’, and you know it,” you told him, and he groaned, smacking a hand to his forehead. 

“Shit. I really hoped you’d forget about that,” 

“Not going to happen, old man,” you teased, before kissing his cheek and awkwardly sliding out of bed to make a dash for the bathroom. His laughter followed you even as you shut the door to the ensuite behind you, and while you sighed couldn’t say anything about the fact neither of you had stopped for a condom, _again_. It was turning into a re-occurring thing that needed to stop before the two of you got into trouble. The pill was good but it wasn’t one hundred percent effective and you both knew that. When you returned and slid into bed beside him he had his phone out, and his gaze was warm and loving as he held out his arm so you could settle your head on his chest while he browsed Instagram.

“Your phone buzzed again – I didn’t check it,” he told you, but you sighed and snuggled in. 

“It can wait for an hour,” you mumbled, already falling asleep with his steady heartbeat beneath your cheek. Anything else could wait – you were exactly where you needed to be. Sebastian must have felt the same, as he set an alarm on his phone and tossed it in the general direction of the nightstand beside him before wrapping his arms properly around you and kissing the crown of your head. 

“I love you, Claire,” he whispered into the semi-darkness of your bedroom. You felt his heartbeat change for just an instant, speeding up a tiny bit before going back to its’ regular rhythm, and smiled to yourself. 

“I love you too, Sebastian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I didn't get this chapter up a few days ago. I've been struggling to write papers and doing a shit job of keeping up with school so unfortunately this took a back seat. 
> 
> But to make up for it here's some steamy Baz for you ;)


	43. Chapter 43

“So, uh, did Scott text you back? Did he get things under control?” Sebastian tentatively asked as the two of you settled down in the living room to eat dinner and watch some shitty reality television. He caught you off guard, and had to stick out an arm to help steady you when you nearly tripped over your own feet in surprise. Sebastian usually liked to avoid this conversation at all costs and you definitely hadn’t expected him to bring it up.

“Easy, easy, sorry draga,” he mumbled. 

“I, sorry, you surprised me,” was the response, and you carefully set down your plate on the coffee table, stir fry and noodles still looking unbelievable – the two of you had cooked together and Sebastian had nearly started a food fight with an impish grin – but your appetite was taking a little hit for a moment. In all honesty, you hadn’t checked your phone since getting back to the apartment with Sebastian, and Chris’s meltdown had slipped from your mind. 

“I didn’t check,” you admitted, and Sebastian’s eyes widened. “I was a little preoccupied. See, I have this _gorgeous_ boyfriend who I haven’t seen in weeks…” 

With that he laughed, surprising you a little at how easily it came from him as he fell back against the couch. “Oh really? Now you’ve got my attention, draga. Do tell.”

“Oh yes, he’s just drop-dead sexy,” you purred, making him chuckle and blush a little as he settled down, crossing his arms behind his head while you leaned in toward him and trailed a finger down his chest just to tease. “And he’s so sweet, and kind. He’s incredibly smart and passionate, and my god he’s got the biggest—”

“Easy draga!” he blushed, pulling you into his arms as he laughed and nuzzled at your temple. “You’ll make me jealous, how am I supposed to compete with all that?”

“ _Heart_. He has the biggest _heart_ you perv,” you chuckled at him, and he laughed again. “And as far as being jealous? You should know better than that,” you replied, kissing his cheek softly as his grip went from a little tight and playful to gentle and tender and he leaned his head against yours. 

“I love you, so much,” he murmured against your hair, before letting out a long breath and letting his grip slacken, his head still pressed against yours. The two of you sat there for a moment, before you kissed his cheek again and leaned forward to reclaim your plate from the coffee table before your dinner got cold. Sebastian followed suit, putting his plate on his lap and pressing one more kiss to your temple before he flicked through the trash TV options, selecting the Bachelor before digging into his food. Neither of you particularly liked watching reality TV, but it had become a bit of a thing the past two weeks. With nothing else on at the same time for the two of you except this and its’ reruns, you’d began watching it together over Skype, griping and complaining the whole time but now secretly kind of addicted to how painful it was.

“This is so stupid,” you groaned, watching this guy go on a date with like four different women in the space of a day. “Like, who thinks they’ll find true love doing something as ridiculous as signing up for a _TV_ show?” 

Sebastian shrugged, slurping down a couple noodles before sitting back a bit. “Well, I don’t know. It _is_ ridiculous to think that like twelve women dating the same dude at the same time is gonna get them anywhere real. But, I mean, technically we started dating because of Marvel. How else would we have met otherwise? Not the _same_ I know, but…” 

“But you are right, I guess,”

“Yeah. And fuck am I ever grateful for that,” he drawled, making you giggle and kiss the corner of his lips, tongue peaking out a tiny bit because he had sweet and sour sauce there that had been bothering you for a couple minutes already. 

“Frisky are we?” he teased, and you giggled before kissing him properly, his tongue skilfully and artfully teasing at your lips as you purposefully kept the kiss chaste, trying not to smirk all the while. He pouted for a millisecond before going back to his food and the show. 

“Jesus Chr—is she gonna actually _sleep_ with him?” he gasped something like ten minutes later. “Now that’s insane… how does she know he hasn’t fucked all of them?”

“See? Stupidity,” you reaffirmed, nodding slightly as you picked up the two empty plates and set them in the sink. Sebastian shook his head in disbelief and then got up to join you, obviously expecting to start doing dishes and cleaning up. There wasn’t much to do, in all honesty, and you quickly put the leftovers in the fridge before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pecking his lips again. 

“What’re…” 

“C’mon, is it really so bad that I just want to cuddle you? Those dishes can wait,” with a soft smile and a tug at the front of his t-shirt he padded along behind you back to the couch, where he settled himself down and pulled you in to lay partly on and partly beside him. Once the two of you were comfortable, Sebastian’s heart beat steady and strong beneath your cheek, you let out a long and comfortable sigh. Things felt better with him here, life felt better with him present and happy and comfortable. The grin that was teasing at your lips began to take over when you realized this was your _life_ now; once you had your two weeks break from filming the two of you would be flying to Lancaster to pack and organize your apartment to move to New York. Every day and night at home would be home _with_ Sebastian, work being the exception. Waking up and seeing both of your clothes in the closet, two toothbrushes in the cup, his favourite mug beside yours in the cupboard. It put a warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach that seemed to seep into your blood and your bones and consume you as if someone had lit a fire inside of you and poured gasoline on it.

“What’s on your mind?” he whispered a few minutes later, having sensed the way you’d tensed a little and fidgeted before positively going lax and trying to press yourself tight into his body. His hand on your hip slid down to your lower back to hold you closer, and his breath was warm against your cheek. 

“It just hit me that this is what it’s going to be like now,” you answered, voice equally as soft and quiet, hardly filling the space between the two of you. “In a couple of weeks, being at home means being at home with you.” 

He stilled for a moment, and in an instant was holding you in a near-crushing grip, taking a few long breaths. 

“Fuck… you’re right. Totally right… Claire, baby in a couple months I get to come home to you _every night_ ,” he said, and you could hear the excitement and joy in his voice. “That’s… that’s amazing.” 

“Did it just start to really hit you too?” 

He nodded, hair flopping into his eyes a little bit with the motion before he pushed his bangs back off of his face. “Hearing you talk about it is like smacking me in the face with it. Like I know it’s happening and I can’t wait but hearing you talk about it makes it _real_.” 

That was the same sensation you were experiencing. It had been nearly a month since the decision to move in had been made, and even now, at random, it would hit you that it was happening. In the next few months you and Sebastian would be celebrating birthdays together, had been together for two years, living together, the whole nine yards. It was incredible and unbelievable almost. 

So instead of speaking, because there were no words to properly convey what it meant to you, you buried your face against his chest and simply inhaled the comforting, distinctively male scent of him, a mix of body wash, aftershave, and the slightest hint of an earthy cologne. He understood, in the way he softly kissed the crown of your head and buried his face in your hair, doing the exact same thing. The two of you laid there in near silence until you could hear two phones vibrating, and with a groan lifted your head. 

“Both of us? Really?” you complained, and your boyfriend’s expression mirrored your feelings as the two of you slowly and begrudgingly got up from the couch and sauntered into your room to retrieve your phones. 

“It’s Chace. Shit I was supposed to call him when I got here,” he groaned, and shot you a sheepish look. “He’s gonna give me shit and I’m not gonna hear the end of the raunchy comments for a while.” 

You repressed a giggle, knowing that was exactly what Chace would do the instant Sebastian connected the call, and then saw that Chris’s number was on your screen. Sebastian steeled himself, taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders before kissing your cheek. 

“It’s okay; if you need to talk to him, and all. I’ll just go to the kitchen and answer my call,” he murmured, lips brushing your skin. 

“Love you Baz,” you replied, and kissed him quickly. He managed a bit of a half-hearted smile before he connected his call. 

“Hey, Chace, sorry I—”

“JESUS MAN DID YOU EVEN SAY HELLO TO HER OR JUST TOOK HER TO BED? COULDN’T EVEN GIVE ME A TEXT TO SAY YOUR PLANE DIDN’T CRASH YOU DICKHEAD!” 

Chace’s voice travelled loud and clear across the room, and both of you were laughing even as Sebastian squeezed your arm gently in support before putting his phone up to his ear and wandering down the hall. You took a deep breath and pressed accept, before lifting your phone up just the same. 

“Hey, Chris,” 

“Claire… fuck ‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to just…” 

“Have you been drinking?” you asked, and heard a shaky breath. Hammered and emotional and even if he _had_ gone to the doctor like you’d urged for anti depressants he probably wouldn’t know if they worked for a few more weeks yet. It took a while for medications to get into the system and begin showing results, one of the most painful parts of the process. There was no cut and dried system for which medication would work for him, and it was a lengthy trial and error kind of situation to find the right one. 

“Yes, ‘m sorry Claire, I ‘s trying,” he morosely mumbled, and you made sure he didn’t hear your little sigh. He needed support, not a lecture, and you knew that. Alcohol could be just as tempting and addictive as anything else, and until Chris had a handle on everything in his life it would be hard for him to control it. 

“I know, Chris, I know. Are you at home?” you asked, and heard an affirmative sound. 

“Yeah, couldn’t leave Dodger by ‘imself,” 

“That’s good, that’s really good. Are you… okay? Are you safe?” that question still sent a chill down your spine every time, but after talking with the therapist – you’d spent ten minutes the last time you’d spoken discussing how best to help support Chris without being a professional – that it was an important thing to determine. Okay was very subjective. Safe was not, and with the states he could get in you needed to know whether Scott needed to be on high alert or even staying in the house with him. Chris had never really had an episode where he’d thought he wasn’t safe from causing himself any kind of harm outside of a wicked hangover the next morning, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen and you didn’t want to disregard the fact. 

“I… I’m… I don’t really know,” he admitted, words slurring slightly as your heart stopped in your chest. 

“Don’t know if you’re okay or if you’re safe?” you whispered, guilt and fear slowly gripping your throat and constricting it. 

“Either,” he whimpered, and you closed your eyes tight before putting him on speakerphone to text his brother. He must’ve taken Chris home and had deemed that his brother was okay enough for him to leave, but maybe Chris had played it off a bit to not worry his little brother too much. He was very guilty of doing that. 

“Chris… should you be by yourself?” you asked, voice as even as you could manage, and you heard a terrifying silence on the other end of the line. You could feel seconds ticking by with no answer coming from him, every passing instant making the hair raise up on the back of your neck with trepidation. There was no denying how worried you were for him.

“I…” 

“Chris, please be honest with me,” you begged, and heard him swallow hard. 

“I don’t honestly know. I feel like everything in my head is clawing and fighting to get out and I can’t stop it and it fucking scares me,” he admitted, and your hands began to shake as Scott answered your message in all caps, probably in a panic over the change in his brothers’ condition. 

“That’s okay, Chris, it’s okay,” you soothed, softening your voice some more. “You can do it, Chris, I know you can. I believe in you, so can you take a few deep breaths with me? Please?” 

You heard the first one, incredibly shaky and uneven, his exhale sounding ragged and he coughed once, sounding like he was choking on air. 

“There, good job, that’s it,” you tried to be encouraging, coaching him through a few more deep breaths, until his voice didn’t sound quite so razor thin, like he was straddling the edge of an invisible cliff, the anxiety threatening to toss him over the edge at any moment. 

“Thanks Claire,” he mumbled, and you swallowed hard as you sat down on your bed, the smell of Sebastian surrounding you. You pulled the pillow he’d napped on close, hoping to draw some strength from just the thought of his presence. 

“Of course, Chris. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you earlier,” you apologized, and immediately he shook it off, the way he always did. 

“Is… why is Scott pulling up?” he suddenly asked, and you mentally groaned. You hadn’t even warned him. 

“I… I texted him, when you said you weren’t sure if you should be by yourself,” you explained, and as if the two of you were connected by an invisible thread you felt the tension change, as if he’d grabbed it and was about to yank it from your grip. 

“Why? Why would you do that?” 

“Because I was scared for you, okay? I don’t want anything to happen to you, Chris. We just want you to be safe,” you told him, and heard a harsh breath escape him. 

“He’s my little brother. I don’t want him to see all this. I’m not supposed to be like this to him,” he growled, and you shut your eyes tight. It was anxiety and worry that was making him say these things, you knew, but it was still painful to think _you’d_ been the one to fuck up and do the wrong thing when everybody had to be so careful with him. 

“Chris, he knows, and he understands, okay? I know he’s your little brother, but he loves you and he wants you safe. I know it’s hard, I know you don’t want him to have to see all this, but he just wants you safe,” 

“You shouldn’t have said anything to him. He only left the house like an hour and a half ago,” Chris snapped, and you ran a hand through your hair in exasperation.

“And what have you done since he left?” you challenged, and heard him stop dead, breath escaping as you caught him. “Did you start drinking again after he left?”

“I… I…” 

“Chris,” your heart broke a little, and as if he’d let go of that invisible rope the tension was gone and Chris was just as upset as he’d been when you’d answered his call. He was falling apart again, and you didn’t know what had triggered it. 

“I’m so sorry Claire, I should go,” 

“No! Chris, please,” you begged, feeling your voice increase in volume without even meaning to. “Please just stay on the phone till he’s there, okay? I don’t want anything to happen to you.” 

“You shouldn’t say that if you don’t mean it,” he sighed, and your heart stopped before it flung itself at your ribcage, almost painfully. His words still had the power to hurt you, you realized, even when he didn’t mean it. 

“What?”

“I know you’re just putting up with me because you feel sorry for me, because you’re a good person and I’m a fucking mess. I know you love _him_ , and you don’t care about me. I just don’t know why I can’t fucking accept it and just leave you be,” he cried, and you felt your blood run cold a little bit. 

“Chris, that’s wrong, and you know it; of course I care, and of course I mean it. I want you to be safe and to get better, you know that,” you carefully answered, texting Scott to please hurry and get inside. In his panic he’d forgotten his spare key to Chris’s home and was currently trying to find the spare hidden somewhere by the front door. You both knew Chris wasn’t in the state of mind to let someone in.

“No, it’s not. Scott panicked and called you and you feel guilty so you talk to me,” his voice was empty, in a way that terrified you far worse than any other swing of emotion he’d experienced through the phone call. This was anxiety fuelling depression and fear and some extreme level of self-loathing you hadn’t truly seen from him. But it made a shiver run down your spine wondering if he truly was all right. 

“That’s wrong, Chris. I care, and I mean it, and you know that’s true. I know the anxiety tells you otherwise, but we all want you to be safe and be happy and get better,” you repeated, and heard him sniff. 

“Why’m I so broken, Claire?” he whispered, and you chewed on your bottom lip. 

“I don’t know Chris, I really don’t. Sometimes we all just break, but the important part? The defining part? Is working to put ourselves back together. Sometimes we can’t do it by ourselves, and that’s okay, but we have to let the people who care about us and want to help us do that,” you answered, and heard the creak that told you Sebastian was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, probably too unsure of himself to come in all the way. You chanced a look up at him, and saw a mixture of pain, hurt and anger swirling in the stormy depths of his eyes, even as the muscles in his jaw clenched and he tried to keep his expression neutral. Even though he was struggling you held out your hands to him, hoping he would recognize that you needed him, that his presence and strength was what was going to hold you together and that you wanted that from him. In an instant his entire being seemed to soften as the anger faded out of him and he was beside you, wrapping you up in his arms and kissing the top of your head, rubbing your back. He truly was a wonderful human. And you hoped Sebastian would recognize the fact that, even though Chris needed you sometimes, you consciously chose him and needed him, and that that wouldn’t change.

“I don’t think I can do that, Claire,” Chris admitted, and you closed your eyes and leaned into Sebastian’s strong chest. “It’s just… it’s too much sometimes.” 

“You can do it and you will do it, okay? Is Scott there? Can you let him in?” you asked, and felt Chris steel himself. 

“I don’t want to,” 

“Chris, he loves you. He’s your brother, and it’s killing him that you won’t even let him try to be there for you. We just want to help, Chris, we just want you to be okay,” you told him, and felt your boyfriend’s deep inhale and exhale around you, his hand still rubbing your back and trying to support and comfort you. 

“Well that’s… fuck, Seb flew out today, didn’t he?” Chris seemed to stop dead, and you squeezed Sebastian’s knee as his grip on you tightened. 

“Yeah, I picked him up this afternoon after filming,” 

“Shit. Shit. ‘M sorry, I’ll go, he’s probably fucking pissed I even called,” Chris fretted, and you looked up at Sebastian whose expression gave away a little bit of guilt and hurt at the rather harsh description. 

“N-no, I’m not, uh, I’m not fucking pissed you called, Chris. Sorry, I just, uh I just walked back into the room and saw Claire was a little upset, I wasn’t, I wasn’t trying to, to listen in or anything,” he stuttered his way through, and quiet was all that met your ears. 

“Chris?” your voice sounded quiet and weak, which was upsetting. 

“I’m sorry, Seb, I’m so sorry,” Chris’ voice wavered and broke, and Sebastian’s fingers dug into your hip a little bit. 

“Chris…” 

“No I am. I fucked everything up, I hurt her, I hurt you, I pissed you off and I keep fucking things up and I’m just—”

“ _Chris_ ,” Sebastian’s voice was firm and quieted the panic on the other end, even as you heard some commotion that must have meant Scott was barrelling his way into the house, because Dodger was now barking excitedly. “You didn’t. I… uh… I mean, I’m not, not really okay with everything, but I…” 

Sebastian’s look of pure discomfort and fear for you made you stretch up and press a chaste kiss to his lips. He didn’t know how to say what was going on with him without making Chris feel worse and obviously realized the severity of the situation so didn’t want to add to it. 

“He’s still really upset about it, Chris, but he’s working on it. The same way you need to be working on it,” you spoke up, and hoped you weren’t impeding on Sebastian’s ability to explain for himself. “Both of us have been going and getting help for stuff, and making sure we’re being there for each other and letting each other be supportive and helpful because it’s healthier, for both of us that way.” 

“Yeah, I… I went through a bunch of shit, so I mean, we’re still trying to work on that, and, and I didn’t really want Claire to… fuck…” Sebastian’s voice tapered off, and you could hear Chris’s uneven breath.

“To have anything to do with me?” 

“Chris—”

“To be honest? When I first found out you were texting her? Yeah, you’re right. I really didn’t want Claire talking to you or trying to do all this,” Sebastian admitted, and you felt your heart drop into your stomach. You heard Scott’s voice, calming Dodger, and then Chris mumbled something before you heard the padding of feet and the closing of a sliding door. He must have gone to his back deck. “It killed me and made me angry. But… but I know you guys were really good friends and it means a lot to her. She cares about whether you’re doing well or not, Chris, it kills her that you’re struggling about it. I want Claire to be happy and to be okay, and part of that is making sure her friends are okay, and that... that includes you, Chris. I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with this or whatever but _she is_ , and that means you don’t take for granted the fact that you’ve got her support and her care even after everything you did.” 

It was harsh, his words starting to spew out faster the more he let them as the emotions bubbled back up to the surface, untethered by any kind of fear or retribution for his words. You winced a little, hoping Chris wouldn’t break down over it, and while his breathing sounded a little rough he didn’t seem to outwardly be too distraught.   
“I… yeah I understand,” was the quiet response, and then you heard the sliding of the door and Scott asking who he was talking to. “I… Seb you’re right. I, um, thanks for, for talking to me. I should, uh… go. Um, thanks Claire, I’ll uh, I’m sorry for bugging you.” 

“It’s okay, Chris. I’m just glad you’re okay,” you softly told him, and felt Sebastian exhale a little. 

“We’re… we’re both glad you’re okay,” Sebastian piped up quickly, and you heard Chris’s breath catch before he mumbled a thanks and quickly disconnected the call as Scott started talking to him. 

“I’m sorry Baz, I know you said you weren’t ready or wanting to talk to him or anything and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to I just wanted to snuggle you because it was hard and I—”

His lips crashing against yours silenced you, and while your brain was running a million miles an hour your body relaxed without any instruction, letting his tongue sweep your mouth and his hands press you into his chest. 

“’s okay, love,” he growled against your lips, teeth scratching the soft skin a little as he did so. “I think you may have missed a great second calling, iubit. You would’ve made a wonderful therapist.” 

You were surprised by his compliment, the softening words contradicting the physical behaviour, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, slowing his kisses a little in order to breathe and let your mind play catch up. 

“I just…” 

“It’s okay, draga I’m not upset. He might’ve needed it, and… and I needed to take that step, for you,” he continued, kissing along your jaw and moving to your neck, pulling an involuntary gasp from you before he pushed your phone to the far side of the mattress in order to maneuver the two of you until you were lying down with his body over top of yours. His hands wandered then, hands slipping beneath the thin cotton shorts you’d thrown on after the afternoon nap the two of you had taken, and soon he was tugging at both of your clothes. It seemed odd, that moments ago he’d been upset and even a little angry, and now somehow he’d turned a full 180. 

“Draga, you okay?” he asked, lifting himself up a little and putting a tiny bit of space between the two of you. You nodded, still a little confused but happy that he seemed to be so… _fine_ after all that had transpired. So instead you kissed him back, helping him undress the two of you before his fingers were teasing you, and after he fumbled quickly in the nightstand for a condom, rolling it on he eased in, your back arching beneath him from the feeling of him filling you. 

“I love you so much Claire,” he murmured against your neck, softly rocking over you and loving you. 

“I love you too, Baz,” you answered, kissing him softly as you buried a hand in his hair. Every motion was a weird mix of soft and gentle with just a hint of domineering, _commanding_ almost in the way he nuzzled and nipped at your neck but kept his body tight against yours. It was a little different from how the two of you normally were together, but with emotions running high that would’ve been easy enough to understand. He felt far too wonderful as he loved your body to that high and through it to put much more thought into it.

With a soft groan he finished, and kissed you soundly before pulling out and collapsing to the bed beside you, gathering you into his arms and covering you again. It only took a few moments for you to squirm a little, slipping from his grip to excuse yourself to the bathroom while he sat up to take care of the condom. When you returned your phone was on the nightstand, in airplane mode, and Sebastian’s sleepy but slightly sheepish and reluctant grin gave him away. 

“I’m sorry, draga, I just… that was a lot for one night. I just want you to myself for the rest of it, if that’s okay,” he explained, and with a sigh and a nod you snuggled into him, understanding he’d just gone through a tumultuous emotional roller coaster too. 

Something in his words struck a chord, the tiniest pinprick of a notion that something was off, but you were too tired and exhausted to think much of it, and instead let your eyes fall shut and Sebastian’s rhythmic breathing lull you to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We haven't seen the last of Chris y'all... and aw to Baz for putting himself out there for Claire :)
> 
> I just want to give a heads up that I likely won't be able to post for at least a _solid_ week to two weeks - it's finals season people... (and also the last semester of undergraduate finals season for this girl! EEEP!) so I'm going to apologize that while I'll be able to comment back I won't be able to do much writing/posting during this time! 
> 
> Thanks! Let me know what you think! :)


	44. Chapter 44

“Okay, so I’ll see you at five?” Sebastian asked, putting the car into park in front of the lot where AoS was shooting for the day. After today, you had the whole weekend to spend with him, amidst a weird mix of shooting between AoS and doing some reshoots for the romcom you were also working on. Thankfully they’d been very generous about giving you time to go see Sebastian when things had been shaky as well as allowing you to keep up to your role on the TV show. 

In a pair of bright blue Raybans, Sebastian looked the epitome of cool celebrity; his hair waving just so, a stylish heather gray t-shirt on and a pair of slim cut dark jeans. Handsome could’ve been his middle name, if he had one, and you leaned back over to kiss him again, unable to believe somehow he was all yours. 

“Should be – I’ll shoot you a text if I’m worried we’ll run late. And Lizzie wants to steal us for dinner tonight; might end up being a bit of a crew plus you thing, if that’s okay?” 

“Sounds great – she texted me a congrats with a bunch of emojis I couldn’t understand after she found out we were moving in together,” he chuckled, and you snorted at him. Sebastian not understanding weird emojis? Half the time you couldn’t decode what he used them for and you’d been dating him for over a year and a half. Not to mention his Instagram comments. They may as well have been Greek for all it explained to you most of the time. Although in his defence he was getting considerably better.

“You couldn’t understand her emojis? Shame on you, Stan,” you teased, and got a playful growl, his hand on your arm gently keeping you from hopping out of the car. A play shriek escaped, and you were laughing as he pulled you in tight, mussing your hair up a little before kissing you again. 

“Don’t even start with me, missy,” he warned, and booped your nose with his finger softly before kissing the spot. “Anyhow, I guess I’ll find a way to occupy myself for the day while you’re gone. Are you going to want to come back to the apartment and shower and change before dinner or should I dress half-decently when I come to pick you up?” 

You thought on it for a moment, letting your chin rest on his shoulder before you shrugged. “I have no clue. I’ll ask her what she’s planning and let you know?” 

“Sounds good, draga. Now you better get to work or they’ll all be mad that I’m making you late,” he insisted, kissing you once more for good measure before you slid out of the car. 

“Love you Baz,” you waved cheekily, blowing him a kiss before shutting the car door. You watched him mouth it back to you, puckering up his lips and mimicking blowing a kiss back before you shouldered your bag and walked to the hair and makeup trailer. He stayed in his parking spot until he saw you open the door, and then you heard him back out and drive off of the lot. The instant you were inside it was like you were attacked by a herd of gossip lions. 

“Oh my God, that was the cutest thing ever!” 

“Like a high school boyfriend dropping you off at class!” 

“You two are _adorable_ ,” 

You waved them off, blushing only a little as you stashed your bag in its usual cubby and dropped into your chair, pulling your hair out of its ponytail and grimacing as it sprung back into its’ wild and wavy mess. There had been no time to tame it down before the girls’ saw it; Sebastian had joined you in the shower and that had resulted in you being rather rushed to get ready for work. Case in point; you were wearing a pair of capris usually reserved for lounging at home or the gym, and a muscle shirt which may or may not have actually been Sebastian’s from his pre-Marvel, Gossip Girl days and fit you considerably better than it did him anymore. The smell of him was all but imprinted on the fabric after a few years of him wearing it, and it was like a little security blanket in shirt form. 

“Jeez girl, he must have kept you busy last night,” Chloe teased, and you tried your hardest not to blush. 

“Why would you say that?” 

“Because you’re dressed like you did the walk of shame to get here instead of coming from your own place,” she cackled, tugging at the side of the muscle shirt as she walked by. 

“Oh you shush. I was just feeling like really comfy clothes today,” you defended yourself, purposefully ignoring what she was teasing at even as the other girls giggled and laughed at you. 

“She looks fine,” Lizzie piped up, and you shot her a grin as she took her seat beside you, looking like she’d been styled in a flowy top, high waisted denim shorts and wedges, her hair falling in graceful beach waves. 

“Ugh if only I could wake up and look like you,” you groaned, making Lil start to laugh on your other side. 

“Then I don’t think your boyfriend would be your boyfriend,” Lizzie teased, and the two of you laughed before it was time to sit still and let the girls work their makeup and hair magic on the two of you. 

Forty minutes later, a few fake cuts and bruises added to the makeup regime, you changed into the outfit that had been set aside for you for shooting. A dark, not quite cropped but short, t-shirt, a deep red zip up, and a pair of dark torn jeans, a leather jacket layered over them for good measure and motorcycle boots. Lizzie was dressed in slightly lighter colors; going for navy and olive greens rather than the mostly black ensemble you had. Wanda Maximoff wasn’t quite as dark as Alessandra was in that department. Alessandra had more of the Bucky Barnes ‘convict on the run’ kind of style, which was fine if it hadn’t been so goddamn hot out. 

“I’m already sweating bullets, this is awful,” you complained, and Lizzie nodded, picking at her own heavy overcoat. 

“I know, you have it the worst out of all of us,” she grimaced. With that the two of you wandered onto the set proper, and after a quick review of lines and a rundown of the scenes you went to work. 

Your character and Wanda knew each other from the Avengers movies; you’d done two of them, and while the first you’d spent most of your time ‘on the run’ with Bucky and Falcon, your character Alessandra and Wanda had become tight allies by the very end, which had bled into her having some tiny appearances in your solo movie and the two of you getting even thicker than thieves in the last Avengers film, fighting off invading Skrulls. Not that that movie had come out yet; it would hit theaters just a few months before this season of the show would reach the air. The premiere for your solo film was coming up too, and Sebastian was nearly as excited as you were for it. 

“And… action!” the director called, and the two of you ran onto the set, which nearly went perfect until your toe caught a tile and you toppled down just a few feet from the mark. 

“Ugh…” 

“C’mon, get up,” Lizzie hissed, tugging and pulling at you, not breaking character, and so you quickly scrambled up, grabbing her arm and putting a little jump at the end as if she’d picked you up with her red energy, and the two of you flung yourselves behind the blackened car where your marks were. 

“D’you think…?” 

“No, I don’t think anybody saw us,” she answered, before smirking slightly at you. “But it wasn’t for lack of trying.” 

“Thanks. You’re freaking hilarious. A regular comedian,” you rolled your eyes, before staring to where the mark was, in front of set and off to the right, eyes narrowing as you pretended to inspect the target. There was a crewmember with a star taped on his shirt, moving the way they had filmed the agents moving just yesterday so that they could blend the scenes without too much issue. 

“There’s four or five of ‘em,” you whispered, projecting your voice just enough that the boom would pick it up. “I don’t know how we’re getting out of here without them spotting us.” 

You slumped back behind the car, pulling out your – very fake – handgun and checking the clip before slamming it back home and hiding the gun in the waistband of your jeans again. Another tactical move your character had ‘picked up’ from Bucky. 

“Maybe a diversion would help? I don’t have enough ammo for all of them,” you suggested, and Lizzie nodded, her own eyes scanning the set around the two of you.

“What kind of distraction are you thinking?” 

“A fairly big one. SHIELD were the reason all this mess happened in the first place, I won’t be too heartbroken if we take down five of their agents who’ve been chasing us for weeks,” you growled, turning slightly to eye up the mark again and scowling in that general direction. “It’s because of them that Steve’s…. that he’s…” you closed your eyes tight and scrunched up your nose, breathing heavily for a moment or two until Lizzie’s hand was on your shoulder. 

“I know,” she whispered, and you managed a terse smile before you slid a near-blank expression onto your face, the one you’d made Sebastian do time and time again so you could learn it. It was the Winter Soldier face, and your boyfriend had spent more than a couple hours helping you perfect it.

Marvel had had Bucky be the key-point in introducing your character; a runaway from the Red Room project, who’d been plucked out of American suburbia for training. It went against all of their protocol, but with the Winter Soldier having been the only one who could try and train the girls to be unmistakable as Americans, and his skills being required on missions, they’d decided to change tactic and take an American who wouldn’t need as much extra training. HYDRA had seen the way that Alessandra had taken to the soldier, had learned and mimicked his abilities so well, so they had stolen her away for their own purposes when they pulled him from the project. 

With a knock off version of serum in her veins they’d wiped her mind and trained her, until she’d been left KIA after a mission went wrong. A spy just outside of Wakanda had found her, and when Steve Rogers whisked away Bucky Barnes and crew to T’Challa’s country for safety they’d stumbled across a girl frozen up on a mountain, so eerily similar to the way he and Bucky had been. Bucky had been the one to fight and argue, insist that she deserved the same second chance he’d been given once they learned who she was, and then their past had come to light, even though she was no longer the young teen protégé he sort of but not really remembered. She’d been awake while Bucky had been in cryo-freeze in Wakanda, Steve taking her under his wing, and once a rogue HYDRA agent had discovered her and nearly forced her to hurt him, she’d taken Bucky’s place in the cryo-tube during the Infinity War. She was too dangerous to her teammates for a fight against Thanos, and a broken and tearful Bucky had been the one to bring her back after the fall out.

But Marvel had figured that she needed a boyfriend, and in the last movie Chris was in, they had nearly tried to put the two of them together, seeing as how fans were not impressed with Steve and Sharon’s relationship. You’d thought it felt a little forced, as had Chris, and Sebastian hadn’t been pleased with it either, so eventually it was dropped, the affectionate phrases taking on a more brother-sister feel than anything else. But if the way Bucky had swooped in to help you save the day at the end of your upcoming film, Marvel maybe had Alessandra in Bucky’s sights. But regardless of her also spotty memory, she blamed HYDRA for much of her loss, including the dysfunction and craziness that had sent half of the Avengers to exile in Wakanda. She even round-aboutly blamed them for the loss of her other mentor Steve Rogers’ life, and you had to play that up hard in scenes like this. Wanda had been in a very similar boat, even if it was Clint who’d become the more parental figure to the character, and that had only driven the characters closer together throughout their story arcs. 

“So take ‘em down,” you growled, and soon Lizzie was doing her finger-stuff, and with a grunt she flung herself forward, arms outstretched and fingers twitching as if she’d thrown something. With that the director yelled cut, and the two of you broke character in like a half a second. 

“Oh my _God_ I can’t believe you fell!” she cackled, and you groaned as you sat back against the prop car. 

“Ugh it hurt so bad. Like I’m probably gonna bruise my knees,” you complained, and then got up so the two of you could wander back to the monitors to see how everything had looked.

“Gotta say, the fall actually played into the scene really well,” Jesse grinned at you, and you groaned and blushed again, tugging at the three layers of clothing you were wearing in the sweltering Los Angeles heat. 

“I’m so sorry, my boot just caught the edge of that cement and I went down,” 

“I think it works better than without, actually. It’s hard to remember you two are just humans, right? So I think we’ll keep it like this – the rest of what you two shot for this scene is phenomenal. Like, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were actually Wanda and Alessandra out there,” he grinned, looking over the moon excited, which was contagious in the smiles tugging at your and Lizzie’s features. 

“Yeah? It was good?” 

“Here, just watch,” he soon had the footage rewound and played it back for you. While it was still so strange seeing yourself in any kind of scene, you realized it kind of was easy to remove yourself and watch it. Which you couldn’t really say about every aspect of your performance in your first Avengers film; Sebastian had told you that it was what watching Infinity War had been like, that it was so engulfing that he could forget it was actually himself in it and instead he was just watching the MCU and Bucky happened to be in it with a resemblance to him. Personally, you thought I, Tonya was the movie that he completely separated himself from a character in – it still unnerved you a little, watching such an amazing film, _knowing_ your boyfriend was in it, but not being able to find any of him in the character at all.

“Wow…” 

“Yeah… that’s crazy! It looks awesome!” Lizzie grinned, and you nodded. 

“So, safe to say you guys nailed it,” Jesse beamed over, and soon was off arranging for the next scene. 

“Damn girl, you good,” you told Lizzie, who laughed some more as the two of you wandered over to grab some water and prep for the next scene. 

“Okay, you ready?” Jesse asked you, and you swallowed hard before nodding. You were in a harness – Wanda’s powers were going to be ‘lifting and soaring you between two buildings’ – and a little scared shitless. You hadn’t had to really do this in a couple of months, and the usual stunt trainers you’d worked with on every Marvel movie you’d been a part of hadn’t been available. You knew it was ridiculous to be nervous because it wasn’t your guys setting everything up, but it still worried you. 

“As I’m gonna be,” you nodded, and took a deep breath. You had spent forty-five minutes this afternoon sweating and rehearsing this scene and the fight sequence that came right after, you could do it. It was all tested over and over before you were even put in a harness, so no need to panic, right?

“Okay, we’re rolling, so whenever you’re ready, Claire,” Jesse’s voice came over the little loudspeaker he carried for when he was far away from the actor’s and needed to give direction, and the stunt guys gave you a pat on the shoulder and a high five and soon slid out of sight of the cameras. You took a couple deep breaths and dipped your head, saying a little prayer for extra help, and then slid into character. You were familiar with Alessandra now, it was like slipping into a second skin, like putting on a mask with her face and forgetting yourself. Somehow she came easy to you even though some of what you had to do to fill her role scared you. 

When you lifted your head it was slowly and deliberately, grey eyes shifting and searching out the set around you, before you grit your teeth. 

“Wanda? You there?” you hissed into the fake earpiece. You had to imagine her speaking back, and so you let out a long breath and let your gaze zero in on the rooftop some forty feet away. 

“Just like we practiced,” you told her, and pushed off as hard as you could, running straight and pumping your arms and legs a little farther than you normally would to look better for the camera. A hard push off the edge of the rooftop, and you felt the slack go out of the harness and line as it helped carry you across. Partway – which was a solid fourteen feet or so – you felt it give a little tug higher up, and you let your arms circle a tiny bit before you hit the second rooftop running, and moving into a roll behind a fan. 

“Cut! Perfect!” Jesse’s voice came over the speaker again and you slumped back against the giant fan box, letting your tongue loll out as everybody laughed at you, able to see you on the monitors. 

“That was great! You guys are really nailing it today!” Jesse said, before you got the feeling he was going to ask for one more take just in case. 

“Can we just…” 

“Yessir,” you cut him off, giving a tiny smart-assed salute before unhooking your main guide line and going to the ladder to climb down and walk back to the first building and climb back up. The techs had offered to just scoot you across on the line, but you politely declined. There was only so much of hanging by a literal thread that you could handle in a day. 

“You got this girl,” Lizzie called up some encouragement, which got her two thumbs up as you were being reattached to the wire. The lucky stinker got to stay on the ground good and proper, pretending to give you a boost where your super-soldier-ness couldn’t quite get the job done. 

“And… Action!” 

You repeated it, this time taking a little more time in your assessment and trying to play a little bit more of the internal struggle on your face; kind of a ‘do I try it? Do I not? Will I even _make_ it? Well screw it, no other way, Wanda’s got this,’ before steeling yourself and then going through the physical action of the jump the same way you had every other time. This time, however, when you went to land you felt the harness grab you harder as your feet touched the ground and you went into the roll, and suddenly the breath was stolen from you as it constricted your abdomen and ribs and stopped you in your tracks like a brick wall. You were pulled backwards, hard, as if you’d been on an elastic line and had gone too far, only for it to snap you back towards the ledge of the building where you landed hard. The gasp it pulled from your lips was audible on the mics, and soon the stunt man on this building, Trent, was at your side, unfastening you and trying to ask over and over if you were all right, if anything hurt. 

“I’m winded,” you managed to tell him, voice sounding hoarse and rough as you struggled to get breath. It felt like somebody had thrown you at a guardrail at forty miles an hour. There was black invading the very outer edges of your vision as your whole torso screamed in pain and even just trying to get a shallow breath in was too much.

“Okay, I’m gonna pull your shirt up a bit, all right? I just wanna check out your ribs,” he said, and you nodded, flopping onto your back and continuing to struggle for oxygen as he pulled the layers up to where the harness was sitting, and when his fingers gently brushed the same place a hiss escaped you and you curled in on yourself. It was all you could do to keep from crying out at the intensity of the burning sensation the small touch had caused.

“Shit… shit. Okay, just stay still, all right? I think you’ve maybe cracked a rib or two… so just lie still and I’ll get a medic up to check you out good and proper, all right?” his voice was even and calming even as he told you that you were injured, so you simply nodded and let the few tears stream down your cheeks as he called down to the techs at the bottom of the ladder on the side of the building. The pain was throbbing, intense, like a band across the bottom of your ribs that was pushing into you without letting up. 

By the time the medic got up there the tears were falling freely and you were sniffling, and you heard the kerfuffle that was Lizzie pushing her way through people to get up there with you. As soon as she was in sight she was grabbing your hand and pushing a few stray hairs off of your face, cooing that you’d be okay and that they’d get you fixed up in no time. 

“I want to take her for X-rays; I don’t think they’re cracked, likely just very bruised, but we want to be sure there are no breaks,” he assessed you, fingers very gentle as he checked out the pained area and then moved to scoop you up. They’d rigged some kind of chair lift, and with all of the tenderness he could muster for a giant of a man he placed you in it, propping you just so, helping to ease some of the throbbing. Once you were at ground level his partner lifted you onto a stretcher and eased you down to lie on your back before they were wheeling you to the ambulance. You insisted that wasn’t necessary, but they were adamant, and the first medic, Charles, eased you up a bit and made sure you got some water and a couple T3’s down to get a head start on pain relief before they got you to a hospital or medical center or wherever they were going to take you. 

“One second! I’m coming with!” Lizzie declared, but you knew she would want to grab her phone and wallet and possibly your phone too. The ambulance wasn’t apt to wait, and a very upset Lizzie allowed them to tell her which emergency room they were taking you to so that she could meet you there. 

“I’ll call Baz, let him know you’re okay but they’re taking extra precaution. If he catches wind of an ambulance being called to this lot and can’t get a hold of you he’ll be panicking. I’ll be there ASAP, okay?” she told you, squeezing your hand and doing her best to look reassuring. You nodded, and squeezed back before letting your head fall back to the flat little pillow on the stretcher as she climbed out and the ambulance left the set. 

The drive time was only about fifteen minutes, before they were easing you down and out and into the emergency room. After having to getting frustrated explaining that you didn’t have your insurance card or ID – as they were in your bag – Lizzie burst into the room, her gaze locked on you and she positively barrelled her way through to get to your side. 

“Here we go, I have her identification card, her insurance card, and her partner’s insurance information too,” she declared, putting down said pieces of identification on the counter with authority. The first medic, Charles, simply shook his head a little, a grin on his lips as he looked down at the ground, and the nurse shook off her surprise and began going through the necessary questions to be admitted to the emergency department to get the X-ray done. 

“Did you call him?” you croaked, and she nodded. 

“Sebastian’s on the way. He said he was going to need a minute to calm down enough to drive but he wanted to drive so that he could take you home and not worry about a taxi or anything when you’re let go,” she answered. 

Fifteen minutes later he all but ran into the emergency room, and you tugged on Lizzie’s sleeve to get his attention as his frantic eyes searched the waiting room for you. It was easy to feel his panic from even this distance; Sebastian looked like he’d nearly torn his hair out and paced and possibly even had a few tears come to his eyes before Lizzie had called him and before he’d managed to drive here, and it made your heart ache a little on top of the physical pain at the obvious distress he was in. With a wave from her he beelined over, and you could see the red rimming his eyes and the moisture there as he took you in. 

“Oh Draga I was scared fucking shitless when she said they took you away in an ambulance,” he burst, and soon was crouched beside the gurney, your hand cradled in both of his and his forehead pressed to your intertwined fingers as he shook. 

“Puiut it’s okay; the paramedic thinks its’ just bad bruising, this is all just to be extra safe,” you murmured, voice still sounding croaky like a bullfrog from the stress that had been put on your diaphragm. 

“Still… draga all I heard was you and accident and ambulance and I lost it,” he admitted, and braved a look up at you, blue eyes dripping as the tears escaped. They rolled slowly down his cheeks, and you had to do everything you could to not cry again at the sight in front of you. Sebastian was strong; he could handle so much, but yet he was so in tune with everything he felt, and knowing he’d been so scared over you that tears were falling was difficult.

“I’m okay, Baz, I’m here,” you told him, and lifted your hand to caress his cheek. He leaned into the touch, putting his hand over yours and kissing the heel of your palm, soothed at least a little by your own ability to tell him you’d be all right. 

It didn’t take long after that for a doctor to come in and assess you, sending you for a few X-rays and then nurses were wheeling you down. You’d asked for Sebastian to accompany you, but one particularly grouchy nurse had insisted that he needed to stay with your room. After realizing you were getting upset and getting nowhere Sebastian had stepped in, telling you it would be all right and that he was just going to quickly text Annie and call your parents to let them know you were fine, just in case they’d heard anything, and he’d field any other incoming calls, which you knew there had to be a few. An ambulance leaving a film set usually garnered some attention and speculation. 

“Okay,” your voice was tiny, and Sebastian kissed your forehead softly, ignoring the slightly irritated –likely overtired and overworked – nurse who was obviously not impressed with him taking up a few extra seconds of her wheeling you down to medical imaging. 

“Love you draga, I’ll be right here as soon as they’re done,” he promised, and you nodded slightly before being wheeled down the hallway and out of the emergency department.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things have gotten a wee bit better as far as school goes - two final papers to go then it's the waiting game for final marks before I move! But in the personal sphere life has been shit, so I'm working on it. I really hope you guys like the chapter and I appreciate everybody being good with me needing to take some time and be shitty in not posting for a while. 
> 
> I'm also having a small crisis lol - I just found out Seb is doing Platinum VIP's in Chicago and I'll be a fairly cheap flight away... and I am so tempted to see if I can afford to go and be able to meet him in that kind of setting... but I've already been lucky enough to see him once and I was going to use that money to for a NYC trip if I can still do it... so some advice would be greatly appreciated! (If Chris signs on for Chicago then I will go hands down and try to see them both lol)
> 
> So thanks again and I'll be updating Bucky Barnes soon too :)


	45. Chapter 45

“Claire please, just sit down and relax; the doctor said…” 

“I know but I feel fucking useless,” you groaned, letting Sebastian ease you back down to the couch again. As soon as they’d released you from the hospital he’d ushered you back to your apartment, carried you up the stairs and all but made a nest for you on the couch. He’d also helped you strip out of your costume – which you’d still been wearing at the hospital – and into one of his t-shirts and a pair of pyjama shorts so you would be as comfortable as possible. 

After determining that it was in fact just some severe bruising and no cracks or breaks to your ribs, the doctor had advised you that it would be several weeks until you were back to one hundred percent, and gave you a prescription for some pain killers. Jesse, the director, had called and apologized countless times, before you’d asked what he wanted to do about the shot. He’d insisted that the first take you’d done was still wonderful and they could use that; they would rearrange the shooting schedule as much as they could to give you a couple full weeks to recuperate. It would mean, however, that your time off with Sebastian would be extremely hindered by the fact your ribs would be very painful and healing rather than being able to have a mini LA vacation to yourselves.

“I don’t care about that draga, I’m just glad you’re okay,” he repeated, kissing your forehead as he sat on the edge of the couch. He was still too worried about causing you pain to even curl up beside you, so instead he settled for sitting on the edge of the cushion and rubbing your shoulders or caressing your cheek, needing contact to reassure himself you were okay but afraid of hurting you. 

“Would you actually listen to me if the roles were reversed?” you asked, and he snorted before looking sheepish. 

“Yes…?” 

“Bullshit. You’re full of it, Stan,” you teased, and chuckled before the pain gripped your ribcage and you froze. Sebastian was immediately on edge again, and you gripped his hand as you breathed through it before relaxing back into the couch. 

“It’s okay, puiut it’s okay,” you murmured, and pulled him down for a soft kiss. His lips were hesitant but desperate, and you knew he wanted nothing more than to wrap himself around you so he could protect you but stopped because he knew it would only hurt. 

“Lay with me? Please Baz?” you whimpered, and soon that full bottom lip of his was sucked into his mouth as he chewed on it. 

“Draga, I’m just worried—”

“I know, Baz, but I just… I need you. Please?” you whispered, and as carefully as he physically could he slid onto the couch behind you, pressing himself back into the cushions in an attempt to give you as much space as was physically possible. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared in all my life,” he admitted, thumb stroking your arm as he stared out the window. 

“What?” 

“Yeah… I’d texted you just to check about dinner – because sometimes you forget things – and got no answer. It didn’t bother me until I was on my phone and a news article popped up about an ambulance being dispatched to the film lot. My heart dropped and I tried calling and calling and couldn’t get through to you or Lizzie. Then Lizzie phoned and I…” he swallowed hard, closing his eyes and kissing your temple. “I was so scared that you’d fallen or something… I know they get you up pretty high with those cables because you’re so damn good with all the stunts… All I could think was that something awful had happened to you and I’d lose you.” 

“You haven’t lost me, Baz. It’s gonna take a hell of a lot worse than some bruised ribs to get rid of me,” you teased, and he managed a tense smile. 

“Good, because it’ll take hell or high water to get me to budge either,” 

You managed to doze, the prescription painkillers starting to kick in properly, your boyfriend warm and comforting against your back, and it wasn’t until you could hear quiet voices that you realized you’d actually fallen asleep and lost some time. A few times you’d startled out of your nap, only for Sebastian to kiss you sweetly and murmur in a mix of Romanian and English until you dozed back off again, his voice thick and sweet like honey, the quiet words wrapping around you like a blanket. 

“Hey, how’d you sleep sweetheart?” he asked, voice still soft as he turned to look at you. A yawn erupted, and the delayed inhale made your ribs hurt enough to wince a bit. The aching was turning into a throbbing, more visceral pain that made you grimace. 

“Okay. Is it time for another pill though?” you asked, and after checking his phone Sebastian nodded. 

“Yeah, I probably should’ve woke you up like a half an hour ago for it but I just wanted you to get some rest,” he explained, and carefully extricated himself from you to go to the kitchen and get a glass of water and another one dose of your pain medication. 

“Who’re you talking to? I could’ve swore I heard somebody,” you asked, trying to push yourself up a little bit. Sebastian hurried over, fluffing the pillows behind you and helping you sit up enough to drink water without choking. 

“Lizzie called. She’s going to bring over some dinner for all of us,” he replied, and you awed a little at how sweet she was. “Seeing as we can’t all really _go_ for dinner right now. And it takes some pressure off us for the night.” 

“She’s the best,” you said, sliding your fingers into the spaces between his as he nodded. 

“She is, I’m so happy you have a great friend like her,” he agreed, and lifted your hand to kiss the back of it; letting his lips linger there for a moment or two. The two of you were quiet, sitting there and simply basking in the fact that all was as well as it could be – things could’ve gone much, much worse and you both knew it. 

Sebastian’s phone buzzed, and he hardly glanced at the screen before standing up, kissing your forehead and letting you know he was going to go let Lizzie in and help her carry up dinner. You nodded, content to lie there and wait for them, because you knew you were going to be hugging Lizzie and that would take enough effort on its’ own. And Sebastian would have back up in chastising you for trying to get up and get around on your own, so you didn’t want to face the two of them.

“Hey Claire, how are you?” Lizzie’s voice was soft, restrained, as Sebastian opened the door and the two of them came in. She immediately made for you on the couch, and you held out your arms to hug her. It was gentle, she was extremely careful to not put any pressure on you, and you held her as tightly as you could manage. 

“I’m okay, just sore as shit,” you replied, and gave her one more squeeze before letting go. “Good thing I have a hot nurse to look after me, eh?” 

Sebastian’s face turned fire engine red and he nearly dropped the takeout containers he was setting on the coffee table at your words, and Lizzie managed a giggle at his response. 

“Well, I gotta say, you did all right in that department,” she agreed, and soon he was sputtering and fidgeting before quickly excusing himself to the kitchen to grab some drinks. As soon as he was out of sight, the two of you cracked up a little bit, and Lizzie sat herself down on the floor beside you, arm resting on the side of the couch so that the two of you could visit, even though you offered to make room on the couch for her. 

“This is good! Don’t you worry,” she told you. “So, I got Italian for dinner – I know it’s not as good as yours, because _somehow_ you make the best carb-heavy food on the planet – but I figured we could all use some comfort food. And they had gelato.” 

“You are my favourite,” you sighed, and grinned at her happy laugh. 

“Oh hey, so I get demoted to ‘hot nurse’ and now she’s your favourite?” Sebastian complained, bringing three glasses of something and setting them down next to the containers of food. 

“You’re my boyfriend babe, that’s a whole other thing,” you explained, and Lizzie nodded. 

“I’m her favourite friend, you’re top of the food chain because you’re her boyfriend. So don’t complain, or I’ll find you some scrubs to wear,” she added, and Sebastian was grumbling to himself under his breath at that while you chuckled.

“Love you babe,” 

“Love you too, iubit,” he replied, smiling softly before reaching over to kiss you. Then it was the terrible task of trying to decide on what movie to watch, Sebastian and Lizzie arguing while you were content to just lay there and listen. You really didn’t care what movie was put on, because odds were you’d fall asleep during it anyway.   
“Babe she’s picking on me! Did you hear that?” he piped up, and you lifted your head a little to look at him. 

“No I didn’t,” 

He pouted then, crossing his arms before shooting Lizzie a playful but deadly look. She rolled her eyes and shoved at his shoulder before picking the remote off of the coffee table and selecting a show herself. 

“Come on, Claire will like this better anyway,” 

“I don’t care what we watch because I’ll probably fall asleep,” you told them, and Sebastian was about to jump on that statement before Lizzie turned to him, stone cold serious and he immediately rethought whatever he was going to say. 

“Just. Leave. It. Be. Stan,” she warned him, and so instead he busied himself opening takeout containers and helping you get sat up and organized so the three of you could eat dinner. Being upright was definitely a little more painful, but it felt good to not just be lying there. A quick tug on Sebastian’s arm had him sitting beside you, your legs over his lap while he settled in to his food too. He had planned to sit on the floor, but you felt bad enough that he’d been sitting there most of the afternoon before you’d conned him into snuggling with you on the couch. Lizzie maintained her floor position, using the coffee table as her own table and turned so she could easily see the TV and the two of you while she visited and watched. 

Although you’d been warned, the lack of appetite you had thanks to the pain medication seemed to visibly worry Sebastian, and while you heard Lizzie trying to quietly remind him you did the best you could to choke down a little more of the incredible lasagne that Lizzie had brought for you to try and help ease his nerves. The awful churning that your stomach was doing told you it maybe wasn’t the best idea, but he’d had a rough enough day without spending the remainder of it worrying if you’d gotten enough to eat. Once you’d eaten to the point of almost being concerned it might come back up, he at least looked considerably more at ease, and kissed your forehead softly before murmuring that you’d done great and moving your plate to the coffee table for you. 

“I’ll head out, and let you two relax. Text me tomorrow and let me know how things are going or if you need anything, okay?” Lizzie spoke up once dinner was cleaned up and put away, and you pulled her into another hug as you nodded. 

“Thanks so much; I really appreciate it,” you mumbled into her shoulder, and felt her squeeze you a little bit closer before letting go. The smile she gave you was as honest as any you’d ever seen, and it kind of struck you lying on the couch that you were so lucky to have people like Sebastian and Lizzie around, who always meant everything they did and said. 

“Of course. Now, nurse, I fully expect you to make sure she takes it easy and gets a good, full night’s sleep,” she turned, and Sebastian groaned as his cheeks caught a pink flush yet again before she giggled and pulled him in for a hug. “That’s my best friend you’re taking care of, I expect nothing but the best.” 

“I’ll do my best, Liz, you know that,” he told her, and she nodded before patting his arm and shooting you a wink around his shoulder.

“I know, she’s a lucky girl to have you and she knows it,” 

With that she was out the door, and you couldn’t do much else but chuckle – painfully – and shake your head at her antics. 

“It could’ve been worse, puiut,” you told him as he gingerly settled down to the couch beside you again, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and kissing your temple again. He even pulled a blanket over and covered the two of you with it, knowing you were usually chilly at night, even in the LA weather.

“How’s that?” 

“Well that whole ‘motion of the ocean’ comment the other day? She was going to buy you a mini paddle to put on the wall as a gag gift,” you explained, and Sebastian turned fire engine red before he was laughing so hard he was almost choking. You tried to sit up and lean over to give him a light whack on the back but felt the searing pain in your ribs the instant you moved, and so settled for patting his knee in support as he caught his breath.

“That’s awful!” 

“I know!” you grinned, before leaning over and pecking his cheek. “But pretty damn funny all the same.” 

“You girls… she doesn’t actually… I mean, you guys don’t talk about…” 

“No, Baz, we don’t get into any details or anything; nobody knows what your junk looks like, so don’t worry. I wouldn’t tell anyways,” you reassured him with a kiss and he let out a small sigh. Relief flooded his features and the lines in his forehead softened and disappeared once he wasn’t worrying over who knew these kind of intimate details.

“Thank God, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I could face all your coworkers knowing they knew anything that detailed about my dick,” he admitted, and you nodded, understanding. 

“I know babe, that’s why I would never say anything like that. I left it general enough and let them make their own assumptions,” you agreed, and then raised an eyebrow. “So, that means none of the guys know anything ridiculous like my cup size, right?” 

When his cheeks turned a little red you gaped at him, unable to believe that he’d be so upset about an exchange of his information if any of yours had gotten out. 

“In my defence, it wasn’t anything like that,” he began, and then ran a hand through his hair. “When we were doing fittings and stuff for the premieres and I wanted to buy you that dress you wore out to dinner in London? Mackie went with me, and every dress he suggested I had to veto because you’re too busty for them. Which, I mean, I’m not, it’s a good thing, and when he finally pulled a consultant over to pick my brain because he got fed up with me… well she asked for some stuff like if I knew your general size and then when I had to explain about the whole cut thing… he heard all of it. And he said he’d guessed pretty close anyway – apparently being married means you learn a lot about bra sizes?” 

The laughter escaped, even though you were in pain doing so, at Sebastian’s flustered expression and the way he’d stuttered and ran through his story, wanting to make sure that you knew he hadn’t been running his mouth about any of it. His eyes were wide and a little worried, and you reached your hands out to him, which he quickly engulfed in his own and held gently, as you tried to get air into your lungs. 

“Oh puiut, only you…” 

“I’m sorry draga, you know I’d never just tell people stuff like that,” he continued, and you nodded. 

“As long as you haven’t been locker-room talking, it’s all good babe.” 

“No locker room talk, I promise. I’d never do that; I’ve only ever been extremely vague when Chace or Chris – New York Chris – bugged me about it. And believe me, Chace tried _really_ hard for a month or two when he found out we first got together to get some details,” he said, and you had to admit you were a little surprised. The fact you and Chace were such good friends now only added to the fact it seemed weird he’d ever asked those kinds of questions. 

“What?” 

“Well, yeah. You guys hadn’t properly hung out; he’d seen you once for a bit when we went out to that rooftop bar on the Upper West side when you’d came back with me from LA, remember? And that was it; all he could say was that I was definitely batting out of my league and just how big _were_ your boobs anyway? Because he thought there was no way they were real with how small your waist is. When he didn’t get any real information out of me, then actually got to know you, I never heard another peep about it. He still makes stupid jokes or teases about whether I do a good enough job or stupid shit, but he’s never asked something like that again,” Sebastian told you, and you nodded, surprised but able to understand, even if it was weird now. Chace hadn’t known you, and probably hadn’t known if the two of you would last or not, so had probably only seen you as Sebastian’s ‘new girl’ rather than a person. The fact that the two of you had only been at the bar for about an hour and a half before sneaking back to Sebastian’s apartment to watch Netflix in bed and jump each other probably hadn’t helped any of his preconceived notions of you. 

“It just seems so weird now that he’d asked,” you wrinkled your nose, and Sebastian laughed, kissing your nose as he smiled. 

“I know, I bug him about it now and it grosses him out as bad as if I was saying it about his sister,” he chuckled. “Like seriously, if I told him now he’d probably stick his fingers in his ears and start yelling to drown it out so he wouldn’t have to know.” 

It was very easy to picture Chace doing just that, and both of you chuckled before you pulled Sebastian in for a deeper kiss. The fact that he’d done nothing but dote on you since you’d got home from the hospital hadn’t gone unnoticed or unappreciated, and you hoped he realized it. His t-shirt was soft and worn under your finger tips – a dark grey one that he’d admitted to having since his Rutgers days, even though there were holes in the seams from rough use – his arms straining the material slightly. Sebastian was a lot bigger than he’d ever been prior to Marvel, going to the gym on a regular basis with Don and the guys, and his old clothes showed evidence of it. Many sweaters were stretched, a few T-shirts had met their end thanks to him trying to pull them on or off of his new musculature, and more than a few pairs of jeans had been donated or gotten rid of when he couldn’t pull them over his thighs. 

“Thank you so much for being here, Baz,” you murmured, thumb stroking his bicep as his entire expression softened, his eyes searching your face before he cupped your cheek softly. 

“No place I’d rather be than here with you, iubit,” he whispered back, and kissed you sweetly before getting up and then, ever so carefully, picking you up. 

“Baz I can walk,” 

“I’m under strict orders to make sure you take it easy,” he teased, and kissed you again as he carried you to your room, setting you on the bed as if you were made of porcelain and might shatter under his touch. He then carefully pulled off the t-shirt you were sporting and slid your shorts and underwear down your legs, before finding one of his tank tops and getting you into it with as little movement from you as possible. A small smile worked its’ way onto your lips. You’d admitted to him that you liked sleeping in his shirts, especially when he was away, because it felt like you had a little more of him there with you; his smell on the fabric, knowing that something of his was there when you were most lonely without him. It was a bit of a security blanket, one you’d never needed to lean on with any other boyfriend you’d been with, and Sebastian had taken to the idea like a fish to water. Since then he was constantly ‘forgetting’ shirts or sweaters so that you could have something of his to wear whenever you wanted without having to ask, and whenever he saw you in his clothes he couldn’t hide his smirk. 

Obviously, he thought that being laid up meant having a little more security blanket too, and you weren’t about to object, as he stripped down to his boxer briefs and helped get you situated amongst the pillows before he got in and curled up beside you. 

“I love you, Claire,” he whispered, kissing your temple, nose, and cheek before letting his lips brush against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut as he surrounded you; his smell, his taste, his touch, as you kissed him back. He settled his hands onto your forearms, too nervous to hold you against his body, and his thumbs softly stroked your skin, the motion almost hypnotizing and making you feel drowsy and comfortable.

“I love you too, Baz,” 

“I’m just so fucking grateful you’re okay,” you heard his whisper, felt his grip tighten slightly on your arms before he forced himself to relax. He sounded shaken, as badly as when he’d been at the hospital, and you worried just how badly he was being affected without letting you know. 

“Are you okay, puiut?” 

“I will be,” he admitted, taking a shuddering breath. “I really… when I couldn’t get a hold of anyone? Goddamn Claire my heart stopped, thinking that… that it could’ve been serious or that you could’ve… could’ve…” 

Oh shit. If he’d thought something that serious had happened no wonder he’d been a mess and was still shaken. 

“Oh Baz,” you did your best to roll to your side to curl up as close as physically possible to him. “I’m so sorry you were scared and worried. But I’m okay, it wasn’t that bad, I’m safe and sound and I’m here with you.” 

“I know, I know draga but fuck… I swear to god I saw my life flash in front of my eyes, fucking terrified I’d lost you,” he admitted, and kissed you thoroughly. “The thought of never having anymore time with you? To think I might never see you again or tell you I love you or hear it back again? The worst sensation I’ve ever experienced. Of not getting to marry you, never having children with you and getting to watch you continue to kick ass and take names in this business and grow old together? It broke my heart and I couldn’t even think.” 

“Baz…” the tears were streaming down your cheeks now, and you buried your face against his neck. 

“I know, I know, overreaction much when I didn’t even know what happened or if it was for sure you?” he chuckled, and kissed the top of your head. “But it’s true. I panicked, so hard; I almost had to call my mom, draga, it was so bad. To lose you… I don’t think I could handle it.” 

“You don’t have to worry about it, okay? Feel this?” you pulled his hand and placed his palm on your chest over your heart, feeling his fingers stretch slightly before he pressed his palm into you. “I’m here, I’m okay, and I’m here with you. None of that’s been put at risk, okay?” 

“Thank you draga. I’m sorry to just be freaking out after I know you’re okay and all…” 

“Puiut you hardly even got to freak out before, and I can’t imagine how terrified you were. There’s nothing wrong with trying to work through it after the fact,” you kissed his cheek then, before meeting his lips. It was as if someone had flipped a switch, his muscles began to go lax as he let the tension leave his body, and you could tell he was exhausted after the strain of the day. 

“Get some sleep, love, I’ll be here when you wake up,” you murmured, carding your fingers through his hair and pushing it off of his face. Sebastian was struggling to keep his blue eyes open, eyelashes spending longer and longer resting against his cheeks when he blinked. 

“Okay draga. Te iubesc,” he sighed, and soon was softly snoring away. You smiled to yourself, let your hand caress his cheek for just a moment longer before you made yourself as comfortable as was physically possible to try and get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a little late on the whole update thing - sorry guys. Driving over two days and three provinces to get to where I'm living for the summer, trying to visit with family who were out, and then the schmozzle that is getting into my apartment (was supposed to be today, it's now tomorrow, and we had to last-minutes find somewhere to stay!) made it a little hard to update. I also learned that Ontario has a LOT of spaces that are completely devoid of cell service or internet connection... so that made things more difficult too. 
> 
> Anywho! I hope you like the new chapter! (I'm seeing Infinity War tomorrow night and I am trying to emotionally prepare myself for it!)


	46. Chapter 46

“Ugh this is such bullshit…” you complained, wincing as you weakly lifted up your arms so Sebastian could pull your shirt over your head. A full week later and the pain was just as intense as it was the first day. After doing some googling and asking around you’d learned that the whole ‘bruised ribs’ thing generally came from the damage done to muscles and that even though you were following the doctor’s orders to a T – thanks to an overprotective boyfriend more than anything – it could be another couple weeks before you started feeling human again. Sebastian had watched the same Youtube video like twelve times before he’d wrapped your ribs up for you, and he’d been as careful as was possible, tongue stuck out slightly between his lips in concentration as he did his best to help your body support the injured area. 

He was like clockwork for bringing out an icepack, pain medication, or helping you do the few very, very light stretches you’d been given to help keep some mobility, and watched you like a hawk whenever you did something for yourself to ensure you weren’t straining yourself. It was lovely and sweet of him, but you had never been one to sit around and feel useless, and being forced to do so by your own body _and_ him was getting a little frustrating, even though you knew it wasn’t anybody’s fault. The line had jammed, and the momentum you’d carried while doing the stunt had flung you at the end of the harness as hard as having been hit in the chest with a board. 

“I know, draga, I know,” he had that bedside manner tone in his voice again, like he was going to give you a repeat of the same lecture he’d been giving you all week. About how rest was the best option to recuperate and that being careful was better than pushing it. Which you knew was true, but it didn’t make it easier to hear. 

“I just… ugh…” you winced slightly as you let your arms drop, and did your best to shove down your shorts. Sebastian had ran a bath, which was lovely of him, and far easier for you than trying to shower because he could help you wash your hair and keep you from bending too much. The bath bomb was a sweet added touch, and you felt your frustration slipping away. As brutal as this was for you, he was having just as hard of a time; knowing that you were struggling and these things were literally all he was able to do to help. And he was doing a wonderful job of doing so, going out of his way when he didn’t have to. With a sigh you turned in his arms and pressed your lips to his, tension slipping away from both of you as you wrapped your arms very gently around each other. 

“I know, baby I know; I have no idea how you’re doing so well with this and I know you probably get mad at me for nagging you all day,” he mumbled against your mouth, the five day start of a beard scratching at your skin lightly. “But I just want you healthy and I’m doing the only things I know I can. I know it’s shitty and it sucks but I’m trying.” 

“I know you are, I know Baz and I’m so grateful for it. I just hate feeling like this,” you admitted, and let yourself drop back down off of your tiptoes to kiss his neck, sucking a little on the skin. Sebastian tensed up, before he let out a tiny groan and his fingertips dug into your ass a little. 

“Draga…” 

“I know, I know. I tried this last night and you gave me the gears, remember?” you teased, and saw that little spark back in his blue eyes. Sebastian had walked into the room naked, still damp from his shower, not even bothering with a towel, and you could’ve jumped him right then and there. And even though your kisses, words, and touches had obviously had him primed and ready to go physically, he’d gently refused the offers and insisted he was fine, that he was too worried you’d be in pain if the two of you tried to have sex or fool around. While you’d pouted like a kid who wasn’t allowed in the cookie jar he’d wrapped himself around you, far more comfortably than he’d allowed himself since your injury, and went to sleep, completely ignoring the fact that he’d been hard and turned on. That, ladies and gentleman, was true love and a true gentleman and you still felt awful that he hadn’t even let you take care of him. 

“I know, I just…” he sighed, and kissed you again, this time letting his tongue sweep along your mouth. “I want you better as quick as possible, that’s all. No risks mean that you’ll heal faster.” 

“You’re too good for this earth, puiut,” you mumbled, resting your chin against his chest before shivering slightly. Standing naked in the middle of the bathroom when a hot bath was _right there_ was too much. Sebastian noticed immediately, and chuckled as he rubbed his hands up your arms to try and get some friction heat to your skin.

“In you get, draga,” Sebastian helped you to ease down into the water, and smiled at the hum that came from your throat as you sunk down into the deep, jetted tub. He pulled your hair up, the quick bun on top of your head meaning you wouldn’t be trying to wash out the color from the bath bomb for twenty minutes, and then to your surprise he began peeling off his own clothes. 

“Baz?” 

“Oh come on, I had to turn down the love of my life offering to do literally _anything I wanted_ to me last night, went to sleep blue balled because I was trying to do the right thing, and you’re gonna give me a hard time about relaxing in the bath with you?” he teased, and you giggled, blushing a little before gently scooting forward. Sebastian stepped in and sat down behind you, letting you lean back against his warm chest, feeling his body pressed against yours. You could fall asleep like this, warm and comfortable and safely wrapped up in Sebastian’s embrace.

“We should do this more often,” you sighed a few minutes later. Sebastian’s hands were gently moving along your arms, pulling water up and over the areas of skin exposed from the bath. You turned your head to look up at him over your shoulder and met his kiss. 

“We should, we really should,” he agreed, and kissed you sweetly. “I like just getting to relax with you, and we definitely don’t do it enough. Maybe we could renovate the bathroom and put a spa tub in? Something that’s oversized like this one?” 

“Ugh Baz don’t tempt me… Fuck after the last how many months we’ve had? Baz I could spend the next _year_ doing nothing like this with you,” you told him, and when he was quiet you turned to see he was smiling. 

“I’d be very happy with that, iubit,” he allowed, and licked his lips absentmindedly while he stared off into space for a moment as he thought. Once his gaze turned back to you, you could practically see the gears moving as he mulled something over. “Maybe we… maybe we could slow down on work for a little while, after this show is done and the premiere for your movie and the Avengers? Take some time for ourselves? Pretend like we’re normal people and spend a few weeks doing nothing but going to the gym, watching movies, going for walks in Central park and exploring the boroughs and then spending our evenings doing fuck all with each other? Occasionally throw in seeing our friends who will murder us for not hanging out with them when we have time off? Spend a week or two out with your parents; go hang out at Mama’s upstate. I could finally take you to Rome, or… or maybe we could… go to Constanta and I could show you where I grew up.” 

“Baz… Baz I would love that,” you replied, and lifted your hand to cup the nape of his neck and simply hold him. Aside from going back once or twice when he was younger with his mother – mostly to see his grandparents – he’d only gone back for one birthday with his friends. Returning to where he’d grown up was hard, and harder now that he’d lost his grandparents and knew going back would mean accepting and physically seeing they were gone. It was something he mentioned now and then, but never made any real plans of doing, and to think he would want to take you to experience it with him was touching. 

“Yeah? Think we could swing it? For at least a couple months until we got bored and start driving each other crazy to find a new project?” he teased, and you nodded, kissing his cheek. 

“I think that would be great. I’ve always wanted to go to Greece, maybe we could do a month or something in Europe; spend some time in Constanta, spend a week or so in Greece, another in Rome? Make a real vacation out of it?” you suggested, and Sebastian eagerly nodded. 

“I think that would be amazing,” he replied, kissing you deeply. 

“Maybe we could go exploring a little bit too? There’s so many places I’ve never been,” you wondered out loud, and heard him chuckle from behind you. 

“Oh draga, my little adventurer,” he lovingly grinned, and kissed your shoulder. “Always looking for something new.” 

“Not always,” you argued, and looked up at him. 

“No, you’re right. But I love that you’re always looking for something,” he conceded, and you sat there for a minute or two, thinking on his words. 

“Baz, what do you mean by always looking for something?” 

He kissed your temple, and slid his hands into yours, blue eyes flickering over the way your fingers fit perfectly into the spaces between his, even though his hands dwarfed yours. “I… how do I put it into words… it’s not that you’re never satisfied, that’s not what I’m trying to say. What I mean, I guess, is you’re driven, and in so many ways you’re fearless. You’ll take on a role that’s intimidating because it’s this wonderful challenge and you always say how much you learn from doing these new things, about the world and people and yourself. I love that, I love that you’re adventurous and curious and on the look out for new things. It makes me want to explore more with you too.” 

“Baz,” you cooed, unable to believe he was this eloquent off of the top of his head sometimes. 

“It’s true. Like, in some ways you have this unbelievable childlike wonder looking at new things or places, and it just… hits me. So many of us lose that and sometimes I’m so jealous of you for it. For always seeing the good in things and being excited for them. But you kind of help me find that for myself again, and the fact that I know you’re always rip roaring for something new or keeping crazy busy because it’s your nature, but that you’ll always stop to look back for me and make sure I’m there with you? Draga I think that’s what true love is,” he continued, unknowingly pulling at your heart in ways you didn’t know was possible. “Because I’m finally starting to really believe, for myself, that no matter where you go or what you see or do or who you meet, how much you love the new and exciting, you’re always going to pause and wait for me to be there with you.” 

“Fuck Baz, I love you so much,” you told him, pulling him down to kiss him. You’d never thought of yourself as an adventurous person, really. Sometimes you liked to try new things, you hated sitting around being useless, but you weren’t like so many of your friends. They were people who would drop everything in life for a month or two to travel to a country where they could only speak a handful of words in the native language, to live and explore and just _be_ somewhere else. But to hear Sebastian talk about you, it was as if you were that ever-changing and growing free spirited person. Somebody you’d always hoped to be when you were younger but never had the chance to become.

“I love you too, draga,” he murmured against your lips. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sebik,” his mother’s nickname for him slipping out as you turned a little, letting your cheek rest against his chest. “I’m not… I don’t think I’m a lot of those things you just described. I was always so scared, when I was younger, of fucking up or not doing what I thought everybody expected of me. Because of that, I almost went to med school instead of doing anything with acting, did you know that? I was so scared my parents would be disappointed if I chose theater and failed. There are so many things I never did because I was so fucking scared of failing and disappointing people. But… but with you? Somehow I feel safe enough that failing isn’t the end of the world anymore. Because somehow I know you love me no matter what and that if I screw up you’ll be there to pick me up, help dust me off, give me a kiss and tell me next time we’ll get it and we’ll get it right. You have no idea what that means to me, Baz. Even when we deal with the shit we have the past eight months… I know I have you in a way I’ve never had anyone before.” 

The words hung heavy between the two of you in the bathroom, and you were almost too afraid to look up and see your boyfriend’s expression. The two of you were shit, sometimes, about having these kind of really deep conversations. When they happened, they were emotional and heart wrenching, and Sebastian never had any qualms about talking out his feelings or you doing so with him. But this was beyond those conversations, beyond talking about wanting futures and children and that sort of thing together. This was the gritty, deep, instinctual way the two of you knew you loved each other, _understood_ you loved each other and how you managed to choose each other every day and every time regardless of the insanity your lives had presented and thrown at you. 

“Baz…?” 

“Draga… I… I don’t even have words for how much that means to me,” he quietly admitted, voice echoing slightly off of the tile. He slid one hand from your grasp, to tilt up your chin so you would meet his gaze, and you saw nothing but love in his eyes. 

“You’re my whole world, Claire. I mean it; I know it’s fucking cheesy and whatever but it’s true. I love you, with everything I have and everything I am and will be. You know I can be an anxious piece of shit sometimes, and I’m so sorry you even had to _see_ me like that, but in a way I know it’s something we had to see in each other. Because there’s no way we could’ve reached this point and this place with each other if we hadn’t. And I could not imagine getting to marry you and then losing you because something happened and all of a sudden you had me thrown at you like that and it was too much. But to be able to understand that even though my brain can try and warp everything I know to make me scared that you’ll leave, or that I’ve done something that will make you leave or make me second guess myself… I know you love me, Claire, and I feel it on a level that all the anxiety and panic and fear can’t touch. 

“I know… I know when we had our blowout I said I was scared that somehow you not wanting to move forward with me meant you were holding on to Chris, and I knew I was wrong, it _felt_ wrong the moment I said it, and I think that’s… that’s when I figured it out. That I could listen to the anxiety or I could listen to that love that’s in my chest and my being and my brain and I’d know I had you. But to know… to know that after everything you’ve been through, even when I’ve given you so many fucking reasons to doubt me or dump my sorry ass when life has made things shitty for us… to know that I make you feel safe? That you can let yourself do what you need to, go where you have to, and that if you fall down you aren’t scared because you know I’ll be there? Jesus Christ draga that’s… monumental. And it hurts me to know you’ve lived so much of your life not having that, but being able to give that to you? Claire…” 

“I know, Baz,” you nodded, kissing his chin softly. It had been terrifying to admit, but you knew that both of you needed to hear these things from each other as much as you felt that indescribable, physical pull to say them. Even when it made your heart pound in your chest a million beats a minute because it was frightening. 

“I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, Claire, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you and making sure you know how much I love you,” he told you, and pressed his fact against the side of your head. 

“I love you too, Baz, so much it scares me sometimes,” 

“That’s why me talking about getting married and having kids is so weird for us?” he chuckled, and you groaned but nodded. 

“A little. It’s fucking scary, when all you’ve known is people eventually leaving or hurting you, to think that you want all of that with somebody and that you love them enough to want it even though… even though everything in you is screaming at you that you’ll just get hurt again. You make that fade away enough to not always care about it. But it panics me sometimes because it’s always been easier to tell myself that I don’t want those things than to admit I do and have it ripped away.” 

“Claire…” there were tears in his eyes as he cupped your cheeks, and he sniffed hard before trying to speak. “I will do everything, _everything_ to make sure you never feel that again. That the little voice in your head telling you that people will only disappoint you and hurt you will fade away from existence because I will always do the best I can. Sometimes I’m going to fuck up, probably instrumentally because let’s face it, draga it’s me, and history told us that you started dating a thirty three year old who’d only ever been in like two really serious relationships, so obviously I fuck up,” he managed a chuckle, and you felt your own tears starting to build up in the corners of your eyes. “But I will never leave you. Even if you sometimes want me to; I can promise you that.” 

“Te iubesc,” you whispered, and kissed him hard. 

Sebastian responded immediately, wrapping his arms around you – even though he was still being extremely careful – and lifting his right hand to cup your cheek as he took your mouth. It took moments for the kisses to become more passionate, more intense as he let his fingers trail to the corner of your jaw, along the line of your throat, then let his hand move to the dip in the centre of your collarbones, before it began to slide lower. You couldn’t help but moan, the image of him wet and naked last night still _very_ present in your brain, especially knowing he was naked and wet pressed against you at the moment, but when your back instinctively arched you winced and let out a hiss. It felt like somebody had smacked you in the ribs again and you knew Sebastian would stop his advance because of it. After everything that had come out, you wanted, and needed this physically with him knowing just how emotionally charged the two of you were.

“You okay? Draga?” 

“Yes, I’m fine, honest Baz. Please don’t stop,” you whimpered, and thankfully he did as you asked, long fingers sliding between your legs and teasing at you. You gripped at his thighs, strong, solid muscle beneath your hands as you tried to make yourself more available to him. When his free hand cupped your breast and rolled your nipple between his fingers the moan drug free from your belly and he kissed you hard. 

“Fuck draga you’re the most beautiful thing, sometimes I still can’t believe you’re mine,” he growled against your lips, stroking you and teasing to slip his fingers into you, which you desperately wanted. 

“Baz…”

“I’ll get there, let me have my fun with you,” he gently reprimanded your whine, and kissed your neck hard as he pushed his hips against your ass, letting you feel his arousal before he slid two fingers inside of you. The combination of movements made you groan, gently biting at his lip and pulling on it a little bit before letting go. He was panting just as heavily as you were, the two of you crowding into each other in the tub as he touched you. 

“I want you, Baz,” you begged, and heard a ragged groan come from beside your ear. 

“I know iubit, I want you too but we’ll end up hurting you. Just let me take care of you, I fucking love watching you come apart on my fingers,” he said, and as if he’d whispered magic words to you, that familiar feeling bloomed in your belly. He groaned, face buried against your neck and shoulder, his teeth softly working at the skin as he felt your body tighten around his fingers, knowing it wouldn’t be long before you’d give him exactly what he wanted. 

“Baz… Sebastian…” you cried out his name, mostly able to ignore the pain in your ribs as your back arched a little in pleasure and pushed you against his solid torso, two of his long fingers buried deep inside of you as you came around them. You’d left claw marks in his thighs, you realized with a grimace, but he shook his head and softly thrust with his fingers again, drawing out the sensations before you were all but limp with him wrapped around you. 

“Draga it’s so sexy watching you like that,” he gasped, slowly withdrawing his fingers and moving his hand to rest gently on your abdomen. His hard sex was still pressed up against your back, and you wanted nothing more than to have him or at least be able to take care of him and make up for the fact he’d blue-balled himself the night before too in your best interests. 

“Not as sexy as when I get to watch you,” you shot back, kissing him roughly. He moaned, erection twitching slightly against your skin before his hands were gently exploring again, and he was cupping your breasts and holding you against him. 

“We shouldn’t…” 

“Baz that’s not fair, you just—”

“Yes I know but it’s different when you can just lay there and let me have my way with you rather than you moving around and—”

“Please? Please baby I want to,” you whispered, and watched his resolution dissolve at hearing you say you wanted to take care of him. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing and then groaned. 

“Fuck, the things you do to me. I swear to god you could make me come without touching me if you tried hard enough,” he complained, before he was moving his foot around, tongue stuck out a little in concentration while you wondered what the hell he was doing. 

“Uh, Baz?” 

“I… just a second,” you couldn’t help but giggle at his expression before you heard that he’d pulled the drain on the tub, the water beginning to rush and swirl toward the far end. 

“Um…” 

“We’ll have to shower off the goddamn glitter from that thing anyway,” he informed you, and slowly untangled himself from you to stand up, before reaching around you to begin running water for the shower. “So, we’ll take a shower, and if you’re so hell bent on getting your hands on me we’ll figure out a way to do it without hurting you. Because I want you draga, I always want you.” 

“Good,” you smirked up at him, gingerly moving so you were resting on your knees rather than sitting on your butt. His erection was hanging heavily, still just as hard as he’d been some ten minutes ago already, and when you realized you could stretch up just a little bit without _any_ pain, you slid your hands up his thighs, soothing over the claw marks you’d left and smearing the remnants of purple and glittery bath bomb on his skin, then moved them along and up his legs before you squeezed his ass hard as you took him into your mouth. 

“Holyfuckingmotherofgoddraga…” the words spilled out of his lips as he nearly fell, so caught off guard before he got his hands out and steadied himself against the wall of the shower. In response, all you did was moan a little around him, which made his legs visibly tremble. 

“Claire… babe…” 

“Just relax; nothing’s hurting,” you mumbled around him, and heard him swallow hard as he straightened up, before he softly pushed a few stray tendrils of hair away from your face so he could see better. 

“Oh my _God_ ,” he moaned, letting his head fall back as he breathed heavily, body already tensing beneath your hands and mouth. You increased your efforts, hearing his breathing become heavier and heavier before he was a trembling mess. 

“Baby… oh fuck draga I’m…” 

“Mmhmm…” you hummed around him and with a long groan he finished. You took all he had to give you, which made him almost whimper a little when he realized it, swallowing him down once he was finished before gently pulling off of him. A few small licks to make sure he was clean, and then you leaned forward to rest your cheek against his thigh. 

“That okay, babe?” you asked, and heard him give a bemused chuckle. 

“Okay? Jesus draga that was amazing,” he told you, gently finger combing through your hair as the two of you stopped to catch your breath. 

“Good to know,” you smirked a little, and heard him chuckle before he carefully helped you up to your feet. Once you were standing he was fiddling with the taps again, and soon had hot water spraying over the two of you. 

Hands on his biceps, you pushed yourself onto your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and stopped short when he snorted and burst out laughing. 

“What?” 

“Draga…” 

“Oh my god, just tell me what’s wrong!” you exclaimed, and he leaned on you a little as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Well, remember how I said we needed to shower to get the color and glitter from that bath fizz thing off?” 

“Yes,” 

“Well, your lips are a little sparkly and purple, and so is your cheek from leaning on me,” he cackled, brushing his thumb across your bottom lip as your eyes widened. You’d never thought of it, really. 

“You’re joking.” 

“Draga if I could take a picture I would, it’s hilarious,” he shook his head, and kissed the tip of your nose. “I didn’t even think…” 

“Neither did I,” you admitted, before you were overtaken by a fit of giggles before looking down at the two of you. Sebastian was in fact, covered from mid-chest down in a very fine layer of soft purple and glitter, except for the smears of your hands on his thighs and his member. You were in a pretty similar state.

“Jesus…” you laughed, and he nodded. 

“Well, now we know, I guess,” he allowed, before he began gently washing your arms. 

“I guess so,” you agreed, kissing his cheek and leaning against him and letting him help to rinse you off, his heartbeat strong and solid beneath your cheek, his hands warm and secure across the skin of your back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God I'm getting terrible at doing this whole updating thing. So sorry you guys (I know I've said it like every time I've had a delay in updating but I really do feel awful about being so inconsistent) and to try and make it up to you a bit, this chapter is basically fluff and feels and smut... so I hope you like it! :)


	47. Chapter 47

“Hey, what’s all this?” you asked, wandering into the living room. Sebastian had woken up earlier, soothing you back to sleep with feather soft kisses and murmurs in both of his languages, letting you know he was going to the gym and that he would wake you up when he was back, that you should sleep some more because it would help your ribs. So you’d dozed, sprawled across the king sized bed as comfortably as you could, until you’d heard the door quietly open and close, and the shuffling around that meant Sebastian was home and hungry, looking for something to munch on. He’d taken a full gym bag with him, so he’d likely showered at the gym to avoid making any extra noise when he got back in case you were still sleeping.

The table and counter were covered in flower arrangements, and even before Sebastian could answer, the buzzer was going off, a delivery guy announcing his arrival and buzzing your apartment to be let in. You quickly scooted out of view into the bathroom – you were only in Sebastian’s t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts – and he let the man in and signed for whatever it was. When you heard the door close and wandered back out, you saw even _more_ flowers.

“Everybody wishing you well,” Sebastian smirked, closing the distance between the two of you and gently wrapping himself around you once you were back with him in the kitchen. He smelled incredible; a mix of his own smell and Old Spice body wash, his hair still damp from showering at the gym. You leaned against him, feeling the twinge in your ribs as you did so but ignoring it for the comfort of your boyfriend’s embrace. 

“This is insane,” you muttered against him, before you pulled away a little to inspect the tags and flowers and few cards sitting on your table. “When did all of these get here?” 

“A few of ‘em showed up as I was leaving; I caught the delivery man before he buzzed the apartment on the way in so you could sleep. The rest when I got back, because I asked the security guard if he didn’t mind them being dropped off downstairs while I was gone and he was cool with it, and now these,” he explained, gesturing around as you moved between the dozen or so bouquets and fawned over them. Lizzie, Chloe and Lil, Clark, Etta, Jesse, Annie, the stunt crew, your parents, even Chace had sent flowers hoping you were okay and that you got well soon. It made you blush a little, warm and fuzzy feelings enveloping you that somehow _so_ many people were so concerned about how you were doing. You came across a bouquet of roses then, and heard Sebastian chuckle at your confused expression. 

“Those are from me, draga,” he told you with a soft kiss to your temple. “I figured I should get you romantic ones, seeing as I’ve been demoted to ‘hot nurse’ and all that. Remind you why you really keep me around.” 

His teasing brought a smile to your lips as you lifted the beautiful bouquet of red roses to smell them. They were picturesque, perfect; a hint of baby’s breath surrounding them and highlighting the deep, sanguine color of the petals, the blooms just beginning to open and hit their stride. 

“Baz they’re absolutely stunning,” you whispered, carefully placing them back in the vase. He must’ve stopped for them on his way back from the gym. 

“I realized while I was picking them out that I’ve been a total asshat and I’ve never really bought you flowers before,” he admitted sounding sheepish. You saw his cheeks were pink as he ran fingers through his hair to help cover his embarrassment. “So sorry these are the first ones, but I promise they won’t be the last, iubit.” 

“Aw sweetheart, thank you,” you pushed yourself onto your tiptoes to kiss him, before snuggling under his chin. “They’re beautiful. I love them.” 

“Well, maybe I’ll have to make sure you always have a bouquet of them at home,” he mused, making you laugh and lightly smack at his chest. You knew how expensive roses were; let alone how expensive they probably were in Manhattan. That was excessive. 

“You don’t need to do that,” 

“Maybe I want to,” he countered, before he kissed the top of your head and lightly wrapped his arms around you, letting out a long, slow breath. “I love seeing you happy and making you happy, draga. If roses does it then I’ll do it every day.” 

“You’re the sweetest,” you replied, before letting out a sigh and wincing a little at the twinge in your ribs. They were getting better now, two weeks in, and while Sebastian hadn’t mentioned it, you had a sneaking suspicion he’d somehow managed to rearrange his life to stay out here with you until you were working again, because no talk of taking him to the airport or anything of the sort had happened. It was enough to make you a little suspicious.

“Oh, did I stick this one back in the wrong vase?” you asked a few minutes later as you were trying to arrange all of the flowers and find homes for them. Sebastian perked up, before looking down at the bouquet he was holding and moving for you, counting over the blooms, lips moving a little as he counted to himself. 

“No, they’re all here draga. Why?” 

“Uh, there’s a rose in this one? I thought maybe I stuck it back in the wrong arrangement,” you mumbled, before pulling the smaller flower arrangement closer and searching through for a note or tag to see who it was from. Once you found it though, you wished you hadn’t seen the rose, because it was only going to cause problems. Maybe it had been tossed in on accident; you doubted Chris had went and picked out a bouquet by hand himself. Perhaps a florist had misinterpreted and tucked it in there, because the rest of the arrangement was a pretty standardized mixed bouquet. 

“Oh? Who’s it from?” Sebastian asked, setting down his roses on the island and walking over. Your expression probably gave it all away, and you could see he was tense as he pulled the little note out of the arrangement and heard the rumble in his chest. A deep, animalistic sound that came from a place of pure frustration that he couldn’t repress. 

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” 

Your head snapped up, and you saw that Sebastian’s expression gave away that he wished he’d kept it to himself. Instead you felt yourself folding in a bit, arms wrapped around you before you slowly, almost hesitantly leaned in against him. His chest was hard, moving harshly with every breath, before he slowly wrapped his arms around you, letting them sit loosely on the small of your back.

“I didn’t know Baz; I thought it was from your bouquet. Maybe the florist just chucked it in making a mixed arrangement? I doubt he’d pick out flowers. I’m surprised he sent anything actually.” 

“Babe… roses don’t just get ‘thrown in’ when they’re making arrangements, they’re way too expensive,” he muttered, sounding utterly frustrated and pissed off. You let out a bit of a shaky breath and pressed in closer to him, thankful that he tightened his grip on you. “He had to have… he would’ve… _Jesus_ …” 

A soft hand on his chest was his reminder to breath, and you closed your eyes and tried not to wince as the force of his breaths hit your still bruised ribs. “Baz… I don’t know what to—”

“You don’t have to say anything, draga; it’s not your fault. You enjoy your flowers, I’m just going to make a quick phone call, okay?” his voice was still hard, tone steely, as he kissed the top of your head, letting his lips linger before pulling away and stalking onto the balcony. His phone was in a death grip in his hand and he slid the glass door shut behind him before angrily dialling and moving just out of view. All you could do was hang your head, eyes drawn back to the single rose tucked in amongst the gerbera daisies and pansies. The arrangement was bright and cheery, in pinks and yellows, the rose a center point meant to draw attention to itself, which it did very well. Of all the things for him to do, and _especially_ after you thought you’d set Chris straight picking him up from that party a couple weeks ago. 

Sebastian’s voice was gaining volume outside; loud enough to waver in, but not clear enough to hear what he was saying, and you ran a hand through your hair, wondering _who_ he’d called and hoping it hadn’t been Chris. Sebastian was at the end of his rope about it, even though he’d been doing so much better and working so hard for you. Not commenting when he saw Chris’s name pop up on your phone screen, giving you an encouraging smile or a kiss to the temple when you hesitated picking it up to reply. All the little signs present that he’d begun accepting that Chris was going to be in your life to a degree. To a _friend_ degree. Now this… this was going to throw it all back to square one. Possibly even _worse_ than square one, judging by Sebastian’s reaction. 

You very carefully sat down on the couch, sending Lizzie a quick SOS text before sending Chace a heads up that Sebastian was freaking out and might call or text him. When you got a surprised/scared face from Lizzie and an upset emoji and a text asking if you were okay from Chace you quickly responded, before perusing Instagram.

It was something that was a surprising pick me up; while there were a lot of posts out there going on about how unhappy some people were that you were dating Sebastian (how he could do so much better, how you were younger and less established and therefore must be a gold digger… etcetera) there was probably three or four times as many supportive posts; for you as an individual and for the two of you as a couple. It was a little heart warming to see adorable edits of pictures of the two of you, or even pictures taken from films you’d done independently and mashed together to make really nice pictures of the two of you, with sweet, heart-filled captions. Occasionally you’d leave a comment; a little smiley face or an emoji with heart eyes at an especially cute edit, and a few comments for fans who posted incredible things about your work or being fans or needing support. Sometimes when you felt shitty being able to see that kind of positivity was an incredible lift. 

But then you stumbled on it. A picture of you and Chris from Atlanta, sitting curled up together in a booth out at a dance club, laughing at something on his phone. Surprisingly the picture even looked pretty HD, and the caption went on and on about how much better Chris was for you. How Sebastian only ever snapped at paps when the two of you were out, how his smile was forced sometimes on red carpets for Marvel things when the two of you were together, and how you seemed stiff and uncomfortable when that happened. How easier and more relaxed you and Chris had seemed together. And that sent everything else crashing down. 

You loved Sebastian. More than you’d possibly ever loved anybody like this in your entire life, and it seemed like there was no end to the attempts to sabotage that. It was unbelievably frustrating and upsetting that people who didn’t know the two of you personally, intimately, or understand how the two of you worked together could be so cemented in beliefs that he was bad for you. Your mother wouldn’t be bugging you constantly about getting engaged to him and having his babies if there was any reason to believe he wasn’t good for you. While sometimes over protective, they had really, _really_ good intuition about things like that. Same with Annie, and even Lizzie would’ve said something if she was somehow worried about you being with him. It wasn’t even something you questioned, really; you _knew_ Sebastian was incredible and perfect and while sometimes he had trouble getting a lid on everything it all came from the right place. But somehow those words and little niggling fears still tried to sneak into your brain and overtake everything you knew. 

“Draga? Claire? Iubit are you okay?” you jumped, nearly doubling over in pain at Sebastian’s voice right in front of you. You’d been so zoned out you hadn’t even heard him end his phone call and come back into the apartment. He still held the remnants of anger in his features; his brow was still furrowed, his posture still tight, but he now looked more concerned than anything. 

“Shit… yeah, I’m good,” you told him, and he carefully sat down beside you before wrapping his arms loosely around your torso and kissing your temple. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking, who…?” 

“I called Mackie. I know they still talk and are friends and I don’t have a problem with that, but I told him to give Chris a piece of his mind for me. That sending somebody’s girlfriend roses isn’t and never will be okay and that if he doesn’t back the fuck off he’s going to have me to deal with,” Sebastian’s words were devoid of real emotion, even though you could tell he was radiating anger and frustration. It was a little worrisome; this wasn’t the man you knew. 

“Baz…” 

“I… look, Claire, I know what you’re going to say, and I’m sorry that I’m not really sorry about this. He overstepped, hard core. If he’d sent you flowers, sure, it might’ve irked me a little but I get it. Get-well flowers are a thing, it’s whatever. But to send a rose in it too? Claire I know _you_ maybe don’t see what he’s doing but I do. And I swear I’m not being paranoid about it. He’s purposefully doing it and I won’t stand for it,” he cut you off, and you sat there staring at him, a little taken aback. After having been the vision of caring, doting, and all but _oblivious_ to anything outside of the two of you it was like he’d zeroed in, become so completely focused that nothing else could take precedence. “And if he pulls another stunt like this he’s in for it.” 

“Baz you can’t start a fight with him,” 

“I’m not. He started it. The second he fucking showed up beside your car and forced the issue when you’d made it clear you weren’t ready to deal with him face to face yet. When he started calling you in the middle of the night whether he really needed you or not but wanted it to be you to help him. When he started _choosing_ to go to you over anybody else, like his _brother_ , and then started making comments about me to other people. Did you know that before he cut everybody out he was telling Mackie and Renner and RDJ that he was _worried_ bout you? That I was such a mess after Rita and I broke up that I must’ve been doing everything I could to hide you away, and wasn’t it odd we never really went out to bars or anything? That what if I was being a controlling ass and not _letting_ you do anything? As if I was making all these decisions for you and forced you to sit in your apartment or mine and do nothing and got angry for you wanting to do otherwise? The fucking _nerve_ of him to—”

In a swift, if not slightly pained, motion you pushed forward and pressed your lips to Sebastian’s, as much to quiet him as comfort him. He was letting all of the thoughts and fears mesh with what he knew and spiral, and it wasn’t good for either of you. Not when this seemed all too real to have to deal with. While his voice had been restrained; he wasn’t yelling or didn’t even sound overly angry, but the fact that the frustration was bubbling there beneath the surface and that his attempts to squash it down left his voice sounding empty gave him away even worse, more and more emotion sneaking through as he went. 

“Baz, just… I know you’re upset. I get it; I’m not going to say anymore about it right now. I just… I can’t deal with all that this morning,” you whispered, ducking your head beneath his chin to hide the moisture in your eyes. “I just… I just need my boyfriend, okay? And we can talk more about it and figure it out when we’ve had some time to process and calm down.” 

It took him several moments before you felt him begin to forcibly relax and move his arms to more properly hold you. When you felt him press a gentle kiss to the crown of your head and let out a long breath you knew you had at least a _semblance_ of your boyfriend back. 

“Sorry Claire, I’ll… I’ll do my best, I promise,” he mumbled, and you nodded, knowing that was all you could physically ask of him, and knowing it was a lot. 

“Can we make some breakfast? Watch some TV, go for a walk or something? Just… just get out of the apartment for a bit?” you asked, and he nodded, left hand stroking your arm absentmindedly as he rested his chin on top of your head. 

“Of course, draga. We’ve been a little cooped up in here with you being hurt; no doubt you’re going a little stir crazy. So, what do you want for breakfast?” he asked, and you thought on it for a moment, wondering what you even had groceries to make. 

“Something simple?” 

“I can make pancakes?” Sebastian offered, and you nearly groaned at the prospect. While his cooking repertoire wasn’t huge, the things that he readily offered to make for other people were to die for. His pancakes were definitely on that list. 

“I would love that; your pancakes are _the_ best,” you told him, pulling away to get a look at him. The hard edges were gone from his features, a small smile pulling at his lips from your compliment. 

“That’s pretty high praise; don’t let Mama hear you say that,” he warned you, before kissing you softly. “Everybody always says _hers_ are the best, wouldn’t want to upset her.” 

“Your secret’s safe with me,” you teased back, kissing him again before he untangled himself from your grip and got up to go fish around in the kitchen for ingredients to make breakfast. His phone dinged, and as you picked it up off the coffee table you slowly got up from the couch. However, when you called out to him to let him know he had a message, walking over to the kitchen, the name on the display perplexed you. 

_Rita_

He hadn’t said a single word about talking to her since the whole ‘baby that might be his’ thing, so it seemed strange, out of place even. But, you knew if there was something to worry about, you’d know. Maybe they’d decided to chat occasionally, now that the two of you were together and she was apparently doing well as a mother; being in totally different places in life was maybe what they needed to try being friends, if not just friendly acquaintances. 

But a nagging feeling in your stomach, be it the anxiety or something else, made your smile falter as you handed his phone to him and kissed his cheek. He didn’t even spare the screen a glance, setting it down on the counter as he started mixing things together, kissing you sweetly instead while you stood leaning against him as he began making pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't take a month to post! :D (It's the small things in life, lol) Hope you enjoy the chapter!


	48. Chapter 48

“Jesus I forgot how ridiculous these people are here,” 

Sebastian's groan as he ushered you ahead of him was almost enough to put a smile on your face even though you were currently a little anxious. After managing to lounge on the beach for a couple hours with no issue, the two of you had gone out for lunch and then had been swarmed by paparazzi. Knowing that Sebastian couldn't wrap himself around you had him on edge, concerned with how tightly you were being crowded and not wanting you to get hurt, and you squeezed his hand tight. You'd managed to duck away from them for a few minutes, but knew if you wanted to get back to the car you'd have to wade through the crowd of them again. 

“I know, me too,” you sighed, before pecking his cheek. “Quick like a band aid?” 

He managed a laugh, thankfully, before nodding and kissing you quickly. “Better to get it over with.”

The shouting of 'look here! Sebastian! Claire! Can I get an autograph? Any comment on the ambulance leaving the film lot a couple weeks ago? Sebastian are you filming a new project?' surrounded you as you put your heads down and tried to make your way around or through the group of people to the car.

The usual questions were fine, and after mumbling out that yes you'd been injured on set and were still healing but that the two of you were okay seemed to placate several of the people who were still crowding you while Sebastian carefully led you to the car. It was when a shrill voice carried clearly over the cacophony of the group that he stopped dead in his tracks and your blood ran cold. 

“Is there any truth to the rumours of you and Chris rekindling your relationship? We saw pictures of you going to a house party and him leaving with you online. Any comment?” 

Sebastian stopped on a dime, and you could see his shoulders start to heave, that he was probably seething at the accusation even if he knew the truth beyond a shadow of a doubt. The morning's events would only serve to add fuel to the fire of what was going on for him. 

“Baz…” 

“Excuse me?” he growled, rounding back around, and gently managing to put you behind him even though his entire being and posture was screaming _danger_ to those around him. A few reporters managed to take a step back, and you tugged on his arm, knowing he was about to lose his cool and he'd be unbelievably upset if it all happened on camera. He was always upset and embarrassed for days afterward when he snapped at a paparazzi and gave them an honest piece of his mind.

“We saw pictures of Claire showing up at a house party and then leaving with Chris; any comment?” the man repeated himself, and as if you could see it, you felt the moment Sebastian snapped. 

“Any comment? Any comment? Sure, I've got a comment for you; leave us the fuck alone,” he snarled, advancing a couple of steps in a menacing way. Your grip on his wrist only paused him from getting right in the man's face. “You follow us around, take pictures when we don't know it and then twist whatever you've seen to cause a fucking shit storm for us. We're people. We go through things. And right now Claire's trying to heal from an accident and we're trying to get our shit together because we've been through a lot the past few months. Claire didn't _show up_ at a house party and leave with Chris; she went and picked him up to take him home so he wouldn't have to drive. I don't know why the _truth_ never seems to occur to you people to be one of your big stories.” 

The man was visibly shaking and nodded, swallowing hard and taking a few steps back. You tugged on Sebastian gently again, glad when he did retreat a step or two to be closer to you, his eyes cold as steel as he regarded the small group of paparazzi that was still gathered around. 

“So if you guys could all screw off and leave us be that would be great,” he managed to snap before turning back and putting a hand softly on the small of your back to guide you the fifteen or so feet left to the car. You were trembling, adrenaline seeping out of your system and undoubtedly going to cause some exhaustion at your worry that Sebastian would lose it at these people. He had just opened the car door when you realized it wasn't over. 

“So is it the _truth_ that you're worried Chris and Claire _will_ get back together that's got you snapping? I've heard he's making a real effort to be back in her life; y'know, if she had one anymore since the two of you are never actually seen anywhere together. Or are you back with Rita and _that's_ why the two of you are never together? We still haven't heard who the father of her kid is... but it's pretty obvious.” 

That was it. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, and while you let out a little cry and tried to grab at Sebastian knew that it was useless. He'd rounded on the man in question; a guy in his late thirties, maybe early forties, with a smug expression on his face, and he'd swung before anybody had realized what happened. With a loud crack Sebastian's fist connected with the guy's face, and you gasped, hands flying up to your face as your brain tried to process what had just happened. 

The man staggered back, blood pouring from his nose as Sebastian stood there shaking, teeth gritted, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed, looking like he was seriously considering going in for a second blow. There were gasps and muttering around the group and you knew, _knew_ without a shadow of a doubt that this was going to become a huge thing. All of it had been caught on camera, there were something like twenty witnesses, and Sebastian would be lucky if the media blowout was the least of his worries and this guy didn't charge him for hitting him. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you man?” the guy sputtered out the words, coughing while trying to stem the blood pouring down his face. 

“What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you? Fucking stalk us, throw questions at us and won't leave us the hell alone, _then_ try to accuse my girlfriend of messing around with an ex and that I'm some kind of over-bearing controlling asshole keeping her locked away somewhere? And something is fucking wrong with _me_?” he seethed, and clenched his fists at his side again as another fit of anger hit him. 

“Sebastian,” you finally found your voice, and he whipped back around to look at you. When he saw your expression however you visibly watched him deflate a little, and then you nearly screamed. 

The man took a cheap shot at the back of Sebastian's head, and Sebastian grunted when his fist made contact, and then staggered forward a step or two, nearly losing his balance but staying upright. 

“Please, Baz just get in the car,” you begged, as he used the door to get back on his feet properly again. The words landed on deaf ears as he turned back and swung a few more times, a couple deft blows hitting their targets before a couple bystanders managed to intervene and pull them apart.   
Sebastian was sporting a cut above his eye that was trickling a fair amount of blood and a split in his lip, but it was obvious who'd come out the worse of the exchange, and it wasn't him. 

“Dude, just get in your car and go home and cool off,” one of the guys who'd came to break up the fight said, and after you quietly echoed the sentiment he did so, stalking around the car and slamming the door shut once he was in, before taking off without a second glance toward the scene that had happened. You simply sat there quietly, staring unseeing out the window as he navigated the streets back to the apartment. Once there you slowly got out of the car, waving off Sebastian's attempts to help you, still too shell shocked to really say anything. It was becoming more apparent that your behaviour was affecting him; the way he was hovering, chewing on his split lip and aggravating it more as you made your way up to your floor and into the apartment. 

“Go grab a cloth and we'll clean you up. Then you need to phone your publicist and hope like hell you don't have to get your lawyer involved,” you told him, voice sounding empty and a little mechanical even to yourself as you settled yourself against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in front of your chest. Sebastian dropped his gaze to the floor, shoulders slumping as he nodded. 

Without a word he trudged down the hall to the bathroom to do as you'd told him, and you bit your lip to try and keep the tears at bay. What had happened was _nothing_ like Sebastian; he'd gotten a little snippy at paparazzi before but never, ever gotten physical. He wasn't the kind to get into a fistfight, let alone start one, yet there'd been no second thought or hesitation when he'd turned and swung. Obviously the man's words had been cutting and had been meant to cause pain, but Sebastian hadn't even tried to calm himself or be logical about it and _that_ was what worried you. While you thought he'd been doing so much better, coping so much better, a large part of you now believed that instead he'd simply been doing a much better job at hiding it from you. 

“I'm so fucking sorry… I don't… I don't know what got into me,” he apologized; his voice a raspy whisper as he came to stand in front of you, damp cloth in hand. He kept his head down, eyes trained on the floor, and you let your gaze sweep over him, trying to look for the little cracks in the man you knew and loved to try and figure out what the hell was going on with him. 

“I don't know what got into you either, but Sebastian… Sebastian that's not _you_ … and I don't know how… how I feel about that,” you admitted, and saw him purse his lips to hide the quiver in his full bottom lip. He still hadn't braved looking up at you, and while you sighed, and grimaced at the twinge in your ribs, you gently reached out to tip his chin up enough to see and tend to his cut. A few rogue tears streaked down his cheeks, and you let your hand cup his stubble-covered skin as you gently began to clean up the cut in his forehead. 

“I'm so, so sorry,” was all he could choke out, and you nodded, getting the worst of the blood away from the cut to see that it wasn't going to need any stitches. With that you turned, rinsing out the cloth before taking a deep breath and then facing him again. He looked broken, you realized, and that pulled at your heartstrings even through the weird, almost detached fogginess you were currently experiencing. Like you were watching everything going on through a thick pain of glass; removed from the situation. 

“You need to call Donna and tell them what happened, get your team on it before it blows up into something worse,” was your answer, voice still empty and he simply nodded and turned away, digging his phone out of his pocket before going out onto the balcony to hopefully do as you'd asked. 

Suddenly it was as if somebody had pulled the plug; like all of the energy you had and the ability to stay strong just seeped out of you and left you feeling exhausted and drained, your mind foggy. With a few stumbles you got to your room, and carefully laid down on top of the covers to try and just _breathe_ even though tears were threatening to choke you and fear and anxiety threatening to smother you where you lay. 

Some part of your brain, one that was ruled by anxiety and uncertainty, worried that maybe Sebastian had never showed you his true colors until today. That somehow the unbelievably sweet, caring, thoughtful man you loved wholeheartedly could be hiding a much darker, rougher side, and the thought terrified you. Sebastian had been pure rage, fuelled by nothing else and oblivious to all else when he'd lunged at the paparazzi, and logic had escaped him completely. But to know he was capable of such a violent break was unsettling, especially when you knew, _knew_ that it wasn't him, somehow, even though you'd witnessed it with your own two eyes. 

That man wasn't Sebastian, somehow, and you knew that something was wrong. That even though you'd watched him snap that it wasn't who he was, truthfully, even though your fear was trying to convince you and plant a seed of doubt otherwise. 

The next thought you had, staring at the bare wall, was whether or not it was worth it. Was having Chris back as a friend worth Sebastian losing himself to all of this fear and anger and frustration? For you to lose the man you loved at the same time over someone who'd hurt you so badly? Or worth it for you to sit and wait for the next time Sebastian would snap and somehow lose himself so completely that he became violent? It was too much for you to handle, and so instead you finally shut your eyes, willing the world to just disappear for a little while. 

It was nearly a half an hour later that you begrudgingly pulled yourself off of the bed, stretching lightly because your muscles were tense, that you decided you needed to try and talk to your boyfriend about what had happened. The fact he hadn't even poked his head into the bedroom to check on you spoke volumes to how upset he must've been, how worried he was that that you didn't want to see him or speak to him. After making your way down the hallway, you were shocked to see the living room and kitchen were empty. Not a thing had been disturbed; not even a throw pillow was out of place from where they'd sat when the two of you had left the apartment earlier that day.

The door hadn't made a sound, and you were positive Sebastian wouldn't have left, not with having been so upset and probably worried about being approached again. But your stomach clenched in worry over him and his wellbeing, and you were about to call out when you heard it. 

The patio door to the balcony was open just a crack, and the unmistakable sound of a sob reached your ears from the other side. He'd hidden himself away and was breaking down, where you wouldn't have to see it. That hurt in a way you hadn't had to experience with Sebastian. It also made you hesitate to go to him, wondering if he even _wanted_ you to. 

Slowly you approached, and through the glass door saw him. Curled up with his knees to his chest, arms around his legs and head resting on his knees, hiding his face while he sat there crying; shoulders shaking, knuckles white from gripping himself. It broke your heart, and you slid the door open, making him jump a little before he pressed his face harder against his knees and arms, refusing to look up. 

“Baz?” you whispered, and slowly got down to the floor beside him, still not wrapping your arms around him just in case it wasn't what he wanted, even though you ached to comfort him. 

“Please don't… Claire I can't…” he cried, words muffled as he refused to look up. 

“You can't what, Baz?” 

“Can't face you after what I did,” 

His admission shook you again, and you put a hand on his back. His muscles jumped at the touch, not having expected it, but he began to cry harder, still hiding his face from you. 

“Baz, Baz it'll be okay,” 

“No it won't. I fucking… I snapped. I lost it. I _hit_ somebody, Claire! I don't know what the fuck is _wrong_ with me lately! It seems like all I manage to do is fuck everything up!” he shook some more, before swiping at his cheeks and turning his head away from you, looking out toward the back ally. “Did you come out here to tell me to leave? I… I understand if… if you want me out after…” 

“God no, Baz, why would you…?” the anxiety. You knew it was but the words slipped out anyway. “I came to talk to you, I don't want you to leave.”   
“I saw the look on your face, Claire… you were disgusted with me,” he whispered, and sniffed again before another few sobs escaped him. “I don't blame you. I'm disgusted with myself.” 

You rubbed his back softly, feeling a couple tears trail down your own cheeks before you leaned your head against his shoulder. “I wasn't disgusted, Baz. Shocked, upset, maybe… maybe a little scared… but not disgusted with you.” 

“Scared?” 

“I… yeah,” you knew as much as it would hurt he would appreciate you being honest. 

“Scared that I could… that I could do that to you?” he asked, voice breaking like just the thought of you possibly thinking that was too much for him to bear. His voice gave him away, the tremor in it and the way his whole body tensed up before shaking like a leaf. The thought absolutely petrified him and you were quickly stumbling over your words to correct him before he let those awful thoughts sink in.

“No! Baz I know you'd never… I _know_ you would never do that,” you insisted, and then swallowed hard. “More like… scared because when I saw you like that, I didn't recognize you. It was like you were somebody else completely.” 

You weren't sure if that shook him worse or not, but he buried his face against his forearms again and while you sat there, unsure of what to do he continued to let the tears fall. 

“I don't know… I wish I had some explanation for you,” he finally whispered, sounding stuffed up and ragged. “I don't know what came over me. I was just so… angry and upset and worked up and he just… I don't know. Rubbed me the wrong way, pushed every last button, and I just couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take hearing everybody tell me I'm not good for you and Chris sending you a fucking _rose_ and everyone saying that Chris _is_ good for you and instead I just… I just proved it to everyone.” 

“No, you didn't,” you whispered, and sniffed to try and keep your nose from running. You were already feeling the headache that crying usually brought on trying to settle in to your forehead. “Baz… we all have breaking points. You hit yours; and that's okay. But… but we have to figure some shit out. Obviously you're not okay, and… and if you don't talk to me about it, I mean, that's your call, but you need to be talking to _somebody_ about it and working on it. Because what happened today? Baz I can't… that was…” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, and finally, _finally_ turned his head to look at you. His eyes were bloodshot to hell and puffy, his cheeks still glistening with fallen tears, skin ashy. He looked like hell and you gently reached out to cup his cheek, the rest of the world fading away. There was no sound of traffic just two stories below and around the corner, no city, just the man you loved who was breaking apart and breaking your heart. “I just… I thought I was managing. That… that by not having it come up all the time maybe I was… maybe I was doing better. But maybe I was lying to myself. Must have been, because today… it was just like I saw red, Claire, and couldn't help it.” 

The two of you sat there for a long time, just breathing and looking at each other, as if it had been months since you'd laid eyes on one another instead of something like a half an hour. Both of you were quiet, before Sebastian swallowed hard and then opened his mouth to try and continue. “And when… when we got back you were just… empty. Mechanical. Draga I knew… I know I blew it. My chest is fucking _aching_ , like I can't even breathe, because I know I fucked up in a way that I'm not sure you can forgive me for. I was honestly waiting for you to tell me to get my shit and leave. You called me Sebastian and could hardly stand to look at me and you hardly ever call me by my full name. I know I fucked up, badly, Claire… but I fucking swear if there's _anything_ I can do to not lose you… please tell me. I'll do anything. I can't stand the thought of losing you.” 

“As of right now? I have no idea what we should do,” you admitted, watching him fold in on himself, fear written all over his features. He expected to be tossed to the curb, you realized, and felt another spear to your already bleeding and wounded heart. “But I'm not telling you to leave, okay? You're not going anywhere. We… we have a lot to figure out… and I need to know what's going on as far as PR and everything. I just really hope that guy doesn't try to charge you or sue you or something.” 

“I… fuck. I'll figure it out, Claire, you don't have to… you don't have to worry about it, okay? I fucked up, it's my mistake and my problem to deal with; you've got enough to worry about without me making things worse,” 

“No. No, you don't get to do that,” you argued, and saw his eyes widen a little in surprise. “Want to know how we've ended up in shitty places over the last how many months? Because we worry and freak out and don't want to make each other worry with our shit and it festers and then blows up. Don't push me out over this because we both know it'll only end up causing more problems later. And it _is_ my problem to deal with because I was there and it was _my_ boyfriend who punched somebody; I'm involved whether you like it or not.” 

He stared at you for a few moments, mouth opening a few times but no sound coming out, before he nodded. 

“I'm sorry, you're right. I talked to Donna, and she's going to have her team keep an eye out for wherever videos or pictures get posted… try and figure out who the guy is and who he works for and see if she can contact them first and settle something out. Likely I'm going to have to do a statement or publicly apologize or something but she's really hoping it can be something minor… but it's going to follow me for a long time. Marvel will probably have something to say about it too, but she's optimistic they won't terminate me for it knowing it's an isolated thing,” he quietly explained, and you nodded, before pulling out your phone. 

“I'll email Kelly, tell her to keep an eye on things to and help Donna out wherever she can,” you replied, and he nodded, swallowing hard and staring out at the view in front of you. 

“Thanks, Claire. I…” 

“What is it?” you softly asked, and watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. 

“I am so sorry for how I acted, draga, and… and I know you said you aren't telling me to leave but if… if you aren't comfortable with me still staying here… I mean I'll sleep on the couch or I can get a hotel room for a couple days or something till we can figure some stuff out. I just… I don't want to hurt you or upset you more than I already have,” his voice wavered on his words, like the tears were threatening to come back just by voicing his concern, by forcing himself to say he'd pull away if it was what you wanted, and you took a deep breath. 

“You're not getting a hotel room, Baz,” you insisted, and saw him slump a little in relief. “I just… I just don't know how I feel right now; I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you at the moment.” 

“No, no draga, it's… it's okay. Honest. I'll… uh… I'll sleep on the couch tonight, okay? And if you want me back in bed with you, you can always come and get me,” he decided, and while you wanted to argue, you had to wonder if maybe it wasn't a good idea. That giving yourselves a tiny degree of separation without truly being apart and causing any more anxiety might help you each sift through all the thoughts and feelings so you could approach it in the next couple of days. So instead you nodded, and saw him copycat the gesture before he took a couple of deep breaths and ran a hand through his hair. It was like you both snapped back to reality then; in a rush that nearly made you dizzy the colour and sound and busyness of LA flooded back in; traffic on the street, someone's TV blaring through their open patio door, the sound of dozens of footsteps and the jingle of a dog's collar below you. The blue of Sebastian's t-shirt suddenly popping out at you and highlighting the fact he looked pale and distraught, even his eyes looked a paler, watered down blue from their usual, and you had to drop your head, narrow your gaze to a loose thread at the knee of your denim shorts to try and keep from being overwhelmed.

“I, um… I'm going to call and make another appointment with my therapist; over the phone or whatever, and um… if… if you want… I think, I'd like it if you could be there or listen too. Just so… just so you know everything that's going on with me too and so we can, so we can work on things, as long as you still want to. I think it'd be better that way,” he suggested, and you nodded, before slowly leaning over and putting your head on his shoulder again. He stiffened for a moment before he was sniffling, and slowly, hesitantly wrapped his arm around your shoulders, nearly gasping in relief when you didn't shrug off the contact. With a soft kiss to your cheek he turned and buried his nose in your hair at your temple, and you let your hand rest on his back, between and just below his shoulder blades as you held him. 

There had to be a way to figure all of this out, there just had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry there's a lot of hardcore feels here... but I updated? So... small silver lining? 
> 
> What do you think will happen? Will they be able to get through this one? Let me know what you think!


	49. Chapter 49

“Claire, oh my god are you okay? I just saw a bunch of shit all over Facebook and Youtube about Sebastian _punching_ some paparazzi before beating the absolute _shit_ out of him! What the hell’s going on?” Annie’s voice was almost too loud in your ear as you connected the call. You winced at the suddenness of it, and curled up around your pillow. It felt so fucking weird to be sleeping alone in your bed, or at least _trying_ to sleep alone, because Sebastian was only some twenty feet away in the living room, tossing and turning just as much as you were judging from the sounds coming from his place on the couch. Never before had the two of you slept apart purposefully, ever since that second night in New York, and especially not when you were both actually in the same city after having been forced to spend so much time apart. It felt wrong, but both of you were trying to be strong about sticking to your guns and not wanting to impede on each other. 

Sebastian had insisted on making dinner and cleaning up, quietly refusing your help and silently begging you to let him do those things, like he was somehow trying to prove to himself that he could be helpful and useful and ‘good’ after being so upset with how he’d behaved earlier. His PR team still hadn’t been able to contact the guy he’d fought or find who he worked for, but pictures and videos were now leaking online at an alarming rate, and texts and calls were flooding in from friends, family, coworkers, etcetera, while you knew Sebastian had turned his phone onto airplane mode. After two news alerts popping up on his phone and a couple emails he’d disconnected, and while you knew he was missing a lot of positive communication, missing the bad was more important for him at the moment. He’d logged into his email on your phone so that if Donna emailed with any PR news you’d know. He just wasn’t able to handle any more of it that night, and you understood. 

The way he’d just disengaged for most of the evening had given him away; while he sat on the other side of the couch, beside you but not too close, and dutifully watched the TV, his blue eyes were vacant and elsewhere. And the few conversations you’d attempted to start, you’d had to try more than once to get his attention, and even then could tell he still felt too awful and guilty to really talk. When you’d announced you were going to bed he’d nodded, gone to give you a hug and nearly stopped himself. That had almost brought on more tears, before you’d gently wrapped your arms around his torso. As softly and slowly as he could manage, he hugged you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, before he’d actually let you help make up the couch for him. After doing your nightly routine and crawling in, you’d been lying there tossing and turning for nearly two hours before the phone had rang, a picture of the you and Annie from senior year lighting up the screen.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m okay,” you allowed, and slowly got up and shut your bedroom door most of the way. That would probably upset Sebastian some more, but hearing Annie get on a rant about it would be worse, and you didn’t want that. He was in rough enough shape as it was.

“You don’t sound okay. What the hell happened?” 

“He just… kind of snapped,” you sighed, crawling back into bed, covering up and getting settled back against your pillows. “We’ve been dealing with a lot of shit the past few months and instead of working through it and talking about it… a lot of it’s been getting bottled up I guess. Some stuff happened earlier today, which definitely didn’t help. Then the guy said some things to him that just… were just the last straw and he lost it.” 

“God… I’m so sorry. Are you guys… how are you guys after this?” she asked, carefully changing her sentence structure just in case, which hurt a little. Had Annie expected you to leave him after that? Or for Sebastian to have walked away? After Sebastian having voiced that he’d expected you to leave too, was staying somehow the wrong decision? It didn’t feel wrong, it just hurt a little amidst everything else.

“We’re pretty shaken up, we just need some time to process it and then figure out what to do, as far as PR and all of that shit and for us,” you quietly answered, and heard her make a sad little sound. 

“I’m so, so sorry Claire; I can’t even fathom him doing something like this even though – I’m sorry but I watched the video because I didn’t believe he was capable of something like this. It was a little scary,” 

“Yeah I know. It’s like it wasn’t even him,” you agreed, and heard a very full silence. 

“Claire… be honest with me here… are you scared?” 

“Jesus Annie, no! I’m not, I swear,” 

“I just… you said it was a little scary, I just need to make sure… that you’re okay, that you’re safe,” she continued, sounding like she hated even feeling an inkling of a need to say it. 

“He would never, and I know that with every part of my being, Annie, I’m not scared of him, I’m not worried about that ever happening or possibly happening,” you told her, so grateful you still sounded as sure as you felt. With how overwhelmed you were you’d been a little worried your tiredness would seep into the words and give her the wrong impression. “It was scary because when it happened I didn’t recognize my Sebastian in him. That’s what… that’s what scares me. It was like he was gone and replaced with somebody else.” 

“Like he went total Winter Soldier and made your Bucky Barnes disappear even though it’s somehow the same guy?” Annie supplied, trying for a joke that only managed a couple sad chuckles from the two of you.

“Yeah, pretty much,” you confirmed, and the two of you sat there in silence for a couple of minutes, not sure what to say. You stared at the wall, a generic picture of tulips hanging there, in shades of grey and pink soft enough to not make the rental white paint on the walls too harsh. Even out the window you couldn’t see much except for the building beside you and a sliver of city light that created a fuzzy halo around the edge of the building, a small barrier between concrete and the dark sky.

“How’re you feeling, about all this? Or still too shell shocked to know?” Annie quietly asked, and you let out a long sigh, pushing some hair back off of your face and feeling tears threatening again. 

“I don’t even know. Part of me still can’t believe it happened, some warped part of my brain is trying to make me scared that maybe he’s just hid this side from me, but I know that’s not true… and I don’t know if I’m upset or scared or mad or what I’m feeling but I just know something feels wrong and I don’t know how to fix it,” 

You were breaking, tears starting to sneak from your eyes and down your cheeks as you tried desperately hard to stay quiet, not wanting to make Sebastian fret any more than he already was as you began to cry, finally hitting your breaking point for all of this mess. In all honesty you were surprised it had taken this long; all evening you’d been waiting, feeling the tears and the tension in your stomach, but somehow the tether stayed taught. Now, however, talking to someone who’d known you since you were a teenager and who knew you inside and out… it was getting too hard to keep under wraps. The room blurred around you slightly as the tears welled up and began to spill over, and you bunched your fist in the duvet cover and pulled it up over your face to help stifle the sound as you began to cry in earnest, still worried about Sebastian being upset or worried hearing you.

“Oh my girl… it’ll be okay eventually; whatever okay ends up looking like. Do you want me to take a few days off and fly down? Is he still in LA with you?” 

“Yeah, he’s still here. Thanks Annie, but I… but I think we need to get to the bottom of it ourselves, first. I really appreciate it though. Maybe after…” you sniffed, and got an affirmative sound from her. 

“Of course sweetie. And you’re… you’re happy? Aside from this incident happening? Have things been okay or have you been hiding away things too?” she asked, and sent you reeling. 

“Claire… you… Claire are you okay?” you jumped at Sebastian’s voice on the other side of the door, quiet and raspy. It was a little muffled, but he’d taken the care to speak louder to make sure you’d hear him without him having to ‘impede’ on your space. He’d probably heard you crying but wanted to give you the dignity of deciding whether you wanted it acknowledged or not.

“I’m just talking to Annie,” you told him, and knew your friend would stay quiet as she heard you talking to your boyfriend. He didn’t open the door, or push on it in the slightest, instead accepting a boundary you’d created. 

“You can tell her… you can tell her all of it. It’s okay,” he finally spoke, and you swallowed hard. Nobody aside from you and Rita knew about the baby thing; Sebastian had quietly admitted to you he hadn’t even told Chace or his mother, so you’d kept it tight to the vest. It hadn’t been your story to tell, so you simply hadn’t told it. But it was huge if he was okay with you telling Annie about it.

“Are you sure? I haven’t told anybody, Baz and I know you haven’t either,” you explained, and heard him take a shaky breath. 

“I’m sure. She wants what’s best for you, Claire, and you trust her so I trust her. If you want to tell her everything, you can. I… um… I hope you’re… yeah. You can tell her, it’s all right,” he repeated, and then you heard him softly pad back down the hall toward the living room. 

“Claire?” 

“Yeah, sorry, Baz just…” 

“Where are you?” 

“In my bed,” you answered, a little puzzled. She’d seemed confused or surprised or something by the exchange.

“Then where’s he? Isn’t it like midnight or something there?” she asked, and you closed your eyes tight as you realized Annie had no idea. While she’d had the thought cross her mind of one of you leaving the other, the thought that there could’ve been some degree of separation hadn’t been present, apparently.

“Baz is uh, he’s sleeping on the couch tonight. His suggestion, so that if I needed some space I’d have it,” you explained, and heard a terribly broken and pained sound come from her. She understood the gravity of that decision and statement too. More than once she’d been on the listening end of a rant about how frustrating and awful it was to be apart from him so often.

“You poor thing; and he _offered_ to?” 

“Yeah. He was so scared… Annie he thought I was going to kick him out. All evening he’s been acting like he’s just waiting for me to say it; then he offered to get a hotel room for a couple nights or something till we figure things out or to sleep on the couch… it breaks my heart seeing him broken like this but I just don’t know what to…” 

“What to do or what’s right for either of you?” she supplied the words you couldn’t seem to find, and you sniffed and wiped a few tears off of your cheeks.   
“Have things been a lot rougher than you’ve let on the past couple months?” 

“I… yeah,” you sighed, and launched into the most detailed account of your life that you’d gone into in a very long time. You used to tell Annie everything; every detail, worry, concern, joy… and lately you knew you’d been shutting her out a little in an attempt to try and respect your boyfriend’s privacy over everything. It wasn’t right, but with her being so removed from this crazy world you’d been flung into and being physically unable to see what was going on, it had been hard to try and talk to her about it at all. 

But now there was no holding back; about the blow up with the whole supposed engagement at Christmas, how your parents and Sebastian’s mother were all pushing so hard for the two of you, how your mother had helped plant this seed of doubt that Sebastian going to leave you over you not being ready to settle down and have kids. Of how that had eaten at you, how things were going down with Chris and how it affected both of you. Sebastian seeing his ex with a little boy and finding out the kid was old enough to be his son, and how that had impacted him and how that had reflected on your relationship and amped up all of the worries and anxieties both of you had been having. 

How fucking relieved you’d been that Rita hadn’t had his child and just not told him, mostly because you could see how much it was hurting him but then a tiny part of you was scared you’d have lost him and that you weren’t equipped yet to try and be in that step-parent role if you didn’t lose him to them. Of how heartbreaking it had been to listen to him talk about how painful it had been to realize he’d _wanted_ that kid to be his, because of his desire to start a family. 

The fights about Chris, and how Chris had kind of forced your hand about seeing him and the blowout that had caused between you and Sebastian and how hard it had been to try and work through it. How his anxieties had been eating away at him and causing him mood swings and to lash out a little bit and not be himself. Then how good things were when you’d gone out to see him with your family days and the two of you felt like you’d made giant strides. How ecstatic you’d been to make the decision to move in together. The terrifying effect of your accident on Sebastian and how upset he’d been but how wonderful and sweet and doting he’d been taking care of you. Then his frustration at the flowers Chris had sent and the fact that they hadn’t gotten to the bottom of the whole rose in the bouquet thing, really, even though you were slowly admitting Sebastian had to be right and Chris had for some reason asked for it in there. How fucking terrified you were now because some tiny part of you was maybe doubting that decision to move in together after seeing this paparazzi blowout and fight happen even though you didn’t want to. That seeing Rita’s name on his phone had stung a little even though you had no right for it to even upset you because you didn’t even know the circumstances. Everything came pouring out and when you’d finished you felt like weight had been removed from your very soul, but the long silence didn’t give away how Annie was feeling and that was worrisome in itself. 

“Claire… I had no idea you guys were going through all of this…” 

“I know, Annie I’m so sorry. It was so fucking hard to try and talk about it with him let alone bringing other people into it and we just… we struggled. But we were doing so much better, we were working on things, talking them out, and we were _happy_ , like the happiest we’ve been in a long time! Organizing moving and then he came out here and had no schedule but to _be_ here for a couple weeks. Even after my accident… Annie we were talking about taking time off. To just move and be settled and be people; go for walks in the park, go to the gym, go on a vacation and just enjoy each other and have time together like we did those first few months… and now…”

“Now it feels like somebody picked up your world, threw it in a cardboard box and gave it a couple hard shakes?” 

“Yeah, pretty much. And I hate it, so much. I’ve been lying here tossing and turning and can’t sleep because I _know_ he’s only twenty some feet away in the living room and I hate the thought of him being here and not sleeping beside him but part of me knows that somehow we need this too. That we aren’t okay and we have to actually acknowledge it and that fucking _scares_ me,” you finished, and felt a few more tears come out even though it seemed physically impossible to be crying any more. 

“I… damn it Claire. I really – I get why you didn’t want to talk about it. I get that it’s something really close and painful for him and it wasn’t your place to share the whole thing about his ex and that kid. But I wished you’d let us know _something_ wasn’t right. Claire I hate to say it because I love how much he loves you but after hearing all of this? I’m really, really worried that he could be toxic for you,” she said, and you felt like the world just dropped out from under you. Annie was a huge part of your support system; she was probably the backbone of it, even if Lizzie had taken on a chunk of that role the past year or so. For her to not want you with Sebastian was like ripping your heart out of your chest.

“What?” 

“I know, and believe me, I hate it. I know how much you love him, Claire, and you were so happy with him whenever we saw the two of you. But… but some of what that reporter said is true, unfortunately, and from what you’ve told me… I get he’s got anxiety and shit. Lots of us do, and it’s okay, it’s normal, but he has to be actively dealing with it and managing it. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing that and instead it’s impacting you and having a hold on your life that it shouldn’t. While it may not be anywhere as severe as what he’s being accused of… in little ways… maybe without even realizing it he’s doing it. When’s the last time the two of you went on a date? When’s the last time the two of you were just _happy_ without some kinds of bullshit going on? I know life is life and it throws curveballs but it seems like after the first six months of you two dating that’s _all_ you’ve had. Curveball after curveball and maybe some of it didn’t have to happen if he’d been honest about his feelings or the anxiety or working on those things, and that’s not fair. When you’ve changed how you live your life simply to accommodate him without any reciprocation… that’s not fair and it’s not healthy. 

“He’s practically thirty-five… and I mean I get we all do things our own way on our own time, and so much of me is holding out on the thought that maybe his life’s been waiting for _you_ , but maybe… maybe there’s a reason he was single and wanted to be with someone younger, Claire. There just seems to be a lot of weird shit for him to deal with and while a lot of it is totally reasonable, some of it seems like the shit we dealt with in relationships when we were younger; high-school or college stuff, with all of these issues he has with Chris, and I know that even when you and Kyle were dating you were so over all of those things. Not going to events because you might run into Chris, him getting angry and over reacting over you wanting to be friends with him; which I’m not happy about but I fully respect your decision to have whoever you want in your life, and he should be able to do that, because he’s a grown-ass man! Claire, there’s no doubt you two love each other and that he wants forever with you. We can all see it and we’ve only seen him a handful of times over the past almost two years. But is he, like this, the kind of guy you want forever with? Is he healthy for you? Are _you_ happy with or without him? And are you gonna be happy with him ten, twenty years from now? Is all of this worth it?” she asked, and instead of answering it was like you broke the dam. Tears flooding down and out and sobs that were uncontrollable. It felt like your heart was being stabbed with every painful statement, beaten and bruised and yet valiantly trying to stand back up after each and every blow.

To hear Annie tearing apart your relationship without even _meaning_ to, just by trying to bring to light the things she’d noticed or was worried about, was one of the most awful things you’d ever experienced. You’d thought you parents telling you that Jacob Westworth was a bad egg and that you shouldn’t go out with him first year of college had been upsetting… this was a million and one times worse. It felt like she was wrecking you from the inside out and there was no controlling the outburst of emotion it caused. Bad enough you couldn’t stifle it and whether or not or what Sebastian could hear in the living room wasn’t even at the forefront of your mind. You couldn’t _fathom_ losing him, not like this, not for these reasons, and every part of your very being needed to explain to your best friend and make her see.

“Annie he is; he is worth it… he’s not toxic, he's not; I swear,” you answered, crying harder than you could ever remember doing. “I love him and I want that forever with him, Annie. It’s fucking scary but I do. But then… then to see _this_ happen and not even feel like it’s him? And-and with all of this shit with Chris making me wonder if it’s worth trying to have my friend back in him because of what it’s doing to Sebastian and if I’m an awful person for wanting that friendship back, but then feeling like it’s my right to have the friends I want and that he should be respectful of it and I just feel like I’m being torn apart and I don’t know what to do or how to fix it and the person I need to lean on is just as torn apart as I am right now and I don’t want him to feel like he has to put me back together when he needs the same thing!” 

The phone dropped onto the mattress then, nearly forgotten as you let the tears overwhelm you and take you, unable and uncaring to stop them. Even the ache in your ribs couldn’t stop you from doubling over, your knees to your chest as sobs overtook you. You cried for how upset you’d been, for how hurt Sebastian had been, and how much the two of you had struggled and grown together and how fucking scared you were of losing all of that with him. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that you had that uncanny feeling of being under someone’s gaze; you raised your head and saw him standing in the doorway, hand still glued to the doorknob, tears running unhindered down his face too. His entire appearance was disheveled and upset; his t-shirt skewed from having been tossing and turning, his boxer shorts in the same shape, eyes red with dark circles beneath them and his hair a mess. He didn’t walk in, his feet never crossed the threshold, and you knew it was because he needed to have the okay from you, that this was Sebastian doing the best he knew how to respect you, knowing that you weren’t okay and that he was at the root of it. Somewhere in the back of your mind it registered that Annie was saying something, her voice quiet and small coming from your phone that was lying on the duvet, mostly forgotten as your world seemed to center its focus on the man standing in front of you, hardly keeping himself together.

“Baz…” you managed to get out his name and watched him fall apart with a sob as he closed the space between the two of you and wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you to sit on his lap as he cried into your hair and held you tight. He rocked the two of you gently, his frame wracked by his sobs and something deep inside of you recognized he was feeling the same kind of anguish. 

“I don’t wanna lose you Claire you’re everything to me but I can’t seem to quit fucking things up and giving you reasons to fucking leave me and I hate myself for it. I can’t stand to lay there and hear you crying and know it’s my fucking fault and that I’m the one hurting you,” he wept, holding you tight while you cried into the t-shirt he’d worn to sleep in, feeling the warmth of his bare thighs beneath your own where his boxers had rode up. 

“Baz I don’t want to lose you either,” you gasped, clinging to him like your life depended on it. You’d missed this _closeness_ and connection all evening. It was something that had always came so naturally and easily to the two of you and felt so fundamentally wrong when it was missing.

“What if she’s right? What if I’m toxic for you and I’m just hurting you? Claire I couldn’t live with myself knowing I was doing that to you,” 

“Baz,” 

“You have to be honest with me, one hundred percent. Is there any part of you that doubts being with me? That doesn’t think I’m the one or that I’m good for you? That doesn’t want to marry me or have kids with me, not just in the _now_ but _ever_? Please, Claire, I’m begging you, you have to be honest with me,” he asked, gathering your hands into his, his eyes boring into you and nearly making your heart stop. 

All you could see in those depths was concern and love; even the fear he had about losing you was outweighed by the fact that he wanted what was best for you, and that struck a chord inside of you. No matter how crazy or ‘bad’ things got, Sebastian loved you, and valued you above just about anything else in his life; the fact that he’d go through what he considered the absolute devastation – and expected it almost – of losing you for you to do what was best for yourself spoke volumes to it. That if you said the words he’d up and leave, tears still streaming down his face and heart broken but determined because it was the best thing for you. That was somehow the only thing you needed, and your answer was on your tongue without you even having to think about it.

“No there isn’t,” you whispered, and he collapsed, wrapping himself around you again as relief visibly seeped through him.

“I’ll do anything. I’ll have Donna find some kind of anger management program and I’ll go to it. I’ll go to my therapist five times a week. I’ll even fucking walk up to Chris’s fucking house and have coffee with him and be as civil as is humanely possible. I’ll give up acting and just be here for you or be part of your team or be a fucking busboy again in New York or if you ever want it with me a stay at home husband or dad so you can have all these things you deserve and I won’t keep being in situations that’ll throw us in jeopardy. I know right now I’m a long way from being the man you might want a family with but I’m working on it, I swear. I’ll do anything so I don’t lose you draga,” he cried, and you could only press yourself into him tighter. His words wrapped around you like a security blanket, like they could somehow manifest from his voice and become a physical thing to protect your heart with, holding you as tightly as he physically was. Like they were pasting little band aids over the cracks and bleeding wounds that Annie’s words and your own fears had inflicted on your heart, then softly kissing them better and holding the pieces together while they began to heal. It was a comforting feeling, the likes of which you’d never experienced.

The two of you sat there until the tears finally subsided and Sebastian could hardly keep his eyes open, exhaustion winning the battle that he’d been fighting all evening. You finally coaxed him to lie down, and as soon as he’d done so and curled around his pillow he was softly snoring, looking like years had been taken off of his appearance while you ran your fingers through his mop of thick, corn silk soft hair. After softly pushing some stray hairs off of his face you leaned over and kissed his forehead, hearing a small, pleased sound come from his throat. It was then you realized that your phone was half-buried in the blankets and that for some crazy reason Annie hadn’t hung up the phone nearly fifteen minutes later. 

“Hello?” you whispered, and heard some scrambling. 

“I… sorry I just put you on speaker and put it down… Claire?” 

“Yeah Annie?” 

“I swear to God if you don’t marry him you’re in trouble,” she laughed, although you could tell some tears were intermingled. That had come out of left field considering the last words she’d said.

“Y-you…” 

“I know what I said… I mean, of course I worry about you and after hearing you’ve been keeping so much from everyone and going through all of those things with next to no support… of course that worries me. Those can be giant warning signs of an emotionally manipulated relationship, whether it was on purpose or not. And he’s got his issues but his heart is in the right place. He might need to do a lot of smartening up and growing up _still_ , but Claire, honey; after hearing that? I’m sorry for hearing it because it wasn’t meant for me but… I don’t think you’ll ever find a man who will work as hard for you or love you as hard as he does. Claire… he’s willing to give up _everything_ he’s worked for, that he’s dreamed about and wanted, just for you. To make sure he’s doing things to _change_ and work on whatever’s been problematic… I’m so, so sorry I had doubted that. I just… you know I worry about you. You went through so much bullshit with Kyle and then with Chris that I just couldn’t stand the thought of you staying and putting up with it for the sake of it or God forbid because somehow that’s become normalized for you. 

“But Claire… Claire you have to make sure you’re taking care of yourself too. If that means a break – not like a stupid break-up break but like a no texting, calling whatever for a couple of days – to make sure you’re okay then you have to do it. I know it’s shitty because you don’t see him a lot but you _have_ to take care of you too. I’m just… I’m glad I know that he’s there one hundred percent and no matter what for you. It’s about time somebody besides me and your mom realized how special you are and capitalized on it,” she joked and you managed a small giggle at Annie being so much like Annie, even though it had absolutely destroyed you to hear her wonder if Sebastian was a toxic relationship. You knew she only ever had your best interests at heart. 

“Thanks Annie. I know you just want what’s best for me but… it’s just… I can’t imagine not being with him. And it’s not just a ‘holding on to what was good’ kind of thing, I know you worry about things like that,” you explained, quietly getting off of the bed and walking out to the living room so Sebastian could sleep and not be interrupted. “Even looking at all this shit we’ve gone through… I think we’ve grown a lot as people together because of it, and it’s huge. To know that we're getting better at it and we _can_ talk when things happen and manage to talk when it happens and planning… planning a life together because we’ve gotten to know each other so well. And I think… we talked about taking some time off after Avengers and my movie premiere… and I think it’ll be good for us. Get our feet back under us and go back to that stronger place so we can keep working on us and getting stronger together. With Kyle… with Kyle I struggled to be my own person when he wasn’t there, because he made me insecure and unsure and almost dependent on him, but with Baz? It sucks and it hurts because we’re apart but I never feel like I can’t be me or can’t have my life just because he’s somewhere else for work. I think he’s good for me, Annie. And maybe you’re right, maybe he’s got some growing up to do… but so do I before I’m ready for any of those things too, like marriage or kids, so I think it’s okay as long as we get there. And I’m not… I’m not as scared to try something just because I’m scared it won’t work out. I know he’s there being supportive and it really helps. He’s… he’s so much to me, Annie, that sometimes I scare myself, but I can’t imagine losing him.” 

“And all that? Jesus Claire I think that’s the most and most honest I’ve ever heard you talk about someone. You really, really love him, don’t you?” Annie’s voice softened. 

“Yeah, I really, really do,” you smiled to yourself as you answered. 

“Enough to have his adorable, blue eyed, bilingual babies when he gets his shit together?” she teased, and you giggled. 

“Eventually,” you allowed, and heard her laugh again. 

“That’s the selling point. You’re so done for, girl, but I’m glad that it’s him. However, I’m still going to smack him one next time I see him for making you cry; he can’t get off the hook that easy,” she informed you and you groaned at her before she apologized for needing to go to sleep. It was several hours later in Lancaster than it was in LA, and you quickly said your goodbyes with a promise to talk soon, and hung up. 

The mess of blankets and a pillow on the couch put a little pain in your chest. You hated the thought of him sleeping on the couch as much as he’d probably hated suggesting it, but knew he would’ve argued if he’d had the tiniest inkling of you feeling uncomfortable going to sleep in the same bed pretending all was fine when it wasn’t. His phone was still on the floor, so you picked it up so you could plug it into his charger on his nightstand.

With that you crept back into your room, hearing Sebastian snoring softly, not having moved an inch from where he’d fallen asleep when you’d left. After plugging in your phones you crawled in, and heard Sebastian make a noise in his throat, before his head slowly lifted off the pillow. 

“Draga?” his voice was raspy from the crying, and undoubtedly his throat was sore. You nodded, reaching out and putting your hand in his. Immediately his long fingers closed around your smaller ones, the gesture protective but soft all at once.

“Yeah Baz?” 

“I’m really so, so sorry for putting you through all of this,” he whispered, and you felt his thumb stroke along the back of your palm. “I really am. Did… did Annie tell you to dump my sorry ass? I… I’m sorry but I heard you start to cry and heard about her thinking I was toxic for you and that… fuck that scared me. So I’m assuming that’s where she stands as far as I go and you being in a relationship with me, and I know… I know her opinion means the world to you. I just… Does she want you to kick my sorry ass to the curb? Or is she going to castrate me first, _then_ have you dump me for maximum effect?” 

You couldn’t tell if he was aiming for a dry joke or not, so simply shook your head before scooting a tiny bit closer to him. In all honesty you wanted to be wrapped up in his arms but were unsure where the two of you were standing at the moment as far as this went. There was some weird space between the two of you that was only going to shrink and heal as you worked through all of this, and you knew that. But the fact it was there was just as upsetting as anything else. Obviously Sebastian felt it too, or he would have closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped himself around you.

“No, Baz, nothing like that. She uh, she heard everything after you came in here,” you explained, and heard his sharp little intake of breath. He hadn’t expected that. “And actually she told me I better marry your ass so I doubt she’s planning on castrating you. She wants to be an auntie someday way too much for that. Smacking you one, maybe, but that’s about it.” 

“She... she said… what? Really?” 

“Yeah, she did. She heard what you’d said, and… I think she was just worried that it seemed like a lot of shit kept piling up and there was always something else happening. She’s been like my protective big sister ever since we first became friends in the eighth grade; she just wants what’s best for me. And Baz? You’re that,” you told him, and closed the space between the two of you to place a soft kiss to his lips. He kissed back just as tenderly and chastely, and gave your hand a soft squeeze. 

“I just… wow. I really… I really thought she was going to hate me and tell you that you needed to get rid of me. And I mean, sometimes ‘m scared that she wouldn’t be wrong. It seems like I brought a lot of bullshit and problems into your life. You’re young, you have the world at your fingertips and the last thing you need is me and all of my problems, iubit. Me? I’m an old guy who wants to settle down and have kids but apparently can’t figure out something as simple as how to not fuck up a relationship, long enough to get to that point with someone,” he softly explained, and you shook your head again and kissed him. 

“You’re wrong, Baz. First of all, you’re not old; five grey hairs in your beard don’t make you old. And you aren’t fucking up a relationship. We’ve gone through a lot, yeah, but you’ve brought so many good things to my life too. I’m so happy with you Baz, and I feel better about myself and confident in me and us as a couple, and those are things I’ve never had before. I can take a chance and try something because I know if I fall or fail you’re still going to love me anyway. I can look at the future and not be paralyzed by wondering if I’ll accomplish things or be successful or have the things I want, because I have you and I see you in that future,” you whispered, and felt Sebastian scoot over to wrap himself around you and press sweet kisses to your cheeks and forehead. 

“I love you so, so goddamn much, Claire,” he mumbled against your skin, and you breathed him in. 

“I love you too Baz,” 

“And I meant what I said; I’ll call Donna first thing in the morning and have her look into programs so I can get all my shit figured out, okay?” 

“I really don’t think anger management is what you need, Baz,” you argued, but he shook his head. 

“But I feel like trying it might be important. Obviously I apparently have some anger issues that need to be resolved _without_ turning into an asshole,” he sighed, and you felt him gently finger-combing through your hair, something he hadn’t done for a while that made you all but melt into him. “I’m going to exhaust all options, sweetheart. I want to be the best man I can be for you, and as much as it feels weird I guess taking care of myself is the best way to take care of you and us,” 

“There you go babe,” you kissed him again. “That’s something I struggle with all the time too, but I think if we can both admit it and start working on it, maybe that’s the first step to getting better?” 

“Whatever that step is I’m jumping in with both feet, iubit. I’ll do whatever it takes,” he softly told you, and kissed your knuckles and then your lips very gently. 

Somehow that was all it took for him to begin melting away that weird space that had put itself between the two of you, and you let yourself snuggle in against his chest, his body heat seeping into you and warming you to your core. A small step in the right direction that felt humungous and momentous and relieving all at once. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long to get out! I was at my best friend's wedding back home for the weekend and did not have my laptop with me to update when I'd originally thought I would be able to. 
> 
> I hope you guys like the new chapter! (Sorry for all the feels)


	50. Chapter 50

“WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON? OPEN THE DOOR!” 

Both you and Sebastian sleepily lifted your heads, having slept completely tangled together the entire night, buried beneath every blanket on the bed. While your brain felt foggy, probably due to the fact there had been a lot of tears and shock the day before, you realized that both of you were covered in a thin sheen of sweat from being overheated beneath the covers and being pressed together the entire night, both of you too exhausted and attached to have moved much while you’d slept. In seemingly the same state, he blinked groggily, blue eyes not quite clear yet with a mixture of sleep and still being drained from the previous day’s events. 

“Huh?” he asked, voice still thick and his confusion evident. Someone was banging on the front door and hollering, and you groaned before pressing a soft kiss to his lips and then sitting up. 

“Babe, come back to bed, please,” he asked reaching out to you, but when the banging resumed you both sighed, knowing it wasn’t feasible. You threw on a sweater and pulled on a pair of cut off sweats. Sebastian then pulled himself out of bed and slid into a pair of gym shorts and followed along behind you. 

“Hello?” you asked, swinging open the door and nearly getting a knock on the forehead. On the other side of the door were a very, very upset Chace and Lizzie, both looking about to blow. However, after blinking once and catching himself from knocking on the door that had swung open, and therefore knocking on your face instead, Chace slumped in relief and let his arm drop to his side.

“Jesus! Neither of you have been answering your phones! I saw a video last night of Sebastian beating the shit out of some paparazzi guy and no statements available from either of you and all kind of speculation going on and Jesus you guys had me scared!” Chace flung himself at you, only checking himself at the last moment from hugging you too hard because of your still sore ribs. Lizzie was just standing there, looking unsure of what she thought or felt, and you offered her a tired smile. 

“Sorry – we kind of shut everything down at some point yesterday; I talked to Annie for like a half an hour and then turned my phone on airplane mode,” you apologized, ushering the two of them inside. Chace was nearly shaking with pent up energy, while Lizzie seemed very conservative and reserved which wasn’t really her normal. 

“So, want to explain what’s going on and why TMZ and People and all kinds of media outlets are calling Sebastian all kinds of names and speculating about whether or not the two of you are in an abusive relationship?” Lizzie asked a minute later as she sat down at the kitchen table. Sebastian’s eyes widened almost comically in shock while you froze in place; Chace simply continued helping you make coffee while you stuttered and gasped, pulling things out of your hands as he needed them. 

“What?” you asked, and she swallowed hard. 

“There’s some people trying to ‘question’ whether or not you’re in a healthy relationship or if those things that pap accused you of are true and Seb got physical over it because of that,” she continued, picking at her sleeve and looking awful that she was the one delivering this news. Sebastian looked on the verge of breakdown again, and you abandoned making coffee, knowing Chace had it covered, to gently put a hand on his arm and try to check in with him. 

“Wha—I can’t even…” he kept floundering, trying to find words but not able to do so, before you shared a look with Chace and helped ease him down to a kitchen chair before his legs gave out from under him. Immediately his head was in his hands, breathing hard and you winced at the thought of him going into a full-blown panic attack right here at the kitchen table in front of your friends. He’d be upset about it being that visible afterward. 

“I know, I know; it’s bullshit. But you didn’t just snap or take a wild swing, man; you kinda went after him. You looked fucking vicious,” Chace sighed, and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder in support. 

“You guys… you know I’d never…” he asked, eyes wide and searching as he looked between Chace and Lizzie. It hadn’t occurred to you that maybe their concern wasn’t just over not being able to contact you, and you held your breath waiting for their response. You weren’t sure what to do or say if they somehow thought Sebastian could be abusive, be it emotionally or physically. Especially not when both of them were so involved in your lives and would’ve been able to see those red flags if they’d been there. Even just knowing that they could’ve been worried about it would destroy Sebastian.

“I know you’d never hurt her,” Lizzie nodded, with a small smile for him. His eyes turned up to Chace who nearly looked offended at having been asked. After nearly dumping coffee grounds across the counter, narrowly getting them all in the filter, he crossed his arms and gave Sebastian a pointed look.

“Dude I know you’d never ever put a hand on Claire; regardless of what the fuck was going on. And we all know if I’d _ever_ thought you possibly maybe could, I’d beat the crap out of you,” he agreed, and Sebastian’s shoulders slumped a little bit. Relief flashed across his features for a moment before that anxiety and worry was back, and you chewed on your lip in your own nervousness.

“Do people honestly think I would do that?” he whispered, and Chace’s expression gave more away than you thought he wanted it to. Obviously questions were being raised, but you hoped it would blow over without ruining Sebastian’s reputation and career. 

“If… if I say something… will it have any weight? Or are people just going to try and denounce what I’m saying as having been influenced by Baz if people are bound and determined to try and peg it on him?” you asked, and Lizzie shrugged. 

“I really don’t know, I’ve never been in a position to have to worry about it,” she admitted, and chewed on a hangnail a little bit before looking to Chace. “Thoughts?” 

He’d returned to making coffee, and soon the smell of it was permeating the apartment, making a few stomachs rumble as well. You quickly grabbed your phone and pulled up Ubereats and ordered a box of donuts from your favourite bakery to save anybody having to go anywhere and get something. With only a ten-minute wait it wouldn’t be too bad. 

“I have no idea, I’ve never had to deal with this either. My thoughts would be it can’t hurt for you to speak up, obviously, but it might take all of the girls rallying with you and supporting you to help prove it to others that, like you said, it’s your truth rather than people trying to cry about Sebastian controlling what you’re saying,” Chace sighed, and ran a hand over his face. He looked a little rough; a few days scruff on his face, his hair looking uncombed and messy, and then it hit you. 

“Did you hop a flight in the middle of the night to get here?” you gasped, and Chace’s blue eyes widened before he cocked an eyebrow at you.

“Nah, Claire I walked here. Made pretty good time, eh?” he teased, before chuckling and reaching to pull you into a hug and ruffle up your hair affectionately. “I was worried about you two; of course I flew out. I had to make sure you guys were okay.” 

“You really didn’t have to fly out man – I’ll cover your flights for you,” Sebastian rasped out, finally speaking up for the first time in a little bit. 

“No, don’t worry about it Seb,” Chace shrugged it off, and looked sheepish at the look you shot him. “I mean it! I got a really good deal on the flight and Lizzie was nice enough to pick me up from the airport, no Uber or cab needed. I’d called her after I couldn’t get a hold of the two of you; and I got a deal on a last-minute seat because the flight was pretty empty.” 

“Chace…” 

“I mean it, I’m not letting either of you two pay for it, so let it go. We need to help you guys figure this shit out,” he sighed, before your phone dinged that the donuts were at the front door. Thank God the app ran on Wi-Fi and you hadn’t had to truly reconnect to service.

“I’ll be back in two minutes,” you said, and saw Sebastian was about to argue you before he snapped his mouth shut and nodded. He was probably terrified of making you feel like he was being ‘controlling’ in any sense now, and arguing or even challenging something would be part of that. One more thing to add to the list of shit neither of you needed to be dealing with.

You jogged down the stairs and to the front door, and grabbed the bag as quickly as was possible, but heard the tell-tale hollering and pandemonium that meant a group of paparazzi were hanging around and _somehow_ had figured out where you lived and were waiting and hoping for a glimpse of you or Sebastian. With an internal groan you gave a tiny wave and a fake smile that hopefully looked passable before trying to duck back into your lobby and having the door lock behind you before they could get close.

By a stroke of luck you managed to get the door locked behind you before the first person made it there, and you were halfway up the stairs, out of sight and hearing range of them as you let yourself back in to your rental. The smell of donuts immediately hit everybody and soon there was a scramble to get plates out, cups of coffee organized and food into everyone’s bellies before you got up and retrieved Sebastian’s from the bedroom. 

Sebastian turned it on and it blew up immediately, so he placed it face down on the table to pick at his food. It was obvious he was doing it more for the comfort of doing such a normal act; drinking a cup of coffee and eating some breakfast, as opposed to whether he had any actual appetite. The way he picked and nibbled at the cherry Danish on his plate in front of him told all of you that much. 

Your phone was soon going through its’ influx of messages and missed calls and voicemails, not having had the time to figure it out as you’d only hooked up the UberEats app to Wi-Fi to order the donuts, and you felt like your heart stopped when you saw several calls from your parents, and several from Etta; no texts, so you had no context to what they were feeling or thinking, but missed calls and voicemails. That was on top of messages from your manager, from Kelly and the PR team, and several coworkers all expressing concern. 

“Baz, hon… you should maybe give your mom a call. She’s tried getting a hold of me a couple times,” you softly suggested, and saw him biting his lip.

“Uh… she…” 

“I don’t know what all specifically, but I think you need to talk to her about it,” you urged, and he nodded, before looking at his phone. His attention was caught by something specific, and you all watched as he selected whatever it was and then his brows furrowed. 

“Can you… Can I use your phone to call her?” he asked, nearly slamming his down onto the table. Whatever it was hadn’t been good.

“Of course,” you handed it over, and he scooted his phone along the table toward you, although you weren’t exactly sure why, if he wanted you to look at it and see what had set him off or not. But it didn’t feel right to you to just go through his phone, so you left it where it was. Once he’d got up, after pressing a kiss to the top of your head, he grabbed his coffee cup and your cell and walked out to the balcony, before turning tail nearly immediately and coming back in. He pulled the sliding door shut so fast it nearly slammed, which made him jump at the sound.

“There’s a goddamn herd of paparazzi out on the street,” he announced, and you groaned. 

“I know, a couple people saw me go grab the donuts,” you sighed, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Shit, now you’ll never have any peace and quiet, iubit…” 

“We can figure that out later, okay? You call your mama and talk to her and we’ll come up with a plan from there,” you tried to give him a supportive smile, but knew it had failed a little by the fact he got a worried expression and came back to the table to press a kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger a moment before going to the bedroom and gently closing the door behind him for some privacy. 

“I can’t believe people think he’s capable of that,” you finally mumbled, before getting up and digging through the cupboard. After finding a bottle of baileys you dumped some in your coffee instead of cream, and set it in the middle of the table so Lizzie and Chace both knew they were more than welcome to do the same. Lizzie didn’t hesitate and poured a healthy shot into her own mug before topping it back up with coffee, and only after some internal debate did Chace do the same. 

“I know, it’s insane. Especially when he’s really vocal about supporting feminist movements and everything, like the ‘Me Too’ and ‘Time's Up’ stuff. Any interview he gets asked about it he’s really honest about it. We’ve all heard him talk about how important these things are. He was raised by a single mother for God’s sakes – there’s never been a question about him,” Chace agreed, and you nodded while Lizzie made a face. 

“But look how many people get accused and it all just falls by the wayside. People are probably so desensitized to celebrity scandal at this point nobody would stop to think ‘well that doesn’t make sense’ they just jump on it,” she grouched, taking another long sip of her coffee. The Romanian in the room at the end of the hall was slowly getting louder before it went silent, and you heard the door swing open. 

“Claire? Iubit, Mama wants to talk to you,” he tried to sound put together, you could tell, but his voice wavered a little bit. You quickly got up and made your way over, and wrapped your arms around him and kissed his cheek. There was a slight shake in his hand as he closed your fingers around the phone, and he nuzzled his face against your temple for a moment, taking a deep breath.

“Of course. You okay puiut?” you asked, and he shook his head. “Do you want to come in with me?” 

“She wants to talk to you… alone, Claire,” he mumbled, and your stomach dropped. There was no way Etta thought it was possible that Sebastian had done anything to you, was there? 

“Okay; I’ll talk to her for a bit and then maybe call you so we can all chat?” you suggested instead, and he nodded, kissing the top of your head again before walking back to the kitchen and your friends. With that you put the phone up to your ear and went into your room, closing the door behind you, before realizing there was nobody on the other end. 

“Uh… okay?” you looked at the screen and pressed the home button to see the call had only been disconnected five seconds ago, and then a Facetime call came in, Etta’s picture popping up. That made sense. 

“Salut, Etta; how are you?” you asked, flipping on the light and then settling down at the head of your bed, pillows behind your back to support yourself and get comfortable. 

“Oh Bibic, not good. I’ve been getting awful phone calls and seeing articles about my boy attacking some photographer and now hearing all kinds of things about him being abusive or violent to you and I don’t want to believe my Sebik could ever, _ever_ do such a thing but—”

“You don’t have to believe it because it’s false, Etta. Baz would never, ever do such a thing; that pap egged him on, then after that first swing Baz was going to get in the car to leave, and the guy sucker punched him. We’d just had a really shitty stressful day, we’re still working through a bunch of stuff and things were really raw and it was just… kind of the last straw. He snapped; and he feels awful and shitty and embarrassed over it Etta but he would never, ever hit me or hurt me,” you explained, hoping she would hear it in your voice just how desperately you meant it. 

“For sure, bibic? You feel safe right now telling me this? You’re by yourself?” she asked, and you nearly teared up over her concern. She really was the sweetest woman in the world, but it broke you to think she was concerned enough that this worry for you felt relevant even though it was her own son that was being discussed.

“I’m by myself, in my room; Baz is with Chace and Lizzie in the kitchen. I’m always safe with him, Etta, I am. Sebastian would never hurt me, he doesn’t try to manipulate or control me or any of the awful things that they’re trying to accuse him of,” you told her, and saw Etta begin to cry, hands over her face even as relief took over her features. 

“Oh thank god, bibic; I was so, so scared that somehow Sebik could possibly be capable of something like that and I’d spent Christmas with you, in his home where you’d been staying and I’d missed something so monumental, somehow. I was so scared maybe I was blinding myself because he’s my baby and I couldn’t stand the thought of somehow not being receptive if you’d been trying to let me know you needed help or something,” 

“Oh God no, Etta don’t worry yourself, okay? There was nothing to miss. I love him; we’re happy. We’ve gone through some hard things and sometimes that means arguments but it’s never anything more than that; words and then trying to figure it out together. The same way every other couple I know does and the same way my parents do. I’m totally safe,” you nodded, and gave her a smile. She looked so unbelievably relieved. 

“I feel so terrible for having doubted him, Bibic; I’m his mother. I just… couldn’t bear the thought or possibility that…” 

“He understands Etta, I’m sure. That’s a huge thing and he knows you just want to make sure we’re both okay,” you waved it off, and saw her tiny nod. “Can I call him in and we can all talk?” 

“That would be lovely, Claire; please,” she quietly asked, dabbing at her eyes with a Kleenex. You got up, walked to the door and opened it, immediately catching the attention of the three in the kitchen, before waving your boyfriend in. He hurried along, and met you with another sweet kiss before the two of you curled up together on the bed; your head on his chest and his hand on your shoulder as he took up the job of holding the phone. 

“Seba draga mea, sunt așa, îmi pare rău; Trebuia să mă asigur că este în siguranță, să o audă. Te rog să mă ierţi,” she immediately was in tears again, and Sebastian was doing his best to comfort her. It was easy to see though, that it was killing him to not be able to help her in person, and it struck you again just how far Sebastian truly was from the man he was being made out to be all over media and press. 

“It’s okay Mama; I know. I know it’s because you love Claire and wanted to make sure, right from her that she was okay. It’s okay Mama,” he assured her through her tears, until finally she was able to calm down a little bit. 

 

“Thank you Seba; te iubesc draga mea,” she told him.   
“I love you too Mama,” he smiled back and then let out a long breath. “So… how bad is it? How many people are trying to get a hold of you to say I’m some kind of monster?” 

His question was abrupt and caught both of you off guard, and Etta shook her head. It was tearing her up to know that this was even circulating, let alone hearing her son speak about himself that way.

“Nobody has called with that, Seba, but lots of people have been telling me to check this website article and that one or turn the news to this show and then trying to poke around and see what I will say. I told everybody to go stick their noses up their asses before I tried calling you two,” Etta’s slightly dry sense of humour poked through, and you managed a grin at her. In all honesty you couldn’t imagine her actually telling someone to stick their nose up their ass and leave her alone, but where her baby boy was concerned she may just cross that line. She loved Sebastian fiercely, and it was amazing. 

“Mama, that’s not very nice,” he teased, and she huffed. 

“Neither is calling my boy any of those awful things,” she snipped, making both of you chuckle a little bit. You chatted for a few minutes, Sebastian fairly quiet throughout the visit, until your phone began beeping for an incoming call. Seeing your parents’ picture flash on the screen you felt Sebastian go tense as a board beside you. 

“Etta, maică, is it okay if we let you go? My parents are calling,” you finally piped up, and she nodded, dabbing at any remaining offending moisture on her cheeks as she gave you a small smile.

“Of course, bibic; I will talk to you two later okay? Promise to call?” 

“Of course Mama,” Sebastian piped up, and you seconded his sentiment. 

“Do you want me to go back to the kitchen?” he asked quietly while you stared down at your phone. 

“No, stay; please,” you asked, and he nodded, kissing you sweetly before you connected the call and heard all kinds of racket on the other end. The screen was moving all over the place, and would’ve nearly given you motion sickness if you weren’t unfortunately used to your parents issues with technology. They liked to Facetime but then couldn’t quite figure out that holding the screen still was far better for someone watching on the other end.

“Mom? Dad?” you spoke up, and heard it quiet down a bit. 

“Claire! Honey what took you so long to answer?” your mom asked, finally coming into view, and you rolled your eyes a little. 

“Was just on the phone with Baz’s mum, that’s all,” you replied, and saw her nod. Her eyes then moved to your left and to Sebastian, taking him in while her gaze softened.

“I see, I see. Sebastian, hi sweetie, how are you holding up?” she asked, her voice getting softer, and Sebastian floundered a little, not having expected to be given any treatment that wasn’t cold and accusing right off the bat. 

“I think saying I’ve been better is an understatement,” he allowed, and you watched your mother’s expression fall as she cooed over him. 

“You poor thing; I can’t even imagine. We’ve had neighbours stopping by trying to snoop and Harry is just outside chasing that Willis kid out of the yard after he stopped by out of nowhere asking questions. You know, the weird one who used to follow you home from school sometimes in the seventh grade?” you groaned at your mother’s inability to stay on one relevant train of thought, and Sebastian looked over at you in surprise. 

“Long story, not important right now. You guys, uh, saw all that stuff then, I’m guessing?” 

“Saw it? Honey it was practically shoved in our faces watching the news this morning. All the local channels are running some kind of blip about it because it’s you. We’ve had something like eight phone calls from reporters asking for statements. Your father told the last one to go to hell; that if he was worried that your boyfriend wasn’t treating you right he’d have taken care of it long before something like this happened,” she explained, and Sebastian managed a snort of a laugh at the comment. It made you grin, his first real show of anything resembling happiness all morning, and you squeezed his bicep a little, earning a grin before he dropped a quick kiss to your lips. 

“You guys aren’t… weren’t mad or wanting to come out here and string me up or anything? Seems like the rest of the world doesn’t have much problem believing I’d do something like that,” he asked, smile disappearing the moment he started speaking, like his whole being was weighed down by the thought. Your mother clucked her tongue and shook her head, and you tried to repress the giggle at the rant Sebastian was about to get. You knew the signs and had been treated to many of them over your nearly twenty-seven years.

“Sebastian, honey you listen to me. If we’d had any, _any_ concerns about you we would’ve pulled Claire aside or asked her to come home and visit by herself and laid it all out, where there was no worry about you having to hear any of it or be near if she was worried. Or she’d have dropped hints or said something to either of us; she’s a smart girl. And we’ve gotten to know you, at least I’d like to think we know you a little bit – Claire obviously needs to do a better job of bringing you home more often – but I am quite sure there is not a mean bone in your body. 

“Your mother raised a good young man, and we could see it clear as day even the very first time Claire brought you home just how much you love her and care about her, how sweet you are with her, and there is no way that you would ever do the things they’re accusing you of. And honey, while I don’t condone violence I know that photographer must have done something to deserve you laying into him, because there’s no other reason you’d have laid a hand on him. Even Harry said, about the only reason he could see you doing something like that was if he attacked your relationship or attacked Claire, and he didn’t seem to have much problem with you defending either. 

“Claire wouldn’t have been across the country without you, or been able to take that last project where she has a romantic interest, if those rumours were true and you were doing those things. And she definitely wouldn’t tell us how much she misses you and hates you being so far away all the time if you were somehow doing that either. She’d have taken the opportunity to get the truth to someone or get the hell out of dodge, and we all know it. The hateful words of some jealous ass on a magazine or a website are not enough to change our opinion of you, and as long as Claire is happy with you and wants you to be her person you are part of this family until she decides otherwise, y’hear? Now I don’t want to hear you talking so bad about yourself anymore. We all know the truth, and now it’s just a matter of those people of yours figuring out how to get the truth out. And you both know if you need to get away from all that mess you can always come home here for as long as you need,” 

Sebastian was floored, and you rubbed his chest when you saw he had tears welling up in his eyes. Apparently he’d been extremely worried about your parent’s reaction. And he had not got what he’d bargained for or expected from your mother, but was obviously very touched by the sentiment. Your mother had a soft smile on her face, and you had to wonder if part of it was because this was one of the few rants of hers that _had_ been met with so much gratefulness and happiness. Usually they earned her a groan or an eye roll or something to that effect, although less so now than when you were a teenager or college student.

“I… I… god, Sandy, I can’t tell you how much that… How much I appreciate…” he sniffed, and leaned heavily on you, letting you wrap your arms around him and hold him for a moment. 

“I know honey. Now, I’m gonna let you go, because I’m sure you have people to organize and things to do. I want you two to keep in touch, and Sebastian, honey can I talk to Claire real quick? Just a few girl things you’d probably rather not hear,” she teased with a wink, and Sebastian said goodbye several times, thanking her over and over before wandering out of your room, closing the door softly behind him. 

“Mom, thank you, I… you have no idea what it means to him and to me,” you quietly told her, and saw her expression soften once again. As pushy as she could be about some of your life decisions she really was the greatest. 

“I was just going to check and make sure all _was_ okay, sweetie. I meant what I said; I don’t think there’s a mean bone in that boy’s body, especially not when it comes to you, but I just had to be able to check in with you in private to be sure,” she rationalized, and you nodded. 

“Of course. But mom you’re totally right; if either of you guys thought the smallest thing was off you’d have said so, and I wouldn’t have been able to come out here and do all this if Sebastian was being controlling or abusive or whatever the hell all they’re saying. He’s none of those things. And you know if it were the case and I was here by myself I’d have snuck on a plane and got to you guys somehow. There’s nothing to worry about, except for how Baz is handling all this. It’s a lot,” you sighed, and ran a hand through your hair. “Chace caught a red-eye out from New York when the video and pictures broke and he couldn’t get a hold of either of us to see what the hell was going on, so he and Lizzie are over here now. Baz was a mess, mom; it kills him to think that people think he’s capable of hurting me like that. And what if it ruins his career? I don’t know how to fix it.” 

“It’ll work itself out, sweetie, I swear. That man loves you more than anything else, and it’s clear as day to anybody who spends any amount of time with you two. And I wouldn’t be saying I’m not so patiently waiting for the two of you to start giving me grandbabies if I had any doubts about him,” she informed you, and made you groan. 

“Mom! So not the time for this conversation,” you gently reprimanded her, but knew that as true as it was she’d only brought it up to try and make you laugh or smile. 

“Just saying. Now you go spend some time with your boy and make sure he’s okay; if you need anything just call. I love you sweetie,” 

“Love you too Mom; say hi to Dad for me and let him know there’s nothing to worry about? Just in case he had any doubts?” you asked, and she nodded. 

“Of course Claire. Talk to you later,” 

“Bye mom,” 

With that you disconnected the call and began sifting through the mass of texts and emails. You sent a mass text out to your AoS coworkers; co-stars, techs, hair and makeup team, letting them know that yes, the video had gone around and you guys knew about it. That Sebastian had snapped with what the guy had said – and conveniently left out of the video he posted – and had swung at him. That when the guy retaliated Sebastian fought back, and felt awful and guilty about how he handled the situation. You then also made sure to mention that nothing else circulating was true; he’d never hurt you, _would_ never hurt you, and wasn’t controlling or whatever else, and that if anybody had issues with what you were saying to feel free to talk to you, but that Sebastian was understandably having a rough time and you’d appreciate everybody not adding more to his plate. 

In response you received an overwhelming amount of love and support; in text messages, Instagram DM’s, sound clips, and snapchats; everybody wishing you two the best and hoping it all got straightened out and that Sebastian’s career wouldn’t be jeopardized because of it. You saved all of it to be able to show him later, to remind him that the right people cared and weren’t listening to the bullshit. 

Then it was fielding the other Marvel co-stars; the people who’d become amazing friends and almost family who were obviously concerned about getting to the truth of the matter and making sure you guys were okay and wondering if they needed to step in, but making sure to check in with you first and get to the truth of the story before doing or saying anything. You spent some time replying to Anthony, Scarlett, Robert, Jeremy, Colby, Hayley Atwell, and Chris Hemsworth, even shooting Tom Holland a quick explanatory text, and fielding their conversations for a few minutes to give them the low down. Scarlett was already on the phone with her team, prepared to give a statement that she’d spoken with you and that these rumours were false and slanderous; that she’d known Sebastian personally for years and that she’d seen your relationship first hand, and that there had never been any elements of abuse or wrestling for control there. You were nearly in tears as you thanked her over and over, and soon the support was pouring in from the rest of the cast, everybody eager to help or speak up in support of you. 

But when you saw Chris’s – Chris Evans’s - texts, a slew of them, your heart dropped. He was angry; his messages full of misspelled words, and you could tell something was off. Maybe he’d been drinking already, or was still nursing alcohol in his system from the night before. But either way none of it could end well. He was going on about being worried he’d been right, when he’d mentioned it to you over a month ago when you’d picked him up from that party; of how Sebastian never ‘let you go anywhere’ or ‘you two never do things’ and how he knew you’d liked to be out and social and he’d known something was off. Then he switched gears completely to how worried he was you weren’t okay, that if Sebastian had so much as laid a finger on you he’d take him down, and you shook your head as you scrolled through the erratic messages, noting the way he jumped from one idea to the other. You just hoped he hadn’t tried to message Sebastian any of this.

Instead you answered Scott’s two texts – the first asking if you were okay and if you needed anything to not hesitate to call him, the second must have been after seeing or reading something about this alleged abuse, because he wanted to check in, maybe take you somewhere for coffee – alone – to talk, just in case you needed a safe space where you could say anything you had to get off your chest. He was literally such a sweetheart, so you quickly answered that you two were okay, just shaken up and upset at the allegations, that they were _only_ allegations and that you promised you were fine, happy, and safe, and that Sebastian had never done any of those things. When he replied that he was glad to hear it and relieved, still suggesting getting together for coffee sometime to catch up, you couldn’t help but smile a little bit. After letting him know you thought it sounded great, you quickly mentioned that Scott might want to check in on his big brother, who obviously had immediately taken offense to what he’d read, so that Scott could intervene before he said something to Sebastian or god forbid any kind of media source. Immediately Scott let you know he was on it, going to drag his brother over to his place for a movie afternoon where he could keep tabs on him. In response you sent him a little heart emoji and got one back, before going back to your kitchen to rejoin everybody. 

“Hey, everything okay draga?” Sebastian asked, having perked up a little since speaking with his mother and your mom, and you nodded. 

“Yeah, more or less. Fielded everybody from AoS, and most of the Marvel cast we’ve worked with; everybody knows it’s false, and everybody’s super supportive babe. You need to take a look through these messages,” you told him, handing over your phone with a kiss to his cheek before you were sifting through the donuts to find one you wanted. Thankfully your appetite had returned now that you knew the people who mattered were all on the right side of the equation. Sebastian excused himself from the table, wandering toward the balcony with your phone in hand.

“Mom and dad knew the articles were bullshit and have been letting everybody who’s talked to them know it, which is nice,” you announced, making Lizzie and Chace snort and grin. Lizzie had a pretty good idea of how your parents operated, so her amusement was evident.

“That’s good! Your mom’s still really pushing for those grandbabies isn’t she?” Lizzie teased, and Chace’s eyes nearly popped out of his head while you groaned. Chace had laid off of any teasing about babies after the two of you had talked about your fears over it, so when some mention came up he was usually a little off-guard. Sebastian was leaning against the living room wall, going through all of the messages and emailing Donna, before he took an actual bite of his donut, which helped ease a tiny bit of your concern for him. He seemed to be oblivious to your conversation, thankfully, because he would get embarrassed and then upset because of what was currently happening.

“No way! Your mom’s all over that too? Jesus, all Etta can _talk_ about is wondering when you two are going to announce something big, and I don’t think she cares whether it’s a ring or a baby or whatever. At this point she might even want the baby announcement _first_ ,” Chace grinned, and you let your forehead hit the table lightly. 

“Oh god, lay off, okay? My parents are bad enough…” 

“But seriously? Your parents were good about it?” 

“Yeah they were; they made a good point. Mom said anybody who knows Baz would know he’s not capable of doing something like that, and that if she and Dad had even the tiniest doubts about him they’d have said something or found a way to check in with me. They uh, well they kind of know the signs; my aunt was in a really abusive relationship in her early twenties and they’re both pretty apt to spot things when they’re off after helping her through that. And like mom said; she wouldn’t be hoping for the two of us to have kids if they were worried about him,” you rolled your eyes at that, making Chace laugh and Lizzie grin and you realized Sebastian had probably heard what you’d said as he wandered back over. 

“Aw babe, your mom loves me; I think even your Dad likes the idea of us having kids someday. Even if he’ll have to shoot me for ‘defiling his daughter’ to do so,” he teased back, and you swatted playfully at his arm before he leaned down beside you, wrapped an arm around your shoulders and kissed your cheek. “It’s nice to know I have the parental stamp of approval.” 

“Good, but now you have to deal with my parents,” you grinned, kissing him properly before he handed your phone back over to you and sat down properly while your friends chuckled at your expense.

“That’s okay; they’re really sweet draga. And please let everybody know I really appreciate them all being so wonderful,” he quietly told you, and you nodded, letting your thumb softly stroke his cheek. 

“Of course babe. Why don’t we all sit on some softer chairs?” you suggested, the four of you moving to the living room. Lizzie turned on Netflix, too scared to chance the news in case anything triggering came up while you texted back and forth with your PR person and Sebastian’s to try and come up with a plan of action. 

“Um, I want you to look at a couple things,” Sebastian quietly mumbled, following as you came back to the kitchen for another cup of coffee. He slid his phone over to you, and you picked it up before unlocking the screen. Something like ten texts, all lengthy, from Chris were there, and you grimaced. 

“Jesus Christ…” 

“Yeah… and you haven’t even read them yet,” he sighed, hands on the edge of the counter top and he let his head hang down. “Basically about how I’m a fucking asshole who deserves to rot in hell if I so much as touched a hair on your head, and that he should’ve known from the get go that I was no good for you; that seeing how poorly I dealt with the breakup with Rita should’ve been a good indication that I don’t have a good headspace and that it would be toxic for you. That he couldn’t believe I’d hurt you after ‘weaselling my way into your relationship with him’ and acting like a lovesick puppy dog always texting and calling you or inviting you to New York even though you were supposed to be with him and that if he sees me he’s going to punch my lights out. You know, standard stuff,” 

You stood there shocked, before flicking through the messages to see that Sebastian was not exaggerating one bit. 

“God, this is ridiculous. I should call him and give him a goddamn piece of my mind… he has no right to say any of this to you and he _knows_ you would never do that,” you seethed, and Sebastian looked surprised as he looked over at you. 

“You’re… angry?” 

“Angry? Baz, honey I’m livid right now. This is awful; it’s cruel and it’s mean and it’s spiteful and you don’t deserve any of it, especially not from him,” you said, and then methodically deleted all of said awful messages from Chris off of his phone. “You do not need that kind of negativity in your life, babe. And from what I got for messages, he was probably drunk when he sent them; his texting was all weird. So I don’t know if he got drunk last night being upset about it and then texted or what, but I gave Scott a heads up so he’s going to deal with his brother for me. I love you, okay?” you told him, putting his phone down and then cupping his cheeks to kiss him properly. He was hesitant at first and then kissed you back, lips moving deftly over yours before he let himself relax a little and get a little closer, tongue teasing lightly at your lips before you deepened the kiss. 

“I love you too,” he mumbled against your mouth, eyes still closed, eye lashes dark against his cheeks before you kissed him again. His lips were a little dry and chapped, thanks to having been worrying them for the past hour or so, but you hoped that knowing there was support for the two of you would help relieve some of his anxiety and stress.

“Okay, now let’s go figure out the press release bullshit and then have a quiet afternoon with Lizzie and Chace, okay?” you suggested, and he nodded, face still cupped between your palms. 

“Okay,” 

“We’ll get through this and figure it out Baz, I promise,” you assured him, and finally he opened his eyes, giving you a soft smile. 

“As long as I have you it’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to, iubit,” he softly replied, and kissed your palm before taking the hand you offered and letting you lead him to the loveseat to curl up and watch TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD WE'RE AT 50 CHAPTERS! So crazy!
> 
> For those of you also in Canada- happy Canada day! I was going to post yesterday but my week has been an utter shit show... so yeah. Happy fun times (not really but I'm working on it) I also got to see the movie Tag last weekend and it was hilarious (gotta love some Jeremy Renner being a bad ass lol. 
> 
> So I really hope you guys like the chapter! And thanks SO SO much for all of the amazing comments I've been receiving - I love hearing from everybody!
> 
> And just to throw it out there, I _am_ going to be at Wizard World Chicago, so if anybody wants to say hi I'm totally down for that! :D 
> 
> Happy weekend everybody!


	51. Chapter 51

“Um… what is this?” Sebastian asked. You’d been informed that your parents were flying out to LA to visit, since the metaphorical shit storm of Sebastian ‘attacking’ the photographer and the subsequent accusations of him being abusive had continued to pick up intensity and didn’t seem to be going away any time soon. Every entertainment news show, station, and media outlet was splashing the most awkward pictures of the two of you they could find, and even legitimate news sources were mentioning the accusations and commenting. It was eating Sebastian alive, and he was scared to leave the apartment for fear of being called out or approached. And to compensate he was nearly pushing you out the door to spend time with Lizzie or the rest of the girls or _whoever_ so that you weren’t stuck cooped up too or giving the paparazzi anymore fodder for their stupid stories. 

However, after the two of you had picked up your mom and dad, dropped them off at your apartment, and then offered to go grocery shopping and run a few errands – partly to get Sebastian out of the small space and because it needed to be done – they’d declined to come along with you. Which was fine; so the two of you had left, giving your parents time to relax and settle in, and when the two of you had returned Etta had somehow magically joined them in your living room. Which, of course you were both glad to see her, but it felt like something was off. And everybody knew from the way the two of you stood awkwardly just inside the door trying to assess the situation.

“Sebik! Is that any way to greet your mother?” she gently and teasingly reprimanded him before he pulled her in for a tight hug, holding her an extra moment or two before letting her go and she turned to give you the same treatment. Sebastian chuckled and took the grocery bags from your hands to start putting things away while Etta held you for dear life. 

“Seba, honey just put the things away that need refrigerated. We uh, we need to talk to you,” she suggested, and Sebastian froze, arm outstretched as he put a box of Oreos away in the cupboard. They were a guilty pleasure food for both of you and with all of the stress you’d caved and bought the biggest box you could find.

“Mama?” he asked, sounding just as worried as you felt, and you hurried to help him, planting a long, firm kiss to his lips while you were still sort of out of sight behind the cupboards, helping him put away the few perishables, and then going to join your parents. It was the first time the three of them had met, and things were made even more awkward by the fact no introductions had to be made. 

“So, sweetheart, we just…” your mom tried to begin, but looked to your dad for support. He merely shrugged his shoulders and fiddled with his ball cap, looking like this conversation was the last place on earth he currently wanted to be. That wasn’t a good sign, and seeing the sheer amount of nervousness radiating from your mother and Sebastian’s didn’t settle any of your worries either.

“Mama why does this feel like some kind of TV intervention?” Sebastian wondered aloud, and all three parents collapsed in on themselves a little. A god-awfully terrible sign if you’d ever seen one. 

Then it clicked. 

“Oh no, you aren’t…” you trailed off, reaching and taking Sebastian’s hand to squeeze it tightly, pulling some support from him while you spoke. The déjà vu had hit you, being sat down in your parents living room about to get the lecture on why Jacob wasn’t a good guy to be around and that you shouldn’t date him, from back in your first year of college. This whole situation had the very same feelings attached. “This is ridiculous. We’re adults. You know there’s no issue…” 

It was then you saw the light bulb turn on for your boyfriend, who gasped audibly before wrapping himself around you as good as he could manage without worrying it would be inappropriate in front of your parents. “Mama _no_ ; you guys can’t honestly believe we shouldn’t be together. I… I just… we all… even after… Mama I _love_ her; she’s my everything.” 

His whispered words brought tears to both of your mothers’ eyes, before they seemed to steel themselves. Like they knew and believed every word he was saying but somehow didn’t at the same time, to a point that they needed to argue it and continue with whatever had obviously been discussed between your parents.

“We aren’t saying that the two of you aren’t in love, Sebastian… honey, it’s just… there’s been a lot going on for both of you and… and we’re concerned that you two aren’t okay. And that the _way_ you’re tackling this together maybe isn’t the healthiest way to deal with it,” your mom explained, wringing her hands together. “We just wanted to bring up to you… that maybe the two of you should take a couple months; figure some things out for yourselves, be in better places, and then work on being together again. That it might be easier and healthier to have that space to be selfish and work on individual things before, you know, throwing yourselves back into being together.” 

A break. A goddamn, high-school style break from each other. At almost twenty-seven and almost thirty-five. 

“That’s ridiculous. Do you think we aren’t capable of figuring this out together?” you asked, and your dad sighed. 

“Short-stuff, it’s not that we don’t think you’re capable of doing it together; I mean, just _look_ at the shit-storms the two of you have weathered already and come out the other side. We just think… that while maybe you’re more than capable of it that it isn’t the healthiest option right now. The _best_ option,” he explained, and Sebastian’s heart was nearly pounding through his chest, you could feel it where he’d pressed himself partially against your back and your side. 

“So you’re saying… you’re saying I’m not healthy for her?” he softly asked, and you watched your mother’s heart break in her expression. Obviously they had believed they’d had a good way to approach this situation but hadn’t put too much thought into how it would be interpreted from the other side of the table, and you squeezed Sebastian tight and pecked his cheek in solidarity. Your dad looked defeated and out of place, and when you looked to him he simply shrugged his shoulders. He’d been tugged along for the ride to give a supported showing on the parental side, you were sure. If your dad had ever had the slightest inclination that you shouldn’t have been with Sebastian he’d have called and given you a piece of his mind, without a second thought.

“Oh Sebastian, honey, believe me; we’re very supportive. We love you; you’re a wonderful young man and you make Claire so, so happy. We’re just saying that maybe the two of you need to take a step back for your own personal health so that you can take care of yourselves before you go back to just worrying about taking care of each other, because we all know that’s what both of you tend to do,” she told him, and he swallowed hard, before you felt him square his shoulders just slightly.

“Look, Mrs. MacAdams… I… I get it, I do,” Sebastian started, voice shaking a little. “Claire’s your guys’ world, and you want to make sure she’s okay. But she’s mine too. And we… we spend so much time apart as it is because we have _no choice_ , I’m sorry but I don’t see the logic in making us do it just because. Like, like Claire said; we’re adults, we can figure this out. We will figure this out. Together.” 

Etta reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, making him turn to look at her without her saying a word. Blue eyes that were so, so much like her son’s swept over the two of you, a little watery and a little red, but you felt it in your stomach that somehow she truly _believed_ that being apart was somehow best for you. The woman who teased you relentlessly about when you were going to announce having Sebastian’s baby; the woman who teased her own son until he was so red in the face he couldn’t stand it about when he was going to drop to one knee and propose. Somehow she thought this was good for you, which made no sense.

Instead she cupped Sebastian’s cheek, the way you could easily picture her having done since he was a toddler, and sighed. “Seba, draga mea, you know how I feel. You know I’ve wanted you to put a ring on Claire’s finger since the first time I met her, but… but I think Sandy and Harry are right. I think you two might need a little time and a little space. I know, I _know_ you get forced to spend so much time apart and how hard it is on you, but I also know how stressful it is to try and keep in touch the way the two of you do. Maybe some alone time is really the way to go. So that the two of you can come back together even stronger and maybe… maybe ready for those things you talk about having in the future.” 

The tears were hot in the corners of your eyes and you stared at the carpet beneath your feet instead of at your parents. How could they be saying something like this, not even two weeks after having voiced incredible support for Sebastian and your relationship? It felt like the people who were supposed to support you were stabbing you in the back, and you couldn’t believe they could ever do such a thing. 

“You guys do realize, on top of how awful it would be for the two of us, that they’ll tear him apart if we split,” you whispered, and Sebastian tensed again beside you, not that he’d been properly relaxed the entire time anyway. “Every outlet will spin it that the media blowout gave me the opportunity to leave and they’ll destroy him. Rip his reputation to shreds any way they can.” 

“Draga that’s minor, that’s not my biggest co—”

“It should be, Baz! That’s your job, your livelihood, your _dream_ , and it’ll be ruined and over because of something that isn’t true! That could be irreparable! How awful would that be?” you shot back, cutting him off. He looked down at your hands intertwined, and shrugged. The way he was nonchalantly taking this in just didn’t sit right with you; because you _knew_ how much all of this meant to him and how hard he had worked to get to this place in his career. It didn’t add up for him to say it wasn’t his biggest concern.

“It could be worse. I could lose you for good,” he whispered, and your heart broke before your buried your face against his chest and then nuzzled up beneath his chin, not caring that your parents were sitting just a few feet away and watching. 

“Baz…” 

“It’s the truth,” he insisted, just loud enough for you to hear as he held you tight. His large paw of a hand was soft and gentle on your back, rubbing small circles in an attempt to be comforting and supportive. How you’d ever got so lucky with him you’d never know.

“You really think that boy isn’t going to do whatever it takes to take care of her and get through this? You heard ‘im, Sandy; he’d give it all up for her, and I’d bet that Claire feels the same way about him,” your dad argued, and you heard both your mother and Etta sigh. Apparently your dad had been wrangled into this against his will; he usually liked to stay away from the relationship stuff. He liked Sebastian good and well; they got along, visited about sports and whatever other ‘guy’ things, but aside from that your dad had always preferred to be at arm’s length from this sort of stuff. Unless he had an incredibly strong opinion, then it was loud and clear.

“Sometimes I worry that’s part of the problem; Sebik’s always been so driven and driven for _this_. He’s not the kind to just let what he wants slip out of his fingers,” Etta explained, and Sebastian let out a huff. He turned his narrowed gaze to his mother, and while it softened to hardly frustrated – because he loved her so much – his eyes never lost their intensity.

“This isn’t letting what I want slip out of my fingers, Ma; this is making sure my _future_ doesn’t slip out of my fingers. It’s her, Mama; it’s Claire I’m going to marry and settle down with and raise a family with. What my _job_ is isn’t going to be the defining factor of our life together. I got to do things I wasn’t sure would ever happen; I’ve been able to be in movies and shows and act and more than pay my bills doing it. That’s more than a lot of people can say. I can always act in some capacity; maybe just not for a career, but I’ll never _lose_ it. Not the way you’re asking me to chance losing her. Is that honestly what you think is best for us? For me? For me to lose that future? To lose my partner and future family?” he argued, and you felt a few tears slip out and into the hem of his t-shirt, even as you tried to hide them from the audience of parents. 

“Seba…” 

“Just… please. We aren’t interested in taking a break for the sake of being apart. We’ll… if it’ll make you guys happy we’ll keep it on the table to talk about, with each other, but otherwise… can it not be brought up again?” he asked, nearly begged, and after sharing a concerned look that told both of you it clearly _would_ be brought up again in some manner, they nodded. The two of you leaned hard against each other, as if by osmosis somehow you could pull and give strength. An awkward silence filled the modest-sized living room, and after a minute or so you cleared your throat and got up, inconspicuously giving his elbow a slight tug so he would follow. 

“We’re just gonna, uh, finish putting away those groceries,” you announced, as if it were necessary, and were met with some mumbles of approval from your parents. After shaking off Etta’s offer to help, the two of you returned to the kitchen. Not really out of sight; simply behind the couch and the few cabinets over the counter top that separated the two spaces, you wrapped each other up tight. Sebastian’s warm breath floated over the top of your head from where he’d tucked you beneath his chin, his heart still pounding against his chest as he tried to get himself under control. Your body had finally caught up to your brain and you took a shaky breath, sliding your hands beneath his t-shirt to feel his skin, wanting as much contact as close with him as was possible.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” he whispered, so quietly you almost didn’t hear it. You nodded then, his chin moving softly with your movement, before you pressed a whisper-soft kiss to his neck. 

“Me either. It’s ridiculous; we aren’t two high school kids causing shit. We’re adults; we’re moving in together… I just don’t…” 

Softly he quieted you, pressing kisses wherever he could in an attempt to calm you and help you keep your emotions under control. Thankfully, due to the apartment being a one bedroom and your parents not being fans of air mattresses, you’d have the apartment to yourselves tonight. Then any breaking down, getting angry, or whatever happened to hit the two of you could happen with the privacy of just having each other around. 

“I know draga, I know. Te iubesc,” he mumbled, before slowly reaching around you to start actually putting groceries away. 

“Te iubesc puiut,” you answered, and began helping him. Thankfully one of your parents had turned on the television so there was now some sound to help mask the god awful awkward silence filling the apartment. 

Once groceries were put away you leaned with your back against the counter top, simply watching Sebastian’s lithe form as he reached to put a cereal box in the cupboard above the fridge. His t-shirt rode up, exposing the waistband of a black pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs, and he looked amazing, as per usual. His hair was a little long and getting, as you and Lizzie liked to say, ‘floofy’ – where it wasn’t quite ready to wave but wouldn’t lie down flat against his head, and once he’d closed the cupboard and turned, catching you watching him, he got a sly smile on his face. In three short strides he was in front of you, palms on the counter beside yours, trapping you in with his body and leaning slightly so he was in your space. Not that you were complaining. 

His eyes had regained some of their spark; the blue bright and icy and somehow so full of warmth that they weren’t intimidating even being so pale in colour. It was easier, being this close, to notice the few creases in his forehead that were slowly becoming more prominent due to stress, a few smile lines around his eyes. He was nearly two weeks into a beard now, his little patch of grey hairs just to the right of his chin beginning to be more visible. All these tiny little details that made him so wonderfully human and so wonderfully _yours_ , that you couldn’t stand to think of giving up. 

“Te iubesc, Baz,” you whispered, and he leaned in so close you could feel his breath, warm and enticing against your skin. He sent a small shiver down your spine, face mere inches from yours, eyes half-closed, lashes dark against his skin, before he cocked a little smirk onto his lips at your purely physical reaction to him. 

“Si eu te iubesc,” he replied, before closing the distance and kissing you. It was powerful, arousing; his plush lips covered yours, his tongue hot and demanding. You simply tilted your head back a little and let him in as he devoured you, making energy sing through your system as his mouth owned yours. When he pulled away, just a few millimeters for a breath, your legs nearly gave out from underneath you and you surged forward to take his lips for your own. 

“Easy draga, we have company,” he mumbled, before his fingertips were slowly tracing up your right arm, raising goose bumps before he outlined your collarbone, drew up your throat and then stroked your bottom lip with his thumb. “But I’ll take care of you tonight, draga, don’t you worry.” 

His words were so quiet you almost missed them in his effort to make sure they didn’t fall on any ears they weren’t supposed to. In response you nodded minutely, and then parted your lips to suck his thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue suggestively over the digit before letting it go. His pupils became pinpricks before blooming and consuming the ice blue, and you saw the way he bit his bottom lip and sucked in a harsh breath. 

“I’ll hold you to it,” you whispered, and kissed his palm once more before pushing off of the counter top, which in turn pressed you tight against his body. He gripped you close for a moment, crowding himself against you before he kissed your temple and took two steps back, giving both of you a little space to catch your breath. 

“So, uh… dinner? Anybody have any suggestions?” you called out, and saw all three parents jump a little at your words. In an attempt to ‘ignore’ the two of you to give you some privacy they’d all become hyper focused on the television, and as they went to answer the headline on the news caught the entire apartment’s attention.

_“Just two weeks ago, this video surfaced of Marvel actor and star Sebastian Stan attacking a photographer in Los Angeles. While some reports and poor quality videos indicate that the star was, in fact, provoked to some extent, the questions haven’t faded into the background. With little to no provocation Stan swung at the photographer, punching him in the face, as you can see in this clip. After appearing to be satisfied with that and a few choice words, his confirmed girlfriend and Marvel co-star Claire MacAdams seemed to have convinced him to get in the vehicle to leave. However, after a shot from the photographer in self-defence, Stan returned to the altercation until the two men were pulled apart by innocent bystanders. While no formal charges have been laid as of yet, there is talk of an assault charge being a possibility for the actor._

 _The bigger story, however, isn’t the fact of the fight but the cause for it. We’ve been informed that the statements that provoked the fight were about Stan and his girlfriend, and his alleged treatment of her. This has led to accusations of abuse and control to begin circulating, as the pair hasn’t been seen together out and about publicly – or on either of their social media pages – in months. Everyone’s largest concern is whether or not new Hollywood darling MacAdams, who hails from Lancaster, Ohio, is in danger of an abusive relationship with the much older Stan. With an 8 year age difference between the two actors, who met on the set of Marvel’s Avengers nearly three years ago, it would be easy to see MacAdams being sucked into the fabulous Hollywood lifestyle that Stan leads. Having been in several blockbuster films over the past few years; the Oscar winning_ The Martian _and nominated_ I, Tonya _to name a few aside from the_ Captain America _and_ Avengers _franchises, it could be easy to disguise such behaviours as part of the Hollywood machine. Now we go to Dr. Langenbrun, a psychiatrist from the UCLA Medical Centre to talk about the psychological effect of controlling and abusive relationships, and how to spot the signs. Doctor—_

Sebastian changed the channel, making everybody jump slightly. You wrapped your arms around your middle, watching him carefully for any warning signs of a panic attack. Seeing that bullshit was awful, let alone how terrible it must have been for him to see and hear them talking about him like that. Instead he just looked frustrated, and ran a hand through his hair, which made it stand up instead of taming it the way he’d obviously hoped. 

“I just… sorry I can’t listen to that,” he apologized, as if there were any reason to. 

“No, of course Seba,” Etta cooed, and soon had gently pulled and guided him so he was sitting on the floor in front of her on the couch, and he leaned against her knees and let her finger comb through his hair the way she probably had a million times while he was growing up. It pulled on your heartstrings, seeing Sebastian so upset that he desperately needed and wanted to lean on somebody in that way without caring who else saw.

“I think… I think I’m going to talk to Kelly about doing a live statement. Maybe through Marvel’s HQ or something,” you piped up, and saw four pairs of eyes watching you carefully, one starting to water slightly with being overwhelmed at the thought. 

“What?” 

“Honey I thought you’d all decided…” 

“Short-stuff what if it makes it worse?” 

“I just… I can’t sit around and do nothing and hope they just let it drop and leave him be. It kills me,” you sighed, walking to the loveseat and sinking down onto it. In a millisecond Sebastian was in front of you, cheek leaning against your knee as he raised his hand and placed it on your calf, thumb stroking your skin in support as he looked up at you. Etta looked a little disgruntled, her son having moved out from under her gentle, calming touch in the blink of an eye, but with a small smile to your boyfriend you buried a hand in his hair and put your right hand on his shoulder, holding him. You could feel the long sigh that came from him as he relaxed into you, could feel the warmth of his skin as he pressed his cheek against your knee and the brush of his eyelashes as he closed his eyes and then slowly opened them again to look up at you.

“You sure draga? Your dad might be right, it might just create an even worse mess,” 

“But I have to try. Scarlett, she’s behind me on it. If I tell her I’m doing a statement she’ll stand up there and support me and speak to the truth too. So will Lizzie, Chloe, and Lil. And I doubt the media can write off the statements of five women completely uninhibited or unaccompanied by any male influence. It’ll stand for something. I just can’t take doing nothing anymore Baz,” you explained, and he nodded, before leaning into you a little harder. 

“If you’re sure, babe,” he allowed, and you nodded, grateful that he wouldn’t try to argue for the sake of being worried about how you would end up falling in all of this. 

“I am. And I’m also starving…” you tried to joke, but only got a small chuckle from Sebastian and some half smiles from your parents. “So, what do we want for dinner?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the big 5-1! I can't believe this story has gotten to over 50 chapters but I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to everybody for being along for the ride :) I appreciate it so much and love reading your comments!
> 
> (BTW if anyone doesn't follow OneMinuteMen on Insta... you should. Seb and Will make hilarious shorts that will crack you up!)


	52. Chapter 52

“Goddamn it, I’m sorry I love our parents but I thought they’d never leave,” Sebastian groaned the instant the two of you were back in the door with it closed and locked behind you. All three parents had hovered after dinner – a simple and impromptu chicken and pasta bake – before allowing the two of you to drive them to their hotel. They were close; it was only about a ten-minute drive, but it had felt like an eternity as you’d all crammed into the car. Thankfully, both of your mother’s were quite petite and so they hadn’t been too squished in the backseat along with your dad. Sebastian had offered several times to sit at home and wait for you to get back, but you’d been too concerned about being cornered alone with your parents in the car so had chided him into coming along too. 

He collapsed onto the couch, sprawling as far as he could before giving you a pained look. The whole night he’d been quiet, undoubtedly still unnerved by the fact your parents had essentially conspired to split the two of you up, even if it was only for a finite amount of time and not permanently. It had shaken both of you to the core. 

“I know, I feel the same way. Think we can call up Robert and pawn them off on him for an afternoon? His little guy is what, five? Ish? Surely that’ll distract them,” you suggested, making Sebastian grin before he was holding his arms out for you to come lay with him. Even though it would be on him, seeing as he’d taken up all the couch real estate for himself. While you rolled your eyes you both knew that you would cave, and he smiled when you began walking over to him.

“Hmm… I’ll see what I can do. Just know we’ll be subjecting ourselves to baby jokes from both the Downey’s in doing so,” he thought, and you raised an eyebrow before flopping down on top of him, making him grunt slightly before he wrapped his arms around you. With minimal squirming the two of you got comfy, your head just higher than his, lying on top of him and settled between his thighs, your toes hanging off the edge of the couch while he’d planted his left foot on the floor and spread out even more.

“We won’t hear the end of ‘well if you get on it now, by next year’s visit they’ll have their own grandchild to keep them entertained’ for a very long time, draga,” Sebastian smirked, before he was gently nipping and sucking at your neck. “And as much as I love the thought, we aren’t ready for that, and I don’t want to deal with that smug-ass grin of his while he brings it up at the most inopportune times. Like those two premieres we have coming up. Mackie might have an aneurysm if he hears Robert telling us to make sure we’ve got a room so I can knock you up, _solely_ so we don’t have to pawn our parents off on him to get their kid fix.” 

“Mmm… Baz…” you moaned, tilting your head to the side to give him better access as his hand slid up beneath your tank top to spread across your back. After hearing that he loved the thought but wasn’t ready you’d basically tuned out the actual words, instead just focusing on the fact his voice was so unbelievably sexy, and then the fact that his mouth and tongue were doing incredible things to the juncture of your neck and shoulder as soon as he’d stopped talking.

“Fuck baby… earlier, in the kitchen? If our parents wouldn’t have been there I’d have picked you up and fucked you right there,” his voice came out a raspy growl, and you couldn’t help the little gasp he elicited as he did so. His hands slid down to grab your ass, pulling you down to him and grinding his hips up and against yours.

“Baz, babe,” you panted, threading your fingers through his hair and then using your grip to bring his lips back up, before kissing him as hard as you could manage. He groaned into you, body going lax beneath you before you pushed off of him. A disgruntled sound left his lips, and he sat up, mouth open to protest before you tugged his shorts down. 

“Ass up,” you instructed, and too shocked to do much else he obeyed, letting you tug his shorts and underwear down to pool at his ankles, before you sunk to your knees in front of him and gently pushed his apart. 

“Jesus, Draga…” 

Any other words he may have thought about saying were lost in a moan as you took him into your mouth, still not completely hard, and he slumped against the back of the couch. His stomach heaved slightly from the harshness of his breath, and his bottom lip was between his teeth while he watched you work him over. Once he was completely erect, you let him slide out of your mouth to kiss and lick along his length, and the inside of his thighs, until you had a trembling, moaning mess of a man beneath you, whose eyes were so dark and clouded by desire that just the sight was turning you on. 

“What were you going to do to me in the kitchen?” you asked innocently, before taking him into your mouth again and sucking. He groaned, and raised a hand to play with your hair. 

“Kiss you hard enough you’d fucking moan into my mouth. Lift you up and put your pretty little ass on the counter so I could kiss you good and proper and tease you,” he panted, stopping for air as you bobbed slightly. The sight of him with his eyes half-closed, mouth hanging open slightly as his brain trailed off at the sight in front of him and being lost in the pleasure he was feeling was unbelievably sexy.

“Then?” you spoke around him, which made a shiver go down his spine hard enough that you felt it and his length twitched. For some reason he found that incredibly hot, and as you took him in deep for a moment he cried out, before slumping back against the couch with a little keen from the back of his throat.

“Then I was gonna rip those little shorts off of you, turn you around, bend you over the counter and fuck you till you screamed my name,” he finished, sounding breathless, and then it was your turn to moan. It was too easy to picture Sebastian lost in the moment like that; and to _imagine_ how it would feel to have him take you like that.

“Baz…” 

“Yeah? Want me to do that draga? Strip you down and fuck you over the kitchen counter?” he asked, pushing his hips up slightly in an invitation for you to take as much of him as you could manage. You obliged him, and whimpered at the dirty moan that was drug from his lips. With a wet, popping noise you pulled off of him again, and turned your grey eyes up to his lidded gaze. He always looked unbelievably sexy like this; like you’d unravelled some of his walls and poise and just had Sebastian raw and sensual in front of you. 

“Will you settle for fucking me over the couch?” you asked with a smirk, and those ice blue eyes flashed before he was somehow off of the couch and he hoisted you up a little. A yelp escaped you before his lips were on your neck and he was indeed undoing the button of your shorts and shoving them down. 

That achieved, he tugged your tank top over your head and stripped off his own shirt while you undid the clasp at the back of your bra. 

“Fuck, I’ll… one second,” he groaned, jogging down the hall with one hand in front of him, doing you weren’t sure what; _supporting things_ while he ran? But in an instant he returned, foil packet in hand and he was opening it on the way. He stood in front of you, his height and long legs making him nearly loom over you where you were kneeling on the floor, and you licked a stripe up his length while he fumbled to get the packet open. Or maybe caused him to fumble to get the packet open by licking him, you weren’t sure. He groaned, and handed the latex to you to roll on to him, and the second it was in place he was on his knees in front of you, kissing you hard, biting at your neck before he turned you around and ground his hips against your ass. It was enough to make you whimper with need, before you felt his fingertips brushing along your wet center. With that you let your arms rest on the couch cushion in front of you, needing a little help supporting yourself while his skilled fingers teased at you.

“Yeah? You need me draga, need me to take care of you?” he asked, voice husky and sounding unbelievably sexy. 

“Yes please,” you whimpered, and felt his large palm on the back of your neck. He didn’t grab, but softly held, and you gasped when you realized what that meant and what you were pretty sure he wanted. It wasn’t something Sebastian had ever really done; occasionally it had come up when you guys talked about things you might consider wanting to try ‘in the bedroom’ someday, but never in any concrete way. It definitely hadn't even been so much as hinted to since all of this mess had started.

“What was that draga? I couldn’t hear you,” the smirk was dripping off of his words, and you spread your knees apart a little further, making it easier for him to get his hand on you, before you swallowed hard and answered. 

“Yes please, _sir_ ,” you corrected yourself, and he groaned before he replaced his fingers with his tip, and entered you in a rough thrust. It pulled a gasp from both of you, before all the power in those thighs were at work, the sound of his hips snapping against your body mingling with the moans and gasps as he took you in a rough, hot, demanding way. 

You yelped when suddenly his hand connected with the swell of your ass; not hard, definitely not enough to hurt, but you could feel it, and then felt his palm and slightly calloused fingers soothing over the skin as he continued to take you. It wasn’t something either of you had ever discussed doing before, but strangely enough you didn’t _dislike_ it. He liked it, and didn’t like to talk about it because he got embarrassed, but when he got drunk enough he’d sometimes ask for you to give him a good spank. Maybe it was just for this moment, and you’d talk about it later, but in this instant you wanted him to own you. Devour you. Go to an extreme of the things he’d been so scared shitless of doing for the past two weeks and let him know it was okay. That he could still be himself and occupy space in your life and be a decision maker _without_ being the things the media was trying to make him out to be. 

“Baz, _sir_ ,” you purred out the title, finding it wasn’t terribly hard for it to roll off your lips, and were rewarded with a loud moan from behind you, before he was leaning over your back, the heat of him raising goose bumps along your spine and his breath hot and heavy beside your ear. 

“Are you mine, draga?” 

“All yours,” 

“That’s what I like to hear,” he kissed your neck, just below your ear then, and somehow found another gear. You had to bury your face against one of the throw pillows to help contain your scream, and instead felt Sebastian's large and gentle hand urging you to lift your head, to be vocal and let him hear it. His name poured from your lips between moans, and when he – metaphorically - pulled your body kicking and screaming over the edge to orgasm you didn’t have the willpower left to care about who might hear you scream his name. You nearly collapsed under him, a shaking, Jell-O limbed mess, and his kisses, touches, and whispers all became unbelievably tender as he wrapped himself around you and held you, hips rocking softly to help drag out the orgasm but not over-stimulate you. You were nearly in tears at how overwhelming the sensations had been and how hard of a finish he’d brought you to, struggling to get oxygen into your lungs as you held with a death grip the forearm he’d wrapped around your torso to help hold you up.

“Shh… oh my draga, I love you,” he murmured, before gently pulling out and picking you up. Too dazed to argue with him you simply looped your arms around his shoulders and snuggled into his heat as he carried you to the bedroom and carefully placed you on the bed. He then crawled over you, settled himself between your thighs and smoothly entered you with a soft moan. All earlier traces of that untameable, inextinguishable hot, raw need were gone, instead replaced with the loving tenderness he was now exhibiting. 

“I love you too Baz,” you sighed, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders to hold him while he loved you. Each stroke was filled with intention, and with almost sensuality as he gently worked you up and over again, and it was some time later when you clung to him, shaking. His name left your lips as you clenched and then came, and it wasn’t until then that he let go; a long, growling moan, a stuttering of his hips, and then he was splayed out across you, breathing hard and covered in a light sheen of sweat to match yours. 

“Oh babe,” he breathed, pulling out and rolling off to the side so you wouldn’t be squished beneath him. “That was something else.” 

“Yes it was, _sir_ ,” you hummed and watched him bite his lip as his gaze swept over you. 

“You have no idea how unbelievably hot that is. I don’t even know why it’s hot but it is,” he told you, before reaching out and cupping your cheek. His lips met yours soft and sweet, and he groaned before pushing himself up onto his elbows. 

“The only shit part about these things… when all I wanna do is snuggle…” he playfully complained, before leaning over to kiss you once again to make sure you knew he was kidding. 

“I know, I know – but the alternative?” 

“Yeah, I know; thirty seconds of snuggling is not worth six years of sleepless nights,” he rolled his eyes before shooting you a shit eating grin and chuckling as he got up to go take care of the condom. You shook your head at his playfulness, surprised by it after all that had transpired. Usually kid jokes freaked both of you the fuck out, you for the obvious reasons and Sebastian because of how you might react, and here they’d come up a few times in the past few weeks with minimal if no panic or anxiety from either of you. The two of you had been working very hard to find your groove – or a new one, you weren’t picky – in you working, Sebastian working out in the gym in the basement, talking to his therapist and manager and team to still work on smoothing things out, and it had been good. He’d even braved the grocery store two days ago before doing it again today. They were baby steps to normal but they were there and they were humungous to the two of you and getting your lives back. Talk of plans for your birthdays, the premieres, and then the ever-elusive time off were helping you goal-set and give something more to work toward. It had been amazing. 

“So… tomorrow… think they’re going to try some kind of plan b attack? Separate us and go in for the kill?” Sebastian asked as he hopped onto the bed, making you giggle and shriek a little as you were bounced up. He grinned over before wrapping himself around you, wiggling his butt just because he knew you’d squirm a little at the sensation of his skin tickling at yours. 

“I’m worried about it, yeah. And worried that they’re going to want to be out and about and… and I don’t know how that’ll go,” you admitted, and Sebastian sighed before adjusting so that he was lying on his back and had partially pulled you onto his chest, mostly tucked in against his side but able to rest your head over his steady heartbeat. 

“We’ll deal with it and figure it out. And, if you think going on some show or whatever and making a statement is what you want, draga I’m behind you one hundred percent,” he told you, softly rubbing your arm and making you smile. 

“Thanks Baz. That means a lot,” 

“It means a lot to me that you’d do it, so we’re even,” he decided with a kiss to the crown of your head, before he relaxed, softly massaging your back and his right hand resting on your forearm. 

“So, uh… fuck… I don’t want to bring it up because we just… well… you know what. It’ll wait till morning,” he decided, striking your interest even though he had basically monologued himself. 

“What?” 

“No, please don’t. It’ll wait; I promise. I just want to snuggle and love you,” he argued playfully, nuzzling you and making you laugh. 

“Okay, I guess I can live with that. So, this premiere, Mr. Stan… got a date yet?” you batted your eyelashes at him and he hummed for a moment. 

“Well, I’ve got some prospects; I wouldn’t say I have a sure thing yet,” he said, and you gasped before lightly pinching his tummy. He nearly shrieked, high-pitched as all get out as he tried to get away from your fingers before putting his hands up in surrender.

“You asked! Okay, you’ve got me! There’s this girl…” he trailed off, and you stifled another giggle. 

“Go on…” 

“She’s amazing. Like lights up the whole damn room when she walks in. Great smile, she’s built – like Victoria’s Secret built – and I’ve got a pretty good idea that she thinks I’m hot,” he continued, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Oh you do, do you?” 

“Yeah, I’ve caught her checking me out a few times. She’s a big up and coming star, Marvel signed her to a big contract… she’s a little out of my league but I’m gonna do my best. Maybe I’ll even get lucky at the end of the night; it is a pretty big premiere and all,” he broke and started chuckling, making you join in and laugh at his ridiculousness. 

“Well Baz, how about this. You wear one of those sexy all-black suits you slay in and I’ll let you take me home after the premiere and have your way with me,” you suggested, drawing the tip of your index finger along his bare chest and making him shiver. 

“Done. Done. Want me to wear black underwear and socks too? Just to be safe? I can dye my hair too if you really want,” he immediately blurted, making you grin before you kissed him again. 

“Socks, yes, or you’ll look like a clown. Underwear is your call. And as sexy as I think you’d look with black hair…” you let a little bit of rasp crawl back into your voice and he keened. 

“Yeah? You’d like me with real dark hair?” 

“Babe I like you no matter what you do to your hair; you look like a god. I also quite enjoy those pictures of you blonde,” you told him, and he grimaced. 

“I’m Not Here blonde or…” 

“You know what, I don’t even hate Talk Show Radio blonde. Makes me want to take you home and prove I can make a good boy out of you,” you purred, and he groaned, shifting uncomfortably and squirming just a little. 

“Goddamn it. I’m too old for that hair now… you might have to settle for I’m Not Here blonde. Do you know how ridiculous I would look if I bleached it all like that now?” 

“I think you could still pull it off,” you decided, letting your eyes wander his face and trying to imagine Sebastian as he was now; with more of a James Dean, rough and slick but somehow still refined kind of appearance, rather than the rough around the edges, slightly punk-rock party boy he’d definitely looked like in his mid twenties with bleached blonde locks. “But I’m not sure what everybody else would think.” 

“It wasn’t good then, it won’t be good now. I started wearing skinny jeans because of that hair. I had to figure out a whole new style to not look ridiculous,” he complained. 

“Well thank the lord for that hair because your ass in skinny jeans? Babe I just want to peel them right back off,” you informed him, and he kissed you, tongue teasing and flicking at yours. 

“Damn it babe, you know I need more recoup time than this, but he’s putting in a good effort,” he whined a moment later, and you slid your hand down his body to find he was right, and his member was making a valiant effort toward getting hard again hardly ten minutes after having finished. 

“Poor boy,” you cooed, cupping his cheek and kissing him. “Want me to lay off for a while?” 

“No… but maybe. It’s so uncomfortable,” he replied, and you slid your hand back up to a much more respectable place on his chest while he sighed. 

“Sorry to be a party pooper babe. I’m going to be thirty-five right away… I’m not as good as I once was darling,” he heaved a big, over dramatic sigh, and you looked up at him. 

“Don’t be ridiculous Baz; we both know you only get better with age. Ten bucks you were a two pump chump back at twenty five,” you teased, and watched his face turn fire engine red before he was sputtering, not sure whether to be embarrassed or humoured or offended. 

“Excuse me? You couldn’t have _handled_ this when I was twenty five,” he shot back, and you grimaced, playing it up hard. 

“I’d sure hope not. I would’ve been like seventeen,” 

“Ew… Ew, babe, no, don’t… ugh… you can’t… gross…” he whined, shuddering slightly and making a face at you. “Way to ruin it. Now we can’t ever have sex again. I hope you’re happy with yourself.” 

“What? Baz, no… that’s not fair!” 

“Well you shouldn’t have said it!” 

“We both know you’re older and have been our entire lives!” you cried, and he chuckled. 

“Yeah, I _know_ that, but you can’t make minor jokes like that! Because you realise the year I lost my virginity you were like… ten years old? That’s just… that’s kind of fucked up to say out loud,” he explained, and with a sad nod you agreed. It was weird. It didn’t make being together now weird, but it was weird. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” 

“And to call me a two pump chump on top of it? Just rude. You can two pump chump yourself for a while,” he teased with a poke to your ribs, and you gasped at him. 

“How ‘bout you can two pump chump _yourself_ for that?” you shot back, and he scowled a little. 

“That’s no fair,” 

“If I’m doing it so are you,” you shrugged, and then snuggled in. “Have fun the next few weeks babe. I’ll make sure to wear all my nicest underwear just for you.” 

“You’re cruel. Evil mastermind level cruel,” he lamented before wrapping his arms back around you. The two of you laid there in silence for a while, just breathing and enjoying each other, before he cleared his throat. 

“Just to be clear… you _are_ kidding about that part… right?” 

“Maybe…” you hummed, and he groaned. 

“I was _not_ a two pump chump, just for posterity, so you know. But I would really prefer to not have to abstain from the most amazing woman on the planet while we have another two weeks together and then we’re apart until my birthday,” he whined, and you pushed yourself up to kiss him. 

“You just won some points. Now you’re back in the good books,” you told him, making him snort and chuckle but snuggle in closer. 

“Good. That’s where I like to stay,” 

“That’s where I like you to be,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait between chapters! Here's a little bit of happier Claire and Seb in the midst of the craziness they're experiencing - let me know what you think! :)


	53. Chapter 53

*WARNING: Sexual Content at the beginning of the chapter - if you want to skip it, there's a break in text partway through that'll separate it from the rest of the chapter!

 

“Claire! Claire! Is there any truth to the rumours circulating? Is Sebastian controlling? Is he abusive? Do you need professionals to intervene? Are you in danger?” 

The paparazzi were overwhelming, and had been the last two weeks while you commuted back and forth to work. They crowded the entrance to the film lot, shouting, even putting themselves in the way of the car so you would have to stop and they could try to force a statement. It was awful and usually resulted in security coming and removing them so you could get to your job. That had happened five or six times already in the last two weeks. And that meant you being upset and overwhelmed and needing the comfort of Sebastian holding you to calm you down. Even your parents had quickly learned to give you the space to let Sebastian help you get a handle on your emotions, which had surprised you after the whole reason they’d come out in the first place. They’d also become quieter about it, maybe having realized and seen first hand the way you and Sebastian needed and supported each other through things.

You nearly had to bite your tongue to keep from snapping at the reporters flocking around the car again. But the actual press conference was in four hours; Scarlett had flown out, the girls had all prepared little statements to be up there with you for it. Your parents and Etta had flown back east a few days ago, and Sebastian was waiting at home for you, probably nervous as all hell, because you wanted to shower and get ready at home before heading to the small conference room where the press conference would be. There was some talk on set that Kevin Feige might even show up, if he wasn’t too concerned his presence would have the same effect that Sebastian’s might. You knew how important it was, however, to keep your shit together and save everything for the press conference. 

It had been carefully organized with your team, Sebastian’s, and a few key Marvel HR personnel, and while your parents and Etta were still concerned it wasn’t the right call hadn’t tried to keep you from doing it. Thankfully. While they were still in the city they had brought up the whole ‘break’ idea a few more times, but both of you had shut down any talk of it before anybody could get more upset. And to make things even better, Sebastian had somehow talked RDJ into taking your parents off of your hands for an afternoon so that the two of you had time together alone before all of this conference craziness.

You kept your eyes straight ahead as you drove and navigated the traffic home, sprinting up and into the apartment and bee-lining for your boyfriend where he sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a newspaper, looking sexy as sin wearing nothing but his boxer briefs, even though it was noon. 

“Hey babe, things go okay?” he asked, peaking up over the top of the paper at you. 

“They were good. Nowhere near as good as when I got home though,” you smirked, kissing him hard before tugging at the waistband of his underwear. He groaned into your mouth and dropped his paper onto the table in favour of wrapping his hands up in your hair. 

“Claire… draga…” he moaned as your hands skimmed over his body, and the bulge in his shorts was growing before you tugged him up to his feet. While the idea of being taken in the kitchen had haunted you since hearing it come out of his mouth, you had other ideas. And wanted to be in bed to have a nap afterward without having to get up and walk there. The alarm on your phone was already set for an hour and fifteen minutes before you had to leave, plenty of time to shower and get ready. 

“Get on the bed,” you instructed, and with a whine he complied, starting his trek across the living room and down the hall. You sighed softly at the incredible view that was Sebastian’s ass walking away in tight-fitting boxer briefs, and smirked before calling out after him. “And I want you naked when I get in there.” 

You could hear him groaning from where you stood at the table, and heard the hop that meant he was taking the underwear off as he made his way to the bedroom, not wanting to disappoint. You gave him a second before slowly and purposefully walking down the hall after him, and when you stood in the doorway felt heat surge through you. Lying on his back, splayed out and buck-naked was your boyfriend, hands up above his head and feet spread far apart, completely exposing himself. 

“Like this draga? Did I do good?” he asked, sounding breathy as his hard member rested along his stomach, already a flushed red colour from being aroused and untouched. If there were ever a man who looked handmade by the gods themselves, it was Sebastian laid out like this.

“So good baby,” you purred, slowly pulling off your tank top, hearing him keen and shift on the bed in front of you, eyes hungrily watching your every move, before you tossed it toward the hamper. Next your capris came off, and then you crawled onto the mattress, holding yourself up over him. 

“Please baby, take me,” he breathed, and pushed himself up a little to kiss you. This was new. While you’d been trying to talk yourself up to maybe be a little more ‘in charge’ than you’d ever experienced, you definitely hadn’t expected him to be very much on the same page.

“Hm?” 

“Take me. Have your way with me. Whatever you want baby just please,” he begged, and kissed along your neck, wherever he could reach while straining his neck forward, his hands still crossed at the wrist above his head, as if he were restrained somehow. 

“You must have some ideas baby, tell me what you want,” you hummed, and heard him gasp as you let your fingertip and nail trail along his chest and down his sternum, stopping just short of his navel. 

“I want you to… to…” he stumbled over his words, blushing a little before you urged him to continue, softly sucking along his neck. “To own me. Have your way with me. Kinda like how I did with you once we were alone the night our parents came out.”

There it was. Kind of out of left field but at least now you had something to work with. Even last night the two of you had gotten a little adventurous; like there was something weird about having gone through the mess you had, nearly losing each other, starting to work on it, having your parents attempt to intervene, and then slowly coming together stronger that worked like an aphrodisiac for new and unusual things for the two of you. 

“Yeah? You want me to _own_ you? What’s that look like for you, puiut?” you asked, letting your hand slide back up to softly rest at the hollow of his throat. He keened and squirmed and his blue eyes were wide with need, his lips parting of their own accord as he breathed heavily. 

“Please, please,” he begged, and you slid your hand up a little further until you had the slightest grip imaginable on his throat, and he groaned and gasped, his member bobbing slightly as he twitched with need. Sebastian had never expressed any kind of desire for anything like this, but in all honesty? It was hot. Incredibly hot, to have him splayed out and begging for your touch, or your praise, wanting to be completely at your mercy. 

“Such a good boy,” you cooed, letting your index finger come up to tap at the end of his chin. “But you want me to own you, hm?” 

“Just don’t ah… put a finger in my… y’know… please?” he was blushing like mad, the color spreading and blooming down his neck and across his chest and ears. You nearly giggled at him, but managed to fight it down when you realized he was serious and maybe a little concerned.

“Baz of course not, I wouldn’t do that,” you wrinkled your nose up a little, but heard the little discontent sound he made that the two of you were getting off track.

“Just…” 

“I swear, no worries babe,” you assured him, pecking his lips softly before deepening the kiss, pressing down on him a little and making him groan. “Now, as I was saying… before you so _rudely_ interrupted… you want me to…?”

“Own me…” 

“Own you?”

“Yes please,” 

“Yes please, what?” you asked, tightening your grip the slightest bit and making him moan and squirm some more. He was panting, uncurling and making fists as he wiggled and the moment you relaxed your grip to move it he whined and shook his head, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he was chewing on his lip.

“I don’t know what word you want me to use,” he blurted, obviously hung up on the thought. Probably because he knew you hated being called ‘ma’am’ with a passion. You took a second to think on it, rolling over a few ideas in your mind before realizing you were really out of your depth here, never having done anything like this before. All you could do was hope Sebastian enjoyed it enough with your blundering anyway.

“Miss is fine,” you told him, keeping your voice a little curt, and he nodded eagerly, before swallowing hard enough you felt his Adam’s apple bob beneath your palm. 

“Yes please, miss. Please own me,” he corrected himself and you nodded, wondering what in the fuck that was supposed to mean for him. You had one small piece of knowledge to work off of and that was the fact that Sebastian sometimes liked a spank across his ass. Other than that, you were driving blind.

“Well, uh, just to make sure you don’t forget,” you started, lifting your hand from his neck and making him whine at the loss of it. But how else were you supposed to do this? “On your hands and knees.” 

His mouth dropped open in surprise; whether from the fact you were playing along or what, you weren’t sure, but in an instant he scrambled to do so, and held himself there trembling in front of you. You ran your hand from his mop of hair down his spine, giving each ass cheek a good hard squeeze that made him groan and shake a little more, before landing a gentle smack to his right side. He gasped, his head and chest dropping down to the mattress, effectively sticking his ass up in the air for you. You could see he was gripping the sheets hard enough his knuckles were white, and you gently rubbed your hand over his slightly pink skin, soothing it. 

“Hmm? Do you think you need a spank to make sure you remember?” you asked, and he nodded aggressively. It seemed to be like a good way to check that he was okay without breaking this ‘character’ he so desperately needed or wanted you to be in.

“Yes Miss, make sure I don’t forget,” he breathed, and you landed another smack, this time to the left side, before soothing your hand over his skin. 

“Like that?” 

“Maybe… maybe harder,” he quietly pressed, surprising you before you did as he asked. The next smack echoed the tiniest bit in the small room, and the sound that came from his throat was a mix of pain and ecstasy, but the way he pushed his ass back against your hand when you smoothed it over his pink skin told you he was more than okay with it. 

A few more and you dropped your head to press a kiss to his pink, irritated, and overwarm skin, and he shivered and whined. 

“You did so good, puiut, now lay back down,” you told him, keeping your voice soft as he followed your request. He made a slight face when he settled down onto his behind, probably feeling a tiny bit of sting, but that was forgotten the moment you straddled his waist and kissed him hard. It took him a few seconds but he brought his hands up to your waist to hold you while he opened his mouth to let you dominate him. It was different, not having him truly meet you halfway, but it was kind of exciting to tip his head back and kiss him thoroughly, to hear and _feel_ him moan into you and feel his sex twitch up against you in need.

“Are you mine, puiut?” you growled, pulling his bottom lip in your teeth and making him moan. 

“All yours, draga I’m only yours,” he insisted, and you guided his hands to the clasp at the back of your bra. Once that was off you ran your hands up his arms, over his shoulders and into his hair and pulled him in against you. With being sat on his lap you were a little taller, and gratefully he dipped his head the tiniest bit to bury his face between your breasts with sloppy kisses and licks as you softly rolled your hips over his naked lap, making him moan and whimper. 

“Have you been good, puiut? Should I fuck you?” you asked, smoothing some of his hair back as he eagerly nodded. 

“Please, please fuck me… _Miss._ ,” he remembered at the last moment, sticking to the rules he’d asked for, and when you stood up to shimmy off your underwear he sat there obediently. You pulled open his nightstand drawer and got out a condom, opening it and then rolling it onto him before straddling his lap again. 

“Ready baby?” you asked, and wound your fingers into his hair in a tight grip. He nodded, and steadied himself as you lowered onto him. 

It was hot and fast, Sebastian unable to hold his torso up in a sitting position after a few minutes, too overwhelmed with sensation to keep it up. Instead you found that this was more what he was looking for; with one of your hands over both his wrists, you kept them ‘pinned’ above his head while you rolled your hips over him and rocked against him, pulling little moans with every movement. You cupped his cheek for a moment, needing to check in and make sure he _was_ okay, and instead he drew your thumb into his mouth, sucking softly on the digit before swirling his tongue around it, and somehow that was incredibly sexy. 

“So good Baz,” you murmured, and let your thumb trail down his throat, leaving a line of his spit where it rubbed off of your skin. A soft whine from him had you softly placing your hand over his throat again, and you leaned heavily on your other arm to support you while you fucked him. Soon he was crying out and moaning loudly and obscenely, trembling like a leaf beneath you. 

If he wanted to be owned, you’d give it to him. 

“Should I let you come, baby? Have you been good?” you asked, and his eyes snapped open, chest heaving beneath you and he let out a mournful whine of a moan.

“Oh please, please miss. Please let me come, I’m so close,” he begged, groaning as you slowed your thrusts. He pushed his hips up a few times to try and take over, but you easily pinned his legs beneath your own and placed your hand back at his throat, even though you had no grip on him. Even just the visual and being able to feel that your skin was there was enough for him, even if you were doing no more than resting your hand against his hot skin. It would’ve been far too uncomfortable for you to actually grip him or be that aggressively dominant, so you were glad that this was enough for him.

“Ah, ah, ah, that’s not behaving,” you reprimanded him, and immediately apologies were spilling from his kiss-swollen lips. 

“So, should I let you come?” 

“Please, please I’m begging you, let me—ah…” you lifted yourself up to come back down hard on him, and you could’ve sworn his eyes nearly rolled back into his head. 

“Come for me,” you whispered against his ear, and instantaneously he tensed beneath you; his member twitching and hips stuttering as he did as you told him. You hadn’t realized he’d been wound quite that tightly or had been _that_ close to be able to just let go the instant the words fell from your lips, but it was incredibly sexy.

“Claire… oh god…” he moaned, taking several moments to finish and relax beneath you. You moved your hand from his throat to softly comb through his hair, pressing sweet kisses to his temple and cheek. 

“Are you okay Baz? Was that okay? I wasn’t really sure what you wanted from me,” you mumbled, and he pulled his arms back down to wrap around you, burying his face against your neck.

“That was fucking incredible,” he whispered, and made a funny sound in his throat as a small second wave of pleasure hit him. “I’ve never really… I just… uh… I needed that, babe. Thank you.” 

“Of course, Baz,” you kissed him again before meeting his lips, and then with groans of mock frustration pulled apart so he could take care of the condom. You welcomed him back to bed with open arms, and he jumped at the invitation, snuggling up and nuzzling his head beneath your chin, swapping the positions the two of you normally laid in. It was nice though, to know that you could swap roles so easily and you could be the strong one holding him together in this way too. You laid there for a few moments, holding him tight and softly rubbing his back, feeling his breathing calm down a bit before he was shifting around a little like he was uncomfortable. It meant there was something he wanted to address and didn’t know how to bring it up, so you simply kept a hand in his hair and waited him out.

“Was it… was that weird, for you? I mean, it’s kind of… uh… different… and I wasn’t really sure… if I’d like it either…” he stumbled over his words to get them out, and you shrugged. 

“It was a little awkward because I had no idea what you wanted babe, but the actual sex like that? Super hot,” you answered, and he hummed a little in his throat, sounding like a happy cat as he pressed into you some more, turning his head a little so you could scratch softly at the nape of his neck. 

“Yeah? You like fucking me?” 

“Of course I do. And listening to you moan like a porn star? Ugh, babe,” you continued, and knew his face would be bright red even though he wasn’t looking up at you. Instead he snuggled in closer, and you held him tighter as you tugged on the sheet to try and cover the two of you up. 

“Well, now that we’ve crossed ‘random unbelievably raunchy middle of the afternoon sex’ off of the bucket list, I want to take a nap with you,” you piped up, and heard his soft chuckle. 

“I’m down for that; I’m kind of exhausted. I didn’t really sleep last night; I just laid here and worried all night and all morning about this stupid press conference because I can’t _be_ there with you,” he admitted, and you ruffled his hair, getting another happy humming sound from him. 

“It’ll be fine, puiut; I swear. I have all the girls, I’ll have my phone so I can call you if I need you, and I’m only twenty minutes away. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” 

“Yeah, I probably won’t watch it, but I might just lounge in bed and doze. My girlfriend kind of just fucked my brains out so I feel like I’m made of jelly,” he shot you a lazy grin then, making you laugh and feel all fuzzy and warm inside all at once. 

“Good to know babe. And if… if that’s something you want to do more often…” 

“I have no idea Claire; I really don’t. It just kind of… hit me, in all honesty. I think… because of all this… control has been such a weird thing in our lives the last couple weeks that neither of us are sure how to manage it, and then with our parents trying to step in like we’re thirteen… I think I just needed to know I had the power to give you the control and… and be able to hand it over to someone who I love and trust,” his explanation was a little choppy, but there were tears in the corner of your eyes when he finished. 

“Baz… oh my god,” 

“What? What’d I say?” 

“You’re too sweet. And I’m so happy you felt okay handing that control over to me. Do you feel better about it now?” you asked, and he nodded. 

“I think so. I think… maybe part of me felt a little weird about… you know, that first night our parents were here and I was really… pushy,” he mumbled, and you shook your head, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look up at you.

“Baz you were not pushy! That was hot,” you insisted, and kissed his lips quickly. “Honest. If I’d had a problem with it I would’ve said something.” 

“Babe I smacked your ass – fairly hard – without even asking if it was okay before or checking in with you. That’s not… not very good of me,” he grimaced, but you shook your head. 

“Again, if I’d had a problem, I’d have said so. Baby it was so hot feeling like you needed me so bad you couldn’t control yourself,” you whispered, pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to his lips. “So no feeling bad for making me feel sexy, okay?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes. I will be very upset if you take it back after that. It was a great confidence booster all day afterward,” you giggled, because it was the truth. “I wore those shorts I usually worry are a little too tight or too short because all day all I could think was ‘fuck yeah, my boyfriend thinks I’m so hot he just bent me over the couch instead of taking me to bed last night’ and it was a great day.” 

That did make him laugh, thankfully, and with that he comfortably wrapped himself around you again and nuzzled at your neck so he could fit his head beneath your chin. “If you say so babe; although like, ninety percent of the time it’s all I can do to get you to bed instead of taking you wherever we are. I might have to start carrying a condom around in my wallet like a goddamn high school kid so that I can have you whenever I want. Whenever… uh… we want.” 

“Relax, please? You know I’d shoot you down if I didn’t want it, as awful as that sounds,” you reassured him, before snuggling in to get comfy. “Now, that nap, because I have to do press in a couple hours and that will be exhausting so I want some nice downtime with my favourite person.” 

“Sounds good to me,” Sebastian told you, and soon was breathing softly and evenly. 

-

“You got this; and if you don’t just give me the signal and I’ll try to take over so you have a second, okay?” Scarlett had both hands on your shoulders, looking impeccably dressed in a sharp button down blouse and a pair of dark high waisted jeans, her hair coifed in a way you could only dream of yours ever accomplishing.

“Okay, right, yeah. Thank so much Scar,” 

“Of course sweetie; you know I love you. Rose blabbered about you like half the flight here so I hope you don’t mind the two of us invading yours and Seb’s space a little bit tonight or tomorrow,” she grinned, effectively taking your attention off the pandemonium coming from the room of some fifty reporters just on the other side of a thin door. 

“Of course we don’t mind! We miss you guys,” you told her, and got a warm smile in response. 

“Perfect. Then after this you and I will stop and grab a bottle of wine, pick up Rose, and then head to your place. Hope you don’t mind I’m volun-tolding your boy to drive us back to our hotel tonight,” she winked, making you laugh. Sebastian would not mind one bit; he was still pretty baby crazy and while Rose wasn’t exactly a baby anymore he didn’t mind at all. 

“That’ll be more than okay,” you assured her, and she gave you an excited grin before an assistant came in and let you guys know they were ready for you. Scarlett squeezed your hands tight, before letting go, and you walked to the door, squaring your shoulders, making sure your little cue card of notes – not lines, because that always looked terrible to you – was in your pocket, and then you pasted on a tiny smile to make sure you didn’t have some nasty resting bitch face and walked out. Immediately you were nearly blinded by camera flashes and people yelling, so you paused for a moment to get your bearings before moving up to the small table that had been set up. The girls would join you there with their own mics in a couple of minutes. 

The first thing that hit you was how weird it was that a room so large could feel so confining and claustrophobic. While it was big enough to hold probably a hundred and fifty people, the fifty or so who had crammed in, wearing their blazers and business casual attire, hair perfectly coifed and makeup done, each accompanied by a camera crew or simply carrying notes and their phones or tech, all at the edge of their seats. The tension and anxiousness that seemed to hang in the air like a current was already seeping its’ way into you, making your palms a little clammy, so you wiped them on your jeans as you sat down and scooted your chair forward, trying to hide signs of your nerves while camera flashes and the general cacophony of noise began to settle down as a moderator spoke up. Thank God Marvel had the influence that it did, because there were efficient and trained staff here to help make sure this was as painless for you as something like this could possibly be; security watching with an eagle eye for anybody getting out of hand, a moderator to help control the crowd of journalists and press, and several assistants hovering and watching for any signal from you that they were needed. It was overwhelming.

“So, uh, hi, everybody. I’m assuming you all know who I am,” you started, your voice wavering a little bit earning a chuckle or two, which helped you to relax. There were four rows of chairs, filled with reporters and camera people, all holding microphones or recorders to make sure they had a copy of everything you said. “But for those of you who don’t, my name’s Claire MacAdams. Basically, what I’m here for today, is to clear a couple of things up that have been really impacting my life and the lives of those who mean the world to me, so I want to kind of settle it all out. 

“A little over two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I – Sebastian… Stan, uh, for anybody who lives under a rock and hasn’t seen a Marvel movie,” you grinned, getting some more laughter from the giant crowd. “We went out to hang out on the beach, grab some lunch, just try and have a relaxing day together. We’ve been going through some really difficult things lately, and just wanted some time to not worry about it. However, um, on our way back to the car, paparazzi kind of pounced on us. Which, unfortunately, comes with the job description and is sometimes part of life for us. One of these photographers, however, crossed a line, offending Sebastian and myself and the security of our relationship in a way that was awful and demeaning and very obviously bothered us. Conveniently, he left that out of the video he posted of the rest of the incident. I won’t try to rehash what he said, a) because I don’t remember it per verbatim and b) because it’s truly not important. What it was, was the last straw for what Sebastian was able to handle. Just a few weeks before this had happened, as I’m sure many of you are aware I had an on-set accident that resulted in me being transported to hospital. This was on top of all the other things going on, and so to be in a state of anxiety and worry for so long, then to have something like that thrown in, was too much. Sebastian swung at him, and there were words exchanged. I convinced him to get in the car for us to go home, then the photographer sucker punched him in the back of the head, and the fight ensued.

“I’m not trying to condone this; I don’t think it was right, and Sebastian was incredibly upset after all was said and done with how he reacted. But that wasn’t the worst part. We both knew to expect media coverage and issues and repercussions of other sorts… but then things took a different turn neither of us had anticipated. Suddenly, out of nowhere… people were saying… trying to say that…” you took a few deep breaths, giving an apologetic smile before drinking some water from the small glass in front of you as you tried to reel in the emotions. “Trying to say that Sebastian was abusive and controlling and manipulating. That we aren’t really pictured out and about at clubs or bars or restaurants because he has my life under his thumb, or emotionally and physically and mentally abuses me and that that is somehow the reason for us not being as public. I just… god, sorry, it’s still really upsetting to talk about…” 

You needed to stop for a second, and saw Scarlett and the girls watching you like hawks from the side of the stage, hovering about whether or not to intervene. You managed a tiny smile for them, and sniffed hard, trying to get yourself under control. 

“It was awful, painful, and worst of all, completely false. There’s no truth to any of these allegations and we don’t even know where they came from. Sebastian has _never_ been abusive, _never_ been manipulative or controlling, and to insinuate that he’s all of these things? For people to be calling that he should be arrested for them? It kills me. Because I have to watch someone I love hurt, and have to see people rip apart his character, his reputation, and possibly even his future career and feel powerless about it. And to sit there and have him tell me it’ll be fine, that he can figure something else out, as long as we have each other. He was worried… worried about me doing this press conference for how painful it would be. Of how some people, who seem so determined to peg him as this abuser, might try to twist my words or discredit what I’m saying somehow because of his ‘influence’, and that he didn’t want that to follow me in some way. 

“Does that sound like the kind of man who would hurt me? If any of you knew Sebastian in the _slightest_ , you would know all of this mess couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s kind, he’s thoughtful, he’s sweet, and unbelievably supportive; he was raised by a single mother, and if you’ve ever read or heard an interview with him where he’s been asked about feminist or equality movements, he has no qualms in speaking up and for them. And those opinions and values are things he takes to heart. So, I’m here, as an independent woman who is in control of my own life, career, and person, who is sick and tired of watching you all try and tear someone I love apart, to tell you to cease and desist. That there’s no abuse, no manipulation, and if being homebodies is a problem then I guess we have one, but I feel that it’s a pretty minor problem to have. But considering we spend months at a time apart, we would rather spend our time together at home than out on the town. And uh, I guess that’s what I have to say about that,”

Soon the questions were being flung at you faster than you could manage them, and you sat there like a deer in the headlights, unsure of what to do. 

In moments, however, you felt a hand on your shoulder, and saw Scarlett standing beside you, Lizzie waiting in the wings as the crowd began clamouring for Scarlett’s attention instead of yours. It hadn’t been made widespread news that Scarlett and the girls were going to speak as well.

“Hello; I’m Scarlett. I’ve been lucky enough to know Claire since she got on this Marvel bandwagon with us, and I’ve known Sebastian for a long time; we met kind of in passing here and there between the two of us starting with Marvel, but I’ve known him fairly well since the Winter Soldier movie came out. And honestly, I’m here to support my friends. I’m a firm believer in equality, and the strength and power that women have, and if I was concerned in any way about Claire and Sebastian, I wouldn’t be here right now. Instead, I _am_ here, and that’s to tell you that never before have I seen two people love each other more deeply, passionately, and wholly than those two. And I know you all lost your minds at Christmas thinking they got engaged but really we’re all just waiting for it,” she managed a grin that had you laughing and some tears escaping as she held out her hand for you to hold on to for support. “They’re amazing together, and they’re _happy_. They aren’t big on going out, not just because they like to stay in and just enjoy life with their friends in a quieter way, but also because they get hounded and photographed everywhere when they do go out. Sounds like a pretty convincing reason not to if you ask me. So, like I said, I’m here to support my amazing friend Claire, and to stand by her in telling you that these allegations need to stop; they are slanderous to the character of a man I’m very grateful to consider my friend, and unbelievably painful to this wonderful woman I’ve become so close to.” 

“Oh my _God_ , Scar, you,” you couldn’t finish a sentence, instead hugging her tight and crying a little against her shoulder as Lizzie came out onto the stage. 

“I really couldn’t say anything any better than Scarlett just did,” she admitted with a giggle, giving you a smile and a quick hug. “But I’ll try to do it justice. I’m Lizzie; I joined the Marvel family just a couple of years before Claire did, so she replaced me as the new girl, which was wonderful. In that time, we’ve become amazingly close friends; we’re lucky enough to work on a TV show together and see each other almost every day, and while it can be so hard to make real, genuine friends in this industry I have that in all of the women who are coming up to show support today. Claire’s a strong, independent, smart woman, and that’s reflected in who she chooses to surround herself with – even if sometimes I wonder why she’s friends with me and Chloe because of it.” 

That had everybody cracking up, you and Chloe included, while Lizzie tried to keep it together. “But really, it’s true. I met Sebastian when we filmed Civil War, and immediately was struck by the fact that he’s just a genuine, nice person. Always offering to run and grab a coffee for someone, or making a point of asking if you’re okay if you seem a little ‘off’ to him. He is, just as Scarlett and Claire said, sweet and thoughtful and caring and always willing to go the extra mile for other people. Claire is very much the same way. When I found out that those two lovebirds had _finally_ gotten together, over a year later, I was ecstatic. Sebastian is somebody who is inherently a caring person; he’s always concerned with making sure everyone around him is happy or trying to do whatever he can to help if they aren’t. He’s always quick to laugh and make jokes but can be serious when the situation calls for it. 

“In so many ways it’s ridiculous, because people like Sebastian are incredibly rare to find and befriend and have in your life, and I’m so happy for Claire to have that in him as a partner, and for us to have that in him as a friend and co-worker. But most of all, because in Sebastian, Claire found someone who is equally as passionate, giving, thoughtful, and intelligent; someone with a kind heart who likes to put the interests of those he loves first, and he’s shown all of us this time and time again by always helping whenever he can, always asking and checking in, and the way he treats everyone around him. Never, ever once, has there been a moment where I have had even a shadow of a doubt about how perfect these two are for each other; he loves her the way we believe we should be loved as little kids, before the world decides to tell us that ‘true love isn’t real’ and that it’s only for fairy tales. If we could stick a crown and tights on that goofball he’d be the real deal. But in all seriousness, he loves her so completely and fully, that sometimes it’s hard to believe. But never, ever has that love been shown in any way that wasn’t exactly what Claire needed. Never has he been controlling or manipulative, never has he done anything to hurt her, and we were all appalled and outraged at the fact that people who don’t even know him are trying to ruin him with those kinds of lies. So I’m here today, like Claire, like Scarlett, like Chloe and Lil, to show support for one of our closest friends, and for the person she has chosen to be with and chosen well, for the man of character we all know him to be. Because no woman’s voice should be quieted whether she is speaking out _against_ someone or _for_ someone. Thank you,” 

It was amazing, eloquent, and she stunned most of the crowd of reporters into silence. It was eerily quiet for a few seconds, before there was some applause breaking out and then the questions were coming rapid fire again. 

Chloe and Lil both had small speeches, not being quite as comfortable addressing something like this, and because they didn’t know Sebastian as well as Lizzie and Scarlett did, so found it harder to speak on his behalf, obviously, and instead focused on being there to support you. You’d tried to insist that they didn’t need to speak at all, knowing that they’d only met Sebastian a handful of times, but neither of them would let you talk them out of it. By the time the conference was done though, you were exhausted, had mascara running down your cheeks, and you were done. You needed to go home and curl up with Sebastian and be held and fall asleep. 

“Okay, let’s go. No questions today,” Scarlett decided, and you sleepily nodded, giving a wave and a small smile to the slew of unhappy journalists before you all stood and exited off the stage, leaving the moderator to explain that no additional questions would be asked at this time due to the sensitivity of the subject and how stressful the ordeal in general had been for you. 

“Thank you girls so much, I don’t even have words…” you blubbered, knowing you’d go absolute full ridiculous water works again if you tried to do more than that. Instead they all fawned over you and accepted all of your deathly-tight hugs. 

“Hey, how you holding up?” Kevin Feige came over and gave you a quick hug, surprising you. In all honesty you really hadn’t expected his presence. 

“As well as I think can be expected. I… sorry, thank you for being here; I didn’t realize you would be,” you told him, and he shrugged, as if it was a no brainer to be there.

“I wanted to support you; both of you. I just knew, unfortunately that being up on that stage could’ve changed how everybody took your words and I didn’t want that to happen. Didn’t want people to say ‘Oh, Marvel was breathing down their necks to protect the guy who plays Bucky Barnes’ or whatever stupid stuff, so I thought I’d stay in the background,” he explained, and you gave him a tight hug as well. It was unbelievable the amount of support all of these wonderful people were able to give you.

“Well regardless, thank you so much. It means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to Baz,”

“Make sure to tell him I say hello and that all of us are rooting for him and hoping he’s okay,” Kevin told you with a fairly paternal pat to the shoulder before he was on his way. 

“Well, we’re gonna let you get home; I’m sure Seb is kind of a mess right now waiting to hear from you,” Lizzie piped up, and soon there was another round of hugs while you thanked them all over and over again for their help and support. That it meant the world to you and Sebastian. 

“Mommy!” all of you turned to look, seeing Scarlett’s manager and friend following along behind her four year old as she hurried over. Scarlett’s grin became huge and infectious as she squatted down with her arms out to pick up her daughter. 

“Rose! Sweetie, did you have fun with Molly?” she asked, covering Rose’s cheek in kisses that made the little girl shriek and giggle. 

“Yes! We got to pet puppies!” she announced, and looked around the group of women. She recognized you and Lizzie, but decided to play shy and bury her face against Scarlett’s shoulder at Chloe and Lil. While playfully clucking her tongue at the little girl Scarlett patted her back and kissed her temple, before everybody said their goodbyes again and the two of you began to head out to the car park. 

“Well, Molly came with us; is it okay if I put Rose’s car seat in your car and we hop in with you? That way she has a ride back to the hotel?” she asked, and you nodded eagerly. 

“Of course! Rose, do you wanna come hang out at my house? Sebastian is there too,” you asked, and her head popped up, big blue-green eyes moving over your face. 

“Seb too?” 

“Yeah, Seb too. You remember that he’s Claire’s boyfriend now, right?” Scarlett asked, and Rose nodded. Apparently that whole ‘you were dating Chris and now were dating Sebastian’ thing had been a little hard for her to wrap her head around. It still made you giggle remembering Scarlett embarrassedly trying to explain it to her daughter, Sebastian doing all he could to not bust a gut laughing at her confusion.

“Yeah I do,” she replied, and soon was chattering away about the puppies again while you followed Scarlett to her car. Rather than try to give you instructions for how to get the car seat out, she handed Rose off to you to do it herself. The little girl stiffened up for a second before snuggling in under your chin, and you kissed the top of her head, keeping up the puppy conversation before the three of you were off and soon settled into your car. 

“Mommy and Claire need to make a quick stop and then we’re off to her house, okay?” Scarlett told her, and Rose nodded, pulling one of her cardboard-paged books out of her bag and looking through it. Scarlett insisted on buying the wine, so you stayed in the car with Rose while she ran in, before you realized you probably had no child-friendly snack food in the apartment. 

“Do you want to stop at the grocery store and we can get some snacks and something for dinner?” you asked the two girls in the car, and Rose cheered while Scarlett chuckled. 

“Now you’ve done it. You’ll get to see first hand why you always try to avoid taking a toddler to the grocery store,” she smirked, and you shrugged, before signalling and turning to quickly stop in. 

“It can’t be that bad, can it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys...
> 
> So, it's been a couple of weeks since I updated. I am sorry that I'm not able to be consistent in posting the same day every week or even being able to post weekly. Right now, it's not realistic for me. I'm trying to finish the last semester of my undergrad degree, plan a trip, start worrying about packing up my sublet and the trip back to my home province, finding a job, figuring out what city that job will be in and whether or not I need to rent a new place, pack up the old one, etc... so life's a little all over the place. 
> 
> I understand being frustrated - I get it. There are stories that I have followed that it drove me _nuts_ waiting for a new chapter. And at the time it was easy for me to be writing and keeping up to my own stories, but the important thing to remember is we're all people. Unfortunately writing isn't my full-time job (I wish - if anybody wants to write Marvel to get me a novel gig with them... ;P ) and so a lot of times it falls to the bottom of the to-do list. Not because I don't love it, but because amidst the rest of my chaos it's just not doable. I write because it's something I love to do, and I started posting and got over my fear of putting work out in the world because I wanted to share and enjoy it with others the way I love reading others' stories. But please remember that we're all doing this on our own time, because we want to share ideas and characters we've created and loved with you, and that sometimes the 'real' world has to come first. This summer has had a lot of mental-health ups and downs for me, and while writing is usually a thing I turn to as a coping mechanism there were times when I just couldn't do it. 
> 
> So I understand if there's frustration or a desire to get more content more consistently; I want that too. And I am trying; I really appreciate those who've stuck around with me through all of these rough patches and spots where I'm a really shit uploader. It means the world to me. So I hope you enjoy the chapter, and while I can't guarantee when the next one will go up I hope you'll be there for that one too.
> 
> <3


	54. Chapter 54

“Home sweet home!” you announced, unlocking the front door, and poking your head in as Rose giggled at you. You’d texted Sebastian, while trying to control the unholy chaos that was Rose in the grocery store, that you were bringing home company, but wanted to make sure he wasn’t lounging in his underwear or something similar in case he hadn’t checked his phone because he hadn’t answered your text. “Baz? Babe, Scarlett and Rose are here with me!” 

“Hey guys!” he opened the door the rest of the way for you, and you watched him melt as he saw you were carrying a slightly tired four year old and her bag, as well as a grocery bag. “Hey babe, how did it go?” 

“It went a lot better than I’d expected,” you allowed, and met his peck of a kiss before he was pulling grocery bags out of yours and Scarlett’s hands while you walked in. Rose was nearly ready for a nap; apparently playing with puppies was a tiring afternoon for a four year old, and then the grocery store had turned into a twenty-five minute affair of you having to chase her around and keep a close eye on her to ensure she wasn’t grabbing or getting into things and you’d narrowly avoided one of her famous ‘meltdowns’ over Scooby Snacks. Apparently having you around made that one of the most relaxing trips Scarlett had had to a grocery store in the last several months, able to go up and down the aisles and get what you two had decided you needed and leaving Rose up to you.

“Yeah? That’s good,” he was soon shuffling around the kitchen, putting things away and keeping busy, which struck you as a little bit odd. Scarlett had noticed too, and a moment later had pulled him into a tight hug that he returned with minimal hesitation, the two of them talking quietly for a moment. Rose’s little thumb was in her mouth, and with a soft kiss to her forehead and then a silly face to distract her you pulled it out, holding her small hand while she yawned and nestled in against your chest, eyelashes sitting against her porcelain cheeks and making her look like a little doll. 

“Oh draga, nu știi cât de frumoasă este acea viziune,” he sighed, and leaned against the kitchen counter, blue eyes glued to you holding Scarlett’s daughter. You had a general idea of what he’d said – something about knowing and beautiful and view – and felt your cheeks warm up. Scarlett was clueless to the Romanian, but from your reaction had probably made a solid guess at what he’d said with a soft smile.

“Well, I’m going to run to the washroom real quick, you’ve got Rose handled?” she asked with a knowing grin, and you nodded as you wandered into the kitchen, leaning your back against the countertop to help counter Rose’s weight at your front. 

“Yeah I think so,” you smiled back, and she patted Sebastian’s shoulder softly before heading toward the bathroom. Scarlett had stuck the wine in the fridge to chill a little before the two of you poured a glass, and Sebastian had made quick work of the rest of the groceries. Once she was down the hall, he closed the distance between you, one hand on the counter behind you, and with unbelievable tenderness he reached out to smooth some of Rose’s wild blonde curls down, pressing a kiss to your temple at the same time. 

“She really took to you,” he murmured, speaking quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping toddler. You shrugged, and looked at the adorable little girl who was nestled in against you as comfortably as she did with her mother. 

“She takes to just about everybody,” 

“Not the first time I saw her on set. She screamed bloody murder at everybody except Scarlett, her dad, and Chris,” he chuckled, and then leaned his head against yours. “Seeing you carrying her coming in the door? Claire… you took my breath away. I can’t wait to see you like that with ours.” 

His words were teasing but honest, and you felt your cheeks heating up again even while he chuckled and kissed your cheek. “Sorry draga, but it’s true.” 

“I know Baz, you don’t have to be sorry,” you softly told him, and met his lips for a quick kiss that turned just a little more heated. The two of you stood there for a few minutes, until Rose made a noise in her sleep, scrunching up her nose and then yawning as she woke herself up. Scarlett was just coming out of the washroom, having scrubbed the camera makeup off of her face while giving the two of you some time together. Her hardly-contained grin was enough to make you chuckle, before Rose’s small hand was on your cheek, turning your face back to look at her, which had Sebastian chuckling softly beside you. 

“Yes sweetie?” 

“Can we watch Paw Patrol?” she asked, sounding as innocent as the day was long, as if turning it on didn’t condemn the three adults to an entire evening of the cartoon. With a snort Sebastian straightened up and held his hands out, and Rose was obviously contemplating going to him or not. She liked him; liked to chat and talk to him and smile at him, but being held was apparently another matter.

“How ‘bout we find some Paw Patrol to watch so Mommy and Claire can visit?” he asked, and with a toothy grin she nodded and stuck her arms out for him. With a sense of ease that nearly surprised you he lifted Rose from your arms and settled her on his hip, asking her who her favourite character was and she happily started telling him all about it while he carried her to the couch and sat down with her, turning on the TV and Netflix to find her favourite show. 

To say your insides melted was an understatement. Rose, not content to just sit beside Sebastian, crawled up onto his lap and burrowed in against his sweater, and without missing a beat he’d intercepted her hand that was going up so she could suck on her thumb, letting her little fingers wrap around one of his instead while he kept her attention on his questions. If you hadn’t known better, you’d have thought Sebastian had been doing this his whole life. 

“Uh oh Claire, you’re getting the look,” Scarlett sing-songed behind you, and you felt your face immediately turn fire engine red as you ripped your gaze off of your boyfriend and your friend’s toddler as he settled back against the couch, wrapping his arms around her while they got comfortable. 

“What look?” you asked, feigning innocence as you turned toward her and gladly accepted the glass of wine she offered. With a raised eyebrow she took a sip, and then shot you a shit-eating grin. 

“The ‘I want to have your babies’ look,” she decided, and you nearly choked on your own mouthful of wine. “You can’t even deny it. Your insides just turned to mush looking at him being so good with her. God it’s almost enough to turn _my_ insides to mush and he does nothing for me whatsoever. No offense to either of you.”

Her teasing was nearly enough to bring your heart rate back down, and you could only hope Sebastian couldn’t hear her over the Paw Patrol theme song while he managed to keep Rose’s attention shared between him and the screen. It just seemed to come so _natural_ to him, which was the part that struck you the most. That how perfectly he would take to the role of being a father… and knowing how badly he wanted to step into those shoes, except for the part where you had slammed the breaks on it for the foreseeable future.

“Well, do you want to sit and visit here or on the balcony or…?” Scarlett asked, and you hummed and hawed over it for a minute, before chuckling. 

“I think it depends on what you want to visit about,” you teased, and she laughed hard enough that the two heads sitting in the living room turned to eye the two of you. That sight alone was adorable enough, and you whipped out your phone to snap a picture of the two of them, confused faces and all, before getting a second one with Sebastian laughing and Rose burying her face against his shoulder, which somehow killed you even more as you showed them to Scarlett before messaging them to her. 

Sebastian had kept Rose entertained most of the remainder of the afternoon; watching TV with her, making up and telling stories, even playing dolls with her on the living room floor, giving you and Scarlett the opportunity to catch up and talk. It had been so wonderful to catch up; it had really been too long since you’d seen Scarlett and been able to do more than just visit in passing. Filming for the last Avengers movie had been hectic, with everybody coming and going constantly, and you’d been able to spend a couple of days with her shooting, and a few ‘off’ days – where there was less than four or five hours of shooting – hanging out with her and Rose, and Sebastian had been around for about two of them. She was full of questions, about how things were with the two of you, a squeal of excitement when the fact you were planning on moving in with him came up, because she hadn’t had a chance to talk to you about it yet, and just the general what was new. Scarlett had such a calming presence, and was able to think so logically and critically about anything, it was kind of nice to have a fresh pair of eyes to hash things out with. And to hear someone you admired so much make little jokes and comments about how much she loved the two of you together and give some critique about projects and ideas never hurt either. 

It truly was amazing, and Scarlett had been surprised that Rose hadn’t been running out to the patio to check in with her mom at all, something she was apparently very prone to doing even with her friends. Since Scarlett and her husband – Rose’s dad – had split up, she’d worryingly noticed some attachment things with Rose, mostly like needing to check in and see and talk to her mom whenever she felt uncertain. Her dad was still super involved, but of course the little girl knew that he was no longer living with them and that had taken a toll on her, in a way that Scarlett nearly teared up having to talk about. She hated the thought of having something this huge affect Rose so totally when she was still so young. More than once she’d heard footsteps and paused, cocking her head slightly to hear better and obviously expecting Rose to fling open the sliding door and come barrelling out, and every time nothing had happened. Instead, the footsteps were she and Sebastian playing; Rose going to get toys or a book from her bag, or getting Sebastian to dance along to a song playing on the TV. 

Both of you had snuck several looks into the living room at the two; Scarlett to check in on her baby and you because seeing Sebastian’s long frame crouched up to sit on the living room floor playing dolls with a toddler was too adorable not to watch. Once any and all teasing and talk about the seriousness of your and Sebastian’s relationship had stopped, Scarlett cracked open the patio door so the two of you could listen and make sure Sebastian and Rose weren’t getting into too much mischief while left to their own devices. Getting to hear the stories Sebastian made up on the spot to tell Rose was adorable, and you had to hide your blush and smile behind your wine glass as you took a drink, avoiding Scarlett’s knowing eyes.

They even play wrestled, Rose dropping her doll, standing up, and declaring she was Black Widow and Sebastian was the evil bad guy and that she’d stop him to save the world. With all the dramatics available to him he’d put up a valiant fight, hardly staving off her ‘attacks’ before she’d lunged and tackled him to the floor. He’d caught her, flopping down onto his back but making sure she was safe, before sprawling out and letting out a groan, begging for mercy from the all-powerful Black Widow. Scarlett had even caught it all on camera as Black Widow announced she’d defeated him and that he’d have to say he was sorry and sit in a time out as punishment for trying to take over the world. Immediately he was pleading with her, that he’d say sorry as many times as she wanted, as long as he didn’t have to go to time out, Rose was soon grinning madly, sitting on his chest with her arms crossed, proud as a peacock of her win. When you and Scarlett had started laughing and cheering, she’d run over and hopped up into your arms, nearly knocking you flat before asking if you’d seen how she’d defeated the bad guy. Sebastian stayed lying on the floor, spread eagle, and when Rose pointed to him and looked back he flopped his tongue out and closed his eyes, making her shriek in delight and you giggle as he cracked open one eye, and upon seeing he was still being watched, quickly shut it again. 

Several hours later the four of you, with bellies full of spaghetti and meat sauce, which Rose had managed to cover you and Sebastian with while eating and laughing, were all sat in the living room. Rose herself had nearly required a bath by the time she’d declared she was full, but Scarlett had settled for a warm washcloth and a change of clothes for her; a t-shirt and pair of leggings that could possibly pass for pyjamas without tipping off the four year old. After finishing off a bottle and a half of wine, you and Scarlett were starting to hit the wall, yawns and everything, and Sebastian was more than happy to have you snuggled against his side, Rose sitting on his lap nattering away about the TV show that was now playing. After two and a half hours of Paw Patrol he’d managed to talk her into switching shows, and after one episode of something about Dinosaurs taking a time travelling train you’d all been hinting at Paw Patrol again because it was less painful. 

Scarlett was nearly head-bobbing on the loveseat, having snapped several pictures of her daughter curled up with the two of you throughout the time you’d spent sitting together, and you couldn’t even argue. Sebastian was incredible with Rose, loved every minute of her attention, and handled her so wonderfully it was like second nature. Even after she’d managed to smear spaghetti sauce all over his face while he’d been trying to help her out, taking over after you’d decided to try and eat some of your own dinner and clean a few strands of pasta out of your hair. Rose was an enthusiastic story teller, and in her defense, Scarlett _had_ warned both of you that food would fly because dinner was her favourite time to tell stories. 

“What about… this one?” Sebastian wondered, flicking through the movies available. Rose made a face, but then was eagerly patting at his chest, standing on his thigh, as she saw the picture of cartoon penguins and got excited. 

“That one! Please?” she asked, and he nodded, laughing as he selected Surf’s Up and started it for her. 

“Do you want a blanket? It’s getting a little chilly,” he asked, and after thinking on it you could tell Rose was trying to discern whether or not it was a ploy to get her to go to sleep. She’d already denied being tired vehemently to her mother, not wanting to have to go back to the hotel and go to bed, even though she was very obviously hitting that stage. So instead you shifted and leaned your head on Sebastian’s shoulder. 

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer of a blanket Baz, if you don’t mind,” you said, and then Rose was insisting she needed one too. After depositing her on your lap, where she quickly made herself comfortable, eyes glued to the screen as the beginning credits ended and the movie started, Sebastian wandered to your room and came back with a couple thick blankets, dumping one on Scarlett and making her laugh before he’d tucked the three of you in to another. Your legs were across his lap, and Rose was sitting on top, curled into Sebastian’s other side and holding your hand on top of the blankets. He had an arm around each of you, and fifteen minutes later when Rose was out for the count he pressed a kiss to her forehead before turning and meeting your lips. 

“Scar?” he whispered, and soon she’d shaken herself awake, having dozed off a little. “Somebody’s out for the count.” 

“Thanks Seb… think you can get the two of us back?” she asked with a yawn, and he nodded, untangling himself from you and the blanket, wrapping it around Rose’s little form as he stood up. You got up as well, wrapping Scarlett up in a hug. 

“Thank you guys for letting us intrude on the evening,” she said, and both of you shrugged it off immediately. 

“Thank you so much for coming out; we had a lot of fun,” you insisted, and Sebastian nodded. 

“We did; we’ll have to do this more often. We have a spare room in New York that can have your guys’ names on it,” he agreed, grinning over at your co-star before he was softly rocking Rose and pressing a kiss to her forehead as she shifted and mumbled in her sleep. Scarlett’s gaze softened looking at him holding her little girl so sweetly and protectively. Rose’s dad was still very actively in her life, you knew, but since Scarlett’s divorce things had been more difficult, and it had to be hard to see someone so natural and tender with her and he not being involved in her life in that way. That quick glimpse of a look disappeared in an instant and she hugged you again, giving you a wink before slipping on her shoes and gathering up Rose’s things and helping Sebastian ease her out of the blanket he’d wrapped her up in and into her little jacket while he slipped her tiny flats onto her feet, which nearly made you aw, the wine reducing your ability to filter. 

“Be back soon, draga,” he assured you with a kiss, and you waved to Scarlett as he got them out the door. All of a sudden the apartment seemed too empty and quiet, and so you turned up the volume on the cartoon while you made a point of cleaning the kitchen and dining room up. Scarlett had tried to get in there, but both you and Sebastian had assured and reassured her that it was fine and that you’d get things cleaned up properly later. Everything had gotten a wipe down, but it all needed a more intensive clean after having a four year old unleashed on a plate of spaghetti and sauce.

Dishes done and put away, table wiped down, floor cleaned, and living room tidied up, you sat down on the couch with a small glass of wine, feeling exhausted but wanting to wait until Sebastian had returned so you could go to bed together. There were too many nights of not getting to fall asleep in his arms for you to want to pass up any of them. 

In what seemed like the blink of an eye later, you felt yourself being picked up, and started, eyes snapping open with a gasp. The arms around you froze, and as you brain cleared the fog of sleep you realized you’d dozed off and your boyfriend had returned, deciding on picking you up and carrying you to bed instead of waking you. You snaked your hand up his arm to the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a soft, slow kiss that he very eagerly met. 

“Everybody’s back safe and sound?” 

“Yeah, Rose didn’t even wake up when I carried her up and put her to bed,” he whispered back, sounding extremely pleased with himself. You couldn’t help the grin that came to your lips as you kissed again, and felt his thumb softly stroking your arm. 

“Look at you go,” you teased, and he chuckled. 

“Gotta get some good practice in draga; eventually when we get there I need to have some clue as to what I’m doing,” he told you, before nuzzling your cheek. “It was really fun having Rose and Scarlett over.” 

“It was,” you nodded, and leaned into him, only giggling a little when he hoisted you up and began to carry you down the hall, only pausing so you could flick off light switches on the way. “We need to do that more often.” 

He nodded and kissed your temple, turning sideways to get in the door to your room without hitting your head or feet on the doorframe, and then sitting down on the mattress, effectively settling you on his lap. “We do. Maybe have Blake and Ryan and their girls over sometime? James adored you at my birthday last year.”

“Puiut, she adored _you_ … she settled for me because then she was getting any attention you sent my way,” you snorted, making him laugh and press his lips to yours softly, letting you feel the full swell of his lips. 

“Nah, she loved you too draga; I ran into Ryan at the gym like three days later and he said all she could talk about was coming to my birthday and seeing you. Then he told me if they didn’t stop talking about us soon he was gonna drop them off at our building and leave them with us.” 

Well that did sound like Ryan; he loved those kids more than anything in the world but his sense of humour never failed him. 

“Oh come on Baz, you know he likes to tease,”

“Well, _regardless_ , we almost ended up with the older Reynolds’ kid becoming a permanent member of our family and the younger one along for the ride,” he grinned, and kissed your cheek. You let out a long, happy sigh, wrapping yourself around your boyfriend’s solid torso and simply enjoying being with him. In three days he was going to be gone back to New York and then between the two of your schedules you wouldn’t get to see him properly until his birthday. 

“Time for bed?” he suggested a moment later, and you nodded, begrudgingly getting up and stretching. Sebastian’s large hands were soon gently tugging at your clothes, helping you undress before he quickly stripped down and then wrapped his arms around you, pressing his chest against your back. 

“I don’t want to go home without you,” he mumbled against your hair, and you sighed, stroking his arm softly. 

“I know, puiut, my accident kind of screwed everything up on us,” 

“No it didn’t; sweetheart I got to spend a whole month out here with you, it’s been great. Except for, y’know, _that_ ,” he insisted. “It just sucks that the time we’d had organized to get you moved, we don’t have anymore, that’s all. And that now I’m going back to an empty apartment for longer than I’d thought.” 

“I know, this place is going to be awfully quiet without you,” you agreed, turning in his arms to bury your face against his chest. With that the two of you crawled into bed, Sebastian insisting pyjamas of any kind weren’t necessary and wrapping himself around you under the covers to keep you from going and getting any. After rolling your eyes at him you caved and stopped play struggling, because realistically cuddling him and being able to feel his body heat without any interruptions was wonderful. 

“Oh, um, this afternoon I got a really awesome phone call,” he told you, and you looked up at him, interest piqued. It must have slipped his mind with Scarlett and Rose having been over. 

“Oh? About what?” 

“You’ll flip when you hear who I’m doing my next movie with; that one they told me to hesitantly schedule in because they liked my audition?” he grinned, and you racked your brain, knowing there were _so many_ people you’d freak out over but trying to remember if he’d mentioned any of them specifically in regards to projects lately. 

“That’s a big list Baz, wanna narrow it down?” 

“Nicole Kidman. They just booked me to be part of her new movie; that’s what I’m going to be shooting in two weeks,” he grinned, and you let out a squeal before hugging him tight. 

“Oh my God Baz! That’s incredible! That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!” you told him, kissing him eagerly before pulling away. “And Nicole Kidman?! Insane. Please get me an autograph. Just don’t run away with her.” 

“No fears of that sweetheart. I’m quite happily taken and committed to one person,” he winked, before kissing you again. “I thought you’d be pretty excited. I just wish our schedules worked better so that I could introduce you to her while I was filming.” 

“It’s okay Baz; the thought counts. I’m so happy for you,” you wrapped him up tight and squeezed, making him laugh as he rubbed your back. 

“Thanks draga; I’m glad you’re happy,” he said, and you kissed his shoulder. 

“Of course I’m happy for you; we were… we were all a little worried that even though you said the audition and meeting went amazing that with all of this you’d be passed over,” you quietly admitted, hating having to say the words out loud and put any kind of damper on his excitement. “So this is incredible. And it’s Nicole Fucking Kidman!” 

“Yeah, it’s Nicole Kidman. I was thinking… when we get to figure out this vacation thing… maybe after we could look at trying to get on the same project? Just a thought – I mean, I don’t wanna push it or have us be _that_ couple, y’know, but…” 

“I think it would be tons of fun being in a movie with you babe. We should definitely check it out,” you agreed, and saw him grinning from ear to ear as he settled in against the pillows, pulling you closer. 

“Good. Awesome. We can talk about it tomorrow – I’m done for. Who knew keeping a four year old busy was so exhausting?” he asked, making you chuckle. 

“Not I. Now we know better,” you teased, and he barked out a laugh before kissing the top of your head and closing his eyes. 

“Now we do,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!
> 
> So... very excitingly, this chapter is coming to you from NYC! (I'm out on a little trip to be a tourist and see as much as I can!) 
> 
> I hope you guys liked the fluffy chapter and the throw-in of having a few more characters!


	55. Chapter 55

“Hey babe! I can’t _believe_ I haven’t actually seen your face in like a week! What’s… what the hell?” 

Your words died in your throat, and you were pretty sure your eyes had bugged out to the size of saucers. While still organizing yourself after a full day at set you’d started talking to him once he’d connected the call without really looking at the screen until you’d settled down on the couch. The man looking back at you hardly resembled your boyfriend – maybe in a weird parallel universe kind of way, but it was… shocking, to say the least. 

“Hey… uh… like the new haircut?” he asked, running a hand over the shock of fairly short hair on top of his head. It looked long, simply for the fact that the sides of his head were buzzed completely, and a scruffy goatee-like beard thing had been shaved from his fairly full beard. You could see the top of some kind of demi-permanent tattoo on his right shoulder, but still felt like you had trouble talking. He’d warned you that he was going to have to shake things up visually for the role, but this was _beyond_ what you had expected or what he’d let on.

“Oh my God…” 

“Yeah, it’s a little… different,” he allowed with a chuckle, running his hand over his hair again. “But it’s what they wanted for the character, and I mean, it’s easier to get into it when you look in the mirror and don’t really recognize yourself, so…” 

“Yeah, no I get it babe. I just… god…” you tried again, and shook your head, making him chuckle at you while he adjusted his phone screen. He was lounging shirtless in his trailer, and if you could get over the fact his beautiful, luscious, thick hair had turned into _this_ you would’ve drooled at his slightly sweaty abs and pecs on display for you. 

“Claire? Baby? You aren’t gonna leave me over this right? It’ll grow back, I swear!” he joked, and you managed to laugh then, his teasing bringing your brain back around good enough to be able to function properly again. 

“No, I’m not. It’s just so weird… I don’t even have words for it Baz,” you admitted, and he shrugged. 

“Not exactly my first choice haircut, but y’know. It’s for a movie with Nicole Kidman; who can say no to that?” 

“Very true. I guess I can let it slide, puiut. Now spill; how totally amazing is she?” you asked, nearly gushing while your boyfriend laughed at your enthusiasm. You were dressed causally thankfully; a muscle tank – this one was one of your own from Lulu Lemon instead of one of his old gym shirts – and a pair of cut off shorts, trying to combat the LA heat to and from the film lot. Your hair was piled into a bun on top of your head because you’d gone through all matter of things while filming; some nice curls, to fake dirt and mud in it and then being submerged in a ‘lake’ that had all kinds of nasty stuff on top of the water that hadn’t wanted to comb out. A hot shower was on the agenda but you couldn’t wait any longer to see Sebastian when he’d texted that he had some time free from filming to visit. It had only been two and a half weeks since he’d left LA but it seemed like far longer. 

“She’s fantastic, draga; you’d love her. I was telling her about you and she said she can’t wait for your new film to come out; the romcom, she admitted to not being huge on superhero movies,” he relayed, and you nodded, scooting and moving so you were lying on your stomach on the couch with the phone propped up against the end table. 

“Yeah? Did she have anything to say about it?” 

“Yeah, she said she thinks you’re great, draga, and if she could’ve found a part to squeeze you into and your schedule would’ve allowed it she would have snatched you up for some role here too,” he grinned, nearly making you swoon. 

“Oh my God, Nicole Kidman knows I exist!” you squealed, making him laugh. You felt like a fourteen year old gushing to your best friend about the coolest kid in school, and Sebastian had definitely picked up on that energy from his soft grin.

“That she does, draga, and she sends her regrets that she likely won’t get to meet you while we’re filming. But I have explicit instructions to bring you to the premiere so I can introduce you,” he winked, and you nearly fell off the couch in your excitement. 

“I’m dead, Baz; really and in-truly. I grew up watching her and wanted to _be_ her. Did you know I begged my mom to let me dye my hair blonde for like a year because I wanted to be just like her?” 

“Blonde? Oh draga… that would be kind of hot,” he smirked, and scratched lightly at his scruffy goatee. “I’ve never seen you with any color other than your dark brown. Not even in pictures, and I’ve creeped your whole Instagram.” 

“Because I look awful with any color other than my dark brown,” you informed him, making him scoff before grinning at you. You knew he’d gone through your Instagram and decided not to comment because you may or may not have gone through his more than once. It was hard when you were apart and missing each other; and he’d given himself away by liking a picture once that was several years old – this had been since you were dating, so it wasn’t really strange as much as it was adorable and hilarious.

“False. I think you’d make a knockout redhead,” 

“You’re just saying that because you have a thing for Black Widow, real life and comic book,” you shot back, making him bust a gut laughing at you and nearly drop his phone while he tried to catch his breath. 

“Okay, you went a little far… it’s just the comic book version,” he joked, playing along with you as made obvious by his ridiculous grin. 

“Knew it,” 

“And because you really would look incredible with red hair. Like dark red, that almost purple kind of red, y’know what I mean? If we get time off and you feel like experimenting…” he winked, and you chewed on your lip a little. Tempting. You could go for a change and had been considering chopping your hair into a bob of some kind, but red would probably satisfy the need for change just as well. 

“Tell you what. I’ll go redhead if you go blonde. Once you grow some hair back after this mess,” you decided, and he groaned. 

“Do you realize how long it’ll take for me to get normal hair again? I think I’m gonna have to buzz it all when I’m done filming so it’ll all grow the same,” he groaned, and you squinted, trying to picture him practically bald. You didn’t even know what shape his head was without a thick mop of hair, and even now with most of it missing it was hard to picture. 

“I don’t know if I can see you buzzed, puiut,” you told him, and he let out another groan. 

“I don’t think it’s gonna be good. Gonna be a season of baseball caps for me, draga. Don’t expect any nice Thanksgiving or Christmas pictures this year,” he wanted you, and you grinned. 

“I think it’s the _perfect_ year to get pictures done for a Christmas card. You looking like I pulled you out of the most back-wood bayou of Louisiana or a movie-esque trailer park somewhere,” you grinned deviously, and saw the look of concern on his features. You had him hook, line, and sinker on this one and knew it. 

“Oh draga, please tell me you’re joking,” he asked, but you merely shrugged. Trying to act as nonchalant as possible, inspecting your nails like you weren’t talking about something possibly monumental and instead were just running the idea by him for the sake of it even though things were mostly already planned.

“I was talking about it with Annie the other day; we were talking about all of us from Lancaster getting together after or around Thanksgiving and we could all get some pictures done to send them out as Christmas cards; realistically it would be cheaper to split the session and then we’d have some fun group pictures too… she’s got a photographer booked and is just making sure everybody’s available the same days…” 

“No… draga please…” 

“So has your playlist been slimmed down to Sweet Home Alabama and Willie Nelson yet?” you continued on, hardly keeping your composure as he turned the puppy dog eyes on you. Which was only slightly less powerful than usual thanks to this new look. Now he was concerned that you were telling the truth one hundred percent and not just stringing him along, and that full bottom lip was pushed out a little bit further, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he turned on all the charm he had at his disposal.

“Baby please…” 

“Maybe you’ll have to borrow that denim vest that’s on the couch beside you there for the pictures. Y’know, keep the whole vibe going,” 

“Claire, iubit I’m begging you…” 

“Your mama will be just tickled pink when she gets _that_ Christmas card in the mail,” 

“Claire…” his whine cut through the speakers loud and clear, and finally you giggle and cracked, before busting a gut laughing at your boyfriend’s expression. The face he made when he realized he’d been played and played _hard_ was absolutely priceless. 

“You are so mean. I don’t know why I take time out of my busy day to talk to you,” he pouted, looking extremely put out in a childlike way. 

“Aw Baz, it’s just because you love me so much,” you cooed, and then regained some of your composure. “I had to tease, you know that. I love you.” 

He rolled his eyes but cracked a grin, and you knew you were easily off the hook; he would’ve done the same thing to you if the situations were reversed. “I love you too, you stinker. So, what’s new around set?” 

“Not too much, I don’t think. Oh! Lizzie went out on a date with someone, and they’re going for a second one!” you gushed, and saw his eyes widen a little before he was grinning. 

“Yeah? That’s awesome – good for her! Has she talked much about it?”

“Not too much just because she doesn’t want a big deal made out of it at work if it turns out to be kind of a bust thing, but she’s really excited about it Baz; he sounds wonderful, and perfect for her. He’s a total homebody, likes all kinds of music, is super chill…” you started listing, Sebastian nodding as he listened to you explain what you knew of Lizzie’s new beau. 

“Sounds great for her; you’ll have to let her know I approve pending the two of us meeting him,” he winked, and you giggled, letting him know you would do just that. “But a teeny tiny part of me is upset we might never see her and Chace together. I really thought that was possibly happening when he came out to LA there.” 

That was true for you as well. While you’d never really said anything about it to Lizzie, only maybe teasing Chace once or twice, the two of them got along spectacularly and always seemed to have lots of fun together. You and Sebastian had schemed more than once if you could figure out a way to get the two of them on a date so that your two best friends could be together, but this was probably better. No weird awkward get-togethers if things went south, and all of that mess that could come with friends dating friends, but it had been a nice thought. 

“Yeah, I know, me too. Especially when she let slip he was staying at her place instead of a hotel. I thought _for sure_ …” 

“Exactly. And especially when things started to quiet down a little after the press conference and all, but he obviously didn’t make a move of any kind,” Sebastian shrugged, looking like he wasn’t terribly concerned with the matter. “But I mean, this guy sounds awesome for her and she sounds really excited; I’m really happy for her.”

“Me too. I’ll let her know we expect a double-date opportunity when you’re able to come out here if things are going good,” you agreed, and Sebastian smiled softly at you. 

“Perfect. So come on, there’s gotta be more than that going on! You’re in Hollywood, draga,” he prodded slightly, and you rolled your eyes. 

“You also know I’m practically a hermit, Baz. I did go shopping with Chloe last week and got a couple of things. Andy let me know I need to start thinking dresses for the Avengers premiere and what kind of colors and cuts I’m wanting,” you said, and saw his blue eyes sharpen a little and you shifted uncomfortably on the couch when you saw him worry his bottom lip between his teeth. That look always did things to you, because it made you feel like he was undressing you with his eyes and it made a pleased little shiver run down your spine.

“Any chance you can run any ideas by me before you send them off to him? Obviously you pick whatever dress you want to… but draga you know I love to see you in those dresses,” 

“Maybe. Maybe I’ll go do some trying on with Chloe and we can Facetime you to keep you updated,” you smirked back, and he groaned. 

“Baby don’t do this to me, you’re too far away,” he complained, and he shifted on his couch, his hand moving out of frame down his body for a moment before coming back up. You knew exactly what he meant, but the looks he’d been giving you meant you were already hot and bothered and it wasn’t fair you were the only one in that position. Not that you’d try to do it purposefully, but it sucked. And if his squirming was any indication he was getting himself worked up without much help from you.

“Sorry Baz,” you sighed, and ran a hand through your hair to push it off of your face. A weird little sound came from him, and you shot him a look. 

“Sorry… I just… that was a great shot of your boobs,” he bashfully admitted, and soon had picked the phone up and was walking down the short hallway in his trailer before settling down on his bed. All of the blinds were closed – because he liked to sleep and didn’t have to be up with the sun thanks to his filming schedule – so he flicked on a lamp before making himself comfortable. 

“Baby you don’t…” 

“I might have to draga… you’ve already got me excited,” he whispered, and before you could say much he’d rested his phone against the spare pillow and from what you could tell must have been shimmying out of his jeans. Once he’d laid back down he turned his head to look back at the screen and you, and you realized that he must have had himself in hand. It made you blush like mad; the two of you had never really done the whole ‘phone sex’ thing let alone… whatever this was. But after having been ready and available to each other for the past how many weeks, even this time apart had been awful. 

“Baby please… I need you,” he whispered, and you chewed at your lip before picking up your phone and carrying it to your room, just for the sake of feeling like you had privacy. 

“My poor boy…” you cooed, stripping off your shirt and then curling up on your bed, taking a little bit of care that the arm supporting you was under your chest and just _happened_ to put your boobs and lace bra on display for him. A low groan came from him, blue eyes glued to the screen, and his bicep bulged slightly as he moved. 

“Shit… draga…” 

“Yeah? You touching yourself for me Baz?” you tried to make your voice a little deeper, to sound a little husky the way it naturally went when the two of you had sex or fooled around. It felt a little awkward but you’d do whatever it took to help him out, and obviously he found it hot enough to let out a moan and nod. 

“Yes… couldn’t help it… couldn’t stand it any longer babe,” he panted, and you chewed on your lip again, playing with a strand of your hair and keeping your eyes on him. A light sheen of sweat had broken out on his forehead and chest, just hardly visible to you through the phone screen. 

“That feel good, Baz?” 

“Not as good as you,” he replied, and you thought for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to help him out. 

“Close your eyes, puiut, listen to me,” you purred, and with a high-pitched sound he obliged. “I want you to touch yourself nice and slow, the way I like to, hmm?”

A rumble came from his chest, loud enough for you to hear, before he gasped as he did as you asked. You could just hardly see his arm moving, most of him out of frame, but nearly smirked to yourself. This was… kind of hot… having him at your mercy like this and him wanting to be there. 

“Yes draga?” 

“You need more, Baz?” you asked, and got an aggressive head nod. “You can go a little faster. Do you like that? You like being stroked a little faster?” 

“Oh god… draga…” it didn’t take long before he was moaning, his muscles tense and defined, and you had to wonder how you were so lucky. And how the hell you were going to survive another couple months without him being next to you. Especially if this was something he wanted to do to help him get through. 

“Baz, look at me,” you instructed, and he forced his eyes open, dark with desire. “I want you to look at me when you come.” 

“F-fuck…” 

That had done it, and while his eyes did flutter shut his expression gave him away completely as he gasped for air, bicep finally relaxing as he stopped stroking himself, too spent to do much else. 

“Jesus Christ draga… just listening to your voice is enough to…” 

“Feel better puiut?” you asked, and he nodded, opening his eyes and looking at you again with a slightly dopey smile. 

“Much. God do I miss you,” he said, before making a face as he looked down at himself. “And god do I feel like a gross teenager again. Ew.” 

“Why? Didn’t think of the cleanup?” you teased, but from his expression realized you’d hit the nail on the head. 

“Did you… come all over yourself?” you asked, and his cheeks flushed fire engine red, his chest even getting a little pink. You gasped; a little surprised at him, before realizing it was hot. 

It was ridiculously, stupid hot. Obviously it wasn’t safe for you to be away from Sebastian for long periods of time anymore because your brain turned to mush. There was no way you’d ever even thought of that being stimulating in any way before, but to think of Sebastian so lost in need and just letting go… it did things to you.   
“Baz, babe,” the words came out more of a moan than anything else, and his pink cheeks looked like they were on fire as he looked at you. 

“Is that… exciting, for you?” 

“Somehow,” you admitted, your own face too hot for comfort, before he swallowed hard and picked up the phone, before flipping the camera. 

You were met with a view of his naked body, lax against his bed. His member was lying spent against his stomach; slowly working it’s way back to normal after being aroused. And several long lines of his come decorated the incredible abs of his stomach, his skin flushed pink and muscles pleasantly relaxed after having been tensed in anticipation, before he flipped the camera back for you to see his still bright-red face. 

“It’s a mess. I swear I haven’t been a mess like this since high school… I thought I’d learned my lesson,” he sighed, before resting the phone against his pillow again and pushing himself up on an elbow to grab a couple tissues. 

“Well you’re a hot mess, babe,” you informed him, and got a tiny grin. 

“Yeah? That hot for you babe? Need me to help get you off in return?” he asked, sounding hopeful as he began wiping his stomach clean. Your brain couldn’t help but think that he was probably going to need a quick shower, before realizing that was completely off topic from what he’d just said. Your cheeks flushed and you stuttered a little trying to find a way to answer him.

“As hot as that was… I’m not quite… comfortable with all… this yet,” you replied, and he nodded. 

“Of course draga; I’m not trying to push you or anything; I totally get it could be weird. Were you okay with that? Was talking to me while I got off too weird?” he asked, immediately concerned while he finished cleaning himself up and got up momentarily to pull his boxers back on. You got quite the view out of that, before he was lying back on the bed, head on his pillow and watching you intently. 

“Sorry, got distracted by the view there,” you teased, and he blushed and groaned again, hiding his face for a moment. “And no, that was fine. It was hot babe, I just… it’s not something I’m comfortable with for myself. But next time you wanna give me a show like that let me know.” 

The teasing did what it was supposed to and immediately he was chuckling even if a little embarrassed, and he smiled softly at you. If you imagined hard enough you could pretend he was curled around the pillow next to you instead of a couple thousand miles away in Atlanta. 

“You got it babe. It’s way better hearing your voice and seeing you than imagining it anyway,” he told you with a sly grin, making you giggle and feel like a high-school kid talking on the phone with your boyfriend about things you could only pray your parents wouldn’t hear. 

“Yeah?” 

“Of course, Jesus. My imagination is only so vivid, draga, and you know I prefer you any time, any day,” you assured you, making you giggle and shake your head a little at him. He was far too adorable even when talking about things like this. And to think, in a little over a month he turned thirty-five when he didn’t look or seem his age in the way you’d always thought ‘Thirty-Five’ would be. It was also crazy to think that thirty was creeping ever closer for you, which was weirdly anxiety-causing but not all at once; it hadn’t given you nearly the same ridiculous and unnecessary sense of impending doom since you and Sebastian had started dating and you realized he was really no different at thirty-three than you’d been at twenty-five. 

“Good to know Baz; same goes here. I can’t believe I don’t get to see you ‘till your birthday,” you sighed, plucking at a loose thread on your pillowcase and making a mental note to maybe buy another set. You’d bought the cheapest ones you could find at Walmart, knowing they likely wouldn’t make the trek back to New York with you.

“I know draga, but we’ll be okay; we’ll get to talk lots, I promise. Facetime all the time… Jesus you’re gonna be dating an old man in a month and a bit… hope you aren’t having second thoughts?” he teased, bringing you out of your sadness a little bit and making you scoff. 

“Old man? Baz you’re going to be thirty-five, not sixty-five,” you reprimanded, and he rolled his eyes and groaned. 

“Thirty five. I’m going to be thirty-fucking-five… when did I get so old, draga?” 

“I’m guessing it started in about nineteen eighty two…” 

“Oh you smart ass,” he shot back, grin on his lips regardless. “But seriously I just… sometimes I feel like I should be a lot farther along in my life, you know? Like, when my mom was my age? Draga she was raising me by herself, teaching piano lessons and working a second job to make sure I didn’t have to go without anything while I was going to school. What am I doing with myself at almost thirty-five?” 

“Did you already forget and need me to remind you what you just did and cleaned up?” you asked, and he laughed and shot you a playful look. 

“C’mon, lay off draga I _needed_ it… wouldn’t you rather I got off with you talking to me than like… in the shower or something?” 

“The shower would’ve been easier clean up,” you piped up, giving him a shit-eating grin and playing into the fact he’d called you a smart ass. 

“Well next time that’s what you’re getting then,” 

“Ooh, I get to see you dripping wet in the shower while you do it?” you asked, and he groaned and adjusted himself before rolling onto his stomach and pulling his pillow beneath his chest, shooting you a look. 

“I’m going to cut you off from seeing any of this if you keep it up; you know I can’t bounce back in under five minutes… teasing me like that…” 

“You wouldn’t dare,” you gasped, and he smirked. 

“We’ll see,” he sing songed before letting his head flop back against his pillow and letting his blue eyes wander over your face. Obviously his upcoming birthday was bothering him a little more than you’d thought. 

“Are you okay, Baz?” you softly asked, and settled in against your pillows too. 

“I just… I always thought I’d be… more grown-up, at thirty five, I guess,” he allowed, and let his gaze drop for a moment before reconnecting. “Like, married, or at least common-law or whatever we decided on, and kids and own a house somewhere… not being a couple thousand miles away from my girlfriend, Facetiming while I jack off and make a fucking mess of myself like a high school kid.” 

His chuckle was there, and you tried to smile back and not take his words personally. You knew it wasn’t how he meant them, but that little voice in the back of your head – which had luckily been dormant for a while – immediately woke back up and began screaming at you. _You_ were the reason he wasn’t a family man and didn’t have those things, and it stirred up something inside of you. You were conflicted now, about the when and all of those things, after seeing him be so wonderful with Rose, but still wanting a career and the travel and ease of not having a family yet, of not feeling grown-up enough or responsible enough to want to take all of that on yet. And then it started in again, about Rita and her kid… about seeing her name pop up on his phone and the fact that in the past several months before your accident he’d been a lot closer to her than to you. It made your stomach roil that maybe it had been weighing on him that being with her meant he could have all of those things. You tried to shake it off, because you were sure Sebastian would never _do_ something like that, but now that the seed of doubt was planted you knew it would take a hell of a lot of work to uproot it.

“Yeah,” the small word hung between you and Sebastian sucked in a harsh breath. 

“Draga, baby I didn’t mean… you know I don’t mean… I just mean retrospectively; and obviously I’d rather be Facetiming you than anything else, _regardless_ draga. I just meant… I just meant I always thought I’d be all or some of those things by now, but life didn’t have it planned for me like that. You know I’m so, so fucking happy with you draga; happier than I’ve ever been, and that it doesn’t matter that we aren’t there yet, right?” he insisted, and you managed a smile for him. 

“I know, I know you don’t mean it like that Baz, but… it’s still kind of hard to hear you say it knowing that I actually _am_ the reason you don’t have those things yet,” you mumbled, and he ran a hand over his face. 

“Claire… draga… I know it doesn’t help because I know how your brain works but… I can quite easily wait till I’m forty or maybe even… maybe even forty-five to have kids with you. I mean, I made it this far, what’s a couple more years? Especially when they’re still years I get to spend with the love of my life,” his voice softened, and he nearly made you tear up. It was so easy to tell when he was being so unbelievably sincere, because he wore it all over his face. “So don’t worry over that, okay? Kids aren’t the issue here, and when we have them isn’t either. This is me having my existential almost midlife crisis, okay? Bring the attention back to the fact I’m getting fucking old, because _that’s_ the issue here draga,” 

That did get a laugh out of you because of how overdramatic he was in explaining it to you. His whole face lit up at you laughing, and you could only nestle into your pillows some more and give him a soft smile. 

“You really aren’t fucking old, Baz, and I mean it. Sure, you’re getting some grey hairs and you aren’t as flexible as you were when we started dating but…” 

“Oh my God! No!” he flailed, and began laughing hard at it. “You’re supposed to tell me I’m still just as hot as I was when I was like, twenty five babe! You obviously don’t know how to deal with midlife crisis!” 

“Aw, I’m sorry puiut; how’s this. You are _the_ sexiest almost thirty-five year old I’ve ever seen, and if I didn’t know better I’d think you were _maybe_ turning thirty instead of thirty-five. But regardless, when I get to see your for your birthday, I’m still going to take you out for dinner, then take you home and put you through your paces because you’re gorgeous and I can’t keep my hands off of you. How’s that?” 

“Jesus… you could’ve led with that draga… are you actually going to fuck my brains out for my birthday?” he asked, sounding incredibly hopeful. Leave it to him to take _that_ away from everything else he’d wanted to hear, and it made you chuckle at him. He was such a boy sometimes.

“Well, it’s in my tentative game plan,” you allowed, and he moaned before doing a fist-pump. 

“Best girlfriend ever,” he beamed over at you, and you chuckled at his enthusiasm. “Seriously. I haven’t had a lot of crazy-ass birthday sex, which is really sad to think I’ve made it this far without it.” 

“What? And who deprived you of such a thing? You poor boy,” you played along, and he shot you a sad look. 

“Would you believe me if I told you that you’re the first girlfriend in a solid like eight years to go out of their way for birthday sex?” he asked, and you couldn’t help but gasp. What girl _wouldn’t_ want to put him through his paces and have some out of the norm fun with him with the excuse of it being his birthday? That was just insanity. 

“No way…” 

“Yes way… it was probably like 2006-ish the last time somebody went out of their way to make birthday sex about my birthday,” he chuckled, and shook his head. “I mean, I’ve obviously had sex on my birthday since, but it’s never been anything out of the ordinary, if that makes sense? Not saying that this has to be, by any stretch of the imagination. The fact I’m lucky enough to even get laid on my birthday hasn’t escaped me, draga.” 

He was concerned you’d take his words the wrong way, because immediately he was trying to stumble and stutter over explaining that he didn’t _expect_ anything extravagant, or even that you had to do _anything_ that went out of the way, but you only smiled and shrugged him off. All he was doing was giving you ideas, as it were, and that was more than all right. 

“Baz! Baz it’s fine, relax,” you insisted, and finally he quieted down. “I already had some ideas and I’ll just stick to that, okay? No worries. Anyhow, I do want to know if you’re for sure going to be back in New York or if I’m going to have to adjust my plans for travel,” 

“I’ll for sure be back the twelfth, I think around dinner time? But then I’m home for a week and a half before I shoot those three episodes for that new show and then I’m home for your birthday draga,” he grinned, and you nodded. You’d be completely wrapped on filming the week before your birthday, and so depending on what his schedule looked like you’d either be packing up your apartment in Lancaster waiting for Sebastian to fly back and accompany you, or you’d try to hang out on set with him just to be able to spend time together. If all went according to plan you’d be living together to celebrate your second anniversary.

“Perfect. No adjustments to my plan necessary then,” you grinned, and he got a twinkle in his eye and a smug smile on his face. He was extremely pleased at having learned all of this.

“Look at you, planning my birthday. I feel like one lucky son of a bitch, draga,” 

“Better not tell your mama that; she might take offence,” you retorted, and he shook his head laughing, before the phone buzzed and fell over, so you were looking at a black screen. 

“Shit. They want me back on set in five. God draga I can’t wait till I can see you,” he sighed, picking the phone back up and looking at you. 

“I know puiut; I miss you so much,” you agreed, and he managed a small smile. 

“Just another couple months; surely we can survive that, right?” he asked, and you nodded. 

“Of course we can babe. You better get yourself presentable and head out,” you told him, and he nodded. He looked down at himself, made a face, and scratched at his hair – or lack thereof – that he was obviously still getting accustomed to. 

“I might take the quickest shower of life before I head out…” 

“Probably a good call. You probably reek like—”

“OH MY GOD DON’T SAY IT!” he cut you off, giving you a pointed look that softened immediately. 

“I love you, draga,” he whispered, and you nodded, feeling the same overwhelming sense of emotion that always hit both of you when you had to say goodbye. 

“I love you too Baz,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Long time no see... and I hate feeling like a broken record... but I have to say this again. Not just for me, but for anybody else who's ever written for AO3 or anything similar. 
> 
> It's super shitty when as a writer you can't update; whether that's from writer's block, broken laptop/phone/whatever you choose to write on, or life. It's awful and we hate when it happens. Abso-fucking-lutely hate it. Because it feels like we're letting down the people who actually care enough to read what we've created. And that hurts. 
> 
> However, on the flip-side of that coin... if someone's stated they aren't sure when they're going to be able to update next... it's okay to be frustrated or upset. 100%. But it's not okay to rudely badger about it. Because we're already feeling shitty enough about not being able to post, being reminded of that fact by someone you already feel like you're letting down is really damn awful. Just be mindful, and be kind to one another <3
> 
> In the past month I finished my degree and internship, moved halfway across a country, had to start re-learning an old job, start a new one, apply for jobs in my field and interview, run errands that had been neglected for four months while I lived almost 3000 km away, and try to catch up on life that had gone on back here all the while trying to get my shit organized to work toward being part of my (new) professional field. I'm working three casual/part time jobs, have zero schedule or routine or proper stability in my life right now... and that both freaks me out and drives my anxiety through the roof. 
> 
> So, the tldr; of this is be kind when writer's can't/don't post to their schedule or as frequently as they did. They're trying. I'm trying. And I can't guarantee when the next chapter will be, but I'll be doing my best. <3


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